I have this thing for weekends away...to me its like making up for the inability to take a long holiday. Whats even better is when you have a good weekend, and it felt like you were in another town or state, just like a trip away, but u were still in Sydney doing the usual stuf or maybe something more exotic!
=)
I went to have dinner/drinks/kok on Friday nite with my "gorgor" and his friends, and also with M. That nite was a blast...watching L trying to kill E for screwing her over about the whole "you can't get into Greece if u have a visa stamped from Istanbul" thing (that we were informed by Mike/Pompy) right before E was leaving (the next day) for his trip, is quite funny.
KoK with a drunken "gorgor" and his silly mates who coerced him to do more silly things is also quite funny...M was tickled on the knees...altho it was funny to see her squirm...i was getting squashed in the process (piggy in the middle of the seat)...that made it not fun!
Before we left, Mike shook my hand and he was about to peck my cheek...what was nice was that he asked before he did..."may i give you a kiss goodbye?" ("sure") Then he turned to my "gorgor" and said "if i didnt have a gf then i would have definitely asked you to hook me up with petals." My "gorgor" as a true protector said that i was his little sister...(he was drunk, remember)...anyways...
Mike is caucasian and not really my type, but it was a very nice compliment indeed. Oh, and earlier on, before i met up with everyone...i was at the parking meter and there was an old man in front of the line. It looked like he wasnt sure as to what to do to get a ticket. So, i went up to him and asked if he needed help to get a ticket. It was a poorly lit area...so the old man was grateful that i offered to help. Once he was done, the guy that was after the old man, let me go first even though it wasnt my turn...that sorta set the fuzzy feeling for the whole nite! (He was this cute asian guy...i was tempted to leave a note to get him to call me on his windscreen, signed "meter girl" *LoL*)
=)
On Saturday, I went to Yum Cha at Silver Spring...i have never been there before...i usually go to Kam Fook (formerly known as), Marigold, or Emperor's Garden...so it was a change. I had fun as i met new people who were fun to talk to. Some i have met once before, the others were all new to me...it was fun also to be cruisin with B and M in the car...hehehe...
Saturday nite, i was with my friends organising our trip away to the Blue Mts. And for the first time ever - they were efficient in deciding the finer details. I was amazed and grateful! Cars are loaded with 4 people in each car. Were meeting at KK in Penrith at 9am on Saturday. Each days activities has been arranged - Sat: Horseback riding, Sun: Bushwalking and Murder Mystery, & Mon: Picnic.
Weve also picked the mystery and our characters. I'm the Cigarette Girl (ironic isnt it???)...i have to wear a short skirt with high heels and carry a box in front of me loaded with boxes of cigarettes and gum. I'm literally going to freeze my bottom off! (I will be praying that i wont have to wear my costume, even if i bring it!)
Sunday was also good...a family day out to Jenolan Caves...I cant remember the last time i went, as i would have been about 3 or 4 y/o...we went to tour the Lucas Cave as the Orient was sold out. I quite enjoyed walking up the stairs...except, even though we were warned about the headache rock...i went and hit my head on that rock!
=T
It was freezing...but i like the cold...the air was soo pure out there, that you can distinctly smell the exhaust fumes of the car when a car does drive by and disrupts the fresh air...it surprising how ur lungs and sense of smell adapts...i understand why people like living out there...altho, i dont think i would ever...not even at retirement age...
I think what made my weekend so "trip away" like was the Jenolan Caves on Sunday...it really topped the weekend off and dinner after the trip at a restaurant sort of made it feel like we were so far from home. It was excellent!
...im bursting and cant wait for the Blue Mts trip in 2 weeks...
*^_^*
Monday, May 31, 2004
Friday, May 28, 2004
A present for me?
I come back from lunch and i see a box wrapped in a pretty plastic bag with my name and the work address on a label smacked right in the middle of the package...
I got excited...its like, who would have sent me that? What is this for? Do i have an admirer? I got all giddy! =D
I got closer and saw who it was from...it was from Darling Park...i wondered, who in Darling Park would need to send me anything? Darling Park is the Head Office in Sydney, but i wasn't expecting anything from them...except my contract...but this was in a smallish box...not fitting for documents.
And then i remembered...the IT guy, he emailed me earlier saying that he was gonna send me some back up tapes...
...here they were...
*bubble burst*
=P
I got excited...its like, who would have sent me that? What is this for? Do i have an admirer? I got all giddy! =D
I got closer and saw who it was from...it was from Darling Park...i wondered, who in Darling Park would need to send me anything? Darling Park is the Head Office in Sydney, but i wasn't expecting anything from them...except my contract...but this was in a smallish box...not fitting for documents.
And then i remembered...the IT guy, he emailed me earlier saying that he was gonna send me some back up tapes...
...here they were...
*bubble burst*
=P
Thursday, May 27, 2004
Vicariously through you...
There is something about detoxing that supposedly clears your mind along with the rest of you...
I have a few epiphanies when i go through my detox...a lot of them are self revelations...
I tend to say how i feel and mean it when i say them. But as i reflect now, i've been lying to myself. Am i such a girl scorn that i can no longer feel on my own? I lied when i said that i was no longer cold hearted and that i was feeling alive again, because i havent, and i wont, and im not.
I cant really explain why im "scorn". My ex's werent bad people, so i wasnt melodramatically hurt by them. I wasnt really hurt all that much. Sad, but not hurt. I havent really had bad experiences to be drawing these inverted feelings from either. Im superficially laughing if im on my own. The only times i actually "feel" are the times im feeling my friends' happiness, sorrows, or banality. Or when i read a book and feel what the characters are going through...
I cant really explain why im living vicariously through my friends, but i realise that all this time ive been joking about "living vicariously through them"...i shouldnt have been joking, as i was actually doing so.
Im trying to decipher this blankness, the total lack of emotion. I guess i should be thankful that im still feeling anything at all, even if its through my friends' experiences. heh. Or some character's plot to the story.
I just dont really understand what brought me here, to where i am today? So, i can sorta, i guess try to reverse it...?
I would like to feel again, my own ray of sunshine...
I have a few epiphanies when i go through my detox...a lot of them are self revelations...
I tend to say how i feel and mean it when i say them. But as i reflect now, i've been lying to myself. Am i such a girl scorn that i can no longer feel on my own? I lied when i said that i was no longer cold hearted and that i was feeling alive again, because i havent, and i wont, and im not.
I cant really explain why im "scorn". My ex's werent bad people, so i wasnt melodramatically hurt by them. I wasnt really hurt all that much. Sad, but not hurt. I havent really had bad experiences to be drawing these inverted feelings from either. Im superficially laughing if im on my own. The only times i actually "feel" are the times im feeling my friends' happiness, sorrows, or banality. Or when i read a book and feel what the characters are going through...
I cant really explain why im living vicariously through my friends, but i realise that all this time ive been joking about "living vicariously through them"...i shouldnt have been joking, as i was actually doing so.
Im trying to decipher this blankness, the total lack of emotion. I guess i should be thankful that im still feeling anything at all, even if its through my friends' experiences. heh. Or some character's plot to the story.
I just dont really understand what brought me here, to where i am today? So, i can sorta, i guess try to reverse it...?
I would like to feel again, my own ray of sunshine...
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
Pretty in Pink...
My work mate needed a BIG break from work as he is the logistics manager...he has heaps of things to do but so little time and there is no one but him there to do it (Logisitics Team = 1)!
=(
So, we went to lunch and when i paid for my lunch, he looked at my wallet and said "thats a nice wallet petals!" I thought he was taking the mickey out of me and i laughed and said "do the flowers do it for you too?" *hehehe* i thought i was funny...but anyways...he then said he was serious, because he liked the colour pink, especially pink on a girl!
He also liked girls with long hair, he doesnt like short hair on girls...(it must be that feminine thing).
So, is it true that the best bet for me, to attract a guy is...to wear something pink, keep my hair long...whack on a skirt and pop a pair of high heels on to polish off the look?
Although, i dont like pink all that much...(im slowly accepting it)...i like long hair, but i also like chopping all of my long hair off for that dramatic effect! I dont really like wearing skirts, i prefer wearing pants or 3/4 length skirts - nothing short...and i do wear high heels...just not with short skirts! I usually wear heels to work, or with jeans...so...hmm...this may explain why i can't get a guys attention...
Im wearing the wrong colours!
=(
So, we went to lunch and when i paid for my lunch, he looked at my wallet and said "thats a nice wallet petals!" I thought he was taking the mickey out of me and i laughed and said "do the flowers do it for you too?" *hehehe* i thought i was funny...but anyways...he then said he was serious, because he liked the colour pink, especially pink on a girl!
He also liked girls with long hair, he doesnt like short hair on girls...(it must be that feminine thing).
So, is it true that the best bet for me, to attract a guy is...to wear something pink, keep my hair long...whack on a skirt and pop a pair of high heels on to polish off the look?
Although, i dont like pink all that much...(im slowly accepting it)...i like long hair, but i also like chopping all of my long hair off for that dramatic effect! I dont really like wearing skirts, i prefer wearing pants or 3/4 length skirts - nothing short...and i do wear high heels...just not with short skirts! I usually wear heels to work, or with jeans...so...hmm...this may explain why i can't get a guys attention...
Im wearing the wrong colours!
Why oh why?
I started my 21 day detox yesterday...im not doing it with any kit...i've done this before...so i have all the vitamins, nuts, herbs, peppermint tea, etc. ready for me...oh peppermint tea, ur my saviour...
=)
Why am i detoxing? Well, i have taken about 5-6 courses of antibiotics over a period of 2.5 months...its time to flush it all out of my system. My internal organs need a cleansing...so i need to change my diet for a bit - okay a lot, because technically its harsher than a vegans diet. Its a plus that the detox helps lose some kilos...as i put on weight taking the antibiotics (it was probably all water retained, but that will be the first to go)! *bleh*
What sucks is when ur detoxing and your mother cooks really yummy food...that has red meat in it. And then your brother comes over with a box of Krispy Kremes and says to you: "Have some!"
I looked at him and politely said no...[*bastard*...what a slack arse! he brings over KK donuts when i cant eat it!...*pfft*]
Another thing that sucks is that my little brother loves chocolate (weird for a boy...cos my older brother hates sweets), so there is heaps lying around the house...and the receptionist is selling chocolate for a fundraiser...so theres all these chocolates being flashed in front of me! I love chocolate, but its a really bad habit!
Basically, it takes a lot of will power and time to detox...to do it while working full time is hard. But i managed last time, and today as it is my second day...its not too bad...I haven't had breakfast yet, but i have my fruit with me. I'm too full from drinking one glass of water with 1/2 a lemon squeezed into it, plus the glass of water with a teaspoon of psyllium husk mixed into it, plus the 50 mL of pure aloe juice. Thats just too much liquid to try and fit breaky in the tummy.
Thankfully, i am organised (its the one thing i can boast about myself), so im prepared for this detox on my end. I just need everyone to sorta work with me a lil...pretty please???
My friend wants to organise a dinner thing this Friday, to organise our long weekend to the Blu Mts, because were doing a Murder Mystery and there are 3 mysteries to choose from. Which is all fine and dandy, but must we organise it over dinner??? I sent everyone on the list an email asking if we could do it after dinner at someone's place...everyone seems to want to get together on Saturday or Sunday...i dont see why we cant just do it before or after dinner...so that i can eat my own thing at home? once again, pretty please?
I think detoxing is like quitting smoking...instead its quitting junk food, chocolate, bread, meat, yogurt, etc...they are all the stuf that i love to eat, but not allowed to...i mean, i like nuts and fruit and some veges...but not to have any natural yogurt topped with muesli is mortifying! makes me really sad not being able to have diary...thankfully out of habit from my first detox, i drink soy milk all the time now, but i miss yogurt...*sigh*...
Its hard, because you think about what you cant have and its devastating the amount of things you CANT have! =(
I'll live...the hardest phase of the detox will fly by...i just needed to sook to someone, and this is as close as i can get to a person...
###
Update: They are organising pizza at a friends place...*fudge*...bunch of slack people! On Saturday nite at 7:30pm...*grrr*...
###
=)
Why am i detoxing? Well, i have taken about 5-6 courses of antibiotics over a period of 2.5 months...its time to flush it all out of my system. My internal organs need a cleansing...so i need to change my diet for a bit - okay a lot, because technically its harsher than a vegans diet. Its a plus that the detox helps lose some kilos...as i put on weight taking the antibiotics (it was probably all water retained, but that will be the first to go)! *bleh*
What sucks is when ur detoxing and your mother cooks really yummy food...that has red meat in it. And then your brother comes over with a box of Krispy Kremes and says to you: "Have some!"
I looked at him and politely said no...[*bastard*...what a slack arse! he brings over KK donuts when i cant eat it!...*pfft*]
Another thing that sucks is that my little brother loves chocolate (weird for a boy...cos my older brother hates sweets), so there is heaps lying around the house...and the receptionist is selling chocolate for a fundraiser...so theres all these chocolates being flashed in front of me! I love chocolate, but its a really bad habit!
Basically, it takes a lot of will power and time to detox...to do it while working full time is hard. But i managed last time, and today as it is my second day...its not too bad...I haven't had breakfast yet, but i have my fruit with me. I'm too full from drinking one glass of water with 1/2 a lemon squeezed into it, plus the glass of water with a teaspoon of psyllium husk mixed into it, plus the 50 mL of pure aloe juice. Thats just too much liquid to try and fit breaky in the tummy.
Thankfully, i am organised (its the one thing i can boast about myself), so im prepared for this detox on my end. I just need everyone to sorta work with me a lil...pretty please???
My friend wants to organise a dinner thing this Friday, to organise our long weekend to the Blu Mts, because were doing a Murder Mystery and there are 3 mysteries to choose from. Which is all fine and dandy, but must we organise it over dinner??? I sent everyone on the list an email asking if we could do it after dinner at someone's place...everyone seems to want to get together on Saturday or Sunday...i dont see why we cant just do it before or after dinner...so that i can eat my own thing at home? once again, pretty please?
I think detoxing is like quitting smoking...instead its quitting junk food, chocolate, bread, meat, yogurt, etc...they are all the stuf that i love to eat, but not allowed to...i mean, i like nuts and fruit and some veges...but not to have any natural yogurt topped with muesli is mortifying! makes me really sad not being able to have diary...thankfully out of habit from my first detox, i drink soy milk all the time now, but i miss yogurt...*sigh*...
Its hard, because you think about what you cant have and its devastating the amount of things you CANT have! =(
I'll live...the hardest phase of the detox will fly by...i just needed to sook to someone, and this is as close as i can get to a person...
###
Update: They are organising pizza at a friends place...*fudge*...bunch of slack people! On Saturday nite at 7:30pm...*grrr*...
###
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Friendly support...
I have been reading and commenting on this post from Ding! And i draw your attention to one of his comments where he writes: "I guess I didn’t make it clear in my previous post but my issue is with what happens after making contact...I may have a good conversation with someone but that’s all there is, things never progress..."
Now, i obviously was commenting and giving my 2 cents worth...and it sorta looks like i was giving more of my $1 worth...so i figured i would continue with my opinions here...and maybe help someone with a strategy so that they can get to know a person better.
This has been an intriguing social anomaly...how some just cant progress from a good conversation with someone...to perhaps becoming better friends with that person.
Most of what i will be writing about stems from a phone conversation i had with my best friend yesterday during lunch...she called because there has been some interesting developments amongst my high school friends in the past month or so...which i have been absent from as it doesnt really involve me...altho some of the things she told me, i already had a clue that it was brewing...
Apparently, there is not a triangle, but a pentagon thing happening amongst the boys and girls...
Boy A likes Girl A.
Girl A likes Boy B.
Boy B likes Girl B (Girl B use to like Boy B).
Boy C likes Girl B.
Girl B is starting to like Boy C.
And i have an feeling that:
Girl C likes Boy D...but Boy D likes the intern that is working in his team.
Now, we have all been friends since Year 7 or 8 in high school...i was secretly hoping that Girl B ended up with Boy B and thought that Boy B was waiting until he finished his law degree that he would make a move...but it seems that Boy C may have beat him to it...
For a while now, Boy C has been trying to get Boy A and Girl A together, by trying to get everyone together on outings...Boy C would organise regular tennis games...nite out to the movies...trips to the beach...dinners...just so that Boy A and Girl A could have the opportunity to chat and get to know each other.
This might seem childish...very reminiscent of high school days...but it worked...not to the fullest extent, because Girl A just didnt feel anything for Boy A in the end...but they went on a date and tried but found that they are better off good friends.
After all this, Boy C reaped some benefits too...all this time he thought Girl B liked Boy B...but Boy C won Girl B over with all the time they spent together trying to match their friends...
The point of talking about all this is that i wonder whether u have ever considered utilising ur friends more often as allies in ur pursuit of getting to know people? Im pretty sure your friends are more than willing to help...especially female friends helping male friends! ;)
I have set up a couple before...done it ever so discreetly that my girl friend had no idea that i set it up! I made her dream come true...and i dont think anyone knows that it was due to my cunning ability to manipulate people! mwahhaha
I got everyone dates for our Year 12 formal...and all the guys thought they did it on their own...and all the girls thought all the boys did it on their own...but it was all me...pity thats where the bucket fell short, as i was the one dateless...(too busy setting everyone else up!)
Which is why i need some people to do what i do, but for me...heheheh...i need that "friendly support".
I think especially now that its getting increasingly difficult to get to know people really well...friends should organise outings or something so that people have the opportunity to meet and talk more often...and u never know...it could be like Boy C and Girl B...something might blossom without you really trying! ;)
I mean this is what people should do to get to know eachother better...I remembered when we finished with dinner at Masuya's for JC's birthday, we went to some bar (i cant remember the name now)...and we sat there, playing "truth or dare" but only asking truth questions...there was only 8 of us and we were asking the most interesting questions...and i think ino some people more in some ways...
Im not saying go out there and play "truth or dare"...i think that if your friends can tell ur interested in someone...they should back you up and help you get to know them better by organising stuff more often...but for smallish groups otherwise the large group will break up into smaller groups...and that friend ur trying to help may not break into the smaller group that the person they like has broken in to...i would organise things so that my friend could see the guy she crushes on more often and give her the opportunity to talk to him...because alot of the time, its about the opportunities!
If your friends cant tell...u should tell them and ask for help, cos u have tried and its not really working...its even better when ur friend is a close friend to that other person! Its like having insider information...hehehehe...
Back to my best friend and the conversation during lunch yesterday...during the nites, over phone conversations...friends of the people involved in the pentagon were trying to work out if they should be helping Boy B or Boy C...and they were trying to get the insider info on Girl B. I think this grapevine networking is silly but is needed...admittedly, u gotta be with trustworthy and discreet friends...otherwise the whole friendly support thing will fall apart.
So, all the people out there, go organise something...put a bunch of single people together and see if anyone hits it off...preferrably put a group of people with similar interests together...hehehhe...it helps...actually JC's party proliferated some good ideas...that nite i bumped into my best friends from primary school at 333. They were actually there for another social gathering organised by a male friend of theirs...the deal was you had to bring along a single friend to the party to introduce to everyone...so all the people who turned up brought a single friend...maybe you could try this?
Now, i obviously was commenting and giving my 2 cents worth...and it sorta looks like i was giving more of my $1 worth...so i figured i would continue with my opinions here...and maybe help someone with a strategy so that they can get to know a person better.
This has been an intriguing social anomaly...how some just cant progress from a good conversation with someone...to perhaps becoming better friends with that person.
Most of what i will be writing about stems from a phone conversation i had with my best friend yesterday during lunch...she called because there has been some interesting developments amongst my high school friends in the past month or so...which i have been absent from as it doesnt really involve me...altho some of the things she told me, i already had a clue that it was brewing...
Apparently, there is not a triangle, but a pentagon thing happening amongst the boys and girls...
Boy A likes Girl A.
Girl A likes Boy B.
Boy B likes Girl B (Girl B use to like Boy B).
Boy C likes Girl B.
Girl B is starting to like Boy C.
And i have an feeling that:
Girl C likes Boy D...but Boy D likes the intern that is working in his team.
Now, we have all been friends since Year 7 or 8 in high school...i was secretly hoping that Girl B ended up with Boy B and thought that Boy B was waiting until he finished his law degree that he would make a move...but it seems that Boy C may have beat him to it...
For a while now, Boy C has been trying to get Boy A and Girl A together, by trying to get everyone together on outings...Boy C would organise regular tennis games...nite out to the movies...trips to the beach...dinners...just so that Boy A and Girl A could have the opportunity to chat and get to know each other.
This might seem childish...very reminiscent of high school days...but it worked...not to the fullest extent, because Girl A just didnt feel anything for Boy A in the end...but they went on a date and tried but found that they are better off good friends.
After all this, Boy C reaped some benefits too...all this time he thought Girl B liked Boy B...but Boy C won Girl B over with all the time they spent together trying to match their friends...
The point of talking about all this is that i wonder whether u have ever considered utilising ur friends more often as allies in ur pursuit of getting to know people? Im pretty sure your friends are more than willing to help...especially female friends helping male friends! ;)
I have set up a couple before...done it ever so discreetly that my girl friend had no idea that i set it up! I made her dream come true...and i dont think anyone knows that it was due to my cunning ability to manipulate people! mwahhaha
I got everyone dates for our Year 12 formal...and all the guys thought they did it on their own...and all the girls thought all the boys did it on their own...but it was all me...pity thats where the bucket fell short, as i was the one dateless...(too busy setting everyone else up!)
Which is why i need some people to do what i do, but for me...heheheh...i need that "friendly support".
I think especially now that its getting increasingly difficult to get to know people really well...friends should organise outings or something so that people have the opportunity to meet and talk more often...and u never know...it could be like Boy C and Girl B...something might blossom without you really trying! ;)
I mean this is what people should do to get to know eachother better...I remembered when we finished with dinner at Masuya's for JC's birthday, we went to some bar (i cant remember the name now)...and we sat there, playing "truth or dare" but only asking truth questions...there was only 8 of us and we were asking the most interesting questions...and i think ino some people more in some ways...
Im not saying go out there and play "truth or dare"...i think that if your friends can tell ur interested in someone...they should back you up and help you get to know them better by organising stuff more often...but for smallish groups otherwise the large group will break up into smaller groups...and that friend ur trying to help may not break into the smaller group that the person they like has broken in to...i would organise things so that my friend could see the guy she crushes on more often and give her the opportunity to talk to him...because alot of the time, its about the opportunities!
If your friends cant tell...u should tell them and ask for help, cos u have tried and its not really working...its even better when ur friend is a close friend to that other person! Its like having insider information...hehehehe...
Back to my best friend and the conversation during lunch yesterday...during the nites, over phone conversations...friends of the people involved in the pentagon were trying to work out if they should be helping Boy B or Boy C...and they were trying to get the insider info on Girl B. I think this grapevine networking is silly but is needed...admittedly, u gotta be with trustworthy and discreet friends...otherwise the whole friendly support thing will fall apart.
So, all the people out there, go organise something...put a bunch of single people together and see if anyone hits it off...preferrably put a group of people with similar interests together...hehehhe...it helps...actually JC's party proliferated some good ideas...that nite i bumped into my best friends from primary school at 333. They were actually there for another social gathering organised by a male friend of theirs...the deal was you had to bring along a single friend to the party to introduce to everyone...so all the people who turned up brought a single friend...maybe you could try this?
Monday, May 24, 2004
Have you ever saw yourself fat?
I sometimes look at my reflection in the mirror and sometimes what i see and what gets processed in my head and what ino i am, are not one and the same.
Its really sad that some how, some way i have this warped view of what i look like. I know im healthy for my age, height, weight, and my heart is in good condition. I work out as regularly as i can...i try to eat healthy...altho i shouldnt kid myself by saying that i DO eat healthy - but i try.
I dont have a weight issue per se. I just want to be tall, thin and beautiful! *LoL* Ironic, im genetically pre-disposed to short, curvy, and erm...passable. ahahhaa Its more of a mental thing, really...
Its not like im not eating, i dont believe in starving myself. i dont really want to be thin...i just want to be thinner than what i am now. Does that make sense? Pity i happen to like food...
What really gets to me is that i can sometimes look at myself and see someone thats not the "normal" me, but a fatter version! I think some girls will understand what i mean...(and some guys too). There will be times u just wake up and look in the mirror and your face seems to have added a kilo over nite. On other occasions i look at myself and it would seem like my waist has increased by 3 inches...my thighs have ballooned in proportion like a chicken drumstick, really big at the top and skinny ankles at the bottom.
Its like some fotos, you look nice and slender, really toned...and sometimes there is a shot of you that makes you look like a beached whale all from the same occasion! But thats the camera and the pose that the camera captured at that particular time. When you look at the mirror...it could be the type of mirror you are looking at which alters what you see, but im talking about the mirror in my bathroom...and im referring only to this mirror...and from this one mirror i have looked anorexic at some stage, normal at other times, and then the worst of all...fat!
Its quite devastating that this perception that you have of urself is distorted...and therefore you cant really put the way you look into a "better" perspective, as the current visual you have in your head is wrong.
Even when i look down at my body, like a birds eye view of my waist, hips and thighs...once again what i see may not be what others see...and thats another scary thing. What do people really see of me?
Is it like your voice? What others hear as your voice, is not what you actually hear in your head. The way you look, do others see something different to what you see? Do they see the same thing that is represented as a reflection in the mirror? So, although i may not be fat, but i sometimes see a person that is fat in the mirror...is that what others see of me???
It really screws my head in, because i do believe that beauty is skin deep...but it becomes quite complicated if what you see, makes you feel crap and therefore not actually beautiful on the inside...so no beauty can really resonate to the outside. Right?
I think this is ultimately why girls bring a trusted friend shopping with them to ask that question: "Does my butt look fat in this?" Its because we cant really decipher the twisted version of what we are seeing, because more often than not, what we are seeing is a "fatter" version of ourselves. You would ask your trusted friend that question, because uno that for your dignity and their's (for being your friend while you wear whatever it is you are wearing) they will tell you if it looks good on you or if its soo not!
I think im writing this in vain...i should really appreciate the fact that im healthy with all my limbs attached and that im without any real health problems, unlike the anorexics or bulimics out there. I guess this will provide insight as to how people with eating disorders perceive themselves, which leads them to starvation or binge eating. They have this warped view that they are "fat" although they arent...what i described is just my own neurosis...imagine what theirs would be like...
=(
Its really sad that some how, some way i have this warped view of what i look like. I know im healthy for my age, height, weight, and my heart is in good condition. I work out as regularly as i can...i try to eat healthy...altho i shouldnt kid myself by saying that i DO eat healthy - but i try.
I dont have a weight issue per se. I just want to be tall, thin and beautiful! *LoL* Ironic, im genetically pre-disposed to short, curvy, and erm...passable. ahahhaa Its more of a mental thing, really...
Its not like im not eating, i dont believe in starving myself. i dont really want to be thin...i just want to be thinner than what i am now. Does that make sense? Pity i happen to like food...
What really gets to me is that i can sometimes look at myself and see someone thats not the "normal" me, but a fatter version! I think some girls will understand what i mean...(and some guys too). There will be times u just wake up and look in the mirror and your face seems to have added a kilo over nite. On other occasions i look at myself and it would seem like my waist has increased by 3 inches...my thighs have ballooned in proportion like a chicken drumstick, really big at the top and skinny ankles at the bottom.
Its like some fotos, you look nice and slender, really toned...and sometimes there is a shot of you that makes you look like a beached whale all from the same occasion! But thats the camera and the pose that the camera captured at that particular time. When you look at the mirror...it could be the type of mirror you are looking at which alters what you see, but im talking about the mirror in my bathroom...and im referring only to this mirror...and from this one mirror i have looked anorexic at some stage, normal at other times, and then the worst of all...fat!
Its quite devastating that this perception that you have of urself is distorted...and therefore you cant really put the way you look into a "better" perspective, as the current visual you have in your head is wrong.
Even when i look down at my body, like a birds eye view of my waist, hips and thighs...once again what i see may not be what others see...and thats another scary thing. What do people really see of me?
Is it like your voice? What others hear as your voice, is not what you actually hear in your head. The way you look, do others see something different to what you see? Do they see the same thing that is represented as a reflection in the mirror? So, although i may not be fat, but i sometimes see a person that is fat in the mirror...is that what others see of me???
It really screws my head in, because i do believe that beauty is skin deep...but it becomes quite complicated if what you see, makes you feel crap and therefore not actually beautiful on the inside...so no beauty can really resonate to the outside. Right?
I think this is ultimately why girls bring a trusted friend shopping with them to ask that question: "Does my butt look fat in this?" Its because we cant really decipher the twisted version of what we are seeing, because more often than not, what we are seeing is a "fatter" version of ourselves. You would ask your trusted friend that question, because uno that for your dignity and their's (for being your friend while you wear whatever it is you are wearing) they will tell you if it looks good on you or if its soo not!
I think im writing this in vain...i should really appreciate the fact that im healthy with all my limbs attached and that im without any real health problems, unlike the anorexics or bulimics out there. I guess this will provide insight as to how people with eating disorders perceive themselves, which leads them to starvation or binge eating. They have this warped view that they are "fat" although they arent...what i described is just my own neurosis...imagine what theirs would be like...
=(
Sunday, May 23, 2004
just a bunch of my stuf...
While i was waiting for my brother to get off the comp at home on Friday nite, i rarely use it now that i have finished uni...and since i sit in front of a comp at work for 8 hours or more in the day, id rather avoid the comp at home...but since i couldnt watch tv...i couldnt think of something to draw, my brother was on the comp...i ended up writing two entries in my sketch book.
Its called Chess:
The Dating scene is now placed in a backdrop like a Chessboard. A girl today is better off playing a smart game. She actually needs some strategies to help her get to know a guy. Different moves, part of different gameplays that could lead her to either victory or defeat.
I like the tone white versus black...My "white" team comprises of friends - female and male. My strategy is to put the male friends in the position of pawns - my first line of offense. The pawns are there to help advance me in the line to get to know my "dark prince", by diverting all the attention of the "dark maidens" (who are in my bloody way!) ahahaha
Now all my female friends, my second line of offense have their own special tactics to use on anyone who is standing beside the "dark prince". They wll skip, hop, jump, go forwards, bend over backwards, trip and flirt for me, so that i may get my chance to check that mate!
Cherry's resurrection:
Cherry has been hiding for a while now...elusively floating about online but now she's back - with a bomb, an axe, some kidneys in a "doggy" bag, a saw and an excruciatingly bad hair day!
E's movie has been sitting on the back burner for a while now...maybe because Cherry went AWOL, or maybe he was lacking creative juices (i doubt it)...or maybe it was meant to be completed on our Europe trip next year? But for whatever reason, we had paused filming!
I think its more to the fact that we are all out of uni now with very little time on our hands...like derrr...OR its L's curse on E! She is really screwing the boy over! *LoL*
In my hot little hands, i have Cherry at her best, worst, and memorably scariest element of all time. What i have of her would make her go back hibernating like a recluse. Were talking about 1 girl who has done sooo many wrong things under the sun, moon, and scrutiny of the Anime Society at Usyd. It is sooo BAD from my memory that even though i have *this* in my hands and the VCR is ready to rip, i just cant bring myself to watch it!
Please please, let Cherry be...
Frivolity:
I told Mey that i would be living frivolously through her, cos she was the one with a more interesting "lurve life"...hehehe...
I have found another friend to live frivolously through...i was reading this entry and it really pulled on my heart strings...i am disappointed that that has never happened to me...but im still glad it has happened to someone, and even more so that it has happened to someone close to me...
It instills a sense of faith in me about the male species, that there are some still like that out there somewhere...who when they get the opportunity, will do something about the way they feel about u! *aww shucks*
*^_^*
Im a geek, ur the genius:
What did the Roman Republic contribute to Modern Society, today?
Hmm...i derno...why are you asking me for? Doesnt your teacher teach you anything???
Its for my assignment, thats the question i need to answer for my speech.
So ur asking me for the answer?
No, i just want some ideas...so what did they contribute???
I derno...ermm...you can talk about politics...the structure, the laws, the democratic setting...stuf like that...forums...
What else???
I derno, i dont remember...the last i did any history was in Year 12 which was like 5 years ago...and that was on Roman Britain, not the Roman Republic...umm...talk about maybe armour, war tactics, the society...yeah the structure of those...
Wait...repeat that so i can write it down.
I thought you said you just wanted an idea, and now ur writing my ideas down? Im writing ur speech for you now!
No, ur not...im still going to write it, ur just giving me ideas
Which is writing ur bloody speech!
What else?
I derno...umm...baths...cleanliness, hygene...stuff like that! Gees, im pretty good, considering it was 5 years ago and technically a different era...
You're a geek though.
What are u then?
Im a genius!
BS!!! Genius my butt...i just wrote your speech!!! Your teacher is gonna think who wrote it for you!
No she wont.
How do you know that?
She was the one who said i was a genius!
Fudge!
-_-"
Its called Chess:
The Dating scene is now placed in a backdrop like a Chessboard. A girl today is better off playing a smart game. She actually needs some strategies to help her get to know a guy. Different moves, part of different gameplays that could lead her to either victory or defeat.
I like the tone white versus black...My "white" team comprises of friends - female and male. My strategy is to put the male friends in the position of pawns - my first line of offense. The pawns are there to help advance me in the line to get to know my "dark prince", by diverting all the attention of the "dark maidens" (who are in my bloody way!) ahahaha
Now all my female friends, my second line of offense have their own special tactics to use on anyone who is standing beside the "dark prince". They wll skip, hop, jump, go forwards, bend over backwards, trip and flirt for me, so that i may get my chance to check that mate!
Cherry's resurrection:
Cherry has been hiding for a while now...elusively floating about online but now she's back - with a bomb, an axe, some kidneys in a "doggy" bag, a saw and an excruciatingly bad hair day!
E's movie has been sitting on the back burner for a while now...maybe because Cherry went AWOL, or maybe he was lacking creative juices (i doubt it)...or maybe it was meant to be completed on our Europe trip next year? But for whatever reason, we had paused filming!
I think its more to the fact that we are all out of uni now with very little time on our hands...like derrr...OR its L's curse on E! She is really screwing the boy over! *LoL*
In my hot little hands, i have Cherry at her best, worst, and memorably scariest element of all time. What i have of her would make her go back hibernating like a recluse. Were talking about 1 girl who has done sooo many wrong things under the sun, moon, and scrutiny of the Anime Society at Usyd. It is sooo BAD from my memory that even though i have *this* in my hands and the VCR is ready to rip, i just cant bring myself to watch it!
Please please, let Cherry be...
Frivolity:
I told Mey that i would be living frivolously through her, cos she was the one with a more interesting "lurve life"...hehehe...
I have found another friend to live frivolously through...i was reading this entry and it really pulled on my heart strings...i am disappointed that that has never happened to me...but im still glad it has happened to someone, and even more so that it has happened to someone close to me...
It instills a sense of faith in me about the male species, that there are some still like that out there somewhere...who when they get the opportunity, will do something about the way they feel about u! *aww shucks*
*^_^*
Im a geek, ur the genius:
What did the Roman Republic contribute to Modern Society, today?
Hmm...i derno...why are you asking me for? Doesnt your teacher teach you anything???
Its for my assignment, thats the question i need to answer for my speech.
So ur asking me for the answer?
No, i just want some ideas...so what did they contribute???
I derno...ermm...you can talk about politics...the structure, the laws, the democratic setting...stuf like that...forums...
What else???
I derno, i dont remember...the last i did any history was in Year 12 which was like 5 years ago...and that was on Roman Britain, not the Roman Republic...umm...talk about maybe armour, war tactics, the society...yeah the structure of those...
Wait...repeat that so i can write it down.
I thought you said you just wanted an idea, and now ur writing my ideas down? Im writing ur speech for you now!
No, ur not...im still going to write it, ur just giving me ideas
Which is writing ur bloody speech!
What else?
I derno...umm...baths...cleanliness, hygene...stuff like that! Gees, im pretty good, considering it was 5 years ago and technically a different era...
You're a geek though.
What are u then?
Im a genius!
BS!!! Genius my butt...i just wrote your speech!!! Your teacher is gonna think who wrote it for you!
No she wont.
How do you know that?
She was the one who said i was a genius!
Fudge!
-_-"
What is more agonising than love?
I haven't cried for a while...i really havent had a reason to.
In a sense, i guess its good that i havent cried for over a year now...but i think im realising that sometimes it is necessary to let some tears flow freely.
I got so choked up today while i was watching 'Love Actually' again on DVD. First time i watched it was at the cinemas...and because i was in public, i tried not to cry. Today, i went to Harvey Normans to print out my digital fotos, and there was a 10 min wait for them to print. So, i walked around to the DVD section and saw Love Actually for $19.95, so i quickly snapped it up!
I went home, popped it into the DVD player...waiting to watch it and feel uber warm and fuzzy from all the love floating around...and then the story about the "husband, wife, & other woman" was in my face!
I sat there, my throat was really tight, i almost stopped breathing and my eyes just welled with tears. I have never been cheated on, so i dont actually know how it feels...i dont think i ever want to know how it feels to be hurt in such a way...all i know is that I empathised with Emma Thompson's character and i cried when she cried and i choked when she was choking...Her moment in the School Hall after the play where she asked her husband what he would do in her position? Was it just jewellery, or was it jewellery and sex, or worse...jewellery and love??? His response was that he was a fool. Her response to that was that he had made her look the fool too!
I cried when Sarah missed out her chance with hunk-o-rama Carl, because of her love for her brother...the fact that she has to be there for her brother every time he calls...and everytime he insists that she comes and visit him in the hospital...she loves him dearly, but its a shame that she cant live her own life because of his psychological issues.
I cried tears of joy when Jamie - the writer, after learning Portugese flew to propose to Aurelia - the housekeeper, and she says YES (and she learnt English, just in case!) to his proposal...each time the two spoke previously, although both in different languages, not understanding eachother, the dialogue was flowing...if only they knew that they were having muted conversations with one another...
I havent had a good cry for a very long time...i felt angry last nite, but i didnt feel like crying, or maybe i did but stopped myself as i was in public? I dont like public displays of emotions unless its laughter and joy. So, i do try my best to prevent it. I told Mey that i have been emotionally switched off for a long while now, i think i may have written about this too, some time ago on this blog...
It may be the reason why i havent felt like crying, even while PMS-ing...but im sure glad i got it out of my system today! I really needed it. I just hope it doesnt keep happening like a domino effect. I think crying can be theraputic...but i also think laughing is too...i prefer laughing...oh, and retail therapy is also quite theraputic...i bought another pair of black stilettos today...this was after i got my fotos and my DVD.
In a sense, i guess its good that i havent cried for over a year now...but i think im realising that sometimes it is necessary to let some tears flow freely.
I got so choked up today while i was watching 'Love Actually' again on DVD. First time i watched it was at the cinemas...and because i was in public, i tried not to cry. Today, i went to Harvey Normans to print out my digital fotos, and there was a 10 min wait for them to print. So, i walked around to the DVD section and saw Love Actually for $19.95, so i quickly snapped it up!
I went home, popped it into the DVD player...waiting to watch it and feel uber warm and fuzzy from all the love floating around...and then the story about the "husband, wife, & other woman" was in my face!
I sat there, my throat was really tight, i almost stopped breathing and my eyes just welled with tears. I have never been cheated on, so i dont actually know how it feels...i dont think i ever want to know how it feels to be hurt in such a way...all i know is that I empathised with Emma Thompson's character and i cried when she cried and i choked when she was choking...Her moment in the School Hall after the play where she asked her husband what he would do in her position? Was it just jewellery, or was it jewellery and sex, or worse...jewellery and love??? His response was that he was a fool. Her response to that was that he had made her look the fool too!
I cried when Sarah missed out her chance with hunk-o-rama Carl, because of her love for her brother...the fact that she has to be there for her brother every time he calls...and everytime he insists that she comes and visit him in the hospital...she loves him dearly, but its a shame that she cant live her own life because of his psychological issues.
I cried tears of joy when Jamie - the writer, after learning Portugese flew to propose to Aurelia - the housekeeper, and she says YES (and she learnt English, just in case!) to his proposal...each time the two spoke previously, although both in different languages, not understanding eachother, the dialogue was flowing...if only they knew that they were having muted conversations with one another...
I havent had a good cry for a very long time...i felt angry last nite, but i didnt feel like crying, or maybe i did but stopped myself as i was in public? I dont like public displays of emotions unless its laughter and joy. So, i do try my best to prevent it. I told Mey that i have been emotionally switched off for a long while now, i think i may have written about this too, some time ago on this blog...
It may be the reason why i havent felt like crying, even while PMS-ing...but im sure glad i got it out of my system today! I really needed it. I just hope it doesnt keep happening like a domino effect. I think crying can be theraputic...but i also think laughing is too...i prefer laughing...oh, and retail therapy is also quite theraputic...i bought another pair of black stilettos today...this was after i got my fotos and my DVD.
Friday, May 21, 2004
Expressionism...
I woke up...suddenly feeling inspired...in a feverish delight i quickly washed my face, had some breakfast and grabbed my big black sketch book and my pencil case filled with different lead pencils...
My book is suppose to be a compendium of my creativity, but its still empty. I went on an escapade to the Australian Museum last year and i had a hit of inspiration then...so i drew a couple of statues and artifacts. But of late...the only other objects i have drawn was a tissue box, a lamp i conjured up in the back of my head one nite...a powerade bottle my brother left on the table one day and thats about it.
So, while i felt inspired i thought "what do i draw?"...*blank*...*blink blink*...*blank*...
I looked at my hands and so i decided to draw my left hand.
It took me about 20 minutes to draw my hand...and funnily enough, my hand looked sad, aged, and stressed.
I like artworks done by expressionists...its evocative and it usually sends a shiver down my spine...please dont think that im cultured or something...i just studied art in high school for my school certificate. And at the time it was my world, it was the only thing that challenged me...i was a geek - still am...so conventional subjects really didnt do much for me.
I was in the top 10 for science, in the top 10 for maths, top 5 for english, top 5 for history, you get the drift...of where i was comparatively to my grade. Doing art enabled me to be creative, it was an outlet, it was my love...
I nurtured my work...i pulled all-nighters for a fortnite each term to complete projects and assignments before the deadline...i made a 3D mask out of 1 single A4 sheet of paper...moulded plasticine into a full-sized mask that could be worn (i still have it)...i painted 4 self-portraits that were displayed in the school library...my sketchbooks were filled with drawings...i always got top marks for my essays, the pamphlet that i made on Jackson Pollock got 25/25 marks. I spent soo much money because i did it all in colour and then i colour photocopied it so that it would be all glossy...hehehe...yes this was prior to me using the computer for anything but games!
I had so many ideas as a kid...now im drawing a blank canvas...the best i could do while being "inspired" was my hand...i think i need a muse...
My book is suppose to be a compendium of my creativity, but its still empty. I went on an escapade to the Australian Museum last year and i had a hit of inspiration then...so i drew a couple of statues and artifacts. But of late...the only other objects i have drawn was a tissue box, a lamp i conjured up in the back of my head one nite...a powerade bottle my brother left on the table one day and thats about it.
So, while i felt inspired i thought "what do i draw?"...*blank*...*blink blink*...*blank*...
I looked at my hands and so i decided to draw my left hand.
It took me about 20 minutes to draw my hand...and funnily enough, my hand looked sad, aged, and stressed.
I like artworks done by expressionists...its evocative and it usually sends a shiver down my spine...please dont think that im cultured or something...i just studied art in high school for my school certificate. And at the time it was my world, it was the only thing that challenged me...i was a geek - still am...so conventional subjects really didnt do much for me.
I was in the top 10 for science, in the top 10 for maths, top 5 for english, top 5 for history, you get the drift...of where i was comparatively to my grade. Doing art enabled me to be creative, it was an outlet, it was my love...
I nurtured my work...i pulled all-nighters for a fortnite each term to complete projects and assignments before the deadline...i made a 3D mask out of 1 single A4 sheet of paper...moulded plasticine into a full-sized mask that could be worn (i still have it)...i painted 4 self-portraits that were displayed in the school library...my sketchbooks were filled with drawings...i always got top marks for my essays, the pamphlet that i made on Jackson Pollock got 25/25 marks. I spent soo much money because i did it all in colour and then i colour photocopied it so that it would be all glossy...hehehe...yes this was prior to me using the computer for anything but games!
I had so many ideas as a kid...now im drawing a blank canvas...the best i could do while being "inspired" was my hand...i think i need a muse...
Thursday, May 20, 2004
Another Complex?
I have this intense urge to walk the other way if someone is trying to sell to me that Person A is an ultra FAB guy, cos he has *this*, *that*, & comes from a "wealthy background".
Now, for me...the moment you use "wealth" in a sentence about someone or as trait to win brownie points - i get skeptical.
The only time that i will be impressed by the mentioning of "wealth" is if the guy is under 30 and became a "guzzillionaire" in his own right because the guy thought up of an idea or physically invented something and then had the brains and balls to mass produce &/or mass market, or sell it off to a large corporation for a HUGE wad of money! NOW THAT is what i call impressive...not that he has so much money, but because he is innovative and smart!
I was reading my Cleo June Mag and there was an article on '69 things women dont know about men.'
One of the points was that "Although women pretend not to care about cars, men know that women are impressed by it!"
Not all girls care about the car a guy drives! I hate driving...cos i tend to drive often and since i have been driving 45 mins to work, and 45 mins back from work, 5 days a week...im absolutely appreciative to anyone who wants to give me a lift. So long as the car doesnt die in the middle of the road and then i gotta get out to push it to the side...im not gonna complain about your car! At the end of the ride, i will even graciously thank you...profusely for driving me home as i get out!
If you think using ur car as some sort of leverage to my heart, that isnt going to happen either. If a guy starts boasting about his car...what engine he has, whether its turbo charged, or what kind of mags he has, what kind of body kit, or any other fudgin details about his customisations...i would smile politely and then bolt to the nearest exit. It doesnt appeal to me, and i dont know who it really does appeal to, except some other rev head/rice boy/etc?
I need retail therapy!
Now, for me...the moment you use "wealth" in a sentence about someone or as trait to win brownie points - i get skeptical.
The only time that i will be impressed by the mentioning of "wealth" is if the guy is under 30 and became a "guzzillionaire" in his own right because the guy thought up of an idea or physically invented something and then had the brains and balls to mass produce &/or mass market, or sell it off to a large corporation for a HUGE wad of money! NOW THAT is what i call impressive...not that he has so much money, but because he is innovative and smart!
I was reading my Cleo June Mag and there was an article on '69 things women dont know about men.'
One of the points was that "Although women pretend not to care about cars, men know that women are impressed by it!"
Not all girls care about the car a guy drives! I hate driving...cos i tend to drive often and since i have been driving 45 mins to work, and 45 mins back from work, 5 days a week...im absolutely appreciative to anyone who wants to give me a lift. So long as the car doesnt die in the middle of the road and then i gotta get out to push it to the side...im not gonna complain about your car! At the end of the ride, i will even graciously thank you...profusely for driving me home as i get out!
If you think using ur car as some sort of leverage to my heart, that isnt going to happen either. If a guy starts boasting about his car...what engine he has, whether its turbo charged, or what kind of mags he has, what kind of body kit, or any other fudgin details about his customisations...i would smile politely and then bolt to the nearest exit. It doesnt appeal to me, and i dont know who it really does appeal to, except some other rev head/rice boy/etc?
I need retail therapy!
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
Fizzle...izzle...zle...
So, i get up the nerve to ask my twin friends more about Him.
I emailed them just a moment ago about Mr Pink Tie.
The wrap they gave me on him...just burst my bubble!
=(
He has a girl...on the side...who he says that they are just friends...but the guy went out of his way to drive her to a party that is like on the opposite end of the world to where he lives!
Although, my friends try to reassure me that there is nothing goin on...im not much interested in a ladiesman!
Oh, well...lets go scouting for a new guy...
Part of the email:
"What did she look like? I think all girls like "Mr Pink Tie" and that's what generally happens... I don't think "Ms L" was there. She ain't that great looking.
I think she wants to be the girl on the side..."Friend A" says they are def prolly NOT shagging...and that he sees her as a friend. What "Ms L" may think is a different story, I think she likes him. They are def not attached though."
Is that suppose to make me feel better?
< *Let that interest in Mr Pink Tie fade now* >
I emailed them just a moment ago about Mr Pink Tie.
The wrap they gave me on him...just burst my bubble!
=(
He has a girl...on the side...who he says that they are just friends...but the guy went out of his way to drive her to a party that is like on the opposite end of the world to where he lives!
Although, my friends try to reassure me that there is nothing goin on...im not much interested in a ladiesman!
Oh, well...lets go scouting for a new guy...
Part of the email:
"What did she look like? I think all girls like "Mr Pink Tie" and that's what generally happens... I don't think "Ms L" was there. She ain't that great looking.
I think she wants to be the girl on the side..."Friend A" says they are def prolly NOT shagging...and that he sees her as a friend. What "Ms L" may think is a different story, I think she likes him. They are def not attached though."
Is that suppose to make me feel better?
< *Let that interest in Mr Pink Tie fade now* >
Non-Smoker...
My mother asked for me to light some incense and pray to my grandparents today in the morning...
A quick guide to a non-smoker, is when you watch them lighting up something and they fail to use a lighter! I couldnt get the darn thing up with a flame...my thumb was red after several attempts...i had to pass it to my mum who was able to light the incense for me. I can manage matches...but a lighter, nope!
One of the biggest turn offs for me is a smoker! Im not alone on this one...boy or girl...im asthmatic, but even if i wasnt...id still hate it.
Kissing a smoker is even more offensive! Its bad enough that i dodge people who are walking on the street and smoking, but kissing a smoker is literally like kissing an ashtray minus the crusty bits of ash that has been stubbed out in it?
Not to mention all the health probs that come with smoking! You may not experience anything now, but that doesnt mean ur safe from it! And passive smoking is the pits, its like getting passed a virus even though u were trying to prevent it!
I commend the Waverley Council with their No-Smoking Policy on their beaches! Now, lets see a domino effect happen and all beaches make it safe and clean by introducing the same policy!
By the way, for all the people who are interested in quitting the bad habit, its World No Tobacco Day this 31st May 2004. Give the patches or gum a go...and perhaps try giving it up as a group...make a bet that you dont want to lose! In the long run, you will appreciate giving up smoking, because u will see the benefits of giving it up reflect in you having better health!
A quick guide to a non-smoker, is when you watch them lighting up something and they fail to use a lighter! I couldnt get the darn thing up with a flame...my thumb was red after several attempts...i had to pass it to my mum who was able to light the incense for me. I can manage matches...but a lighter, nope!
One of the biggest turn offs for me is a smoker! Im not alone on this one...boy or girl...im asthmatic, but even if i wasnt...id still hate it.
Kissing a smoker is even more offensive! Its bad enough that i dodge people who are walking on the street and smoking, but kissing a smoker is literally like kissing an ashtray minus the crusty bits of ash that has been stubbed out in it?
Not to mention all the health probs that come with smoking! You may not experience anything now, but that doesnt mean ur safe from it! And passive smoking is the pits, its like getting passed a virus even though u were trying to prevent it!
I commend the Waverley Council with their No-Smoking Policy on their beaches! Now, lets see a domino effect happen and all beaches make it safe and clean by introducing the same policy!
By the way, for all the people who are interested in quitting the bad habit, its World No Tobacco Day this 31st May 2004. Give the patches or gum a go...and perhaps try giving it up as a group...make a bet that you dont want to lose! In the long run, you will appreciate giving up smoking, because u will see the benefits of giving it up reflect in you having better health!
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
Forgot to mention...another opinion thing!
On Friday nite, we were at 333 for JC's birthday. I met a guy through my twin friends from primary school...yep, we have been friends since kindy.
About that guy...after a long wait, my friends introduced me to him. I had noticed him eye-ing me from time to time...i wasnt sure if he was part of our group, ie JC's friend or not...i thought he was cute, nothing really special...but it was flattering that he was trying to make eye contact with me.
So, after being intro'd we spoke a little...but i soon had to rush and put more coins in the meter for my car. When i got back, the girl that the twins pointed out to me earlier on...as the girl that is currently throwing herself at him, was in fact all over him! The twins dont think that he is interested in her, but i saw him putting his hand on her face, and to me thats gonna give her the wrong message. If you dont like a girl, you dont touch her...not her face - not anywhere! And it wasnt just to brush her hair away from her face, it was a full palm to cheek! >_<
Riss, was a bit too tipsy and was egging me on to make that girl jealous, and give her a run for her money...Mey who was also tipsy...was also egging me on to speak to him. What i didnt get to do was point out his ex to you guys, who was there! She reminds me of Diana DeGarmo, but with larger eyes...she actually has that same hair colour, possibly a lil lighter, that sort of build too (a little slimmer, but curvy) and the same height. Very cute, and she took a foto of us, so i spoke to her for a second...she seems friendly.
I was finding it difficult to just go speak to him...considering there were heaps of girls vying for his attention...especially that girl fornicating over him...okay that was harsh, i shouldnt have used that term...but u get the idea.
Im not the type to make any effort for a guy unless i really like him, and since i didnt know much about him...i wasnt going to make any first moves that would take myself out of my comfort zone. Especially when it was looking ultra difficult to put myself out of my comfort zone just to speak to him. Our mutual friends were being chatted up by a group of blonde blokes, and he was speaking to one girl after another.
I was waiting for him to have a moment on his own so that i could casually go speak with him...but there wasnt that moment. I was waiting for my friends to rejoin in a conversation with him so that i could casually go speak with all of them...but that didnt happen either.
At which point our group decided to leave and have dinner at Masuya's. So, I hugged and kissed the twins good bye, and i paused to see where the rest of the party was...and thats when we made eye contact and i waved good bye to him. He approached me and asked if i was leaving now...(erm, yes). *^_^*
He asked if the twins were going too, i said i was going with my other friends who i was initially here with, and he said he noticed. He then told me "i guess i'll see you around then..." In which i stoopidly said "yeah, organise it with the twins!" I said good bye again, smiled and then walked away.
When i was driving Mey, Yui and JC home...i told them and Mey and JC both slammed me for not getting the nerve to speak to him or to get his number...or offer to give mine! Like when he said "i guess i'll see you around"...JC suggested i had said to him: "well, call me when you guys go out..." and of course give him my number...or ask for his number, or something...other than passing the buck to a third party - the twins!
Look, to be honest i wasnt thinking...i was just a lil excited that a decent guy seemed interested in me. I say decent, because the twins were eager to introduce him to me, and im trusting their taste and instincts.
So, did i do and say the wrong things? Possibly...but hey...ino his name...ino what he does...we did speak for a moment there...hopefully i left a lasting impression...hmm...maybe not...
***
I had a really funky Mocktail at Masuya...and some funky desserts at Asuka (behind BT on the cnr of Kent & Market St) - if you have the chance try the "Green Tea Cheesecake" with vanilla bean ice cream. I have yet to try the "Green Tea Creme Brulee" at Kobe Jones...but I will...one day! '_^
About that guy...after a long wait, my friends introduced me to him. I had noticed him eye-ing me from time to time...i wasnt sure if he was part of our group, ie JC's friend or not...i thought he was cute, nothing really special...but it was flattering that he was trying to make eye contact with me.
So, after being intro'd we spoke a little...but i soon had to rush and put more coins in the meter for my car. When i got back, the girl that the twins pointed out to me earlier on...as the girl that is currently throwing herself at him, was in fact all over him! The twins dont think that he is interested in her, but i saw him putting his hand on her face, and to me thats gonna give her the wrong message. If you dont like a girl, you dont touch her...not her face - not anywhere! And it wasnt just to brush her hair away from her face, it was a full palm to cheek! >_<
Riss, was a bit too tipsy and was egging me on to make that girl jealous, and give her a run for her money...Mey who was also tipsy...was also egging me on to speak to him. What i didnt get to do was point out his ex to you guys, who was there! She reminds me of Diana DeGarmo, but with larger eyes...she actually has that same hair colour, possibly a lil lighter, that sort of build too (a little slimmer, but curvy) and the same height. Very cute, and she took a foto of us, so i spoke to her for a second...she seems friendly.
I was finding it difficult to just go speak to him...considering there were heaps of girls vying for his attention...especially that girl fornicating over him...okay that was harsh, i shouldnt have used that term...but u get the idea.
Im not the type to make any effort for a guy unless i really like him, and since i didnt know much about him...i wasnt going to make any first moves that would take myself out of my comfort zone. Especially when it was looking ultra difficult to put myself out of my comfort zone just to speak to him. Our mutual friends were being chatted up by a group of blonde blokes, and he was speaking to one girl after another.
I was waiting for him to have a moment on his own so that i could casually go speak with him...but there wasnt that moment. I was waiting for my friends to rejoin in a conversation with him so that i could casually go speak with all of them...but that didnt happen either.
At which point our group decided to leave and have dinner at Masuya's. So, I hugged and kissed the twins good bye, and i paused to see where the rest of the party was...and thats when we made eye contact and i waved good bye to him. He approached me and asked if i was leaving now...(erm, yes). *^_^*
He asked if the twins were going too, i said i was going with my other friends who i was initially here with, and he said he noticed. He then told me "i guess i'll see you around then..." In which i stoopidly said "yeah, organise it with the twins!" I said good bye again, smiled and then walked away.
When i was driving Mey, Yui and JC home...i told them and Mey and JC both slammed me for not getting the nerve to speak to him or to get his number...or offer to give mine! Like when he said "i guess i'll see you around"...JC suggested i had said to him: "well, call me when you guys go out..." and of course give him my number...or ask for his number, or something...other than passing the buck to a third party - the twins!
Look, to be honest i wasnt thinking...i was just a lil excited that a decent guy seemed interested in me. I say decent, because the twins were eager to introduce him to me, and im trusting their taste and instincts.
So, did i do and say the wrong things? Possibly...but hey...ino his name...ino what he does...we did speak for a moment there...hopefully i left a lasting impression...hmm...maybe not...
I had a really funky Mocktail at Masuya...and some funky desserts at Asuka (behind BT on the cnr of Kent & Market St) - if you have the chance try the "Green Tea Cheesecake" with vanilla bean ice cream. I have yet to try the "Green Tea Creme Brulee" at Kobe Jones...but I will...one day! '_^
What childhood?
I was watching enough rope last nite...there was John Travolta as a special guest...Andrew Denton was asking about his children. John was speaking about how his 4 year old daughter, Elle was more like a 30 year old woman...he asks the audience - dont you think kids these days are like adults...they go straight for the dresses, make up, etc...they no longer act like children...
At which point im nodding my head cos im thinking about Chloe again...
During dinner, her mother said to me that as she drove with Chloe in the front of the car to pick up her father from work...My sis-in-law said "if you dont sit down, i will spank u!" Chloe continues standing on the chair and so my sis-in-law spanks her. Now chloe proceeds to sit down, but she crosses her arms with a *hmph* and turns to the window. Her mother tries to touch her leg and apologises, and she responds with "Don't touch me please."
Remember, Chloe is only 2 years and 7 months.
My sis-in-law was telling me why Chloe doesnt like childcare. Apparently, while she is there...she doesnt play with the kids her age, she likes playing with older children or she actually follows the Supervisor of the Childcare Centre while he does his duties for the day. The Supervisor holds her hand and she just follows...a bit weird for my liking...
She is moody & melodramatic...she was singing incy-wincy spider...and i was showing her the hand movements...she couldnt do the spider action so my mum tried to help her and show her how to do it. But her hands were so rigid...she gave up and took a brochure and pretended to get excited over some Cat in the Hat advert, diverting everyone attention to that, rather than everyone fixating on her failure to do hand actions for a nursery rhyme.
Im worried about her...
Although, on Sunday morning...Chloe woke up and the dialogue between her and her parents were:
Chloe (Still in bed): "Hello, anyone there?"
Dad (Also in bed): "Sorry, no one here."
Chloe: "Okay then." (She lies back down on her bed)
Dad whispers to Mum: "Lets hide under the covers."
Chloe (Decides to be a smarty and walks up to her parents bed): "I see you!"
During the nite before, everyone was taking fotos, and fotos not of Chloe, but of her little sister Aimee. So she says to her father with her fingers clicking: "Peter! Peter, over here...look at Chloe!"
I dont know if that makes me feel any better, but i thought it was funny when her parents were telling me! *LoL*
At which point im nodding my head cos im thinking about Chloe again...
During dinner, her mother said to me that as she drove with Chloe in the front of the car to pick up her father from work...My sis-in-law said "if you dont sit down, i will spank u!" Chloe continues standing on the chair and so my sis-in-law spanks her. Now chloe proceeds to sit down, but she crosses her arms with a *hmph* and turns to the window. Her mother tries to touch her leg and apologises, and she responds with "Don't touch me please."
Remember, Chloe is only 2 years and 7 months.
My sis-in-law was telling me why Chloe doesnt like childcare. Apparently, while she is there...she doesnt play with the kids her age, she likes playing with older children or she actually follows the Supervisor of the Childcare Centre while he does his duties for the day. The Supervisor holds her hand and she just follows...a bit weird for my liking...
She is moody & melodramatic...she was singing incy-wincy spider...and i was showing her the hand movements...she couldnt do the spider action so my mum tried to help her and show her how to do it. But her hands were so rigid...she gave up and took a brochure and pretended to get excited over some Cat in the Hat advert, diverting everyone attention to that, rather than everyone fixating on her failure to do hand actions for a nursery rhyme.
Im worried about her...
Although, on Sunday morning...Chloe woke up and the dialogue between her and her parents were:
Chloe (Still in bed): "Hello, anyone there?"
Dad (Also in bed): "Sorry, no one here."
Chloe: "Okay then." (She lies back down on her bed)
Dad whispers to Mum: "Lets hide under the covers."
Chloe (Decides to be a smarty and walks up to her parents bed): "I see you!"
During the nite before, everyone was taking fotos, and fotos not of Chloe, but of her little sister Aimee. So she says to her father with her fingers clicking: "Peter! Peter, over here...look at Chloe!"
I dont know if that makes me feel any better, but i thought it was funny when her parents were telling me! *LoL*
Friday, May 14, 2004
The Price Charming Complex...
Whilst i was trying to sleep...i was listening to my Franz Ferdinand CD (much thanx to xtn) in bed...this was whilst i was having a fever (which is why many emails were unanswered from work, cos i was at home)...and as i was actually dancing under my blanket (that album is soo 80's fun)...after about 6 tracks, i slowly fell asleep...but at about 1am on Thursday morning i woke up and couldnt fall back to sleep...so, here i was half delirious - i put Franz Ferdinand back on and try to sleep...but instead i started to think of my favourite stories and what i discovered about myself is that i have a pathetic complex!
I call it my Fairytale Fantasy or my Prince Charming Complex. The books that i have read since i was a child...from the Little Golden Books on Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Beauty and the Beast, etc...you get the picture...to the more advanced hard covered version of such fairytales. Even as an adult now, i still love the Cinderella story, which is why i like Drew Barrymore's version "Ever After" oh so much!
My Complex, i think explains why im still single-by-choice. I dont "love" the idea of a prince, or want a Mary Elizabeth Donaldson sort of moment. What i have always been attracted to is the gentleman like demeanour of the prince, his masculinity, the air of romanticism, he is portrayed as a man with interpersonal and physical strength...the type of guy that is capable of sweeping me off my feet!
/pause
/rewind to reality
I have to admit now (i dont want to admit it, but i must be honest)...im a romantic through and through...im so fudgin' gay sometimes!...id like to think that i am an educated and realistic girl. I know that finding a guy like that is ultra slim, not impossible, although im not holding my breath...but i just cant settle for second best either...which is why i also accept being single.
Remember, looks isnt the part of Prince Charming that im attracted to...i think in most its his strength...most of the princes in the fairytales always save the girl at the end of the day...and more importantly...they live happily ever after...
I call it my Fairytale Fantasy or my Prince Charming Complex. The books that i have read since i was a child...from the Little Golden Books on Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Beauty and the Beast, etc...you get the picture...to the more advanced hard covered version of such fairytales. Even as an adult now, i still love the Cinderella story, which is why i like Drew Barrymore's version "Ever After" oh so much!
My Complex, i think explains why im still single-by-choice. I dont "love" the idea of a prince, or want a Mary Elizabeth Donaldson sort of moment. What i have always been attracted to is the gentleman like demeanour of the prince, his masculinity, the air of romanticism, he is portrayed as a man with interpersonal and physical strength...the type of guy that is capable of sweeping me off my feet!
/pause
/rewind to reality
I have to admit now (i dont want to admit it, but i must be honest)...im a romantic through and through...im so fudgin' gay sometimes!...id like to think that i am an educated and realistic girl. I know that finding a guy like that is ultra slim, not impossible, although im not holding my breath...but i just cant settle for second best either...which is why i also accept being single.
Remember, looks isnt the part of Prince Charming that im attracted to...i think in most its his strength...most of the princes in the fairytales always save the girl at the end of the day...and more importantly...they live happily ever after...
What is your opinion on this?
You must have seen "Something about Miriam?" or the adverts on this UK show on Channel 10 at some stage right? Well, whilst i was running on the treadmill at my local gym, i watched the initial show where the 6 men were introduced to Miriam and Miriam to the world.
Now, you could say that this is like an Average Joe with a twist, because Miriam isnt quite 100% woman as the men might believe...Miriam's secret is that she is really a he with a masculine member still attached. Miriam is a transexual, who had been taking hormones since 11 years of age. Now at 21, Miriam has had breast implants but nothing surgically removed and is a model in the US.
She, well she wants to be referred to as a she...She says that she has never been in love before...well what do you expect? She was once a man and changed to a female, but still has the male part...if you want to attract a hetero male and then keep him, it would probably best to remove the penis.
BUT im not sure as to how many hetero male would accept the fact that you were male and then changed to a female...not to say that there arent men who are that open-minded...but i dare say that there are very few. As a female, i cant really speak for the mass of men out there. But im putting myself in a similar situation, where i was involved with a person who i thought was a man, but i later find out that he was a she previously...i cant say that i would accept the person...the way that they were.
I would feel a bit cheated, but then again...i cant really ask of the person to tell me straight away, like whilst we were dating...they dont owe that to anyone.
On a lighter note...we have seen scenes from the show where Miriam is getting hot and heavy with some of the guys...if Miriam still has a penis, does it not erect under feelings of arousal? So, is it an inactive penis? >_< Like OMG!!!
Whilst i was at home stuck with the flu...i was watching Oprah. Her show co-inky dinky was talking about transexuals, men who got married and had kids and then decided that they really should be women. Talk about hard stuff for the wife and kids to accept and adapt to. But they did, not to say that it wasnt a long and bumpy ride, but they are still a family unit.
One part of the show yesterday, showed a 14 year old girl, whose parents thought she was a lesbian, but later found out that she was a transexual...it was heart wrenching to hear that she, now a he is ready to date, but admits that its hard to attract girls to be interested in dating a girl who is now a guy...talk about tough love. I think its harder if you are a transexual cos as that girl, now boy, says: "...straight girls are interested in straight boys...its also hard because you are not interested in lesbians, and the lesbians are interested in feminine females anyways..."
So...what would you do, as a guy would you be accepting of Miriam?
Now, you could say that this is like an Average Joe with a twist, because Miriam isnt quite 100% woman as the men might believe...Miriam's secret is that she is really a he with a masculine member still attached. Miriam is a transexual, who had been taking hormones since 11 years of age. Now at 21, Miriam has had breast implants but nothing surgically removed and is a model in the US.
She, well she wants to be referred to as a she...She says that she has never been in love before...well what do you expect? She was once a man and changed to a female, but still has the male part...if you want to attract a hetero male and then keep him, it would probably best to remove the penis.
BUT im not sure as to how many hetero male would accept the fact that you were male and then changed to a female...not to say that there arent men who are that open-minded...but i dare say that there are very few. As a female, i cant really speak for the mass of men out there. But im putting myself in a similar situation, where i was involved with a person who i thought was a man, but i later find out that he was a she previously...i cant say that i would accept the person...the way that they were.
I would feel a bit cheated, but then again...i cant really ask of the person to tell me straight away, like whilst we were dating...they dont owe that to anyone.
On a lighter note...we have seen scenes from the show where Miriam is getting hot and heavy with some of the guys...if Miriam still has a penis, does it not erect under feelings of arousal? So, is it an inactive penis? >_< Like OMG!!!
Whilst i was at home stuck with the flu...i was watching Oprah. Her show co-inky dinky was talking about transexuals, men who got married and had kids and then decided that they really should be women. Talk about hard stuff for the wife and kids to accept and adapt to. But they did, not to say that it wasnt a long and bumpy ride, but they are still a family unit.
One part of the show yesterday, showed a 14 year old girl, whose parents thought she was a lesbian, but later found out that she was a transexual...it was heart wrenching to hear that she, now a he is ready to date, but admits that its hard to attract girls to be interested in dating a girl who is now a guy...talk about tough love. I think its harder if you are a transexual cos as that girl, now boy, says: "...straight girls are interested in straight boys...its also hard because you are not interested in lesbians, and the lesbians are interested in feminine females anyways..."
So...what would you do, as a guy would you be accepting of Miriam?
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
Magnum Vice Cream - Illicit Vodka Cranberry
It will be the death of me...having a set of sweet teeth aint a good thing! But then, by golly gosh...you just gotta savour every bit of juicy pink coloured chocolate. Dont just chomp on it, and chew and swallow it down the gurgler...
Im pedantic in the way i eat my ice cream...i open one end of the wrapper...the top, so that i can easily take a bite of the ice cream and still keep my hands clean...i took a bite, allowed the chocolate to melt in my mouth... and i waited while the creamy texture just slide down my throat...*YUM*...
I savour every bite...mixture of vanilla ice cream with swirls of "vodka" sauce...not that there is any trace of alcohol in the ice cream...but yeah...mmm...
Once i finished the ice cream i noticed on the stick that there was something written on one side of it...which encouraged me to suck the rest of the ice cream and pink chocolate off the stick so that i could read the full message. What did it say? "Its our little secret..."
And although it was soo yum that i should keep it a secret...im the type of person who believes in "sharing is caring"...in terms of good food...so please...if you like sweets...go try out the new Magnum range...i dont think you could go wrong with any of the choices.
;)
Im pedantic in the way i eat my ice cream...i open one end of the wrapper...the top, so that i can easily take a bite of the ice cream and still keep my hands clean...i took a bite, allowed the chocolate to melt in my mouth... and i waited while the creamy texture just slide down my throat...*YUM*...
I savour every bite...mixture of vanilla ice cream with swirls of "vodka" sauce...not that there is any trace of alcohol in the ice cream...but yeah...mmm...
Once i finished the ice cream i noticed on the stick that there was something written on one side of it...which encouraged me to suck the rest of the ice cream and pink chocolate off the stick so that i could read the full message. What did it say? "Its our little secret..."
And although it was soo yum that i should keep it a secret...im the type of person who believes in "sharing is caring"...in terms of good food...so please...if you like sweets...go try out the new Magnum range...i dont think you could go wrong with any of the choices.
;)
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
pick.me.up ^
I'm not writing this to gloat...if anything its more to remind me that im not as pitiful as i may sometimes think of myself...this is for those days when all i see in front of my horizon are dark clouds...whilst this is fresh, just occurred...knowing my memory, i need to write it down so that i wont forget it!
You SO look like your mother...as my previous blog, this is a compliment...its a sign that i should age gracefully like my mother...and its nice to know that people think she looks really young for her age...so hopefully when i get to her age, i will look just as good!
There are still some men out there that believe in romance...its uplifting to know that there is still hope...that there are guys out there that want the same things that i want from a partner...those guys may not be right for me, but hey...it doesnt hurt to know such guys to help me get through those days where i sit and think "what the? where are those romantic men in the world???" right in front of me apparently! hehheehe
The world is small...6 degrees of separation...i will bump into my future partner shortly through a friend...how many people have i met through friends who have introduced their friends to me?...quite a number of them...how many bfs have i met through other friends...all of them!
My parents have shown that they are proud of me...expressed before, during and after my Graduation...my parents would have given me anything to be honest, had i asked them for it. i didnt ask for anything except that we all get there on time...i'm still waiting for my portraits to be sent to me, i think they will show two parents smiling from ear to ear!
Im surrounded by nice people...the people ino and love are beautiful beings...anybody who i would deem toxic, well...i sever all ties with such people...and hopefully i can breathe easier knowing that my judgement is still clear and i wont suffer from heartache later on...well i havent really suffered from heartache, so i guess thats a plus...
Im organized, resiliant, an angel, a champ, have a gorgeous figure...these are only a couple of the compliments i got last week from various men...young and older...i appreciate them for what they are worth...thank u...i just need to remember that they were given to me...directed to me...only for me...*LoL*
Being nice, doing helpful things for others...it makes me feel good...i like going around and, well...offer the helping hand to someone who is short of a hand (so to speak). There was a guy in a wheelchair who was in his local newsagent...i was in there during my lunch break to pick up some cards for my friends who were graduating...he dropped some coins that he was balancing off his leg. i thought it was a bit rude that surrounding people didnt even notice...so i walked over and helped him pick up his coins...he said thanks and it made me happy!
Music is good for the soul...and sometimes...jazz and blues is the cure for that heartsinking feeling you have deep within the core of yourself...a good dose of Sade makes me feel better, my favourite song is still kiss of life...drown out your sorrow by turning the music up loud...get comfy in your chair and just sink into it...
Laugh out loud...preferrably at yourself...i can say and do blonde things...so can my brothers...so can anyone really, so i honestly shouldnt call it "blonde things"...just laugh...a good hearty laugh...talk to that person who always manages to make you see the sunny side of things...in my case, its any one of my fantabulous girlfriends... *^_^*
^ pick.me.up: NO! (in a defensive tone), im not referring to getting picked up by a guy...do one of the listed things, or at least remember one of them and feel better about urself...go on...
You SO look like your mother...as my previous blog, this is a compliment...its a sign that i should age gracefully like my mother...and its nice to know that people think she looks really young for her age...so hopefully when i get to her age, i will look just as good!
There are still some men out there that believe in romance...its uplifting to know that there is still hope...that there are guys out there that want the same things that i want from a partner...those guys may not be right for me, but hey...it doesnt hurt to know such guys to help me get through those days where i sit and think "what the? where are those romantic men in the world???" right in front of me apparently! hehheehe
The world is small...6 degrees of separation...i will bump into my future partner shortly through a friend...how many people have i met through friends who have introduced their friends to me?...quite a number of them...how many bfs have i met through other friends...all of them!
My parents have shown that they are proud of me...expressed before, during and after my Graduation...my parents would have given me anything to be honest, had i asked them for it. i didnt ask for anything except that we all get there on time...i'm still waiting for my portraits to be sent to me, i think they will show two parents smiling from ear to ear!
Im surrounded by nice people...the people ino and love are beautiful beings...anybody who i would deem toxic, well...i sever all ties with such people...and hopefully i can breathe easier knowing that my judgement is still clear and i wont suffer from heartache later on...well i havent really suffered from heartache, so i guess thats a plus...
Im organized, resiliant, an angel, a champ, have a gorgeous figure...these are only a couple of the compliments i got last week from various men...young and older...i appreciate them for what they are worth...thank u...i just need to remember that they were given to me...directed to me...only for me...*LoL*
Being nice, doing helpful things for others...it makes me feel good...i like going around and, well...offer the helping hand to someone who is short of a hand (so to speak). There was a guy in a wheelchair who was in his local newsagent...i was in there during my lunch break to pick up some cards for my friends who were graduating...he dropped some coins that he was balancing off his leg. i thought it was a bit rude that surrounding people didnt even notice...so i walked over and helped him pick up his coins...he said thanks and it made me happy!
Music is good for the soul...and sometimes...jazz and blues is the cure for that heartsinking feeling you have deep within the core of yourself...a good dose of Sade makes me feel better, my favourite song is still kiss of life...drown out your sorrow by turning the music up loud...get comfy in your chair and just sink into it...
Laugh out loud...preferrably at yourself...i can say and do blonde things...so can my brothers...so can anyone really, so i honestly shouldnt call it "blonde things"...just laugh...a good hearty laugh...talk to that person who always manages to make you see the sunny side of things...in my case, its any one of my fantabulous girlfriends... *^_^*
^ pick.me.up: NO! (in a defensive tone), im not referring to getting picked up by a guy...do one of the listed things, or at least remember one of them and feel better about urself...go on...
Monday, May 10, 2004
Confronting my fears...
Growing old: Im not worried about dying...quite frankly, if you recall...i wouldnt mind dying when i reach 30. Thats not long considering that im 23 now...but hey, thats what i want, not sure if im gonna get it...but anyways...i fear looking terrible when i age...like when i get to 50...how would i look? Id like to age gracefully...but who knows...?
Im grateful that everyone says (well researchers & doctors alike), you just need to look to your parents for the blue prints of your future. My mother will be 50 this year, and to me...she is looking fit for her age. She still has a great figure, curves in the right places...although after 3 children she has a bit of a belly...but i think that comes with the territory of being a mum.
Being lonely: So, long as i have friends...so long as i can keep myself busy...i dont feel lonely. I read a friends blog...and he said he wanted to enter in the Archibald one day...i wouldnt mind doing that one day too...i loved painting and making sculptures...i want to buy an easel and paint more often...i'll do it one day, when im bored and feeling lonesome.
Cleaning my room: I am literally scared of cleaning my room...I may appear to be an immaculate perfectionist on the outside...and i am. But like most genius' (im not...but to colourfully paint my picture, i'll use this analogy), i have a room that looks like a tornado has hit it.
I fear that if i clean my room...i will lose all the things that i treasure...or i may throw out something that i will need in a months time. I have placed everything within arms length...ahahhaa...even though it looks messy, i know where everything is currently located.
I dont think it helps much that my room is tiny and yet i have over 70 pairs of shoes, over 50 bags, and so many pieces of clothing!!! Its crazy!!! I think i will make this another project for my bored days...
Motherhood: I think every woman can honestly say that she didnt know what to expect or whether she would be a good mother...as i carry Aimee (niece #2) in my arms, i think "gee...i put her to sleep...maybe i could be a mother after all..." Although, i dont want kids...is that selfish of me? Possibly, but then again, to me...i think im being a good samaritan to the future poor soul who would have been unfortunate enough to get the short straw and be my kid.
I think im irresponsible, hot tempered, irrational, impatient, all of the bad things under the sun! But hey, im being honest...i shouldnt "cut it" to be a mother...but im not anti-motherhood either. I'm not a feminist in that way. I believe woman have the choice to be mothers, and i believe that if u want kids, then you should be responsible about it and be at home for your children as much as you can.
I think, preferrably...you should be an at home mother until your child is old enough to fully express whatever pain they are feeling, or when they can tell you specifically that it was Kathy who kicked her shin during lunch, so that you can go in and tell Kathy's mother off for being a bad mother...or instructing your child to kick Kathy back when she gets the first chance!!! (You see, im too volatile...not good for motherhood!)
2 year old vegetarians: my niece #1 - Chloe...she is a vegetarian by choice. She didnt want to drink milk from about the age of 4 months...according to the child psychologist, in her mind, because she is very mature...she wants to eat the food we (adults) eat. What i want to know, is what made her decide to abstain from eating meat?! Hello, us adults that surround her are all meat eaters!!! If she wants to eat what we want to eat, then why isnt she eating meat?! Give her any form of greens, and she will consume it like no tomoro...give her a bite of beef/pork/fish/chicken/etc...and she will push the spoon/fork away and say "NO!"
She is not only a vegetarian by choice, but she has mood swings and gets upset...sometimes she does resemble an adult with depression...especially when her sister Aimee was born...she actually went on a starvation strike! I had to lure her out to McD's one day so that she could play in the playground and get a free toy with the Happy Meal...and altho it may not be the most nutritious meal ever...i was over the moon that she ate 3/4 of the cheeseburger and some fries and she was eating my berri-nice yogurt. She wouldnt eat dinner the nite before and she wouldnt have breakfast...so you can see why i was over the moon that she ate, let alone consuming something that resembled meat!
What worries me further is the fact that Aimee who is only 2 months old...is actually laughing and responds when you call or speak to her...not that its a bad thing that a baby can respond to someone calling her or speaking to her...its just a matter of how developed her mind is that im a bit worried about. If Chloe is a 2 y/o vegetarian by choice...what will Aimee be at 2? What will happen when they reach their teens?
I look at my younger brother and his declarations of love to his gf. He argues with my mother that he is "old enough" now. All these young beings thinking that they are old enough really worries me further. I look at my cousins, all of whom have had boyfriends when they were as young as 11 y/o. At this point i cry "What is wrong with today's youths?"
One of my cousins use to feel strongly about family and the bonds we share...at family outings - she would be there playing with the younger kids, because she loved kids...now, you wouldnt find her even close to a family outing...she would be out with her bf. Altho they go to the same College...and see eachother because they are in the same classes...and she sees him every nite and most mornings he would be picking her up...and all weekend if they arent working they would be seeing eachother...
Im the claustraphobic type...if i saw my partner that much, i think i would hyperventilate and pass out from seeing him too much...Her mother is worried...not that my cousin cares...she use to be trustworthy, now you cant rely on her to be there like before...And this isnt her first boyfriend either...I guess she feels that she loves this bf more than any other before, which would explain her behaviour today.
This is getting too long...i think im just going to end it here...
Im grateful that everyone says (well researchers & doctors alike), you just need to look to your parents for the blue prints of your future. My mother will be 50 this year, and to me...she is looking fit for her age. She still has a great figure, curves in the right places...although after 3 children she has a bit of a belly...but i think that comes with the territory of being a mum.
Being lonely: So, long as i have friends...so long as i can keep myself busy...i dont feel lonely. I read a friends blog...and he said he wanted to enter in the Archibald one day...i wouldnt mind doing that one day too...i loved painting and making sculptures...i want to buy an easel and paint more often...i'll do it one day, when im bored and feeling lonesome.
Cleaning my room: I am literally scared of cleaning my room...I may appear to be an immaculate perfectionist on the outside...and i am. But like most genius' (im not...but to colourfully paint my picture, i'll use this analogy), i have a room that looks like a tornado has hit it.
I fear that if i clean my room...i will lose all the things that i treasure...or i may throw out something that i will need in a months time. I have placed everything within arms length...ahahhaa...even though it looks messy, i know where everything is currently located.
I dont think it helps much that my room is tiny and yet i have over 70 pairs of shoes, over 50 bags, and so many pieces of clothing!!! Its crazy!!! I think i will make this another project for my bored days...
Motherhood: I think every woman can honestly say that she didnt know what to expect or whether she would be a good mother...as i carry Aimee (niece #2) in my arms, i think "gee...i put her to sleep...maybe i could be a mother after all..." Although, i dont want kids...is that selfish of me? Possibly, but then again, to me...i think im being a good samaritan to the future poor soul who would have been unfortunate enough to get the short straw and be my kid.
I think im irresponsible, hot tempered, irrational, impatient, all of the bad things under the sun! But hey, im being honest...i shouldnt "cut it" to be a mother...but im not anti-motherhood either. I'm not a feminist in that way. I believe woman have the choice to be mothers, and i believe that if u want kids, then you should be responsible about it and be at home for your children as much as you can.
I think, preferrably...you should be an at home mother until your child is old enough to fully express whatever pain they are feeling, or when they can tell you specifically that it was Kathy who kicked her shin during lunch, so that you can go in and tell Kathy's mother off for being a bad mother...or instructing your child to kick Kathy back when she gets the first chance!!! (You see, im too volatile...not good for motherhood!)
2 year old vegetarians: my niece #1 - Chloe...she is a vegetarian by choice. She didnt want to drink milk from about the age of 4 months...according to the child psychologist, in her mind, because she is very mature...she wants to eat the food we (adults) eat. What i want to know, is what made her decide to abstain from eating meat?! Hello, us adults that surround her are all meat eaters!!! If she wants to eat what we want to eat, then why isnt she eating meat?! Give her any form of greens, and she will consume it like no tomoro...give her a bite of beef/pork/fish/chicken/etc...and she will push the spoon/fork away and say "NO!"
She is not only a vegetarian by choice, but she has mood swings and gets upset...sometimes she does resemble an adult with depression...especially when her sister Aimee was born...she actually went on a starvation strike! I had to lure her out to McD's one day so that she could play in the playground and get a free toy with the Happy Meal...and altho it may not be the most nutritious meal ever...i was over the moon that she ate 3/4 of the cheeseburger and some fries and she was eating my berri-nice yogurt. She wouldnt eat dinner the nite before and she wouldnt have breakfast...so you can see why i was over the moon that she ate, let alone consuming something that resembled meat!
What worries me further is the fact that Aimee who is only 2 months old...is actually laughing and responds when you call or speak to her...not that its a bad thing that a baby can respond to someone calling her or speaking to her...its just a matter of how developed her mind is that im a bit worried about. If Chloe is a 2 y/o vegetarian by choice...what will Aimee be at 2? What will happen when they reach their teens?
I look at my younger brother and his declarations of love to his gf. He argues with my mother that he is "old enough" now. All these young beings thinking that they are old enough really worries me further. I look at my cousins, all of whom have had boyfriends when they were as young as 11 y/o. At this point i cry "What is wrong with today's youths?"
One of my cousins use to feel strongly about family and the bonds we share...at family outings - she would be there playing with the younger kids, because she loved kids...now, you wouldnt find her even close to a family outing...she would be out with her bf. Altho they go to the same College...and see eachother because they are in the same classes...and she sees him every nite and most mornings he would be picking her up...and all weekend if they arent working they would be seeing eachother...
Im the claustraphobic type...if i saw my partner that much, i think i would hyperventilate and pass out from seeing him too much...Her mother is worried...not that my cousin cares...she use to be trustworthy, now you cant rely on her to be there like before...And this isnt her first boyfriend either...I guess she feels that she loves this bf more than any other before, which would explain her behaviour today.
This is getting too long...i think im just going to end it here...
Thursday, May 06, 2004
uhh...*blank*
I'm either:
(1) coming down with a cold or flu
(2) bored with the lack there of a challenge
(3) got a migraine
(4) suffering from a mental block
(5) allergic to work
OR
it may be all of the above...
=(
Please please pretty please...i want to be well for what i have planned for Mother's Day!
(1) coming down with a cold or flu
(2) bored with the lack there of a challenge
(3) got a migraine
(4) suffering from a mental block
(5) allergic to work
OR
it may be all of the above...
=(
Please please pretty please...i want to be well for what i have planned for Mother's Day!
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
The Suit Factor!
Disclaimer: This isnt an accurate account, this is purely based on my opinion...Often it is due to girlfriends asking "What do you think of him?" So, please dont take this as gospel, but i can say that the underlying fact is that most girls do agree with this idea, maybe just not in the exact terms of my gradient.
The Suit Factor: For me, I dont often rate guys...i dont know why, i just dont. Not until a girlfriend asks me for my opinion on a guy that she has spotted. And usually in response, I would say "he's okay"..."hehehe, he is cute"..."i like his smile"...im more descriptive than numerical when it comes to rating.
When my friend asks about a guy in a fitted suit, now this is the grunt of the conversation, he generally will get a better rating than he would in ill-fitting casual gear, or even if he was in fitting casual gear! If you are an average guy with a suit that fits, let me insist that you take up all the opportunities you can get and wear it! I really do implore you to do so. You dont understand what sort of impact that it has on women!
A guy in a fitted suit will generally get an "OMG he is cute" versus any other time he would have been a "yeah...he's alright..." Thats based on a general consensus with my fellow female friends...remember this isnt gospel...but most women would agree that a guy is mega-watt-ed HOT if he is groomed and wearing a fitting suit...tailored suits is preferred by this chickie...but, hey i wont know from a glance at a distance. Okay, from the stare not just a glance! but still at a distance.
For all the guys reading this, i'll put this into a more tangible, logical form so that you can get your mind to understand the importance of wearing a fitting suit! On a scale between 1 to 10, 1 for bad, 5 for average, 10 for OMFG HOT! If i have to give a rating, i never give more than an 8. Thats just me, im pretty harsh...and i tend to give full marks for the full package: so its not just looks, it includes personality too!
Now, often when i say a guy is "okay" that equates to about a 5...so pop a fitting suit on a guy that normally gets a 5, and he will be bumped up to an 8...for me, the deviant is a +3. For guys who rate below average, say numerically he was a 3, pop him in a fitting suit and he will be a 6. Now, that is a fair jump from below average to above average. But, do you see what the magic of a really good fitting suit can do for you?
Its not always a +3, thats just for example sake...to give you an idea. But hey, just get it into your minds that you could potentially be "dateable" instead of "forgettable". All it takes is a good fitting suit. If you still dont believe me, do what a friend of ours did. Go to a store and try on two separate suits. One more expensive than the other, and you will find that the more expensive suit tends to be more fitted, and i think that is based on the pattern it was cut from. Basically, invest in a suit...it is costly, i dont disagree with you there, but you should look at it as an investment! The more expensive suit, you will find sinches in the waist where it should, the arm length tends to sit just below the wrist, the suit just sits perfectly aligned with your shoulders...
With every good suit, it helps if you have polished shoes to match. And i dont mean that if you are wearing a pin striped suit, to wear pin striped shoes...i dont think they even exist...hehehe... What i mean is if you are wearing an expensive suit, dont go and wear cheap scuffed shoes. Wear a pair of shoes that are appropriate. It will also help if you are groomed...clean hair tends to lend a hand in the "attractive" department.
Dont get me wrong, im not bagging guys out...im really just trying to offer some insight and mostly my opinion. This goes both ways...
Women should also wear fitted suits. It could make the difference between having a waist or looking like a tree trunk. I have also been told by guys that one of the "sexy" looks for them, is a woman in a good suit jacket with matching pencil skirt and heels. And i must admit, a guy stopped for me at work today - to pave a way for me to walk past. It could have been a coincidence, but hey, i'll just use it to back up my argument!
What am i wearing? I'm wearing the tweed suit jacket that i bought for my Graduation...with a black pencil skirt and black stilettos. I may not look like da bomb! but i can safely say, cos the tweed suit jacket sits perfectly, combined with my faithful black pencil skirt, i look much better than i usually do. I probably got bumped from "pretty plain" to "hey, she's pretty cute..."
Fitted suits sit well, it seems to fit like a glove. Its not tight, like you are wrapped by glad wrap. Its not loose either, like its hanging off a hanger or swimming on you. It just sits.
The Suit Factor: For me, I dont often rate guys...i dont know why, i just dont. Not until a girlfriend asks me for my opinion on a guy that she has spotted. And usually in response, I would say "he's okay"..."hehehe, he is cute"..."i like his smile"...im more descriptive than numerical when it comes to rating.
When my friend asks about a guy in a fitted suit, now this is the grunt of the conversation, he generally will get a better rating than he would in ill-fitting casual gear, or even if he was in fitting casual gear! If you are an average guy with a suit that fits, let me insist that you take up all the opportunities you can get and wear it! I really do implore you to do so. You dont understand what sort of impact that it has on women!
A guy in a fitted suit will generally get an "OMG he is cute" versus any other time he would have been a "yeah...he's alright..." Thats based on a general consensus with my fellow female friends...remember this isnt gospel...but most women would agree that a guy is mega-watt-ed HOT if he is groomed and wearing a fitting suit...tailored suits is preferred by this chickie...but, hey i wont know from a glance at a distance. Okay, from the stare not just a glance! but still at a distance.
For all the guys reading this, i'll put this into a more tangible, logical form so that you can get your mind to understand the importance of wearing a fitting suit! On a scale between 1 to 10, 1 for bad, 5 for average, 10 for OMFG HOT! If i have to give a rating, i never give more than an 8. Thats just me, im pretty harsh...and i tend to give full marks for the full package: so its not just looks, it includes personality too!
Now, often when i say a guy is "okay" that equates to about a 5...so pop a fitting suit on a guy that normally gets a 5, and he will be bumped up to an 8...for me, the deviant is a +3. For guys who rate below average, say numerically he was a 3, pop him in a fitting suit and he will be a 6. Now, that is a fair jump from below average to above average. But, do you see what the magic of a really good fitting suit can do for you?
Its not always a +3, thats just for example sake...to give you an idea. But hey, just get it into your minds that you could potentially be "dateable" instead of "forgettable". All it takes is a good fitting suit. If you still dont believe me, do what a friend of ours did. Go to a store and try on two separate suits. One more expensive than the other, and you will find that the more expensive suit tends to be more fitted, and i think that is based on the pattern it was cut from. Basically, invest in a suit...it is costly, i dont disagree with you there, but you should look at it as an investment! The more expensive suit, you will find sinches in the waist where it should, the arm length tends to sit just below the wrist, the suit just sits perfectly aligned with your shoulders...
With every good suit, it helps if you have polished shoes to match. And i dont mean that if you are wearing a pin striped suit, to wear pin striped shoes...i dont think they even exist...hehehe... What i mean is if you are wearing an expensive suit, dont go and wear cheap scuffed shoes. Wear a pair of shoes that are appropriate. It will also help if you are groomed...clean hair tends to lend a hand in the "attractive" department.
Dont get me wrong, im not bagging guys out...im really just trying to offer some insight and mostly my opinion. This goes both ways...
Women should also wear fitted suits. It could make the difference between having a waist or looking like a tree trunk. I have also been told by guys that one of the "sexy" looks for them, is a woman in a good suit jacket with matching pencil skirt and heels. And i must admit, a guy stopped for me at work today - to pave a way for me to walk past. It could have been a coincidence, but hey, i'll just use it to back up my argument!
What am i wearing? I'm wearing the tweed suit jacket that i bought for my Graduation...with a black pencil skirt and black stilettos. I may not look like da bomb! but i can safely say, cos the tweed suit jacket sits perfectly, combined with my faithful black pencil skirt, i look much better than i usually do. I probably got bumped from "pretty plain" to "hey, she's pretty cute..."
Fitted suits sit well, it seems to fit like a glove. Its not tight, like you are wrapped by glad wrap. Its not loose either, like its hanging off a hanger or swimming on you. It just sits.
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
Secret seductions...
For a very long time now ive been feeling cold. Its been a good 12 months where any sense of desire was, well non existent. I attributed that lack of feeling to the fact that i thought zero attractive men existed anymore. I use to go out trying to spot a piece of hunk, but failed to do so. My friends and i made a game out of it, "Spot the Cute Guy!" But to no avail, we failed so dismally that i pretty much gave up.
Im not looking for a handsome bf, im not even looking for a bf...all i wanted was to spot a good looking guy for a simple perve, and there was none. So...thats why i thought, "i understand why my sensual sensation has basically dissipated..."
I told a friend a while ago, that i no longer felt desire and she said that it was sad...but what could i do?
The feelings of seduction, sensuality, desire...they complicate matters...so for longer than a year, ive been level-headed about everything...but i think my brain needs a break! I also miss those sensations. The tingling all over...its also fun to be wrapped up in ecstasy due to those feelings.
Look, im being frank...i desired nothing...and i didnt feel like i was desired.
I think im at a turning point, especially after my long weekend trips out in the serene environment. I've gotten to know some people better...and all this time being so senseless, i think attributes to a heightened sort of alertness in appreciating people and their most desirable features. Which miraculously brought back my sense of desire...and some secret seductions.
I have a friend, who is an utter gentleman...and im in love with that aspect of him. I have another friend, who gives the best hugs...another friend who always A.L.W.A.Y.S smells so yumdiddlyscrumptious...now if only i could marry these parts of these guys together and ill have my piece of hunk to feel sensual in particular about!
But for the mean time...its nice to feel sexy and womanly again...i was a bit asexual for a moment there...
Im not looking for a handsome bf, im not even looking for a bf...all i wanted was to spot a good looking guy for a simple perve, and there was none. So...thats why i thought, "i understand why my sensual sensation has basically dissipated..."
I told a friend a while ago, that i no longer felt desire and she said that it was sad...but what could i do?
The feelings of seduction, sensuality, desire...they complicate matters...so for longer than a year, ive been level-headed about everything...but i think my brain needs a break! I also miss those sensations. The tingling all over...its also fun to be wrapped up in ecstasy due to those feelings.
Look, im being frank...i desired nothing...and i didnt feel like i was desired.
I think im at a turning point, especially after my long weekend trips out in the serene environment. I've gotten to know some people better...and all this time being so senseless, i think attributes to a heightened sort of alertness in appreciating people and their most desirable features. Which miraculously brought back my sense of desire...and some secret seductions.
I have a friend, who is an utter gentleman...and im in love with that aspect of him. I have another friend, who gives the best hugs...another friend who always A.L.W.A.Y.S smells so yumdiddlyscrumptious...now if only i could marry these parts of these guys together and ill have my piece of hunk to feel sensual in particular about!
But for the mean time...its nice to feel sexy and womanly again...i was a bit asexual for a moment there...
Monday, May 03, 2004
OMGosh!
It was absolutely smashing...the plates that is! hehehe
I was soo stressed when we were on our way to my Graduation...but after i got there, things sorta panned out...spent a quick $500 on fotos, plaques, more fotos, and framing, and a bear, etc.
I was also very stressed while i was being driven to Mykonos for my party (I thought i was gonna be heaps late)! I have pictures, as do everyone armed with a digital camera...and wouldnt uno it? my comp crashed and i need to reformat it before i can upload my piccies! *bummer*
Everyone who came to my party, a big THANK U! *huggles* Uno, it beats my 21st birthday party...and i mean who wouldnt be stoked when they get a ticket to the JT concert?! *phwoah* hehehe
=P
I got heaps of pretty jewellery...pretty silver...im surprised, how did uno i prefer silver to gold?
I got this funky thermometer, sorta cross between lava lamp and glass ornament. It comes complete with pretty bubbles. I also received some foto frames, which is warranted, cos of my Grad fotos.
For those who didnt go, i was dancing on a chair and my friend gave me $20. ahahaha...then a friend asked me to dance on the table, but i said he had to pay me $100. He said i had to dance first, i said he had to pay first...it didnt eventuate. *LoL* I think he was trying to take me for a ride...just cos i was handed a strawberry daiquari...and for those who dont know, thats like the first drink i have ever had...but i swear, she said there was no alcohol in it!!! but that shot of it was toxic! =P *bleh* *coughcough*
There was a belly dancer and indeedy, my friends pushed me towards the circle and she was trying to teach me how to bellydance, i think i was just being an idiot swivelling my hips, and sadly there is a video of it and plenty of fotos! *i hang my head in shame* I specifically said no video cameras, and what does E do? He brings a video camera, a digital camera and a pink Hawaiian lei to "lay" me! What i ask him to bring, he doesnt! What i ask him not to bring, he brings it! =P
I missed out on 2 male strippers apparently, im disappointed...i basically left my own party before it was really over! *LoL* But hey, i got to smash plates, i managed to get more food when there was none left, and there was so much alcohol that many were merrily drunk! Someone slapped me on the ass, i think ino who...i got so many hugs from ppl i knew and from ppl who were complete strangers...
One of the highlight of the nite was guessing on whether or not this cute guy was gay or not...just cos he was talking about shoes doesnt mean he is gay, he can be sooo metro!!! *sigh* Oh well, he left before the party really began...pity, i didnt get a chance to dance with him and blame it on the fact that i was intoxicated! ahahaha
;)
I'll post the piccies up somewhere when i get chance...Michael Buble cd transferred from md is on hold...friend is having probs! *double bummer*
I was soo stressed when we were on our way to my Graduation...but after i got there, things sorta panned out...spent a quick $500 on fotos, plaques, more fotos, and framing, and a bear, etc.
I was also very stressed while i was being driven to Mykonos for my party (I thought i was gonna be heaps late)! I have pictures, as do everyone armed with a digital camera...and wouldnt uno it? my comp crashed and i need to reformat it before i can upload my piccies! *bummer*
Everyone who came to my party, a big THANK U! *huggles* Uno, it beats my 21st birthday party...and i mean who wouldnt be stoked when they get a ticket to the JT concert?! *phwoah* hehehe
=P
I got heaps of pretty jewellery...pretty silver...im surprised, how did uno i prefer silver to gold?
I got this funky thermometer, sorta cross between lava lamp and glass ornament. It comes complete with pretty bubbles. I also received some foto frames, which is warranted, cos of my Grad fotos.
For those who didnt go, i was dancing on a chair and my friend gave me $20. ahahaha...then a friend asked me to dance on the table, but i said he had to pay me $100. He said i had to dance first, i said he had to pay first...it didnt eventuate. *LoL* I think he was trying to take me for a ride...just cos i was handed a strawberry daiquari...and for those who dont know, thats like the first drink i have ever had...but i swear, she said there was no alcohol in it!!! but that shot of it was toxic! =P *bleh* *coughcough*
There was a belly dancer and indeedy, my friends pushed me towards the circle and she was trying to teach me how to bellydance, i think i was just being an idiot swivelling my hips, and sadly there is a video of it and plenty of fotos! *i hang my head in shame* I specifically said no video cameras, and what does E do? He brings a video camera, a digital camera and a pink Hawaiian lei to "lay" me! What i ask him to bring, he doesnt! What i ask him not to bring, he brings it! =P
I missed out on 2 male strippers apparently, im disappointed...i basically left my own party before it was really over! *LoL* But hey, i got to smash plates, i managed to get more food when there was none left, and there was so much alcohol that many were merrily drunk! Someone slapped me on the ass, i think ino who...i got so many hugs from ppl i knew and from ppl who were complete strangers...
One of the highlight of the nite was guessing on whether or not this cute guy was gay or not...just cos he was talking about shoes doesnt mean he is gay, he can be sooo metro!!! *sigh* Oh well, he left before the party really began...pity, i didnt get a chance to dance with him and blame it on the fact that i was intoxicated! ahahaha
;)
I'll post the piccies up somewhere when i get chance...Michael Buble cd transferred from md is on hold...friend is having probs! *double bummer*
