( ) 18 – 24 years of age
( ) 25 – 30 years of age
( ) 31 – 36 years of age
( ) 37 and older.
I read a post on Tocca's Orion in regards to women in their mid 20's being picky and it got me thinking...
If you are 18 – 24, things in your life is just starting out…mostly we spend a good 3-4 years with studying at this point in our lives or some take time out to travel or just to work. It’s the time of experimentation…living life and doing stupid things that you won’t regret…or hope not to regret. Responsibility is low…priorities are pretty low too…relationships are high, I think most are just having fun or trying to have a successful long term relationship, but it just doesn’t really work out. And if it does...you're one of the select few who need not worry about this particular blog today.
Girls in the 25 – 30 age group are pegged as being “picky”. As a female in this category, I actually agree that there are a lot of young ladies who are very choosy out there. But they would term it as “knowing what they want – and there is nothing wrong with that!”
In some ways, I don’t blame them. If you are a young urban professional making enough money to do what you want, when you want…if you have the power of authority at work…if you are very attractive…if you are funny and intellectual…if you are a very sociable person…if you are all of these rolled into one – why wouldn’t you have high standards? A guy any less, probably wouldn’t cope with all that you are!
I can’t speak for the guys who are the reflection of the girls in this group…so I asked a male friend who is an urban professional and is single right now. He wants to be in a relationship with someone, but admittedly he believes that he is a “little” picky when it comes to the girls who he will approach.
Why is that?
Because we can?
I joked with K who finally got to wear the engagement ring she and H got made by the jeweller. (CONGRATS TO THEM BOTH!!! Although, they are like a married couple already…the ring is just part of a public announcement!) I asked her, although she isn’t a ‘single’ or a candidate, if she thought the ladies in our age group are “picky” and she agreed that there were quite a few…she knew many at work! My joke was that the 25 – 30 were a “picky” bunch…the 31 and over were the ones who realised that they were “picky” when they were younger and are now desperate because their clock is ticking or they feel lonely now most of their friends are married! And all the decent guys that they use to overlook when they were 25 – 30, are now married as well.
She laughed. But she also agreed.
So, I believe that the 25 – 30 are a “picky” lot.
Do I think that I’m one of the “picky” girls?
No.
I’ve mellowed. I’ve simplified my wants and I recognise that my needs are not as extravagant as they were when I was 21. I’m actually very flexible and I like the term “compromise”. Just let me rant and rave for a few minutes…and then I come around because I realise that I am being an idiot and I am being impractical. I also acknowledge when I am wrong.
I don’t think I am very attractive…so I don’t look for an attractive guy to be my partner. I think I know my shortfalls all too well now, and so I know I can’t look for someone too “wow”…maybe its out of the fear of bruising my pride, maybe its just vanity, maybe its my insecurity, or maybe its just something…but it makes me want to look for someone imperfect (but decent)…someone like me…who has their own shortfalls…so we can be imperfect together and appreciate that we accept each other as we are.
Great concept, but a pickle to make happen.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Rewarding one self...
After completing the long bill for the client and entering it into the system...
i
am
soooooooooo
glad
it
is
over
!!!
So, as a reward...i bought myself a wedge of Oreo cheesecake, thanks to D'ough Espresso Cafe at World Square.
The last time i had an Oreo cheesecake was in SG during the Xmas holidays '05.
Speaking of wedges, i bought a pair of wedge pumps on the weekend...i now realise, the wedge is my bridge between wearing flat shoes and stiletto heels. Since breaking my ankle, i have only been wearing flats and have been trying to intergrate my heels, but after wearing it for a while, my ankle would hurt...
I started wearing my ankle boots with a heel...the heels are stockier than stilettos and the leather around the ankle acts as a strap. But the wedge, i believe is what will help me wear my stilettos again. My ankle can become stronger with the extension of the height, without the strain of no support under the bridge of the foot. There is enough support under the foot that i dont even need to strap the ankle!
I'm so happy with my new purchase and the 15% off did not go by unnoticed.
*^_^*
am
soooooooooo
glad
it
is
over
!!!
So, as a reward...i bought myself a wedge of Oreo cheesecake, thanks to D'ough Espresso Cafe at World Square.
The last time i had an Oreo cheesecake was in SG during the Xmas holidays '05.
Speaking of wedges, i bought a pair of wedge pumps on the weekend...i now realise, the wedge is my bridge between wearing flat shoes and stiletto heels. Since breaking my ankle, i have only been wearing flats and have been trying to intergrate my heels, but after wearing it for a while, my ankle would hurt...
I started wearing my ankle boots with a heel...the heels are stockier than stilettos and the leather around the ankle acts as a strap. But the wedge, i believe is what will help me wear my stilettos again. My ankle can become stronger with the extension of the height, without the strain of no support under the bridge of the foot. There is enough support under the foot that i dont even need to strap the ankle!
I'm so happy with my new purchase and the 15% off did not go by unnoticed.
*^_^*
Monday, May 29, 2006
My interlude with an artist...
When i was a girl i was very romantic. My love of art grew as i learnt about Van Gogh, Monet, et al. I was young and naive, I yearned for the tortured love of an artist and his muse.
It has been a fantasy of mine to be a muse for a great artist, and although i didnt achieve a great love affair with an artist...i think i managed to capture his heart for a moment just yesterday.
It wasnt intended...i only wanted to browse and see some of the artists at work, perhaps pick up a few techniques...and more so, to nab some inspiration from the artists at the "Art on the Rocks" festival.
Sunday was a beautiful day...the sun was out, i was looking a touch bohemianesque, armed with my rose tinted frames and my nano plugged and playing my choice with what was "On the go"...
I started on the end near the MCA, it was early and the artists were only starting...some were still sitting around waiting for inspiration or perhaps for their coffee to kick in. Some sat drawing sketches...while others were finishing what they had started on Saturday.
I had made my way to a green patch and an artist was just starting something fresh...it had a boy and a girl in the centre, you could tell by their hair. Their heads side by side...he then drew their bodies, making it look connected as one with just a simple stroke shared between the two.
I was standing on his left and at this point i shifted to his right, as no one was standing there and i could see the whole painting.
As the figures in the middle became complete, a smile was drawn on my face, i felt the tug of the corners of my mouth. What he was doing was magical. Each stroke seemed continuous...he would finish each component before taking the brush off the paper. His hand strokes were fluid and confident. I admired his talent. It was simple, he made my heart do flips. It somersaulted each time he added to the painting. The smile on my face grew as the painting grew.
In the middle of all of this, he had turned to his right and saw me smiling. I was still hiding behind my huge frames, but i could feel the smile stretched across my face. He smiled at me and turned back to his work.
When he was done with the painting he walked over to me. I told him how lovely it was, that i really liked the piece of work. I gushed about how fluid his movements were, that it was simply divine. He advised me that it was fluid because of what he was using to paint with, a Chinese calligraphy brush with chinese ink. He said that he was happy to see me enjoy it so much. I then did something that to me felt inappropriate (but I wanted it so much), I asked him how I could get myself a copy of that particular work?
He said that I could buy it from him. I told him that I had never purchased a piece of art, but what he just did made me feel so happy. He told me that he will tell me what he would like as payment and i then can tell him what i was willing to pay. Due to the circumstance that it is a festival and he is painting outdoors, that the material isnt expensive he wouldnt mind $50 or a bottle of wine. Keeping in mind that he sells in a gallery and often something like this would be a few hundred dollars.
I was blatantly honest with him, that i didnt plan on coming out to purchase anything expensive. That this was just a stop before i went to check out some clothes at a vintage clothing store in Surry Hills. So, I could only offer him $20.
He told me i could have it for $20. And i think he made me smile even bigger than i had been before.
He clapsed my right hand between the two of his and airkissed me, cheek to cheek.
I was thrilled. I was enarmored. I was in love. Not with him (well maybe a little due to his talent), but with his painting...well, now my painting!
In all of the excitement, i forgot to ask his name. He told me and i exchanged with mine. He then advised that it would take about 10 minutes to dry, so I should go walk around and come back in 10. I told him that i would go and check the other artists and be back some time later.
I walked around and ended up watching Michael Muir do a landscape. He was painting with just a palette knife. I loved the thick texture of his work. We spoke a lot and i often floated by his spot every 20-30 minutes or so to see his progression. We were talking at the first of my pitstops at his spot and told him about the purchase i had made earlier on. He said that that was so cool that i felt that way about a piece of work and that i was able to purchase it. Although, he thought that with the festival, the pieces werent allowed to be sold. I offered that maybe the artist just couldnt refuse me? heheheh...what artist wouldnt be stoked that someone loved their work so much that they wanted it then and there???
After that chat with Michael and feeling oh so good with what i was able to acquire, that i technically shouldnt have been able to, which made it feel all the more special...i went back to pick up my piece from the artist.
I love a gentleman. And this artist was just that. When i got back to where he was, he was surrounded by family &/or friends. He seemed so happy and relaxed. And the moment he saw me, he swiftly excused himself and made his way to me. The painting was already rolled up and secured. He handed it over to me, I paid him the $20 that was due and I thanked him ever so much for it.
I walked past a table he had set up with his guest book, business cards and some news article clippings about his work. I took a quick glimpse and noticed how "up and coming" an artist he is. I decided that i would sign in his guest book, just a simple message to show my appreciation.
Artist,
Thank you so much for my painting!
Petals.
I didnt want to ignite any fanciful affair with the artist. I know i could have left my name & number or even my email, but I just wanted to leave him with a thank you to remind him that he has a fan. That someone loved his work so much that she had to have it! It was a big stroke to his ego...I didnt mind giving it...because at the end of the day, he gave me something so special that i really didnt think money could buy.
He made me smile. He made me smile from within. The last time i had felt this happy was when my ex told me how much he loved me...
But my heart sang as he painted that picture. It may be simply black ink on paper, but it makes me feel like im in love. I really appreciate the fact that he is European but he used an Asian medium to produce it. In my mind, the fluidity has been meshed with something lyrical and the memory of him painting my piece is priceless.
I will never forget the day that the sun shone so bright.
I will never forget the jazz music in the background.
I will never forget that some are true gentlemen.
I will never forget the day that i smiled so wide.
I will never forget the day that my heart sang out loud.
I will never forget the conversations i had with Michael.
I will never forget how simple lines can create something so beautiful.
I will never forget the artist who brought back love and passion into my heart.
It has been a fantasy of mine to be a muse for a great artist, and although i didnt achieve a great love affair with an artist...i think i managed to capture his heart for a moment just yesterday.
It wasnt intended...i only wanted to browse and see some of the artists at work, perhaps pick up a few techniques...and more so, to nab some inspiration from the artists at the "Art on the Rocks" festival.
Sunday was a beautiful day...the sun was out, i was looking a touch bohemianesque, armed with my rose tinted frames and my nano plugged and playing my choice with what was "On the go"...
I started on the end near the MCA, it was early and the artists were only starting...some were still sitting around waiting for inspiration or perhaps for their coffee to kick in. Some sat drawing sketches...while others were finishing what they had started on Saturday.
I had made my way to a green patch and an artist was just starting something fresh...it had a boy and a girl in the centre, you could tell by their hair. Their heads side by side...he then drew their bodies, making it look connected as one with just a simple stroke shared between the two.
I was standing on his left and at this point i shifted to his right, as no one was standing there and i could see the whole painting.
As the figures in the middle became complete, a smile was drawn on my face, i felt the tug of the corners of my mouth. What he was doing was magical. Each stroke seemed continuous...he would finish each component before taking the brush off the paper. His hand strokes were fluid and confident. I admired his talent. It was simple, he made my heart do flips. It somersaulted each time he added to the painting. The smile on my face grew as the painting grew.
In the middle of all of this, he had turned to his right and saw me smiling. I was still hiding behind my huge frames, but i could feel the smile stretched across my face. He smiled at me and turned back to his work.
When he was done with the painting he walked over to me. I told him how lovely it was, that i really liked the piece of work. I gushed about how fluid his movements were, that it was simply divine. He advised me that it was fluid because of what he was using to paint with, a Chinese calligraphy brush with chinese ink. He said that he was happy to see me enjoy it so much. I then did something that to me felt inappropriate (but I wanted it so much), I asked him how I could get myself a copy of that particular work?
He said that I could buy it from him. I told him that I had never purchased a piece of art, but what he just did made me feel so happy. He told me that he will tell me what he would like as payment and i then can tell him what i was willing to pay. Due to the circumstance that it is a festival and he is painting outdoors, that the material isnt expensive he wouldnt mind $50 or a bottle of wine. Keeping in mind that he sells in a gallery and often something like this would be a few hundred dollars.
I was blatantly honest with him, that i didnt plan on coming out to purchase anything expensive. That this was just a stop before i went to check out some clothes at a vintage clothing store in Surry Hills. So, I could only offer him $20.
He told me i could have it for $20. And i think he made me smile even bigger than i had been before.
He clapsed my right hand between the two of his and airkissed me, cheek to cheek.
I was thrilled. I was enarmored. I was in love. Not with him (well maybe a little due to his talent), but with his painting...well, now my painting!
In all of the excitement, i forgot to ask his name. He told me and i exchanged with mine. He then advised that it would take about 10 minutes to dry, so I should go walk around and come back in 10. I told him that i would go and check the other artists and be back some time later.
I walked around and ended up watching Michael Muir do a landscape. He was painting with just a palette knife. I loved the thick texture of his work. We spoke a lot and i often floated by his spot every 20-30 minutes or so to see his progression. We were talking at the first of my pitstops at his spot and told him about the purchase i had made earlier on. He said that that was so cool that i felt that way about a piece of work and that i was able to purchase it. Although, he thought that with the festival, the pieces werent allowed to be sold. I offered that maybe the artist just couldnt refuse me? heheheh...what artist wouldnt be stoked that someone loved their work so much that they wanted it then and there???
After that chat with Michael and feeling oh so good with what i was able to acquire, that i technically shouldnt have been able to, which made it feel all the more special...i went back to pick up my piece from the artist.
I love a gentleman. And this artist was just that. When i got back to where he was, he was surrounded by family &/or friends. He seemed so happy and relaxed. And the moment he saw me, he swiftly excused himself and made his way to me. The painting was already rolled up and secured. He handed it over to me, I paid him the $20 that was due and I thanked him ever so much for it.
I walked past a table he had set up with his guest book, business cards and some news article clippings about his work. I took a quick glimpse and noticed how "up and coming" an artist he is. I decided that i would sign in his guest book, just a simple message to show my appreciation.
Artist,
Thank you so much for my painting!
Petals.
I didnt want to ignite any fanciful affair with the artist. I know i could have left my name & number or even my email, but I just wanted to leave him with a thank you to remind him that he has a fan. That someone loved his work so much that she had to have it! It was a big stroke to his ego...I didnt mind giving it...because at the end of the day, he gave me something so special that i really didnt think money could buy.
He made me smile. He made me smile from within. The last time i had felt this happy was when my ex told me how much he loved me...
But my heart sang as he painted that picture. It may be simply black ink on paper, but it makes me feel like im in love. I really appreciate the fact that he is European but he used an Asian medium to produce it. In my mind, the fluidity has been meshed with something lyrical and the memory of him painting my piece is priceless.
I will never forget the day that the sun shone so bright.
I will never forget the jazz music in the background.
I will never forget that some are true gentlemen.
I will never forget the day that i smiled so wide.
I will never forget the day that my heart sang out loud.
I will never forget the conversations i had with Michael.
I will never forget how simple lines can create something so beautiful.
I will never forget the artist who brought back love and passion into my heart.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
BIG and the F-word...
I'm sitting on the train in a 2 seater and across the aisle in the 3 seater there is a BIG woman sitting there talking to her friends/work mates in a very loud voice. So, its obvious that i can hear all of their conversation, although i'm trying to get some nap time on this very long journey!
This woman is BIG, and when i say BIG i mean she is obese, especially since she isnt very tall. To give you an idea, she took up 1.5 seats in the 3 seater, the only person who would sit between her and the NZ'der guy was a very skinny lanky Chinese woman...who got desperate after standing for a while, but everyone else standing in the carriage couldnt be bothered to try and squish in the half empty seat.
She starts talking about some guy at work looking down on her. Apparently, this co-worker was giving her dirty looks the other day. The type of looks people give to a person that they think is "fat", rolls there eyes cos the BIG person is eating a Big Mac for lunch, plus large fries, and a large coke, and 20 nuggets on the side.
But this woman admittedly declared that she knows that she is a "BIG GIRL" but she eats very healthy...she told her friends that for breakfast she would only have a bowl of cereal OR a piece of toast. My question would be: "And what kind of cereal do you have with full cream milk?" OR "What do you smother on that one piece of toast???" (I'm being an arrogant presumptious b@#%h but i cant help being skeptical!) Because, honestly...if you ate only "healthy" food you wouldnt be obese. You wouldnt be having difficulty breathing to live. You wouldnt be the way you are now, unhealty!
I was in the kitchen at work one day preparing my tuna (in springwater) with lettuce, carrots, and cheese sandwich...which was on Helga's Mixed Grain bread. (Have i told you that i love Helga?) Another worker was making some toast thing with sardines. He was telling me that he didnt like them, which is why he was slathering mustard on it to kill the sardine-ish taste. He said he only ate them cos he realised that he needed the Omega-3 and that he wanted to live longer for his kids. I told him i didnt like tuna, but i ate it for the protein and that i was trying to be healthy so i could lose the fat around my tummy. I joked saying my clothes felt tighter on me! (Although, it was true...)
We then got to talking about junk food...i then declared that i was astonished at how some people didnt know when to stop or reduce the junk intake after gaining a few kilos. I mean, women should notice right away when they go shopping and they have to buy 2 dress sizes bigger! The men should notice if their belly is hanging wayyyy over the waistband! So, why are there so many obese people out there??? Is it simply because even though they have noticed they had put on weight, they were too lazy to bother to do anything to take it off???
He thinks it was the way the BIG people are brought up. He feels that they are uneducated about the right foods to eat. That all they know is junk. Thats no excuse in my opinion. I didnt really know what was right or wrong to eat, but i knew junk was bad. HELLO??? Just switch on the tv and watch ACA or Today Tonight and they will tell you what is right or wrong to eat, although they may not be 100% accurate, but at least that would be a start. And they will definitely point out that junk = bad.
I'm steadfastly going to the gym and trying to change my eating habits so that i dont put on even more weight, when i notice that my clothes are getting tighter on me. I enjoy food. I lurrrve comfort food too. But i also know when i have gone too far and need to do something proactive so that it doesnt get any worse. Dont other people do that? Obviously not. Isnt that why we have an epidemic? Isnt that why we are now taking all the soft drinks out of our schools??? Isnt that why the government wants to monitor our children at school (our future) by proposing that schools measure those children's weight on a regular basis???
Take control of your weight - PEOPLE!!! Dont let your weight control you!!!
The number of diabetics have skyrocketed and people are just getting to be so BIG. Its getting out of hand and has been for soo long!!! I use to feel FAT around people, because i was the one who was BIGGER. But as i grow older and continue to stay about the same size (but trying to be a dress size smaller), everyone else around me is getting BIGGER...to a point where im beginning to actually feel skinny. Thats around town.
Around my locale, thats a different story...but i need that to motivate me to continue going to the gym. (I can only motivate myself so much with out external stimulation!) Seeing skinny girls around my area doesnt make me want to become a waif...but it makes me want to stay active and choose to eat properly, and that keeps me healthy! And if it helps me drop that 1 lonely dress size...hey, it would be worth it seeing all those toothpicks cross my path!
There isnt a problem with being "BIG" but when you are obese and it is a detriment to your heart and health, then you should stop hiding behind the "I know im big" slogan. If you know...go do something about it!
This woman is BIG, and when i say BIG i mean she is obese, especially since she isnt very tall. To give you an idea, she took up 1.5 seats in the 3 seater, the only person who would sit between her and the NZ'der guy was a very skinny lanky Chinese woman...who got desperate after standing for a while, but everyone else standing in the carriage couldnt be bothered to try and squish in the half empty seat.
She starts talking about some guy at work looking down on her. Apparently, this co-worker was giving her dirty looks the other day. The type of looks people give to a person that they think is "fat", rolls there eyes cos the BIG person is eating a Big Mac for lunch, plus large fries, and a large coke, and 20 nuggets on the side.
But this woman admittedly declared that she knows that she is a "BIG GIRL" but she eats very healthy...she told her friends that for breakfast she would only have a bowl of cereal OR a piece of toast. My question would be: "And what kind of cereal do you have with full cream milk?" OR "What do you smother on that one piece of toast???" (I'm being an arrogant presumptious b@#%h but i cant help being skeptical!) Because, honestly...if you ate only "healthy" food you wouldnt be obese. You wouldnt be having difficulty breathing to live. You wouldnt be the way you are now, unhealty!
I was in the kitchen at work one day preparing my tuna (in springwater) with lettuce, carrots, and cheese sandwich...which was on Helga's Mixed Grain bread. (Have i told you that i love Helga?) Another worker was making some toast thing with sardines. He was telling me that he didnt like them, which is why he was slathering mustard on it to kill the sardine-ish taste. He said he only ate them cos he realised that he needed the Omega-3 and that he wanted to live longer for his kids. I told him i didnt like tuna, but i ate it for the protein and that i was trying to be healthy so i could lose the fat around my tummy. I joked saying my clothes felt tighter on me! (Although, it was true...)
We then got to talking about junk food...i then declared that i was astonished at how some people didnt know when to stop or reduce the junk intake after gaining a few kilos. I mean, women should notice right away when they go shopping and they have to buy 2 dress sizes bigger! The men should notice if their belly is hanging wayyyy over the waistband! So, why are there so many obese people out there??? Is it simply because even though they have noticed they had put on weight, they were too lazy to bother to do anything to take it off???
He thinks it was the way the BIG people are brought up. He feels that they are uneducated about the right foods to eat. That all they know is junk. Thats no excuse in my opinion. I didnt really know what was right or wrong to eat, but i knew junk was bad. HELLO??? Just switch on the tv and watch ACA or Today Tonight and they will tell you what is right or wrong to eat, although they may not be 100% accurate, but at least that would be a start. And they will definitely point out that junk = bad.
I'm steadfastly going to the gym and trying to change my eating habits so that i dont put on even more weight, when i notice that my clothes are getting tighter on me. I enjoy food. I lurrrve comfort food too. But i also know when i have gone too far and need to do something proactive so that it doesnt get any worse. Dont other people do that? Obviously not. Isnt that why we have an epidemic? Isnt that why we are now taking all the soft drinks out of our schools??? Isnt that why the government wants to monitor our children at school (our future) by proposing that schools measure those children's weight on a regular basis???
Take control of your weight - PEOPLE!!! Dont let your weight control you!!!
The number of diabetics have skyrocketed and people are just getting to be so BIG. Its getting out of hand and has been for soo long!!! I use to feel FAT around people, because i was the one who was BIGGER. But as i grow older and continue to stay about the same size (but trying to be a dress size smaller), everyone else around me is getting BIGGER...to a point where im beginning to actually feel skinny. Thats around town.
Around my locale, thats a different story...but i need that to motivate me to continue going to the gym. (I can only motivate myself so much with out external stimulation!) Seeing skinny girls around my area doesnt make me want to become a waif...but it makes me want to stay active and choose to eat properly, and that keeps me healthy! And if it helps me drop that 1 lonely dress size...hey, it would be worth it seeing all those toothpicks cross my path!
There isnt a problem with being "BIG" but when you are obese and it is a detriment to your heart and health, then you should stop hiding behind the "I know im big" slogan. If you know...go do something about it!
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Brave
My two nieces, they are pretty fearless…at pre-school/childcare when the teacher says “Who wants to come up here and sing and dance with me?” Chloe (4.5) would be on stage, and then Aimee (2) would follow her older sister.
When they were first born, my mother held them in their tiny blankets and whispered words of wisdom into their ears. She told them to be strong, to be brave, but to also be smart, kind and humble, among other things.
I’m not sure if she had the chance to give me such pearls of wisdom when I was a baby. She must have, she is a good mother who has and will always by my side..
The other day, we drove past the girls’ school and my mother said that next year Chloe would be going to Kindergarten at a Catholic school. She wondered whether Chloe would cry this time…because on her first few weeks into pre-school she cried a lot. Then she started talking about me and my first day at Kindergarten. That my Dad had driven me to school, walked me to my classroom and once I walked through the door, I turned around and said “Bye Daddy, you can go home now!”
I didn’t cry, I wasn’t sad…apparently, I was happy to be at school. And to be honest, my memories of school are pretty darn good. I had my share of personal health problems…tonsillitis and asthma doesn’t mix. So, when we would do fitness and my tonsillitis was acting up…I would have an asthma attack, which is never fun as a kid (or even as an adult). Thankfully I’m over the asthma and the attacks are now distant memories.
I don’t have to carry an asthma inhaler and I can actually run…I’m feeling pretty impressed with myself that my fitness is really good at this very moment…I could almost be an athlete. (No…not really…but I’ll fool myself with that thought! *hehehe*)
My mother proclaims that all of her children are strong and brave. I wonder if it was because she had whispered in our ears to be like that. Do you think there could be a connection between how you were brought up, to whether or not you are brave now? Or is it something you were just born with? Was I wielded this way by my mother, and if so, does that mean I can blame her for creating the monster that argues back to her (not meaning to) when we are arguing?
Its not that I’m trying to find an excuse for my sometimes irrational fearless behaviour, I take full responsibility for my actions. I just want to understand how some people are so brave while others are not.
And what makes me so competitive? A girl friend asked me “what keeps you motivated to go to the gym so often?” I told her, because I feel fat and I don’t want to be fat, so I need to lose the fat! My clothes started feeling tight around the waist band. I have time on my hands now, why not use it to cultivate a healthier me?
The fact that there is a competition running at the gym makes it easier to stay motivated. I set the record last night. I beat the longest time for the women, and the longest time for the men. The time to beat overall was 9 minutes 22 seconds, which was unchanged since the weekend. My time, (I finally got my arse off and asked a trainer to time me) was 13 minutes. I was running on low fuel and had a sore right knee. The last time I ate was at lunch, 12:30pm (got timed after 6:30pm), so I plan to boost my energy the next time I try, right before I make my next entry. And the aim is to hit 15 minutes.
I’m competitive and I want to beat the boys. But without the comp, I would be competing against myself. At the end of the day, there is only one person I really need to better at any game or competition, and that’s me. This whole Endurance Test has really shown me that I can go far beyond what I believed to be my limit. I braved the negative thoughts and pushed myself, further and further and further.
What I ended up achieving is about 6 times more than I thought I could do. I was only planning on hitting 2 minutes. But by taking little steps at a time and I ended up doing something amazing!
I wasn’t planning on writing about this or talk about this in such a light, but I’m glad I did. I need to remind myself that I can achieve HUGE things, it just takes time, but if I persevere I will reach my goal. I will get what I want. I should believe in myself. Just be brave.
I’m grateful that my life has turned and gone in a different direction. I should be upset and I was. But I’m learning more about myself every day. I am learning to approach things in a different way. I am learning to love and smile and acknowledge who I am. I am appreciating true friendship that never fades. I feel as brave as I did that day I told my Daddy to go home.
I think I just hit an epiphany.
When they were first born, my mother held them in their tiny blankets and whispered words of wisdom into their ears. She told them to be strong, to be brave, but to also be smart, kind and humble, among other things.
I’m not sure if she had the chance to give me such pearls of wisdom when I was a baby. She must have, she is a good mother who has and will always by my side..
The other day, we drove past the girls’ school and my mother said that next year Chloe would be going to Kindergarten at a Catholic school. She wondered whether Chloe would cry this time…because on her first few weeks into pre-school she cried a lot. Then she started talking about me and my first day at Kindergarten. That my Dad had driven me to school, walked me to my classroom and once I walked through the door, I turned around and said “Bye Daddy, you can go home now!”
I didn’t cry, I wasn’t sad…apparently, I was happy to be at school. And to be honest, my memories of school are pretty darn good. I had my share of personal health problems…tonsillitis and asthma doesn’t mix. So, when we would do fitness and my tonsillitis was acting up…I would have an asthma attack, which is never fun as a kid (or even as an adult). Thankfully I’m over the asthma and the attacks are now distant memories.
I don’t have to carry an asthma inhaler and I can actually run…I’m feeling pretty impressed with myself that my fitness is really good at this very moment…I could almost be an athlete. (No…not really…but I’ll fool myself with that thought! *hehehe*)
My mother proclaims that all of her children are strong and brave. I wonder if it was because she had whispered in our ears to be like that. Do you think there could be a connection between how you were brought up, to whether or not you are brave now? Or is it something you were just born with? Was I wielded this way by my mother, and if so, does that mean I can blame her for creating the monster that argues back to her (not meaning to) when we are arguing?
Its not that I’m trying to find an excuse for my sometimes irrational fearless behaviour, I take full responsibility for my actions. I just want to understand how some people are so brave while others are not.
And what makes me so competitive? A girl friend asked me “what keeps you motivated to go to the gym so often?” I told her, because I feel fat and I don’t want to be fat, so I need to lose the fat! My clothes started feeling tight around the waist band. I have time on my hands now, why not use it to cultivate a healthier me?
The fact that there is a competition running at the gym makes it easier to stay motivated. I set the record last night. I beat the longest time for the women, and the longest time for the men. The time to beat overall was 9 minutes 22 seconds, which was unchanged since the weekend. My time, (I finally got my arse off and asked a trainer to time me) was 13 minutes. I was running on low fuel and had a sore right knee. The last time I ate was at lunch, 12:30pm (got timed after 6:30pm), so I plan to boost my energy the next time I try, right before I make my next entry. And the aim is to hit 15 minutes.
I’m competitive and I want to beat the boys. But without the comp, I would be competing against myself. At the end of the day, there is only one person I really need to better at any game or competition, and that’s me. This whole Endurance Test has really shown me that I can go far beyond what I believed to be my limit. I braved the negative thoughts and pushed myself, further and further and further.
What I ended up achieving is about 6 times more than I thought I could do. I was only planning on hitting 2 minutes. But by taking little steps at a time and I ended up doing something amazing!
I wasn’t planning on writing about this or talk about this in such a light, but I’m glad I did. I need to remind myself that I can achieve HUGE things, it just takes time, but if I persevere I will reach my goal. I will get what I want. I should believe in myself. Just be brave.
I’m grateful that my life has turned and gone in a different direction. I should be upset and I was. But I’m learning more about myself every day. I am learning to approach things in a different way. I am learning to love and smile and acknowledge who I am. I am appreciating true friendship that never fades. I feel as brave as I did that day I told my Daddy to go home.
I think I just hit an epiphany.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Je suis désolé
For some weird reason i remember how to say "I am sorry" in French among all the usual greetings...but for the life of me, i cant remember the numbers and yet i can ask "How old are you?"... And "I am sorry" is the only thing other than "Good Morning", i remember in Italian.
Why is that?!
You know how girls have their "Break Up Anthems"? That song that either makes them cry and cry over a the guy that has just broken their hearts...or its that song that says "Get over that loser NOW!" Well, for me the song that really gets me motivated and really puts things into perspective is Madonna's 'Sorry'.
I'm not sure if its the words...well it cant be, as i dont really know what the words are, except the chorus...it must be the beat...or it could be a subliminal message...either way, its my anthem and it makes me feel like boogying the night away.
I went to watch the Swans vs the West Bulldogs game at the SCG on Saturday night. An ex-workmate's father has season tix, but couldnt make it. So, he invited me to go with him. I'm not into football...i dont know the difference between AFL and all the other leagues. But i believe now, that watching any game live will be enjoyable.
He explained the main objective of the game before it started...and I soon learn that the rules surrounding it arent very clear, as it makes me wonder how the umpires make their call...but by the 3rd quarter, i was cheering with the rest of them.
Have you ever watched the Drew Barrymore movie "The Perfect Catch"? Its about how she finds her perfect guy and he is great throughout the year, until baseball season starts, and he turns out to be this obsessive weirdo, who's life is dictated by the game. There is this scene, where you watch all the people who sit in the area with season tix and it seems as though they are like this family that you visit and laugh with through this concentrated period of time and then when the season finishes you each go on your merry way...wishing each other well, until next season.
I couldnt believe my eyes and ears when i first sat down in the seats. It is true. All these people who have season tix know each other so well, maybe better than their own families...and they have sat in the same seats for years...maybe over a decade. It must have been a shock for them to see an asian girl sitting in one of those seats.
They scream and shout, jeering, and they go nuts!!! They give players nick names like "Red legs"? Like what the?! The lady behind me, apparently she was better behaved that night, but on other nights she just keeps calling the umpires maggots. She was listening to the radio so she could follow the other games in Melbourne...as well as listen to the commentary for the Sydney game...she gave so much feedback, i just wanted to turn around and say "shut the f#$% up...watch the game thats right in front of you and stop reporting to everyone about the Collingwood game!!!"
But obviously i didnt...cos if i did, i think they would trash me, and my friend's father wouldnt be too happy with the report upon his next visit to a game, that his son had brought an asian girl who stirred up trouble in his season tix seats.
Anyhoo...i was shouting and cheering for the Swans...it was so good i was almost jumping out of my seat...live games...woohoo! I think the icing on the cake was the fact that we won! And were so wild about Barry!!!
;)
During Saturday, at about 1:30pm, I broke the longest recorded time for the blokes in the Endurance Test, of about 9 minutes 22 seconds. I reached my 10 minute goal. Well i went over 10 minutes...and now im pursuing about 12 minutes. Victory is looking brighter. *LoL*
I finally met up with my trainer on Sunday. The new program he has given me is a killer...and i have to do bench presses...not happy about that...its such a guy thing...and i need someone to spot me. The fact that i have to do 4 reps non-stop with tricep dips and push ups has me feeling weary.
The other exercises i can handle, cos i dont need a buddy. But where am i supposed to find a guy at my disposal to spot me doing the bench presses? And i dont want to rely on a guy to spot me either. My brothers go to the gym in the morning, the time in which i leave for work...my friend at the gym is doing a course in the evenings now, so i cant fix a time with him...i need to do the program for 8 weeks...how shitty is that?
My trainer has left for Europe today and wont be back until July 10, so im supposed to produce results for him by the time he gets back. Easier said than done? No, i'll get it done and he will be impressed with the results, as will I...
Why is that?!
You know how girls have their "Break Up Anthems"? That song that either makes them cry and cry over a the guy that has just broken their hearts...or its that song that says "Get over that loser NOW!" Well, for me the song that really gets me motivated and really puts things into perspective is Madonna's 'Sorry'.
I'm not sure if its the words...well it cant be, as i dont really know what the words are, except the chorus...it must be the beat...or it could be a subliminal message...either way, its my anthem and it makes me feel like boogying the night away.
I went to watch the Swans vs the West Bulldogs game at the SCG on Saturday night. An ex-workmate's father has season tix, but couldnt make it. So, he invited me to go with him. I'm not into football...i dont know the difference between AFL and all the other leagues. But i believe now, that watching any game live will be enjoyable.
He explained the main objective of the game before it started...and I soon learn that the rules surrounding it arent very clear, as it makes me wonder how the umpires make their call...but by the 3rd quarter, i was cheering with the rest of them.
Have you ever watched the Drew Barrymore movie "The Perfect Catch"? Its about how she finds her perfect guy and he is great throughout the year, until baseball season starts, and he turns out to be this obsessive weirdo, who's life is dictated by the game. There is this scene, where you watch all the people who sit in the area with season tix and it seems as though they are like this family that you visit and laugh with through this concentrated period of time and then when the season finishes you each go on your merry way...wishing each other well, until next season.
I couldnt believe my eyes and ears when i first sat down in the seats. It is true. All these people who have season tix know each other so well, maybe better than their own families...and they have sat in the same seats for years...maybe over a decade. It must have been a shock for them to see an asian girl sitting in one of those seats.
They scream and shout, jeering, and they go nuts!!! They give players nick names like "Red legs"? Like what the?! The lady behind me, apparently she was better behaved that night, but on other nights she just keeps calling the umpires maggots. She was listening to the radio so she could follow the other games in Melbourne...as well as listen to the commentary for the Sydney game...she gave so much feedback, i just wanted to turn around and say "shut the f#$% up...watch the game thats right in front of you and stop reporting to everyone about the Collingwood game!!!"
But obviously i didnt...cos if i did, i think they would trash me, and my friend's father wouldnt be too happy with the report upon his next visit to a game, that his son had brought an asian girl who stirred up trouble in his season tix seats.
Anyhoo...i was shouting and cheering for the Swans...it was so good i was almost jumping out of my seat...live games...woohoo! I think the icing on the cake was the fact that we won! And were so wild about Barry!!!
;)
During Saturday, at about 1:30pm, I broke the longest recorded time for the blokes in the Endurance Test, of about 9 minutes 22 seconds. I reached my 10 minute goal. Well i went over 10 minutes...and now im pursuing about 12 minutes. Victory is looking brighter. *LoL*
I finally met up with my trainer on Sunday. The new program he has given me is a killer...and i have to do bench presses...not happy about that...its such a guy thing...and i need someone to spot me. The fact that i have to do 4 reps non-stop with tricep dips and push ups has me feeling weary.
The other exercises i can handle, cos i dont need a buddy. But where am i supposed to find a guy at my disposal to spot me doing the bench presses? And i dont want to rely on a guy to spot me either. My brothers go to the gym in the morning, the time in which i leave for work...my friend at the gym is doing a course in the evenings now, so i cant fix a time with him...i need to do the program for 8 weeks...how shitty is that?
My trainer has left for Europe today and wont be back until July 10, so im supposed to produce results for him by the time he gets back. Easier said than done? No, i'll get it done and he will be impressed with the results, as will I...
Friday, May 19, 2006
Competition and the SWW!
There is an Endurance Competition going on at my gym.
Simply ride the bike on Level 10 (women) and keep the RPM above 100, and do it for as long as you can.
I haven't officially entered my times. I want to see what the other women who i will be competing with, will actually achieve.
The first time i tried, i was puffed after 2 minutes, but i knew i could pedal for longer, because my legs didnt feel too fatigued to the point of exhaustion.
I told a male friend about the comp and he said that he was keen to enter too. Then we proposed our own wager. If he wins, i gotta go bike riding at a park with him. (Which i dont want to do, and thats another story that i dont want to get into now). If i win, were going to Max Brenner, on him...or somewhere of my choice.
He rides the bike on the weekend, and he thinks he could do better than me. But i pointed out to him that i tend to do interval training, while he doesnt do much cardio at the gym. So, in terms of an endurance test, i would last longer, because i usually change the level of resistance from low to high and when im at a high resistance i usually do above 100 rpm and try to do it for as long as i can. Actually, even at a low resistance my rpm is above 100.
If we were to do a long distance bike ride, he would win hands down. But i feel confident that i can whoop his ass in this endurance test.
On Monday night when i was testing myself, i passed the 3 minute mark and stopped after that. Tuesday night he got on the bike and did it for 4 minutes on Level 10, while in the actual comp he has to do it on Level 13 (for some reason thats the level for the guys - must be a body mass ratio thing). I had personally passed the 4 minute mark.
I passed the 5 minute mark on Wednesday and i watched one of my competitors do the comp and she did it for 5 minutes too. And after that her legs were like jelly, while mine felt like it could go further. So, i pushed myself again and last night i surpassed it by going over 6 minutes.
I know i can beat her cos i already outbeat her time by a minute, but the comp is on until the end of May, so if she trains she could match my time. So, i need to be diligent. We can enter as many times we want, but only once a day. There is a prize at the end, but im not really concerned about it.
I must be a glory hog. I won this other comp at the gym last year prior to breaking my ankle...i think it was to do with being the fittest or strongest...and the girl who came second thought she would win first place (she isnt the competitor that i was watching). Cos she had won it the 2004...(i just didnt bother to enter it that year...) So, when she saw someone else's name in 2005, the wind in her sails disappeared mighty fast. She went around asking who i was, but i fell sick and didnt go to the gym for a couple of weeks when it was announced.
I think i just want to beat her again in this comp, and put her in her place. She thinks she owns the gym...she walks and talk like she does...she claims machines like they belong to her...i want to smother her arrogance and make her realise that there will always be someone better than you...if i dont beat, please let someone else come first...so long as its not her!!!
So, its no longer about winning my bet with my friend...although, i know i will kick his butt. Its really about this girl and my own want of the glory.
Its not like im going to walk around and strut at the gym and say "hey! look at me...i won!!!" Although, that is something she would do. I would just smile on the inside and keep (my identity) to myself as i always do at the gym...the silent satisfaction of beating her will be reward enough...and even if im not the most humble person, im going to pretend that i am, just to annoy her even more!
I am evil. (Just a bit)
On the plus side, after all this training...im going to have a nice behind! *LoL*
***
I am having a shitty week at work...and so is Kat...and so is L...and so is E...
I think its the Shitty Work Week (SWW) for everyone. It must be the moon. It must be in the shitty week phase!
And you know what? I cant tolerate ignorant people who are supposed to be specialists in their field.
I also cant tolerate people who call for information, although they requested it in an email, which was sent over an hour ago...claim that its not in the email...and then after informing them it IS in the email...they go and finally read the email and see that the information that they requested is in fact in the first 2 lines of that email they didnt read, but claimed they did!!!
I also cant tolerate managers who look at a spreadsheet I send to them, which is a copy of a document that they personally wrote, and come back to me saying that they dont understand it!!! Albeit, its not cut and paste of exactly the table they produced, its formatted slightly differently and i have added columns, but its a spreadsheet - what is there NOT to get??? The columns have headings which have inserted comments to describe what should be entered into the fields under the headings...there is a "Comments" column that explains the item in each of the rows.
I'm starting to get sick of managing the managers.
I am supposed to support them, I shouldnt be managing them. I manage the other resources.
I had to talk to one manager and tell him that his request from me was ridiculous, not only was it double handling, but it would give the impression that we were unprofessional as i couldnt confirm anything. I can not set an appointment for a third party with a client when i dont know when the third party is available and there is no way of contacting them. I can not call a client and say:
"Hi, i wanted to set an appointment with you for a tech to complete your install. But i dont know when he is free. And i cant confirm with you that he can come in on Friday as you would like. Actually i cant confirm anything. I think i have just wasted your time. And this phone conversation just cost my manager $XX of my time."
I wasnt prepared to make such a phonecall. I told him I wouldnt. I had to do a similar mock phonecall to use as an example so that he could see my point of view.
I think that says it all.
I'm so over this week!!!
Simply ride the bike on Level 10 (women) and keep the RPM above 100, and do it for as long as you can.
I haven't officially entered my times. I want to see what the other women who i will be competing with, will actually achieve.
The first time i tried, i was puffed after 2 minutes, but i knew i could pedal for longer, because my legs didnt feel too fatigued to the point of exhaustion.
I told a male friend about the comp and he said that he was keen to enter too. Then we proposed our own wager. If he wins, i gotta go bike riding at a park with him. (Which i dont want to do, and thats another story that i dont want to get into now). If i win, were going to Max Brenner, on him...or somewhere of my choice.
He rides the bike on the weekend, and he thinks he could do better than me. But i pointed out to him that i tend to do interval training, while he doesnt do much cardio at the gym. So, in terms of an endurance test, i would last longer, because i usually change the level of resistance from low to high and when im at a high resistance i usually do above 100 rpm and try to do it for as long as i can. Actually, even at a low resistance my rpm is above 100.
If we were to do a long distance bike ride, he would win hands down. But i feel confident that i can whoop his ass in this endurance test.
On Monday night when i was testing myself, i passed the 3 minute mark and stopped after that. Tuesday night he got on the bike and did it for 4 minutes on Level 10, while in the actual comp he has to do it on Level 13 (for some reason thats the level for the guys - must be a body mass ratio thing). I had personally passed the 4 minute mark.
I passed the 5 minute mark on Wednesday and i watched one of my competitors do the comp and she did it for 5 minutes too. And after that her legs were like jelly, while mine felt like it could go further. So, i pushed myself again and last night i surpassed it by going over 6 minutes.
I know i can beat her cos i already outbeat her time by a minute, but the comp is on until the end of May, so if she trains she could match my time. So, i need to be diligent. We can enter as many times we want, but only once a day. There is a prize at the end, but im not really concerned about it.
I must be a glory hog. I won this other comp at the gym last year prior to breaking my ankle...i think it was to do with being the fittest or strongest...and the girl who came second thought she would win first place (she isnt the competitor that i was watching). Cos she had won it the 2004...(i just didnt bother to enter it that year...) So, when she saw someone else's name in 2005, the wind in her sails disappeared mighty fast. She went around asking who i was, but i fell sick and didnt go to the gym for a couple of weeks when it was announced.
I think i just want to beat her again in this comp, and put her in her place. She thinks she owns the gym...she walks and talk like she does...she claims machines like they belong to her...i want to smother her arrogance and make her realise that there will always be someone better than you...if i dont beat, please let someone else come first...so long as its not her!!!
So, its no longer about winning my bet with my friend...although, i know i will kick his butt. Its really about this girl and my own want of the glory.
Its not like im going to walk around and strut at the gym and say "hey! look at me...i won!!!" Although, that is something she would do. I would just smile on the inside and keep (my identity) to myself as i always do at the gym...the silent satisfaction of beating her will be reward enough...and even if im not the most humble person, im going to pretend that i am, just to annoy her even more!
I am evil. (Just a bit)
On the plus side, after all this training...im going to have a nice behind! *LoL*
I am having a shitty week at work...and so is Kat...and so is L...and so is E...
I think its the Shitty Work Week (SWW) for everyone. It must be the moon. It must be in the shitty week phase!
And you know what? I cant tolerate ignorant people who are supposed to be specialists in their field.
I also cant tolerate people who call for information, although they requested it in an email, which was sent over an hour ago...claim that its not in the email...and then after informing them it IS in the email...they go and finally read the email and see that the information that they requested is in fact in the first 2 lines of that email they didnt read, but claimed they did!!!
I also cant tolerate managers who look at a spreadsheet I send to them, which is a copy of a document that they personally wrote, and come back to me saying that they dont understand it!!! Albeit, its not cut and paste of exactly the table they produced, its formatted slightly differently and i have added columns, but its a spreadsheet - what is there NOT to get??? The columns have headings which have inserted comments to describe what should be entered into the fields under the headings...there is a "Comments" column that explains the item in each of the rows.
I'm starting to get sick of managing the managers.
I am supposed to support them, I shouldnt be managing them. I manage the other resources.
I had to talk to one manager and tell him that his request from me was ridiculous, not only was it double handling, but it would give the impression that we were unprofessional as i couldnt confirm anything. I can not set an appointment for a third party with a client when i dont know when the third party is available and there is no way of contacting them. I can not call a client and say:
"Hi, i wanted to set an appointment with you for a tech to complete your install. But i dont know when he is free. And i cant confirm with you that he can come in on Friday as you would like. Actually i cant confirm anything. I think i have just wasted your time. And this phone conversation just cost my manager $XX of my time."
I wasnt prepared to make such a phonecall. I told him I wouldnt. I had to do a similar mock phonecall to use as an example so that he could see my point of view.
I think that says it all.
I'm so over this week!!!
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Guilty as S.I.N.
I had been trying to arrange a time with my personal trainer...who is more like my friend now...for a session to whip me back into shape.
But every time we arrange a date and time, he had to cancel on me because he had something else to do...be it some Fitness Expo...another appointment...and then i was told, hurting his back.
Its been about 1-2 months of trying to set up an appointment. So, i devised my own workout program to get me started.
I went to the gym last night as usual. Being a Tuesday night i did my cardio and then went to do my Body Balance class. I left the class slightly early than normal and walked into the circuit room, only to find my personal trainer there...and he looked so guilty, as though i had caught him having sex with a co-worker! But all he was really doing was the seated row for his back and talking to another client/friend.
He looked at me with shame, and i maturely heckled the life out of him, increasing the amount of guilt he was feeling. The other client/friend was also paying him out...telling him "I hate when men don't return phone calls!!! You're one of those guys, aren't you?" And then he tried to explain...
He had the Fitness Expo so he had to cancel that weekend...and then he hurt his back...he doesnt check his phone regularly...well he doesnt carry it around often...he was organising his trip, in which he will be leaving to go to in a weeks time...i should email him, cos he does check his emails regularly...and i told him i did, trying to rearrange another date/time...then he said email me again...then he set an appointment for this Sunday at 1pm...i was like "Are you sure???"...he said that the other client/friend will be his witness!...he better not screw up this time!!!
*LoL*
I love seeing big brave "nothing scares me" type of men just shake with fear when they get caught and/or cornered!!! My personal trainer is a buff guy. And yet he was scared of two girls that he could bench with his little pinky!
After he explained...the client/friend asked him a general question "Why don't men return calls?" He must have been so guilty cos he started to explain himself again...*LoL*...and i pointed out and so did she, that that question was about the general male population...not about him...
I then added the "digging" hand gesture...and i told him that he ain't gonna be getting out any time soon!
***
Speaking of guilt...
I was looked after well by a GP last year for my broken ankle...and quite frankly he is a fabulous doctor...but because he is a "he" i didnt want to go back to him to do my physical and feminine checks. My local GP that i have been seeing since i was 2.5 y/o is also a great doctor...but he is also a "he" and so i didnt want him to do my physical or feminine checks either.
So, what is a girl to do? I really wanted to get my checks done...since im 25 now and i should start monitoring my health...but i really wanted to be seen by a female GP and i recalled a really good one (well she had a lot of female patients, I had noticed when i was sitting in the waiting room) when i use to visit the fabulous GP for my ankle. It was one of his colleagues. So, i went and made a visit with her and got my physical and feminine checks done.
But as i am sitting in the waiting area, i get caught by the fabulous GP sitting there waiting...but not waiting for him.
I feel like i am cheating on him by seeing another GP, and a female no less.
Is this the equivalent of going out with a guy and then dumping him for a girl???
Cos that would be a slap to the face.
I wonder if he is wondering whether he has done anything wrong, that i felt unsafe to make my visits with him...? That maybe in the past he had crossed the line of ethics and it has made me decide to see a "female" GP instead???
Let me say, that is not the case!!!
He has never crossed any lines or made me feel uncomfortable. He has always been professional with the way he treated me as a patient. Its just that since i needed to do a variety of "feminine checks"...i really needed a female doctor to do them and then explain to me as a woman can...to reassure me that everything is okay in the female way...to know that the doctor is a female and knows exactly what i am going through. I was anxious about getting all the checks done as is. Having a male doctor conduct them, just didnt cut it for me.
Yesterday, i had to go back and get my results...and when you get your results, you generally should go back to the doctor who has conducted the tests. So, i went back to see her. And he caught me again, waiting to be seen by her...and i felt guilty again.
She is an awesome doctor...just as great as he is...i'd like to continue to see the both of them...and i'm wondering whether its possible in such a relationship??? Would i be in the wrong for doing so???
hmm...
But every time we arrange a date and time, he had to cancel on me because he had something else to do...be it some Fitness Expo...another appointment...and then i was told, hurting his back.
Its been about 1-2 months of trying to set up an appointment. So, i devised my own workout program to get me started.
I went to the gym last night as usual. Being a Tuesday night i did my cardio and then went to do my Body Balance class. I left the class slightly early than normal and walked into the circuit room, only to find my personal trainer there...and he looked so guilty, as though i had caught him having sex with a co-worker! But all he was really doing was the seated row for his back and talking to another client/friend.
He looked at me with shame, and i maturely heckled the life out of him, increasing the amount of guilt he was feeling. The other client/friend was also paying him out...telling him "I hate when men don't return phone calls!!! You're one of those guys, aren't you?" And then he tried to explain...
He had the Fitness Expo so he had to cancel that weekend...and then he hurt his back...he doesnt check his phone regularly...well he doesnt carry it around often...he was organising his trip, in which he will be leaving to go to in a weeks time...i should email him, cos he does check his emails regularly...and i told him i did, trying to rearrange another date/time...then he said email me again...then he set an appointment for this Sunday at 1pm...i was like "Are you sure???"...he said that the other client/friend will be his witness!...he better not screw up this time!!!
*LoL*
I love seeing big brave "nothing scares me" type of men just shake with fear when they get caught and/or cornered!!! My personal trainer is a buff guy. And yet he was scared of two girls that he could bench with his little pinky!
After he explained...the client/friend asked him a general question "Why don't men return calls?" He must have been so guilty cos he started to explain himself again...*LoL*...and i pointed out and so did she, that that question was about the general male population...not about him...
I then added the "digging" hand gesture...and i told him that he ain't gonna be getting out any time soon!
Speaking of guilt...
I was looked after well by a GP last year for my broken ankle...and quite frankly he is a fabulous doctor...but because he is a "he" i didnt want to go back to him to do my physical and feminine checks. My local GP that i have been seeing since i was 2.5 y/o is also a great doctor...but he is also a "he" and so i didnt want him to do my physical or feminine checks either.
So, what is a girl to do? I really wanted to get my checks done...since im 25 now and i should start monitoring my health...but i really wanted to be seen by a female GP and i recalled a really good one (well she had a lot of female patients, I had noticed when i was sitting in the waiting room) when i use to visit the fabulous GP for my ankle. It was one of his colleagues. So, i went and made a visit with her and got my physical and feminine checks done.
But as i am sitting in the waiting area, i get caught by the fabulous GP sitting there waiting...but not waiting for him.
I feel like i am cheating on him by seeing another GP, and a female no less.
Is this the equivalent of going out with a guy and then dumping him for a girl???
Cos that would be a slap to the face.
I wonder if he is wondering whether he has done anything wrong, that i felt unsafe to make my visits with him...? That maybe in the past he had crossed the line of ethics and it has made me decide to see a "female" GP instead???
Let me say, that is not the case!!!
He has never crossed any lines or made me feel uncomfortable. He has always been professional with the way he treated me as a patient. Its just that since i needed to do a variety of "feminine checks"...i really needed a female doctor to do them and then explain to me as a woman can...to reassure me that everything is okay in the female way...to know that the doctor is a female and knows exactly what i am going through. I was anxious about getting all the checks done as is. Having a male doctor conduct them, just didnt cut it for me.
Yesterday, i had to go back and get my results...and when you get your results, you generally should go back to the doctor who has conducted the tests. So, i went back to see her. And he caught me again, waiting to be seen by her...and i felt guilty again.
She is an awesome doctor...just as great as he is...i'd like to continue to see the both of them...and i'm wondering whether its possible in such a relationship??? Would i be in the wrong for doing so???
hmm...
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
The gift of self is not the gift of one's heart or body but of will...
I have almost finished reading this book by Clare Boylan. She is an unknown author to me and the only reason why i purchased this book was because the first 2 chapters were written by Charlotte Bronte and was never completed by her. 150 years later, Clare Boylan picked up where she left off and finished the novel "Emma Brown".
I buy books to read on the train. I try to read at home but i never do so, because DVDs are more appealing when addressing my idleness, and when i realise that im pathetically sitting at home watching DVDs, i counteract the idleness with a frantic session at the gym in the afternoon.
Its a vicious cycle i live by.
And since i only read books on the train, i try to pick books that are interesting. I'm reading it for the story telling...a means to transport me to a different place...perhaps adding a little romance...preferably funny or utterly thrilling...but i never really anticipate that i would learn a thing or two that really matters. Fictional novels, in my opinion don't go out of their way and try to teach you life lessons, these days.
So, its peculiar that the novels i have been reading have sublimely taught me a thing or two. And im not talking about facts of things that the story is based on...im talking about humility, patience, knowing how to speak to someone in a very polite manner, which in turn shows them their evil...uno, that stuff!
And the title of this post, came from Emma Brown. I think it is an excellent quote. Simple and straight to the point.
The gift of self is not the gift of one's heart or body but of will...
I didnt expect Clare Boylan to do a good job at finishing off what Bronte had started, but she did. And that clever line is from Boylan, as it is located on page 381, very far from the first 2 chapters.
;)
I also have to admit, that the first 2 chapters set the scene, but it was a very mundane presentation. Boylan really takes it up a few notches to make the ride thrilling and there are a few twist in the story that really makes you go "ooo"...
I know i havent actually written anything about the storyline, and that was my intention. If you are interested - maybe from the Bronte connection, I picked up my copy at the Basement Book Store near Central Station. I think it was like $4.95. But beware, its not a juicy novel like Jane Eyre (as juicy as things could be in those days)...as its a novel about a (little) girl.
***
I will be moving back to the CBD this Friday...into my own office...not sure how long this will be for.
***
I was talking to my mum on the weekend and at the end of my conversation with my mother I had pretty much decided that if the guy I loved proposed to me and we really couldn’t afford to have the type of wedding I had dreamt of…I think I would still be happy with a little get together and just do the signing of the marriage certificate amongst my family and close friends. At the end of the day, I would just want to be with the person…and I don’t like complications anyway.
I think I’m gradually stripping down my life and lifestyle to simplify things. And its not like I intend on running around and looking for the mister ASAP. I’m just saying. Instead of struggling to make my dream wedding occur now and therefore postponing it from happening; while desperately trying to save money for it in the next couple of years, I would happily have a small wedding to be with him sooner.
And I’m so glad that my mother didn’t rant and rave like I thought she would…being her only daughter and not having a BIG wedding, yadda, yadda, yadda. She agreed. She said “you are marrying him…not the wedding…not the jewellery…if you love him and the two of you can’t afford to have a dream wedding, just go and sign the papers!”
Speaking of weddings…E thinks he wants to marry…I asked him if he was sure…he told me to go find him a “Joey” as in Joey from Dawson’s Creek…I personally think that that is a lost cause…I don’t know of any "Joey’s" and have never seen a "Joey" in Sydney…how would I go and find him one?! He would have better luck than I to find himself a chick…but I’ll keep an eye out for him.
We figured last week that E is my version of Miranda Hobbs (Sex and the City). Since I’m sorta like Carrie…and he threatened me like Miranda…so now he is my Miranda. I also have my version of Will (Will & Grace)…although, my Will isn’t gay and he is a bit offended that I think of him as my Will…but our relationship is like Will & Grace’s…so tough luck…he is my Will.
After telling L about E being my Miranda...L revealed that E already told her...and they figured that L is my Samantha...when she told me, i just cracked up...cos uno what??? She would make the perfect Samantha...L has got the balls to fit!!!
***
I miss cooking…I actually enjoy cooking…even though I am crap at it. But i realise that when i watch the Saturday cooking show or any other cooking show on tv...i dont look and think that its too hard to do...im no longer afraid...i actually think to myself "Hey, i can do that!"
***
I realise that I don’t actually need a guy for anything but for his love…and the guy that I want to be with needs to be self sufficient, as I am, and only cares for the love I can offer him.
***
I use to be scared of dying lonely. It used to be my one and only fear. But I’m not afraid of it right now, although everyone else around me is…
***
My nieces enable to me smile and laugh heartily again.
I buy books to read on the train. I try to read at home but i never do so, because DVDs are more appealing when addressing my idleness, and when i realise that im pathetically sitting at home watching DVDs, i counteract the idleness with a frantic session at the gym in the afternoon.
Its a vicious cycle i live by.
And since i only read books on the train, i try to pick books that are interesting. I'm reading it for the story telling...a means to transport me to a different place...perhaps adding a little romance...preferably funny or utterly thrilling...but i never really anticipate that i would learn a thing or two that really matters. Fictional novels, in my opinion don't go out of their way and try to teach you life lessons, these days.
So, its peculiar that the novels i have been reading have sublimely taught me a thing or two. And im not talking about facts of things that the story is based on...im talking about humility, patience, knowing how to speak to someone in a very polite manner, which in turn shows them their evil...uno, that stuff!
And the title of this post, came from Emma Brown. I think it is an excellent quote. Simple and straight to the point.
The gift of self is not the gift of one's heart or body but of will...
I didnt expect Clare Boylan to do a good job at finishing off what Bronte had started, but she did. And that clever line is from Boylan, as it is located on page 381, very far from the first 2 chapters.
;)
I also have to admit, that the first 2 chapters set the scene, but it was a very mundane presentation. Boylan really takes it up a few notches to make the ride thrilling and there are a few twist in the story that really makes you go "ooo"...
I know i havent actually written anything about the storyline, and that was my intention. If you are interested - maybe from the Bronte connection, I picked up my copy at the Basement Book Store near Central Station. I think it was like $4.95. But beware, its not a juicy novel like Jane Eyre (as juicy as things could be in those days)...as its a novel about a (little) girl.
I will be moving back to the CBD this Friday...into my own office...not sure how long this will be for.
I was talking to my mum on the weekend and at the end of my conversation with my mother I had pretty much decided that if the guy I loved proposed to me and we really couldn’t afford to have the type of wedding I had dreamt of…I think I would still be happy with a little get together and just do the signing of the marriage certificate amongst my family and close friends. At the end of the day, I would just want to be with the person…and I don’t like complications anyway.
I think I’m gradually stripping down my life and lifestyle to simplify things. And its not like I intend on running around and looking for the mister ASAP. I’m just saying. Instead of struggling to make my dream wedding occur now and therefore postponing it from happening; while desperately trying to save money for it in the next couple of years, I would happily have a small wedding to be with him sooner.
And I’m so glad that my mother didn’t rant and rave like I thought she would…being her only daughter and not having a BIG wedding, yadda, yadda, yadda. She agreed. She said “you are marrying him…not the wedding…not the jewellery…if you love him and the two of you can’t afford to have a dream wedding, just go and sign the papers!”
Speaking of weddings…E thinks he wants to marry…I asked him if he was sure…he told me to go find him a “Joey” as in Joey from Dawson’s Creek…I personally think that that is a lost cause…I don’t know of any "Joey’s" and have never seen a "Joey" in Sydney…how would I go and find him one?! He would have better luck than I to find himself a chick…but I’ll keep an eye out for him.
We figured last week that E is my version of Miranda Hobbs (Sex and the City). Since I’m sorta like Carrie…and he threatened me like Miranda…so now he is my Miranda. I also have my version of Will (Will & Grace)…although, my Will isn’t gay and he is a bit offended that I think of him as my Will…but our relationship is like Will & Grace’s…so tough luck…he is my Will.
After telling L about E being my Miranda...L revealed that E already told her...and they figured that L is my Samantha...when she told me, i just cracked up...cos uno what??? She would make the perfect Samantha...L has got the balls to fit!!!
I miss cooking…I actually enjoy cooking…even though I am crap at it. But i realise that when i watch the Saturday cooking show or any other cooking show on tv...i dont look and think that its too hard to do...im no longer afraid...i actually think to myself "Hey, i can do that!"
I realise that I don’t actually need a guy for anything but for his love…and the guy that I want to be with needs to be self sufficient, as I am, and only cares for the love I can offer him.
I use to be scared of dying lonely. It used to be my one and only fear. But I’m not afraid of it right now, although everyone else around me is…
My nieces enable to me smile and laugh heartily again.
Friday, May 12, 2006
Quiet on the blog...
You can definitely tell when i am busy with meetings and with work...
My blog goes really quiet.
I "actually" don't have the time to share my dramas with you. (My friends are laughing at this notion...i can hear you giggling in the back there!)
=P
I was invited for drinks after work to catch up with my uni friends. I declined because I had a shitty stressful day where i happened upon a minefield and the bombs were starting to go off around me! Now i understand the real reason for my engagement to join that particular project. So, i could be the one holding on to the mast as the ship is sinking in the deep blue ocean!
So, i thought the bright idea is to go home and go to the gym. I didnt quite get to the gym and i ended up sitting at home watching Veronica Mars and thinking "OMG, she is graduating from highschool...whats going to happen next, will there be a Season 3?" Then i progressed to watching Season 4 of Sex and the City...and i wondered about the topics raised in the episodes about love and life and soul mates.
My Varekai (Cirque du Soleil) tix arrived yesterday...i know i said i wouldnt mention him, but i bought the tix for him as a present. So, i have to mention him now...*fudge* it didnt last long did it?! So, i called to ask him if he wanted me to send it via mail to his place...he told me to keep them since he is wont be in the country between June-September...he has no real plans, but thats the time he has requested for leave from work.
I could either sell my tix on Ebay, which are in a really good position in terms of view of the stage...OR keep them and go with someone. Anyone want to offer their good services? You can come, but you have to be a gentleman and pick me up...i think its a good trade for awesome tix to a talked about event.
I decided to do something quirky this year for Mother's Day. Last year i took Mum up the Centrepoint Tower for lunch...only because she has lived in Sydney all of my life and had never been up the Tower...which is why i chose to do lunch there. This year, i thought if i cant bring her to the great galleries abroad, i will take her to our own gallery that is currently exhibiting wonderful self portraits of artists from all over the world. Well the artists are from all over the world...the paintings have been in London and are now on show in Sydney. Sunday will be the last day of the exhibition...we just made the cut!
I not only get to show her these paintings...its a little deeper than that. I figured this year, i would show her what i do, when i say "i'm going to the gallery!" on the weekend. And i get to share a moment with her, that she might never actually share with me. And if she enjoys it, we can go to more of them in the future...pending on her reaction as she isn't quite into art as i am.
Then, i will be taking her to lunch. Nothing too fancy...as another novelty, i decided that i would take her to Little Snail...i have never taken her to have French food...but more so, i'll order the escargot and she can try them. She was sqirming at the idea when i told her last night...but i know she will try them...so she can boast to her friends when she meets up with them next.
Its become a tradition that every Mother's Day, i take her out and we do something she hasn't tried before. Its a girls day out and she looks forward to it. People tell her that she is lucky to have me as a daughter...a daughter that enjoys her mother's company and actually spends quality time with her.
To all the daughters out there, who are not accustomed to hanging out with their mothers, I ask of you to take some time out this Sunday and talk to her. Make her feel as though she is still of some importance to you. You may have moved on because you are an adult now...so give your mother a call if you can't go and see her and wish her a Happy Mother's Day!
My blog goes really quiet.
I "actually" don't have the time to share my dramas with you. (My friends are laughing at this notion...i can hear you giggling in the back there!)
=P
I was invited for drinks after work to catch up with my uni friends. I declined because I had a shitty stressful day where i happened upon a minefield and the bombs were starting to go off around me! Now i understand the real reason for my engagement to join that particular project. So, i could be the one holding on to the mast as the ship is sinking in the deep blue ocean!
So, i thought the bright idea is to go home and go to the gym. I didnt quite get to the gym and i ended up sitting at home watching Veronica Mars and thinking "OMG, she is graduating from highschool...whats going to happen next, will there be a Season 3?" Then i progressed to watching Season 4 of Sex and the City...and i wondered about the topics raised in the episodes about love and life and soul mates.
My Varekai (Cirque du Soleil) tix arrived yesterday...i know i said i wouldnt mention him, but i bought the tix for him as a present. So, i have to mention him now...*fudge* it didnt last long did it?! So, i called to ask him if he wanted me to send it via mail to his place...he told me to keep them since he is wont be in the country between June-September...he has no real plans, but thats the time he has requested for leave from work.
I could either sell my tix on Ebay, which are in a really good position in terms of view of the stage...OR keep them and go with someone. Anyone want to offer their good services? You can come, but you have to be a gentleman and pick me up...i think its a good trade for awesome tix to a talked about event.
I decided to do something quirky this year for Mother's Day. Last year i took Mum up the Centrepoint Tower for lunch...only because she has lived in Sydney all of my life and had never been up the Tower...which is why i chose to do lunch there. This year, i thought if i cant bring her to the great galleries abroad, i will take her to our own gallery that is currently exhibiting wonderful self portraits of artists from all over the world. Well the artists are from all over the world...the paintings have been in London and are now on show in Sydney. Sunday will be the last day of the exhibition...we just made the cut!
I not only get to show her these paintings...its a little deeper than that. I figured this year, i would show her what i do, when i say "i'm going to the gallery!" on the weekend. And i get to share a moment with her, that she might never actually share with me. And if she enjoys it, we can go to more of them in the future...pending on her reaction as she isn't quite into art as i am.
Then, i will be taking her to lunch. Nothing too fancy...as another novelty, i decided that i would take her to Little Snail...i have never taken her to have French food...but more so, i'll order the escargot and she can try them. She was sqirming at the idea when i told her last night...but i know she will try them...so she can boast to her friends when she meets up with them next.
Its become a tradition that every Mother's Day, i take her out and we do something she hasn't tried before. Its a girls day out and she looks forward to it. People tell her that she is lucky to have me as a daughter...a daughter that enjoys her mother's company and actually spends quality time with her.
To all the daughters out there, who are not accustomed to hanging out with their mothers, I ask of you to take some time out this Sunday and talk to her. Make her feel as though she is still of some importance to you. You may have moved on because you are an adult now...so give your mother a call if you can't go and see her and wish her a Happy Mother's Day!
Monday, May 08, 2006
Mr. Big
I watched Season 2 of Sex and the City and it felt like I was watching my ex and I in the last couple of moments of our relationship.
It was gut wrenching and painful as much as it was insightful and liberating.
One moment especially on Disc 2, Episode 12 sounded a clear “ding!”
Why didn’t I remember this episode? And what is worse? The fact that what happened, I actually had a heads up on? Or the fact that this happens often enough that the writers had put it into script for Carrie and Mr Big, and my past with the ex is overtly a common cliché?
The scene that hit me like a frying pan to the face is when Carrie is told by Mr Big that he might move to Paris permanently for 3 years or so for work. What hurts is the simple fact that he says it without Carrie even considered in his “bigger” picture.
And it hurts - A LOT! (and I am speaking from example). It really shatters you when someone is planning on moving away for bigger and better things and you’re not even factored in to their plans. That this person who told you that they “loved you” didn’t think about what their move would mean to you, what it would in future entail for the relationship.
I didn’t have the luxury of this information being sprung on me in the privacy of my home or his. I was accidentally told this information when we were supposed to be having a romantic lunch for Valentines Day at a poshy restaurant in the CBD.
So, I couldn’t really break out into hysterics and although McD’s was downstairs on the corner, I didn’t have a Big Mac or a Fillet O fish at my disposal to throw against the wall near his head. I tried to stay composed and not cause a scene since it was lunch and very busy in the restaurant.
In retrospect, I should have realised that that was the beginning of the end. The demise. But I know why I kept going. I wanted to believe that I could make it work. What I didn’t understand, or more so, I didn’t want to believe that it really did take two to tango. And I didn’t want to believe that he wasn’t there to dance with me. I really thought that he felt the same way about me as I did for him. So, in the end, no matter what, it would work because we would make it work.
It was the perfect opportunity to cry all of my tears, but I didn’t. I think it was because I had realised something else the day before.
I truly believe that knowledge = power. What you know and how you use that knowledge enables you to get what you want. My mistake in the relationship was telling my ex that he was knowledgeable. I gave him the power in our relationship. I enabled him to manipulate me and break my heart as much as I did this to myself.
I don’t know why, but for some reason I had place a time limit on “love” and a time limit for finding someone to “love”. I am blind and stupid. There is no limit. Love is a verb and no amount of time can stop you from loving someone until you disappear from the face of the earth. And even then, who is to say that your love will no longer be felt by those you have left behind?
I feel empowered with this knowledge.
The other pieces of knowledge that gives me power…
He doesn’t deserve me if he couldn’t see what he had when it was right in front of him.
I have the capacity to love someone.
I knew and know what I want in another.
With regards to my feelings about relationships…I use to be a Charlotte, and then I turned into a Miranda. I soon became a Carrie and I think I’m still hovering around there…and I don’t want to be a Samantha.
If I saw my ex at the end of his engagement party with a “simply beige” type of girl…my one question would be the same as Carrie’s.
I will not be running around in desperation when I’m in my mid 30’s to find someone to marry. It will not be part of my mission statement.
The plant he bought me at the beginning of our relationship has been dying for a month now, slowly leaf by leaf, stalk by stalk. I wonder if plants share our feelings too, like pets do. I think it is definitely time to move on.
Its time to stop talking about the ex…so, no more mentioning of the ex.
It was gut wrenching and painful as much as it was insightful and liberating.
One moment especially on Disc 2, Episode 12 sounded a clear “ding!”
Why didn’t I remember this episode? And what is worse? The fact that what happened, I actually had a heads up on? Or the fact that this happens often enough that the writers had put it into script for Carrie and Mr Big, and my past with the ex is overtly a common cliché?
The scene that hit me like a frying pan to the face is when Carrie is told by Mr Big that he might move to Paris permanently for 3 years or so for work. What hurts is the simple fact that he says it without Carrie even considered in his “bigger” picture.
And it hurts - A LOT! (and I am speaking from example). It really shatters you when someone is planning on moving away for bigger and better things and you’re not even factored in to their plans. That this person who told you that they “loved you” didn’t think about what their move would mean to you, what it would in future entail for the relationship.
I didn’t have the luxury of this information being sprung on me in the privacy of my home or his. I was accidentally told this information when we were supposed to be having a romantic lunch for Valentines Day at a poshy restaurant in the CBD.
So, I couldn’t really break out into hysterics and although McD’s was downstairs on the corner, I didn’t have a Big Mac or a Fillet O fish at my disposal to throw against the wall near his head. I tried to stay composed and not cause a scene since it was lunch and very busy in the restaurant.
In retrospect, I should have realised that that was the beginning of the end. The demise. But I know why I kept going. I wanted to believe that I could make it work. What I didn’t understand, or more so, I didn’t want to believe that it really did take two to tango. And I didn’t want to believe that he wasn’t there to dance with me. I really thought that he felt the same way about me as I did for him. So, in the end, no matter what, it would work because we would make it work.
It was the perfect opportunity to cry all of my tears, but I didn’t. I think it was because I had realised something else the day before.
I truly believe that knowledge = power. What you know and how you use that knowledge enables you to get what you want. My mistake in the relationship was telling my ex that he was knowledgeable. I gave him the power in our relationship. I enabled him to manipulate me and break my heart as much as I did this to myself.
I don’t know why, but for some reason I had place a time limit on “love” and a time limit for finding someone to “love”. I am blind and stupid. There is no limit. Love is a verb and no amount of time can stop you from loving someone until you disappear from the face of the earth. And even then, who is to say that your love will no longer be felt by those you have left behind?
I feel empowered with this knowledge.
The other pieces of knowledge that gives me power…
He doesn’t deserve me if he couldn’t see what he had when it was right in front of him.
I have the capacity to love someone.
I knew and know what I want in another.
With regards to my feelings about relationships…I use to be a Charlotte, and then I turned into a Miranda. I soon became a Carrie and I think I’m still hovering around there…and I don’t want to be a Samantha.
If I saw my ex at the end of his engagement party with a “simply beige” type of girl…my one question would be the same as Carrie’s.
I will not be running around in desperation when I’m in my mid 30’s to find someone to marry. It will not be part of my mission statement.
The plant he bought me at the beginning of our relationship has been dying for a month now, slowly leaf by leaf, stalk by stalk. I wonder if plants share our feelings too, like pets do. I think it is definitely time to move on.
Its time to stop talking about the ex…so, no more mentioning of the ex.
Friday, May 05, 2006
Mumblings...
I’m officially on 2 projects. The 3rd project is on the bench, awaiting my assessment of my time to see if I can accommodate.
I will be moving to the CBD shortly…they couldn’t find me a desk…so I will be given an office. I will be the only one who will have an office. The Manager of my manger wanted that room as his office…I think this is another moment where I could potentially be killing my career. You should never tread on the toes of your boss and take away something they want!
One of the projects I am working on is a fairly small one…so I’m going to be managing ONE guy. *LoL* I thought this was hilarious…the way the PM was giving me all the details and basically telling me to get this one guy to do everything! As M puts it “delegate, delegate, delegate”.
I saw this kid at the shopping centre last night. His face was horribly disfigured. Not sure if you would recall, there was a story on 60 minutes or on the news or ACA…and it was of an African kid (I think) where half his face was drooping down, his lower lip was drooping like 5 cm below his chin??? This kid at the shops had the same disfigurement. But unlike his African counterpart, I don’t think he will be able to get plastic surgery to fix it. I know I shouldn’t have stared at the kid. But it wasn’t like I was trying to make him feel bad. And I don’t think I was looking at him with repulsion. I was looking at him with empathy.
Once again, another innocent soul suffering – what for? You can’t say he was evil and deserved it, the kid was barely 12 y/o and nothing he has done in his whole existence would warrant such a disfigurement.
I hoped he realised that I wasn’t giving him a bad look…that I was actually giving him sympathy…or maybe he didn’t want it, and maybe he thought I was pitying him which he found pathetic for a woman of my age and my looks to have been offering. He raised the book he was reading to cover his face. I wished I had the courage to walk up to him and tell him not to shy from other people because it was not his fault that he looked that way – but then he might ask me who’s fault is it?
When I got home, I wondered whether he would have been bullied by the kids at school or perhaps the kids were encouraging and supportive because they knew it wasn’t his fault that he looks the way he does…I wondered how he would feel when he was older and wanted someone to love. You got to admit that this would be a HUGE handicap on the poor guy when he wants to start dating and meet that someone special. It’s hard as it is for the people who don’t have any facial disfigurements…
I realised that my parents have more of a social life than I do. They went on a double date last night. Enough said.
I picked up the brochure of the tour I will be going on next year…just keeping the idea alive…I like brochures with their glossy pages shining at me…hehehe.
One way to tell if dark chocolate is quality chocolate, is when you have a piece, it will be leaving you wanting some more…but after the second piece you are satisfied and you stop eating the chocolate. Green&Blacks Organic Dark Chocolate with soft Mint centres (70% cocoa). I bought a block from GNC, and it cured my sugar and chocolate craving and picked me up at 3:30pm.
Its funny how someone you never thought of, one day, says something to you that changes your life. A workmate of mine was talking to me on the company bus and he asked about my ex. I said that we weren’t together any more and he asked me why. I told him I’m not so sure, since the ex broke up with me. Then he just matter-of-factly said that “He doesn’t deserve you.” I know my friends have been saying the same thing. That's exactly something you would expect your friends to say…but when it comes from an acquaintance at work…who you didn’t think knew you so well…who says that and then justifies it…the new found knowledge resounds in the ear.
It made me feel realised.
I can’t believe he is married. I can’t wait until all is revealed…it will be a long wait until the book is released…darn those spoilers!!!
Additions:
I'm lucky that my mother likes keeping things in immaculate condition. I have been looking for nice leather belts to wear cinched at my waist with tops or dresses...and they are so expensive the nice ones, or they are really ugly the cheap ones...it got me thinking about how my mother use to wear belts in the 80's...and guess what? I found my source of pre-loved, mint conditioned leather or faux leather belts from my mother.
Weird thing (although it works out for the best) is that my mother use to wear these belts on her hips...they "just" fit on my waist (which is the look i was trying to achieve anyway). Can you believe it? My mother's hips were the size of my waist!!! Now, thats a quick realisation to make any girl go and purge...except i not capable of purging...i'd rather go eat myself fatter!
Do you ever look in the mirror and see yourself from a different perspective? I sometimes look in the mirror and see a simple girl with a bit of charm. There are days when i look in the mirror and understand how people figure that i'm "P's sister"...because i look like him. Those are the days that i look very masculine...and i wonder why is that so??? It seems as though the only thing that distinguishes me as female is the length of my hair. Yet, on those other days i look like a girl with or without the hair. Is it my eyes playing tricks on me?
I hate people taking photos of me. But i like keeping photographs for memory.
Spanish Film Festival has begun. I'm catching a movie tonight called Heartlift. I hope its interesting and inspirational. Or at least funny.
Sex & the City-a-thon this weekend.
I will be moving to the CBD shortly…they couldn’t find me a desk…so I will be given an office. I will be the only one who will have an office. The Manager of my manger wanted that room as his office…I think this is another moment where I could potentially be killing my career. You should never tread on the toes of your boss and take away something they want!
One of the projects I am working on is a fairly small one…so I’m going to be managing ONE guy. *LoL* I thought this was hilarious…the way the PM was giving me all the details and basically telling me to get this one guy to do everything! As M puts it “delegate, delegate, delegate”.
I saw this kid at the shopping centre last night. His face was horribly disfigured. Not sure if you would recall, there was a story on 60 minutes or on the news or ACA…and it was of an African kid (I think) where half his face was drooping down, his lower lip was drooping like 5 cm below his chin??? This kid at the shops had the same disfigurement. But unlike his African counterpart, I don’t think he will be able to get plastic surgery to fix it. I know I shouldn’t have stared at the kid. But it wasn’t like I was trying to make him feel bad. And I don’t think I was looking at him with repulsion. I was looking at him with empathy.
Once again, another innocent soul suffering – what for? You can’t say he was evil and deserved it, the kid was barely 12 y/o and nothing he has done in his whole existence would warrant such a disfigurement.
I hoped he realised that I wasn’t giving him a bad look…that I was actually giving him sympathy…or maybe he didn’t want it, and maybe he thought I was pitying him which he found pathetic for a woman of my age and my looks to have been offering. He raised the book he was reading to cover his face. I wished I had the courage to walk up to him and tell him not to shy from other people because it was not his fault that he looked that way – but then he might ask me who’s fault is it?
When I got home, I wondered whether he would have been bullied by the kids at school or perhaps the kids were encouraging and supportive because they knew it wasn’t his fault that he looks the way he does…I wondered how he would feel when he was older and wanted someone to love. You got to admit that this would be a HUGE handicap on the poor guy when he wants to start dating and meet that someone special. It’s hard as it is for the people who don’t have any facial disfigurements…
I realised that my parents have more of a social life than I do. They went on a double date last night. Enough said.
I picked up the brochure of the tour I will be going on next year…just keeping the idea alive…I like brochures with their glossy pages shining at me…hehehe.
One way to tell if dark chocolate is quality chocolate, is when you have a piece, it will be leaving you wanting some more…but after the second piece you are satisfied and you stop eating the chocolate. Green&Blacks Organic Dark Chocolate with soft Mint centres (70% cocoa). I bought a block from GNC, and it cured my sugar and chocolate craving and picked me up at 3:30pm.
Its funny how someone you never thought of, one day, says something to you that changes your life. A workmate of mine was talking to me on the company bus and he asked about my ex. I said that we weren’t together any more and he asked me why. I told him I’m not so sure, since the ex broke up with me. Then he just matter-of-factly said that “He doesn’t deserve you.” I know my friends have been saying the same thing. That's exactly something you would expect your friends to say…but when it comes from an acquaintance at work…who you didn’t think knew you so well…who says that and then justifies it…the new found knowledge resounds in the ear.
It made me feel realised.
I can’t believe he is married. I can’t wait until all is revealed…it will be a long wait until the book is released…darn those spoilers!!!
Additions:
I'm lucky that my mother likes keeping things in immaculate condition. I have been looking for nice leather belts to wear cinched at my waist with tops or dresses...and they are so expensive the nice ones, or they are really ugly the cheap ones...it got me thinking about how my mother use to wear belts in the 80's...and guess what? I found my source of pre-loved, mint conditioned leather or faux leather belts from my mother.
Weird thing (although it works out for the best) is that my mother use to wear these belts on her hips...they "just" fit on my waist (which is the look i was trying to achieve anyway). Can you believe it? My mother's hips were the size of my waist!!! Now, thats a quick realisation to make any girl go and purge...except i not capable of purging...i'd rather go eat myself fatter!
Do you ever look in the mirror and see yourself from a different perspective? I sometimes look in the mirror and see a simple girl with a bit of charm. There are days when i look in the mirror and understand how people figure that i'm "P's sister"...because i look like him. Those are the days that i look very masculine...and i wonder why is that so??? It seems as though the only thing that distinguishes me as female is the length of my hair. Yet, on those other days i look like a girl with or without the hair. Is it my eyes playing tricks on me?
I hate people taking photos of me. But i like keeping photographs for memory.
Spanish Film Festival has begun. I'm catching a movie tonight called Heartlift. I hope its interesting and inspirational. Or at least funny.
Sex & the City-a-thon this weekend.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Autumn in Paris...
I just realised that the weather were having right now (temperature wise)…I would be enjoying in Paris next year!!! How exciting is that???
I started saving yesterday…the first time in a long while…and I’m so happy that my plan is starting to move forward. I felt a bit blue in April, because it didn’t seem as though I was achieving anything for my trip to Europe next year. (It was really just one thing among other things which was causing me to feel blue).
But since I made the first transfer yesterday I feel like the weight on my shoulders is just “that” little bit lighter!
And then it just dawned on me this morning…glorious sunshine…bright blue sky…some gusty wind…all I was missing was some seasonal coloured leaves on the ground – that I assume, Paris will not be lacking when I am there in September/October next year. (I’m repeating myself…but I don’t care!)
What a notion? I’m so excited that I’m beside myself. *LoL*
I keep hearing the song “Spring time in Paris”…but I replace it with “Autumn in Paris”…
It was easy to decide on the tour, there was only one which ended in Paris and would stop in Spain for a few days. And that is the one I’m going on!
Suffering for a year by being frugal seems worth it right now…
Speaking of suffering...for a week, I have been thinking about how some people are really fortunate and then there were the rest of us.
Some people are just so lucky…they get everything they want…sometimes without even trying…but I know most often then not they worked their way to achieve it…or so I hope, otherwise that would be depressing…a group of people who didn’t have to try at anything and got exactly what they wanted and life just keep getting better for them.
I was feeling as though I was in the group of “the others”. Of late, life hasn’t been great…and I’m not just referring to my failed relationship with my ex. I’m referring to greater things that are better left unsaid. My gripe is that I believe that I’m a good person. I try to do the right thing all the time and always with good intentions. When I do the wrong thing, I feel guilty and apologise and try to learn from my mistake to never do it again.
So, why is that I feel as though I’m being punished for something major that I didn’t commit. Let’s not get into religion. I don’t want to hear about Adam and Eve…I’ve been reading this novel that seems to harp on religion so much because there is this oppressive monk that keeps on talking about the sins we commit…I think he is nuts…and I suspect he is the one going around killing the people in the streets…he is trying to purge Florence from the sinners and bring the city back to purity.
Back to the subject at hand. I believe that I’m a target of some sort, among the group of “others” who just aren’t fortunate to be happy once in a while. It really felt like the moment I was happy, I had to be stripped of this privilege. And I know that I can’t be the only one who has felt this way.
There must be people out there who feel as though they deserve something and yet no matter how hard they work, had yet to achieve or receive it…that they deserve the pay rise for staying back when needed. That they worked their butts off and should be able to own a house by now. Or that they haven’t done anything wrong to their wife/husband but are supportive and provided what they needed, and yet they got serviced with divorce papers...
There must be people out there who feel cheated with life.
Its utterly depressing…and I was probably utterly depressing for the last week thinking about how I was being ripped off by someone or something…that a cruel joke was being played out with my life. And when I look at my friends who have one thing but not the other…who are striving for their piece of happiness, and yet they are left out to hang dry on the clothes line…it gives me comfort to know that I’m not the only one who has been duped…but it saddens me that they haven’t reached their ray of sunshine – and why is that???
And why are there so many people suffering out there??? There are heaps of good people suffering quietly behind the doors…it just doesn’t seem fair that the good people who are suffering, keep on suffering…and those fortunate…just keep staying fortunate. When do things balance out so that the people who are suffering get their chance at feeling as though they are fortunate for once and the fortunate get served their share of the suffering so that they appreciate how their wonderful life was or is still???
I’m giving up pondering on this subject. Its so blue that its almost black.
Instead, I’m going to focus on my trip next year…Autumn in Paris…my journey…
And like I said, although I have to be a miser for a year…I know it will be worth it…well I don’t know, but I’m hoping…and for now, I don’t want to look into the darkness in search of the light at the end…I want to look into the brightness and be illuminated by the warmth so that I won’t be feeling cold.
I’m taking the optimistic approach now.
Rose-tinted sunnies sitting on the bridge of my nose, looking forward.
Autumn in Paris…browsing in the markets at Saint Ouen…lunch in a local bistro…sitting in a park and filling my sketch journal with some drawings…
I started saving yesterday…the first time in a long while…and I’m so happy that my plan is starting to move forward. I felt a bit blue in April, because it didn’t seem as though I was achieving anything for my trip to Europe next year. (It was really just one thing among other things which was causing me to feel blue).
But since I made the first transfer yesterday I feel like the weight on my shoulders is just “that” little bit lighter!
And then it just dawned on me this morning…glorious sunshine…bright blue sky…some gusty wind…all I was missing was some seasonal coloured leaves on the ground – that I assume, Paris will not be lacking when I am there in September/October next year. (I’m repeating myself…but I don’t care!)
What a notion? I’m so excited that I’m beside myself. *LoL*
I keep hearing the song “Spring time in Paris”…but I replace it with “Autumn in Paris”…
It was easy to decide on the tour, there was only one which ended in Paris and would stop in Spain for a few days. And that is the one I’m going on!
Suffering for a year by being frugal seems worth it right now…
Speaking of suffering...for a week, I have been thinking about how some people are really fortunate and then there were the rest of us.
Some people are just so lucky…they get everything they want…sometimes without even trying…but I know most often then not they worked their way to achieve it…or so I hope, otherwise that would be depressing…a group of people who didn’t have to try at anything and got exactly what they wanted and life just keep getting better for them.
I was feeling as though I was in the group of “the others”. Of late, life hasn’t been great…and I’m not just referring to my failed relationship with my ex. I’m referring to greater things that are better left unsaid. My gripe is that I believe that I’m a good person. I try to do the right thing all the time and always with good intentions. When I do the wrong thing, I feel guilty and apologise and try to learn from my mistake to never do it again.
So, why is that I feel as though I’m being punished for something major that I didn’t commit. Let’s not get into religion. I don’t want to hear about Adam and Eve…I’ve been reading this novel that seems to harp on religion so much because there is this oppressive monk that keeps on talking about the sins we commit…I think he is nuts…and I suspect he is the one going around killing the people in the streets…he is trying to purge Florence from the sinners and bring the city back to purity.
Back to the subject at hand. I believe that I’m a target of some sort, among the group of “others” who just aren’t fortunate to be happy once in a while. It really felt like the moment I was happy, I had to be stripped of this privilege. And I know that I can’t be the only one who has felt this way.
There must be people out there who feel as though they deserve something and yet no matter how hard they work, had yet to achieve or receive it…that they deserve the pay rise for staying back when needed. That they worked their butts off and should be able to own a house by now. Or that they haven’t done anything wrong to their wife/husband but are supportive and provided what they needed, and yet they got serviced with divorce papers...
There must be people out there who feel cheated with life.
Its utterly depressing…and I was probably utterly depressing for the last week thinking about how I was being ripped off by someone or something…that a cruel joke was being played out with my life. And when I look at my friends who have one thing but not the other…who are striving for their piece of happiness, and yet they are left out to hang dry on the clothes line…it gives me comfort to know that I’m not the only one who has been duped…but it saddens me that they haven’t reached their ray of sunshine – and why is that???
And why are there so many people suffering out there??? There are heaps of good people suffering quietly behind the doors…it just doesn’t seem fair that the good people who are suffering, keep on suffering…and those fortunate…just keep staying fortunate. When do things balance out so that the people who are suffering get their chance at feeling as though they are fortunate for once and the fortunate get served their share of the suffering so that they appreciate how their wonderful life was or is still???
I’m giving up pondering on this subject. Its so blue that its almost black.
Instead, I’m going to focus on my trip next year…Autumn in Paris…my journey…
And like I said, although I have to be a miser for a year…I know it will be worth it…well I don’t know, but I’m hoping…and for now, I don’t want to look into the darkness in search of the light at the end…I want to look into the brightness and be illuminated by the warmth so that I won’t be feeling cold.
I’m taking the optimistic approach now.
Rose-tinted sunnies sitting on the bridge of my nose, looking forward.
Autumn in Paris…browsing in the markets at Saint Ouen…lunch in a local bistro…sitting in a park and filling my sketch journal with some drawings…
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Battered
Since I’m trying to save money for my trip I decided to keep myself busy with the things that I already have. For instance, I have a lot of paints, an easel and calico that are primed to be painted...I should take up painting again. I have two sketch books, an A4 book and another - a sketch journal, heaps of lead pencils...I should start drawing again.
I have paid for my yearly gym membership back in March...so the plan is, I will go to the gym for 5 days (or more) a week...which in all is beneficial. I have put on a few kilos and things have started to well, not fit as nicely as they use to.
I have let myself grieve (translation: wallow in a slothlike manner) for a month now. It's time to get my life back together. So, I engaged a guy at the gym to help me work on my abs. If you ever need to workout your abs, call Mark. (Asian man in his late 40’s possibly even 50, part Nazi, but you are guaranteed to get results!) Abs are always on Mondays @ 6:30pm. So, I started my training with Mark yesterday and I plan to flatten things out (i.e. my belly) in a month!
My workout plan is as follows:
Monday – Cardio (>75 minutes), Abs with Mark (30-60 minutes)
Tuesday – Cardio (>100 minutes), Body Balance
Wednesday – Cardio (>75 minutes), Arms/Shoulder/Back (60 minutes)
Thursday – Cardio (>100 minutes), Body Balance
Friday – Cardio (>75 minutes), Hip/Butt/Thighs (60 minutes)
Saturday – Possible Cardio or Body Balance, Hip/Butt/Thighs (60 minutes) if missed on Friday.
Sunday – Possible Cardio or Circuit Training, Hip/Butt/Thighs (60 minutes) if missed on Friday.
Last Thursday, I did my own training session on my abs, and for the rest of the weekend if I sneezed or coughed or laughed, it would hurt. But it was the good hurt. It’s the kind of hurt that lets you know that you have done a good workout.
On Sunday I went back to the gym and decided to work my arms, back, shoulders, chest, hip, butt and thighs...(as well as cardio for about 90 minutes). Basically, I felt fine after the training session, but due to the circuit room being used for the Circuit Class, I couldn’t use the stretch mats at the gym and when I got home I did a quick stretch, but it obviously wasn’t enough. I woke up Monday morning with an awfully sore back and I couldn’t lift my arms. Although I worked my abs last night, the pain will be delayed until tomorrow. Today, I can feel my thighs squeal with agony each time I walk.
This may sound like torture, and I do feel completely battered, but it’s all well and good. It puts me to sleep so easily now (not that i really had a problem sleeping before), because my body is exhausted. After each session, I waddle around the house because my feet are sore from the workout. Hahaha...I’m like a duck!
The thing is...you are bound to be in pain if you worked out properly...and then your body is going to get used to it...and then you either increase the weights or do more repetitions, run a bit further or longer...challenging your body to do more than you ever expected it to.
I’ve decided that I won’t do the diet thing. It’s so boring. I like food and I will always like food. I just need to eat less junk for comfort. I should also try to remember quality versus quantity.
I borrowed the boxset of Sex & the City from my brother's gf. She's watched it twice already...so i thought i would spend my weekends watching all of it, but i have only managed to finish Season 1. With 5 more Seasons to go! *LoL*
I'm such a couch potato...thankfully i'm now going to the gym to balance things out. Weekends are now for recuperation and will remain for lounging around. I should pick up a pencil or a paint brush...or maybe one of the books i've bought to read...but the DVD collection we have is too tempting to mention. And then there are the One Piece episodes my brother has on the computer...
E and i are planning on doing a Sex & the City-a-thon or an Ellen-a-thon or even a Will & Grace-a-thon. I have a popcorn machine, which airpops the kernels...the deal is i bring it over! *LoL* Simple. He is trying to save for his trip too.
So, i will keep on battering my body to exhaustion by going to the gym and we'll see what happens in a months time!
I can smell it.
Success is just around the corner...
Or maybe thats just cake?
I have paid for my yearly gym membership back in March...so the plan is, I will go to the gym for 5 days (or more) a week...which in all is beneficial. I have put on a few kilos and things have started to well, not fit as nicely as they use to.
I have let myself grieve (translation: wallow in a slothlike manner) for a month now. It's time to get my life back together. So, I engaged a guy at the gym to help me work on my abs. If you ever need to workout your abs, call Mark. (Asian man in his late 40’s possibly even 50, part Nazi, but you are guaranteed to get results!) Abs are always on Mondays @ 6:30pm. So, I started my training with Mark yesterday and I plan to flatten things out (i.e. my belly) in a month!
My workout plan is as follows:
Monday – Cardio (>75 minutes), Abs with Mark (30-60 minutes)
Tuesday – Cardio (>100 minutes), Body Balance
Wednesday – Cardio (>75 minutes), Arms/Shoulder/Back (60 minutes)
Thursday – Cardio (>100 minutes), Body Balance
Friday – Cardio (>75 minutes), Hip/Butt/Thighs (60 minutes)
Saturday – Possible Cardio or Body Balance, Hip/Butt/Thighs (60 minutes) if missed on Friday.
Sunday – Possible Cardio or Circuit Training, Hip/Butt/Thighs (60 minutes) if missed on Friday.
Last Thursday, I did my own training session on my abs, and for the rest of the weekend if I sneezed or coughed or laughed, it would hurt. But it was the good hurt. It’s the kind of hurt that lets you know that you have done a good workout.
On Sunday I went back to the gym and decided to work my arms, back, shoulders, chest, hip, butt and thighs...(as well as cardio for about 90 minutes). Basically, I felt fine after the training session, but due to the circuit room being used for the Circuit Class, I couldn’t use the stretch mats at the gym and when I got home I did a quick stretch, but it obviously wasn’t enough. I woke up Monday morning with an awfully sore back and I couldn’t lift my arms. Although I worked my abs last night, the pain will be delayed until tomorrow. Today, I can feel my thighs squeal with agony each time I walk.
This may sound like torture, and I do feel completely battered, but it’s all well and good. It puts me to sleep so easily now (not that i really had a problem sleeping before), because my body is exhausted. After each session, I waddle around the house because my feet are sore from the workout. Hahaha...I’m like a duck!
The thing is...you are bound to be in pain if you worked out properly...and then your body is going to get used to it...and then you either increase the weights or do more repetitions, run a bit further or longer...challenging your body to do more than you ever expected it to.
I’ve decided that I won’t do the diet thing. It’s so boring. I like food and I will always like food. I just need to eat less junk for comfort. I should also try to remember quality versus quantity.
I borrowed the boxset of Sex & the City from my brother's gf. She's watched it twice already...so i thought i would spend my weekends watching all of it, but i have only managed to finish Season 1. With 5 more Seasons to go! *LoL*
I'm such a couch potato...thankfully i'm now going to the gym to balance things out. Weekends are now for recuperation and will remain for lounging around. I should pick up a pencil or a paint brush...or maybe one of the books i've bought to read...but the DVD collection we have is too tempting to mention. And then there are the One Piece episodes my brother has on the computer...
E and i are planning on doing a Sex & the City-a-thon or an Ellen-a-thon or even a Will & Grace-a-thon. I have a popcorn machine, which airpops the kernels...the deal is i bring it over! *LoL* Simple. He is trying to save for his trip too.
So, i will keep on battering my body to exhaustion by going to the gym and we'll see what happens in a months time!
I can smell it.
Success is just around the corner...
Or maybe thats just cake?
Monday, May 01, 2006
Pleasantly Forgettable...
Look at her. She has a round face, average brown eyes, medium full lips and long black hair.
On the street, if your eyes meet, you would think that she was pleasant enough, but the moment you walked on by, you wouldn’t remember anything about her, she would be forgotten.
She isn’t particularly pretty. There aren’t any features about her that stand out. Nor does she have any distinct disfigurement to speak of. Although, it would be unfair to refer to her as ugly, because…well, she is not.
Her charm, if you can call it such, is in her polite manners. That’s why the Old Man is in love with her. You could put it on her mother for teaching her so well. “Always respect your elders, say hello to them when you see them.”
That’s exactly what the girl did when she saw the Old Man on the street. She would give him a curt smile and say hello. Then she would progress to do whatever she had planned to.
I guess it’s a rare thing to witness young ones these days, paying respect to elders. He couldn’t remember the last time his grandchildren were so polite with his friends or anyone older than them. He felt fortunate that the girl validated his existence everyday.
People may find it odd that an old man the age of her grandfather, was so taken by her, enchanted. She is nowhere near beautiful. She isn’t even cute. The only feature that one might notice is her hair. Long and black and at times would reflect light like a river.
I wonder if he has ever looked into her eyes. I wonder if he has seen her sorrow that is kept under lock and key within her heart. Perhaps then she would leave an impression on the Old Man far greater than the self satisfaction that she provides with the simple hello.
Lately, she has been hiding. Harbouring a lot of pain and fearing the day she has to face the world. The Old Man misses his hellos. He bumps into her mother on the street and tells her that she is fortunate to have such a good daughter; that her daughter is so well mannered and polite. He dares not ask what has happened to her daughter. Discretion is a virtue. But nevertheless he is wondering what has come of the girl, as he speaks to her mother.
I guess, no one will ever know what has happened to the pleasantly forgettable girl. But, will anyone remember to ask her mother of her?
On the street, if your eyes meet, you would think that she was pleasant enough, but the moment you walked on by, you wouldn’t remember anything about her, she would be forgotten.
She isn’t particularly pretty. There aren’t any features about her that stand out. Nor does she have any distinct disfigurement to speak of. Although, it would be unfair to refer to her as ugly, because…well, she is not.
Her charm, if you can call it such, is in her polite manners. That’s why the Old Man is in love with her. You could put it on her mother for teaching her so well. “Always respect your elders, say hello to them when you see them.”
That’s exactly what the girl did when she saw the Old Man on the street. She would give him a curt smile and say hello. Then she would progress to do whatever she had planned to.
I guess it’s a rare thing to witness young ones these days, paying respect to elders. He couldn’t remember the last time his grandchildren were so polite with his friends or anyone older than them. He felt fortunate that the girl validated his existence everyday.
People may find it odd that an old man the age of her grandfather, was so taken by her, enchanted. She is nowhere near beautiful. She isn’t even cute. The only feature that one might notice is her hair. Long and black and at times would reflect light like a river.
I wonder if he has ever looked into her eyes. I wonder if he has seen her sorrow that is kept under lock and key within her heart. Perhaps then she would leave an impression on the Old Man far greater than the self satisfaction that she provides with the simple hello.
Lately, she has been hiding. Harbouring a lot of pain and fearing the day she has to face the world. The Old Man misses his hellos. He bumps into her mother on the street and tells her that she is fortunate to have such a good daughter; that her daughter is so well mannered and polite. He dares not ask what has happened to her daughter. Discretion is a virtue. But nevertheless he is wondering what has come of the girl, as he speaks to her mother.
I guess, no one will ever know what has happened to the pleasantly forgettable girl. But, will anyone remember to ask her mother of her?
