I'm taking Thursday & Friday off work.
I need to recuperate.
I need time to get back on the gym routine.
I need time to sleep.
I want to be a vegetable at home for a bit.
Thursday, I think i might go get a massage and pamper myself. Go shopping and spend some dosh.
Friday nite, is reserved for Natalie Cole. State Theatre. I'm getting revved and ready to be dazzled. What do i wear? *LoL*
Saturday, finally i'll go to the Celestial Silks at AGNSW, spend the day with him. Maybe i can convince him to watch Vanity Fair or Twilight Samurai with me.
Sunday, i'll catch up with some high school friends. Going to visit Kat at her new home. Need to get her a house warming present.
Monday, sleep. Sleep some more. Bludge. Finish reading my book. If i have time, paint.
Tuesday, drag my butt back to work. Reporting. *ugh*
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
"petals.c" - Version 1.3
Okay, here comes the geeky programmer in me...making her way out into the world!
I was speaking to my friend David...one of the many in this world...but this David is different. Unlike all the Davids of this world or in my life...this David is straight-forward with me, without being harsh...
This David is considerate...the type of friend you can rely on...the person who will be objective without putting you down.
On the phone with him, during my lunch break, he mentioned to me that i have changed.
I was asking him how sure is he? There was a 3 year period of not speaking to eachother because we all went in opposite directions...
He said, i've changed a lot in comparison to when i was in highschool.
When i finished highschool, I had made a conscious decision to change myself...especially since i was going to uni and that i was going to be around various people from all walks of life.
If we just compare my music taste...that, itself has transformed quite a lot...
I use to love rnb...especially ballads...i went through a phase of liking bubblegum pop...i use to be a raver (not that many would have guessed)...i use to hate anything alternate...but now, my taste in music is so diverse.
its not that i hate those different genres for a particular reason...it just didnt appeal to me before. i enjoy some of it now...depending on the artist or how the music affects me, etc...
Okay, lets just move right along...I am an ultra demanding person! I dont lie about it, i openly admit it. The reason why i openly admit it is because im actively trying to change it.
I think although i may not be the most patient person, i am much better at waiting a little bit longer than usual before i start to worry. For instance, i use to worry if someone who said they were going to pick me up at 8pm and didnt turn up until 8:10pm...i would have freaked out for those 10 minutes.
Now, i give the person 15 minutes extra...what i refer to as "traffic time".
I cant help that im prompt...so im usually on time...and if i happen to be late, i'll call or sms if i cant call the person so they wont have to worry while they wait.
He managed to be late and my patience wore thin! I gave him 20 minute to arrive...although he said he would meet me at 1-ish. For some reason he thinks 1-ish means that he can arrive any time after 1pm...so it was okay that he turned up at 1:45pm.
*i dont think so*
1:45pm is more like "1:30-ish + i got held up in traffic...im sorry".
Initially, he didnt apologise...until i threw a hissy-fit and debated with him the concept of time and being late...he wasnt just reasonably late due to traffic...he chose to leave home late, without calling to give me pre-warning!
See, to me...that is wrong, and no matter how petals Ver 1.3 has evolved...she still isnt going to tolerate such behaviour!
Physically, petals Ver 1.3 has changed a bundle too...
David pointed it out to me as well...initially he was afraid to tell me so...because he was worried that petals Ver 1.0 would have told him off and be offended by his remark. But then he realised that since he was talking to petals Ver 1.3 he relaxed and continued to tell it like it is! hehheee
As petals Ver 1.0, i could not run. I was afraid of running, because my asthma hampered my ability to do so and i was always concerned about asthma attacks. But when petals Ver 1.1 decided to increase her fitness level, i started to pursue the idea of conquering the run!
The years have passed and petals Ver 1.3 likes running (if you remember my declaration of undying love to the treadmill! ahahahaa)
I recall petals Ver 1.0 being an utterly selfish b*itch...and thats the honest truth...hehehe*embarassing to say*hehehe...i was...*hangs head in shame*...
David said that he feels that im a much more considerate person today...every day, to everyone...while previously, like in petals Ver 1.0, i would be nice and considerate, but only to people i chose.
In some ways, he is right...i was considerate only to whom i thought deserved it...the others could go jump as far as i was concerned. I think he just didnt know me too well back then to judge on this matter...because all of my friends would say that i was considerate to others...but then again, they are my friends and i would be considerate to them.
petals Ver 1.3 is just more considerate to others in the greater world and in some ways, she is trying to be considerate to the world. Sometimes, i think i should modify petals Ver 1.3 from being too considerate, because she is almost a door mat at the front of the house.
ahahahhahaa but then again, my temperament is still quite fiesty...im just learning to hold my tongue more. and think. and then speak!
petals Ver 1.3 is also more carefree. petals Ver 1.0 - 1.2 were quite serious versions of me. I mean, im still serious when it matters...and im silly most of the time, but i guess that intense look that i have is still there within all versions of petals...only the right people bring it out! ahahahah...and He has felt the look.
petals Ver 1.3 has missed E. Previously, E and L were the ones designing the next screw...but whilst E has been away, petals Ver 1.3 has been hatching her own...all playful, well, so she thinks! *LoL* Lets see if they amount to anything in the near future...like on the drinks nite when E returns from Europe..."Cherry the Kidney Slayer" is suppose to organise a big drink fest. Now, lets see how screwed everyone will be! muahauahauhauhua
yeah, its all fun and games!
;)
i'll update you in the future of the further developments of petals Ver 1.3 or there may be a Ver 1.4, who knows...
I was speaking to my friend David...one of the many in this world...but this David is different. Unlike all the Davids of this world or in my life...this David is straight-forward with me, without being harsh...
This David is considerate...the type of friend you can rely on...the person who will be objective without putting you down.
On the phone with him, during my lunch break, he mentioned to me that i have changed.
I was asking him how sure is he? There was a 3 year period of not speaking to eachother because we all went in opposite directions...
He said, i've changed a lot in comparison to when i was in highschool.
When i finished highschool, I had made a conscious decision to change myself...especially since i was going to uni and that i was going to be around various people from all walks of life.
If we just compare my music taste...that, itself has transformed quite a lot...
I use to love rnb...especially ballads...i went through a phase of liking bubblegum pop...i use to be a raver (not that many would have guessed)...i use to hate anything alternate...but now, my taste in music is so diverse.
its not that i hate those different genres for a particular reason...it just didnt appeal to me before. i enjoy some of it now...depending on the artist or how the music affects me, etc...
Okay, lets just move right along...I am an ultra demanding person! I dont lie about it, i openly admit it. The reason why i openly admit it is because im actively trying to change it.
I think although i may not be the most patient person, i am much better at waiting a little bit longer than usual before i start to worry. For instance, i use to worry if someone who said they were going to pick me up at 8pm and didnt turn up until 8:10pm...i would have freaked out for those 10 minutes.
Now, i give the person 15 minutes extra...what i refer to as "traffic time".
I cant help that im prompt...so im usually on time...and if i happen to be late, i'll call or sms if i cant call the person so they wont have to worry while they wait.
He managed to be late and my patience wore thin! I gave him 20 minute to arrive...although he said he would meet me at 1-ish. For some reason he thinks 1-ish means that he can arrive any time after 1pm...so it was okay that he turned up at 1:45pm.
*i dont think so*
1:45pm is more like "1:30-ish + i got held up in traffic...im sorry".
Initially, he didnt apologise...until i threw a hissy-fit and debated with him the concept of time and being late...he wasnt just reasonably late due to traffic...he chose to leave home late, without calling to give me pre-warning!
See, to me...that is wrong, and no matter how petals Ver 1.3 has evolved...she still isnt going to tolerate such behaviour!
Physically, petals Ver 1.3 has changed a bundle too...
David pointed it out to me as well...initially he was afraid to tell me so...because he was worried that petals Ver 1.0 would have told him off and be offended by his remark. But then he realised that since he was talking to petals Ver 1.3 he relaxed and continued to tell it like it is! hehheee
As petals Ver 1.0, i could not run. I was afraid of running, because my asthma hampered my ability to do so and i was always concerned about asthma attacks. But when petals Ver 1.1 decided to increase her fitness level, i started to pursue the idea of conquering the run!
The years have passed and petals Ver 1.3 likes running (if you remember my declaration of undying love to the treadmill! ahahahaa)
I recall petals Ver 1.0 being an utterly selfish b*itch...and thats the honest truth...hehehe*embarassing to say*hehehe...i was...*hangs head in shame*...
David said that he feels that im a much more considerate person today...every day, to everyone...while previously, like in petals Ver 1.0, i would be nice and considerate, but only to people i chose.
In some ways, he is right...i was considerate only to whom i thought deserved it...the others could go jump as far as i was concerned. I think he just didnt know me too well back then to judge on this matter...because all of my friends would say that i was considerate to others...but then again, they are my friends and i would be considerate to them.
petals Ver 1.3 is just more considerate to others in the greater world and in some ways, she is trying to be considerate to the world. Sometimes, i think i should modify petals Ver 1.3 from being too considerate, because she is almost a door mat at the front of the house.
ahahahhahaa but then again, my temperament is still quite fiesty...im just learning to hold my tongue more. and think. and then speak!
petals Ver 1.3 is also more carefree. petals Ver 1.0 - 1.2 were quite serious versions of me. I mean, im still serious when it matters...and im silly most of the time, but i guess that intense look that i have is still there within all versions of petals...only the right people bring it out! ahahahah...and He has felt the look.
petals Ver 1.3 has missed E. Previously, E and L were the ones designing the next screw...but whilst E has been away, petals Ver 1.3 has been hatching her own...all playful, well, so she thinks! *LoL* Lets see if they amount to anything in the near future...like on the drinks nite when E returns from Europe..."Cherry the Kidney Slayer" is suppose to organise a big drink fest. Now, lets see how screwed everyone will be! muahauahauhauhua
yeah, its all fun and games!
;)
i'll update you in the future of the further developments of petals Ver 1.3 or there may be a Ver 1.4, who knows...
Monday, September 27, 2004
petals gone M.I.A.
Where did i go?
What did i do?
What had happened to you?
Where did my daily dose of something to laugh at go?
If you thought any of these questions sometime last week, wondering when the next post would be after "Mr Charming"...then my apologies for going Missing In Action for the last 3 working days.
I was...how can i diplomatically say this without conveying or painting any pictures?
Hmm...lets just say i was violently ill for over 60 hours...starting from late Wednesday nite and finally subsiding on Saturday morning. I started with a very high fever that lingered through the Thursday and Friday, finally disappearing on Saturday. There were other things in between...but thats about it.
It was an episode reminiscent of my food poisoning this time last year...i hope it stops here and now...because i really dont want an annual thing occuring!
Due to the time i had on my hands, from taking sick days off work...i obviously had the luxury to think and contemplate...
Its ironic, the first time i take off 2 days and it was spent with my worrying about when i was going to be admitted in to the hospital. Then, i thought about going to the hospital and it being my first vacation off work! And i actually got excited!
I recalled the time when i was really young, what i loved about Spring was all the little red roses from Mum's rose bush that would pop out and cover our white gate...all along the front of it. It was very pretty. But since were going through a drought, there very few roses this Spring. Little girls who went to school would pick them, and Mum didnt mind that, because she knew they appreciated it.
When my older brother just started kindy, he use to pick flowers from other people's gardens on the way home from school. I hope the home owners didnt mind, since it was for Mum. He use to come home with a rose or a carnation, actually...any flower he thought was pretty...and he would give it to her. This was when we still lived in Strathfield and Mum didnt have the garden she has now.
I wish i felt fulfilled with something simple like a garden.
I found a pair of Alannah Hill earrings i bought in Melbourne at a Sale early this year. Some beads were missing so they were mega cheap and i thought i could fix them up. I have the tigertail and the crimps, so it was really a non-issue.
I whipped them out to re-do...and i just thought about how i started on this escapade of making earrings and then i stopped...maybe i should start up again? But, then what do i do about my painting...and then all those spools of cotton to do the tatting...and what about all those fabric paints i bought to do some funky singlets?!
I was talking to my ex. He said he wished he had a talent, as guys with talents get the girls. I said "go get one". He looked at me like, "are u an idiot?" and said "you cant just get a talent, ur usually born with it!" Sorry, but i think u could pick up something and make it a "talent".
Like playing an instrument...you could always put down as part of ur hobby as playing the guitar...even if it started with lessons! and i dont think u would have to be brilliant at it and making money from it, to be able to say that its one of your talents. but if u can play a couple of songs really well...thats impressive enough...which is something u can learn...and is something that happens with practice...
Btw, i had a geeky post ready for last Wednesday, but i left work early and didnt end up completing it...so, i guess i will save that draft for the next time it pops into my head again!
What did i do?
What had happened to you?
Where did my daily dose of something to laugh at go?
If you thought any of these questions sometime last week, wondering when the next post would be after "Mr Charming"...then my apologies for going Missing In Action for the last 3 working days.
I was...how can i diplomatically say this without conveying or painting any pictures?
Hmm...lets just say i was violently ill for over 60 hours...starting from late Wednesday nite and finally subsiding on Saturday morning. I started with a very high fever that lingered through the Thursday and Friday, finally disappearing on Saturday. There were other things in between...but thats about it.
It was an episode reminiscent of my food poisoning this time last year...i hope it stops here and now...because i really dont want an annual thing occuring!
Due to the time i had on my hands, from taking sick days off work...i obviously had the luxury to think and contemplate...
Its ironic, the first time i take off 2 days and it was spent with my worrying about when i was going to be admitted in to the hospital. Then, i thought about going to the hospital and it being my first vacation off work! And i actually got excited!
I recalled the time when i was really young, what i loved about Spring was all the little red roses from Mum's rose bush that would pop out and cover our white gate...all along the front of it. It was very pretty. But since were going through a drought, there very few roses this Spring. Little girls who went to school would pick them, and Mum didnt mind that, because she knew they appreciated it.
When my older brother just started kindy, he use to pick flowers from other people's gardens on the way home from school. I hope the home owners didnt mind, since it was for Mum. He use to come home with a rose or a carnation, actually...any flower he thought was pretty...and he would give it to her. This was when we still lived in Strathfield and Mum didnt have the garden she has now.
I wish i felt fulfilled with something simple like a garden.
I found a pair of Alannah Hill earrings i bought in Melbourne at a Sale early this year. Some beads were missing so they were mega cheap and i thought i could fix them up. I have the tigertail and the crimps, so it was really a non-issue.
I whipped them out to re-do...and i just thought about how i started on this escapade of making earrings and then i stopped...maybe i should start up again? But, then what do i do about my painting...and then all those spools of cotton to do the tatting...and what about all those fabric paints i bought to do some funky singlets?!
I was talking to my ex. He said he wished he had a talent, as guys with talents get the girls. I said "go get one". He looked at me like, "are u an idiot?" and said "you cant just get a talent, ur usually born with it!" Sorry, but i think u could pick up something and make it a "talent".
Like playing an instrument...you could always put down as part of ur hobby as playing the guitar...even if it started with lessons! and i dont think u would have to be brilliant at it and making money from it, to be able to say that its one of your talents. but if u can play a couple of songs really well...thats impressive enough...which is something u can learn...and is something that happens with practice...
Btw, i had a geeky post ready for last Wednesday, but i left work early and didnt end up completing it...so, i guess i will save that draft for the next time it pops into my head again!
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
Mr Charming...
I'm worried...im surrounded by charming guys...
I went to get my lunch and i didn't see Cheeky Salad Guy...Until my name was called out and i went to pay for it...
He was sitting on the side talking to a girl...either he was interviewing her for a job...or he was being interviewed by her...for i dont know what...but it looked like an interview...
As i left the store...he beemed his glorious smile and gave me a wink!
*my knees went weak*
What is wrong with me??? Im consistantly being suckered with the charms of one guy or another...
He explained to me last nite, why he likes to call me right before i fall asleep...
(1) So he can say "good nite" to me...&
(2) My voice will be the last thing he hears before he goes to sleep...
*sigh*
I went to get my lunch and i didn't see Cheeky Salad Guy...Until my name was called out and i went to pay for it...
He was sitting on the side talking to a girl...either he was interviewing her for a job...or he was being interviewed by her...for i dont know what...but it looked like an interview...
As i left the store...he beemed his glorious smile and gave me a wink!
*my knees went weak*
What is wrong with me??? Im consistantly being suckered with the charms of one guy or another...
He explained to me last nite, why he likes to call me right before i fall asleep...
(1) So he can say "good nite" to me...&
(2) My voice will be the last thing he hears before he goes to sleep...
*sigh*
Less Talk, More Action...
I think too much...
I talk awfully too much...
What i need to do more of, is to just do.
I rarely take much action, because after talking to myself, or my logical train of thought...they convince me otherwise...i procrastinate and sit quietly patting myself on the back for avoiding conflict or the possibility of getting hurt.
Vulnerability is a sign of weakness, but there is a catch!
If you do not take the chance and make urself vulnerable, then the chance to be happy can slip right by.
I seem well collected...i seem confident...but i fear within my guilded cage that i superimposed on myself.
I dont like vulnerability being part of my vocabulary...i much rather the words: sane, together, calm, secure...
Security...thats the key!
But how do u achieve that sense of security? By going out there and overcoming ur fears!
And when i try to overcome my fears, i become the most neurotic insane person that keeps falling apart...grr...i keep falling off the horse...how painful!
But i will try again...and this time around, exposing my vulnerability...i hope that it wont be taken for granted!
I talk awfully too much...
What i need to do more of, is to just do.
I rarely take much action, because after talking to myself, or my logical train of thought...they convince me otherwise...i procrastinate and sit quietly patting myself on the back for avoiding conflict or the possibility of getting hurt.
Vulnerability is a sign of weakness, but there is a catch!
If you do not take the chance and make urself vulnerable, then the chance to be happy can slip right by.
I seem well collected...i seem confident...but i fear within my guilded cage that i superimposed on myself.
I dont like vulnerability being part of my vocabulary...i much rather the words: sane, together, calm, secure...
Security...thats the key!
But how do u achieve that sense of security? By going out there and overcoming ur fears!
And when i try to overcome my fears, i become the most neurotic insane person that keeps falling apart...grr...i keep falling off the horse...how painful!
But i will try again...and this time around, exposing my vulnerability...i hope that it wont be taken for granted!
Monday, September 20, 2004
Progressive means...
Friday: I farewelled my friend who was departing on Sunday to jet off to Japan. Met him at Bungalow 8 and was introduced to some of the most gorgeous, successful women i have ever encountered!
Initially, i was utterly jealous that there were women of this calibre out there...but then, ironically, i didnt feel so bad about myself later...not being that pretty or as high achievers as those girls were...Riss, Vicki and i were just flabbergasted! It was like *phwoar* and that was all that escaped our mouths...
And its not that they were just beautiful and successful...they were friendly too! One of the girls...the prettiest in my opinion...she runs her own bridal salon in Annandale and her dresses are worn on Home & Away...and she is my age! *like wow!*
Saturday: The wedding ceremony at the Church was short and sweet...i sat there listening to the Reverand's sermon and when he was speaking to the bride and groom about the sanctity of marriage...i sat there considering changing religions...
I observed how the Christian men treated their women...and to me, it was really beautiful to see that there were men capable of treating their women so...
I also noticed the number of average looking women partnered with really attractive men, and yet those men adored their partners...that was another thing that spurned the thought of a change in religion! *RofL*
I sat there pondering about the Church, in particular this one...my workmates who were friends since uni days, were very happy there...and they found their respective partners from Church.
I told Riss that maybe i should change religions...although, God may not favour my hidden intentions! *RofL*
And then i thought about the fact that i wasnt too keen for marriage...so changing religions is a silly notion, especially, if its only to meet guys! ahhahaahhaha
The highlight of the ceremony, was when the Reverand (a Chinese man) was trying to pronounce "oxymoron"...but when he said it, he kept repeating "Aussie-moron"...all the people in the congregation were laughing...
Sunday: I watched the new Australian movie that was chosen to be shown at the Cannes Film Fest - Somersault. Its pace is like that of Lost in Translation...but it has a more hard-hitting punch to it. Well, thats what i felt...
I was inclined to watch Love me if you dare, because i really wanted to watch a French flick...i just felt like it. But my friend was adamant in watching Somersault...and now, im greatful that we did.
I must be prudish or something, or it may be my naiveity...but the things that were being shown in the movie...it really stunned me.
Yes, im the one who watched Irreversible (shock factor was quite high), but Somersault really made me squirm...i think its more due to the fact that the leading character, Heidi, played by Abbie Cornish, effectively portrays a 16 y/o girl who is confused...the things she does for some affection...her fears on being lonely...
I dont drink alcohol...i never drank as a teen or had been completely trashed from it, or from drugs...so, i dont quite know how it feels to be in that state. I cant empathise with the main character...i think she was acting awfully foolish to be honest...
What makes me squirm is the fact that she is very young...and there are many young girls out there experimenting...and probably experimenting with as much alcohol, drugs and with sex...like the main character.
It was suppose to be a "real" portrayal...but since my life as a teen was quite subdued and innocent...i can only assume and be afraid that one day my neices will have to make some choices in their teen years...hopefully, they dont even consider making some of the choices that Heidi made.
Nonetheless, the complete ambience of the movie...the haunting soundtrack...made this a movie that will always linger in the back of my mind...partly, due to the thought provoking storyline which has left me worried about the young girls of today...but also because it was just beautiful to watch.
Initially, i was utterly jealous that there were women of this calibre out there...but then, ironically, i didnt feel so bad about myself later...not being that pretty or as high achievers as those girls were...Riss, Vicki and i were just flabbergasted! It was like *phwoar* and that was all that escaped our mouths...
And its not that they were just beautiful and successful...they were friendly too! One of the girls...the prettiest in my opinion...she runs her own bridal salon in Annandale and her dresses are worn on Home & Away...and she is my age! *like wow!*
Saturday: The wedding ceremony at the Church was short and sweet...i sat there listening to the Reverand's sermon and when he was speaking to the bride and groom about the sanctity of marriage...i sat there considering changing religions...
I observed how the Christian men treated their women...and to me, it was really beautiful to see that there were men capable of treating their women so...
I also noticed the number of average looking women partnered with really attractive men, and yet those men adored their partners...that was another thing that spurned the thought of a change in religion! *RofL*
I sat there pondering about the Church, in particular this one...my workmates who were friends since uni days, were very happy there...and they found their respective partners from Church.
I told Riss that maybe i should change religions...although, God may not favour my hidden intentions! *RofL*
And then i thought about the fact that i wasnt too keen for marriage...so changing religions is a silly notion, especially, if its only to meet guys! ahhahaahhaha
The highlight of the ceremony, was when the Reverand (a Chinese man) was trying to pronounce "oxymoron"...but when he said it, he kept repeating "Aussie-moron"...all the people in the congregation were laughing...
Sunday: I watched the new Australian movie that was chosen to be shown at the Cannes Film Fest - Somersault. Its pace is like that of Lost in Translation...but it has a more hard-hitting punch to it. Well, thats what i felt...
I was inclined to watch Love me if you dare, because i really wanted to watch a French flick...i just felt like it. But my friend was adamant in watching Somersault...and now, im greatful that we did.
I must be prudish or something, or it may be my naiveity...but the things that were being shown in the movie...it really stunned me.
Yes, im the one who watched Irreversible (shock factor was quite high), but Somersault really made me squirm...i think its more due to the fact that the leading character, Heidi, played by Abbie Cornish, effectively portrays a 16 y/o girl who is confused...the things she does for some affection...her fears on being lonely...
I dont drink alcohol...i never drank as a teen or had been completely trashed from it, or from drugs...so, i dont quite know how it feels to be in that state. I cant empathise with the main character...i think she was acting awfully foolish to be honest...
What makes me squirm is the fact that she is very young...and there are many young girls out there experimenting...and probably experimenting with as much alcohol, drugs and with sex...like the main character.
It was suppose to be a "real" portrayal...but since my life as a teen was quite subdued and innocent...i can only assume and be afraid that one day my neices will have to make some choices in their teen years...hopefully, they dont even consider making some of the choices that Heidi made.
Nonetheless, the complete ambience of the movie...the haunting soundtrack...made this a movie that will always linger in the back of my mind...partly, due to the thought provoking storyline which has left me worried about the young girls of today...but also because it was just beautiful to watch.
Friday, September 17, 2004
2004 KOREAN FILM FESTIVAL
The one movie i really want to watch and i wont be able to watch it!
-_-"
I've been waiting for a movie to come out, one that would really highten my senses and basically scare me so much that i wont be able to sleep at nite. I have rarely come across a movie which has been capable of doing this to me.
I think Memories of Murder has the potential to screw with my mind. But it will only be shown in Canberra & Melbourne...what a rort! Although, if my neice's birthday wasnt on the day it was being shown in Canberra...i definitely would be going to Canberra for a day trip...even if Canberra is a boring place.
But i will try my best to go and watch My Tutor Friend, hehehe...it sounds like a movie i would sit and chuckle all the way through...even though i dont understand a single word of Korean...haha...i should bring my friend along, so she could translate it to me...and i would be able to get some of the punchlines!
I have a busy weekend ahead of me, but i like being busy...i like moving fluidly through the day or more so through the weekend doing things i enjoy, spending the time with people i care about...
Funny how the weekend starts on Friday straight after work and it doesnt end until late Sunday nite...im obviously trying to maximise my time!!! Which usually means im going to burn out in about a month...
=X
My whole family is currently sick...and they are coughing up their lungs at home. So the more time i spend away from home, the better it is for my health at the moment...i spent a month being sick before...i cant be well for only one month and then going back to being sick again for another month! *ugh*
Last nite, i finally did the back arch thingo during my body balance class...i felt really proud that i was able to do it and stay there for over 10 seconds! *LoL* From the way i talk about it, you'd think i was going to get a trophy or something! But the trick is to keep the legs really close to your bottom and to plant ur hands in a supportive stance, before you actually push away from the ground towards the arch...hahaha...i dont think i even tried to do that when i was a kid...which makes last nite feel even more special!
Next thing u will find me doing is gushing over the fact that i conquered the cartwheels or something...hahahaha...
-_-"
I've been waiting for a movie to come out, one that would really highten my senses and basically scare me so much that i wont be able to sleep at nite. I have rarely come across a movie which has been capable of doing this to me.
I think Memories of Murder has the potential to screw with my mind. But it will only be shown in Canberra & Melbourne...what a rort! Although, if my neice's birthday wasnt on the day it was being shown in Canberra...i definitely would be going to Canberra for a day trip...even if Canberra is a boring place.
But i will try my best to go and watch My Tutor Friend, hehehe...it sounds like a movie i would sit and chuckle all the way through...even though i dont understand a single word of Korean...haha...i should bring my friend along, so she could translate it to me...and i would be able to get some of the punchlines!
I have a busy weekend ahead of me, but i like being busy...i like moving fluidly through the day or more so through the weekend doing things i enjoy, spending the time with people i care about...
Funny how the weekend starts on Friday straight after work and it doesnt end until late Sunday nite...im obviously trying to maximise my time!!! Which usually means im going to burn out in about a month...
=X
My whole family is currently sick...and they are coughing up their lungs at home. So the more time i spend away from home, the better it is for my health at the moment...i spent a month being sick before...i cant be well for only one month and then going back to being sick again for another month! *ugh*
Last nite, i finally did the back arch thingo during my body balance class...i felt really proud that i was able to do it and stay there for over 10 seconds! *LoL* From the way i talk about it, you'd think i was going to get a trophy or something! But the trick is to keep the legs really close to your bottom and to plant ur hands in a supportive stance, before you actually push away from the ground towards the arch...hahaha...i dont think i even tried to do that when i was a kid...which makes last nite feel even more special!
Next thing u will find me doing is gushing over the fact that i conquered the cartwheels or something...hahahaha...
Thursday, September 16, 2004
Music to his ears...
I gave him a lift to his car and as we sat and chatted a bit before parting...there was a glimpse of his family and the way they were. He mentioned his principle to me and asked me for my opinion on his actions or lack there of...
I dont often hesitate in speaking my mind, but i was concerned about how he would take what i was about to say to him...because for the first time, he was vulnerable.
Ironically, i had been feeling quite vulnerable around him. So, i proactively tuned out and just ebbed and flowed with the direction the river was going...
I decided to just tell him what i thought. He asked and i really couldnt be silent on the matter, or divert his question to someone to the left or the right of me. There was no one but me and he just looked into my eyes, waiting for some solace or resolve on the issue.
So, i told him of what i believed to be the intentions of his actions and of his nature...that they were honorable.
His response to what i acknowledged was like a symphony playing a sweet resonating melody just for him...i think i overwhelmed him and paid a huge compliment without actually intending to.
I think those type of compliments are better for me. I try not to question what it is and just accept it. But if a compliment was intentional...i tend to squirm and ask myself "why me?"...ahahahha...
M informed me that my train of thought/logic often goes off on a tangent...i agree, i have gone way off on a tangent...almost perpendicular...veering out to space and at this speed, i may crash and burn on the Sun!
I dont often hesitate in speaking my mind, but i was concerned about how he would take what i was about to say to him...because for the first time, he was vulnerable.
Ironically, i had been feeling quite vulnerable around him. So, i proactively tuned out and just ebbed and flowed with the direction the river was going...
I decided to just tell him what i thought. He asked and i really couldnt be silent on the matter, or divert his question to someone to the left or the right of me. There was no one but me and he just looked into my eyes, waiting for some solace or resolve on the issue.
So, i told him of what i believed to be the intentions of his actions and of his nature...that they were honorable.
His response to what i acknowledged was like a symphony playing a sweet resonating melody just for him...i think i overwhelmed him and paid a huge compliment without actually intending to.
I think those type of compliments are better for me. I try not to question what it is and just accept it. But if a compliment was intentional...i tend to squirm and ask myself "why me?"...ahahahha...
M informed me that my train of thought/logic often goes off on a tangent...i agree, i have gone way off on a tangent...almost perpendicular...veering out to space and at this speed, i may crash and burn on the Sun!
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Lose my breath?
I was sitting in my car, stuck in traffic on the M4 listening to Destiny's Child new song - Lose my breath. This was last nite, by the way...
I dont know if it was the beat of the music...it couldnt have been the lyrics, as it is quite difficult to hear clearly when the girls sing it...but as i was just sitting there, stuck behind another car, i was suddenly hit with a reality.
I like being single.
I dont want my single life to be changed in any way, not right now.
I then pondered...does he need to know how i feel? Its not like he is going to be my boyfriend next week, but say in a months time...if he decides that he wants to be more than what it is right now...do i break it to him then? that id rather not be in a "committed" relationship any time in the near future???
Would he think that i had wasted his time, if i chose to tell him later and not now? Now, when i know that this is how i feel?
I would want to know right away...so no further emotions will develop...and i wont get hurt as badly.
But if i tell him now, wouldnt it freak the guy too? Its almost like automatic disqualification...think Ian Thorpe in the 400m freestyle(?) qualifier for the Olympics. Me, totally jumping the gun, before knowing his intentions.
*Good one petals*
=(
btw...i really like the songs: Natasha Bedingfield - "These Words" and The Killers - "Somebody Told Me" and Switchfoot - "Meant to Live"...and obviously i quite like Destiny's Child new song - "Lose My Breath".
I dont know if it was the beat of the music...it couldnt have been the lyrics, as it is quite difficult to hear clearly when the girls sing it...but as i was just sitting there, stuck behind another car, i was suddenly hit with a reality.
I like being single.
I dont want my single life to be changed in any way, not right now.
I then pondered...does he need to know how i feel? Its not like he is going to be my boyfriend next week, but say in a months time...if he decides that he wants to be more than what it is right now...do i break it to him then? that id rather not be in a "committed" relationship any time in the near future???
Would he think that i had wasted his time, if i chose to tell him later and not now? Now, when i know that this is how i feel?
I would want to know right away...so no further emotions will develop...and i wont get hurt as badly.
But if i tell him now, wouldnt it freak the guy too? Its almost like automatic disqualification...think Ian Thorpe in the 400m freestyle(?) qualifier for the Olympics. Me, totally jumping the gun, before knowing his intentions.
*Good one petals*
=(
btw...i really like the songs: Natasha Bedingfield - "These Words" and The Killers - "Somebody Told Me" and Switchfoot - "Meant to Live"...and obviously i quite like Destiny's Child new song - "Lose My Breath".
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
My current state of mind...
I read this post and then i read the comments that followed...
In person, when i speak to my girl friends...i have always believed that i needed to make myself a better person before i met the next person in my life. Which is why i made a break from my ex. Which is why i enjoyed my single life. Which is why i did things on my own. Which is why i perservered in gaining my independence.
I agree that in order to be in a successful relationship, part of the equation is whether or not you're able to contribute to the other person's life...as much as they can contribute to yours. Its not necessarily about finding the "one".
Which is why i believe you need to be your own person before becoming one half of a partnership. If you are iffy about who you are...if you feel your life is boring, or insignificant...basically, if you look at ur life in a more negative way than a positive one...then my question to you is:
How will you make a genuine contribution to the life of someone else?
In the process of "upgrading" myself, i think i have lost touch with just having fun while dating. I am unable to break free from a mould that i have sort of superimposed on myself. So, while i endeavoured to "broaden" my mind and gain various skills and abilities...it was all about me...and by doing that, i ended up in a box.
I can be carefree. If i have no feelings for a person or if i know that there is no threat in being carefree with a particular person. Its like, i flirt with particular friends, like E...cos we both know that nothing will amount from it. Our friendship is secure...we are both wild and crazy in our comments to eachother...well thats the way E is with everyone he knows.
But if there might be a hint that the other person could be interested in me...and there is a threat of my heart getting lost in a puddle of mud...my head will get lost in a puddle of mud! grrr...
And although i may want to make a contribution to that someone else's life...my world is currently in a state of chaos...so all that time being single and "upgrading" myself...it totally *fudged* me up!
I cant think straight!
I get anxious easily.
I want out!!!
I could be making a negative contribution to that someone else's life, and that isnt fair...
I am now masking my own selfishness and fears by sounding as though im being ultra-considerate of the other person's feelings.
*sigh*
Right now...i just want to get back to my old self...the girl that was sure of what she had to offer to the world...even though she didnt mention it, she secretly felt that she had some things to offer...some things to offer to compliment that other person.
In person, when i speak to my girl friends...i have always believed that i needed to make myself a better person before i met the next person in my life. Which is why i made a break from my ex. Which is why i enjoyed my single life. Which is why i did things on my own. Which is why i perservered in gaining my independence.
I agree that in order to be in a successful relationship, part of the equation is whether or not you're able to contribute to the other person's life...as much as they can contribute to yours. Its not necessarily about finding the "one".
Which is why i believe you need to be your own person before becoming one half of a partnership. If you are iffy about who you are...if you feel your life is boring, or insignificant...basically, if you look at ur life in a more negative way than a positive one...then my question to you is:
How will you make a genuine contribution to the life of someone else?
In the process of "upgrading" myself, i think i have lost touch with just having fun while dating. I am unable to break free from a mould that i have sort of superimposed on myself. So, while i endeavoured to "broaden" my mind and gain various skills and abilities...it was all about me...and by doing that, i ended up in a box.
I can be carefree. If i have no feelings for a person or if i know that there is no threat in being carefree with a particular person. Its like, i flirt with particular friends, like E...cos we both know that nothing will amount from it. Our friendship is secure...we are both wild and crazy in our comments to eachother...well thats the way E is with everyone he knows.
But if there might be a hint that the other person could be interested in me...and there is a threat of my heart getting lost in a puddle of mud...my head will get lost in a puddle of mud! grrr...
And although i may want to make a contribution to that someone else's life...my world is currently in a state of chaos...so all that time being single and "upgrading" myself...it totally *fudged* me up!
I cant think straight!
I get anxious easily.
I want out!!!
I could be making a negative contribution to that someone else's life, and that isnt fair...
I am now masking my own selfishness and fears by sounding as though im being ultra-considerate of the other person's feelings.
*sigh*
Right now...i just want to get back to my old self...the girl that was sure of what she had to offer to the world...even though she didnt mention it, she secretly felt that she had some things to offer...some things to offer to compliment that other person.
Monday, September 13, 2004
My weekend extravaganza...
I finished reading "My name is Sei Shonagon" on Friday nite...i was a bit shocked with the ending...
On Saturday nite, i had a quick dinner at Sushi Train...really so that i could have their green tea ice cream! Then i went to Sheraton on the Park to try out the Dessert Buffet (M went and told me about it. i craved for some sugar...so i went!) I really should have tried the Dinner Buffet...im not much of a seafood eater, but the whole lobsters they were serving smelt yum...and looked yum...it must have tasted yum, cos the people around us ate as much of it as they could!
After the Dessert Buffet, i went to the Sydney Observatory for a nite tour...it made me realise that i havent seen any stars for a very long while. Nothing clearly in the sky, maybe one speck or two...so it was great to look through a telescope and look at the Southern Cross with the two Pointers to the right of it...it was good to see other constellations in all their glory, as well.
According to the guide, she said that Sydney is soo lit up by the artificial lights that you would have to travel further than Bathurst to actually see the real stars in the sky! (With the naked eye, that is.) But she also suggested that one nite in Summer, that you throw a blanket or rug and grab your binoculars or telescope and look up to the sky...see the stars and look at the moon and see the craters on it...*sigh*...how romantic...
;)
I cant remember the last time i laid on the ground looking up at the sky, to even look at the clouds up there during the day.
On Sunday, i painted my second picture...i didnt quite get into that "creative zone" and in my opinion...the picture could have been better...but my emotions werent in turmoil, or was i more sullen than passionate? My creative zone occurs when my emotions are boiling...i block out the rest of the world and have this grounded focus...and i paint the way i feel...and you dont always get that feeling!
I guess, its not necessary to paint every week...creativity doesnt happen on-call.
I watched Bourne Supremacy with him on Sunday nite...i enjoyed the movie...and enjoyed his company...i just wished we did something that enabled more dialogue between us...communication is critical, but im just not getting enough of it! This lack of dialogue makes me feel terrible and in the moments of silence, me head starts to convince my heart not to feel too much...if anything, it tries to switch my heart off!
On Saturday nite, i had a quick dinner at Sushi Train...really so that i could have their green tea ice cream! Then i went to Sheraton on the Park to try out the Dessert Buffet (M went and told me about it. i craved for some sugar...so i went!) I really should have tried the Dinner Buffet...im not much of a seafood eater, but the whole lobsters they were serving smelt yum...and looked yum...it must have tasted yum, cos the people around us ate as much of it as they could!
After the Dessert Buffet, i went to the Sydney Observatory for a nite tour...it made me realise that i havent seen any stars for a very long while. Nothing clearly in the sky, maybe one speck or two...so it was great to look through a telescope and look at the Southern Cross with the two Pointers to the right of it...it was good to see other constellations in all their glory, as well.
According to the guide, she said that Sydney is soo lit up by the artificial lights that you would have to travel further than Bathurst to actually see the real stars in the sky! (With the naked eye, that is.) But she also suggested that one nite in Summer, that you throw a blanket or rug and grab your binoculars or telescope and look up to the sky...see the stars and look at the moon and see the craters on it...*sigh*...how romantic...
;)
I cant remember the last time i laid on the ground looking up at the sky, to even look at the clouds up there during the day.
On Sunday, i painted my second picture...i didnt quite get into that "creative zone" and in my opinion...the picture could have been better...but my emotions werent in turmoil, or was i more sullen than passionate? My creative zone occurs when my emotions are boiling...i block out the rest of the world and have this grounded focus...and i paint the way i feel...and you dont always get that feeling!
I guess, its not necessary to paint every week...creativity doesnt happen on-call.
I watched Bourne Supremacy with him on Sunday nite...i enjoyed the movie...and enjoyed his company...i just wished we did something that enabled more dialogue between us...communication is critical, but im just not getting enough of it! This lack of dialogue makes me feel terrible and in the moments of silence, me head starts to convince my heart not to feel too much...if anything, it tries to switch my heart off!
Friday, September 10, 2004
It left me feeling odd...
I tend to just drink a lot of fluids (water/juices/teas) when the weather gets warmer...so i decided to get a Boost Juice Smoothie for my lunch today.
At Boost, there was this asian guy with a non-asian girl. They looked like workmates, but then again they could have been a couple...i dont know.
He got his drink, then she got her drink, and then they walked away...i waited a long while before i got my drink...but when i did, i decided since i had so much time to kill...and cos its a friday, that i would go shop for a top to wear to my friend's wedding.
I thought to myself, for something basic...i'll just go to Myers. I go to Myers and there were 2 asian girls, one in a pink top. I noticed the one in the pink top because she gave me the "you b*tch" type of look.
The "you b*tch" look, is something the girls will understand...its a look that other girls give to you when they are jealous of you in one way or another.
I dont know why she gave me that look, unless it was for my necklace!
=T
I have this one-of-a-kind necklace that i wear, with something simple, & it stands out. Its the necklace that i wore to the markets and the stall owner remembered me because of it...its one of those pieces of jewellery that really catches your attention and i love it...so maybe she was jealous that i have it and she doesnt?!
But i still dont believe that i deserved that look! I dont even know who she is...
=P
So, i act cool and continue shopping...
I then walked to Portmans. I walk around the shop and then i spot the guy and that girl from Boost. Whats awkward is that he made eye contact with me! I was gazing at the clothes on the wall and there he was looking at me...so i walk off to the next store...and as i walk i hear the girl saying "oooh, thats the type of skirt i want..."
After hearing that, im assuming that girl is his gf...i mean, why would you bring ur workmate shopping and talking about clothes like that to him for??? and so, it made me feel even worse!
How gross? *yuck*
I walked into Sportsgirl and a moment later after i browse at the earrings moving on to the handbags, i look up and there he is again! *bugger* ...so, i decided to walk on...*keep on moving*...out of the store...almost walking into those elderly people in the automatic mobiles.
I then went to this shop called Glasson, thinking that it wasnt the type of store that the girl would want to go to. I went in and found a pair of pants that looked good, so i grab my size to try it out in the fitting rooms. After i found the right size and take it off the rack, for the brief moment i look up to walk away from the rack to the fitting rooms, he was there looking at me while the girl was just chatting mindlessly to him.
I quickly dashed to the fitting rooms, and thankfully when i got out, they were both gone!
>_<
What is going one here?!
*bugger bugger bugger*
(note to self, STOP SAYING BUGGER!)
On a happier note, a second date has been set for Sunday nite. Why a Sunday nite? Well, im busy with friend commitments until then, and he is busy with family commitments until then.
=)
Am i smitten? I think im starting to get there...
im so fudgin gay!
At Boost, there was this asian guy with a non-asian girl. They looked like workmates, but then again they could have been a couple...i dont know.
He got his drink, then she got her drink, and then they walked away...i waited a long while before i got my drink...but when i did, i decided since i had so much time to kill...and cos its a friday, that i would go shop for a top to wear to my friend's wedding.
I thought to myself, for something basic...i'll just go to Myers. I go to Myers and there were 2 asian girls, one in a pink top. I noticed the one in the pink top because she gave me the "you b*tch" type of look.
The "you b*tch" look, is something the girls will understand...its a look that other girls give to you when they are jealous of you in one way or another.
I dont know why she gave me that look, unless it was for my necklace!
=T
I have this one-of-a-kind necklace that i wear, with something simple, & it stands out. Its the necklace that i wore to the markets and the stall owner remembered me because of it...its one of those pieces of jewellery that really catches your attention and i love it...so maybe she was jealous that i have it and she doesnt?!
But i still dont believe that i deserved that look! I dont even know who she is...
=P
So, i act cool and continue shopping...
I then walked to Portmans. I walk around the shop and then i spot the guy and that girl from Boost. Whats awkward is that he made eye contact with me! I was gazing at the clothes on the wall and there he was looking at me...so i walk off to the next store...and as i walk i hear the girl saying "oooh, thats the type of skirt i want..."
After hearing that, im assuming that girl is his gf...i mean, why would you bring ur workmate shopping and talking about clothes like that to him for??? and so, it made me feel even worse!
How gross? *yuck*
I walked into Sportsgirl and a moment later after i browse at the earrings moving on to the handbags, i look up and there he is again! *bugger* ...so, i decided to walk on...*keep on moving*...out of the store...almost walking into those elderly people in the automatic mobiles.
I then went to this shop called Glasson, thinking that it wasnt the type of store that the girl would want to go to. I went in and found a pair of pants that looked good, so i grab my size to try it out in the fitting rooms. After i found the right size and take it off the rack, for the brief moment i look up to walk away from the rack to the fitting rooms, he was there looking at me while the girl was just chatting mindlessly to him.
I quickly dashed to the fitting rooms, and thankfully when i got out, they were both gone!
>_<
What is going one here?!
*bugger bugger bugger*
(note to self, STOP SAYING BUGGER!)
On a happier note, a second date has been set for Sunday nite. Why a Sunday nite? Well, im busy with friend commitments until then, and he is busy with family commitments until then.
=)
Am i smitten? I think im starting to get there...
im so fudgin gay!
Did i ever tell you...?
(1) I think everyone knows how much i enjoy jazz...but i figured what i like the most about it other than the soulful voices...in terms of music, i really like the bellowing sound of the trumpet!
In some ways, it reflects a sound that communicates "i want to be loved, can't you feel my pain?"
Well, thats what it sounds like to me...hehehehe...
(2) I saw this little figure rush past the laundry to the kitchen, just before i opened the back screen door to get into the house after work. The figure did an about-face, and as i stepped into the house, she calls out "auntyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" and grabs both my knees to give me a massive hug! *LoL*
I couldnt get out of that hug for a while, i nearly toppled over because she hugged both knees so tightly! But its a beautiful feeling to be loved like so...
When she finally lets go, she drags me into the living room, showing me how she uses the big calculator...then her little sister tries to vie for my attention...she starts to blubber with her baby words...and starts lunging out of her father's arms to get into mine...hahaha...
Its difficult to divide your attention between two children who both want you to pay undivided attention to the one only.
(3) Patience...its everything that i am not. That i am utterly incapable of. But i shall learn...i will keep trying to be...one day i will conquer!
(4) I found my next challenge at the gym...well within my Body Balance class. I will learn how to support my body doing a perfect back arch. I got half way last nite in the class...but i cant support my head and upper body long enough, and i worry that i will collapse and hit my head on the hard hard floor! >_<
(5) The River - Missy Higgins: its a beautiful song...although the story being told is a very sad one (and i do not condone suicide)...the music and the lyrics were written and produced in such an elegant and delicate manner. It was because of this song, that i decided to buy the album. It leaves a mark on my soul and its the type of song that would be perfect for me to put on repeat while i paint. Very poetic and inspiring...hopefully it will help me be more creative!
She ran until her face was numb with cold and
wore a cotton gown that blazed the night untold.
She ran until her feet refused to hold
so heavy a heart for someone merely ten years old.
And when she reached the river her knees began to shiver,
her head with pounding voices from home.
Behind her was a vision, a painful apparition
of a darker world that no-one should know.
Somebody's bed will never be warm again,
the river will keep this friend.
Yeah somebody's bed will never be warm again,
no never again.
She dived beneath the water's icy skin,
hoping the cold would kill the smell of angry gin,
and her eyes grew wider than they'd ever been
just wishing the numbness to cut deeper with its pins.
And as her body lay there she decided to stay there
till darkness came to pull her away.
And beautifully she sank as up river was the bank
where some bodiless troubles would stay.
Somebody's bed will never be warm again,
the river will keep this friend.
Yeah somebody's bed will never be warm again,
no never again.
Somebody's bed will never be warm again,
the river will keep this friend.
Yeah somebody's bed will never be warm again,
no never again.
Written By Missy Higgins & Clif Magness
In some ways, it reflects a sound that communicates "i want to be loved, can't you feel my pain?"
Well, thats what it sounds like to me...hehehehe...
(2) I saw this little figure rush past the laundry to the kitchen, just before i opened the back screen door to get into the house after work. The figure did an about-face, and as i stepped into the house, she calls out "auntyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" and grabs both my knees to give me a massive hug! *LoL*
I couldnt get out of that hug for a while, i nearly toppled over because she hugged both knees so tightly! But its a beautiful feeling to be loved like so...
When she finally lets go, she drags me into the living room, showing me how she uses the big calculator...then her little sister tries to vie for my attention...she starts to blubber with her baby words...and starts lunging out of her father's arms to get into mine...hahaha...
Its difficult to divide your attention between two children who both want you to pay undivided attention to the one only.
(3) Patience...its everything that i am not. That i am utterly incapable of. But i shall learn...i will keep trying to be...one day i will conquer!
(4) I found my next challenge at the gym...well within my Body Balance class. I will learn how to support my body doing a perfect back arch. I got half way last nite in the class...but i cant support my head and upper body long enough, and i worry that i will collapse and hit my head on the hard hard floor! >_<
(5) The River - Missy Higgins: its a beautiful song...although the story being told is a very sad one (and i do not condone suicide)...the music and the lyrics were written and produced in such an elegant and delicate manner. It was because of this song, that i decided to buy the album. It leaves a mark on my soul and its the type of song that would be perfect for me to put on repeat while i paint. Very poetic and inspiring...hopefully it will help me be more creative!
She ran until her face was numb with cold and
wore a cotton gown that blazed the night untold.
She ran until her feet refused to hold
so heavy a heart for someone merely ten years old.
And when she reached the river her knees began to shiver,
her head with pounding voices from home.
Behind her was a vision, a painful apparition
of a darker world that no-one should know.
Somebody's bed will never be warm again,
the river will keep this friend.
Yeah somebody's bed will never be warm again,
no never again.
She dived beneath the water's icy skin,
hoping the cold would kill the smell of angry gin,
and her eyes grew wider than they'd ever been
just wishing the numbness to cut deeper with its pins.
And as her body lay there she decided to stay there
till darkness came to pull her away.
And beautifully she sank as up river was the bank
where some bodiless troubles would stay.
Somebody's bed will never be warm again,
the river will keep this friend.
Yeah somebody's bed will never be warm again,
no never again.
Somebody's bed will never be warm again,
the river will keep this friend.
Yeah somebody's bed will never be warm again,
no never again.
Written By Missy Higgins & Clif Magness
Thursday, September 09, 2004
She said her first word...
My 6 month and 3 days old niece - Aimee...has said her first word! How cute is that??? She said "bah-bah" = "daddy" in chinese!
Okay, maybe its just baby-jibberish...but i think its soo cute! And she is soooo young! I came home last nite and there she was just chatting away. She is so gorgeous...and im not speaking in terms of the way she looks...i think her personality (albeit limited right now) is very warm and friendly...and i think only the best of her, because she loves me!
When i walk through the door and she sees me, she smiles and reaches for me...begging for my attention. Oh, do i feel loved!
Just wait until she turns two and starts rampaging my room...then my tone will be different! ahahahaha
On a side note...my lil brother has been voted School Captain for 2005 at his high school. I think he has made my mother very proud...she was ecstatic when she told me after work! Gushing:
"Guess what???"...
"umm...what?"...
"Your brother made School Captain!"...
"err...didnt we know that this was going to happen?"...
hehehhee...anyways, Congrats to him!
Okay, maybe its just baby-jibberish...but i think its soo cute! And she is soooo young! I came home last nite and there she was just chatting away. She is so gorgeous...and im not speaking in terms of the way she looks...i think her personality (albeit limited right now) is very warm and friendly...and i think only the best of her, because she loves me!
When i walk through the door and she sees me, she smiles and reaches for me...begging for my attention. Oh, do i feel loved!
Just wait until she turns two and starts rampaging my room...then my tone will be different! ahahahaha
On a side note...my lil brother has been voted School Captain for 2005 at his high school. I think he has made my mother very proud...she was ecstatic when she told me after work! Gushing:
"Guess what???"...
"umm...what?"...
"Your brother made School Captain!"...
"err...didnt we know that this was going to happen?"...
hehehhee...anyways, Congrats to him!
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
He speaks Spanish...
Dinner was okay...i enjoyed it, and it seemed as though i made him squirm with my questions...i think he found my questions challenging...well thats what he said later on.
He finds me witty. I take that as a nice compliment. According to him its "quite an attractive feature"...ermm yeah, once again, i take that as a nice compliment! *LoL*
Im so fudgin' gay! I really should stop and just be realistic, and not too harsh on him...i dont mean to ask the questions the way i do, but i just ask it as so. At least for now, he finds it amusing...when i went one step too far (well i thought i took it too far)...i said out loud that i should just bite my tongue and be quiet from that point onwards, but he asked me not to...he liked it, that i didnt have reservations in asking him.
I cant help being frank.
He mentioned that he lived with his sister, and his parents were overseas. So, i asked where? Where exactly overseas...half anticipating him to say Hong Kong or China or Singapore...but after a long pause he said they were in South America, Chile to be exact.
That was all i really wanted to know...
I didnt want to know anything else, about their business or their history...but he told me none the less. I sat and listened while he painstakingly told me (well it seemed painful - although it wasnt). I didnt enquire about anything after that, except to ask what language he chose to speak with his parents?
He speaks Spanish, Cantonese and English. Much like myself, who throws in a bit of English with Teo Chiew and Vietnamese, and substitute Cantonese when i cant think of the word in the other languages. ahhahaha
During dinner, i asked why a Tuesday, he asked me why not?
Fair enough, i left it at that...and he emailed me today, informing me that Tuesday is a good day, because come Wednesday there is only 2 days to go until the weekend comes. I replied to that email, asking if i was only a buffer before the weekend? =P I have yet to receive his response...but i have a feeling i'll get one tomoro, if not a call tonite!
haha...
He finds me witty. I take that as a nice compliment. According to him its "quite an attractive feature"...ermm yeah, once again, i take that as a nice compliment! *LoL*
Im so fudgin' gay! I really should stop and just be realistic, and not too harsh on him...i dont mean to ask the questions the way i do, but i just ask it as so. At least for now, he finds it amusing...when i went one step too far (well i thought i took it too far)...i said out loud that i should just bite my tongue and be quiet from that point onwards, but he asked me not to...he liked it, that i didnt have reservations in asking him.
I cant help being frank.
He mentioned that he lived with his sister, and his parents were overseas. So, i asked where? Where exactly overseas...half anticipating him to say Hong Kong or China or Singapore...but after a long pause he said they were in South America, Chile to be exact.
That was all i really wanted to know...
I didnt want to know anything else, about their business or their history...but he told me none the less. I sat and listened while he painstakingly told me (well it seemed painful - although it wasnt). I didnt enquire about anything after that, except to ask what language he chose to speak with his parents?
He speaks Spanish, Cantonese and English. Much like myself, who throws in a bit of English with Teo Chiew and Vietnamese, and substitute Cantonese when i cant think of the word in the other languages. ahhahaha
During dinner, i asked why a Tuesday, he asked me why not?
Fair enough, i left it at that...and he emailed me today, informing me that Tuesday is a good day, because come Wednesday there is only 2 days to go until the weekend comes. I replied to that email, asking if i was only a buffer before the weekend? =P I have yet to receive his response...but i have a feeling i'll get one tomoro, if not a call tonite!
haha...
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
What happens now? I'm stuffed!
I saw a man driving a big sedan (can't remember the make now) as i was driving home...i chuckled when i looked at the number plate and at the man. This man is big and robust...so when i read the black and white number plate: BRA 10D...i just couldnt help but laugh...cos he looked more like a 26D than a 10D...i know its silly, cos his name is probably BRAD...but anyways...
I finally sat down and painted a picture on Sunday afternoon. Amidst the hail storm and feeling emotional, i painted an abstract picture. It may not look like much to anyone, but it holds significance to me. I would describe it as a painting expressing my various emotions that afternoon, in all its glory and in all its permutations!
I have a secret admirer that i found out from my mother. Its sweet that he thinks of and only does admire from afar. He feels that he isnt enough of a "man" for me...perhaps due to his occupation or his background...whatever the reason, its nice to know that someone thinks im beautiful! Pity that he has very little self confidence...
I visited my ex-workmate (that i'll be going to his wedding in 2 weeks time) at his store...he told me about his bucks nite...well he had a whole day of fun! He went white water rafting with 5 other mates...then he went to have a drinks nite afterwards and one of the guys brought his wife! Like, how wrong is that?!
So, he called me while i was heading towards a restaurant to have dinner for my brother's birthday. Lucky for him (i think) that my lil brother was practicing his driving on his L plates, so i could actually answer my phone...it was difficult to actually be rude to him cos my parents were in the car as well (and the fact that maybe he doesnt really deserve it)...and i find out later that mum (who was beside me), heard most of what he was saying to me (i swear i turned the volume down)...He asked me out, i think...well were having dinner tonite...i guess, i owe it to myself to give it a proper chance? I dont know...i was hoping that Missy Higgin's free gig was on tonite, so that i could email or call back today and say: "Sorry, im actually busy tonite!" When he suggested that we "meet up", he asked whether or not i was free tonite, and i sat there juggling "gym...dinner...gym...dinner...gym...?" Told M that i juggled the decision and was more inclined to say "gym", but she finished that droll with "Dinner".
I must be going crazy or something...or maybe its because everyone is getting married this month, but im thinking about "weddings" more often! I dont know, what the heck for!?!? Allow me to clarify though, i want a "Wedding" not a "Marriage"...that is, i want a party...to wear a beautiful dress...to prance around...to receive a lot of jewellery from family members...im the oldest girl in my family (within all my cousins) so ino they will spoil me! ahahahaha Gosh, im being a brat!
I must stop thinking these thoughts, otherwise one day, i will actually act out my thoughts!
I finally sat down and painted a picture on Sunday afternoon. Amidst the hail storm and feeling emotional, i painted an abstract picture. It may not look like much to anyone, but it holds significance to me. I would describe it as a painting expressing my various emotions that afternoon, in all its glory and in all its permutations!
I have a secret admirer that i found out from my mother. Its sweet that he thinks of and only does admire from afar. He feels that he isnt enough of a "man" for me...perhaps due to his occupation or his background...whatever the reason, its nice to know that someone thinks im beautiful! Pity that he has very little self confidence...
I visited my ex-workmate (that i'll be going to his wedding in 2 weeks time) at his store...he told me about his bucks nite...well he had a whole day of fun! He went white water rafting with 5 other mates...then he went to have a drinks nite afterwards and one of the guys brought his wife! Like, how wrong is that?!
So, he called me while i was heading towards a restaurant to have dinner for my brother's birthday. Lucky for him (i think) that my lil brother was practicing his driving on his L plates, so i could actually answer my phone...it was difficult to actually be rude to him cos my parents were in the car as well (and the fact that maybe he doesnt really deserve it)...and i find out later that mum (who was beside me), heard most of what he was saying to me (i swear i turned the volume down)...He asked me out, i think...well were having dinner tonite...i guess, i owe it to myself to give it a proper chance? I dont know...i was hoping that Missy Higgin's free gig was on tonite, so that i could email or call back today and say: "Sorry, im actually busy tonite!" When he suggested that we "meet up", he asked whether or not i was free tonite, and i sat there juggling "gym...dinner...gym...dinner...gym...?" Told M that i juggled the decision and was more inclined to say "gym", but she finished that droll with "Dinner".
I must be going crazy or something...or maybe its because everyone is getting married this month, but im thinking about "weddings" more often! I dont know, what the heck for!?!? Allow me to clarify though, i want a "Wedding" not a "Marriage"...that is, i want a party...to wear a beautiful dress...to prance around...to receive a lot of jewellery from family members...im the oldest girl in my family (within all my cousins) so ino they will spoil me! ahahahaha Gosh, im being a brat!
I must stop thinking these thoughts, otherwise one day, i will actually act out my thoughts!
Sunday, September 05, 2004
Make the most of your opportunity!
He calls me, and of course im excited! I was waiting for some sort of reaction...why would i bother spending so much time speaking to him in the first place.
He emails me, and i reply...dropping hints left right and centre, that its okay if he wants to ask me out! That i would be inclined to say yes to him at the drop of a hat!
*silence*
Now, how did it go from eager to speak to me...to ignoring me?
I think to myself...since its the 21st Century...maybe i shouldnt be so strict on myself...ill sms him and see if he is interested in going to an exhibition, since he has been hinting about going to do more "cultural" things!
So, i sms and its a while before he replies...but it sounds positive, i think...and so i reply back...and i have learnt my lesson from xtn, to always sms with a question or two, so that he has to reply. The questions are direct but i receive no response...it was sent at 7:30pm...its now after midday the day after!
Is he playing games with me?
Thats it, i call it quits! I dont understand why you have to play games with someone? If you are interested in someone and they give you really obvious hints, short of asking you blantantly out...then why not make the most of it???
Initially, i thought he was shy...but he isnt...i need to face the fact that maybe he isnt all that interested anymore...and i may sort of be that girl on the side. If that is the case, he isnt even going to get a chance.
Im quite resolute in my decisions.
If he calls today to make it up to me, then he might still get his chance...but i doubt he will call...and if that is the case, well too bad on his part!
He emails me, and i reply...dropping hints left right and centre, that its okay if he wants to ask me out! That i would be inclined to say yes to him at the drop of a hat!
*silence*
Now, how did it go from eager to speak to me...to ignoring me?
I think to myself...since its the 21st Century...maybe i shouldnt be so strict on myself...ill sms him and see if he is interested in going to an exhibition, since he has been hinting about going to do more "cultural" things!
So, i sms and its a while before he replies...but it sounds positive, i think...and so i reply back...and i have learnt my lesson from xtn, to always sms with a question or two, so that he has to reply. The questions are direct but i receive no response...it was sent at 7:30pm...its now after midday the day after!
Is he playing games with me?
Thats it, i call it quits! I dont understand why you have to play games with someone? If you are interested in someone and they give you really obvious hints, short of asking you blantantly out...then why not make the most of it???
Initially, i thought he was shy...but he isnt...i need to face the fact that maybe he isnt all that interested anymore...and i may sort of be that girl on the side. If that is the case, he isnt even going to get a chance.
Im quite resolute in my decisions.
If he calls today to make it up to me, then he might still get his chance...but i doubt he will call...and if that is the case, well too bad on his part!
Friday, September 03, 2004
My own mini petals...
It was sort of like dejavu...
Almost 3 years ago to this day, i left to go to Melbourne to help my cousin out cos she just gave birth to a baby girl and her toddler son was being a nightmare...
My sister in law, on the other hand...was about to give birth to my first niece. As i walked out of the house my sis-in-law said goodbye to me and my mother spoke to her stomach telling my yet-to-be-born niece not to come out until her aunty got back to Sydney!
I just looked at my mother with a "what the?" type of look! And said, if my niece wants to come out, she can come out whenever she'd like...the sooner the better!
Luckily, i had arranged for my best friend to pick me up from the airport when i got back to Sydney...otherwise i would have been stranded. My sis-in-law was in labour for about 12 hours. She went to the hospital about 2am or so...contractions began at about 3am...my niece didn't come out until about 3pm that afternoon.
Which happens to be coincidentally, the time my flight landed.
So what did my mother do? She blamed me for telling my niece not to come out until i got back home! But i ever so clearly recalled that SHE was the one who spoke to the tummy and SHE was the one who told me niece not to come out until i got back!
-_-"
Ever since Chloe was born, she remarkably resembled me. Everyone who saw her commented on the fact that she looked like her aunty! Well, considering i had lived a life looking like my brother...people i have never met before would just come up to me and say to "You must be Peter's sister...you look so much like him!"
Yeah, great...what every girl wants to hear! That she looks like her brother...and so much so, that people can recognise it! *doh!*
So, in actual fact, Chloe looks like her father...and since she is a girl...they say that she looks like moi.
Early on this week, i saw a mirrored reflection of when i was younger, in Chloe.
You see, when i was a toddler, i idolised my older brother...he would tell me to do things and i would just do it for him...like a slave, but i didnt realise at the time that he was using me and that he was a lazy bugger!
Then, when i got older, i started to understand. I realised that he was the most laziest person ever. He had his own two feet and two arms...he could walk and get his own drink, but he wouldnt. He could go to his room and get his big heavy blanket out! And yet he didnt! Instead, he would order me to go fetch the things he wanted or needed whilst he stayed in his comfy spot on the couch or whereever!
I started to curse things at him as i would trudge along and do what he told me to do...only cos if i didnt do it, he would hit me...as older brothers would do!
Not to say that my older brother doesn't love me. He offered to bash my first ex, because my ex made me cry...my lil brother also offered...brothers are sweet in their own way...
That nite, i was in the kitchen getting my dinner and Chloe comes in...she's trudging along and cursing saying "stoopid daddy...drink all my drink...i hate daddy...!" all under her breath. She walks to the refrigerator door, but she is too small to swing the door open. I walk up to her and ask what is wrong, and she tells me...that her stoopid daddy drank all of her drink and he told her to go and get some more! ahahahahaha...
She will be 3 y/o by the end of this month and she looks like me, especially when i was 3...even her hairstyle is the same as what mine was!
I use to worry about carrying her when she was a baby or even now, when i walk with her...im paranoid about people assuming that she is my daughter because the resemblance is so uncanny!
Yes, im a freak to even think that...but its possible! Although, i would have been 20 y/o if i had her, back then...
o_O
Almost 3 years ago to this day, i left to go to Melbourne to help my cousin out cos she just gave birth to a baby girl and her toddler son was being a nightmare...
My sister in law, on the other hand...was about to give birth to my first niece. As i walked out of the house my sis-in-law said goodbye to me and my mother spoke to her stomach telling my yet-to-be-born niece not to come out until her aunty got back to Sydney!
I just looked at my mother with a "what the?" type of look! And said, if my niece wants to come out, she can come out whenever she'd like...the sooner the better!
Luckily, i had arranged for my best friend to pick me up from the airport when i got back to Sydney...otherwise i would have been stranded. My sis-in-law was in labour for about 12 hours. She went to the hospital about 2am or so...contractions began at about 3am...my niece didn't come out until about 3pm that afternoon.
Which happens to be coincidentally, the time my flight landed.
So what did my mother do? She blamed me for telling my niece not to come out until i got back home! But i ever so clearly recalled that SHE was the one who spoke to the tummy and SHE was the one who told me niece not to come out until i got back!
-_-"
Ever since Chloe was born, she remarkably resembled me. Everyone who saw her commented on the fact that she looked like her aunty! Well, considering i had lived a life looking like my brother...people i have never met before would just come up to me and say to "You must be Peter's sister...you look so much like him!"
Yeah, great...what every girl wants to hear! That she looks like her brother...and so much so, that people can recognise it! *doh!*
So, in actual fact, Chloe looks like her father...and since she is a girl...they say that she looks like moi.
Early on this week, i saw a mirrored reflection of when i was younger, in Chloe.
You see, when i was a toddler, i idolised my older brother...he would tell me to do things and i would just do it for him...like a slave, but i didnt realise at the time that he was using me and that he was a lazy bugger!
Then, when i got older, i started to understand. I realised that he was the most laziest person ever. He had his own two feet and two arms...he could walk and get his own drink, but he wouldnt. He could go to his room and get his big heavy blanket out! And yet he didnt! Instead, he would order me to go fetch the things he wanted or needed whilst he stayed in his comfy spot on the couch or whereever!
I started to curse things at him as i would trudge along and do what he told me to do...only cos if i didnt do it, he would hit me...as older brothers would do!
Not to say that my older brother doesn't love me. He offered to bash my first ex, because my ex made me cry...my lil brother also offered...brothers are sweet in their own way...
That nite, i was in the kitchen getting my dinner and Chloe comes in...she's trudging along and cursing saying "stoopid daddy...drink all my drink...i hate daddy...!" all under her breath. She walks to the refrigerator door, but she is too small to swing the door open. I walk up to her and ask what is wrong, and she tells me...that her stoopid daddy drank all of her drink and he told her to go and get some more! ahahahahaha...
She will be 3 y/o by the end of this month and she looks like me, especially when i was 3...even her hairstyle is the same as what mine was!
I use to worry about carrying her when she was a baby or even now, when i walk with her...im paranoid about people assuming that she is my daughter because the resemblance is so uncanny!
Yes, im a freak to even think that...but its possible! Although, i would have been 20 y/o if i had her, back then...
o_O
Thursday, September 02, 2004
I am a Yellow Lioness...
I get sent quite a few emails with links to things...those fwds that you get at work! There was one that i recently got and thought "I wonder what that is? I've never seen it before..."
So, I clicked on the link and it brought me to a Colour/Animal checking tool.
You enter your name, date of birth and your gender. It does its mumbo-jumbo and hey presto you are told what coloured animal you are with a pretty well defined explanation.
I read about the "yellow lion" and i was taken aback. What i happened to be reading was a well thought out description of me. I dont know whether to believe that this tool knows me better than myself, or its creator is far more articulate than i in expressing my personality.
But oh my...if you asked me to describe myself, i may have to plagiarise that summary! Go and try it for yourself if u are bored!
The Yellow Lioness:
* You are Yellow Lion, who looks cheerful, straightforward and precise, but at the bottom of your heart, you are very cautious towards other people and do not take your guard off so easily.
* You are always thoroughly on your guard.
* You hardly express your emotions, but can act in line with the others.
* Although this make you look sociable, you are not truly coming out of your shell.
* You tend to be rather a lonely person, and work hard without taking notice of the surrounding situations.
* You dislike being interfered, and do not depend on or show your weakness to others.
* You tend to endure your struggle all on your own.
* You are very responsible person, and puts great effort in improving traditional things.
* You don't go rushing into things on your own, but try to work by keeping well balanced with others.
* You have perseverance, and carry things out with determination to finish it.
* You live your life actively and are reliable person.
* Your ways of thinking is sound and reliable.
* This sometimes gives you an impression of being too serious and strong-minded.
* You don't possess emotional dependence and obsession.
* You have a very straight forward atmosphere, and can tackle things calmly.
* You don't brood over as well.
* You can look after and take good care of those younger than you and those who are weaker than you.
* They depend on you greatly.
* You will keep your career even after the marriage.
* It will be important for you and your partner to respect each other.
So, I clicked on the link and it brought me to a Colour/Animal checking tool.
You enter your name, date of birth and your gender. It does its mumbo-jumbo and hey presto you are told what coloured animal you are with a pretty well defined explanation.
I read about the "yellow lion" and i was taken aback. What i happened to be reading was a well thought out description of me. I dont know whether to believe that this tool knows me better than myself, or its creator is far more articulate than i in expressing my personality.
But oh my...if you asked me to describe myself, i may have to plagiarise that summary! Go and try it for yourself if u are bored!
The Yellow Lioness:
* You are Yellow Lion, who looks cheerful, straightforward and precise, but at the bottom of your heart, you are very cautious towards other people and do not take your guard off so easily.
* You are always thoroughly on your guard.
* You hardly express your emotions, but can act in line with the others.
* Although this make you look sociable, you are not truly coming out of your shell.
* You tend to be rather a lonely person, and work hard without taking notice of the surrounding situations.
* You dislike being interfered, and do not depend on or show your weakness to others.
* You tend to endure your struggle all on your own.
* You are very responsible person, and puts great effort in improving traditional things.
* You don't go rushing into things on your own, but try to work by keeping well balanced with others.
* You have perseverance, and carry things out with determination to finish it.
* You live your life actively and are reliable person.
* Your ways of thinking is sound and reliable.
* This sometimes gives you an impression of being too serious and strong-minded.
* You don't possess emotional dependence and obsession.
* You have a very straight forward atmosphere, and can tackle things calmly.
* You don't brood over as well.
* You can look after and take good care of those younger than you and those who are weaker than you.
* They depend on you greatly.
* You will keep your career even after the marriage.
* It will be important for you and your partner to respect each other.
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
My social experiment just backfired!
I decided to test Ding!'s advice, regarding skirts and heels.
For about a week and a half, i have worn skirts and heels on most occasions and for about 3 days i wore pants and heels. I was taking note of how men (of all ages) treated me. And i can honestly say, in a skirt and heels...guys treat me in a much more nicer/delicate way.
Other than the fact that a skirt makes me feel feminine and girly...i think guys might perceive that when a girl is wearing pants, that the girl wants to be treated as an equal and therefore, the guys treat the girl in pants in a different manner. While if you wear a skirt, they look at u as a delicate creature that is in need of their help...
In a skirt, guys constantly hold the door open for me...some have even run to the door to open it before i reached it. Strangely, some of those same guys neglect to say hello or open the door for me when im wearing pants.
Subsequently, i prefer wearing skirts at work now, as i get treated better. As for respect as an equal...the people who i want to respect me, already do so...im not out there trying to be an equal with any of the engineers and no one else does my job!
At which point did my "experiment" backfire?
I went to the bank today to withdraw the money to pay for my diamond ring. The teller was a cute Asian guy named Nick. As he was printing out my receipt something happened between him and the older lady teller beside him.
She said to him: "Dont give me that look! I'll get u later..."
He said: "What look? I dont even know what ur talking about." (Although, he was giving her this cheeky grin).
I said to him: "You have a cheeky look on ur face!"
He said: "What? No...and you cant get involved!"
She said: "You have a look, and there...u gave it again!"
*I chuckled*
He took the money out and gave me the receipt to sign...started counting the money for me...i interjected and said "its good that u can count to 10"...he gave that cheeky look and started counting louder and by the time he got to 3 lots of 10x $100 notes he said "30" to make a point...hahahaha...then he continued counting the $50 notes...
After he counted, he asked if i needed an envelope and if i needed a security escort?
I said: "Yes, an envelope would be nice and if you are offering a new service of escorting me, you are more than welcome to..."
He said: "How can i refuse that?!"
The lady teller: "What? What can't u refuse? And stop giving me that look!"
He said: "Escorting her out...im the security guy on the weekends, u know?"
hahahahaha
He said: "You are the first animated customer to come in today, that i've served."
I said: "Really?"
He said: "Yeah, everyone who comes in looks dull and boring, lifeless..."
I said: "Well, i work in an office all day and interact with people on the phone...so i know what boring is..."
He said: "I should come by your work then..."
I said: "I doubt you would have the opportunity to interact with me though..."
He said: "Why not? What do u do???"
I said: "Im a Network Administrator...and unless ur a company with a problem with ur network, you wouldnt interact with me."
He said: "Im an accountant, i'll find a way!"
*LoL*
Okay, the whole point was to say that i was wearing pants and this guy at the bank was flirting with me anyway. And the Salad Guy has always been nice to me irrespective of whether im wearing a pair of pants or a skirt. (I always wear heels, because im vertically challenged! haha)
And on the weekend...when i was out at the party and that friend of a friend was "getting to know me"...i was wearing pants then too...hmm...bugger!
And i need to refrain from using the word "bugger"!
For about a week and a half, i have worn skirts and heels on most occasions and for about 3 days i wore pants and heels. I was taking note of how men (of all ages) treated me. And i can honestly say, in a skirt and heels...guys treat me in a much more nicer/delicate way.
Other than the fact that a skirt makes me feel feminine and girly...i think guys might perceive that when a girl is wearing pants, that the girl wants to be treated as an equal and therefore, the guys treat the girl in pants in a different manner. While if you wear a skirt, they look at u as a delicate creature that is in need of their help...
In a skirt, guys constantly hold the door open for me...some have even run to the door to open it before i reached it. Strangely, some of those same guys neglect to say hello or open the door for me when im wearing pants.
Subsequently, i prefer wearing skirts at work now, as i get treated better. As for respect as an equal...the people who i want to respect me, already do so...im not out there trying to be an equal with any of the engineers and no one else does my job!
At which point did my "experiment" backfire?
I went to the bank today to withdraw the money to pay for my diamond ring. The teller was a cute Asian guy named Nick. As he was printing out my receipt something happened between him and the older lady teller beside him.
She said to him: "Dont give me that look! I'll get u later..."
He said: "What look? I dont even know what ur talking about." (Although, he was giving her this cheeky grin).
I said to him: "You have a cheeky look on ur face!"
He said: "What? No...and you cant get involved!"
She said: "You have a look, and there...u gave it again!"
*I chuckled*
He took the money out and gave me the receipt to sign...started counting the money for me...i interjected and said "its good that u can count to 10"...he gave that cheeky look and started counting louder and by the time he got to 3 lots of 10x $100 notes he said "30" to make a point...hahahaha...then he continued counting the $50 notes...
After he counted, he asked if i needed an envelope and if i needed a security escort?
I said: "Yes, an envelope would be nice and if you are offering a new service of escorting me, you are more than welcome to..."
He said: "How can i refuse that?!"
The lady teller: "What? What can't u refuse? And stop giving me that look!"
He said: "Escorting her out...im the security guy on the weekends, u know?"
hahahahaha
He said: "You are the first animated customer to come in today, that i've served."
I said: "Really?"
He said: "Yeah, everyone who comes in looks dull and boring, lifeless..."
I said: "Well, i work in an office all day and interact with people on the phone...so i know what boring is..."
He said: "I should come by your work then..."
I said: "I doubt you would have the opportunity to interact with me though..."
He said: "Why not? What do u do???"
I said: "Im a Network Administrator...and unless ur a company with a problem with ur network, you wouldnt interact with me."
He said: "Im an accountant, i'll find a way!"
*LoL*
Okay, the whole point was to say that i was wearing pants and this guy at the bank was flirting with me anyway. And the Salad Guy has always been nice to me irrespective of whether im wearing a pair of pants or a skirt. (I always wear heels, because im vertically challenged! haha)
And on the weekend...when i was out at the party and that friend of a friend was "getting to know me"...i was wearing pants then too...hmm...bugger!
And i need to refrain from using the word "bugger"!
