I'm currently sitting at home watching Chicago and its funny, i dont remember it being that interesting when i watched it in the cinemas.
Was it because i didnt understand the satire?
It was only 4 years ago...
And yet, i have changed and grown and matured in the last year.
Well, i hope i have...i feel like i have...
On the side of contradiction, i feel quite immature too. I feel quite young and still like a teen in some ways. People tell me that its good to feel young, but i feel old and act young...go figure. I'm tired but still try to stay up. No, thats wrong, i have given up on staying up late.
For instance, im suppose to be at a party right now, but i went at 5:30pm...ate dinner and then left to go home to catch Michael Buble in concert in LA on the ABC. I didnt even have a drink...even though i made punch again...
2006 pushed me to face the fact that he no longer loved me and that it was over. I put my efforts towards work, my family, my friends and planning for my trip.
I then got a mortgage.
And paid for my trip.
I found a crush...he's cute...and mysterious...not sure if i will do anything about it...but who knows what 2007 will bring???
I also had to realise that my company didnt value me as much as i believed, and face up to the fact that they were looking out for themselves.
My attitude has changed...I'm impatient and still temperamental...but i am actively trying to brush insignificant issues aside. I'm still working on being happier with myself...its a tough one.
So, tomorrow...the first day of 2007...i will wake up and go for a run...take in some fresh air...and think about the plan of attack for the new year.
From me to you...I hope that the new year brings you joy, love, and laughter.
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Movie Reviews...
Volver:
E and i went in to the cinema not knowing much about this movie...well E only knew that Penelope Cruz was in it...while i knew only a smidge more. That it is a movie about 3 women in the same family, a secret from the past that Penelope's character was trying to run away from but catches up with her...and that was pretty much it on my side of the fence.
I wanted to watch it because i was given a discount voucher by Palace and the movie had rave reviews.
The various synopsis I read about the movie did not do it justice.
Almodovar is a genious. I dont even know Spanish, but the movie translates so well, even to me a simple minded girl from the Sydney burbs. Its intense and sincere. There is an intelligent sense of mystery and discovery and when all is revealed, it is obvious when you think about it...but it was subtle throughout the movie...and the intrigue kept you captivated all the way through the 150 or so minutes of screen time.
It has its moments where you laugh and cry. Its quite heart warming, actually. And i appreciate that Almodovar made the movie with the intention of focusing on women and their strength. Men do not play any major roles in this flick.
If you want to go watch a foreign movie, i highly recommend Volver. If you dont know what Volver means in Spanish, i can tell you now that its better not to know before you watch it...I think it helped with the suprises that i forgot what Volver meant in Spanish.
Happy Feet:
I went to watch Happy Feet yesterday at Greater Union Gold Class, because my alterna-date and i really wanted to watch this cartoon without the interruption of a cinema filled with a dozen too many little kiddies.
It was brilliant that i was sent some free upgrade passes for this, so that we could try out the new Gold Class seats and the service they are suppose to provide.
The plush reclining chairs are soo comfy, i didnt really want to leave it when the movie finished...the food that you order while you wait in their bar/waiting area is served to you when you tell them to, for when you are in the cinema watching the movie.
I highly recommend this for a special date...its really impressive, but advise the girl you are with to avoid wearing a mini skirt like i did...exposed legs get really cold after like 20 minutes sitting in the cinemas.
Happy Feet is one of the most joyest cartoons i have seen in a while...which will be surpassed shortly with Shrek 3 and Happily Never After (from the makers of Shrek and Shrek 2)...but never mind that for now.
I felt like tap dancing throughout this movie as much as Mumble. Baby Mumble is sooo cute!!! Tap dancing for him is an expression of joy, love, and happiness. I wish every problem could be solved through song and dance. There is so much singing, so much music, so much joy!
I initially thought that there wasnt a really point to this cartoon and then i saw the making of it and i knew i had to watch it. There is a point, i dont like the way it sort of wraps up at the end as quickly as it does...because it makes you feel as though they just tacked it at the end to make a point for the sake of it. But its a valid point, the delivery was just not as poignant as it could have been.
Now that aside, i was boogeying throughout the flick in my very own comfy recliner, especially to "boogey-wonderland" when Gloria (Brittany Murphy) was belting the song out. It is another "heart felt" cartoon...and so it should be...i mean it is directed at kids afterall, with some adult humour thrown in so that the parents who take their children dont get completely bored! Thats the sophistication of cartoon movies today.
Its a really beautiful, cute flick that as an adult, i really enjoyed. I have mentioned the word JOY a number of times about this movie, because if i had to sum it up in a word, i would say JOY fits perfectly.
***
I have a DVD copy of The Black Dahlia and Babel...so i will be watching both shortly...I asked my alterna-date to find The pursuit of happyness...I really need a BIG crying session and this movie moved me so much when i caught the preview...i was already reduced to tears.
I finished the "Full House" series in 2 days. I love the way the Koreans tie up their movies or their soap operas, so that there are no empty gaps. I mean, those movies or soap operas which leave you hanging are so cruel. You've been following for so long and then the series ends. You're left wondering wtf? What happens to so&so now? But Full House finished with no important questions about the main characters unanswered.
There has been a lot of watching...next week i think i should start working...
=(
E and i went in to the cinema not knowing much about this movie...well E only knew that Penelope Cruz was in it...while i knew only a smidge more. That it is a movie about 3 women in the same family, a secret from the past that Penelope's character was trying to run away from but catches up with her...and that was pretty much it on my side of the fence.
I wanted to watch it because i was given a discount voucher by Palace and the movie had rave reviews.
The various synopsis I read about the movie did not do it justice.
Almodovar is a genious. I dont even know Spanish, but the movie translates so well, even to me a simple minded girl from the Sydney burbs. Its intense and sincere. There is an intelligent sense of mystery and discovery and when all is revealed, it is obvious when you think about it...but it was subtle throughout the movie...and the intrigue kept you captivated all the way through the 150 or so minutes of screen time.
It has its moments where you laugh and cry. Its quite heart warming, actually. And i appreciate that Almodovar made the movie with the intention of focusing on women and their strength. Men do not play any major roles in this flick.
If you want to go watch a foreign movie, i highly recommend Volver. If you dont know what Volver means in Spanish, i can tell you now that its better not to know before you watch it...I think it helped with the suprises that i forgot what Volver meant in Spanish.
Happy Feet:
I went to watch Happy Feet yesterday at Greater Union Gold Class, because my alterna-date and i really wanted to watch this cartoon without the interruption of a cinema filled with a dozen too many little kiddies.
It was brilliant that i was sent some free upgrade passes for this, so that we could try out the new Gold Class seats and the service they are suppose to provide.
The plush reclining chairs are soo comfy, i didnt really want to leave it when the movie finished...the food that you order while you wait in their bar/waiting area is served to you when you tell them to, for when you are in the cinema watching the movie.
I highly recommend this for a special date...its really impressive, but advise the girl you are with to avoid wearing a mini skirt like i did...exposed legs get really cold after like 20 minutes sitting in the cinemas.
Happy Feet is one of the most joyest cartoons i have seen in a while...which will be surpassed shortly with Shrek 3 and Happily Never After (from the makers of Shrek and Shrek 2)...but never mind that for now.
I felt like tap dancing throughout this movie as much as Mumble. Baby Mumble is sooo cute!!! Tap dancing for him is an expression of joy, love, and happiness. I wish every problem could be solved through song and dance. There is so much singing, so much music, so much joy!
I initially thought that there wasnt a really point to this cartoon and then i saw the making of it and i knew i had to watch it. There is a point, i dont like the way it sort of wraps up at the end as quickly as it does...because it makes you feel as though they just tacked it at the end to make a point for the sake of it. But its a valid point, the delivery was just not as poignant as it could have been.
Now that aside, i was boogeying throughout the flick in my very own comfy recliner, especially to "boogey-wonderland" when Gloria (Brittany Murphy) was belting the song out. It is another "heart felt" cartoon...and so it should be...i mean it is directed at kids afterall, with some adult humour thrown in so that the parents who take their children dont get completely bored! Thats the sophistication of cartoon movies today.
Its a really beautiful, cute flick that as an adult, i really enjoyed. I have mentioned the word JOY a number of times about this movie, because if i had to sum it up in a word, i would say JOY fits perfectly.
I have a DVD copy of The Black Dahlia and Babel...so i will be watching both shortly...I asked my alterna-date to find The pursuit of happyness...I really need a BIG crying session and this movie moved me so much when i caught the preview...i was already reduced to tears.
I finished the "Full House" series in 2 days. I love the way the Koreans tie up their movies or their soap operas, so that there are no empty gaps. I mean, those movies or soap operas which leave you hanging are so cruel. You've been following for so long and then the series ends. You're left wondering wtf? What happens to so&so now? But Full House finished with no important questions about the main characters unanswered.
There has been a lot of watching...next week i think i should start working...
=(
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Christmas 2006
I'm not really into Christmas anymore...
I buy gifts for the girls and thats about it. I dont go and see people or visit relatives. I stopped giving out cards to my friends a few years ago. I've sort of grown out from it. And since im not religious, its not a religious occasion to me.
If it wasnt for the fact that the people at work were more into the celebrations, i wouldnt even bother with the Chris Kringle i get included in. And i think that is the only way i really celebrate it in any shape or form.
So its actually funny that i have received a variety of gifts from people around me.
For Chris Kringle i got a box of choccies, from a workmate i got a bottle of red from Chile, a friend brought back a box of truffles straight from San Churros in Melbourne. My sister in law has given me a t-shirt, and i know this because my niece came running in with the presents and told me what her mother wrapped up for me! *LoL* I also received a pj set from a girlfriend as a thank you/christmas present. Work gave me a Myer voucher.
All i really look forward to during this holiday season, is the holiday - my break from work!
Funny how this year i had to bring work home!
=P
Guess the plan to wipe it all from my memory isnt going to work.
Its only been 1 day and i have learnt how to ask in French what occupation a person does and i can respond that i am an architect...shame that im not an architect! hehe...i know how to ask if a person is married, and i know how to respond that i am single...good question if you are looking for a spunkhy French hubby, non? "Vous etes marie? Non, je suis celibataire."
I also know how to interrupt people while they are speaking, excuse myself and tell them that i am running late. I think this is a good one to remember..."Excusez-moi, je suis en retard!"
My sister in law gave me her "Full House" box set of dvds to borrow...because she wants everyone to be as hooked as she is. I started yesterday from 10:30am and i didnt stop except to eat dinner at 6pm. And when i got home i continued to watch it. Its Korean and the funny thing is that if you watch it a while, you start thinking that you understand what they are saying...i watched an episode without the english subtitles...and i felt that i comprehended...I know i didnt really...but it didnt even occur to me that the subtitles were missing until much later on.
So, im learning French, watching a Korean soap opera, catching a Spanish flick today with E, its surprising what other language i can integrate into my brain?
I think i am babbling...i need to hit the gym before E picks me up to go watch Volver.
The point of this blog was actually to wish everyone well...
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, EVEN THOSE WHO DO NOT CELEBRATE THIS OCCASION!
I buy gifts for the girls and thats about it. I dont go and see people or visit relatives. I stopped giving out cards to my friends a few years ago. I've sort of grown out from it. And since im not religious, its not a religious occasion to me.
If it wasnt for the fact that the people at work were more into the celebrations, i wouldnt even bother with the Chris Kringle i get included in. And i think that is the only way i really celebrate it in any shape or form.
So its actually funny that i have received a variety of gifts from people around me.
For Chris Kringle i got a box of choccies, from a workmate i got a bottle of red from Chile, a friend brought back a box of truffles straight from San Churros in Melbourne. My sister in law has given me a t-shirt, and i know this because my niece came running in with the presents and told me what her mother wrapped up for me! *LoL* I also received a pj set from a girlfriend as a thank you/christmas present. Work gave me a Myer voucher.
All i really look forward to during this holiday season, is the holiday - my break from work!
Funny how this year i had to bring work home!
=P
Guess the plan to wipe it all from my memory isnt going to work.
Its only been 1 day and i have learnt how to ask in French what occupation a person does and i can respond that i am an architect...shame that im not an architect! hehe...i know how to ask if a person is married, and i know how to respond that i am single...good question if you are looking for a spunkhy French hubby, non? "Vous etes marie? Non, je suis celibataire."
I also know how to interrupt people while they are speaking, excuse myself and tell them that i am running late. I think this is a good one to remember..."Excusez-moi, je suis en retard!"
My sister in law gave me her "Full House" box set of dvds to borrow...because she wants everyone to be as hooked as she is. I started yesterday from 10:30am and i didnt stop except to eat dinner at 6pm. And when i got home i continued to watch it. Its Korean and the funny thing is that if you watch it a while, you start thinking that you understand what they are saying...i watched an episode without the english subtitles...and i felt that i comprehended...I know i didnt really...but it didnt even occur to me that the subtitles were missing until much later on.
So, im learning French, watching a Korean soap opera, catching a Spanish flick today with E, its surprising what other language i can integrate into my brain?
I think i am babbling...i need to hit the gym before E picks me up to go watch Volver.
The point of this blog was actually to wish everyone well...
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, EVEN THOSE WHO DO NOT CELEBRATE THIS OCCASION!
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Drinking a glass of Non Vintage - Sparkling Rose...
at 9:30am is not a good way to start the day when you have an empty stomach!
We had a team breakfast and Chris Kringle this morning...
I had two sips of the rose and it went straight to my head. I turned left to talk to my workmate and my head spun. I can still feel it now. Luckily it was warm, i mean if it was chilled then i would have drank all of it and i would be feeling worse for wear.
The thing is, thats only the start of my day. I have a HUGE company Christmas party starting from 1pm today and ending...well it doesnt end!
The alcohol will be free flowing and 2 managers (client side - who are leaving) couldnt recruit enough people to attend their going away shindig, and asked whether they could combine with our Christmas party...because all the people they invited declined their invite saying they were coming to the said company Christmas party!!!
It is going to be at Bodhi Restaurant and Bar on College Street...vegetarian yum cha and an open bar doesnt seem safe to me...hopefully there will be enough carbs to keep most people sober until they ride the bucking bull. And yes, you heard my correctly...the person who organised our party has arranged for a bucking bull to be one of the activities we do for this afternoon.
There will also be a magician on hand, a caricature artist, and of course Karaoke for the drunken who will be hanging around late into the evening.
The company will actually meet at 1pm, while guests were invited to arrive at 2pm. The reason why we are all meeting at 1pm is so that we can have our team overview for the year and what is in for us in 2007. The boss tends to give the spill about how fabulous we performed in the year and he goes around and sing praises about each individual. And at the end of the speech I am hoping that we get an envelope with a gift voucher tucked inside. Thats what we got last year, but since the company doubled in size this year...i dont know if they will be kind enough to give Xmas pressies...or just give us a pat on the back...(considering how they rewarded me when i asked for a raise).
=P
Anyhoo...there is a lot of things that i will need to tidy up. Only 1.5 hours and i head off to more drinking and basically ride off today.
*RofL*
I am thankful for these small favours.
We had a team breakfast and Chris Kringle this morning...
I had two sips of the rose and it went straight to my head. I turned left to talk to my workmate and my head spun. I can still feel it now. Luckily it was warm, i mean if it was chilled then i would have drank all of it and i would be feeling worse for wear.
The thing is, thats only the start of my day. I have a HUGE company Christmas party starting from 1pm today and ending...well it doesnt end!
The alcohol will be free flowing and 2 managers (client side - who are leaving) couldnt recruit enough people to attend their going away shindig, and asked whether they could combine with our Christmas party...because all the people they invited declined their invite saying they were coming to the said company Christmas party!!!
It is going to be at Bodhi Restaurant and Bar on College Street...vegetarian yum cha and an open bar doesnt seem safe to me...hopefully there will be enough carbs to keep most people sober until they ride the bucking bull. And yes, you heard my correctly...the person who organised our party has arranged for a bucking bull to be one of the activities we do for this afternoon.
There will also be a magician on hand, a caricature artist, and of course Karaoke for the drunken who will be hanging around late into the evening.
The company will actually meet at 1pm, while guests were invited to arrive at 2pm. The reason why we are all meeting at 1pm is so that we can have our team overview for the year and what is in for us in 2007. The boss tends to give the spill about how fabulous we performed in the year and he goes around and sing praises about each individual. And at the end of the speech I am hoping that we get an envelope with a gift voucher tucked inside. Thats what we got last year, but since the company doubled in size this year...i dont know if they will be kind enough to give Xmas pressies...or just give us a pat on the back...(considering how they rewarded me when i asked for a raise).
=P
Anyhoo...there is a lot of things that i will need to tidy up. Only 1.5 hours and i head off to more drinking and basically ride off today.
*RofL*
I am thankful for these small favours.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Things to do, things to see...
I have 2 weeks of embargo time (forced leave).
So, what do i plan to do, since i wont be going away this year?
I will be learning the f0llowing:
* Revise the PMBOK to finish my assignment.
* Read the Corporate Finance books my line manager, ever so kindly (insert sarcasm) left on my desk for me to borrow.
* Learn French for Conversation via CD and booklet i had bought the other day.
I want to see the following:
* Marie Antoinette
* Happy Feet
* Volver
* The Black Dahlia
* Goddess: Divine Energy @ AGNSW
I will be doing the following:
* Running every morning, at least 5 days of the week for the next two weeks.
* Staying at home and not go shopping! Need. To. Save. Money.
* Find a frame for the painting i had purchased at Art on the Rocks, earlier this year.
* Sleep 8 hours a night, avoid late nights where possible.
* Stay at home on NYE. I want to feel as low as i did those years where i sat at home watching the fireworks on tv all by myself. It may sound really sad to you, and it is, but i need this to feel grounded. It makes me realise and decide on what i should do the year ahead in order to love and appreciate myself.
So, what do i plan to do, since i wont be going away this year?
I will be learning the f0llowing:
* Revise the PMBOK to finish my assignment.
* Read the Corporate Finance books my line manager, ever so kindly (insert sarcasm) left on my desk for me to borrow.
* Learn French for Conversation via CD and booklet i had bought the other day.
I want to see the following:
* Marie Antoinette
* Happy Feet
* Volver
* The Black Dahlia
* Goddess: Divine Energy @ AGNSW
I will be doing the following:
* Running every morning, at least 5 days of the week for the next two weeks.
* Staying at home and not go shopping! Need. To. Save. Money.
* Find a frame for the painting i had purchased at Art on the Rocks, earlier this year.
* Sleep 8 hours a night, avoid late nights where possible.
* Stay at home on NYE. I want to feel as low as i did those years where i sat at home watching the fireworks on tv all by myself. It may sound really sad to you, and it is, but i need this to feel grounded. It makes me realise and decide on what i should do the year ahead in order to love and appreciate myself.
P-plater again...
I'm driving a different car now, inherited from my older brother because he is getting a company car.
Its a compact hatchback 1.5 y/o, but its bigger than ol' bluey (my echo)...well it feels bigger...i sit down behind the wheel and it feels like it has swallowed me whole...which isnt a bad thing if you want to feel petite like a size 6 when you are really bigger.
I've had a license to drive since i was 16...so i have been driving for 10 years almost, and yet place me in a different car and i feel like im a teen, fresh walking out from RTA with my newly printed license in hand. I'm not saying that i am the best driver. Obviously i'm not, since im freaking out about driving another "just as" compact car. But im not horrible at driving either. I'm somewhere in the middle, on the better side of the scale.
My echo was 6 years old...actually almost 7 years old. The engine started to sound funny even though it was serviced on a regular basis. It was my car, so i could handle it with all its kinks, but if another driver went behind the wheel, they would think that its quirks were huge faults.
It was time to get a new car...but at the same time, i didnt really want to let go. I thought about it...i've bought a house, why not buy a car too. Everyone is financing these days, and i could put the money i got from selling the blue one back into a much needed newer model. Or maybe i could find a 2nd hand car that is in good condition for the price of my bluey...
Then my brother gave me an option. Keep on paying the finance of his car and keep it as mine. Put the money from bluey into this one and lower the interest repayments as well as the duration of the financing.
So, thats what i did.
Driving to the trainstation got me freaking out. I started panicking about whether i would be able to reverse park in this car. I'm sooo stupid sometimes. I mean the car is just another small car, it isnt big like the merc i had to drive on my brother's wedding night...that was a horrible evening...
I had been awake since 5am on his wedding day, because i was also a bridesmaid and had to get my make up and hair done. I was in heels all day and by the time the wedding reception had ended after midnight, we realised that my brother and father were both sh!tfaced and couldnt drive. I was the only one who could drive the bloody merc E-class his boss let him borrow straight from the showroom floor. I was so scared i think i was driving like at 40kph...fortunately it was late at night?
So, im at the parking lot by the trainstation and i park the car and everything is fine. I think to myself, "why was i freaking out for?"
I dont know why. I'm just pathetic like that sometimes. But it made me realise that at least there are some things in this world that still gives me a rush. Whether it is an anxiety attack or a stress attack...they arent the best feelings in the world, but at least i am still feeling something.
I have been stressed about the car, whether i would be able to sell it at a reasonable price or not...or perhaps a trade-in would be better...bluey's registration and insurance would be up early in January 07, so i had to act quick...then i had my review at work and my asking for a raise didnt work out the way i wanted it to...it has been a stressful week and a half. More stressful than buying a house.
And so i realised another thing...work related...loyalty means nothing no matter how big or small a company is. At the end of the day, the company will look at what is best for them, not you. Most dont care about staff retention even though they do a song and dance about it. I've seen it in a big company, in a medium sized company and now, even in a small company - which i didnt think i would ever witness.
I always had this idealism that with smaller companies, because they got to know their employees better than bigger companies, that it would be like a family...its that way for K. There is only 10 people in her company and they support eachother as a family does, but they work for the government...i dont know if that makes a difference.
I believed that my company was in touch with their staff and really wanted to retain us. We started with about 10 people when i first began 1.5 years ago...i felt valued, i felt like a member of their team/family, i felt like they acknowledged that i was doing my part and i was doing it well...i felt like they didnt want to lose me, not now, not ever.
But after their final offer (which didnt move a millimeter from their first, by the way), i realise where i stand with them.
They initially gave the impression that i was going to be offered alot. As i was informed that there was a delay in offering me my package as they were considering the tax benefits for both parties. Then i was given the offer and the impression that they could not afford to give me so much - i was actually asking for below but close to market value btw. They took what i asked for and then came back to me 2 days later and advised me that what they were offering was more than enough for my 1.5 years of experience. Meanwhile i have 3 years experience...so they managed to make me feel de-valued and de-skilled and that my loyalty meant nothing to them, in a matter of like 3 days. But they kept harping on about staff retention.
You know, at the end of the day...even if they offered me $500 more on my package - i would have felt better about the way things turned out. I would have felt as though my line manager had fought my argument for me to my MD and that they considered that i was unhappy and they tried to make things better so that they could retain me...as they constantly remind me that they really believe in staff retention, and especially retaining me!
Lesson learnt.
Its a compact hatchback 1.5 y/o, but its bigger than ol' bluey (my echo)...well it feels bigger...i sit down behind the wheel and it feels like it has swallowed me whole...which isnt a bad thing if you want to feel petite like a size 6 when you are really bigger.
I've had a license to drive since i was 16...so i have been driving for 10 years almost, and yet place me in a different car and i feel like im a teen, fresh walking out from RTA with my newly printed license in hand. I'm not saying that i am the best driver. Obviously i'm not, since im freaking out about driving another "just as" compact car. But im not horrible at driving either. I'm somewhere in the middle, on the better side of the scale.
My echo was 6 years old...actually almost 7 years old. The engine started to sound funny even though it was serviced on a regular basis. It was my car, so i could handle it with all its kinks, but if another driver went behind the wheel, they would think that its quirks were huge faults.
It was time to get a new car...but at the same time, i didnt really want to let go. I thought about it...i've bought a house, why not buy a car too. Everyone is financing these days, and i could put the money i got from selling the blue one back into a much needed newer model. Or maybe i could find a 2nd hand car that is in good condition for the price of my bluey...
Then my brother gave me an option. Keep on paying the finance of his car and keep it as mine. Put the money from bluey into this one and lower the interest repayments as well as the duration of the financing.
So, thats what i did.
Driving to the trainstation got me freaking out. I started panicking about whether i would be able to reverse park in this car. I'm sooo stupid sometimes. I mean the car is just another small car, it isnt big like the merc i had to drive on my brother's wedding night...that was a horrible evening...
I had been awake since 5am on his wedding day, because i was also a bridesmaid and had to get my make up and hair done. I was in heels all day and by the time the wedding reception had ended after midnight, we realised that my brother and father were both sh!tfaced and couldnt drive. I was the only one who could drive the bloody merc E-class his boss let him borrow straight from the showroom floor. I was so scared i think i was driving like at 40kph...fortunately it was late at night?
So, im at the parking lot by the trainstation and i park the car and everything is fine. I think to myself, "why was i freaking out for?"
I dont know why. I'm just pathetic like that sometimes. But it made me realise that at least there are some things in this world that still gives me a rush. Whether it is an anxiety attack or a stress attack...they arent the best feelings in the world, but at least i am still feeling something.
I have been stressed about the car, whether i would be able to sell it at a reasonable price or not...or perhaps a trade-in would be better...bluey's registration and insurance would be up early in January 07, so i had to act quick...then i had my review at work and my asking for a raise didnt work out the way i wanted it to...it has been a stressful week and a half. More stressful than buying a house.
And so i realised another thing...work related...loyalty means nothing no matter how big or small a company is. At the end of the day, the company will look at what is best for them, not you. Most dont care about staff retention even though they do a song and dance about it. I've seen it in a big company, in a medium sized company and now, even in a small company - which i didnt think i would ever witness.
I always had this idealism that with smaller companies, because they got to know their employees better than bigger companies, that it would be like a family...its that way for K. There is only 10 people in her company and they support eachother as a family does, but they work for the government...i dont know if that makes a difference.
I believed that my company was in touch with their staff and really wanted to retain us. We started with about 10 people when i first began 1.5 years ago...i felt valued, i felt like a member of their team/family, i felt like they acknowledged that i was doing my part and i was doing it well...i felt like they didnt want to lose me, not now, not ever.
But after their final offer (which didnt move a millimeter from their first, by the way), i realise where i stand with them.
They initially gave the impression that i was going to be offered alot. As i was informed that there was a delay in offering me my package as they were considering the tax benefits for both parties. Then i was given the offer and the impression that they could not afford to give me so much - i was actually asking for below but close to market value btw. They took what i asked for and then came back to me 2 days later and advised me that what they were offering was more than enough for my 1.5 years of experience. Meanwhile i have 3 years experience...so they managed to make me feel de-valued and de-skilled and that my loyalty meant nothing to them, in a matter of like 3 days. But they kept harping on about staff retention.
You know, at the end of the day...even if they offered me $500 more on my package - i would have felt better about the way things turned out. I would have felt as though my line manager had fought my argument for me to my MD and that they considered that i was unhappy and they tried to make things better so that they could retain me...as they constantly remind me that they really believe in staff retention, and especially retaining me!
Lesson learnt.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Cracks...
If you break a vase...
Then glue it back together...
The cracks will still be visible.
If you tell me that you agree that i am an asset. That i am the only one in the team who has multiple skills across all the programs and applications. That "my reputation proceeds me"...that good employees dont have to look for work, work looks for them and you think that i epitomise this adage.
If you tell me that I have received glowing reports from all of the PMs i have worked with. That from what you can see, i have represented the company in a brilliant light. That I am well regarded by our clients and that I have given the company a large dose of goodwill - the type of goodwill money cant buy but is developed by an employee's relationship with the client.
If you tell me that you think i will be successful...that i will reach the goal of being a Snr PM or Programme Mgr within 3 years - and that you believe i will do this with success...
Then why insult me by offering me less than someone who started just 3 months ago?
I'm not saying that this someone doesnt deserve what they were offered, but i should be offered at worse, the same as what you have offered them and preferrably more, as i deserve it. And you agreed that i deserved more.
But you offered me much less than what you had offered them.
All this does is indicate to me that you do not value me as i had thought you did, as you have tried to have me believe.
You are treating me as a liability. Not as an asset, as you proclaim.
One of the most horrible things you can do to an employee is make them feel under appreciated, under valued, and that they gave you their all for no reason but to get ripped off.
I know for a fact that you are lying to me.
I am really disappointed.
No matter what your counter offer is now, you can not erase the insult you have already inflicted. There is no way of making the cracks disappear.
Then glue it back together...
The cracks will still be visible.
If you tell me that you agree that i am an asset. That i am the only one in the team who has multiple skills across all the programs and applications. That "my reputation proceeds me"...that good employees dont have to look for work, work looks for them and you think that i epitomise this adage.
If you tell me that I have received glowing reports from all of the PMs i have worked with. That from what you can see, i have represented the company in a brilliant light. That I am well regarded by our clients and that I have given the company a large dose of goodwill - the type of goodwill money cant buy but is developed by an employee's relationship with the client.
If you tell me that you think i will be successful...that i will reach the goal of being a Snr PM or Programme Mgr within 3 years - and that you believe i will do this with success...
Then why insult me by offering me less than someone who started just 3 months ago?
I'm not saying that this someone doesnt deserve what they were offered, but i should be offered at worse, the same as what you have offered them and preferrably more, as i deserve it. And you agreed that i deserved more.
But you offered me much less than what you had offered them.
All this does is indicate to me that you do not value me as i had thought you did, as you have tried to have me believe.
You are treating me as a liability. Not as an asset, as you proclaim.
One of the most horrible things you can do to an employee is make them feel under appreciated, under valued, and that they gave you their all for no reason but to get ripped off.
I know for a fact that you are lying to me.
I am really disappointed.
No matter what your counter offer is now, you can not erase the insult you have already inflicted. There is no way of making the cracks disappear.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Marie Antoinette by Sofia Coppola
I saw the preview of this movie when i went to watch another at Palace Cinemas about 6 months ago (i think it was at Palace...and i think it was 6 months ago).
It was colourful...it was vivid...it was extraordinary and filled with so much texture. And the music was so vibrant...i felt like rocking to it.
I tend to like movies that are off the beaten track. Movies that are different. Which is probably why i would rather go watch a movie that has come back with controversial reviews stating that the movie is violent and offensive, or that the movie portrays things "realistically". Movies that are black.
It was quite disgusting, but i liked watching Irreversible.
But on the flip side, i am a romantic comedy junkie and my silly favs are: She's all that, Ever After, Head over heels, 10 things i hate about you, and the like.
Marie Antoinette will be different. To me, i think it will appear like a burst of colour. It will be enticing. I quite like Kirsten Dunst too. I dont know why, but i do.
I watched the Virgin Suicides on SBS, Saturday night. I didnt have anything to do and it was on after Iron Chef (America) and RockWiz by Request. Kirsten Dunst was in that one too. This is also a movie that i enjoyed. Its a story of 5 sisters of one family all committing suicide.
Virgin Suicides is also a Coppola movie. I think it was her first. Which probably explains why i enjoyed it so. I also liked watching Lost in Translation, another Coppola flick. So, i expect that i will love Marie Antoinette.
I guess i will have to wait until it comes out on Boxing Day to watch it. I realised that i missed out on the premiere this Thursday at Palace. *bugger*
It was colourful...it was vivid...it was extraordinary and filled with so much texture. And the music was so vibrant...i felt like rocking to it.
I tend to like movies that are off the beaten track. Movies that are different. Which is probably why i would rather go watch a movie that has come back with controversial reviews stating that the movie is violent and offensive, or that the movie portrays things "realistically". Movies that are black.
It was quite disgusting, but i liked watching Irreversible.
But on the flip side, i am a romantic comedy junkie and my silly favs are: She's all that, Ever After, Head over heels, 10 things i hate about you, and the like.
Marie Antoinette will be different. To me, i think it will appear like a burst of colour. It will be enticing. I quite like Kirsten Dunst too. I dont know why, but i do.
I watched the Virgin Suicides on SBS, Saturday night. I didnt have anything to do and it was on after Iron Chef (America) and RockWiz by Request. Kirsten Dunst was in that one too. This is also a movie that i enjoyed. Its a story of 5 sisters of one family all committing suicide.
Virgin Suicides is also a Coppola movie. I think it was her first. Which probably explains why i enjoyed it so. I also liked watching Lost in Translation, another Coppola flick. So, i expect that i will love Marie Antoinette.
I guess i will have to wait until it comes out on Boxing Day to watch it. I realised that i missed out on the premiere this Thursday at Palace. *bugger*
Run Forrest Run...
When i was a kid and on a plane flying to HK on a holiday with my mother, i happened to be fortunate enough to catch Forrest Gump on the flight.
I really connected to Forrest in terms of the way he felt he was incapable of doing certain things. The day he got up and ran for his life and proved that he could run was the type of days i use to yearn for.
I hated having asthma as a kid.
I couldnt play as much as the kids on the streets or at school.
I always felt limited and above all, i was scared that i would have an attack if i did try to play and end up in the hospital.
I think dealing with asthma has come a long way in 26 years.
I dont think i really "grew out" of it. I think i exercised it out of my system and taught my lungs to breathe properly through aerobic exercising.
But when i was a kid, no one, not even the doctors really informed my parents that i should exercise and keep at it. To train my body to deal with it and that there would be light at the end of the tunnel, that there is hope, a huge hope that i will no longer have to be dependant on Ventolin.
The day i stopped using Ventolin before i started doing any aerobic exercising at the gym, was the day i felt as though i had conquered Everest. It felt as though i had ran a marathon...without the wheezing.
Even though i havent used Ventolin for over 7 years now, i had never actually attempted to run outside for a distance. Remember those Cross Country races at school? I always started the race, but had to pull out because i would have an asthma attack along the way.
I think that fear had gripped me until recently when i had prepared for the JP Morgan run (that race that never happened due to the weather). I started to actually try to run certain distances and found that i could do the distance with a few breaks powerwalking between.
I stopped trying to run the distance when the JP Morgan run got cancelled, but recently attempted to run again - just for fun.
From my house to the local city farm its 4km. So, the total distance there and back is 8km.
My friend and i went on the first attempt and i found that i was completely puffed. We attributed my lost breath to the the dairy i had 2 hours before the run. If i can do the run between my office to Mrs Mac's Chair and back...i should at least be able to do 4km without dying.
I tried the run again yesterday and found that i could do the first 4km easily...the trip home was another thing. But i still managed to finish the 8km under 50 minutes.
While running yesterday, it felt great. I realised that i was achieving something of immense magnitude. Well, for me anyway. I never could see myself run...and here i was...even after breaking my ankle last year.
I may not be Forrest Gump, but i think i have achieved a personal best - from never running and now being able to comfortably trot for 4km.
The trick now is to actually run the whole 8km...and its my challenge now. I want to improve my fitness to be able to do this without puffing out.
I've watched "So you think you can dance" since it started and i am completely hooked. And for some reason, when i watch the partners dance, i feel like dancing too. *LoL* My feet start tapping or i feel like wiggling my bottom and prance around the house.
Depending on how things work out over this holiday, i think i might start taking lessons. I had searched some schools that teach the Lindy Hop (Swing) because i absolutely love the music...but im now thinking that i want to Mambo, Samba and Cha Cha...ahahhahaa...
As for who i want to win the competition...in terms of couples i really like Natalie & Musa, and Ben & Doniella (?). Musa, being an untrained dancer seems to have a natural ability and Natalie really complements him with her technically trained abilities as a dancer. Ben and Doniella are both fabulous dancers and have a hoot every time they dance. Which i think is the only reason why you'd dance - to have fun, to enjoy yourself...its not meant to be a chore. Within these 2 teams, they are really supportive of each respective partner, and i think that shows when they dance.
I actually make my Sunday evenings free so that i can watch this show.
I cant wait until next week's episode!
I really connected to Forrest in terms of the way he felt he was incapable of doing certain things. The day he got up and ran for his life and proved that he could run was the type of days i use to yearn for.
I hated having asthma as a kid.
I couldnt play as much as the kids on the streets or at school.
I always felt limited and above all, i was scared that i would have an attack if i did try to play and end up in the hospital.
I think dealing with asthma has come a long way in 26 years.
I dont think i really "grew out" of it. I think i exercised it out of my system and taught my lungs to breathe properly through aerobic exercising.
But when i was a kid, no one, not even the doctors really informed my parents that i should exercise and keep at it. To train my body to deal with it and that there would be light at the end of the tunnel, that there is hope, a huge hope that i will no longer have to be dependant on Ventolin.
The day i stopped using Ventolin before i started doing any aerobic exercising at the gym, was the day i felt as though i had conquered Everest. It felt as though i had ran a marathon...without the wheezing.
Even though i havent used Ventolin for over 7 years now, i had never actually attempted to run outside for a distance. Remember those Cross Country races at school? I always started the race, but had to pull out because i would have an asthma attack along the way.
I think that fear had gripped me until recently when i had prepared for the JP Morgan run (that race that never happened due to the weather). I started to actually try to run certain distances and found that i could do the distance with a few breaks powerwalking between.
I stopped trying to run the distance when the JP Morgan run got cancelled, but recently attempted to run again - just for fun.
From my house to the local city farm its 4km. So, the total distance there and back is 8km.
My friend and i went on the first attempt and i found that i was completely puffed. We attributed my lost breath to the the dairy i had 2 hours before the run. If i can do the run between my office to Mrs Mac's Chair and back...i should at least be able to do 4km without dying.
I tried the run again yesterday and found that i could do the first 4km easily...the trip home was another thing. But i still managed to finish the 8km under 50 minutes.
While running yesterday, it felt great. I realised that i was achieving something of immense magnitude. Well, for me anyway. I never could see myself run...and here i was...even after breaking my ankle last year.
I may not be Forrest Gump, but i think i have achieved a personal best - from never running and now being able to comfortably trot for 4km.
The trick now is to actually run the whole 8km...and its my challenge now. I want to improve my fitness to be able to do this without puffing out.
I've watched "So you think you can dance" since it started and i am completely hooked. And for some reason, when i watch the partners dance, i feel like dancing too. *LoL* My feet start tapping or i feel like wiggling my bottom and prance around the house.
Depending on how things work out over this holiday, i think i might start taking lessons. I had searched some schools that teach the Lindy Hop (Swing) because i absolutely love the music...but im now thinking that i want to Mambo, Samba and Cha Cha...ahahhahaa...
As for who i want to win the competition...in terms of couples i really like Natalie & Musa, and Ben & Doniella (?). Musa, being an untrained dancer seems to have a natural ability and Natalie really complements him with her technically trained abilities as a dancer. Ben and Doniella are both fabulous dancers and have a hoot every time they dance. Which i think is the only reason why you'd dance - to have fun, to enjoy yourself...its not meant to be a chore. Within these 2 teams, they are really supportive of each respective partner, and i think that shows when they dance.
I actually make my Sunday evenings free so that i can watch this show.
I cant wait until next week's episode!
Friday, December 08, 2006
Musicovery...
A workmate sent me to this link for an interactive web radio.
I have never heard of a RnB song - French style before.
But on this site i am currently listening to the rnb songs and amongst Mariah, En Vogue, TLC, Alicia, Destiny's Child, etc...there is a song listed as "Matt - Petite Fille".
I quite like it! Even though, it does sound a tad cheesy...but since i dont quite understand all the words...its good for now!!!
*LoL*
And it was only an hour ago when i told K that i wanted to go to a book store during lunch to pick up a "Learn French Conversation in 2 weeks" type of a book so that i could learn/refresh French 101 during my 2 week embargo at work during the Xmas/NY break.
***
I was like 27 minutes late waking up this morning. But i managed to still get into work only 15 minutes later than i normally would walk through the door.
Being only that little bit late means i see different people at the trainstation. I saw this couple sitting on the bench. The guy is uber cute. The ultimate type of guy i would be very interested in. The girl is a complete hottie. I can only assume that they are a couple.
The guy after a couple of moments, opens his backpack and presents the girl with a gift. It was something in a lush oriental inspired metallic-beige gift bag with some cherry blossom print on the outside.
I would have personally gushed about the gift bag alone before i realised there was a gift!!! *LoL* But when this girl received the gift bag, she looked as though she was yet given another token from someone in her fanclub...very bored...uninterested...i dont think she even muscled a smile of gratitude.
Yes, i stared...why wouldnt i? I finally found a guy i could perve on, in like yonks...who lives locally...and the gift bag was really nice and i wanted to see what the gift was...but the girl didnt even bother to take it out of the bag. She took a quick peek into the bag and just put the whole gift bag into another bigger bag she was carrying. She didnt smile, nor gush, she didnt give him a hug, nor did she bother to give him a quick peck on the cheek.
I'm shocked by the fact that she was so ungrateful...are you?
***
I have been having vivid weird dreams.
I would wake somewhere between 3-4AM after my body feels like its overheated. And when i try to go back to sleep after kicking all of my blanket off, thats when i dream. These dreams that occur now after going back to sleep, i happen to remember.
The last time i had this type of thing happen, i dreamt my brother and his ex broke up. And yes, it happened, but i didnt know and no one told me that they had broken up. It felt very deja vu-ish. It felt like i was psychic...but i'm not.
Thursday morning...4:30AM...i woke up with a start feeling overheated. Kicked off my blanket, as per usual. Then proceeded to go back to sleep. It was a bit of a struggle, but when i finally did, i started dreaming about a colleague and how she snapped at me.
I actually remember it down to the finer details. She told me to fix up a column in the billing, but that column is a "Comments" column and all the person who was using my spreadsheet had to do was expand the column width to see all the details. But she wanted me to wrap the text or change the whole spreadsheet. Which quite frankly, i think is a dumb thing to ask, but the spreadsheet has many lines of details, expanding it that way, would make it bigger than it is.
So, i calmly ask her what the "Comments" column was required for, to ascertain what the comments i put in there will be used for, as it really is only for my eyes and my managers. Not hers or the other person who is doing the work for her team.
She goes ballistic and very defensive, when i was only asking her a question.
So, i ask her to stop for a moment and take her into a meeting room to discuss this out of earshot of everyone on the floor.
She continues to rant and rave, and i let her. But when she is done i tell her very professionally what i was asking her was very simple. I only wanted to know what the comments were going to be used for. Thats it.
She obviously was embarrassed by the fact that she ranted and raved before she understood what i was even asking.
I then proceeded to advise her as a friend - because in real life we are "friendlier" workmates, that her reaction would not be taken lightly if she had spoken to someone more senior. Just because her current manager thinks that it is an "okay" sort of behaviour (manager is the Devil wears Prada woman - who was made redundant by the way) does not mean any other manager will tolerate it as it is very unprofessional and presents her as a defensive and difficult employee.
That was dream one.
Dream two was actually of my lil brother again. And same deal as in a break up between him and his gf...But this time he was upset because his current gf had broken up with him because her parents didnt want her to see him anymore. The reason why they dont like him is because my family is not as rich as hers. (Obviously she is from a wealthy family).
She is Vietnamese and Vietnamese parents who have money are VERY BIG SNOBS. There are exceptions, but majority are...my Mum is Viet and she believes this to be heavily true in Vietnam and even when those Vietnamese who come to Australia, they dont change and hold on to their snobbery.
I told him to get over it. If a girl really loved you, she wouldnt care what her parents thought. Because she would know you and she isnt a snob like them, she would accept you as you are.
But he was pretty cut up about her.
I havent had a chance to speak with him since the dream...like the last time. But i wouldnt be suprised if this dream was true. I forcast that sooner or later, they will break up. She isnt worth his time. I didnt like her the first time i met her. She just completely turned me off and i didnt even want to make a conversation with her, but then she didnt want to speak to me either...which is a stupid thing to do with your bf's sister who you just met and dont really know well.
Funny thing is, im easy to talk to...if you want to speak to me, i'll chat to you without reservations...but she just wasnt worth my time. Everything about her screamed "me! me! me!" and thats how it pretty much is about her.
Weird how when you get older you can read people so much better with ease. Well, its not weird, but im grateful that reading people is getting easier for me as i age.
I have never heard of a RnB song - French style before.
But on this site i am currently listening to the rnb songs and amongst Mariah, En Vogue, TLC, Alicia, Destiny's Child, etc...there is a song listed as "Matt - Petite Fille".
I quite like it! Even though, it does sound a tad cheesy...but since i dont quite understand all the words...its good for now!!!
*LoL*
And it was only an hour ago when i told K that i wanted to go to a book store during lunch to pick up a "Learn French Conversation in 2 weeks" type of a book so that i could learn/refresh French 101 during my 2 week embargo at work during the Xmas/NY break.
I was like 27 minutes late waking up this morning. But i managed to still get into work only 15 minutes later than i normally would walk through the door.
Being only that little bit late means i see different people at the trainstation. I saw this couple sitting on the bench. The guy is uber cute. The ultimate type of guy i would be very interested in. The girl is a complete hottie. I can only assume that they are a couple.
The guy after a couple of moments, opens his backpack and presents the girl with a gift. It was something in a lush oriental inspired metallic-beige gift bag with some cherry blossom print on the outside.
I would have personally gushed about the gift bag alone before i realised there was a gift!!! *LoL* But when this girl received the gift bag, she looked as though she was yet given another token from someone in her fanclub...very bored...uninterested...i dont think she even muscled a smile of gratitude.
Yes, i stared...why wouldnt i? I finally found a guy i could perve on, in like yonks...who lives locally...and the gift bag was really nice and i wanted to see what the gift was...but the girl didnt even bother to take it out of the bag. She took a quick peek into the bag and just put the whole gift bag into another bigger bag she was carrying. She didnt smile, nor gush, she didnt give him a hug, nor did she bother to give him a quick peck on the cheek.
I'm shocked by the fact that she was so ungrateful...are you?
I have been having vivid weird dreams.
I would wake somewhere between 3-4AM after my body feels like its overheated. And when i try to go back to sleep after kicking all of my blanket off, thats when i dream. These dreams that occur now after going back to sleep, i happen to remember.
The last time i had this type of thing happen, i dreamt my brother and his ex broke up. And yes, it happened, but i didnt know and no one told me that they had broken up. It felt very deja vu-ish. It felt like i was psychic...but i'm not.
Thursday morning...4:30AM...i woke up with a start feeling overheated. Kicked off my blanket, as per usual. Then proceeded to go back to sleep. It was a bit of a struggle, but when i finally did, i started dreaming about a colleague and how she snapped at me.
I actually remember it down to the finer details. She told me to fix up a column in the billing, but that column is a "Comments" column and all the person who was using my spreadsheet had to do was expand the column width to see all the details. But she wanted me to wrap the text or change the whole spreadsheet. Which quite frankly, i think is a dumb thing to ask, but the spreadsheet has many lines of details, expanding it that way, would make it bigger than it is.
So, i calmly ask her what the "Comments" column was required for, to ascertain what the comments i put in there will be used for, as it really is only for my eyes and my managers. Not hers or the other person who is doing the work for her team.
She goes ballistic and very defensive, when i was only asking her a question.
So, i ask her to stop for a moment and take her into a meeting room to discuss this out of earshot of everyone on the floor.
She continues to rant and rave, and i let her. But when she is done i tell her very professionally what i was asking her was very simple. I only wanted to know what the comments were going to be used for. Thats it.
She obviously was embarrassed by the fact that she ranted and raved before she understood what i was even asking.
I then proceeded to advise her as a friend - because in real life we are "friendlier" workmates, that her reaction would not be taken lightly if she had spoken to someone more senior. Just because her current manager thinks that it is an "okay" sort of behaviour (manager is the Devil wears Prada woman - who was made redundant by the way) does not mean any other manager will tolerate it as it is very unprofessional and presents her as a defensive and difficult employee.
That was dream one.
Dream two was actually of my lil brother again. And same deal as in a break up between him and his gf...But this time he was upset because his current gf had broken up with him because her parents didnt want her to see him anymore. The reason why they dont like him is because my family is not as rich as hers. (Obviously she is from a wealthy family).
She is Vietnamese and Vietnamese parents who have money are VERY BIG SNOBS. There are exceptions, but majority are...my Mum is Viet and she believes this to be heavily true in Vietnam and even when those Vietnamese who come to Australia, they dont change and hold on to their snobbery.
I told him to get over it. If a girl really loved you, she wouldnt care what her parents thought. Because she would know you and she isnt a snob like them, she would accept you as you are.
But he was pretty cut up about her.
I havent had a chance to speak with him since the dream...like the last time. But i wouldnt be suprised if this dream was true. I forcast that sooner or later, they will break up. She isnt worth his time. I didnt like her the first time i met her. She just completely turned me off and i didnt even want to make a conversation with her, but then she didnt want to speak to me either...which is a stupid thing to do with your bf's sister who you just met and dont really know well.
Funny thing is, im easy to talk to...if you want to speak to me, i'll chat to you without reservations...but she just wasnt worth my time. Everything about her screamed "me! me! me!" and thats how it pretty much is about her.
Weird how when you get older you can read people so much better with ease. Well, its not weird, but im grateful that reading people is getting easier for me as i age.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
My review...
I had my annual review today.
It went well - in terms of showing off my achievements, how much our clients love me, how much of an asset i am to our company, how much more i will be able to contribute next year.
What didnt go well was when i was asked whether our contractual payrise of 10% was enough?
It isnt for what i do and what i have achieved.
But i have been really relaxed about how much i get paid simply because i didnt have as much of a financial responsibility last year compared to this year. And the fact that my company has paid for all my certifications, the laptop, and mobile helped with my rationalisation of my remuneration last year.
Last year's review i told my manager what i wanted to achieve in 3 years time with the company and in terms of personal skills improvement and career progression.
I have basically fast tracked all items that were mentioned within a year.
I have basically surpassed my expectations as well as his.
Therefore, I believe i should be paid at least in the mid range of market value if not greater, but i will be happier if my base salary meets mid range. I currently sit on the lower echelon. Which means i am being paid below the average. And that was fine...but now that i am certified and have 3 years experience, i believe that i should be able to command more.
I have developed relationships with the clients that no monetary value can place. The clients dont want to lose me. They sort my schedule around amongst themselves so that whomever needs me can have a piece of my time. I dont have to raise a finger, it will all be done for me. I basically say yes or no to whether i want to work on which project.
In terms of revenue for our company, i basically have generated all of my own (worth) this year, soley due to my reputation at being the best and most well rounded in skills for what i do. (I am the only one in my team to know SAP).
And even though i have given my sales pitch in proving how invaluable an investment i am to the company, i feel iffy as to how much of a raise my company will offer. The 10% is guaranteed. Its contractual, and basically if you do your work and do it passable without hiccups - you get your 10%.
My manager said he would think about it.
I guess i will have to sit and wait to see what he comes back with.
It went well - in terms of showing off my achievements, how much our clients love me, how much of an asset i am to our company, how much more i will be able to contribute next year.
What didnt go well was when i was asked whether our contractual payrise of 10% was enough?
It isnt for what i do and what i have achieved.
But i have been really relaxed about how much i get paid simply because i didnt have as much of a financial responsibility last year compared to this year. And the fact that my company has paid for all my certifications, the laptop, and mobile helped with my rationalisation of my remuneration last year.
Last year's review i told my manager what i wanted to achieve in 3 years time with the company and in terms of personal skills improvement and career progression.
I have basically fast tracked all items that were mentioned within a year.
I have basically surpassed my expectations as well as his.
Therefore, I believe i should be paid at least in the mid range of market value if not greater, but i will be happier if my base salary meets mid range. I currently sit on the lower echelon. Which means i am being paid below the average. And that was fine...but now that i am certified and have 3 years experience, i believe that i should be able to command more.
I have developed relationships with the clients that no monetary value can place. The clients dont want to lose me. They sort my schedule around amongst themselves so that whomever needs me can have a piece of my time. I dont have to raise a finger, it will all be done for me. I basically say yes or no to whether i want to work on which project.
In terms of revenue for our company, i basically have generated all of my own (worth) this year, soley due to my reputation at being the best and most well rounded in skills for what i do. (I am the only one in my team to know SAP).
And even though i have given my sales pitch in proving how invaluable an investment i am to the company, i feel iffy as to how much of a raise my company will offer. The 10% is guaranteed. Its contractual, and basically if you do your work and do it passable without hiccups - you get your 10%.
My manager said he would think about it.
I guess i will have to sit and wait to see what he comes back with.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Smart and Casual...
Since when did the attire "Smart Casual" refer to jeans and sneakers?
I have always been under the impression that "Smart Casual" really referred to what you would wear to work in a typical office environment. But for men who wore suits and ties daily, it really meant collared shirt, minus tie and jacket.
Our work function which is about to kick off in 1 hour time has been defined as "Smart Casual" and yet the whole floor that i work in has turned up in jeans and sneakers (jogger like, not designer like).
Only a few managers who had meetings with clients have worn shirts and dress pants. They have proceeded to take off their ties.
I'm not fazed about what i am wearing. I wore a wrap dress and i look like a person who actually had work to do.
What i am fazed about is how laxed the people i work with are. If they were invited to another event, like a birthday, or an engagement party, etc...would they have also worn scruffy jeans and sneakers thinking what would normally be defined as "casual" was "smart casual"???
What they are wearing today is normally reserved for "Casual Friday's"...its never been referred to as "Smart Casual Friday's" has it???
Is this occurrance just in Australia?
Am i wrong to think that "Smart Casual" should be more than jeans and sneakers?
I have always been under the impression that "Smart Casual" really referred to what you would wear to work in a typical office environment. But for men who wore suits and ties daily, it really meant collared shirt, minus tie and jacket.
Our work function which is about to kick off in 1 hour time has been defined as "Smart Casual" and yet the whole floor that i work in has turned up in jeans and sneakers (jogger like, not designer like).
Only a few managers who had meetings with clients have worn shirts and dress pants. They have proceeded to take off their ties.
I'm not fazed about what i am wearing. I wore a wrap dress and i look like a person who actually had work to do.
What i am fazed about is how laxed the people i work with are. If they were invited to another event, like a birthday, or an engagement party, etc...would they have also worn scruffy jeans and sneakers thinking what would normally be defined as "casual" was "smart casual"???
What they are wearing today is normally reserved for "Casual Friday's"...its never been referred to as "Smart Casual Friday's" has it???
Is this occurrance just in Australia?
Am i wrong to think that "Smart Casual" should be more than jeans and sneakers?
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Calm...cool...relaxed...
I am really surprised that everything has come together for me this year.
I am blessed.
I am very lucky, actually.
I am also uttery grateful for the events that have occurred this year as they have unfolded, when they have unfolded.
If he didnt break my heart when he did, i would not have decided definitively that i was going to explore Europe on my own.
Making the decision to go to Europe forced me to save more this year.
Then the opportunity to buy the house came up and with the help of the government, as a first home buyer, things just came together. It was a struggle at the time and being a single buyer it was somewhat tricky.
But since the home has been settled and the fact that i recently paid for my trip in full...things have gone quiet.
Not at all bad.
My finances are in order. I'm going to allow myself to splurge a little this month...it is Christmas after all...but i will start saving again next year...its always smarter to have a little tucked away for a rainy day...and i am thinking about taking mum to SG and KL for Christmas in 2007 after my Europe trip.
Life is good at the moment. I spend more time with "the girls" (my nieces), as well as the girls (friends)...and all the guys. I spend more time at home. I actually want to be at home - relaxing. And i do things on my own - who better to spend time with? I mean, i have to live in this body for the rest of my life.
I am happy. Actually content. I am at ease.
Life can always be improved...but i really dont have the right to complain at this point in time!
So, im just going to party, party, party.
*^_^*
I am blessed.
I am very lucky, actually.
I am also uttery grateful for the events that have occurred this year as they have unfolded, when they have unfolded.
If he didnt break my heart when he did, i would not have decided definitively that i was going to explore Europe on my own.
Making the decision to go to Europe forced me to save more this year.
Then the opportunity to buy the house came up and with the help of the government, as a first home buyer, things just came together. It was a struggle at the time and being a single buyer it was somewhat tricky.
But since the home has been settled and the fact that i recently paid for my trip in full...things have gone quiet.
Not at all bad.
My finances are in order. I'm going to allow myself to splurge a little this month...it is Christmas after all...but i will start saving again next year...its always smarter to have a little tucked away for a rainy day...and i am thinking about taking mum to SG and KL for Christmas in 2007 after my Europe trip.
Life is good at the moment. I spend more time with "the girls" (my nieces), as well as the girls (friends)...and all the guys. I spend more time at home. I actually want to be at home - relaxing. And i do things on my own - who better to spend time with? I mean, i have to live in this body for the rest of my life.
I am happy. Actually content. I am at ease.
Life can always be improved...but i really dont have the right to complain at this point in time!
So, im just going to party, party, party.
*^_^*
Monday, December 04, 2006
Feeling like it was 2001...
I've just spent all this time reviewing a major Business Case and in it are descriptions of network designs, which applications are being migrated, what kind of solution will be implemented in the coding...
Thats only as far as i got.
I also spent 3/4 of the time doing searches online to review all the things i dont remember from the Networking course i did back in Uni. Especially the easy stuff like the 7 layers of the OSI model...quite frankly, i dont recall much of it...i remembered that there were 7 layers and thats about it.
But when i started reading it again, i felt like i was brought back to the lecture theatre listening to Tony "Something" who was this spaced out hippy-like lecturer, but who was way cool and a really understanding person.
Reading the Business Case further, going through the steps of these migrations it hits me!
I'm doing a project like the one i did for my 3rd year final major group project. Something of that scale. I started thinking about how i would code these functions in the program.
*hold up*
Like, wtf? Why am i thinking about programming?
The beauty of all of this...is that i dont have to touch the programming at all!
*phew*
I just need to make sure someone else who knows what they are doing, complete their tasks so that they next person can do their bit...and that the whole project flows as smoothly as possible!!!
*sigh*
Thats only as far as i got.
I also spent 3/4 of the time doing searches online to review all the things i dont remember from the Networking course i did back in Uni. Especially the easy stuff like the 7 layers of the OSI model...quite frankly, i dont recall much of it...i remembered that there were 7 layers and thats about it.
But when i started reading it again, i felt like i was brought back to the lecture theatre listening to Tony "Something" who was this spaced out hippy-like lecturer, but who was way cool and a really understanding person.
Reading the Business Case further, going through the steps of these migrations it hits me!
I'm doing a project like the one i did for my 3rd year final major group project. Something of that scale. I started thinking about how i would code these functions in the program.
*hold up*
Like, wtf? Why am i thinking about programming?
The beauty of all of this...is that i dont have to touch the programming at all!
*phew*
I just need to make sure someone else who knows what they are doing, complete their tasks so that they next person can do their bit...and that the whole project flows as smoothly as possible!!!
*sigh*
My weekend...
*Updated at 11:30AM*
I chopped off 3 inches of my hair on Saturday. About time really. It was getting too long. The fact that i could feel it skimming my lower back while i was sitting down was an indication that it was getting too long. My hairdresser also "texturised" my locks and therefore culled half of its thickness, once again.
The wedding was less tacky than i was anticipating - simply because it was at an Asian seafood restaurant, not because of the couple. But since it is a new restaurant, the decor and the food was pretty fresh and interesting.
The bride's mother made her dress and it was gorgeous. She also made the bridesmaids dress and they looked good too.
I got sat at a table with M & D, whom i affectionately call "Mey-vid" now.
There were some of the brides workmates (3), all caucasians who must have been shell shocked by the food that was on offer, as they didnt try much of it. On our table there were 3 other people and an empty seat. The 3 other people were one of the bridesmaid's sister, her sister's boyfriend, and her fiance.
The fiance actually recognised me from uni. Small world. I later learned more specifically how i knew him from uni...i asked him what year he finished and figured (guessed) that he knew one of my close girlfriends from uni.
Since we had this connection through friends, and he was stuck at a wedding where he didnt know many people, you would think it was natural for him to make conversation with someone he sort of knew by association - moi.
But why is, that if a guy (who is taken) and is talking to a single girl at a wedding, that it is automatically assumed that the single girl is trying to crack on to him???
We are not all desperate women.
And why is it naturally assumed that I AM SINGLE??? Even though i am single, i am not a butt ugly person...i dont think i come off as desperate (i dont feel like i am) and i wasnt even flirting with him. There was a metre gap between us!!! It wasnt like we were sitting next to one another and we were rubbing shoulders!
Why cant they just assume that "my bf" wasnt invited because the bride/groom didnt know about him, or dont know him well enough, or he is away on a business trip...holiday...has another wedding to attend - i mean it is the season!!!
Instead of giving me the benefit of the doubt, his fiancee acted as though i was a predator trying to capture her man. So, she never said hello to me...never gave me a smile, or even a half smile...she didnt make eye contact or try to speak to me at all...quite frankly, even at the end of the night she was still acting like the ice queen from hell.
Meanwhile, all her fiance and i were talking about was her! Thats after the initial discussion around the table about everyone's occupation. We talked about how he met her, how he proposed to her, her favourite song that was being played by the band that night and therefore he should try and find her to dance with her, their current wedding plans: Western style or Traditional Asian style? We talked about how he proposed to her...one knee? M asked if it was a surprise?
And see, thats another thing. He was talking to M too. It wasnt just me all night - but if she was watching...she probably watched him while he spoke to me more often and anyway, since M was with D...M most probably wasnt seen as a threat.
If only she knew, she would feel like a fool for being a bitch to someone when it was all uncalled for. I dont need to say it, because i hope she wasnt worried about him being tempted by me, as there was no temptation to begin with and he absolutely loves her and cherishes her - she'd be a bigger pathetic fool for doubting him.
Overall, my evening was okay - but i was jipped of any wedding cake.
Out of the whole evening, their was a weird moment. Before the evening had progressed to the "Disco Phase" towards the end of the night, he told me that he hoped that i was successful in the future as a Project Manager and that i get everything i want in life - but then he knows that i will get to where i want to be and basically achieve everything i set out to achieve, because he sees it in me.
Now, normally i would just take this vote of confidence as something a close friend is saying to motivate me and make me feel better about myself. But coming from a person that i only just got re-acquainted with by 6 degrees...not quite friends...whom i spent the evening making polite enquiries about his future missus...is pretty odd.
And he said it with a sure amount of conviction. Which leaves me baffled. Its not like what he has said has been keeping me awake and sleepless at night. But when i think back to it, i wonder what he really means by it? Does he know something that i dont know??? Was he just being the nice guy that he is???
He didnt have to say anything nice to me though. I could see a long lost friend wishing me all the best after having a quick catch up conversation - because i would. But i would give a long lost friend a short "well, i should get back. I hope everything goes well with 'insert what they are trying to achieve here', but i know that you dont need it..." sort of sweet sentiment. And my friends are often high achievers...so i know that they dont need me wishing them luck...but just for good measure, i say it!
The ice queen was by his side when he said "bye" and she didnt even look at me, let alone utter a "bye" as a reflex, because her partner said bye to me. So, i just smiled at her and said bye to him and her.
I like moments like that. It confirms that i am a better person than most people out there...well it confirms that i at least have better manners.
And its a worry that she is a doctor. Imagine if she thought her patient was trying to hit on her fiance??? *gasp*
* UPDATE: In my meeting at 9:30AM, my manager sprung on me that i will be getting involved in a PROJECT so that i can MANAGE some in the coming year.
I usually get involved in projects during the implementation phases. So, now he is involving me right from the start, so that i can get my hands dirty.
Joy.
I chopped off 3 inches of my hair on Saturday. About time really. It was getting too long. The fact that i could feel it skimming my lower back while i was sitting down was an indication that it was getting too long. My hairdresser also "texturised" my locks and therefore culled half of its thickness, once again.
The wedding was less tacky than i was anticipating - simply because it was at an Asian seafood restaurant, not because of the couple. But since it is a new restaurant, the decor and the food was pretty fresh and interesting.
The bride's mother made her dress and it was gorgeous. She also made the bridesmaids dress and they looked good too.
I got sat at a table with M & D, whom i affectionately call "Mey-vid" now.
There were some of the brides workmates (3), all caucasians who must have been shell shocked by the food that was on offer, as they didnt try much of it. On our table there were 3 other people and an empty seat. The 3 other people were one of the bridesmaid's sister, her sister's boyfriend, and her fiance.
The fiance actually recognised me from uni. Small world. I later learned more specifically how i knew him from uni...i asked him what year he finished and figured (guessed) that he knew one of my close girlfriends from uni.
Since we had this connection through friends, and he was stuck at a wedding where he didnt know many people, you would think it was natural for him to make conversation with someone he sort of knew by association - moi.
But why is, that if a guy (who is taken) and is talking to a single girl at a wedding, that it is automatically assumed that the single girl is trying to crack on to him???
We are not all desperate women.
And why is it naturally assumed that I AM SINGLE??? Even though i am single, i am not a butt ugly person...i dont think i come off as desperate (i dont feel like i am) and i wasnt even flirting with him. There was a metre gap between us!!! It wasnt like we were sitting next to one another and we were rubbing shoulders!
Why cant they just assume that "my bf" wasnt invited because the bride/groom didnt know about him, or dont know him well enough, or he is away on a business trip...holiday...has another wedding to attend - i mean it is the season!!!
Instead of giving me the benefit of the doubt, his fiancee acted as though i was a predator trying to capture her man. So, she never said hello to me...never gave me a smile, or even a half smile...she didnt make eye contact or try to speak to me at all...quite frankly, even at the end of the night she was still acting like the ice queen from hell.
Meanwhile, all her fiance and i were talking about was her! Thats after the initial discussion around the table about everyone's occupation. We talked about how he met her, how he proposed to her, her favourite song that was being played by the band that night and therefore he should try and find her to dance with her, their current wedding plans: Western style or Traditional Asian style? We talked about how he proposed to her...one knee? M asked if it was a surprise?
And see, thats another thing. He was talking to M too. It wasnt just me all night - but if she was watching...she probably watched him while he spoke to me more often and anyway, since M was with D...M most probably wasnt seen as a threat.
If only she knew, she would feel like a fool for being a bitch to someone when it was all uncalled for. I dont need to say it, because i hope she wasnt worried about him being tempted by me, as there was no temptation to begin with and he absolutely loves her and cherishes her - she'd be a bigger pathetic fool for doubting him.
Overall, my evening was okay - but i was jipped of any wedding cake.
Out of the whole evening, their was a weird moment. Before the evening had progressed to the "Disco Phase" towards the end of the night, he told me that he hoped that i was successful in the future as a Project Manager and that i get everything i want in life - but then he knows that i will get to where i want to be and basically achieve everything i set out to achieve, because he sees it in me.
Now, normally i would just take this vote of confidence as something a close friend is saying to motivate me and make me feel better about myself. But coming from a person that i only just got re-acquainted with by 6 degrees...not quite friends...whom i spent the evening making polite enquiries about his future missus...is pretty odd.
And he said it with a sure amount of conviction. Which leaves me baffled. Its not like what he has said has been keeping me awake and sleepless at night. But when i think back to it, i wonder what he really means by it? Does he know something that i dont know??? Was he just being the nice guy that he is???
He didnt have to say anything nice to me though. I could see a long lost friend wishing me all the best after having a quick catch up conversation - because i would. But i would give a long lost friend a short "well, i should get back. I hope everything goes well with 'insert what they are trying to achieve here', but i know that you dont need it..." sort of sweet sentiment. And my friends are often high achievers...so i know that they dont need me wishing them luck...but just for good measure, i say it!
The ice queen was by his side when he said "bye" and she didnt even look at me, let alone utter a "bye" as a reflex, because her partner said bye to me. So, i just smiled at her and said bye to him and her.
I like moments like that. It confirms that i am a better person than most people out there...well it confirms that i at least have better manners.
And its a worry that she is a doctor. Imagine if she thought her patient was trying to hit on her fiance??? *gasp*
* UPDATE: In my meeting at 9:30AM, my manager sprung on me that i will be getting involved in a PROJECT so that i can MANAGE some in the coming year.
I usually get involved in projects during the implementation phases. So, now he is involving me right from the start, so that i can get my hands dirty.
Joy.
Friday, December 01, 2006
I'm a day late with this, but anyhoo...
I thought about it tonight, I’m lucky to be alive
I never thought these city lights would ever shine so bright
Floating on the surface, threatened to be dragged down
I thought I was lost forever, it turns out I’m alright
Sweetest November, winter wasn’t here forever
Time to rest your weary head in the sun
Sweetest November, the world’s renewed its colour
Only just in time to welcome summer
I thought about you tonight, I’m lucky that you’re alive
Even in these uncertain times, you’ll make it through the night
You were floating on the surface, threatened to be dragged down
I thought you were gone forever, it turns out you’ve been found
Sweetest November, winter wasn’t here forever
Time to rest your weary head in the sun
Sweetest November, the world’s renewed its splendour
Only just in time to welcome summer
Captured in this light, beauty will survive
Purified by fire you have made it to the sea
Sweetest November, winter wasn’t here forever
Time to rest your weary head in the sun
Sweetest November, the world’s renewed its colour
Only just in time to welcome summer
~Sarah Blasko
I never thought these city lights would ever shine so bright
Floating on the surface, threatened to be dragged down
I thought I was lost forever, it turns out I’m alright
Sweetest November, winter wasn’t here forever
Time to rest your weary head in the sun
Sweetest November, the world’s renewed its colour
Only just in time to welcome summer
I thought about you tonight, I’m lucky that you’re alive
Even in these uncertain times, you’ll make it through the night
You were floating on the surface, threatened to be dragged down
I thought you were gone forever, it turns out you’ve been found
Sweetest November, winter wasn’t here forever
Time to rest your weary head in the sun
Sweetest November, the world’s renewed its splendour
Only just in time to welcome summer
Captured in this light, beauty will survive
Purified by fire you have made it to the sea
Sweetest November, winter wasn’t here forever
Time to rest your weary head in the sun
Sweetest November, the world’s renewed its colour
Only just in time to welcome summer
~Sarah Blasko
