Touching the Void...

I watched that last nite...an inspiring movie in one way, a bit shattering to the soul in another.

Because im not so well, i sort of dozed in and out between the middle of the movie, but i could hear everything that they were saying or re-enacting.

The movie, for those who dont know, is a doco type of movie about two mountaineers climbing the Siula Grande, Peru. They climb to the top fine, but were faced with a tough time going down. So tough, that one of the mountaineer cuts the rope from his partner (ie. pretty much leaving him there to die - which was really the only "logical" decision).

You are told the story by the two mountaineers involved: Simon Yates & Joe Simpson. I think they are motivational speakers now...

What really sticks to my mind, after going in and out of semi-consciousness, was something that Joe says: "...because i had felt a little hope, when i realised, i was crushed..." (something along those lines...).

Point being...because he had felt a little bit of hope...

Hope - isnt that what keeps us going? His hope ran out at the end...when it wasnt really needed anymore for that particular situation...not that he knew it...he probably felt that he was going to be dead very soon, which is why he was crushed with the realisation that it was the end of hope.

The movie, although i was dreading on going...was in the end very interesting. In some ways, inspiring...not for me to go out and literally start climbing mountains...but to keep me motivated to keep pushing on to achieve what i want.

Now, what do i want again?

6 degrees of separation...

A friend (i sorta re-met on my Blue Mts trip) and i, had just realised that i know many of his friends.

I have met Andrew on various occasions previously, like at Henry's BBQ thingo at Coogee...or at steamboat in Burwood, etc. Henry knows Andrew through Andrew's gf. She did Physiotherapy at uni with Henry. I know Henry from highschool...which is how we are all connected.

When i was studying at the library for my HSC, i met all these people through my friend's cousin. Her cousin was doing 3U Ancient History and was also focusing on Roman Britain like i was, which is how he and i became close buddies.

I met all of his friends from highschool during this time, but never met Andrew. 5 years on, and in an email thread, we discover that he went to uni with my friend's sister...and that her bestfriend that was also doing the same course at the same uni with him...went to primary school with our other friends.

We then discover that all those people i met back during HSC time and still know, were his friends in highschool! I'm not surprised as much as i use to be, when finding out such details...im learning from experience that the world is getting smaller.

This leads to my next story...

My best friend went on a Contiki Tour of Europe from January 1, 2004 for 5 weeks. On this trip, she had met a really cute newlywed couple. The newlyweds are related to Gavin Rossdale (lead singer of Bush) and his wife Gwen Stefani (lead singer of No Doubt) through marriage.

That couple had joined the tour after spending Christmas with the famous couple and other members of the family. And whilst they were in Switzerland or Belgium...somewhere that there was good chocolate...the newlyweds showed my best friend and her sister their current holiday video thus far, over some hot chocolate...and yes they had some footage of Gwen and Gavin!

The newlyweds are an asian couple. The husband's father or uncle married Gavin's mum...thats how they are connected. It was by chance that the couple didnt want to party all night like the other people on the tour. Which is probably how they befriended my best friend and her sister, as they were tired from sightseeing during the day and the time difference between zones.

The four of them enjoyed the tour as a nice little group.

I wonder if i am able to say that i know someone who knows Gwen & Gavin??? *LoL*
(Through someone + someone + someone...hehehe)

Half a century...

She turned 50 today!

*woohoo*

^_^

I'm still trying to figure something to do as to celebrate her 50th Birthday...i was thinking about taking her to Melbourne to visit my cousin, since the airfares are so cheap. That or the Gold Coast. But if i go to the Gold Coast, id want to go on the rides, so im not sure she would be up for that.

For a 50 y/o...my mother is quite fit and she doesnt look 50 at all.

If i could, now, look as good as she did after having 2 children - that would be a miracle! I'd post the foto of her when i was a toddler, but since my scanner went caput! thats not going to happen anytime soon...

She still looked fab after 3 kids...but according to her, after 3 kids...its very hard to get back into shape...but i think after having a baby let alone 3 kids, its fine to look motherly.

I wonder how she is feeling? Life must be different to what she expected when she was a teenager, but i wonder if its different to what she expected when she first came to Australia??? I mean, when u head off to a new country that few had heard of, what do u expect?

I gotta remember to pick up her cake before i rush home to go to dinner!!!

*remember petals!*

I'm okay, how are u?

Why do we feel the need to ask people how they are doing, if we dont genuinely care how they are honestly feeling? Especially, when u ask and they lie to you and say that they are okay, but they are not, really. But had they said to you that they were not well, and then elaborated on why they are not well, you would think to yourself - why did i bother asking???

People ask me probably 30 times or more, depending on whether i have a bad day at work or not. I'm constantly being asked how am i, even if i have already spoken to the same engineer only 10 minutes ago. YES, i understand that they do it just to be polite. YES, i understand that i answer that im okay, just to be polite. BUT shouldnt we just cut it out, knowing that we are both just being polite, and our answers will be "i'm okay" or some similar variant of okay?

I'm not well. I'm coming down with the flu. I'm feeling feverish. When u ask me how i am, i really want to say that "im sick, i shouldnt be at work, although i am their last hope at the moment, and to be honest...im sick of saying that im okay, when im really not."

I have tried in the past to be honest with people when they asked how i was. I use to tell the engineers (because they know me) that i felt tired, when i did. That i was sick, when i was sick. That i was grateful that it was a Friday, when it was a Friday. And they empathised, but i just wasted heaps of time explaining myself. So, i stopped...and went back to being polite. They probably didnt care to hear about all the details either.

My phone calls always start of with:

Hi, how are you?
 
I'm good/okay, how are you?
 
I'm good, thanks.
I just called to...
 
If i dont ask a client how they are out of politeness, will they be offended? Will it be unprofessional?...I think that is the reason why i keep asking, even though i dont want to.  I also think its a bad habit, to ask because someone else asked you, not because you care to know. Curse the darn habit! =P

I'm just sorry...

Look, i'm sorry i really enjoyed myself at the Franz Ferdinand concert...the band went off...i danced the nite away...it was one of the best concerts i have been to. It was also the first time i witnessed so many people body surfing in the crowd!

I'm sorry that i bothered to pay $100 to get my hair done...it was okay, but it wasn't worth the $100 i spent to get it "deep conditioned" and the minute trim she gave me...and the non-existant consultation i had had with the hairdresser! Like wtf?!

I'm so sorry that i was unable to fit anymore dessert, because i would have enjoyed eating a full size green tea creme brulee on my own! =P

I'm sorry for all the dramas that occurred while i was managing the salon...but it was out of my hands...i couldnt control him and his issues with his ex wife...Bao wished u were back from the US and i soo wished that u were back too!

I'm sorry for being a complete agro b*tch...my day was bad and you were in my way of getting ready for the reception...which is why i told you to get out of my way!

I'm sorry for being late and there by making my family late for the wedding reception. I got held back at work, due to the issues that one of the employees was having with his ex wife. And then when i was doing the bookkeeping, the total just didnt seem right...I left an hour later than i had planned to. I got stuck in the mall, cos the security guards closed the various gates...had to track one of the security guards down, so that he could open one of the gates to let me out!

I'm so sorry that i witnessed all those bad singers at the reception...they are the type who'd rival Flynn and William Hung, but they think that they are really fab singers! >_<

I'm sorry i went shopping with my mother...she tells me not to buy anymore shoes or clothing...but she is the one with me. She is the one telling me how pretty the shoes look and if i dont buy it now when i need them, i wont be able to find them! Lets just say, i spent alot...

I'm sorry i had dinner before the animation fest. My mother made dinner for me, cos i thought we were eating at home first before going. Which in turn made me sorry for eating dinner twice...ugh...i still feel bloated!

I'm sorry that the scent of my hair reminds you of a time ud rather not remember...however good it was. I now know it hurts, but i didnt realise how much it affected you.

Simply put...

This is a quick reminder to myself...its something M told me one day either at the gym or in an email or somewhere...I reminded her of her theory last nite and she said that she would write it in a blog...so this is my inaccurate, condensed version.

She said to me, that people who were not born "pretty" or "beautiful" and realised it at an early stage, tend to develop their personality and talents as they do not have "looks" to rely on.

People wont talk to you because ur the prettiest girl in school...people would talk to you because they thought it was cool that u played an instrument...or that u were the best at a subject in school...etc...

This isnt to say that there are no "beautiful" people who have personality &/or talent...its just that the "not so beautiful" people tend to have more personality &/or talent to make up for the lack of beauty on the outside.

Which is where the whole "beauty is skin deep" comes from, i think anyway...

M also believes in the whole Ugly Duckling - Swan transformation...im not sure if i agree with this one...is there such a thing as a Swan - Ugly Duckling transformation, ie the reverse?

Come to realise...

I may be incoherent in this blog...as its pretty busy at work, but i need a break.
 
Please recognise that some of these ideas were helped pulled together by M. We were in the car waiting for L to meet up with us, so that we could go visit V in the hospital...(Hope you get well soon V!)
 
Persistance pays off: I look at the relationships that some girlfriends or some acquaintances of mine have...where the guy isnt really hot, and quite frankly if he was single and just there, u still wouldnt consider him...but u see him as your friend's bf...and you think, i wouldnt mind if i found a guy like that! These guys going out with cute or pretty girls...got those girls because they were persistant!
 
My personality is contrary to this belief...so i guess i better start putting the effort in. I've noticed that guys these days don't put enough effort either...
 
The couple i keep harping on about where he chased her for yonks...my girlfriend said that his persistance came to a point where one day she thought "I dont know what id do if i didnt have that attention anymore...so i gave him a chance..." And they have been together for 5 years...he was chasing her for 6 years.
 
*got interrupted at this point*

Now, when i say persistance, im not referring to the in-your-face type of harassment thats full on! Im talking about just being there consistantly, as a friend, but the girl is aware that u do like her in "that" way...subtleness...

*after i came back from lunch*

I think that even a stubborn girl, like myself will crack one day (sooner or later) if a guy was persistant with me!

I noticed that this day and age (maybe its our pickiness)...but we give up too easy - we are by no means persistant! Im guilty of it...if it gets tough or i cant be fudged, i just think to myself "heh...moving right along...exit door to my left!"

Acknowledgment to what i want: I'm looking for good company...someone who is interesting to talk to...the type of person that u can sit at a cafe and talk to for ages on things that u wouldnt normally fathom...thats what i currently want. (This is not a description of a boyfriend...just someone...)

Motivation is the key: I dont think im achieving many successes in my life, currently. There is only one person to blame for this. I dont have that go-getter spirit that most successful people have. I no longer care to compete and i only envision to compete with myself. So that i can better my stance in the world, but not really to be better than anyone in particular. Im not really motivated to do much now...so i blame myself.

M told me about a show on Compass that was a 3 part series in which she watched. The researcher presented the stats he found and it was like 9 out of 10 people who were successful in achieving what they wanted...those 9 people all said that they were motivated to "show someone...blah blah blah"...They wanted to prove someone else wrong, prove to someone else that they were better, to get revenge...

I dont have that urge.

I really do agree that motivation is the biggest key in success...i just dont have much if any at the moment...any minute amount of motivation that i previously had...i think has fizzled out about a week ago.

I dont even feel bad that im not motivated to do much these days...is that wrong?

M was talking about how she got to the platform of the train station and wasnt even sure if she whipped out her train ticket from her wallet, put it in the machine, took it back and put it into her wallet...before she got onto the platform. Although, she must have otherwise how could she have gotten in???

I feel like a lot of things i do these days is quite robotic - mechanical.

I feel like i have been programmed to do everything that i do every day of the week, including the weekends. My weekends are organised, just like my week days...

I need to shake things up...

Wedding bells are ringing...

She is getting married this Saturday.
 
Its a bit ironic...my mother has this theory, that when you break up from a long term relationship and get back together...something BIG happens!
 
In her case, they were together for over 4 years...broke up for about a month or two...got back together...and a month ago...well, we all found out that she was 10 weeks pregnant.
 
So, the wedding was organised in a rush...but it seems to have all fallen into place by the date of the wedding, so i dont think anyone will complain.
 
Chloe will be the flowergirl, but the poor dear is suffering from a cold or flu...and yet she has been practicing with a basket, pretending to throw rose petals as she walks along the hallway...hehhehehe...she thinks its her day, to be the princess!
 
I wont be bridesmaid again...i hated being one when my brother and sis-in-law got married...*ugh*...I'll actually be working on the day to cover my sis-in-laws absence from the salon. I've never been a manager...and now i have to manage a salon.
 
Am i freaking out?
YES! Did you even have to ask???
=P
 
I will be arriving at the wedding fashionably late(but who doesnt arrive late at asian weddings)...since I will have to go home after shutting the salon and get ready for the reception...i'll just take my time...hehehhe
 
You want to know the more shocking detail of this wedding?
 
The bride-to-be is only 18 y/o.
=(
 
When i was 18...i just started uni...and funny enough, i was partying with my sis-in-law, before she married my brother! ^_^
 
I wonder if my sis-in-law ever misses those girly nites out? But she married my brother at 26 y/o. At least she lived frivolously for a bit...
 
I wonder if the bride-to-be is feeling like she will (or may even currently) be missing a whole chunk of being a young careless adult? Because in about 6-7 months...she will have to be a responsible adult looking after another person...
 
*sigh*

Coming out of The Closet...

I have a thing for french movies. Especially the cute, quaint, comedic type of movies.  In my mind, i think that i have an edge for watching french films, just because i studied french for about 1 year in highschool. I pretend that i understand fully...altho my french only extends as far as: "hello, how are u? im good or very good or bad or so-so, my name is...what is your name? how old are you? im 23 y/o. Thank you/Thank you very much..."
 
So, what makes me think that i can speak french and understand french fluently? Gosh, i think im just deluded - because i dont, really!
 
The movie - The Closet, is about a man, Francois. He is a boring accountant...so boring that his wife left him 2 years ago and his 15 y/o son thinks he is so boring that he isnt worth his time for a short visit. Francois is left with nothing but his job. And when he finds out that he is at risk of losing his job one day...he tells the cat he finds on his balcony that nite, that he should just commit suicide.
 
Basically, his neighbour who overhears his conversation with the cat, and then he suggest to Francois that he doesnt jump, but in fact tell the lie that he is in fact gay. And it works. The company even tries to promote him, since they are manufacturers of rubber and rubbery things...hahhahaha.
 
The guys life becomes interesting, people around him change due to his lie and some doctored foto of his face superimposed on another's body. His son who has been avoiding him goes and visits his father. His ex wife is interested in knowing why he is now "gay" and invites him to dinner.
 
From all the events that occur, he wakes up from his trance of forever pining for his ex wife at the dinner. He realises that he has the potential to be more...to offer more...no longer boring. And the main realisation is that his ex wife was a selfish, unloving, ungiving person that he just didnt need in his life anymore.
 
I laughed more than i anticipated...it was a funny movie.
 

Creamy pumpkin soup for a smile...

Helllloooo! *He smiles his smile*
Have here, or to go? (He remembers why i am there...)
 
I'll have it to go, thank you.
You look buggered today...been busy with the lunch time customers?
 
Yeah, one of the guys cut his finger...so its been flat chat.
 
Oh my...
 
*He serves some other customers*
 
(Notice that Ryan wasn't there today...)
 
*My soup comes out in a nice little container*
 
It wasn't Ryan was it? The one who cut his finger???
 
No, it was Troy...
 
Was it really bad?
 
Well, Troy is a trooper, it was quite bad, otherwise he would have soldiered on...
 
I hope he gets well soon!
Thanks for the soup.
 
*I smile at him*
 
*He returns with THAT smile, and a bonus wink*
 
What i realise, and this makes me swoon even more, is that he only winks at me...well as far as i could see while im there...
 
He served other girls...but i was the only one that he winked at!
 
*ahhhhh....*
 
^_^
 
And ermm...yes, the soup was delicious!  

Flynn. Fling?

That asian guy who tried out at the Australian Idol doing a rendition of Michael Jackson's "Beat It"...well he has successfully achieved the William Hung fame...(not to the same scale...but he might get there).
 
The guy has this snippet where he sings "Beat It" for 2dayFM's Beat the Bomb competition.
 
I just think its wrong that you would use a name that u can't even pronounce urself.
 
He tried to tell the judges his name, and it took him about 3 or 4 times of saying Flynn...which really did sound like Fling...before they got what he meant!
 
I doubt he will get a contract to do an album like William Hung...but u never know. 

Lunch today...Update for Riss...

Its not a matter of him saying my name when he says hello...altho, his voice is pleasant on the ears...

Its that smile.

A warm impish smile...not too broad, but full. With this touch of cheekiness.

I went to get my lunch and asked what was the soup of the day and his employee said it was chunky veg. I joked and said "but u guys had that yesterday"!

So, HE came up and asked me what i wanted to have? I told him that i would like creamy pumpkin. He told me "DONE! I'll have it ready for tomoro."

I then told him: "Wow, your allowing my request?"
Cute guy: "Only because your special!"

*heart melts*

Me: "Oh, so i'm special..."
Cute guy: "Yes, you are. And so is Ryan. He is a special kind of special..." (talking about his employee)

*Cute guy tells a joke to Ryan - i missed it*

Ryan: "His jokes are lame." (He was grabbing the freshest produce for me!)
Me: "Sorry, missed it!"
Cute guy: "I told Ryan that we get a Government Grant to keep him here."
Me: "Thats not very nice!"
Cute guy: "I'm not very nice..." (So, he says with that smile!)

So, I guess ill have to get lunch there tomoro. I mean, they are making the soup upon my request...(not that i was thinking of getting something else for lunch!)

;)

I'm really suspicious about her...

Out of the blue, she emails me.

I look at it and think "Should i reply?"

Out of courtesy, i reply with a simple hello. how are u? im fine, thanks for asking.

The second email she sends me, seems generic, asking me about my work.

Once again i reply to be polite and i ask if she was working.

Third email i receive, it gets personal! She asks me about my love life, what my status was?!

O_O

Shocked, stunned, & slightly offended, i curtly respond and inform her that i was single - by choice.

Fourth email and she springs it on me! She has a friend. Uber cute. Interesting. Fun. Apparently, he can handle "fiesty" girls, 'If i know what she means'.

I once again, politely inform her that im not interested in being set up (from an acquaintance, nonetheless). And if this guy is so crash hot, on every girls "I want you" list...then why is he single...or why wasnt she going out with him???

She replies to that email, telling me that he was a friend of hers and not her type. Considering what i knew about her "type" - the little i did know...i still felt highly suspicious of the whole situation.

She shoots another email asking if i am available next Friday nite.

Thankfully, i am an utterly busy girl next week! I inform her that i already have plans to go to dinner and drinks. So, im very sorry, but im busy!

She sends another email, trying to convince me to "just meet the guy"...whatever i decide after that wont matter.

I couldn't be bothered to respond to that email.

Then, she does the shifty and sms my mobile. I advise her that I AM HAVING DINNER AND DRINKS that nite that she suggested. She then sms me with another date.

I didnt bother replying to that.

She sms'd my mobile again, advising me of his whereabouts on that evening, the evening that i will be busy...she asks if i will be anywhere near there?

I am not about to go and see a person i dont want to meet.

I didnt reply to that sms either.

So, she calls my mobile. Thankfully, im at the gym and missed the call. She had left a voice message. I was rude this time, and i didnt call back.

I dont understand why she doesnt get the hint???

I dont want to be set up.

Im actually happy at the moment, where i am.

I dont appreciate that out of nowhere, she is now in my face trying to set me up with her friend - a supposed "fantastic" guy! Which im quite skeptical about, and this whole fiasco is leaving a really disgusting taste on my tongue.

Be afraid...be very afraid...

He is soo cute!

I asked him for his name after he winked at me while i was ordering my lunch yesterday. Since he learnt my name, he had always said hello to me (name included) without a fail...I was feeling bad that i didnt know his.

This guy has the ability to turn my day around.
I look forward to my lunch breaks because of him.
He makes me smile, flirt, and feel feminine.

He offered to buy me a coffee, he said it was on him. I politely informed him that i didnt drink coffee...so he offered to buy me a bottle of water. He was so cute, i said that i would grab one later.

Today, he looked more alert...(previously i learnt that he drinks 8 cups of coffee each day to stay awake and on his toes)...poor guy! So, i commented to him that he looked more perky today. He smiled his warm smile...i just smiled back. I asked if it was due to more coffee? He said no...he was trying to ween off the coffee, since it was "bad for him". (That was something i said to him when i learnt that he had 8 cups a day!)

*^_^*

I'm utterly smitten by this guy...im impressed by him because he turned his idea into a reality...and although its hard work, he is there doing it every day! And it doesnt hurt that he is cute too!
;)

ahahahahahaha

You look pale!

That's what my older brother said to me last nite when he actually looked at my face. (He rarely does so.) I dont think i look pale...(I asked M when i saw her, she didnt think so). Then he asked what i was doing being a vegetarian?

To be honest, i dont have a problem with eating meat, and im not making a statement either...i just feel uncomfortable digesting it now, especially after doing the detox properly.

My mother is getting worried. And because my brother said that, she is adamant that i need to eat meat. She is literally trying to force it down my throat. The only way i manage to escape, is by rushing off to the gym before she can ask if i will be having dinner!

I eat, and i eat frequently. My choice of snacks are all healthy. My choice in meals are also healthy. So, it may consist of vegetables more than any form of meat, if any...you'd think my mother would be happy, considering she use to harp on the fact that i didnt eat enough of it.

To make up for the lack of meat, i do take vitamin supplements, and i am eating mineral rich foods to make up for the lack of iron, calcium, etc.

I should try to smile more, so that there is more colour to my cheeks...
=P

A new version of a Swear Jar...

We are introducing a new kind of money jar...where we deposit a monetary denomination (TBA) for certain colloquial slangs that would be deemed a "westie" term. A coin for every term used.

Words or phrases we are not allowed to use, thus far:

* y'know or uno
* dunno
* serious???
* oh my gawd!
* nahhh...
* no wayyy!
* chicken shiet
* do you get what i mean?

This list will grow in time. I will be endeavouring to improve my professional and conversational skills by eliminating these slang terms from every day use.

I always thought that i spoke in a manner that was normal, straightforward, and concise. It seems i have been influenced by the people i associate myself with! It is time to separate the two.

This will be tough. Very tough, as i am surrounded by fobs at work, who did you think would be the engineers here?

What are the other slang terms that you have heard people from the West use???

Another why???

I had an almost perfect date on Saturday...

It was almost perfect, because it wasnt really a date.

Almost perfect, because everything else but that one glitch, was lovely, sweet and simple.

We went to pick up the movie tix for the Animation Fest, but since we were early, we went to the Markets to get a Turkish Gozlame...(as i woke up late and didnt have breakfast)...it was considerate of him...

It started to rain as i was ordering my Gozlame, so he ran to his car to get an umbrella for me...

Since it was raining, i ate in his car...and he wasnt bothered by it...

We headed back to pick up the Animation Fest tix because the cinemas were finally opened...after that, we head to Palace in Leichardt to watch "Dirty Pretty Things."

It was one intriguing and quaint movie. I really enjoyed it, but I am a tad biased...as im a fan of Audrey Tautou.

After the movie, we grabbed a bite, because he was hungry...i was just thirsty...i drank two bottles of water before i realised how dehydrated i was...

The whole day went by with ease, pity that nothing will amount from it.

Why???

Why do people, who are not Chinese or of an asian origin, enjoy appending an "a" to the end of my name?

If they were Chinese or of another asian ethnic background i would forgive them for adding an "a" or an "ah" to the end of my name, because they have a tendency to add an "a" or an "ah" to the end of any sentence.

For about 15 years, on my CBA statements, i was known as a Christina...even the computers were against me! I actually attempted to fix this name problem twice before...but gave up when they still had an "a" at the end of my name!

One day, i got fed up and stormed into a branch and got them to correct it in front of me, only to find that i had two profiles mirroring eachother...one as a Christine and another as a Christina.

Picture Portraits...

I dont wear make up to work. I dont like it all that much, & due to the nature of my work and the people i work with (30-somthing y/o engineers with wives and kids) i cant be buggered to get up an extra 10 minutes to "paint my face" in the morning.

But i would have liked a little warning that my face was going to be snapped and plastered on the work intranet! I mean, please, some sort of warning. I look like ive had a really bad nite & day, and im suffering from a cold/flu!

Its being loaded up, i guess because everyone wants to know what we (my department) look like...its going to be stuck with a profile of our job and resposibilities...like, what the?!

I dont want people to know what i am responsible for?! AND i dont want the people interstate to know what i look like! I hope it doesnt get distributed amongst the "greater" intranet, to all our sister and our parent company intranets! How sucky is that?! =(

It really made me feel like i was in school again, taking a personal portrait during School Photo Day. Or taking a passport photo before renewing my passport! And we all know how badly those photos can turn out! *bummer*

#

I had a hit of dejavu last nite. My dad was singing a song as he walked up the drive way to the back door. As a kid, although i didnt understand Manderin...i loved it when Dad would sing a Manderin song. It relaxed me...i think because it relaxed him...it was comforting to know that Dad was home from work and last nite, i felt like a kid again...

I havent felt so nostalgic as i did last nite. I complain that i am currently going through my quater-life crisis...but thats a load of bs...and im just complaining! But i sincerely believe that my father is going through his mid-life crisis.

For a long while, he didnt sing as he walked up the driveway...he didnt walk up the driveway while i was awake to hear, even if he was singing...My dad use to come home like clockwork because of what he did for a living...and then he decided to be his own boss, and became self employed. That was over 10 years ago, and for over 10 years...my dad just changed. I dont think he was happy with his choice...

So, for a decade...he has been feeling miserable...which is probably why he hadnt been singing for a long time. I think in his mind he has finally made some crucial decisions...which is why he can sing as he walks up the driveway these days...

Its quite sweet when i see my father carry Aimee and he rocks her to slumber. As he does so, he sings to her...and no matter how much she might be crying...she quietens down when she hears his voice and she falls asleep. I wonder if when i was a baby that he did the same thing? But according to Mum he never carried me. Maybe just as today, when i was baby...i must have heard him singing as he walked up the drive way...

Shocked, horrified & relieved...

I saw the guy at the gym again...hehehe...

M hatched a plan during the day and if i had the opportunity, i would have done something last nite that would have altered the course of my life (melodrama). But then again, my Chinese starsign is of a Chicken...and true to that, i acted like one!

Thankfully, i changed my mind from doing anything and just kept "scoping" the scene as i admired him from a far...because as the nite progressed...i saw him with a girl!

I pretended like i didnt notice, but i was shattered!

My crushing type of infatuation on the Gym Guy was actually just that, crushed!!!

It lasted no longer than a fortnight, how disappointing!?! But hey, it was fun while it lasted...AND while Gym Guy was with THAT girl, i noticed another guy on the Roman Chair...who happened to look very cute...and i caught him looking at me while i was doing my lower abdominals...hehehe...i think i found another crush.

;)

I shouldn't have to feel awkward...

But i think i will be...slowly 2 by 2, my friends are coupling up.

In retrospect, its quite funny...my mother always joked that "the girls" will one day pair up with "the boys". If my best friend wasn't as much a commitment phobe as myself, she would be one half of another "couple" in the group.

Last nite, i missed a call from one of the girls. She called and said "i have some news". I'm there thinking..."here we go again!"

She too asked me, "take a guess?"...why do they always ask me to do that?...i got it on my third guess.

I firstly asked if our other friends were "official" and have let the cat out of the bag, so to speak. My second guess was that she was going out with a person that was "rumoured" to have been interested in her...and of course i got it on my final guess.

She had been wishing, hoping, waiting, willing, even resorted to praying that one day they would be together...and then one day came.

She had a crush on him since high school...and thanks to my matching making Emma-style skills, i set them up to go to the formal together...and at that time, they were just friends. I guess a long term friendship goes a long way.

Over the years, us girls sorta parted way with the boys, as we all went to USYD and the boys went to UNSW. Then after uni, but more due to our 21st birthday parties...we happened to reconnect. Now that everyone has finished studying, i guess they are thinking about relationships more...which (maybe) explains why all the boys are acting weird and are hooking up with the girls! *LoL*

They play tennis with eachother on a regular basis now...the girls and boys...something i dont participate in as im not a good tennis player and they tend to play at odd hours when i have other commitments. And thankfully, i dont play with them...otherwise i think id feel weird seeing all the couples, and i would be thinking so who is next to pair up?!

Well, actually thats not hard to figure...since its only myself and my bestfriend who is left single...and since the guy who likes/liked her is one of the boys and it fell through, and everyone knew it...i dont think any of the other guys would go after her even if they liked her alot...(that whole secret boys code about not dating other friends love interest?!)

And, well, about myself...i've always been seen as one of the boys...heh...im the one they admire playing touch footy...so, ermm...i guess my best friend and i will have to settle with a girls nite out with just the two of us?! I'm not sure how my best friend will feel in the presence of the new couples...but i will certainly feel weird...

It took some time getting use to my other friends who are a couple and have been for the past 5 years...uno the couple i talk about where the guy chased my friend from Year 7 until the end of HSC and thats when they finally got together??? The update on them is that they recently bought a house together...thats what i call real love and commitment! But why did i feel weird, even knowing that he adored her...and that one day they would be together? Well, it was when they went out with us girls...he became a tag-along...and when there is a guy, u dont know how much u can say...even if he is ur friend too.

I dont care now because i talk about anything and everything in that friends presence...but that took a couple of years for that to happen...and ino he doesnt talk to the other boys like how those other boys DO talk amongst eachother...

I know im just being silly, and i need to adjust...i just hope their relationships last...because i will feel even more awkward if they dont work out and they dont ever talk to eachother again...

*smiles all around*

For a while (most of last week), i missed out on seeing that guy from the gym...and there he was last nite...haha!
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I have never seen my friend with his shirt off until last nite...and *damn* when he hopped out of the pool, with the water glistening off his chest...he looked HOT! And then we tried to attempt to talk through the glass wall between the gym and the pools...*LoL*

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He is a smooth operator...i need to remember that he is probably like that with all the girls...but at the moment its fun...its nice to receive compliments...and its nice to think that someone is thinking about you when you least expect it...

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I will be going to the Sydney International Animation Festival! Its on during July 20-25, 2004. Shoot that week will be busy...

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I cant wait until i go see Franz Ferdinand @ The Metro on the 22nd July...then i'm taking the next day off to be pampered...and then off to Kobe Jones for dinner...*mmm*...
^_^

Rise Rise Rise!

I have only been permanent for about 4 months...but the company is giving a review to every employee...im guaranteed a rise regardless, not much but something because they are changing the number of hours i work, but i won't actually have to do it.

Originally, i work 37.5 hours...if i get held back or don't have lunch, i don't get paid for it. So, i try my best to minimise that occurance. They now want to increase the hours to a standard 38 hours. Which is fine...i guess, it's a nice round number, but i don't really want to come in an extra 6 mins earlier than normal.

I start at 08:30hrs, and i finish at 17:00hrs. I asked my manager in jest, whether we could just round up the 0.5 and make it a whole 38 hrs. He said since it was just an extra 6 mins per day - "Forget about it!"

So, i get paid an extra 30 minutes worth of work, without doing any work!

Now...isn't that great news for a Friday?

I can't believe what i'm about to say...

When i was younger, i had chronic asthma, tonsilitis and hayfever.

I got my tonsils removed when i was about 8 y/o. But the asthma remained pretty bad and the hayfever...*ugh*...wasn't about to leave me be (i suffer 12 months of it). I was a regular in the local hospital for my asthma, like once a month i would be in there. The nurses were always nice to me...they new my name and my medical history. When i felt better whilst staying in the hospital, i would be allowed to sit with the nurses at the reception desk...isnt that weird??? hehehe...For one year i was away from school about half of the year.

Ironically, i received the best results in my reports that year...who understands how that works?

So, basically...due to my asthma, i have been afraid of any form of cardio/aerobic exercise, especially running. Anything that would get my lungs working overtime or get my heart rate racing, i'd be scared of it before even attempting it.

Thankfully, as i got older like in high school, i played team sports that didn't work me so hard and with the help of my ventolin inhaler...i think i learnt to live with it. When i finished high school i started going to the local leisure centre, because i wanted to do aqua aerobics since the doctor suggested that it would help me...and so i did.

Then Cleo or Cosmo had a promotion for 2 weeks free membership at the gym...and since my local gym was part of the promotion...i thought, "what the heck, lets just do it!!!"

It took me a good 2 years of going to the gym regularly doing anything and everything but run on the treadmill. Its been about 3.5 years and i now can say that i run on the treadmill at a sufficient pace. And although i do get tired, im nowhere near an asthma attack! *woohoo*

Surprisingly...its funny, im like this weird anomoly at the gym. All of my trainers including my recent one are all baffled with me and the results i produce.

My current trainer, he doesnt understand why i am unable to get the results that i want, because he watches me do my stuff whilst he walks around the gym checking that everything is running smoothly...and im literally working my butt off! My current heart rate at rest is like 49 beats per minute. Apparently, that is the definition of healthy and fit...and a marathon runner(?), i thought he was joking with me when he told me that! And since my heart rate is of a fit person...i need to get it up to about 175 beats per minute to gain any results from a cardio/aerobic workout. Apparently, the best way to get the heart rate up that high and keep it there for a while is by running.

So, here it is...and i really can't believe it is coming from my mouth...but i actually like running! All these years of being scared of running and avoiding it...all those times i said that i was asthmatic and therefore i shouldnt run in fear that it would trigger an attack...its all over now. I dont think i have asthma anymore. I dont use the inhaler, i havent for about 3 years, maybe even longer...i havent felt that tight squeeze on the chest for a very long time, actually i cant seem to remember how it felt.

The funny thing is that i enjoy running (still in awe about saying that)...or maybe i enjoy the sense of overcoming a physically overwhelming obstacle?

*What did you think i was going to say next?*