Come to realise...

I may be incoherent in this blog...as its pretty busy at work, but i need a break.
 
Please recognise that some of these ideas were helped pulled together by M. We were in the car waiting for L to meet up with us, so that we could go visit V in the hospital...(Hope you get well soon V!)
 
Persistance pays off: I look at the relationships that some girlfriends or some acquaintances of mine have...where the guy isnt really hot, and quite frankly if he was single and just there, u still wouldnt consider him...but u see him as your friend's bf...and you think, i wouldnt mind if i found a guy like that! These guys going out with cute or pretty girls...got those girls because they were persistant!
 
My personality is contrary to this belief...so i guess i better start putting the effort in. I've noticed that guys these days don't put enough effort either...
 
The couple i keep harping on about where he chased her for yonks...my girlfriend said that his persistance came to a point where one day she thought "I dont know what id do if i didnt have that attention anymore...so i gave him a chance..." And they have been together for 5 years...he was chasing her for 6 years.
 
*got interrupted at this point*

Now, when i say persistance, im not referring to the in-your-face type of harassment thats full on! Im talking about just being there consistantly, as a friend, but the girl is aware that u do like her in "that" way...subtleness...

*after i came back from lunch*

I think that even a stubborn girl, like myself will crack one day (sooner or later) if a guy was persistant with me!

I noticed that this day and age (maybe its our pickiness)...but we give up too easy - we are by no means persistant! Im guilty of it...if it gets tough or i cant be fudged, i just think to myself "heh...moving right along...exit door to my left!"

Acknowledgment to what i want: I'm looking for good company...someone who is interesting to talk to...the type of person that u can sit at a cafe and talk to for ages on things that u wouldnt normally fathom...thats what i currently want. (This is not a description of a boyfriend...just someone...)

Motivation is the key: I dont think im achieving many successes in my life, currently. There is only one person to blame for this. I dont have that go-getter spirit that most successful people have. I no longer care to compete and i only envision to compete with myself. So that i can better my stance in the world, but not really to be better than anyone in particular. Im not really motivated to do much now...so i blame myself.

M told me about a show on Compass that was a 3 part series in which she watched. The researcher presented the stats he found and it was like 9 out of 10 people who were successful in achieving what they wanted...those 9 people all said that they were motivated to "show someone...blah blah blah"...They wanted to prove someone else wrong, prove to someone else that they were better, to get revenge...

I dont have that urge.

I really do agree that motivation is the biggest key in success...i just dont have much if any at the moment...any minute amount of motivation that i previously had...i think has fizzled out about a week ago.

I dont even feel bad that im not motivated to do much these days...is that wrong?

M was talking about how she got to the platform of the train station and wasnt even sure if she whipped out her train ticket from her wallet, put it in the machine, took it back and put it into her wallet...before she got onto the platform. Although, she must have otherwise how could she have gotten in???

I feel like a lot of things i do these days is quite robotic - mechanical.

I feel like i have been programmed to do everything that i do every day of the week, including the weekends. My weekends are organised, just like my week days...

I need to shake things up...