Im not big on politics.
I hear snippets of it here and there...even when our federal elections were on...i thought to myself: "what is the point if the seat in which i make a vote is a Labor seat?"
If my vote doesnt make a dent on swinging the vote which way, then...oh well.
=T
And i think any politician will screw me over side ways...it doesnt matter which party they are with!!!
Its the same with the US elections. I know that in the end there will be an effect on our country some way, it will be filtered through in one way or another...which is independent on who leads the US.
Ive noticed alot of Australians expressing their concerns of Bush being re-elected and Kerry not winning. Expressing their feelings about what other damage Bush will do. Bush is greedy. Bush is this. Bush is that. The war, the war!!!
And then i hear my work colleagues talking about it, and one of the guys i work with was actually hoping that Bush would win. The others were bagging him out...but he isnt someone you want to bag. He is educated and his thoughts on the matter are carefully considered, on a global level.
I thought, seeing that i have read other's opinion on the matter...all anti-Bush...i should ask him and see what he thought since he was pro-Bush (in a way), for him to explain to me why he was supporting Bush.
He told me a million and one things, and to be honest, my memory is crap (short or long term - its bad), so i cant remember everything he said! But what has stuck in my head is that he feels that Bush is decisive. Unlike Kerry, who could easily be manipulated into doing anything everyone says he should do. Kerry would try to please everyone. Bush has the US in its best interest, (and my workmate does not deny that Bush is also looking out for no. 1).
He told me how he felt about Europe and their stance on things, that they are very insular...while the US say that "if u want to join us, u are welcome to join us!" He looks at the US in terms of IT and how it has made us progressed, opening up communication to the world. [I cant remember why he was mentioning this...there was a point, but i obviously dont recall what it was! Oh, he mentions this in terms of the economy, the US dollar versus the Euros, and how the Europeans are anti-Bush!]
My workmate wants to see progression for all, in terms of communication and how the countries all relate to eachother. He sees Bush as working towards fulfilling what he is hoping for. He doesnt feel that Kerry and his policies is looking forward to the future.
Like i said, i dont particularly care about politics...although, i should take a bigger interest in it...Nothing is ever clear cut.
My workmate admittedly said that his opinion changes the more he reads on the subject and the more he spends time overseas to observe the changes...
Right now, he is happy that Bush got re-elected, but he is concerned about the extreme conservatives, in the coming years and how their ideals will impact us.
He said to me: "...there will always be something to worry about..."
Friday, November 05, 2004
Thursday, November 04, 2004
The story she told a nation...
On breakfast radio today, they were urging girls who had a Bridget Jones' type moment to call up the radio station and share it with the rest of the nation.
A girl called and told of a story about one nite when she went out with her girlfriends...she got really trashed and then went home. She just got into a recent relationship with a guy and he was in bed. She hopped into bed but then felt sick and instead of going to the nearest bathroom in the house upstairs, she tumbled down the stairs to go to the bathroom there.
She cut the story short and went on describing how the boyfriend got worried so he went to the bathroom and knocked on the door asking if she was okay. He didnt hear a response and proceeded to open the door.
What he found was his girlfriend stark naked in front of him, trying to hold the walls of the bathroom up, shouting at him: "Would you leave me alone, so i can have my dignity!?!?" But apparently she slurred that and it sounded more like "Wooo u lemme aloooohhhh, so i cammmm habbbb my diiiignniifffiiii??"
His response to her was: "I'll hold your hair for you..." while she upchucked.
When she said that line, before she continued with what happened next, i thought to myself..."That guy is a keeper...i hope they are still together!"
Moral of the story is, no matter how embarassing the situation...if ur boyfriend offers to do something that helps restore some dignity to you, marry him straight away!
They are now happily married!
=)
A girl called and told of a story about one nite when she went out with her girlfriends...she got really trashed and then went home. She just got into a recent relationship with a guy and he was in bed. She hopped into bed but then felt sick and instead of going to the nearest bathroom in the house upstairs, she tumbled down the stairs to go to the bathroom there.
She cut the story short and went on describing how the boyfriend got worried so he went to the bathroom and knocked on the door asking if she was okay. He didnt hear a response and proceeded to open the door.
What he found was his girlfriend stark naked in front of him, trying to hold the walls of the bathroom up, shouting at him: "Would you leave me alone, so i can have my dignity!?!?" But apparently she slurred that and it sounded more like "Wooo u lemme aloooohhhh, so i cammmm habbbb my diiiignniifffiiii??"
His response to her was: "I'll hold your hair for you..." while she upchucked.
When she said that line, before she continued with what happened next, i thought to myself..."That guy is a keeper...i hope they are still together!"
Moral of the story is, no matter how embarassing the situation...if ur boyfriend offers to do something that helps restore some dignity to you, marry him straight away!
They are now happily married!
=)
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Remember the gym guy?
There was a time where i sorta had fun perving on the guy at the gym...and for some reason when i started seeing "him", i didnt see the guy at the gym any more.
Perhaps it was the fact that my lifestyle changed slightly, so i didnt go to the gym at the same time as he did...but recently, i noticed that he was back.
Or maybe im the one that is back at the gym?
Either way, i see him at the gym now and its weird...he had many opportunities to make eyes with me when i was single...but now that im taken, its like he wants to speak to me...
And he knows im unavailable, because one nite, when i was speaking to my friend...he was working out right in front of us...and because it was late at nite...barely anyone around, i had no inhibitions in speaking in an audible tone of voice. I was talking to my friend about my "bf". So, yes, he knows...
I saw him the last few times i was at the gym, and it seems like he wants to approach me, but doesnt know how to start a conversation...ahahahhahaa...
So, that is what i think anyways...for all i know, he could just be interested in finding out whether im "that" girl from such-and-such place, who happens to know so-and-so?! *LoL*
Perhaps it was the fact that my lifestyle changed slightly, so i didnt go to the gym at the same time as he did...but recently, i noticed that he was back.
Or maybe im the one that is back at the gym?
Either way, i see him at the gym now and its weird...he had many opportunities to make eyes with me when i was single...but now that im taken, its like he wants to speak to me...
And he knows im unavailable, because one nite, when i was speaking to my friend...he was working out right in front of us...and because it was late at nite...barely anyone around, i had no inhibitions in speaking in an audible tone of voice. I was talking to my friend about my "bf". So, yes, he knows...
I saw him the last few times i was at the gym, and it seems like he wants to approach me, but doesnt know how to start a conversation...ahahahhahaa...
So, that is what i think anyways...for all i know, he could just be interested in finding out whether im "that" girl from such-and-such place, who happens to know so-and-so?! *LoL*
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Trifecta...
So long, farewell...
I was ecstatic when Haley got kicked out from Idol last nite.
I have never liked her from the start...
To me she seemed pretentious...look at the fact that she had a "Thank You" speech prepared for last nite. I heard she "prepared it a few weeks back"...but *ugh*!
She always appeared selfish to me. The moment she knew she was safe each week, she would rush to her "safe" seat on the couch...other contestants who find out that they are NOT getting booted off, linger on the stage while hugging the other contestant saying good bye.
Grrr...
I told him that he was in "no position to say that to me"!
He got offended.
I got pissed off!
He made me cry out of disappointment.
I'm over it now...fudgin PMS!
Hole in my heart
SATC is capable of filling up the void in a single girl's heart. But to a girl who is in a relationship...it has the capacity to create a bigger void.
I was swept away from all the romanticism between Carrie and Alexsandr...especially that horse and buggy ride at the end.
Im trying to be realistic, really i am...but i cant deny that it is what i want...from my partner...
He asked me to go to the World Cup with him in 2006. Going to Germany isnt a bad idea...i love travelling and i want to travel as much as i possibly can...but i was daunted, and a bit frightened...he obviously knows what he wants...i am obviously more skeptical and cautious.
I didnt say yes, but i didnt say no...and i told him that i was astonished that he had asked me to go with him...i asked how he was so certain that we would be together in 2006? He questioned me, "Dont u think we'll be together then?"
I dont know.
Who can be certain of where they will be tomoro?
No one.
I was ecstatic when Haley got kicked out from Idol last nite.
I have never liked her from the start...
To me she seemed pretentious...look at the fact that she had a "Thank You" speech prepared for last nite. I heard she "prepared it a few weeks back"...but *ugh*!
She always appeared selfish to me. The moment she knew she was safe each week, she would rush to her "safe" seat on the couch...other contestants who find out that they are NOT getting booted off, linger on the stage while hugging the other contestant saying good bye.
Grrr...
I told him that he was in "no position to say that to me"!
He got offended.
I got pissed off!
He made me cry out of disappointment.
I'm over it now...fudgin PMS!
Hole in my heart
SATC is capable of filling up the void in a single girl's heart. But to a girl who is in a relationship...it has the capacity to create a bigger void.
I was swept away from all the romanticism between Carrie and Alexsandr...especially that horse and buggy ride at the end.
Im trying to be realistic, really i am...but i cant deny that it is what i want...from my partner...
He asked me to go to the World Cup with him in 2006. Going to Germany isnt a bad idea...i love travelling and i want to travel as much as i possibly can...but i was daunted, and a bit frightened...he obviously knows what he wants...i am obviously more skeptical and cautious.
I didnt say yes, but i didnt say no...and i told him that i was astonished that he had asked me to go with him...i asked how he was so certain that we would be together in 2006? He questioned me, "Dont u think we'll be together then?"
I dont know.
Who can be certain of where they will be tomoro?
No one.
Monday, November 01, 2004
Lost in the Translation...
I've noticed with the movies I have watched recently...they are movies which are limited in dialogue. A lot has been left to the music to envoke emotions and to transcend between different scenes.
When i watched Lost in Translation last year (or was it early this year?), during the Moonlight Cinemas...it was like a new thing...dialogue was minimal...you had to be more observant to the actions of the actors using ur eyes, rather than paying attention by listening with your ears...
I caught the Triplets of Belleville (cartoon) during the French Film Fest, and that was also a movie with little speech between characters. In that sense, its good for me in terms of translating the French to English. But if you fail to pay attention, you will possibly fail to fully understand the movie as it is told via the characters expressions and actions, and the soundtrack of the movie.
About a fortnite ago, we went to watch Zatoichi at Dendy's. Its a Japanese musical/action type of movie. It was suppose to rival movies of the like as Kill Bill vol. 1 and 2. Once again, the dialogue was limited...very short and sweet...the farmers in the scene incorporated the use of their farming utensils as though they were musical instruments...they even have a tap dance sequence!
I was a bit disappointed by the ending...but then i was disappointed by the ending in Kill Bill vol. 2.
Yesterday, i went watch "The Consequences of Love" - part of the Italian Film Fest in Leichardt. Once again, i find myself watching a movie that has little dialogue...it was reviewed as an Italian movie that was much a thriller like "The Usual Suspects"...i, perhaps, anticipated much more...there was little violence, or action...maybe i didnt delve into the movie as much as i should have? It was very subtle...there were some high points where some sarcastic comments shone through...amazingly enough, i understood and laughed on que!
He said the highlight was the 2 BMWs in the movie and the way the movie ended, as in his opinion...it could not have ended in any other plausible way! Out of 4 stars, he would give it 1...im leaning towards giving it 2.5 stars.
So, i disagree.
I dont know what made it interesting to me...maybe its because im trying to learn to express more without expressing too much, by cutting out my dialogue!
He is always reminding me that actions speak louder than words. im always arguing that women prefer verbal communication...
One male friend puts it nicely when he said:
"The way to a woman's heart is through her ears, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach!"
I really agree with this friend's comment...but lets leave it at that!
Basically, i am making my attempt to just absorb and observe actions and i am trying awfully hard to eliminate verbal communication as the only means to understanding. Which is probably why i like those movies so much, they are quietly teaching me something...a life lesson perhaps?
When i watched Lost in Translation last year (or was it early this year?), during the Moonlight Cinemas...it was like a new thing...dialogue was minimal...you had to be more observant to the actions of the actors using ur eyes, rather than paying attention by listening with your ears...
I caught the Triplets of Belleville (cartoon) during the French Film Fest, and that was also a movie with little speech between characters. In that sense, its good for me in terms of translating the French to English. But if you fail to pay attention, you will possibly fail to fully understand the movie as it is told via the characters expressions and actions, and the soundtrack of the movie.
About a fortnite ago, we went to watch Zatoichi at Dendy's. Its a Japanese musical/action type of movie. It was suppose to rival movies of the like as Kill Bill vol. 1 and 2. Once again, the dialogue was limited...very short and sweet...the farmers in the scene incorporated the use of their farming utensils as though they were musical instruments...they even have a tap dance sequence!
I was a bit disappointed by the ending...but then i was disappointed by the ending in Kill Bill vol. 2.
Yesterday, i went watch "The Consequences of Love" - part of the Italian Film Fest in Leichardt. Once again, i find myself watching a movie that has little dialogue...it was reviewed as an Italian movie that was much a thriller like "The Usual Suspects"...i, perhaps, anticipated much more...there was little violence, or action...maybe i didnt delve into the movie as much as i should have? It was very subtle...there were some high points where some sarcastic comments shone through...amazingly enough, i understood and laughed on que!
He said the highlight was the 2 BMWs in the movie and the way the movie ended, as in his opinion...it could not have ended in any other plausible way! Out of 4 stars, he would give it 1...im leaning towards giving it 2.5 stars.
So, i disagree.
I dont know what made it interesting to me...maybe its because im trying to learn to express more without expressing too much, by cutting out my dialogue!
He is always reminding me that actions speak louder than words. im always arguing that women prefer verbal communication...
One male friend puts it nicely when he said:
"The way to a woman's heart is through her ears, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach!"
I really agree with this friend's comment...but lets leave it at that!
Basically, i am making my attempt to just absorb and observe actions and i am trying awfully hard to eliminate verbal communication as the only means to understanding. Which is probably why i like those movies so much, they are quietly teaching me something...a life lesson perhaps?
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Varied tones...
I speak differently to guys as i do to girls.
I speak differently to guys, depending who they are to me.
I noticed last nite that the tone in my voice changed with my ex.
When i was still single and we hung out, id sound all girly and feminine.
Now i speak to him in the way i speak to my brothers, or to my really close male friends...because around them, i am the tomboy i once was and i speak to them like i am one of the boys!
I notice now that when i speak to him my girly feminine voice is directed to him.
Even when im upset with him or around him...i will still be soft spoken...
But with anyone else, i would be loud and angry!
I dont know.
Is it a matter of my sub-conscious choosing my different personalities and directing them to whomever???
I dont think i choose to speak in what tone with whom...
Is the girly, feminine me...really me? Or is the tomboy the real me? Can't i be both...aren't i both???
All i know is, the tone i now speak in, to my ex...its changed...which means our relationship has changed.
I speak differently to guys, depending who they are to me.
I noticed last nite that the tone in my voice changed with my ex.
When i was still single and we hung out, id sound all girly and feminine.
Now i speak to him in the way i speak to my brothers, or to my really close male friends...because around them, i am the tomboy i once was and i speak to them like i am one of the boys!
I notice now that when i speak to him my girly feminine voice is directed to him.
Even when im upset with him or around him...i will still be soft spoken...
But with anyone else, i would be loud and angry!
I dont know.
Is it a matter of my sub-conscious choosing my different personalities and directing them to whomever???
I dont think i choose to speak in what tone with whom...
Is the girly, feminine me...really me? Or is the tomboy the real me? Can't i be both...aren't i both???
All i know is, the tone i now speak in, to my ex...its changed...which means our relationship has changed.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Miss Keys...
I'm doin' more than I've ever done
for anyone's attention.
Take notice of what's in front of you
'cause did i mention (Oh!)
you're 'bout to miss a good thing?
And you'll never know how good it feels to have
all of my affection.
And you'll never get a chance to experience
my lovin' (Oh!)
'Cause my lovin feels like...
OooOoOoOoOooOooOooo...
She was superb!
She was flawless!
She can really play the piano!
She can really shake her thang!
She knows how to get the crowd going!
She knew how to get me feelin' gooey-good on the inside!
heheehehehe
The list can go on, but whomever appreciates Alicia knows that i dont need to brag about her...(but i will anyways!)
Seeing her live is different from listening to her albums...obviously, u get to see her in person, & hear her in person...but in terms of her vocals and her performance...she is an excellent entertainer, with a whole lot of talent!
I've been to many concerts and she is definitely one of the best for the price in which i paid to see her!
I like going to concerts of artists who surprise you by changing the songs slightly, instead of playing it as you hear it on the album. She extended some songs with dancier beats...she added a bit of drama/light/flair to her songs...she has excellent backup singers, notably the male backup, think his name is Jermaine...*oooohhh*...his voice is silky smooth! *LoL*
Even if i didnt feel like dancing, the band played some beats that left my hips swaying without my consciousness realising...and if the band's music didnt get u started, Alicia sure did.
Watching her dance, made me want to take lessons even more than i do now. *Mental Note: I must conquer the booty shake!* ahahahahaha
I heard from various people, not just "him" that her thighs were big...i didnt see it! M didnt see it! I derno, i think the male species are over-exaggerating her thighs in their minds...cos they were proportional to the rest of her...yes a bit more bigger than the thighs of a stick figure model...but looking at her curvy body, it made me proud of my rounder bits!
A friend of a friend of mine said she looked "Fatter"...*gasp*...i was actually anticipating a more "fuller figure"...but surprisingly, i found a very svelte and sexy Alicia Keys on stage...so i dont know what they were talking about!??!
The nite passed very quickly...cos when she finished singing her final song - "You dont know my name..." and the lights came on at the Enmore, i peeked at my watch and saw that it was just after 11pm. She came on stage at about 9:30pm. So, the performance went on for about 1.5 hours and yet it felt more like 30 minutes! I guess that is an indication that the concert was fabulous, seeing that it passed by without my knowing...
I thoroughly enjoyed the concert...no micro-sleeps like Superjesus!
=P
Joel will be posting the photos he took of Alicia, up some time...hopefully soon...keep u guys posted.
for anyone's attention.
Take notice of what's in front of you
'cause did i mention (Oh!)
you're 'bout to miss a good thing?
And you'll never know how good it feels to have
all of my affection.
And you'll never get a chance to experience
my lovin' (Oh!)
'Cause my lovin feels like...
OooOoOoOoOooOooOooo...
She was superb!
She was flawless!
She can really play the piano!
She can really shake her thang!
She knows how to get the crowd going!
She knew how to get me feelin' gooey-good on the inside!
heheehehehe
The list can go on, but whomever appreciates Alicia knows that i dont need to brag about her...(but i will anyways!)
Seeing her live is different from listening to her albums...obviously, u get to see her in person, & hear her in person...but in terms of her vocals and her performance...she is an excellent entertainer, with a whole lot of talent!
I've been to many concerts and she is definitely one of the best for the price in which i paid to see her!
I like going to concerts of artists who surprise you by changing the songs slightly, instead of playing it as you hear it on the album. She extended some songs with dancier beats...she added a bit of drama/light/flair to her songs...she has excellent backup singers, notably the male backup, think his name is Jermaine...*oooohhh*...his voice is silky smooth! *LoL*
Even if i didnt feel like dancing, the band played some beats that left my hips swaying without my consciousness realising...and if the band's music didnt get u started, Alicia sure did.
Watching her dance, made me want to take lessons even more than i do now. *Mental Note: I must conquer the booty shake!* ahahahahaha
I heard from various people, not just "him" that her thighs were big...i didnt see it! M didnt see it! I derno, i think the male species are over-exaggerating her thighs in their minds...cos they were proportional to the rest of her...yes a bit more bigger than the thighs of a stick figure model...but looking at her curvy body, it made me proud of my rounder bits!
A friend of a friend of mine said she looked "Fatter"...*gasp*...i was actually anticipating a more "fuller figure"...but surprisingly, i found a very svelte and sexy Alicia Keys on stage...so i dont know what they were talking about!??!
The nite passed very quickly...cos when she finished singing her final song - "You dont know my name..." and the lights came on at the Enmore, i peeked at my watch and saw that it was just after 11pm. She came on stage at about 9:30pm. So, the performance went on for about 1.5 hours and yet it felt more like 30 minutes! I guess that is an indication that the concert was fabulous, seeing that it passed by without my knowing...
I thoroughly enjoyed the concert...no micro-sleeps like Superjesus!
=P
Joel will be posting the photos he took of Alicia, up some time...hopefully soon...keep u guys posted.
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
The things i saw last nite...
A volvo driver...she was actually using a powder puff on her face with a compact in the other hand while the car was in motion. NOT while the car was stationary, but while the car was moving!
-_-"
I went out to have dinner for my lil bro's birthday and there was this old man and a little boy having dinner too. The old man would chase the boy around the restaurant with a spoonful of rice and whatever dish the rice was suppose to be eaten with. The boy's mother apparently leaves her son with the grandfather to look after, while she goes cavorting with different men, all day - every day. My mum told me, cos the restaurant owner told her...
I watched this movie while we were having dinner...a Thai one about a Thai boxer dude trying to recover a Buddhas head sculpture from some "bad guys", to return it to his village. It was translated from Thai to Cantonese with English subtitles. I lost count as to how many times they said the "F" word...and they had stoopid Aussie travellers in these extras roles, where they get beaten the life out of them by this Thai boxer. According to my lil bro, this Thai boxer had to train for 3 months to weaken himself, for fear that he would seriously injure all the actors in the movie. He did all his stunts on his own...there was one scene where a big ass saw was being pushed into his forearms while the bad guy was pushing him towards a wall...and then with one big swipe the saw serrates his arm...*ugh*...and its like he felt no pain...Thai boxers do punch sand bags and kick banana trees...basically they kill all the nerves in their body so they can take the blows while fighting...
>_<
I saw all these cute pj's in the Peter Alexander catalogue...very cute! There is this pink nightie...they called it the "goddess"...and there are these shorts and singlet sets which come in these funky bags...heheehehhe...I think i know what to get my Secret Santa for this year!
;)
I was trying to tidy up all the shoes lying around, right outside my bedroom door...i have so many shoes, but so little space! I need to chuck out everything in my room...but i hoard things...which is very bad considering my room is the size of a shoe box!
=(
SATC: Double Episode! I like watching Miranda being the anti-almost-everything skeptic adapt to her new life...as a family unit...In some ways, its like a celebration for all those women who want it all...Career, baby, partner for life...a balance of it all.
^_^
-_-"
I went out to have dinner for my lil bro's birthday and there was this old man and a little boy having dinner too. The old man would chase the boy around the restaurant with a spoonful of rice and whatever dish the rice was suppose to be eaten with. The boy's mother apparently leaves her son with the grandfather to look after, while she goes cavorting with different men, all day - every day. My mum told me, cos the restaurant owner told her...
I watched this movie while we were having dinner...a Thai one about a Thai boxer dude trying to recover a Buddhas head sculpture from some "bad guys", to return it to his village. It was translated from Thai to Cantonese with English subtitles. I lost count as to how many times they said the "F" word...and they had stoopid Aussie travellers in these extras roles, where they get beaten the life out of them by this Thai boxer. According to my lil bro, this Thai boxer had to train for 3 months to weaken himself, for fear that he would seriously injure all the actors in the movie. He did all his stunts on his own...there was one scene where a big ass saw was being pushed into his forearms while the bad guy was pushing him towards a wall...and then with one big swipe the saw serrates his arm...*ugh*...and its like he felt no pain...Thai boxers do punch sand bags and kick banana trees...basically they kill all the nerves in their body so they can take the blows while fighting...
>_<
I saw all these cute pj's in the Peter Alexander catalogue...very cute! There is this pink nightie...they called it the "goddess"...and there are these shorts and singlet sets which come in these funky bags...heheehehhe...I think i know what to get my Secret Santa for this year!
;)
I was trying to tidy up all the shoes lying around, right outside my bedroom door...i have so many shoes, but so little space! I need to chuck out everything in my room...but i hoard things...which is very bad considering my room is the size of a shoe box!
=(
SATC: Double Episode! I like watching Miranda being the anti-almost-everything skeptic adapt to her new life...as a family unit...In some ways, its like a celebration for all those women who want it all...Career, baby, partner for life...a balance of it all.
^_^
Monday, October 25, 2004
Please explain...
Delta Goodrem: Why oh why did you even go out with the Poo in the first place??? He isnt worthy of you, and never will be...
L/E/V/J: I cant explain why i said what i said on Friday nite...Was i drunk and intoxicated? I think i was trying to say penguin and realised that it wasnt a penguin...and then i tried to correct myself...but ended up saying "Peliguin"...WTF? O_o
Him: Why is it so important to you that i speak Cantonese or not?
V_N: Please explain it to me why you are so curious about my bf? or more so my "status" with my bf??? I also think it is awfully rude to be asking my close male friends about me and my relationship...right in front of me! Like WHY? If you are genuinely interested in it, then why not ask me?
=P
Missy Higgins: Why is it that when u play live, ur music sounds more up beat? I listened to your album and its mellow...i listened to you live, and even the mellowist diddy was rich and lively! You really rocked the place! It was the best $24 i have spent for a Saturday nite.
And i dont know why u didnt win that concert in highschool with the song "Cactus"...which i think was the best song you performed on the nite! I guess the judges at that school competition were tone deaf or something...
Kobe Jones: What drugs did u use to lace my Anko (green tea creme brulee) with? All i can say is that i want more...More i tell you!!!
Courtney: Why did u sing the song and kill it for me? You didnt hit the notes when u were suppose to! 'What A Fool Believes' by The Doobie Brothers has a very high chorus bit that u just made "bleh"...i was all hopes when u began singing, it actually sounded alright, the first verse...and then? Well, it went down hill...sometimes during the song, i couldnt even hear ur voice...and that is definitely wrong!
L/E/V/J: I cant explain why i said what i said on Friday nite...Was i drunk and intoxicated? I think i was trying to say penguin and realised that it wasnt a penguin...and then i tried to correct myself...but ended up saying "Peliguin"...WTF? O_o
Him: Why is it so important to you that i speak Cantonese or not?
V_N: Please explain it to me why you are so curious about my bf? or more so my "status" with my bf??? I also think it is awfully rude to be asking my close male friends about me and my relationship...right in front of me! Like WHY? If you are genuinely interested in it, then why not ask me?
=P
Missy Higgins: Why is it that when u play live, ur music sounds more up beat? I listened to your album and its mellow...i listened to you live, and even the mellowist diddy was rich and lively! You really rocked the place! It was the best $24 i have spent for a Saturday nite.
And i dont know why u didnt win that concert in highschool with the song "Cactus"...which i think was the best song you performed on the nite! I guess the judges at that school competition were tone deaf or something...
Kobe Jones: What drugs did u use to lace my Anko (green tea creme brulee) with? All i can say is that i want more...More i tell you!!!
Courtney: Why did u sing the song and kill it for me? You didnt hit the notes when u were suppose to! 'What A Fool Believes' by The Doobie Brothers has a very high chorus bit that u just made "bleh"...i was all hopes when u began singing, it actually sounded alright, the first verse...and then? Well, it went down hill...sometimes during the song, i couldnt even hear ur voice...and that is definitely wrong!
Friday, October 22, 2004
ehh...*shoulder raises and then drops*
I was busily doing reports yesterday...i hate being hassled!
I booked reservations for dinner tonite at Kobe Jones...then were doing the Sugar Hit at the Sheraton.
Drinks with L & E for their return is on first...I cant believe its been over 5 months that E has been away for...jetting and causing havoc across Europe!
I went to the gym last nite, and when i got home, i opened my car door and took a step outside...then i heard a cracking sound...i had stepped on a poor innocent snail!
=(
I cant believe how it has effected me...i felt and still feel really bad...the sound is actually plaguing me...
Im going to Missy Higgin's concert at the Roxy tomoro nite...a friend went to her concert at the Metro, said it was awesome...so im going to check it out...especially since i also get to catch up with some old friends!
My lil brother's birthday is next week...its the day i go to Alicia Key's concert. I bought him a Mooks jacket during winter and gave it to him for his birthday...and then the other nite, he comes up to me and goes:
"Sis...u know what u can get me for my birthday?"
O_O
"I bought u the jacket u wanted, remember?"
"Yeah, but u know what else u can get me??? You can buy all my text books that i need for school!"
O_O"
[at this point he is poking me...trying to annoy me, but at the same time trying to butter me up].
"But i got u a present already...what? Do you think im made of money?"
"YES!"
So, i gave him the money! What are big sisters for, eh? If not to get money from!
=P
I'm hoping that the rain continues...so our dam levels go up...but i just want a clear sky for tonite...i dont like going out in the rain...
I heard on the radio, that if it rains like this for 5-6 more days, our dam level will get to about 70% which is when the first water restrictions came in...id be happy to hear that.
Chloe is bullying her little sister Aimee...sometimes, when i hear the stories my sis-in-law tells me, i just want to smack the life out of Chloe and put some sense into her...I dont know why she is so mean to her little sister...im not sure if its still a jealousy issue, because she is still showered with affection and spoilt like a rotten brat!
=(
Aimee isnt spoilt like Chloe...which is why i love her more.
*sigh*
I booked reservations for dinner tonite at Kobe Jones...then were doing the Sugar Hit at the Sheraton.
Drinks with L & E for their return is on first...I cant believe its been over 5 months that E has been away for...jetting and causing havoc across Europe!
I went to the gym last nite, and when i got home, i opened my car door and took a step outside...then i heard a cracking sound...i had stepped on a poor innocent snail!
=(
I cant believe how it has effected me...i felt and still feel really bad...the sound is actually plaguing me...
Im going to Missy Higgin's concert at the Roxy tomoro nite...a friend went to her concert at the Metro, said it was awesome...so im going to check it out...especially since i also get to catch up with some old friends!
My lil brother's birthday is next week...its the day i go to Alicia Key's concert. I bought him a Mooks jacket during winter and gave it to him for his birthday...and then the other nite, he comes up to me and goes:
"Sis...u know what u can get me for my birthday?"
O_O
"I bought u the jacket u wanted, remember?"
"Yeah, but u know what else u can get me??? You can buy all my text books that i need for school!"
O_O"
[at this point he is poking me...trying to annoy me, but at the same time trying to butter me up].
"But i got u a present already...what? Do you think im made of money?"
"YES!"
So, i gave him the money! What are big sisters for, eh? If not to get money from!
=P
I'm hoping that the rain continues...so our dam levels go up...but i just want a clear sky for tonite...i dont like going out in the rain...
I heard on the radio, that if it rains like this for 5-6 more days, our dam level will get to about 70% which is when the first water restrictions came in...id be happy to hear that.
Chloe is bullying her little sister Aimee...sometimes, when i hear the stories my sis-in-law tells me, i just want to smack the life out of Chloe and put some sense into her...I dont know why she is so mean to her little sister...im not sure if its still a jealousy issue, because she is still showered with affection and spoilt like a rotten brat!
=(
Aimee isnt spoilt like Chloe...which is why i love her more.
*sigh*
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
A decade makes a difference...
My new workmate...well he isnt all that new anymore, but he is the newest addition to the team.
He sits next to me.
Initially, i wasnt sure what to make of him...because he was quiet and reserved. I mean, i knew he was polite...be he didnt seem to want to mingle with the rest of us.
Then after i moved to his corner of our open-planned sitting arrangement, we started talking.
He did Comp Sci too...but he pays me out because i went to USYD (im a snob apparently) and he went to UWS.
He is 10 years my senior but i like talking to him. He calls me "squirt" and when i offer my opinion that obviously goes against the grain...he says that im "answering back to my elders..." or "these generation Y kids...have no respect..." ahhahahaaha
I like talking to him, because he is educated and has a lot to share...and its an ego trip for me, that i can discuss about things on his level. Most of the time, when were taking the mickey out of eachother we are on an even playing field.
I forget that he is 10 years older and is well travelled, experienced, and has been in the industry for just as long as our age gap. I think when i speak to him, he sometimes forgets that i am younger...altho, he did initially guess that i was only 18 y/o.
I think its my giggle, that makes him think that im younger...when im not!
Sometimes, my responses to certain issues just makes him laugh...thankfully, he isnt laughing at me...but laughing at the memories that i bring back to him...my mentality is like a mirror of his when he was younger...he felt the same way i felt about things...
And he assures me now, my thoughts and feelings will change when i get to his age...heh! is that something to look forward to?
He claims he was arrogant when he was younger...i asked if thats what he thought i was, arrogant? He said its more readily noticed in men...women conceal it better.
That didnt answer my question! ahahahahaa
And he hates it when im correct, which is often when its related to work stuff. *LoL*
Its really cool talking to him about travel...we both look at travel sites and check out airfares when work gets annoying. His brother lives in Switzerland and when he goes to Europe thats his point of reference when he goes to the neighbouring countries.
He is the only other person who understands my stress with Reporting!
Its cool that i can b*tch about Optus to him too, because thats who he worked for previously...and he obviously hated it enough to get out of there...
Im trying to teach him how to be aggressive...he thinks i should go work for Optus! I took that as an insult! ahahahaha
I wonder if i will mellow out like he has in 10 years time...? I dont think so, but then again, anything is possible.
I asked him about "romance"...and he said that it was an independent issue...that romance was one of the expressions of affection for another...every guy is different, and every time it is different...it all depends on whether and whom their object of desire is and how they respond to them.
I should have spoken to him first.
He often has a way of putting things into perspective.
He sits next to me.
Initially, i wasnt sure what to make of him...because he was quiet and reserved. I mean, i knew he was polite...be he didnt seem to want to mingle with the rest of us.
Then after i moved to his corner of our open-planned sitting arrangement, we started talking.
He did Comp Sci too...but he pays me out because i went to USYD (im a snob apparently) and he went to UWS.
He is 10 years my senior but i like talking to him. He calls me "squirt" and when i offer my opinion that obviously goes against the grain...he says that im "answering back to my elders..." or "these generation Y kids...have no respect..." ahhahahaaha
I like talking to him, because he is educated and has a lot to share...and its an ego trip for me, that i can discuss about things on his level. Most of the time, when were taking the mickey out of eachother we are on an even playing field.
I forget that he is 10 years older and is well travelled, experienced, and has been in the industry for just as long as our age gap. I think when i speak to him, he sometimes forgets that i am younger...altho, he did initially guess that i was only 18 y/o.
I think its my giggle, that makes him think that im younger...when im not!
Sometimes, my responses to certain issues just makes him laugh...thankfully, he isnt laughing at me...but laughing at the memories that i bring back to him...my mentality is like a mirror of his when he was younger...he felt the same way i felt about things...
And he assures me now, my thoughts and feelings will change when i get to his age...heh! is that something to look forward to?
He claims he was arrogant when he was younger...i asked if thats what he thought i was, arrogant? He said its more readily noticed in men...women conceal it better.
That didnt answer my question! ahahahahaa
And he hates it when im correct, which is often when its related to work stuff. *LoL*
Its really cool talking to him about travel...we both look at travel sites and check out airfares when work gets annoying. His brother lives in Switzerland and when he goes to Europe thats his point of reference when he goes to the neighbouring countries.
He is the only other person who understands my stress with Reporting!
Its cool that i can b*tch about Optus to him too, because thats who he worked for previously...and he obviously hated it enough to get out of there...
Im trying to teach him how to be aggressive...he thinks i should go work for Optus! I took that as an insult! ahahahaha
I wonder if i will mellow out like he has in 10 years time...? I dont think so, but then again, anything is possible.
I asked him about "romance"...and he said that it was an independent issue...that romance was one of the expressions of affection for another...every guy is different, and every time it is different...it all depends on whether and whom their object of desire is and how they respond to them.
I should have spoken to him first.
He often has a way of putting things into perspective.
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Romantic Overtures...
I watched Sex and the City last nite, where Carrie was romanced by Alexsandr.
It invoked the girly girl in me that wants to be swept off her feet. (Recall my Cinderalla-esque longing?)
I watched as Miranda and Steve tied the knot...finding eachother was almost a covert mission, admitting they loved eachother was an even harder task. But they found eachother...
I feel like running in the opposite direction again...metaphorically.
When Carrie told the girls about all the romantic things Alexsandr was doing for her, Miranda gagged. Carrie mentions that in NYC romantic is when a guy gives u his seat on the train. Miranda gives a "here-here" on that note. I actually agree, its sweet when a guy gives u his seat...u tend not to see it happen much these days.
He isnt romantic.
Why arent guys romantic?!??!?!
And when u ask them about it, they get all defensive. How come its so hard for guys to realise how much it is worth their while to make an effort here and there?
Not all the time, otherwise it wouldnt be special...and im not saying u would have to celebrate every month of ur anniversary or anything...to me, thats overkill...i have learnt my lesson from the past!
My friend who is a Jehovah's Witness, explained to me why she didnt celebrate occasions anymore, due to her religion of course, but (and i must agree) that you should show ur appreciation and love to the person each and every day.
Why should u wait until Valentine's Day to show ur affection and do something romantic???
I dont think u should wait.
I dont think u should refrain from doing something romantic.
I dont think its fair to just declare that "you dont do that sort of thing, so dont expect it!"
Like wtf?!
Anyways...TBC...if i feel like it!
*bugger*
It invoked the girly girl in me that wants to be swept off her feet. (Recall my Cinderalla-esque longing?)
I watched as Miranda and Steve tied the knot...finding eachother was almost a covert mission, admitting they loved eachother was an even harder task. But they found eachother...
I feel like running in the opposite direction again...metaphorically.
When Carrie told the girls about all the romantic things Alexsandr was doing for her, Miranda gagged. Carrie mentions that in NYC romantic is when a guy gives u his seat on the train. Miranda gives a "here-here" on that note. I actually agree, its sweet when a guy gives u his seat...u tend not to see it happen much these days.
He isnt romantic.
Why arent guys romantic?!??!?!
And when u ask them about it, they get all defensive. How come its so hard for guys to realise how much it is worth their while to make an effort here and there?
Not all the time, otherwise it wouldnt be special...and im not saying u would have to celebrate every month of ur anniversary or anything...to me, thats overkill...i have learnt my lesson from the past!
My friend who is a Jehovah's Witness, explained to me why she didnt celebrate occasions anymore, due to her religion of course, but (and i must agree) that you should show ur appreciation and love to the person each and every day.
Why should u wait until Valentine's Day to show ur affection and do something romantic???
I dont think u should wait.
I dont think u should refrain from doing something romantic.
I dont think its fair to just declare that "you dont do that sort of thing, so dont expect it!"
Like wtf?!
Anyways...TBC...if i feel like it!
*bugger*
Monday, October 18, 2004
21 Days to conquer a challenge...
As we walked along Circular Quay towards Dendy's, we were talking about something comparing ourselves to eachother...
He said to me..."I challenge you..."
But what do i get out of it? There is no point in doing a challenge with no reward or incentive to gain by the end of it.
He thinks.
"I'll do whatever it is that you want us to do!"
Anything?
"Anything!"
After seeing an advert for Cypress Lakes in Hunter Valley while we walked past the "Uncorked" Wine Tasting Event at CQ...it reminded me of the Golden Door Day Spa, in which i have always wanted to go, but never got around to it!
So, if i say i want to go to the Hunter Valley and to the Golden Door Day Spa after i beat ur challenge, will you take me?
"Yes."
So...in 21 days i need to succeed this challenge. It started today...well, i made it official today...
I dont think its a hard task, but i need to keep my motivation up.
I should be able to do it in 21 days so long as there are no external anomalies that will interfere with the situation!
He said to me..."I challenge you..."
But what do i get out of it? There is no point in doing a challenge with no reward or incentive to gain by the end of it.
He thinks.
"I'll do whatever it is that you want us to do!"
Anything?
"Anything!"
After seeing an advert for Cypress Lakes in Hunter Valley while we walked past the "Uncorked" Wine Tasting Event at CQ...it reminded me of the Golden Door Day Spa, in which i have always wanted to go, but never got around to it!
So, if i say i want to go to the Hunter Valley and to the Golden Door Day Spa after i beat ur challenge, will you take me?
"Yes."
So...in 21 days i need to succeed this challenge. It started today...well, i made it official today...
I dont think its a hard task, but i need to keep my motivation up.
I should be able to do it in 21 days so long as there are no external anomalies that will interfere with the situation!
Friday, October 15, 2004
I'm a hypocritical b****!
I dont know why...but i am.
I admit it, because i recognise it.
I cause a lot of grief for other people.
I guess i havent changed all that much after all...
=(
But i was fine, really i was. I dont know what brought it about...i was calm and collected all this time...ehh, okay, had a touch of neurosis here and there...but it was all under wraps. Truly, it was...
*bugger*
Okay, im lying...it wasnt okay, it never was...i must have tricked myself into believing that i was a different person, that i had changed.
Someone more considerate...someone more compassionate...someone more selfless...someone more humble...someone just more better than what i originally was.
I mean, i went on a hiatus of over a year to "improve" myself...you know, re-condition one self...re-program my personality to version 1.3!
Maybe i should re-program myself to 1.4 or undergo some form of re-education like how Communist China re-educated their people almost half a century ago...*ugh*...
I guess its an uphill battle that i just need to keep chugging along with, in attempt to overcome it. But what if i cant change this about me?!
What if all my attempts to modify myself is all in vain, and will basically return fruitless???
=(
I admit it, because i recognise it.
I cause a lot of grief for other people.
I guess i havent changed all that much after all...
=(
But i was fine, really i was. I dont know what brought it about...i was calm and collected all this time...ehh, okay, had a touch of neurosis here and there...but it was all under wraps. Truly, it was...
*bugger*
Okay, im lying...it wasnt okay, it never was...i must have tricked myself into believing that i was a different person, that i had changed.
Someone more considerate...someone more compassionate...someone more selfless...someone more humble...someone just more better than what i originally was.
I mean, i went on a hiatus of over a year to "improve" myself...you know, re-condition one self...re-program my personality to version 1.3!
Maybe i should re-program myself to 1.4 or undergo some form of re-education like how Communist China re-educated their people almost half a century ago...*ugh*...
I guess its an uphill battle that i just need to keep chugging along with, in attempt to overcome it. But what if i cant change this about me?!
What if all my attempts to modify myself is all in vain, and will basically return fruitless???
=(
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Timid wallflower...
Do you recall the scene where Mel Gibson's character in "What women want" hears the thoughts of the girl who does the mail and filing. She is thinking to herself that she makes no impact on anyone's life...that she should just die because there is no reason to live...
I dont think that my workmate is considering suicide...but after all the people around her were made redundant, she is sitting at her table all alone. We need her because she is the only one who knows our database system, inside and out. She's the Systems Analyst and Programmer.
She is a very shy woman and soft spoken too. I know she speaks Cantonese and she is married...but i dont know if she has any children and all those other details (if she does)...like how many, boy or girl, how old are they now, etc?
I noticed she wasnt in yesterday, and this morning when i did see her, i asked if she was away sick the day before?
She asked if i needed her? I normally have issues with my reporting system...and she is the first person i speak to about it.
I didnt have a problem. I told her that i was just wondering if she was okay? =)
I dont think she expected that. That anyone cared whether she was fine or not...well no one from work, that is.
And then she said she had a sore back, maybe from gardening on the weekend...but she was fine now!
It didnt hit me until after, that she is like the mail girl...because of her shyness and her isolated location at work...she could hide and no one would know. After all the people left there is only 3 women from the company left. The receptionist, myself and her, in our building.
I guess she didnt expect me to make a social call, or be concerned about her socially...but i was concerned...
I think i made her feel good inside with my recognition...
=D
I like doing good things without knowing...because it shows that somewhere in there i actually have a heart that is capable of love and compassion...hehehe...
I dont think that my workmate is considering suicide...but after all the people around her were made redundant, she is sitting at her table all alone. We need her because she is the only one who knows our database system, inside and out. She's the Systems Analyst and Programmer.
She is a very shy woman and soft spoken too. I know she speaks Cantonese and she is married...but i dont know if she has any children and all those other details (if she does)...like how many, boy or girl, how old are they now, etc?
I noticed she wasnt in yesterday, and this morning when i did see her, i asked if she was away sick the day before?
She asked if i needed her? I normally have issues with my reporting system...and she is the first person i speak to about it.
I didnt have a problem. I told her that i was just wondering if she was okay? =)
I dont think she expected that. That anyone cared whether she was fine or not...well no one from work, that is.
And then she said she had a sore back, maybe from gardening on the weekend...but she was fine now!
It didnt hit me until after, that she is like the mail girl...because of her shyness and her isolated location at work...she could hide and no one would know. After all the people left there is only 3 women from the company left. The receptionist, myself and her, in our building.
I guess she didnt expect me to make a social call, or be concerned about her socially...but i was concerned...
I think i made her feel good inside with my recognition...
=D
I like doing good things without knowing...because it shows that somewhere in there i actually have a heart that is capable of love and compassion...hehehe...
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Orgasmic conversations...
I once read somewhere...most likely in a Cosmo or Cleo Magazine...that one of the most errogenous zones on a womans body was in fact her brain.
Whether or not that is completely true...or if there is even any factual evidence to back it up, i dont know.
But what i do know, is if a guy can hold a mentally stimulating conversation with me...i find it really attractive and i dare say - sexy & highly erotic.
It has something to do with the signals that get sent to the brain when you are having an enjoyable conversation with someone.
I am amazed at how we can debate on an even playing field...and it is almost like a tennis rally with the way we deliver our comments to eachother, back and forth, returning the ball in eachother's court with better accuracy at each turn.
"Knowledgeable."
I think that is the most perfect word to describe him.
The compliment about my wit. To him, that is my best asset. My personality and my intelligence.
There were times i thought it was a curse to be interested in so many things and be supposedly "intelligent".
Its nice to be appreciated the way u are.
I once said during dinner to him, after saying something without much thought: "I think i should just sit here and bite my tongue from here on in..."
And he said to me: "No, dont do that...i enjoy hearing what u have to say."
I swooned.
I bought him a novel, well Anne Frank's autobiography, because he said in passing one day, that it was one of the books he wanted to read, but hadn't had the chance to get his hands on.
I wrote a quote in on the inside of the cover:
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched ... but are felt in the heart." - Helen Keller
And then i wrote underneath it:
"I think this is what you are trying to help me to comprehend..."
When he read it, he looked a bit taken...i think he was moved that i understood what he meant all this time.
I asked if it was a tad "profound" for him??? hehehehe...
I have come to realise that its not just women who enjoy "orgasmic conversations"...what makes me so attractive in his eyes (and ears) is my ability to have these conversations...during dinner...over coffee...over the phone...etc, with him.
One nite he asked: "So, why are u going out with me?" [In terms of what do u find attractive in me].
I paused.
Not because i didnt know why...i realised why...i just wasnt sure if i should tell him...would it be too much information? would he appreciate the reason?
After my pause and a deep breath, i said to him:
"For a long time, i was only keen on dating older guys...perhaps a guy 10 years my senior...reason being is because i thought that he would be more worldly and knowledgeable...he would have a lot of experiences to share with me...and if he was willing to teach, i was ready to learn.
My interest was to meet someone who would inspire me to learn and experience new things and rediscover the things i once knew...to motivate me in being creative...to captivate me in conversation...to mentally stimulate me in the way i yearn for.
I thought that i would only find it in an older guy...but i guess i've been proven wrong, because all those things i have mentioned, i have found in you.
You have that effect on me, and that is why im going out with you."
He blushed.
It was because of him, i picked up my brushes to paint. I had all these emotions that i didnt quite understand and the only way i could think of expressing my emotions was to paint it.
I like the fact that we have various experiences to share with eachother...but i like it more that there are all these other moments that we can absorb together.
Whether or not that is completely true...or if there is even any factual evidence to back it up, i dont know.
But what i do know, is if a guy can hold a mentally stimulating conversation with me...i find it really attractive and i dare say - sexy & highly erotic.
It has something to do with the signals that get sent to the brain when you are having an enjoyable conversation with someone.
I am amazed at how we can debate on an even playing field...and it is almost like a tennis rally with the way we deliver our comments to eachother, back and forth, returning the ball in eachother's court with better accuracy at each turn.
"Knowledgeable."
I think that is the most perfect word to describe him.
The compliment about my wit. To him, that is my best asset. My personality and my intelligence.
There were times i thought it was a curse to be interested in so many things and be supposedly "intelligent".
Its nice to be appreciated the way u are.
I once said during dinner to him, after saying something without much thought: "I think i should just sit here and bite my tongue from here on in..."
And he said to me: "No, dont do that...i enjoy hearing what u have to say."
I swooned.
I bought him a novel, well Anne Frank's autobiography, because he said in passing one day, that it was one of the books he wanted to read, but hadn't had the chance to get his hands on.
I wrote a quote in on the inside of the cover:
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched ... but are felt in the heart." - Helen Keller
And then i wrote underneath it:
"I think this is what you are trying to help me to comprehend..."
When he read it, he looked a bit taken...i think he was moved that i understood what he meant all this time.
I asked if it was a tad "profound" for him??? hehehehe...
I have come to realise that its not just women who enjoy "orgasmic conversations"...what makes me so attractive in his eyes (and ears) is my ability to have these conversations...during dinner...over coffee...over the phone...etc, with him.
One nite he asked: "So, why are u going out with me?" [In terms of what do u find attractive in me].
I paused.
Not because i didnt know why...i realised why...i just wasnt sure if i should tell him...would it be too much information? would he appreciate the reason?
After my pause and a deep breath, i said to him:
"For a long time, i was only keen on dating older guys...perhaps a guy 10 years my senior...reason being is because i thought that he would be more worldly and knowledgeable...he would have a lot of experiences to share with me...and if he was willing to teach, i was ready to learn.
My interest was to meet someone who would inspire me to learn and experience new things and rediscover the things i once knew...to motivate me in being creative...to captivate me in conversation...to mentally stimulate me in the way i yearn for.
I thought that i would only find it in an older guy...but i guess i've been proven wrong, because all those things i have mentioned, i have found in you.
You have that effect on me, and that is why im going out with you."
He blushed.
It was because of him, i picked up my brushes to paint. I had all these emotions that i didnt quite understand and the only way i could think of expressing my emotions was to paint it.
I like the fact that we have various experiences to share with eachother...but i like it more that there are all these other moments that we can absorb together.
Monday, October 11, 2004
I lack courage...
I terms of relationships, i lack the courage to commit.
I want to...and then again, i dont.
I like my independent little world.
I must admit, im cowardly beginning to walk away because im stricken with fear!
I really need to find the words to express how i truly feel...and then?
There are limitations to what i will allow myself to say.
Somethings need not be shared.
Its not a question of whether i trust you or not.
I just dont think it matters, to have such details known. Have i asked you? No, because i acknowledge that its none of my business...and its probably best that i never ask you. Just because you think you would tell me, if i asked...thats not a supportive argument...i am different to you in that regard.
I dont like divulging every minute detail to you or to anyone. However open i may be. But even the most open person has his/her secrets.
Trust comes with time.
I dont just hand my trust to everyone i meet...i feel that you must earn someone's trust.
Thats not to say that ur not "earning" any of my trust...you just dont have all of it...but if we continue the way we are going, you will have it soon enough.
Please dont pressure me to give u all of me too soon.
The sooner is not always for the better...especially in this case with me.
I know myself enough to face the fact that if this is the direction u want to take, i will be walking away.
I want to...and then again, i dont.
I like my independent little world.
I must admit, im cowardly beginning to walk away because im stricken with fear!
I really need to find the words to express how i truly feel...and then?
There are limitations to what i will allow myself to say.
Somethings need not be shared.
Its not a question of whether i trust you or not.
I just dont think it matters, to have such details known. Have i asked you? No, because i acknowledge that its none of my business...and its probably best that i never ask you. Just because you think you would tell me, if i asked...thats not a supportive argument...i am different to you in that regard.
I dont like divulging every minute detail to you or to anyone. However open i may be. But even the most open person has his/her secrets.
Trust comes with time.
I dont just hand my trust to everyone i meet...i feel that you must earn someone's trust.
Thats not to say that ur not "earning" any of my trust...you just dont have all of it...but if we continue the way we are going, you will have it soon enough.
Please dont pressure me to give u all of me too soon.
The sooner is not always for the better...especially in this case with me.
I know myself enough to face the fact that if this is the direction u want to take, i will be walking away.
Friday, October 08, 2004
The pranksters, part 2...
They called me again on Wednesday nite...
This time both of them are informing me that i happened to hatch a plan to "screw them"...
It seems that both of them are stranded on some island and cant get off the island...
Its apparently "my fault" for organising the ferries or something to stop running...so now they are stuck...and so not only am i overseas stalking them, but im also planning all these screws and they are getting the raw end of the deal!
ahahhahahaha
If only u two knew how busy i was at work (fudgin reports!)...and then how tired i was when i got home from work!
If work wasnt so bad...yes, i would be hatching a grand master plan to screw you both...but then again, the plans never come from me...they always come from E or L...so, im all talk...i wouldnt plan anything even if i had the time!
=P
They didnt call last nite...i think they must have pissed themselves up, after finding out that they were stranded on the island...hahhahaha...
Guys, i know ur reading this while ur in Greece or Turkey...come back safely, and Pedros better be hot!
;p
ahahhahhahaahahhahahahahahaha
This time both of them are informing me that i happened to hatch a plan to "screw them"...
It seems that both of them are stranded on some island and cant get off the island...
Its apparently "my fault" for organising the ferries or something to stop running...so now they are stuck...and so not only am i overseas stalking them, but im also planning all these screws and they are getting the raw end of the deal!
ahahhahahaha
If only u two knew how busy i was at work (fudgin reports!)...and then how tired i was when i got home from work!
If work wasnt so bad...yes, i would be hatching a grand master plan to screw you both...but then again, the plans never come from me...they always come from E or L...so, im all talk...i wouldnt plan anything even if i had the time!
=P
They didnt call last nite...i think they must have pissed themselves up, after finding out that they were stranded on the island...hahhahaha...
Guys, i know ur reading this while ur in Greece or Turkey...come back safely, and Pedros better be hot!
;p
ahahhahhahaahahhahahahahahaha
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
The pranksters...
E sms'd me to remind me about Pedros last nite...the hot stud that cant wait to meet me...or so E says...
I'm starting to think that they are having a go at me...it wouldnt be the first time, mind you...and i have known them for years...
I still recall vividly, how gullable i was in believing that the both of them were arrested for filming without a permit and having alcohol on the premises of the national park in which they were filming, after hours!
It was during the time in which Punk'd was the hottest craze on tv...well they thought it was a hilarious show...and basically the idea was to have my ass Punk'd! Although, their version is "You've been screwed!"
So, they called me up in the middle of the nite, L is crying over the phone...mind u this girl can seriously switch on the crocodile tears and convince anyone that her beloved was about to die!
She informs me that both of them were arrested and needed bail money...im there on the phone asking if she has told her parents or not, and she starts sobbing even more and says "no..." and then she informs me the amount they need for the bail, where the police station is...
I got off the phone and called M for back up and im almost leaving my house when they call back to say that i just got completely screwed over by them!
I was fuming at this point! But then again, looking back...it was hilarious...ahahaha...
Today, im at work...its about 09:15...and i get a call on my mobile. Once again, the number is "withheld"...and my guess is that its either E or L.
This time it was L. I knew because it was a female voice and she said her trade mark line "I want ur titties!!!!" and then she hung up...
They are returning on the 13th October...I have 7 more days of them pranking me from Europe!
I'm starting to think that they are having a go at me...it wouldnt be the first time, mind you...and i have known them for years...
I still recall vividly, how gullable i was in believing that the both of them were arrested for filming without a permit and having alcohol on the premises of the national park in which they were filming, after hours!
It was during the time in which Punk'd was the hottest craze on tv...well they thought it was a hilarious show...and basically the idea was to have my ass Punk'd! Although, their version is "You've been screwed!"
So, they called me up in the middle of the nite, L is crying over the phone...mind u this girl can seriously switch on the crocodile tears and convince anyone that her beloved was about to die!
She informs me that both of them were arrested and needed bail money...im there on the phone asking if she has told her parents or not, and she starts sobbing even more and says "no..." and then she informs me the amount they need for the bail, where the police station is...
I got off the phone and called M for back up and im almost leaving my house when they call back to say that i just got completely screwed over by them!
I was fuming at this point! But then again, looking back...it was hilarious...ahahaha...
Today, im at work...its about 09:15...and i get a call on my mobile. Once again, the number is "withheld"...and my guess is that its either E or L.
This time it was L. I knew because it was a female voice and she said her trade mark line "I want ur titties!!!!" and then she hung up...
They are returning on the 13th October...I have 7 more days of them pranking me from Europe!
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
My long weekend of R&R...
Thursday: Brilliant...who would have guessed that i would sit at Parramatta Library reading a book that i had bought on the day for 20 cents, from 10:30 am to 1:00 pm? The book was on the Sociology of the Renaissance by an Alfred Von Martin. If only i had the motivation to read my texts in uni like i did that day!
My full body massage was much needed and i felt wonderful afterwards...the tension in my neck and shoulders were kneeded out...mmm...
Since i havent been shopping for a lonnnnggggggg while, i ended up spending a storm.
I bought 3 pairs of trousers (but all 3 in total was under $100 - so it was a bargain anyways)...3 tops (but all together, they were under $150)...i bought some oil paints, in which i got a discount, because the girls working at the art store had priced it incorrectly...hehehehe...if the pair of shoes i tried on came in my size...that would have been another $100 down the drain, or should i say invested wisely? [Are u proud of me Riss?]
*LoL*
Then i had dinner with him...which was nice...
=)
I missed a call from E & L...but they left the most funniest voicemail msg...but thats typical of them! They were apparently at the markets or shopping somewhere in Turkey and they happened to come across some porn. It seems that the porn star, looks remarkably like Cherry. So, Cherry is a porn star in Turkey...not that E & L were buying any porn in Turkey! =P
Friday: I bummed around the house all day...since it was raining cats and dogs, i enjoyed it thoroughly. But i was hoping that the rain would subside, because i had to head out to the city in the evening for Natalie Cole's concert!
Dinner was cool in terms of cheap eats in the city. Went to Soup Plus and although a tad dark, i enjoyed it...maybe it was the company too! hehehe
The concert was brilliant...Natalie Cole is dazzling, physically! And her singing was spectacular! Highlight of the nite was when she did the duet of Unforgettable with her father - Nat King Cole. It was breath taking for her to sing one of my favourite songs.
And i appreciated the fact that she sung more upbeat songs during the evening, instead of ballads...
It was cute when she sang one of the ultimate love songs and M grabbed my arm, because she knew that she had found her "wedding song" (when the day comes)...and it was a really beautiful song! Now, if M didnt declare and made first dibs i would have made it my song! *RofL* j/k
=P
I wasnt going to mention it, but as i was writing this i read M's blog and realised that she wrote a whole post on the car accident...I wished i offered more comfort to her while we were there, all i ended up doing was bringing her jacket to her while she was exchanging details with the other driver cos it was freezing cold outside.
Im grateful that M was physically fine, because any physical harm would be longer to mend and the accident was on the driver's side.
=(
E and L called and left another message in my voicemail. They think im overseas stalking them and terrorising Turkey or something...apparently they saw an ambulance and that reminded them of me! *awww shucks* ahahaha...i think its a sign that they are getting homesick...
and btw...i wasnt asleep at 11:30pm on a Friday nite...my fone was on silent, because of the concert so i didnt hear ur call!
Saturday: Shopping with Mum and grilled Dad about panel beaters and stuff for M, he told me of an inexpensive guy he knew that did an ok job. Drove home and stopped at M's place to give her some hopeful news.
Then i went to see the Celestial Silks at AGMSW with him. We saw some of the most beautiful robes...an old caucasian lady was speaking to me in regards to one of the robes that had gold threads sewn on it...she thanked me for my ancestory...it made me feel proud...hehehehe...how silly of me!
I was a bit peeved at him for a number of things throughout the day...but as the day progressed, we resolved our differences. I should be less independent in these situations. Because of my strong sense of fixing things on my own, which i dont think quite works in a relationship involving two people...it has a negative effect on us.
I think its time to let my barriers go down.
Sunday: I really bummed at home! hehehehe Read the paper and then started to paint, using my oils...i got inspired when i watched this documentary on Cate Blanchett.
I was on the phone a lot with him...between all the documentaries i was watching...
I realised after painting a section of my canvas in black, that i forgot to get a solvent to clean my brushes! grrr...i had to improvise with some shampoos! Then i just stopped painting...bugger!
I realised during the many phonecalls with him, that he is what i was looking for, for a very long time! (M knows what im talking about, we discussed this a few times previously).
I watched Idol and was really impressed with most performances...notably Ricky Lee, Anthony and Casey's performances.
Monday: More shopping, but with Mum this time and she spent more than i did today! *LoL* I went to pick up my peach halter from Zero...i had put it on layby so they would send my size from another store over.
Then Mum wanted to shop for my lil bro and get him some new clothes...she bought him a pink Mooks tee, which he thinks is too big on him, although, i think its just right...what a luvo!?!
When we got home, it was like perfect timing...my neices came over. Chloe rode her bike with Aimee in the baby chair at the back with an umbrella up to cover her! hehehehe they are soo cute...i happened to be on the phone with him when i was watching them ride home on the bike...and when i told him about it, he chuckled and said "how cute!"
It warms me to know that he has that softer side...
Tuesday: The only reason why im writing about the day back to work, is really for what happened this morning.
I got a "withheld" mobile phone call at 06:00 Hrs EST.
I wake up, wondering who in the world is pranking me, because the moment i picked up the call and said "hello?", they hung up on me.
15 minutes later, another "withheld" call came through, this time im welcomed with a loud "Cherryyyyyyyyyyyyyy! How are you?"
I recognised E's voice, and i heard L laughing in the background.
I must admit, its nice to know that the two of them are thinking of me while they are in Greece! Its even nicer of them to pick up a hot/cute (apparently) european guy and will be bringing him back to Sydney for me! [Its my present...i think!]
His name is Pedros...and according to E, he is hot...and although it sounds enticing...i had to break it to E that "i dont think my bf would be happy to hear that u are bringing a guy back for me as a present!"
E advised me that Pedros could be my guy on the side! ahahhahaaha...
And it was even sweeter to know that although E was far away in Greece, he thought i sounded sick and was actually concerned...but trust me, im not sick...i just sound awful in the mornings! *LoL*
hmm...i wonder if the concern is more because E & L are fast approaching their return to Sydney and E feels inspired to film...he is probably more concerned that his star psycho wont be 100% fit to do some crazy stunts! hehehhehe...than my actual health...but even if that was the case, it was still nice to hear a concerned friend over the fone at 06:15 am in the morning asking if i was alright!
;p
My full body massage was much needed and i felt wonderful afterwards...the tension in my neck and shoulders were kneeded out...mmm...
Since i havent been shopping for a lonnnnggggggg while, i ended up spending a storm.
I bought 3 pairs of trousers (but all 3 in total was under $100 - so it was a bargain anyways)...3 tops (but all together, they were under $150)...i bought some oil paints, in which i got a discount, because the girls working at the art store had priced it incorrectly...hehehehe...if the pair of shoes i tried on came in my size...that would have been another $100 down the drain, or should i say invested wisely? [Are u proud of me Riss?]
*LoL*
Then i had dinner with him...which was nice...
=)
I missed a call from E & L...but they left the most funniest voicemail msg...but thats typical of them! They were apparently at the markets or shopping somewhere in Turkey and they happened to come across some porn. It seems that the porn star, looks remarkably like Cherry. So, Cherry is a porn star in Turkey...not that E & L were buying any porn in Turkey! =P
Friday: I bummed around the house all day...since it was raining cats and dogs, i enjoyed it thoroughly. But i was hoping that the rain would subside, because i had to head out to the city in the evening for Natalie Cole's concert!
Dinner was cool in terms of cheap eats in the city. Went to Soup Plus and although a tad dark, i enjoyed it...maybe it was the company too! hehehe
The concert was brilliant...Natalie Cole is dazzling, physically! And her singing was spectacular! Highlight of the nite was when she did the duet of Unforgettable with her father - Nat King Cole. It was breath taking for her to sing one of my favourite songs.
And i appreciated the fact that she sung more upbeat songs during the evening, instead of ballads...
It was cute when she sang one of the ultimate love songs and M grabbed my arm, because she knew that she had found her "wedding song" (when the day comes)...and it was a really beautiful song! Now, if M didnt declare and made first dibs i would have made it my song! *RofL* j/k
=P
I wasnt going to mention it, but as i was writing this i read M's blog and realised that she wrote a whole post on the car accident...I wished i offered more comfort to her while we were there, all i ended up doing was bringing her jacket to her while she was exchanging details with the other driver cos it was freezing cold outside.
Im grateful that M was physically fine, because any physical harm would be longer to mend and the accident was on the driver's side.
=(
E and L called and left another message in my voicemail. They think im overseas stalking them and terrorising Turkey or something...apparently they saw an ambulance and that reminded them of me! *awww shucks* ahahaha...i think its a sign that they are getting homesick...
and btw...i wasnt asleep at 11:30pm on a Friday nite...my fone was on silent, because of the concert so i didnt hear ur call!
Saturday: Shopping with Mum and grilled Dad about panel beaters and stuff for M, he told me of an inexpensive guy he knew that did an ok job. Drove home and stopped at M's place to give her some hopeful news.
Then i went to see the Celestial Silks at AGMSW with him. We saw some of the most beautiful robes...an old caucasian lady was speaking to me in regards to one of the robes that had gold threads sewn on it...she thanked me for my ancestory...it made me feel proud...hehehehe...how silly of me!
I was a bit peeved at him for a number of things throughout the day...but as the day progressed, we resolved our differences. I should be less independent in these situations. Because of my strong sense of fixing things on my own, which i dont think quite works in a relationship involving two people...it has a negative effect on us.
I think its time to let my barriers go down.
Sunday: I really bummed at home! hehehehe Read the paper and then started to paint, using my oils...i got inspired when i watched this documentary on Cate Blanchett.
I was on the phone a lot with him...between all the documentaries i was watching...
I realised after painting a section of my canvas in black, that i forgot to get a solvent to clean my brushes! grrr...i had to improvise with some shampoos! Then i just stopped painting...bugger!
I realised during the many phonecalls with him, that he is what i was looking for, for a very long time! (M knows what im talking about, we discussed this a few times previously).
I watched Idol and was really impressed with most performances...notably Ricky Lee, Anthony and Casey's performances.
Monday: More shopping, but with Mum this time and she spent more than i did today! *LoL* I went to pick up my peach halter from Zero...i had put it on layby so they would send my size from another store over.
Then Mum wanted to shop for my lil bro and get him some new clothes...she bought him a pink Mooks tee, which he thinks is too big on him, although, i think its just right...what a luvo!?!
When we got home, it was like perfect timing...my neices came over. Chloe rode her bike with Aimee in the baby chair at the back with an umbrella up to cover her! hehehehe they are soo cute...i happened to be on the phone with him when i was watching them ride home on the bike...and when i told him about it, he chuckled and said "how cute!"
It warms me to know that he has that softer side...
Tuesday: The only reason why im writing about the day back to work, is really for what happened this morning.
I got a "withheld" mobile phone call at 06:00 Hrs EST.
I wake up, wondering who in the world is pranking me, because the moment i picked up the call and said "hello?", they hung up on me.
15 minutes later, another "withheld" call came through, this time im welcomed with a loud "Cherryyyyyyyyyyyyyy! How are you?"
I recognised E's voice, and i heard L laughing in the background.
I must admit, its nice to know that the two of them are thinking of me while they are in Greece! Its even nicer of them to pick up a hot/cute (apparently) european guy and will be bringing him back to Sydney for me! [Its my present...i think!]
His name is Pedros...and according to E, he is hot...and although it sounds enticing...i had to break it to E that "i dont think my bf would be happy to hear that u are bringing a guy back for me as a present!"
E advised me that Pedros could be my guy on the side! ahahhahaaha...
And it was even sweeter to know that although E was far away in Greece, he thought i sounded sick and was actually concerned...but trust me, im not sick...i just sound awful in the mornings! *LoL*
hmm...i wonder if the concern is more because E & L are fast approaching their return to Sydney and E feels inspired to film...he is probably more concerned that his star psycho wont be 100% fit to do some crazy stunts! hehehhehe...than my actual health...but even if that was the case, it was still nice to hear a concerned friend over the fone at 06:15 am in the morning asking if i was alright!
;p
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
Extended Long Weekend...
I'm taking Thursday & Friday off work.
I need to recuperate.
I need time to get back on the gym routine.
I need time to sleep.
I want to be a vegetable at home for a bit.
Thursday, I think i might go get a massage and pamper myself. Go shopping and spend some dosh.
Friday nite, is reserved for Natalie Cole. State Theatre. I'm getting revved and ready to be dazzled. What do i wear? *LoL*
Saturday, finally i'll go to the Celestial Silks at AGNSW, spend the day with him. Maybe i can convince him to watch Vanity Fair or Twilight Samurai with me.
Sunday, i'll catch up with some high school friends. Going to visit Kat at her new home. Need to get her a house warming present.
Monday, sleep. Sleep some more. Bludge. Finish reading my book. If i have time, paint.
Tuesday, drag my butt back to work. Reporting. *ugh*
I need to recuperate.
I need time to get back on the gym routine.
I need time to sleep.
I want to be a vegetable at home for a bit.
Thursday, I think i might go get a massage and pamper myself. Go shopping and spend some dosh.
Friday nite, is reserved for Natalie Cole. State Theatre. I'm getting revved and ready to be dazzled. What do i wear? *LoL*
Saturday, finally i'll go to the Celestial Silks at AGNSW, spend the day with him. Maybe i can convince him to watch Vanity Fair or Twilight Samurai with me.
Sunday, i'll catch up with some high school friends. Going to visit Kat at her new home. Need to get her a house warming present.
Monday, sleep. Sleep some more. Bludge. Finish reading my book. If i have time, paint.
Tuesday, drag my butt back to work. Reporting. *ugh*
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
"petals.c" - Version 1.3
Okay, here comes the geeky programmer in me...making her way out into the world!
I was speaking to my friend David...one of the many in this world...but this David is different. Unlike all the Davids of this world or in my life...this David is straight-forward with me, without being harsh...
This David is considerate...the type of friend you can rely on...the person who will be objective without putting you down.
On the phone with him, during my lunch break, he mentioned to me that i have changed.
I was asking him how sure is he? There was a 3 year period of not speaking to eachother because we all went in opposite directions...
He said, i've changed a lot in comparison to when i was in highschool.
When i finished highschool, I had made a conscious decision to change myself...especially since i was going to uni and that i was going to be around various people from all walks of life.
If we just compare my music taste...that, itself has transformed quite a lot...
I use to love rnb...especially ballads...i went through a phase of liking bubblegum pop...i use to be a raver (not that many would have guessed)...i use to hate anything alternate...but now, my taste in music is so diverse.
its not that i hate those different genres for a particular reason...it just didnt appeal to me before. i enjoy some of it now...depending on the artist or how the music affects me, etc...
Okay, lets just move right along...I am an ultra demanding person! I dont lie about it, i openly admit it. The reason why i openly admit it is because im actively trying to change it.
I think although i may not be the most patient person, i am much better at waiting a little bit longer than usual before i start to worry. For instance, i use to worry if someone who said they were going to pick me up at 8pm and didnt turn up until 8:10pm...i would have freaked out for those 10 minutes.
Now, i give the person 15 minutes extra...what i refer to as "traffic time".
I cant help that im prompt...so im usually on time...and if i happen to be late, i'll call or sms if i cant call the person so they wont have to worry while they wait.
He managed to be late and my patience wore thin! I gave him 20 minute to arrive...although he said he would meet me at 1-ish. For some reason he thinks 1-ish means that he can arrive any time after 1pm...so it was okay that he turned up at 1:45pm.
*i dont think so*
1:45pm is more like "1:30-ish + i got held up in traffic...im sorry".
Initially, he didnt apologise...until i threw a hissy-fit and debated with him the concept of time and being late...he wasnt just reasonably late due to traffic...he chose to leave home late, without calling to give me pre-warning!
See, to me...that is wrong, and no matter how petals Ver 1.3 has evolved...she still isnt going to tolerate such behaviour!
Physically, petals Ver 1.3 has changed a bundle too...
David pointed it out to me as well...initially he was afraid to tell me so...because he was worried that petals Ver 1.0 would have told him off and be offended by his remark. But then he realised that since he was talking to petals Ver 1.3 he relaxed and continued to tell it like it is! hehheee
As petals Ver 1.0, i could not run. I was afraid of running, because my asthma hampered my ability to do so and i was always concerned about asthma attacks. But when petals Ver 1.1 decided to increase her fitness level, i started to pursue the idea of conquering the run!
The years have passed and petals Ver 1.3 likes running (if you remember my declaration of undying love to the treadmill! ahahahaa)
I recall petals Ver 1.0 being an utterly selfish b*itch...and thats the honest truth...hehehe*embarassing to say*hehehe...i was...*hangs head in shame*...
David said that he feels that im a much more considerate person today...every day, to everyone...while previously, like in petals Ver 1.0, i would be nice and considerate, but only to people i chose.
In some ways, he is right...i was considerate only to whom i thought deserved it...the others could go jump as far as i was concerned. I think he just didnt know me too well back then to judge on this matter...because all of my friends would say that i was considerate to others...but then again, they are my friends and i would be considerate to them.
petals Ver 1.3 is just more considerate to others in the greater world and in some ways, she is trying to be considerate to the world. Sometimes, i think i should modify petals Ver 1.3 from being too considerate, because she is almost a door mat at the front of the house.
ahahahhahaa but then again, my temperament is still quite fiesty...im just learning to hold my tongue more. and think. and then speak!
petals Ver 1.3 is also more carefree. petals Ver 1.0 - 1.2 were quite serious versions of me. I mean, im still serious when it matters...and im silly most of the time, but i guess that intense look that i have is still there within all versions of petals...only the right people bring it out! ahahahah...and He has felt the look.
petals Ver 1.3 has missed E. Previously, E and L were the ones designing the next screw...but whilst E has been away, petals Ver 1.3 has been hatching her own...all playful, well, so she thinks! *LoL* Lets see if they amount to anything in the near future...like on the drinks nite when E returns from Europe..."Cherry the Kidney Slayer" is suppose to organise a big drink fest. Now, lets see how screwed everyone will be! muahauahauhauhua
yeah, its all fun and games!
;)
i'll update you in the future of the further developments of petals Ver 1.3 or there may be a Ver 1.4, who knows...
I was speaking to my friend David...one of the many in this world...but this David is different. Unlike all the Davids of this world or in my life...this David is straight-forward with me, without being harsh...
This David is considerate...the type of friend you can rely on...the person who will be objective without putting you down.
On the phone with him, during my lunch break, he mentioned to me that i have changed.
I was asking him how sure is he? There was a 3 year period of not speaking to eachother because we all went in opposite directions...
He said, i've changed a lot in comparison to when i was in highschool.
When i finished highschool, I had made a conscious decision to change myself...especially since i was going to uni and that i was going to be around various people from all walks of life.
If we just compare my music taste...that, itself has transformed quite a lot...
I use to love rnb...especially ballads...i went through a phase of liking bubblegum pop...i use to be a raver (not that many would have guessed)...i use to hate anything alternate...but now, my taste in music is so diverse.
its not that i hate those different genres for a particular reason...it just didnt appeal to me before. i enjoy some of it now...depending on the artist or how the music affects me, etc...
Okay, lets just move right along...I am an ultra demanding person! I dont lie about it, i openly admit it. The reason why i openly admit it is because im actively trying to change it.
I think although i may not be the most patient person, i am much better at waiting a little bit longer than usual before i start to worry. For instance, i use to worry if someone who said they were going to pick me up at 8pm and didnt turn up until 8:10pm...i would have freaked out for those 10 minutes.
Now, i give the person 15 minutes extra...what i refer to as "traffic time".
I cant help that im prompt...so im usually on time...and if i happen to be late, i'll call or sms if i cant call the person so they wont have to worry while they wait.
He managed to be late and my patience wore thin! I gave him 20 minute to arrive...although he said he would meet me at 1-ish. For some reason he thinks 1-ish means that he can arrive any time after 1pm...so it was okay that he turned up at 1:45pm.
*i dont think so*
1:45pm is more like "1:30-ish + i got held up in traffic...im sorry".
Initially, he didnt apologise...until i threw a hissy-fit and debated with him the concept of time and being late...he wasnt just reasonably late due to traffic...he chose to leave home late, without calling to give me pre-warning!
See, to me...that is wrong, and no matter how petals Ver 1.3 has evolved...she still isnt going to tolerate such behaviour!
Physically, petals Ver 1.3 has changed a bundle too...
David pointed it out to me as well...initially he was afraid to tell me so...because he was worried that petals Ver 1.0 would have told him off and be offended by his remark. But then he realised that since he was talking to petals Ver 1.3 he relaxed and continued to tell it like it is! hehheee
As petals Ver 1.0, i could not run. I was afraid of running, because my asthma hampered my ability to do so and i was always concerned about asthma attacks. But when petals Ver 1.1 decided to increase her fitness level, i started to pursue the idea of conquering the run!
The years have passed and petals Ver 1.3 likes running (if you remember my declaration of undying love to the treadmill! ahahahaa)
I recall petals Ver 1.0 being an utterly selfish b*itch...and thats the honest truth...hehehe*embarassing to say*hehehe...i was...*hangs head in shame*...
David said that he feels that im a much more considerate person today...every day, to everyone...while previously, like in petals Ver 1.0, i would be nice and considerate, but only to people i chose.
In some ways, he is right...i was considerate only to whom i thought deserved it...the others could go jump as far as i was concerned. I think he just didnt know me too well back then to judge on this matter...because all of my friends would say that i was considerate to others...but then again, they are my friends and i would be considerate to them.
petals Ver 1.3 is just more considerate to others in the greater world and in some ways, she is trying to be considerate to the world. Sometimes, i think i should modify petals Ver 1.3 from being too considerate, because she is almost a door mat at the front of the house.
ahahahhahaa but then again, my temperament is still quite fiesty...im just learning to hold my tongue more. and think. and then speak!
petals Ver 1.3 is also more carefree. petals Ver 1.0 - 1.2 were quite serious versions of me. I mean, im still serious when it matters...and im silly most of the time, but i guess that intense look that i have is still there within all versions of petals...only the right people bring it out! ahahahah...and He has felt the look.
petals Ver 1.3 has missed E. Previously, E and L were the ones designing the next screw...but whilst E has been away, petals Ver 1.3 has been hatching her own...all playful, well, so she thinks! *LoL* Lets see if they amount to anything in the near future...like on the drinks nite when E returns from Europe..."Cherry the Kidney Slayer" is suppose to organise a big drink fest. Now, lets see how screwed everyone will be! muahauahauhauhua
yeah, its all fun and games!
;)
i'll update you in the future of the further developments of petals Ver 1.3 or there may be a Ver 1.4, who knows...
Monday, September 27, 2004
petals gone M.I.A.
Where did i go?
What did i do?
What had happened to you?
Where did my daily dose of something to laugh at go?
If you thought any of these questions sometime last week, wondering when the next post would be after "Mr Charming"...then my apologies for going Missing In Action for the last 3 working days.
I was...how can i diplomatically say this without conveying or painting any pictures?
Hmm...lets just say i was violently ill for over 60 hours...starting from late Wednesday nite and finally subsiding on Saturday morning. I started with a very high fever that lingered through the Thursday and Friday, finally disappearing on Saturday. There were other things in between...but thats about it.
It was an episode reminiscent of my food poisoning this time last year...i hope it stops here and now...because i really dont want an annual thing occuring!
Due to the time i had on my hands, from taking sick days off work...i obviously had the luxury to think and contemplate...
Its ironic, the first time i take off 2 days and it was spent with my worrying about when i was going to be admitted in to the hospital. Then, i thought about going to the hospital and it being my first vacation off work! And i actually got excited!
I recalled the time when i was really young, what i loved about Spring was all the little red roses from Mum's rose bush that would pop out and cover our white gate...all along the front of it. It was very pretty. But since were going through a drought, there very few roses this Spring. Little girls who went to school would pick them, and Mum didnt mind that, because she knew they appreciated it.
When my older brother just started kindy, he use to pick flowers from other people's gardens on the way home from school. I hope the home owners didnt mind, since it was for Mum. He use to come home with a rose or a carnation, actually...any flower he thought was pretty...and he would give it to her. This was when we still lived in Strathfield and Mum didnt have the garden she has now.
I wish i felt fulfilled with something simple like a garden.
I found a pair of Alannah Hill earrings i bought in Melbourne at a Sale early this year. Some beads were missing so they were mega cheap and i thought i could fix them up. I have the tigertail and the crimps, so it was really a non-issue.
I whipped them out to re-do...and i just thought about how i started on this escapade of making earrings and then i stopped...maybe i should start up again? But, then what do i do about my painting...and then all those spools of cotton to do the tatting...and what about all those fabric paints i bought to do some funky singlets?!
I was talking to my ex. He said he wished he had a talent, as guys with talents get the girls. I said "go get one". He looked at me like, "are u an idiot?" and said "you cant just get a talent, ur usually born with it!" Sorry, but i think u could pick up something and make it a "talent".
Like playing an instrument...you could always put down as part of ur hobby as playing the guitar...even if it started with lessons! and i dont think u would have to be brilliant at it and making money from it, to be able to say that its one of your talents. but if u can play a couple of songs really well...thats impressive enough...which is something u can learn...and is something that happens with practice...
Btw, i had a geeky post ready for last Wednesday, but i left work early and didnt end up completing it...so, i guess i will save that draft for the next time it pops into my head again!
What did i do?
What had happened to you?
Where did my daily dose of something to laugh at go?
If you thought any of these questions sometime last week, wondering when the next post would be after "Mr Charming"...then my apologies for going Missing In Action for the last 3 working days.
I was...how can i diplomatically say this without conveying or painting any pictures?
Hmm...lets just say i was violently ill for over 60 hours...starting from late Wednesday nite and finally subsiding on Saturday morning. I started with a very high fever that lingered through the Thursday and Friday, finally disappearing on Saturday. There were other things in between...but thats about it.
It was an episode reminiscent of my food poisoning this time last year...i hope it stops here and now...because i really dont want an annual thing occuring!
Due to the time i had on my hands, from taking sick days off work...i obviously had the luxury to think and contemplate...
Its ironic, the first time i take off 2 days and it was spent with my worrying about when i was going to be admitted in to the hospital. Then, i thought about going to the hospital and it being my first vacation off work! And i actually got excited!
I recalled the time when i was really young, what i loved about Spring was all the little red roses from Mum's rose bush that would pop out and cover our white gate...all along the front of it. It was very pretty. But since were going through a drought, there very few roses this Spring. Little girls who went to school would pick them, and Mum didnt mind that, because she knew they appreciated it.
When my older brother just started kindy, he use to pick flowers from other people's gardens on the way home from school. I hope the home owners didnt mind, since it was for Mum. He use to come home with a rose or a carnation, actually...any flower he thought was pretty...and he would give it to her. This was when we still lived in Strathfield and Mum didnt have the garden she has now.
I wish i felt fulfilled with something simple like a garden.
I found a pair of Alannah Hill earrings i bought in Melbourne at a Sale early this year. Some beads were missing so they were mega cheap and i thought i could fix them up. I have the tigertail and the crimps, so it was really a non-issue.
I whipped them out to re-do...and i just thought about how i started on this escapade of making earrings and then i stopped...maybe i should start up again? But, then what do i do about my painting...and then all those spools of cotton to do the tatting...and what about all those fabric paints i bought to do some funky singlets?!
I was talking to my ex. He said he wished he had a talent, as guys with talents get the girls. I said "go get one". He looked at me like, "are u an idiot?" and said "you cant just get a talent, ur usually born with it!" Sorry, but i think u could pick up something and make it a "talent".
Like playing an instrument...you could always put down as part of ur hobby as playing the guitar...even if it started with lessons! and i dont think u would have to be brilliant at it and making money from it, to be able to say that its one of your talents. but if u can play a couple of songs really well...thats impressive enough...which is something u can learn...and is something that happens with practice...
Btw, i had a geeky post ready for last Wednesday, but i left work early and didnt end up completing it...so, i guess i will save that draft for the next time it pops into my head again!
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
Mr Charming...
I'm worried...im surrounded by charming guys...
I went to get my lunch and i didn't see Cheeky Salad Guy...Until my name was called out and i went to pay for it...
He was sitting on the side talking to a girl...either he was interviewing her for a job...or he was being interviewed by her...for i dont know what...but it looked like an interview...
As i left the store...he beemed his glorious smile and gave me a wink!
*my knees went weak*
What is wrong with me??? Im consistantly being suckered with the charms of one guy or another...
He explained to me last nite, why he likes to call me right before i fall asleep...
(1) So he can say "good nite" to me...&
(2) My voice will be the last thing he hears before he goes to sleep...
*sigh*
I went to get my lunch and i didn't see Cheeky Salad Guy...Until my name was called out and i went to pay for it...
He was sitting on the side talking to a girl...either he was interviewing her for a job...or he was being interviewed by her...for i dont know what...but it looked like an interview...
As i left the store...he beemed his glorious smile and gave me a wink!
*my knees went weak*
What is wrong with me??? Im consistantly being suckered with the charms of one guy or another...
He explained to me last nite, why he likes to call me right before i fall asleep...
(1) So he can say "good nite" to me...&
(2) My voice will be the last thing he hears before he goes to sleep...
*sigh*
Less Talk, More Action...
I think too much...
I talk awfully too much...
What i need to do more of, is to just do.
I rarely take much action, because after talking to myself, or my logical train of thought...they convince me otherwise...i procrastinate and sit quietly patting myself on the back for avoiding conflict or the possibility of getting hurt.
Vulnerability is a sign of weakness, but there is a catch!
If you do not take the chance and make urself vulnerable, then the chance to be happy can slip right by.
I seem well collected...i seem confident...but i fear within my guilded cage that i superimposed on myself.
I dont like vulnerability being part of my vocabulary...i much rather the words: sane, together, calm, secure...
Security...thats the key!
But how do u achieve that sense of security? By going out there and overcoming ur fears!
And when i try to overcome my fears, i become the most neurotic insane person that keeps falling apart...grr...i keep falling off the horse...how painful!
But i will try again...and this time around, exposing my vulnerability...i hope that it wont be taken for granted!
I talk awfully too much...
What i need to do more of, is to just do.
I rarely take much action, because after talking to myself, or my logical train of thought...they convince me otherwise...i procrastinate and sit quietly patting myself on the back for avoiding conflict or the possibility of getting hurt.
Vulnerability is a sign of weakness, but there is a catch!
If you do not take the chance and make urself vulnerable, then the chance to be happy can slip right by.
I seem well collected...i seem confident...but i fear within my guilded cage that i superimposed on myself.
I dont like vulnerability being part of my vocabulary...i much rather the words: sane, together, calm, secure...
Security...thats the key!
But how do u achieve that sense of security? By going out there and overcoming ur fears!
And when i try to overcome my fears, i become the most neurotic insane person that keeps falling apart...grr...i keep falling off the horse...how painful!
But i will try again...and this time around, exposing my vulnerability...i hope that it wont be taken for granted!
Monday, September 20, 2004
Progressive means...
Friday: I farewelled my friend who was departing on Sunday to jet off to Japan. Met him at Bungalow 8 and was introduced to some of the most gorgeous, successful women i have ever encountered!
Initially, i was utterly jealous that there were women of this calibre out there...but then, ironically, i didnt feel so bad about myself later...not being that pretty or as high achievers as those girls were...Riss, Vicki and i were just flabbergasted! It was like *phwoar* and that was all that escaped our mouths...
And its not that they were just beautiful and successful...they were friendly too! One of the girls...the prettiest in my opinion...she runs her own bridal salon in Annandale and her dresses are worn on Home & Away...and she is my age! *like wow!*
Saturday: The wedding ceremony at the Church was short and sweet...i sat there listening to the Reverand's sermon and when he was speaking to the bride and groom about the sanctity of marriage...i sat there considering changing religions...
I observed how the Christian men treated their women...and to me, it was really beautiful to see that there were men capable of treating their women so...
I also noticed the number of average looking women partnered with really attractive men, and yet those men adored their partners...that was another thing that spurned the thought of a change in religion! *RofL*
I sat there pondering about the Church, in particular this one...my workmates who were friends since uni days, were very happy there...and they found their respective partners from Church.
I told Riss that maybe i should change religions...although, God may not favour my hidden intentions! *RofL*
And then i thought about the fact that i wasnt too keen for marriage...so changing religions is a silly notion, especially, if its only to meet guys! ahhahaahhaha
The highlight of the ceremony, was when the Reverand (a Chinese man) was trying to pronounce "oxymoron"...but when he said it, he kept repeating "Aussie-moron"...all the people in the congregation were laughing...
Sunday: I watched the new Australian movie that was chosen to be shown at the Cannes Film Fest - Somersault. Its pace is like that of Lost in Translation...but it has a more hard-hitting punch to it. Well, thats what i felt...
I was inclined to watch Love me if you dare, because i really wanted to watch a French flick...i just felt like it. But my friend was adamant in watching Somersault...and now, im greatful that we did.
I must be prudish or something, or it may be my naiveity...but the things that were being shown in the movie...it really stunned me.
Yes, im the one who watched Irreversible (shock factor was quite high), but Somersault really made me squirm...i think its more due to the fact that the leading character, Heidi, played by Abbie Cornish, effectively portrays a 16 y/o girl who is confused...the things she does for some affection...her fears on being lonely...
I dont drink alcohol...i never drank as a teen or had been completely trashed from it, or from drugs...so, i dont quite know how it feels to be in that state. I cant empathise with the main character...i think she was acting awfully foolish to be honest...
What makes me squirm is the fact that she is very young...and there are many young girls out there experimenting...and probably experimenting with as much alcohol, drugs and with sex...like the main character.
It was suppose to be a "real" portrayal...but since my life as a teen was quite subdued and innocent...i can only assume and be afraid that one day my neices will have to make some choices in their teen years...hopefully, they dont even consider making some of the choices that Heidi made.
Nonetheless, the complete ambience of the movie...the haunting soundtrack...made this a movie that will always linger in the back of my mind...partly, due to the thought provoking storyline which has left me worried about the young girls of today...but also because it was just beautiful to watch.
Initially, i was utterly jealous that there were women of this calibre out there...but then, ironically, i didnt feel so bad about myself later...not being that pretty or as high achievers as those girls were...Riss, Vicki and i were just flabbergasted! It was like *phwoar* and that was all that escaped our mouths...
And its not that they were just beautiful and successful...they were friendly too! One of the girls...the prettiest in my opinion...she runs her own bridal salon in Annandale and her dresses are worn on Home & Away...and she is my age! *like wow!*
Saturday: The wedding ceremony at the Church was short and sweet...i sat there listening to the Reverand's sermon and when he was speaking to the bride and groom about the sanctity of marriage...i sat there considering changing religions...
I observed how the Christian men treated their women...and to me, it was really beautiful to see that there were men capable of treating their women so...
I also noticed the number of average looking women partnered with really attractive men, and yet those men adored their partners...that was another thing that spurned the thought of a change in religion! *RofL*
I sat there pondering about the Church, in particular this one...my workmates who were friends since uni days, were very happy there...and they found their respective partners from Church.
I told Riss that maybe i should change religions...although, God may not favour my hidden intentions! *RofL*
And then i thought about the fact that i wasnt too keen for marriage...so changing religions is a silly notion, especially, if its only to meet guys! ahhahaahhaha
The highlight of the ceremony, was when the Reverand (a Chinese man) was trying to pronounce "oxymoron"...but when he said it, he kept repeating "Aussie-moron"...all the people in the congregation were laughing...
Sunday: I watched the new Australian movie that was chosen to be shown at the Cannes Film Fest - Somersault. Its pace is like that of Lost in Translation...but it has a more hard-hitting punch to it. Well, thats what i felt...
I was inclined to watch Love me if you dare, because i really wanted to watch a French flick...i just felt like it. But my friend was adamant in watching Somersault...and now, im greatful that we did.
I must be prudish or something, or it may be my naiveity...but the things that were being shown in the movie...it really stunned me.
Yes, im the one who watched Irreversible (shock factor was quite high), but Somersault really made me squirm...i think its more due to the fact that the leading character, Heidi, played by Abbie Cornish, effectively portrays a 16 y/o girl who is confused...the things she does for some affection...her fears on being lonely...
I dont drink alcohol...i never drank as a teen or had been completely trashed from it, or from drugs...so, i dont quite know how it feels to be in that state. I cant empathise with the main character...i think she was acting awfully foolish to be honest...
What makes me squirm is the fact that she is very young...and there are many young girls out there experimenting...and probably experimenting with as much alcohol, drugs and with sex...like the main character.
It was suppose to be a "real" portrayal...but since my life as a teen was quite subdued and innocent...i can only assume and be afraid that one day my neices will have to make some choices in their teen years...hopefully, they dont even consider making some of the choices that Heidi made.
Nonetheless, the complete ambience of the movie...the haunting soundtrack...made this a movie that will always linger in the back of my mind...partly, due to the thought provoking storyline which has left me worried about the young girls of today...but also because it was just beautiful to watch.
Friday, September 17, 2004
2004 KOREAN FILM FESTIVAL
The one movie i really want to watch and i wont be able to watch it!
-_-"
I've been waiting for a movie to come out, one that would really highten my senses and basically scare me so much that i wont be able to sleep at nite. I have rarely come across a movie which has been capable of doing this to me.
I think Memories of Murder has the potential to screw with my mind. But it will only be shown in Canberra & Melbourne...what a rort! Although, if my neice's birthday wasnt on the day it was being shown in Canberra...i definitely would be going to Canberra for a day trip...even if Canberra is a boring place.
But i will try my best to go and watch My Tutor Friend, hehehe...it sounds like a movie i would sit and chuckle all the way through...even though i dont understand a single word of Korean...haha...i should bring my friend along, so she could translate it to me...and i would be able to get some of the punchlines!
I have a busy weekend ahead of me, but i like being busy...i like moving fluidly through the day or more so through the weekend doing things i enjoy, spending the time with people i care about...
Funny how the weekend starts on Friday straight after work and it doesnt end until late Sunday nite...im obviously trying to maximise my time!!! Which usually means im going to burn out in about a month...
=X
My whole family is currently sick...and they are coughing up their lungs at home. So the more time i spend away from home, the better it is for my health at the moment...i spent a month being sick before...i cant be well for only one month and then going back to being sick again for another month! *ugh*
Last nite, i finally did the back arch thingo during my body balance class...i felt really proud that i was able to do it and stay there for over 10 seconds! *LoL* From the way i talk about it, you'd think i was going to get a trophy or something! But the trick is to keep the legs really close to your bottom and to plant ur hands in a supportive stance, before you actually push away from the ground towards the arch...hahaha...i dont think i even tried to do that when i was a kid...which makes last nite feel even more special!
Next thing u will find me doing is gushing over the fact that i conquered the cartwheels or something...hahahaha...
-_-"
I've been waiting for a movie to come out, one that would really highten my senses and basically scare me so much that i wont be able to sleep at nite. I have rarely come across a movie which has been capable of doing this to me.
I think Memories of Murder has the potential to screw with my mind. But it will only be shown in Canberra & Melbourne...what a rort! Although, if my neice's birthday wasnt on the day it was being shown in Canberra...i definitely would be going to Canberra for a day trip...even if Canberra is a boring place.
But i will try my best to go and watch My Tutor Friend, hehehe...it sounds like a movie i would sit and chuckle all the way through...even though i dont understand a single word of Korean...haha...i should bring my friend along, so she could translate it to me...and i would be able to get some of the punchlines!
I have a busy weekend ahead of me, but i like being busy...i like moving fluidly through the day or more so through the weekend doing things i enjoy, spending the time with people i care about...
Funny how the weekend starts on Friday straight after work and it doesnt end until late Sunday nite...im obviously trying to maximise my time!!! Which usually means im going to burn out in about a month...
=X
My whole family is currently sick...and they are coughing up their lungs at home. So the more time i spend away from home, the better it is for my health at the moment...i spent a month being sick before...i cant be well for only one month and then going back to being sick again for another month! *ugh*
Last nite, i finally did the back arch thingo during my body balance class...i felt really proud that i was able to do it and stay there for over 10 seconds! *LoL* From the way i talk about it, you'd think i was going to get a trophy or something! But the trick is to keep the legs really close to your bottom and to plant ur hands in a supportive stance, before you actually push away from the ground towards the arch...hahaha...i dont think i even tried to do that when i was a kid...which makes last nite feel even more special!
Next thing u will find me doing is gushing over the fact that i conquered the cartwheels or something...hahahaha...
Thursday, September 16, 2004
Music to his ears...
I gave him a lift to his car and as we sat and chatted a bit before parting...there was a glimpse of his family and the way they were. He mentioned his principle to me and asked me for my opinion on his actions or lack there of...
I dont often hesitate in speaking my mind, but i was concerned about how he would take what i was about to say to him...because for the first time, he was vulnerable.
Ironically, i had been feeling quite vulnerable around him. So, i proactively tuned out and just ebbed and flowed with the direction the river was going...
I decided to just tell him what i thought. He asked and i really couldnt be silent on the matter, or divert his question to someone to the left or the right of me. There was no one but me and he just looked into my eyes, waiting for some solace or resolve on the issue.
So, i told him of what i believed to be the intentions of his actions and of his nature...that they were honorable.
His response to what i acknowledged was like a symphony playing a sweet resonating melody just for him...i think i overwhelmed him and paid a huge compliment without actually intending to.
I think those type of compliments are better for me. I try not to question what it is and just accept it. But if a compliment was intentional...i tend to squirm and ask myself "why me?"...ahahahha...
M informed me that my train of thought/logic often goes off on a tangent...i agree, i have gone way off on a tangent...almost perpendicular...veering out to space and at this speed, i may crash and burn on the Sun!
I dont often hesitate in speaking my mind, but i was concerned about how he would take what i was about to say to him...because for the first time, he was vulnerable.
Ironically, i had been feeling quite vulnerable around him. So, i proactively tuned out and just ebbed and flowed with the direction the river was going...
I decided to just tell him what i thought. He asked and i really couldnt be silent on the matter, or divert his question to someone to the left or the right of me. There was no one but me and he just looked into my eyes, waiting for some solace or resolve on the issue.
So, i told him of what i believed to be the intentions of his actions and of his nature...that they were honorable.
His response to what i acknowledged was like a symphony playing a sweet resonating melody just for him...i think i overwhelmed him and paid a huge compliment without actually intending to.
I think those type of compliments are better for me. I try not to question what it is and just accept it. But if a compliment was intentional...i tend to squirm and ask myself "why me?"...ahahahha...
M informed me that my train of thought/logic often goes off on a tangent...i agree, i have gone way off on a tangent...almost perpendicular...veering out to space and at this speed, i may crash and burn on the Sun!
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Lose my breath?
I was sitting in my car, stuck in traffic on the M4 listening to Destiny's Child new song - Lose my breath. This was last nite, by the way...
I dont know if it was the beat of the music...it couldnt have been the lyrics, as it is quite difficult to hear clearly when the girls sing it...but as i was just sitting there, stuck behind another car, i was suddenly hit with a reality.
I like being single.
I dont want my single life to be changed in any way, not right now.
I then pondered...does he need to know how i feel? Its not like he is going to be my boyfriend next week, but say in a months time...if he decides that he wants to be more than what it is right now...do i break it to him then? that id rather not be in a "committed" relationship any time in the near future???
Would he think that i had wasted his time, if i chose to tell him later and not now? Now, when i know that this is how i feel?
I would want to know right away...so no further emotions will develop...and i wont get hurt as badly.
But if i tell him now, wouldnt it freak the guy too? Its almost like automatic disqualification...think Ian Thorpe in the 400m freestyle(?) qualifier for the Olympics. Me, totally jumping the gun, before knowing his intentions.
*Good one petals*
=(
btw...i really like the songs: Natasha Bedingfield - "These Words" and The Killers - "Somebody Told Me" and Switchfoot - "Meant to Live"...and obviously i quite like Destiny's Child new song - "Lose My Breath".
I dont know if it was the beat of the music...it couldnt have been the lyrics, as it is quite difficult to hear clearly when the girls sing it...but as i was just sitting there, stuck behind another car, i was suddenly hit with a reality.
I like being single.
I dont want my single life to be changed in any way, not right now.
I then pondered...does he need to know how i feel? Its not like he is going to be my boyfriend next week, but say in a months time...if he decides that he wants to be more than what it is right now...do i break it to him then? that id rather not be in a "committed" relationship any time in the near future???
Would he think that i had wasted his time, if i chose to tell him later and not now? Now, when i know that this is how i feel?
I would want to know right away...so no further emotions will develop...and i wont get hurt as badly.
But if i tell him now, wouldnt it freak the guy too? Its almost like automatic disqualification...think Ian Thorpe in the 400m freestyle(?) qualifier for the Olympics. Me, totally jumping the gun, before knowing his intentions.
*Good one petals*
=(
btw...i really like the songs: Natasha Bedingfield - "These Words" and The Killers - "Somebody Told Me" and Switchfoot - "Meant to Live"...and obviously i quite like Destiny's Child new song - "Lose My Breath".
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
My current state of mind...
I read this post and then i read the comments that followed...
In person, when i speak to my girl friends...i have always believed that i needed to make myself a better person before i met the next person in my life. Which is why i made a break from my ex. Which is why i enjoyed my single life. Which is why i did things on my own. Which is why i perservered in gaining my independence.
I agree that in order to be in a successful relationship, part of the equation is whether or not you're able to contribute to the other person's life...as much as they can contribute to yours. Its not necessarily about finding the "one".
Which is why i believe you need to be your own person before becoming one half of a partnership. If you are iffy about who you are...if you feel your life is boring, or insignificant...basically, if you look at ur life in a more negative way than a positive one...then my question to you is:
How will you make a genuine contribution to the life of someone else?
In the process of "upgrading" myself, i think i have lost touch with just having fun while dating. I am unable to break free from a mould that i have sort of superimposed on myself. So, while i endeavoured to "broaden" my mind and gain various skills and abilities...it was all about me...and by doing that, i ended up in a box.
I can be carefree. If i have no feelings for a person or if i know that there is no threat in being carefree with a particular person. Its like, i flirt with particular friends, like E...cos we both know that nothing will amount from it. Our friendship is secure...we are both wild and crazy in our comments to eachother...well thats the way E is with everyone he knows.
But if there might be a hint that the other person could be interested in me...and there is a threat of my heart getting lost in a puddle of mud...my head will get lost in a puddle of mud! grrr...
And although i may want to make a contribution to that someone else's life...my world is currently in a state of chaos...so all that time being single and "upgrading" myself...it totally *fudged* me up!
I cant think straight!
I get anxious easily.
I want out!!!
I could be making a negative contribution to that someone else's life, and that isnt fair...
I am now masking my own selfishness and fears by sounding as though im being ultra-considerate of the other person's feelings.
*sigh*
Right now...i just want to get back to my old self...the girl that was sure of what she had to offer to the world...even though she didnt mention it, she secretly felt that she had some things to offer...some things to offer to compliment that other person.
In person, when i speak to my girl friends...i have always believed that i needed to make myself a better person before i met the next person in my life. Which is why i made a break from my ex. Which is why i enjoyed my single life. Which is why i did things on my own. Which is why i perservered in gaining my independence.
I agree that in order to be in a successful relationship, part of the equation is whether or not you're able to contribute to the other person's life...as much as they can contribute to yours. Its not necessarily about finding the "one".
Which is why i believe you need to be your own person before becoming one half of a partnership. If you are iffy about who you are...if you feel your life is boring, or insignificant...basically, if you look at ur life in a more negative way than a positive one...then my question to you is:
How will you make a genuine contribution to the life of someone else?
In the process of "upgrading" myself, i think i have lost touch with just having fun while dating. I am unable to break free from a mould that i have sort of superimposed on myself. So, while i endeavoured to "broaden" my mind and gain various skills and abilities...it was all about me...and by doing that, i ended up in a box.
I can be carefree. If i have no feelings for a person or if i know that there is no threat in being carefree with a particular person. Its like, i flirt with particular friends, like E...cos we both know that nothing will amount from it. Our friendship is secure...we are both wild and crazy in our comments to eachother...well thats the way E is with everyone he knows.
But if there might be a hint that the other person could be interested in me...and there is a threat of my heart getting lost in a puddle of mud...my head will get lost in a puddle of mud! grrr...
And although i may want to make a contribution to that someone else's life...my world is currently in a state of chaos...so all that time being single and "upgrading" myself...it totally *fudged* me up!
I cant think straight!
I get anxious easily.
I want out!!!
I could be making a negative contribution to that someone else's life, and that isnt fair...
I am now masking my own selfishness and fears by sounding as though im being ultra-considerate of the other person's feelings.
*sigh*
Right now...i just want to get back to my old self...the girl that was sure of what she had to offer to the world...even though she didnt mention it, she secretly felt that she had some things to offer...some things to offer to compliment that other person.
Monday, September 13, 2004
My weekend extravaganza...
I finished reading "My name is Sei Shonagon" on Friday nite...i was a bit shocked with the ending...
On Saturday nite, i had a quick dinner at Sushi Train...really so that i could have their green tea ice cream! Then i went to Sheraton on the Park to try out the Dessert Buffet (M went and told me about it. i craved for some sugar...so i went!) I really should have tried the Dinner Buffet...im not much of a seafood eater, but the whole lobsters they were serving smelt yum...and looked yum...it must have tasted yum, cos the people around us ate as much of it as they could!
After the Dessert Buffet, i went to the Sydney Observatory for a nite tour...it made me realise that i havent seen any stars for a very long while. Nothing clearly in the sky, maybe one speck or two...so it was great to look through a telescope and look at the Southern Cross with the two Pointers to the right of it...it was good to see other constellations in all their glory, as well.
According to the guide, she said that Sydney is soo lit up by the artificial lights that you would have to travel further than Bathurst to actually see the real stars in the sky! (With the naked eye, that is.) But she also suggested that one nite in Summer, that you throw a blanket or rug and grab your binoculars or telescope and look up to the sky...see the stars and look at the moon and see the craters on it...*sigh*...how romantic...
;)
I cant remember the last time i laid on the ground looking up at the sky, to even look at the clouds up there during the day.
On Sunday, i painted my second picture...i didnt quite get into that "creative zone" and in my opinion...the picture could have been better...but my emotions werent in turmoil, or was i more sullen than passionate? My creative zone occurs when my emotions are boiling...i block out the rest of the world and have this grounded focus...and i paint the way i feel...and you dont always get that feeling!
I guess, its not necessary to paint every week...creativity doesnt happen on-call.
I watched Bourne Supremacy with him on Sunday nite...i enjoyed the movie...and enjoyed his company...i just wished we did something that enabled more dialogue between us...communication is critical, but im just not getting enough of it! This lack of dialogue makes me feel terrible and in the moments of silence, me head starts to convince my heart not to feel too much...if anything, it tries to switch my heart off!
On Saturday nite, i had a quick dinner at Sushi Train...really so that i could have their green tea ice cream! Then i went to Sheraton on the Park to try out the Dessert Buffet (M went and told me about it. i craved for some sugar...so i went!) I really should have tried the Dinner Buffet...im not much of a seafood eater, but the whole lobsters they were serving smelt yum...and looked yum...it must have tasted yum, cos the people around us ate as much of it as they could!
After the Dessert Buffet, i went to the Sydney Observatory for a nite tour...it made me realise that i havent seen any stars for a very long while. Nothing clearly in the sky, maybe one speck or two...so it was great to look through a telescope and look at the Southern Cross with the two Pointers to the right of it...it was good to see other constellations in all their glory, as well.
According to the guide, she said that Sydney is soo lit up by the artificial lights that you would have to travel further than Bathurst to actually see the real stars in the sky! (With the naked eye, that is.) But she also suggested that one nite in Summer, that you throw a blanket or rug and grab your binoculars or telescope and look up to the sky...see the stars and look at the moon and see the craters on it...*sigh*...how romantic...
;)
I cant remember the last time i laid on the ground looking up at the sky, to even look at the clouds up there during the day.
On Sunday, i painted my second picture...i didnt quite get into that "creative zone" and in my opinion...the picture could have been better...but my emotions werent in turmoil, or was i more sullen than passionate? My creative zone occurs when my emotions are boiling...i block out the rest of the world and have this grounded focus...and i paint the way i feel...and you dont always get that feeling!
I guess, its not necessary to paint every week...creativity doesnt happen on-call.
I watched Bourne Supremacy with him on Sunday nite...i enjoyed the movie...and enjoyed his company...i just wished we did something that enabled more dialogue between us...communication is critical, but im just not getting enough of it! This lack of dialogue makes me feel terrible and in the moments of silence, me head starts to convince my heart not to feel too much...if anything, it tries to switch my heart off!
Friday, September 10, 2004
It left me feeling odd...
I tend to just drink a lot of fluids (water/juices/teas) when the weather gets warmer...so i decided to get a Boost Juice Smoothie for my lunch today.
At Boost, there was this asian guy with a non-asian girl. They looked like workmates, but then again they could have been a couple...i dont know.
He got his drink, then she got her drink, and then they walked away...i waited a long while before i got my drink...but when i did, i decided since i had so much time to kill...and cos its a friday, that i would go shop for a top to wear to my friend's wedding.
I thought to myself, for something basic...i'll just go to Myers. I go to Myers and there were 2 asian girls, one in a pink top. I noticed the one in the pink top because she gave me the "you b*tch" type of look.
The "you b*tch" look, is something the girls will understand...its a look that other girls give to you when they are jealous of you in one way or another.
I dont know why she gave me that look, unless it was for my necklace!
=T
I have this one-of-a-kind necklace that i wear, with something simple, & it stands out. Its the necklace that i wore to the markets and the stall owner remembered me because of it...its one of those pieces of jewellery that really catches your attention and i love it...so maybe she was jealous that i have it and she doesnt?!
But i still dont believe that i deserved that look! I dont even know who she is...
=P
So, i act cool and continue shopping...
I then walked to Portmans. I walk around the shop and then i spot the guy and that girl from Boost. Whats awkward is that he made eye contact with me! I was gazing at the clothes on the wall and there he was looking at me...so i walk off to the next store...and as i walk i hear the girl saying "oooh, thats the type of skirt i want..."
After hearing that, im assuming that girl is his gf...i mean, why would you bring ur workmate shopping and talking about clothes like that to him for??? and so, it made me feel even worse!
How gross? *yuck*
I walked into Sportsgirl and a moment later after i browse at the earrings moving on to the handbags, i look up and there he is again! *bugger* ...so, i decided to walk on...*keep on moving*...out of the store...almost walking into those elderly people in the automatic mobiles.
I then went to this shop called Glasson, thinking that it wasnt the type of store that the girl would want to go to. I went in and found a pair of pants that looked good, so i grab my size to try it out in the fitting rooms. After i found the right size and take it off the rack, for the brief moment i look up to walk away from the rack to the fitting rooms, he was there looking at me while the girl was just chatting mindlessly to him.
I quickly dashed to the fitting rooms, and thankfully when i got out, they were both gone!
>_<
What is going one here?!
*bugger bugger bugger*
(note to self, STOP SAYING BUGGER!)
On a happier note, a second date has been set for Sunday nite. Why a Sunday nite? Well, im busy with friend commitments until then, and he is busy with family commitments until then.
=)
Am i smitten? I think im starting to get there...
im so fudgin gay!
At Boost, there was this asian guy with a non-asian girl. They looked like workmates, but then again they could have been a couple...i dont know.
He got his drink, then she got her drink, and then they walked away...i waited a long while before i got my drink...but when i did, i decided since i had so much time to kill...and cos its a friday, that i would go shop for a top to wear to my friend's wedding.
I thought to myself, for something basic...i'll just go to Myers. I go to Myers and there were 2 asian girls, one in a pink top. I noticed the one in the pink top because she gave me the "you b*tch" type of look.
The "you b*tch" look, is something the girls will understand...its a look that other girls give to you when they are jealous of you in one way or another.
I dont know why she gave me that look, unless it was for my necklace!
=T
I have this one-of-a-kind necklace that i wear, with something simple, & it stands out. Its the necklace that i wore to the markets and the stall owner remembered me because of it...its one of those pieces of jewellery that really catches your attention and i love it...so maybe she was jealous that i have it and she doesnt?!
But i still dont believe that i deserved that look! I dont even know who she is...
=P
So, i act cool and continue shopping...
I then walked to Portmans. I walk around the shop and then i spot the guy and that girl from Boost. Whats awkward is that he made eye contact with me! I was gazing at the clothes on the wall and there he was looking at me...so i walk off to the next store...and as i walk i hear the girl saying "oooh, thats the type of skirt i want..."
After hearing that, im assuming that girl is his gf...i mean, why would you bring ur workmate shopping and talking about clothes like that to him for??? and so, it made me feel even worse!
How gross? *yuck*
I walked into Sportsgirl and a moment later after i browse at the earrings moving on to the handbags, i look up and there he is again! *bugger* ...so, i decided to walk on...*keep on moving*...out of the store...almost walking into those elderly people in the automatic mobiles.
I then went to this shop called Glasson, thinking that it wasnt the type of store that the girl would want to go to. I went in and found a pair of pants that looked good, so i grab my size to try it out in the fitting rooms. After i found the right size and take it off the rack, for the brief moment i look up to walk away from the rack to the fitting rooms, he was there looking at me while the girl was just chatting mindlessly to him.
I quickly dashed to the fitting rooms, and thankfully when i got out, they were both gone!
>_<
What is going one here?!
*bugger bugger bugger*
(note to self, STOP SAYING BUGGER!)
On a happier note, a second date has been set for Sunday nite. Why a Sunday nite? Well, im busy with friend commitments until then, and he is busy with family commitments until then.
=)
Am i smitten? I think im starting to get there...
im so fudgin gay!
Did i ever tell you...?
(1) I think everyone knows how much i enjoy jazz...but i figured what i like the most about it other than the soulful voices...in terms of music, i really like the bellowing sound of the trumpet!
In some ways, it reflects a sound that communicates "i want to be loved, can't you feel my pain?"
Well, thats what it sounds like to me...hehehehe...
(2) I saw this little figure rush past the laundry to the kitchen, just before i opened the back screen door to get into the house after work. The figure did an about-face, and as i stepped into the house, she calls out "auntyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" and grabs both my knees to give me a massive hug! *LoL*
I couldnt get out of that hug for a while, i nearly toppled over because she hugged both knees so tightly! But its a beautiful feeling to be loved like so...
When she finally lets go, she drags me into the living room, showing me how she uses the big calculator...then her little sister tries to vie for my attention...she starts to blubber with her baby words...and starts lunging out of her father's arms to get into mine...hahaha...
Its difficult to divide your attention between two children who both want you to pay undivided attention to the one only.
(3) Patience...its everything that i am not. That i am utterly incapable of. But i shall learn...i will keep trying to be...one day i will conquer!
(4) I found my next challenge at the gym...well within my Body Balance class. I will learn how to support my body doing a perfect back arch. I got half way last nite in the class...but i cant support my head and upper body long enough, and i worry that i will collapse and hit my head on the hard hard floor! >_<
(5) The River - Missy Higgins: its a beautiful song...although the story being told is a very sad one (and i do not condone suicide)...the music and the lyrics were written and produced in such an elegant and delicate manner. It was because of this song, that i decided to buy the album. It leaves a mark on my soul and its the type of song that would be perfect for me to put on repeat while i paint. Very poetic and inspiring...hopefully it will help me be more creative!
She ran until her face was numb with cold and
wore a cotton gown that blazed the night untold.
She ran until her feet refused to hold
so heavy a heart for someone merely ten years old.
And when she reached the river her knees began to shiver,
her head with pounding voices from home.
Behind her was a vision, a painful apparition
of a darker world that no-one should know.
Somebody's bed will never be warm again,
the river will keep this friend.
Yeah somebody's bed will never be warm again,
no never again.
She dived beneath the water's icy skin,
hoping the cold would kill the smell of angry gin,
and her eyes grew wider than they'd ever been
just wishing the numbness to cut deeper with its pins.
And as her body lay there she decided to stay there
till darkness came to pull her away.
And beautifully she sank as up river was the bank
where some bodiless troubles would stay.
Somebody's bed will never be warm again,
the river will keep this friend.
Yeah somebody's bed will never be warm again,
no never again.
Somebody's bed will never be warm again,
the river will keep this friend.
Yeah somebody's bed will never be warm again,
no never again.
Written By Missy Higgins & Clif Magness
In some ways, it reflects a sound that communicates "i want to be loved, can't you feel my pain?"
Well, thats what it sounds like to me...hehehehe...
(2) I saw this little figure rush past the laundry to the kitchen, just before i opened the back screen door to get into the house after work. The figure did an about-face, and as i stepped into the house, she calls out "auntyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" and grabs both my knees to give me a massive hug! *LoL*
I couldnt get out of that hug for a while, i nearly toppled over because she hugged both knees so tightly! But its a beautiful feeling to be loved like so...
When she finally lets go, she drags me into the living room, showing me how she uses the big calculator...then her little sister tries to vie for my attention...she starts to blubber with her baby words...and starts lunging out of her father's arms to get into mine...hahaha...
Its difficult to divide your attention between two children who both want you to pay undivided attention to the one only.
(3) Patience...its everything that i am not. That i am utterly incapable of. But i shall learn...i will keep trying to be...one day i will conquer!
(4) I found my next challenge at the gym...well within my Body Balance class. I will learn how to support my body doing a perfect back arch. I got half way last nite in the class...but i cant support my head and upper body long enough, and i worry that i will collapse and hit my head on the hard hard floor! >_<
(5) The River - Missy Higgins: its a beautiful song...although the story being told is a very sad one (and i do not condone suicide)...the music and the lyrics were written and produced in such an elegant and delicate manner. It was because of this song, that i decided to buy the album. It leaves a mark on my soul and its the type of song that would be perfect for me to put on repeat while i paint. Very poetic and inspiring...hopefully it will help me be more creative!
She ran until her face was numb with cold and
wore a cotton gown that blazed the night untold.
She ran until her feet refused to hold
so heavy a heart for someone merely ten years old.
And when she reached the river her knees began to shiver,
her head with pounding voices from home.
Behind her was a vision, a painful apparition
of a darker world that no-one should know.
Somebody's bed will never be warm again,
the river will keep this friend.
Yeah somebody's bed will never be warm again,
no never again.
She dived beneath the water's icy skin,
hoping the cold would kill the smell of angry gin,
and her eyes grew wider than they'd ever been
just wishing the numbness to cut deeper with its pins.
And as her body lay there she decided to stay there
till darkness came to pull her away.
And beautifully she sank as up river was the bank
where some bodiless troubles would stay.
Somebody's bed will never be warm again,
the river will keep this friend.
Yeah somebody's bed will never be warm again,
no never again.
Somebody's bed will never be warm again,
the river will keep this friend.
Yeah somebody's bed will never be warm again,
no never again.
Written By Missy Higgins & Clif Magness
Thursday, September 09, 2004
She said her first word...
My 6 month and 3 days old niece - Aimee...has said her first word! How cute is that??? She said "bah-bah" = "daddy" in chinese!
Okay, maybe its just baby-jibberish...but i think its soo cute! And she is soooo young! I came home last nite and there she was just chatting away. She is so gorgeous...and im not speaking in terms of the way she looks...i think her personality (albeit limited right now) is very warm and friendly...and i think only the best of her, because she loves me!
When i walk through the door and she sees me, she smiles and reaches for me...begging for my attention. Oh, do i feel loved!
Just wait until she turns two and starts rampaging my room...then my tone will be different! ahahahaha
On a side note...my lil brother has been voted School Captain for 2005 at his high school. I think he has made my mother very proud...she was ecstatic when she told me after work! Gushing:
"Guess what???"...
"umm...what?"...
"Your brother made School Captain!"...
"err...didnt we know that this was going to happen?"...
hehehhee...anyways, Congrats to him!
Okay, maybe its just baby-jibberish...but i think its soo cute! And she is soooo young! I came home last nite and there she was just chatting away. She is so gorgeous...and im not speaking in terms of the way she looks...i think her personality (albeit limited right now) is very warm and friendly...and i think only the best of her, because she loves me!
When i walk through the door and she sees me, she smiles and reaches for me...begging for my attention. Oh, do i feel loved!
Just wait until she turns two and starts rampaging my room...then my tone will be different! ahahahaha
On a side note...my lil brother has been voted School Captain for 2005 at his high school. I think he has made my mother very proud...she was ecstatic when she told me after work! Gushing:
"Guess what???"...
"umm...what?"...
"Your brother made School Captain!"...
"err...didnt we know that this was going to happen?"...
hehehhee...anyways, Congrats to him!
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
He speaks Spanish...
Dinner was okay...i enjoyed it, and it seemed as though i made him squirm with my questions...i think he found my questions challenging...well thats what he said later on.
He finds me witty. I take that as a nice compliment. According to him its "quite an attractive feature"...ermm yeah, once again, i take that as a nice compliment! *LoL*
Im so fudgin' gay! I really should stop and just be realistic, and not too harsh on him...i dont mean to ask the questions the way i do, but i just ask it as so. At least for now, he finds it amusing...when i went one step too far (well i thought i took it too far)...i said out loud that i should just bite my tongue and be quiet from that point onwards, but he asked me not to...he liked it, that i didnt have reservations in asking him.
I cant help being frank.
He mentioned that he lived with his sister, and his parents were overseas. So, i asked where? Where exactly overseas...half anticipating him to say Hong Kong or China or Singapore...but after a long pause he said they were in South America, Chile to be exact.
That was all i really wanted to know...
I didnt want to know anything else, about their business or their history...but he told me none the less. I sat and listened while he painstakingly told me (well it seemed painful - although it wasnt). I didnt enquire about anything after that, except to ask what language he chose to speak with his parents?
He speaks Spanish, Cantonese and English. Much like myself, who throws in a bit of English with Teo Chiew and Vietnamese, and substitute Cantonese when i cant think of the word in the other languages. ahhahaha
During dinner, i asked why a Tuesday, he asked me why not?
Fair enough, i left it at that...and he emailed me today, informing me that Tuesday is a good day, because come Wednesday there is only 2 days to go until the weekend comes. I replied to that email, asking if i was only a buffer before the weekend? =P I have yet to receive his response...but i have a feeling i'll get one tomoro, if not a call tonite!
haha...
He finds me witty. I take that as a nice compliment. According to him its "quite an attractive feature"...ermm yeah, once again, i take that as a nice compliment! *LoL*
Im so fudgin' gay! I really should stop and just be realistic, and not too harsh on him...i dont mean to ask the questions the way i do, but i just ask it as so. At least for now, he finds it amusing...when i went one step too far (well i thought i took it too far)...i said out loud that i should just bite my tongue and be quiet from that point onwards, but he asked me not to...he liked it, that i didnt have reservations in asking him.
I cant help being frank.
He mentioned that he lived with his sister, and his parents were overseas. So, i asked where? Where exactly overseas...half anticipating him to say Hong Kong or China or Singapore...but after a long pause he said they were in South America, Chile to be exact.
That was all i really wanted to know...
I didnt want to know anything else, about their business or their history...but he told me none the less. I sat and listened while he painstakingly told me (well it seemed painful - although it wasnt). I didnt enquire about anything after that, except to ask what language he chose to speak with his parents?
He speaks Spanish, Cantonese and English. Much like myself, who throws in a bit of English with Teo Chiew and Vietnamese, and substitute Cantonese when i cant think of the word in the other languages. ahhahaha
During dinner, i asked why a Tuesday, he asked me why not?
Fair enough, i left it at that...and he emailed me today, informing me that Tuesday is a good day, because come Wednesday there is only 2 days to go until the weekend comes. I replied to that email, asking if i was only a buffer before the weekend? =P I have yet to receive his response...but i have a feeling i'll get one tomoro, if not a call tonite!
haha...
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
What happens now? I'm stuffed!
I saw a man driving a big sedan (can't remember the make now) as i was driving home...i chuckled when i looked at the number plate and at the man. This man is big and robust...so when i read the black and white number plate: BRA 10D...i just couldnt help but laugh...cos he looked more like a 26D than a 10D...i know its silly, cos his name is probably BRAD...but anyways...
I finally sat down and painted a picture on Sunday afternoon. Amidst the hail storm and feeling emotional, i painted an abstract picture. It may not look like much to anyone, but it holds significance to me. I would describe it as a painting expressing my various emotions that afternoon, in all its glory and in all its permutations!
I have a secret admirer that i found out from my mother. Its sweet that he thinks of and only does admire from afar. He feels that he isnt enough of a "man" for me...perhaps due to his occupation or his background...whatever the reason, its nice to know that someone thinks im beautiful! Pity that he has very little self confidence...
I visited my ex-workmate (that i'll be going to his wedding in 2 weeks time) at his store...he told me about his bucks nite...well he had a whole day of fun! He went white water rafting with 5 other mates...then he went to have a drinks nite afterwards and one of the guys brought his wife! Like, how wrong is that?!
So, he called me while i was heading towards a restaurant to have dinner for my brother's birthday. Lucky for him (i think) that my lil brother was practicing his driving on his L plates, so i could actually answer my phone...it was difficult to actually be rude to him cos my parents were in the car as well (and the fact that maybe he doesnt really deserve it)...and i find out later that mum (who was beside me), heard most of what he was saying to me (i swear i turned the volume down)...He asked me out, i think...well were having dinner tonite...i guess, i owe it to myself to give it a proper chance? I dont know...i was hoping that Missy Higgin's free gig was on tonite, so that i could email or call back today and say: "Sorry, im actually busy tonite!" When he suggested that we "meet up", he asked whether or not i was free tonite, and i sat there juggling "gym...dinner...gym...dinner...gym...?" Told M that i juggled the decision and was more inclined to say "gym", but she finished that droll with "Dinner".
I must be going crazy or something...or maybe its because everyone is getting married this month, but im thinking about "weddings" more often! I dont know, what the heck for!?!? Allow me to clarify though, i want a "Wedding" not a "Marriage"...that is, i want a party...to wear a beautiful dress...to prance around...to receive a lot of jewellery from family members...im the oldest girl in my family (within all my cousins) so ino they will spoil me! ahahahaha Gosh, im being a brat!
I must stop thinking these thoughts, otherwise one day, i will actually act out my thoughts!
I finally sat down and painted a picture on Sunday afternoon. Amidst the hail storm and feeling emotional, i painted an abstract picture. It may not look like much to anyone, but it holds significance to me. I would describe it as a painting expressing my various emotions that afternoon, in all its glory and in all its permutations!
I have a secret admirer that i found out from my mother. Its sweet that he thinks of and only does admire from afar. He feels that he isnt enough of a "man" for me...perhaps due to his occupation or his background...whatever the reason, its nice to know that someone thinks im beautiful! Pity that he has very little self confidence...
I visited my ex-workmate (that i'll be going to his wedding in 2 weeks time) at his store...he told me about his bucks nite...well he had a whole day of fun! He went white water rafting with 5 other mates...then he went to have a drinks nite afterwards and one of the guys brought his wife! Like, how wrong is that?!
So, he called me while i was heading towards a restaurant to have dinner for my brother's birthday. Lucky for him (i think) that my lil brother was practicing his driving on his L plates, so i could actually answer my phone...it was difficult to actually be rude to him cos my parents were in the car as well (and the fact that maybe he doesnt really deserve it)...and i find out later that mum (who was beside me), heard most of what he was saying to me (i swear i turned the volume down)...He asked me out, i think...well were having dinner tonite...i guess, i owe it to myself to give it a proper chance? I dont know...i was hoping that Missy Higgin's free gig was on tonite, so that i could email or call back today and say: "Sorry, im actually busy tonite!" When he suggested that we "meet up", he asked whether or not i was free tonite, and i sat there juggling "gym...dinner...gym...dinner...gym...?" Told M that i juggled the decision and was more inclined to say "gym", but she finished that droll with "Dinner".
I must be going crazy or something...or maybe its because everyone is getting married this month, but im thinking about "weddings" more often! I dont know, what the heck for!?!? Allow me to clarify though, i want a "Wedding" not a "Marriage"...that is, i want a party...to wear a beautiful dress...to prance around...to receive a lot of jewellery from family members...im the oldest girl in my family (within all my cousins) so ino they will spoil me! ahahahaha Gosh, im being a brat!
I must stop thinking these thoughts, otherwise one day, i will actually act out my thoughts!
Sunday, September 05, 2004
Make the most of your opportunity!
He calls me, and of course im excited! I was waiting for some sort of reaction...why would i bother spending so much time speaking to him in the first place.
He emails me, and i reply...dropping hints left right and centre, that its okay if he wants to ask me out! That i would be inclined to say yes to him at the drop of a hat!
*silence*
Now, how did it go from eager to speak to me...to ignoring me?
I think to myself...since its the 21st Century...maybe i shouldnt be so strict on myself...ill sms him and see if he is interested in going to an exhibition, since he has been hinting about going to do more "cultural" things!
So, i sms and its a while before he replies...but it sounds positive, i think...and so i reply back...and i have learnt my lesson from xtn, to always sms with a question or two, so that he has to reply. The questions are direct but i receive no response...it was sent at 7:30pm...its now after midday the day after!
Is he playing games with me?
Thats it, i call it quits! I dont understand why you have to play games with someone? If you are interested in someone and they give you really obvious hints, short of asking you blantantly out...then why not make the most of it???
Initially, i thought he was shy...but he isnt...i need to face the fact that maybe he isnt all that interested anymore...and i may sort of be that girl on the side. If that is the case, he isnt even going to get a chance.
Im quite resolute in my decisions.
If he calls today to make it up to me, then he might still get his chance...but i doubt he will call...and if that is the case, well too bad on his part!
He emails me, and i reply...dropping hints left right and centre, that its okay if he wants to ask me out! That i would be inclined to say yes to him at the drop of a hat!
*silence*
Now, how did it go from eager to speak to me...to ignoring me?
I think to myself...since its the 21st Century...maybe i shouldnt be so strict on myself...ill sms him and see if he is interested in going to an exhibition, since he has been hinting about going to do more "cultural" things!
So, i sms and its a while before he replies...but it sounds positive, i think...and so i reply back...and i have learnt my lesson from xtn, to always sms with a question or two, so that he has to reply. The questions are direct but i receive no response...it was sent at 7:30pm...its now after midday the day after!
Is he playing games with me?
Thats it, i call it quits! I dont understand why you have to play games with someone? If you are interested in someone and they give you really obvious hints, short of asking you blantantly out...then why not make the most of it???
Initially, i thought he was shy...but he isnt...i need to face the fact that maybe he isnt all that interested anymore...and i may sort of be that girl on the side. If that is the case, he isnt even going to get a chance.
Im quite resolute in my decisions.
If he calls today to make it up to me, then he might still get his chance...but i doubt he will call...and if that is the case, well too bad on his part!
Friday, September 03, 2004
My own mini petals...
It was sort of like dejavu...
Almost 3 years ago to this day, i left to go to Melbourne to help my cousin out cos she just gave birth to a baby girl and her toddler son was being a nightmare...
My sister in law, on the other hand...was about to give birth to my first niece. As i walked out of the house my sis-in-law said goodbye to me and my mother spoke to her stomach telling my yet-to-be-born niece not to come out until her aunty got back to Sydney!
I just looked at my mother with a "what the?" type of look! And said, if my niece wants to come out, she can come out whenever she'd like...the sooner the better!
Luckily, i had arranged for my best friend to pick me up from the airport when i got back to Sydney...otherwise i would have been stranded. My sis-in-law was in labour for about 12 hours. She went to the hospital about 2am or so...contractions began at about 3am...my niece didn't come out until about 3pm that afternoon.
Which happens to be coincidentally, the time my flight landed.
So what did my mother do? She blamed me for telling my niece not to come out until i got back home! But i ever so clearly recalled that SHE was the one who spoke to the tummy and SHE was the one who told me niece not to come out until i got back!
-_-"
Ever since Chloe was born, she remarkably resembled me. Everyone who saw her commented on the fact that she looked like her aunty! Well, considering i had lived a life looking like my brother...people i have never met before would just come up to me and say to "You must be Peter's sister...you look so much like him!"
Yeah, great...what every girl wants to hear! That she looks like her brother...and so much so, that people can recognise it! *doh!*
So, in actual fact, Chloe looks like her father...and since she is a girl...they say that she looks like moi.
Early on this week, i saw a mirrored reflection of when i was younger, in Chloe.
You see, when i was a toddler, i idolised my older brother...he would tell me to do things and i would just do it for him...like a slave, but i didnt realise at the time that he was using me and that he was a lazy bugger!
Then, when i got older, i started to understand. I realised that he was the most laziest person ever. He had his own two feet and two arms...he could walk and get his own drink, but he wouldnt. He could go to his room and get his big heavy blanket out! And yet he didnt! Instead, he would order me to go fetch the things he wanted or needed whilst he stayed in his comfy spot on the couch or whereever!
I started to curse things at him as i would trudge along and do what he told me to do...only cos if i didnt do it, he would hit me...as older brothers would do!
Not to say that my older brother doesn't love me. He offered to bash my first ex, because my ex made me cry...my lil brother also offered...brothers are sweet in their own way...
That nite, i was in the kitchen getting my dinner and Chloe comes in...she's trudging along and cursing saying "stoopid daddy...drink all my drink...i hate daddy...!" all under her breath. She walks to the refrigerator door, but she is too small to swing the door open. I walk up to her and ask what is wrong, and she tells me...that her stoopid daddy drank all of her drink and he told her to go and get some more! ahahahahaha...
She will be 3 y/o by the end of this month and she looks like me, especially when i was 3...even her hairstyle is the same as what mine was!
I use to worry about carrying her when she was a baby or even now, when i walk with her...im paranoid about people assuming that she is my daughter because the resemblance is so uncanny!
Yes, im a freak to even think that...but its possible! Although, i would have been 20 y/o if i had her, back then...
o_O
Almost 3 years ago to this day, i left to go to Melbourne to help my cousin out cos she just gave birth to a baby girl and her toddler son was being a nightmare...
My sister in law, on the other hand...was about to give birth to my first niece. As i walked out of the house my sis-in-law said goodbye to me and my mother spoke to her stomach telling my yet-to-be-born niece not to come out until her aunty got back to Sydney!
I just looked at my mother with a "what the?" type of look! And said, if my niece wants to come out, she can come out whenever she'd like...the sooner the better!
Luckily, i had arranged for my best friend to pick me up from the airport when i got back to Sydney...otherwise i would have been stranded. My sis-in-law was in labour for about 12 hours. She went to the hospital about 2am or so...contractions began at about 3am...my niece didn't come out until about 3pm that afternoon.
Which happens to be coincidentally, the time my flight landed.
So what did my mother do? She blamed me for telling my niece not to come out until i got back home! But i ever so clearly recalled that SHE was the one who spoke to the tummy and SHE was the one who told me niece not to come out until i got back!
-_-"
Ever since Chloe was born, she remarkably resembled me. Everyone who saw her commented on the fact that she looked like her aunty! Well, considering i had lived a life looking like my brother...people i have never met before would just come up to me and say to "You must be Peter's sister...you look so much like him!"
Yeah, great...what every girl wants to hear! That she looks like her brother...and so much so, that people can recognise it! *doh!*
So, in actual fact, Chloe looks like her father...and since she is a girl...they say that she looks like moi.
Early on this week, i saw a mirrored reflection of when i was younger, in Chloe.
You see, when i was a toddler, i idolised my older brother...he would tell me to do things and i would just do it for him...like a slave, but i didnt realise at the time that he was using me and that he was a lazy bugger!
Then, when i got older, i started to understand. I realised that he was the most laziest person ever. He had his own two feet and two arms...he could walk and get his own drink, but he wouldnt. He could go to his room and get his big heavy blanket out! And yet he didnt! Instead, he would order me to go fetch the things he wanted or needed whilst he stayed in his comfy spot on the couch or whereever!
I started to curse things at him as i would trudge along and do what he told me to do...only cos if i didnt do it, he would hit me...as older brothers would do!
Not to say that my older brother doesn't love me. He offered to bash my first ex, because my ex made me cry...my lil brother also offered...brothers are sweet in their own way...
That nite, i was in the kitchen getting my dinner and Chloe comes in...she's trudging along and cursing saying "stoopid daddy...drink all my drink...i hate daddy...!" all under her breath. She walks to the refrigerator door, but she is too small to swing the door open. I walk up to her and ask what is wrong, and she tells me...that her stoopid daddy drank all of her drink and he told her to go and get some more! ahahahahaha...
She will be 3 y/o by the end of this month and she looks like me, especially when i was 3...even her hairstyle is the same as what mine was!
I use to worry about carrying her when she was a baby or even now, when i walk with her...im paranoid about people assuming that she is my daughter because the resemblance is so uncanny!
Yes, im a freak to even think that...but its possible! Although, i would have been 20 y/o if i had her, back then...
o_O
Thursday, September 02, 2004
I am a Yellow Lioness...
I get sent quite a few emails with links to things...those fwds that you get at work! There was one that i recently got and thought "I wonder what that is? I've never seen it before..."
So, I clicked on the link and it brought me to a Colour/Animal checking tool.
You enter your name, date of birth and your gender. It does its mumbo-jumbo and hey presto you are told what coloured animal you are with a pretty well defined explanation.
I read about the "yellow lion" and i was taken aback. What i happened to be reading was a well thought out description of me. I dont know whether to believe that this tool knows me better than myself, or its creator is far more articulate than i in expressing my personality.
But oh my...if you asked me to describe myself, i may have to plagiarise that summary! Go and try it for yourself if u are bored!
The Yellow Lioness:
* You are Yellow Lion, who looks cheerful, straightforward and precise, but at the bottom of your heart, you are very cautious towards other people and do not take your guard off so easily.
* You are always thoroughly on your guard.
* You hardly express your emotions, but can act in line with the others.
* Although this make you look sociable, you are not truly coming out of your shell.
* You tend to be rather a lonely person, and work hard without taking notice of the surrounding situations.
* You dislike being interfered, and do not depend on or show your weakness to others.
* You tend to endure your struggle all on your own.
* You are very responsible person, and puts great effort in improving traditional things.
* You don't go rushing into things on your own, but try to work by keeping well balanced with others.
* You have perseverance, and carry things out with determination to finish it.
* You live your life actively and are reliable person.
* Your ways of thinking is sound and reliable.
* This sometimes gives you an impression of being too serious and strong-minded.
* You don't possess emotional dependence and obsession.
* You have a very straight forward atmosphere, and can tackle things calmly.
* You don't brood over as well.
* You can look after and take good care of those younger than you and those who are weaker than you.
* They depend on you greatly.
* You will keep your career even after the marriage.
* It will be important for you and your partner to respect each other.
So, I clicked on the link and it brought me to a Colour/Animal checking tool.
You enter your name, date of birth and your gender. It does its mumbo-jumbo and hey presto you are told what coloured animal you are with a pretty well defined explanation.
I read about the "yellow lion" and i was taken aback. What i happened to be reading was a well thought out description of me. I dont know whether to believe that this tool knows me better than myself, or its creator is far more articulate than i in expressing my personality.
But oh my...if you asked me to describe myself, i may have to plagiarise that summary! Go and try it for yourself if u are bored!
The Yellow Lioness:
* You are Yellow Lion, who looks cheerful, straightforward and precise, but at the bottom of your heart, you are very cautious towards other people and do not take your guard off so easily.
* You are always thoroughly on your guard.
* You hardly express your emotions, but can act in line with the others.
* Although this make you look sociable, you are not truly coming out of your shell.
* You tend to be rather a lonely person, and work hard without taking notice of the surrounding situations.
* You dislike being interfered, and do not depend on or show your weakness to others.
* You tend to endure your struggle all on your own.
* You are very responsible person, and puts great effort in improving traditional things.
* You don't go rushing into things on your own, but try to work by keeping well balanced with others.
* You have perseverance, and carry things out with determination to finish it.
* You live your life actively and are reliable person.
* Your ways of thinking is sound and reliable.
* This sometimes gives you an impression of being too serious and strong-minded.
* You don't possess emotional dependence and obsession.
* You have a very straight forward atmosphere, and can tackle things calmly.
* You don't brood over as well.
* You can look after and take good care of those younger than you and those who are weaker than you.
* They depend on you greatly.
* You will keep your career even after the marriage.
* It will be important for you and your partner to respect each other.
