progrès...?

Its been a while since i last wrote...i think i was sick...and then i got sick but in a different way and during that time i was thinking and considering my next career move.

The possibilities out there are abundant right now. And i am getting heaps of positive feedback. Quite frankly, i'm being offered interviews on a weekly basis...

I'm just being awfully selective. I'm comfy where i am right now. I'm going to Europe in about 3 months time...some companies dont want to deal with that right now...I fully understand...which is why im turning down interviews more than attending them.

I went to an interview...only 1 of about 6 I actually even considered...but it really got me thinking.

The opportunity is actually fantastic. The money and perks being offered is ideal. He was willing to consider bringing in a temp to fill up my 5 weeks of leave - if the Programme Mgr's Manager was cool with the idea. I was offered a second round interview right after the first interview...

When i went home, i started to really think about my career...where do i really want to go with it? How am i going to do it? Am i going to take the shortest but surest route to get there? Or can i prolong it by 6 - 12 more months and achieve it in a bit of a roundabout way, and still get there in the end? Should i take the one offering more money...? I mean, reality check...I have a mortgage to my name that i would like to pay off ASAP.

I spoke to Mum about it. I spoke with a couple of friends. E really put things into perspective for me. It was short and simple. Go with the place that pays for the highest accreditation you can get...as soon as you can get it! In the end, after the accreditation...i will be able to ask for more anyway...and i was leaning towards this all along...but the change...the money!

So, i decided to stay with my current employer.


The interview was a good experience none the less. I now know that i am perfectly comfortable in selling myself as a PM. I know that i can impress the people worth impressing under such circumstances. Which at the end of the day, is a good skill to have - who knows when you will be made redundant or decide to leave and look for something new?

My managers (client side) know about the interviews...well the ones i have asked to be my referees.

They are all wishing me bad luck or that i fail...or that the company that im interviewing for, fails in my eyes. They dont want to lose me, but they know the reality of having a mortgage...most have their own...and the fact that theirs is with their wives and mine is on my lonesome...they understand the need for me to make more money.

And its not that money is everything. If i didnt have the mortgage...i wouldnt be too fussed, because i would be comfortable. With the mortgage...its not as comfortable as you would imagine.

Like, come on...i have to start thinking about my future. Who else will do it for me?

I'm not in a position to marry someone in the near future or the luxury to think of a different path to where i am headed.

I'm single. I'm independent. I need to grow my own wealth for my own future. How else will i retire comfortably? If i continue the way i am now, its not like i will have kids to rely on in my old age. And i wouldnt want to rely on my children. Even when i am old and grey, i would like to retain my independence.

So, right now...i have to look at things strategically and objectively. I want to maximise the opportunities that are presented to me and use them to my advantage. The choices i have to make from now on, must be of a benefit - otherwise its not worth making.

I received a long overdue email from a manager who was made redundant at the client side in January this year. It came on a Monday...(about a week ago)...and i replied before 8:30am that day. He called me back...we arranged for a coffee at 11am...I sat down with him and he basically advised me that at the new company he currently resides with...they are restructuring the company and he will be able to build his own team in a couple months time. He was advising me this because he basically wants me to join him when the time comes.

I have never worked with this manager - ever. We spoke to each other on a personal level on a day to day basis. He would make fun of me, really, and i would take the p!ss out of him. He didnt say to me "I want you to be part of my team in a couple months time"...but he asked me where i was at in this point in time...i told him about the interview i just had...he asked me where i wanted to be in 2 years...what i would like to earn in 5 years...and basically advised me what he could offer if i joined "their" company.

This colleague has been a deep well of knowledge and advice. I'm in debted to him for a lot of defining moments (career wise). We are both USYD Alumni and we joke about it too. I asked him why me? We have never worked with one another. He said he could tell that i was very good at what i do. He had heard me on teleconferences at my desk...on phone calls with clients...basically it was the way i held myself...im bright...ambitious, but willing to work for what i want to achieve...he said that he didnt have to work with me to know that he wanted me on his team.

You know, a couple months time is a good schedule for me to follow...Europe will be over by then...i should be a fully accredited RPM by then too.

So, i wont be making any swifts move for now. But there are a couple of plans that may come to fruition by the end of this year.

(lit: progress...?)

Je veux essayer...

A while ago, i wrote about wanting to find my passion, but i didnt know where to find it.

This year is jam packed and im limited in my budget to try something new because of all the travelling i want to do...ie, all the money i need to save so that i can spend while im travelling abroad.

But while thinking about what i love, as opposed to things i just want to try for the heck of it, i discovered some things that might make me feel passionate about something - dare i say, anything...

I love the sound of a trumpet. I get goosebumps listening to the opening of My Funny Valentine - live by Michael Buble at some concert hall in South Africa. The trumpet being played is sensual and provocative.

I've watched doco's about Miles Davies. I swoon over Miles Davies - the music, not Miles Davies - the man. BUT, I have to appreciate that there would be no music, if it wasnt for the man's talent.

So, i have decided that i want to try and learn to play the trumpet.

This could be another hare brained idea of mine...but who knows...unless i try it out.

I also want to, and this i will definitely try out, is learn various dances. I want to learn the flamenco, tango, mambo, samba, and especially the lindy hop - so i can swing.

I want to take up some art classes too. One for drawing and one for painting.

I think i figured myself out a bit more. If you look at the list above, its pretty obvious that im actually a creatively minded individual.

I've always loved music...always loved dancing...and always loved art.

(lit: I want to test /try)

Aliéné...

I'm under the weather to say the least...i felt it coming on on Friday with the sore throat and cloudy head...so i went home to rest and did so for the weekend.

I went in to work on Monday morning, left at lunch...took Tuesday off and rolled back into work feeling crappola on Wednesday. Luckily i was in the office...the projects im looking after evolved into nasty and my manager needed me back on board.

I should really have stayed at home again today...head is still cloudy and the acid reflux in the back of my throat is hovering around. I haven't eaten much and it is still there...even now as i type. How disgusting is that?

Another manager sitting beside me, informed me that the amount of flows has more than doubled for one of the projects. I am wayyy out of my depth on this one. The delivery date is insane!!! The schedule is soo tight - its touch and go...im not even sure we should bother with one.

*ugh*

(lit: Insane...)

Je suis perdue...

(Pronounciation: Zher swee pair.dew...)

I don't think i can really call myself a good samaritan.

I've always had a soft spot in protecting children or the older more frail.

But of late, i've noticed the helpless more often and i find myself wanting to reach out and help.

During my lunch break on Thursday, i was walking with a gf to Pitt Street to check out some pens at the Mont Blanc store (sis-in-law wants to buy a pen for my brother, who got promoted on Tuesday to a head position). Along the way, from the corner of my eye i saw a women slumped on a bench. She was semi upright with her head slightly leaning on her shoulder...slightly leaning on her chest.

My gf was oblivious to her and only turned to look when i said aloud "i wonder if she is okay?"
I wasnt sure if she was homeless...although she didnt quite look like it. She dressed neatly and had a handbag tucked under the crook of her arm and looked like an old lady who just got really tired and dozed off.

My second thought was "i wonder if she is dead?" and i really should have taken a closer look, or at least taken a moment to notice whether or not her chest was inflating and then deflating to know whether she was breathing.

But i didnt and had continued to walk away.

I wrote that i wanted to reach out and help, but i havent.

I cant really say what fear grips me and prevents me from being a "good samaritan"...because the intention to protect and help is there...its just that no action amounts from the intentions.

I wonder if that makes me a bad person. The fact that i dont act. I just wonder.

(lit: I'm lost...)

Singe effronté...

I came home on Sunday after going to a house warming in the afternoon and Chloe was at the table having dinner.

She said to me:

"Aunty, i have another party to go to. Its for my friend Isabelle and its far away AND I WANT YOU to take me. If you want a lolly from my lolly bag...you.will.have.to.deal.with.ME!"

(1) Her mother was shocked, because she is free to take Chloe on this occasion, but Chloe had never asked her mother to take her to the party.

(2) Chloe and i did a pinky swear before the first birthday party i chapperoned. If i took her to these parties, i would get to pick 1 lolly from her lolly bag before she demolished it. That was the pact, which is why she said what she had said.

(3) I'm shocked that she is "re-negotiating" the terms and conditions with me. What a cheeky bugger...and she is only 5 y/o!!!


(lit: monkey cheeky)