Mon père...

I often talk about my mother...like it was her birthday on Saturday...i took her out to lunch and my brother paid for dinner later that evening.

I talk about how my mother is so talented and is a brilliant dressmaker.

I tend to not talk about my father's accomplishment.

Its not that i have a problem talking about such things and there are many achievements that i can talk about...i just dont.

I dont hesitate when the opportunity arise, either.

For instance, the bus driver of the company bus noted that he had never been into the Chinese Gardens at Darling Harbour and that he should really make a visit. This triggered me to mention that my father was one of the men in my Great Uncle's team who helped build the structures in the garden.

My father was also one of the men who built the home for the panda's when they visited from China (way back when) at Taronga Zoo. I remember this fondly, because we ended up going to see the panda's after the construction was completed and the panda's were comfortably housed.

On a smaller scale he had worked on some restructural constructions inside the restaurant - East Ocean.

Dad built the shelf in my room where i put my shoes. He built the desk my older brother used during high school. He built one of the wall units that now houses the portraits of my grandparents and the incense holders. The lattice work outside the front of the house was also made by him.

So, Dad is very talented & brilliant too...

I'm guessing that my creativity stems from both my parents. The fact that i'm hands on with everything i do also comes from Dad as much as Mum.

(lit: My father...)

Toujours une demoiselle d'honneur, jamais une jeune mariée...

I bought a pair of silver satin shoes for some weddings i will be attending that i could also use for my friend's wedding where i will be one of the bridesmaids. And since its more pertinent that the shoes will match my dress when i am a bridesmaid, i asked her to bring my dress over to my place when she visited her mother last Sunday. (She lives a distance away, while her mother is actually in my local area).

I tried on the shoes and then slipped the dress over my head and tugged on the zipper. To my horror, I couldnt zip myself up.

=(

I'm too FAT!!!!

I first did the rounds of trying on gowns for her wedding in December-January 06/07. It had to be made, so she paid for the dresses and i had forgotten about it ever since. I can't believe that in 7 months...i had managed to put on weight...so much that i cant zip the damn thing!!!

~~~>_<~~~

I can only zip it up to under my bustline. And then i'm stuck!!!

I knew i had put on a little bit of weight compared to what i averaged the last couple of years, but not more than what i weighed in January this year...I thought i was still roughly the same...i didnt think i had put on so much that the dress wouldnt fit!!!

Mum has offered to fix the dress for me...but i dont want her to.

Now, I am on a mission.

TO GET INTO THAT FREAKIN' DRESS (AND LOOK DAMN GOOD TOO)!!!

The bride-to-be had a moment yesterday where she realised how unreliable the other bridesmaid would be...she saw a hint of it previously...but something else happened yesterday that really ticked the bride-to-be off. This wedding is gonna be a loooooooonnnnnngggggggg day for me.

We started a beginners ballroom dancing course last night. The whole bridal party is attending and it was fun, but i cant salsa. I can cha-cha, jive, and rock'n'roll...but am unable to salsa the most basic steps.

Lets see if i improve next week.

(lit: Always a bridesmaid, never a bride...)

Enchante...

(Pronounced: on.shon.tay)

Life is funny in almost every circumstance.

Like shopping with my mother every weekend...ritualistically...meeting all these people - her friends...their children sometimes...

Being single and more the fear of dying lonely with no one to bury me when my turn arrives makes me sit and wonder sometimes.

There are the people who are fortunately charmed and everything seems to go there way. And there are the others who dont lead such a charming life. I come across a lot of people, but i have been trained to keep to myself and and pretty much avoid eye contact.

I dont try to make conversations with strangers. But i have an ability to have friendly conversations with say the stranger that is serving me at the cafe or the local fruit grocer...etc...

I am sometimes lucky, but i dont have it all.

With my weekly ritual my mum goes to this one asian grocer and always chit chats with the owner and their sons. The older of the two sons had a crush on me about 8 years ago...I was young and he was a smoker...sooo not my type. And in the end his parents forced him to marry a girl from Vietnam whom they had arranged for the two of them with her parents when they were toddlers. Weird, i know...who'd actually go through with the arrange marriages their parents set up yonks ago, in this day and age - all willingly?!

His younger brother i knew only by face, because he went to the same highschool as i did and is a year or two younger than my older brother. He would on occasion help his parents out at the grocery store on the weekend and my mother would chat to him whenever we'd drop by. He would always ask my mother what she would be cooking that night and ask if he could come over? My mother would say "sure thing...and dont just say you are and not show up! I'll get angry with you..." She said that jokingly and he never did show up.

The thing is, i never thought he was attractive. And when i saw him, i'd keep to myself and patiently wait for my mother to buy whatever she needed and when she would appear out of the store, the two of them would joke while i grabbed the bags from her to carry the bags to the car. I didnt even say hello to him, nor did he say hello to me...not until maybe 2 years ago did we speak a little to eachother.

After speaking to one another, i guess i saw him in a different light and i noticed that he had a nice smile...that he was cute in a very quirky way...and that this guy genuinely liked chatting to my mother...he didnt do it just out of politeness.

I think its very hard to find a guy who will get along THAT well with my mum. Not that she is a difficult person to get along with...but the two of them talk like friends...and well, its nice to see that.

There are some things word just cant express. Sometimes we'd look at eachother. He would notice something. I would notice something. We're probably not thinking the exact same thing, but were on the same wavelength...and its some form of enlightenment that transcends verbal communication.

I do believe that he finds me mysterious and interesting, because i dont often say anything more than a "Hi!" to him. And i have the tendency to look at something or someone and smile or laugh to myself...and he has the tendency to catch me in the action of doing so.

He was there at the store today. We said hello and i stood to the side waiting for my mother like the diligent daughter i am, he was talking to his parents and as my mother and i left we noticed a girl with him.

When my mother and i got into the car i told her that he caught me laughing to myself when i saw this old lady try on this hat. Mum later mentioned that he was getting married in September this year.

I then realised that i could have, would have, should have...but its too late.

I put it down on the fact that it was one of those moments where i was the unfortunate one.

It just wasnt meant to be.

There is a saying in Vietnamese that my mother often quotes...and it seems befitting this moment.

We both didnt have the "charm"...

(lit: Pleased to meet you...)

M'épouserez-vous?

I had lunch with a friend today and was told about a friend we both know. That the mutual friend was going o/s to marry someone he has only had phone conversations with for the past 6 months and plans on going over to marry the girl in a Las Vegas style wedding.

There are twists here...its not a straight and simple connection of 2 single people meeting online and finding love across all the expanse of water and land via the cyber-highway.

She is currently seeing someone long distance. Has not broken up with the current bf, but feels that she can marry this mutual friend.

For me, I just couldnt do it. I would not be flying over to meet the person...I wouldnt even be thinking about marrying them - knowing that they had someone and still hadnt broken up with them...even after supposedly committing themself to you.

Its too wacky for words.

I am a known sceptic...but I do wish the mutual friend all the best - no one wants a friend to be hurt especially from a broken heart...but am i the only one who thinks this situation is too much left of the centre?

(lit: Will you marry me?)

Dermatologue...

A girls best friends, i think are: water, SPF30+, laughter and a good dermatologist.

Some may want to add to this list and rightly so, depending on their needs, but i would highly recommend a good female dermatologist for all of our girly needs pertaining to skin and hair.

It brings a world of difference when you find a truly talented dermatologist. One who is open and honest and understands what you are talking about...

I have found one and she has helped me return my skin back to the days where i didnt have pimples. I see her now whenever i have a skin problem. She likes to chat too. So, it is quite easy to visit her without having to feel like you are about to be interrogated. The only hang up of visiting such a good dermatologist is waiting to actually go in and see them.

(lit: Dermatologist...)

I gotta tell you about Milan...

For the past few voicemails left on my mobile by L&E...they have repeated the same line over and over and over and over and over and over and over...You get the drift...

And the line is "I gotta tell you about Milan"...

But in the message itself...they say that line, but they dont say what about Milan. I guess they are trying to keep me interested by messing with my mind.

And they keep mentioning "Susan".

But "Susan", brings back bad memories of a girl at Uni that had a thing for our G! And L&E know it too.

The last message listed a number of people on their tour, a couple of 80-something year old people, someone knocking their head and the Canadian couple laughing at the poor person who knocked their head, i think there was 2 guys (can't remember where L/E said that they were from) but one talks and the other doesnt...

And the surprise of the day...?

I came home and spied some writing on a postcard that looked familiar...it looked like L's handwriting. So, i picked it up and read it. Sure enough it was addressed to me and the message on the left read:

PETALS,

WERE THINKING OF YOU IN ITALY....

LOTS & LOTS & LOTS
OF LOVE
L&E
xxx

I flipped over to see what was on the postcard and it was Michelangelo's David - but the focus is on his specific part!!!

I told and showed my Mum, and she told me that she was outside by the letterbox with her friend when she took the letters out of the letterbox and her friend asked what it was? Mum saw it upside down without her glasses and said it was a flower in bloom! *RofL*

They both looked closer and had a heartattack when they realised that it was David's man bits.

At least Mum recognised it was Michelangelo's David! *LoL*

Un jour chez Luna Park...

My Saturday was crazy.

I had booked my specialist appointment before knowing my cousin and 2 kids were coming to visit us from Melbourne. So, the week had been pretty hectic. A lot of dinners and throughout the week, it was tag team - where my younger brother on his days off would take our cousin + kids around town...and then on my older brother's days off he would take her and the kids + his own kids around town...and since i only have weekends free...I was to take them around town on Saturday and Sunday.

Saturday - took them along while Mum and i were getting grocery...so we had breakfast and did some shopping...then it was a quick dash to the specialist...but when we get there, i find that the family would have to wait for an hour with me, so i decided to take them to the local Westfields so at least they could shop or sit around and get some food, etc while waiting for me. So, i drive in and park the car walk them in and leave them to walk back to the doctor's office, no point in driving back and forth if i can walk there. After the doctor's appointment i go back to Westfields and then rush to Medicare, because i dont know when the next time i would be near one, so i powerwalk to the Medicare office only to find that they have relocated back inside Westfields!!!

WTF???

Its a race against time. I was worried that i wouldnt make it to the Medicare on time as it was almost noon. In the process of powerwalking to and from i called my cousin and told her what was happening...so i powerwalked...they followed...when i had to rush back to the shopping centre...the stayed at the park whilst i did my thing and then would meet me back in the shopping centre.

It was a crazy hectic day.

Sunday - Luna Park, Harbour Bridge/Opera House, Darling Harbour.

We only made to 3 out of the 4 and the Harbour Bridge was done via the fact that the train went over it and from looking at it at the Opera House.

Luna Park was great but really cold during the day. There was a lot of fun and laughter but some of the kids got really grumpy and it was really eating on my nerves. Since my nieces and nephew were born, i have become more tolerant, but not as much as their respective mothers. The kids are great until they get grumpy and even the older ones can be extremely difficult to handle...because its clear that they are grumpy but they wont tell you what is wrong no matter which technique you use to extract it, its worse than going to the dentist!

So, we caught a train around 9am all the way to Milson's Point...walked to Luna Park...unleashed 4 happy screaming kids inside...Mums waited while Aunty chapperoned them on the rides. After a number of negotiations with the kids, we hopped onto a ferry from Milson's Point to Circular Quay and then walked over to the Opera House. A number of happy snaps with some grumpy faces, 1 child desperately needs to go do a pee-pee...so Aunty rushes down with kid in arms hands child over to Mum...Aunty sits and waits by the pram.

Aunty notices that its 1pm and we havent had lunch, so we trek back to Circular Quay and hop onto a bus to go to Chinatown. We would have gone to Darling Harbour after lunch but unfortunately, 2 out of the 4 kids had a dentist appointment at 3:30pm. So, by the time lunch ended, we had to go back to Central station and catch a train home for the dentist appointment.

During this whole escapade between the Opera House and home, one child in particular was getting on my nerves. No matter how i would reason with her, she was so stubburn and sooky and so badly behaved, i cant believe that she is "this" close to my bloodline!!!

I asked Mum if i was that horrible as a child and she told me not to that extent. At home, yes i was naughty fighting with my older brother...but when we were out and about i would always hold her hand and cling to her side.

Today, i woke up feeling extremely buggered. I'm sooo tired and its not from all the walking yesterday. Its the mental strain of yesterday and the past week.

I dont think i would ever want a big family. Having four kids in my house is a headache and its too much to handle when you are so use to keeping an eye out on two.

I must commend those single mums or dads who actually bring up their multiple kids right. And those parents who have 4 or more, who bring up their kids right should get a pat on their backs too! Its a really really really tough job.

I couldnt do it.

(lit: A day at Luna Park)

partie deux...

I went to the same ticket booth at the trainstation this morning to get the same ticket for the same fare as yesterday.

I came across the same ticket booth attendant.

I said "Good Morning!"

And he grinned from ear to ear and told me "Good Morning!"

I asked for the same ticket and he enquired if i had a weekly ticket? I actually bought a ticket from the beginning of the year until my last working day before i fly to Europe. Thats about 8 months worth of fare...

For the sake of conversation, i told him, yes i had a City weekly and i was going to a training course in Nth Sydney today (as i did yesterday).

He said to me - "Oh, then you should keep today's ticket and yesterday's as a receipt. So, you can claim back on tax!"

God bless him.

(lit: part two...)

Et j'ai dit bonjour...

It was probably a quarter past 7 in the mornin'...I went up to the ticket counter and asked for a ticket connecting Wynyard and North Sydney, but before making my request i opened with a "Hello!" which seemed to make his day.

Its funny how a simple 'Hello' with a smile can make the world a difference.

He was so cheerful towards me after that, that i started to think if he had a spare million $$$ to hand over, he would have gladly done so.

How sweet it is to be able to turn someone's day around like that!

I should endeavour to remember in future how little the effort it is to say hello and smile to reap the benefits of making someone else happy.

I had to go to Nth Syd today for MS Project training course! Yes, i asked my company to send me to do this course because i'm stuck doing schedules for my projects and i realise that i am doing certain things that are deemed "bad practice"...so this course is righting the wrongs i have picked up fumbling my way through, trying to use the application.

Its for 2 days and already i feel really good about attending. The trainer is a perky Swedish lady, who is soo clever - i am glad to be a student in her class. She knows so much and quite frankly, she bends over backwards to ensure that the whole class is up to speed.

Highlight of the day for me was learning all these nifty short cuts and learning from the trainer the proper methods of organising relationships and constraints for my tasks...and i got a chance to explain to someone in the group about the purpose of baselining schedules (in which the trainer didnt quite understand where this person's question was coming from). I felt quite knowledgeable...how cool is that?

I go back to work on Friday for more training on a new application that is being brought into the company due to our close working relationship with our major client. Then the following week i have another training session for some new PM tool being intro'd for our project services group...reportedly, eliminating our project checklists, issues & risk registers, incorporating SAP financials, and supposedly shorten our project reporting because all the details will be encapsulated in this one tool.

I highly doubt it will make any of my work easier...i forsee my workload doubling...geez, i hate being psychic!
;p

(lit: And i said hello...)

Rapports...

Its really uplifting to see & hear about your workmates and their partners getting along really well. Yes, they probably have issues to deal with, but its obvious that they know how to deal with the issues and to hear that they are both working at it together shows me that it is possible to be in a relationship that has longevity.

I have friends who are in long term relationships, but its not the same as my workmates who have been married for 15 years+. And its not that i dont believe that they can last that long, its more that that would mean i was looking into the future, while my workmates relationships is currently the present...and that view holds more weight currently.

I wish i could say that my parents married and had a blissful marriage right in front of me, to look up to, and hope that one day I would be part of such a relationship...but i cant.

Theirs is not horrendous, but it wasnt coming up roses either.

So, i guess thats why i look to others for that sense of hope...and my workmates who have gotten the relationships right, would be good examples for observation and inspiration.

(lit: Relationships...)

Bonjour, nous sommes en Italie!

I know it should really be: "Ciao, siamo in Italia!", but i thought i should keep with my French theme.

Last night was one of those oddly well-coordinated nights. I seemed to have gotten everything done in a timely fashion, and there was one last thing to do...return my alterna-date's missed call.

So, i returned his call about the DSLR he bought from the JB-HiFi my brother works at.

Normally, i put my mobile back in my bag so that i dont forget to bring it to work the next day. I mean, i wake up so early, the last thing i want to do at 6am is scramble to find my missing mobile, because i accidentally misplaced it somewhere the night before.

But i did leave my phone in my room last night, on top of the cardi i planned on wearing today.

And of all nights (it was in fact morning - but it was pitch black, so i'll stick with night), L&E decide to start those prank calls from Europe. I get a call at 5:15am from an unknown number...and stoopid me, i answered the call!

The instant i picked up they started the ranting and raving...and i recognised their voices...and i also recognised the "we just landed and we already got screwed...why did you pick up?!??!?"

I knew that they should have landed in Italy sometime yesterday...i just didnt know what time. I know the drill. Turn my voicemail on...well, don't turn voicemail off, as it is usually on for work purposes...so that they can leave drunken messages at 3am or "crank" calls of the cranky "we just got screwed and its all your fault" variety.

Every holiday they have together, i get a number of voicemails left on my mobile messaging service, and quite frankly its the highlight of my morning to hear them on the line. *LoL*

(1) I know that although they suffered mishaps from being screwed by the locals...that they are in fact safe & fine, and laughing their heads off after it.
(2) I get my daily dose of laughter and get an ab workout.
(3) It gives me material to tell my workmates about my crazy friends currently in Europe!

Now, i need to practice leaving my phone on silent or turning it off at night...because there's like 4-5 weeks of these calls. It doesnt happen every night, so its always a surprise and well worth it!

***

I've realised that i take my friends for granted...and im sure most people are the same...they dont intentionally do so and perhaps dont realise. But with the way things are: whether you are busy because of your new relationship with your partner, you're busy with family, you're busy studying, etc...especially if they are your good friends...you expect them to be around and the same goes for you...they might expect you to always be around.

And then at some point you realise that you should really make an effort to keep the friendship going.

I'm trying to make the effort and become a better daughter, sister, and friend.

I realised that I should really be grateful for my life and current situation.

It might not be as charming as others. And i might not have scored a hat trick, being: love/health/career...but 1.5 out of the 3 is 50% and thats an underestimation. But life isnt all that bad. I'm going to Europe in less than 2 months time. I should be able to go to SG/KL in December...and when my review occurs at the end of this year, I will know if should be able to get to Japan in April...which is pending on my payrise and hopefully promotion.

So, i really cant complain.

And if i do ever complain, dear friends...please pinch me.

(lit: Hello, we are in Italy!)