6 degrees of separation...

A friend (i sorta re-met on my Blue Mts trip) and i, had just realised that i know many of his friends.

I have met Andrew on various occasions previously, like at Henry's BBQ thingo at Coogee...or at steamboat in Burwood, etc. Henry knows Andrew through Andrew's gf. She did Physiotherapy at uni with Henry. I know Henry from highschool...which is how we are all connected.

When i was studying at the library for my HSC, i met all these people through my friend's cousin. Her cousin was doing 3U Ancient History and was also focusing on Roman Britain like i was, which is how he and i became close buddies.

I met all of his friends from highschool during this time, but never met Andrew. 5 years on, and in an email thread, we discover that he went to uni with my friend's sister...and that her bestfriend that was also doing the same course at the same uni with him...went to primary school with our other friends.

We then discover that all those people i met back during HSC time and still know, were his friends in highschool! I'm not surprised as much as i use to be, when finding out such details...im learning from experience that the world is getting smaller.

This leads to my next story...

My best friend went on a Contiki Tour of Europe from January 1, 2004 for 5 weeks. On this trip, she had met a really cute newlywed couple. The newlyweds are related to Gavin Rossdale (lead singer of Bush) and his wife Gwen Stefani (lead singer of No Doubt) through marriage.

That couple had joined the tour after spending Christmas with the famous couple and other members of the family. And whilst they were in Switzerland or Belgium...somewhere that there was good chocolate...the newlyweds showed my best friend and her sister their current holiday video thus far, over some hot chocolate...and yes they had some footage of Gwen and Gavin!

The newlyweds are an asian couple. The husband's father or uncle married Gavin's mum...thats how they are connected. It was by chance that the couple didnt want to party all night like the other people on the tour. Which is probably how they befriended my best friend and her sister, as they were tired from sightseeing during the day and the time difference between zones.

The four of them enjoyed the tour as a nice little group.

I wonder if i am able to say that i know someone who knows Gwen & Gavin??? *LoL*
(Through someone + someone + someone...hehehe)

Half a century...

She turned 50 today!

*woohoo*

^_^

I'm still trying to figure something to do as to celebrate her 50th Birthday...i was thinking about taking her to Melbourne to visit my cousin, since the airfares are so cheap. That or the Gold Coast. But if i go to the Gold Coast, id want to go on the rides, so im not sure she would be up for that.

For a 50 y/o...my mother is quite fit and she doesnt look 50 at all.

If i could, now, look as good as she did after having 2 children - that would be a miracle! I'd post the foto of her when i was a toddler, but since my scanner went caput! thats not going to happen anytime soon...

She still looked fab after 3 kids...but according to her, after 3 kids...its very hard to get back into shape...but i think after having a baby let alone 3 kids, its fine to look motherly.

I wonder how she is feeling? Life must be different to what she expected when she was a teenager, but i wonder if its different to what she expected when she first came to Australia??? I mean, when u head off to a new country that few had heard of, what do u expect?

I gotta remember to pick up her cake before i rush home to go to dinner!!!

*remember petals!*

I'm okay, how are u?

Why do we feel the need to ask people how they are doing, if we dont genuinely care how they are honestly feeling? Especially, when u ask and they lie to you and say that they are okay, but they are not, really. But had they said to you that they were not well, and then elaborated on why they are not well, you would think to yourself - why did i bother asking???

People ask me probably 30 times or more, depending on whether i have a bad day at work or not. I'm constantly being asked how am i, even if i have already spoken to the same engineer only 10 minutes ago. YES, i understand that they do it just to be polite. YES, i understand that i answer that im okay, just to be polite. BUT shouldnt we just cut it out, knowing that we are both just being polite, and our answers will be "i'm okay" or some similar variant of okay?

I'm not well. I'm coming down with the flu. I'm feeling feverish. When u ask me how i am, i really want to say that "im sick, i shouldnt be at work, although i am their last hope at the moment, and to be honest...im sick of saying that im okay, when im really not."

I have tried in the past to be honest with people when they asked how i was. I use to tell the engineers (because they know me) that i felt tired, when i did. That i was sick, when i was sick. That i was grateful that it was a Friday, when it was a Friday. And they empathised, but i just wasted heaps of time explaining myself. So, i stopped...and went back to being polite. They probably didnt care to hear about all the details either.

My phone calls always start of with:

Hi, how are you?
 
I'm good/okay, how are you?
 
I'm good, thanks.
I just called to...
 
If i dont ask a client how they are out of politeness, will they be offended? Will it be unprofessional?...I think that is the reason why i keep asking, even though i dont want to.  I also think its a bad habit, to ask because someone else asked you, not because you care to know. Curse the darn habit! =P

I'm just sorry...

Look, i'm sorry i really enjoyed myself at the Franz Ferdinand concert...the band went off...i danced the nite away...it was one of the best concerts i have been to. It was also the first time i witnessed so many people body surfing in the crowd!

I'm sorry that i bothered to pay $100 to get my hair done...it was okay, but it wasn't worth the $100 i spent to get it "deep conditioned" and the minute trim she gave me...and the non-existant consultation i had had with the hairdresser! Like wtf?!

I'm so sorry that i was unable to fit anymore dessert, because i would have enjoyed eating a full size green tea creme brulee on my own! =P

I'm sorry for all the dramas that occurred while i was managing the salon...but it was out of my hands...i couldnt control him and his issues with his ex wife...Bao wished u were back from the US and i soo wished that u were back too!

I'm sorry for being a complete agro b*tch...my day was bad and you were in my way of getting ready for the reception...which is why i told you to get out of my way!

I'm sorry for being late and there by making my family late for the wedding reception. I got held back at work, due to the issues that one of the employees was having with his ex wife. And then when i was doing the bookkeeping, the total just didnt seem right...I left an hour later than i had planned to. I got stuck in the mall, cos the security guards closed the various gates...had to track one of the security guards down, so that he could open one of the gates to let me out!

I'm so sorry that i witnessed all those bad singers at the reception...they are the type who'd rival Flynn and William Hung, but they think that they are really fab singers! >_<

I'm sorry i went shopping with my mother...she tells me not to buy anymore shoes or clothing...but she is the one with me. She is the one telling me how pretty the shoes look and if i dont buy it now when i need them, i wont be able to find them! Lets just say, i spent alot...

I'm sorry i had dinner before the animation fest. My mother made dinner for me, cos i thought we were eating at home first before going. Which in turn made me sorry for eating dinner twice...ugh...i still feel bloated!

I'm sorry that the scent of my hair reminds you of a time ud rather not remember...however good it was. I now know it hurts, but i didnt realise how much it affected you.

Simply put...

This is a quick reminder to myself...its something M told me one day either at the gym or in an email or somewhere...I reminded her of her theory last nite and she said that she would write it in a blog...so this is my inaccurate, condensed version.

She said to me, that people who were not born "pretty" or "beautiful" and realised it at an early stage, tend to develop their personality and talents as they do not have "looks" to rely on.

People wont talk to you because ur the prettiest girl in school...people would talk to you because they thought it was cool that u played an instrument...or that u were the best at a subject in school...etc...

This isnt to say that there are no "beautiful" people who have personality &/or talent...its just that the "not so beautiful" people tend to have more personality &/or talent to make up for the lack of beauty on the outside.

Which is where the whole "beauty is skin deep" comes from, i think anyway...

M also believes in the whole Ugly Duckling - Swan transformation...im not sure if i agree with this one...is there such a thing as a Swan - Ugly Duckling transformation, ie the reverse?

Come to realise...

I may be incoherent in this blog...as its pretty busy at work, but i need a break.
 
Please recognise that some of these ideas were helped pulled together by M. We were in the car waiting for L to meet up with us, so that we could go visit V in the hospital...(Hope you get well soon V!)
 
Persistance pays off: I look at the relationships that some girlfriends or some acquaintances of mine have...where the guy isnt really hot, and quite frankly if he was single and just there, u still wouldnt consider him...but u see him as your friend's bf...and you think, i wouldnt mind if i found a guy like that! These guys going out with cute or pretty girls...got those girls because they were persistant!
 
My personality is contrary to this belief...so i guess i better start putting the effort in. I've noticed that guys these days don't put enough effort either...
 
The couple i keep harping on about where he chased her for yonks...my girlfriend said that his persistance came to a point where one day she thought "I dont know what id do if i didnt have that attention anymore...so i gave him a chance..." And they have been together for 5 years...he was chasing her for 6 years.
 
*got interrupted at this point*

Now, when i say persistance, im not referring to the in-your-face type of harassment thats full on! Im talking about just being there consistantly, as a friend, but the girl is aware that u do like her in "that" way...subtleness...

*after i came back from lunch*

I think that even a stubborn girl, like myself will crack one day (sooner or later) if a guy was persistant with me!

I noticed that this day and age (maybe its our pickiness)...but we give up too easy - we are by no means persistant! Im guilty of it...if it gets tough or i cant be fudged, i just think to myself "heh...moving right along...exit door to my left!"

Acknowledgment to what i want: I'm looking for good company...someone who is interesting to talk to...the type of person that u can sit at a cafe and talk to for ages on things that u wouldnt normally fathom...thats what i currently want. (This is not a description of a boyfriend...just someone...)

Motivation is the key: I dont think im achieving many successes in my life, currently. There is only one person to blame for this. I dont have that go-getter spirit that most successful people have. I no longer care to compete and i only envision to compete with myself. So that i can better my stance in the world, but not really to be better than anyone in particular. Im not really motivated to do much now...so i blame myself.

M told me about a show on Compass that was a 3 part series in which she watched. The researcher presented the stats he found and it was like 9 out of 10 people who were successful in achieving what they wanted...those 9 people all said that they were motivated to "show someone...blah blah blah"...They wanted to prove someone else wrong, prove to someone else that they were better, to get revenge...

I dont have that urge.

I really do agree that motivation is the biggest key in success...i just dont have much if any at the moment...any minute amount of motivation that i previously had...i think has fizzled out about a week ago.

I dont even feel bad that im not motivated to do much these days...is that wrong?

M was talking about how she got to the platform of the train station and wasnt even sure if she whipped out her train ticket from her wallet, put it in the machine, took it back and put it into her wallet...before she got onto the platform. Although, she must have otherwise how could she have gotten in???

I feel like a lot of things i do these days is quite robotic - mechanical.

I feel like i have been programmed to do everything that i do every day of the week, including the weekends. My weekends are organised, just like my week days...

I need to shake things up...

Wedding bells are ringing...

She is getting married this Saturday.
 
Its a bit ironic...my mother has this theory, that when you break up from a long term relationship and get back together...something BIG happens!
 
In her case, they were together for over 4 years...broke up for about a month or two...got back together...and a month ago...well, we all found out that she was 10 weeks pregnant.
 
So, the wedding was organised in a rush...but it seems to have all fallen into place by the date of the wedding, so i dont think anyone will complain.
 
Chloe will be the flowergirl, but the poor dear is suffering from a cold or flu...and yet she has been practicing with a basket, pretending to throw rose petals as she walks along the hallway...hehhehehe...she thinks its her day, to be the princess!
 
I wont be bridesmaid again...i hated being one when my brother and sis-in-law got married...*ugh*...I'll actually be working on the day to cover my sis-in-laws absence from the salon. I've never been a manager...and now i have to manage a salon.
 
Am i freaking out?
YES! Did you even have to ask???
=P
 
I will be arriving at the wedding fashionably late(but who doesnt arrive late at asian weddings)...since I will have to go home after shutting the salon and get ready for the reception...i'll just take my time...hehehhe
 
You want to know the more shocking detail of this wedding?
 
The bride-to-be is only 18 y/o.
=(
 
When i was 18...i just started uni...and funny enough, i was partying with my sis-in-law, before she married my brother! ^_^
 
I wonder if my sis-in-law ever misses those girly nites out? But she married my brother at 26 y/o. At least she lived frivolously for a bit...
 
I wonder if the bride-to-be is feeling like she will (or may even currently) be missing a whole chunk of being a young careless adult? Because in about 6-7 months...she will have to be a responsible adult looking after another person...
 
*sigh*

Coming out of The Closet...

I have a thing for french movies. Especially the cute, quaint, comedic type of movies.  In my mind, i think that i have an edge for watching french films, just because i studied french for about 1 year in highschool. I pretend that i understand fully...altho my french only extends as far as: "hello, how are u? im good or very good or bad or so-so, my name is...what is your name? how old are you? im 23 y/o. Thank you/Thank you very much..."
 
So, what makes me think that i can speak french and understand french fluently? Gosh, i think im just deluded - because i dont, really!
 
The movie - The Closet, is about a man, Francois. He is a boring accountant...so boring that his wife left him 2 years ago and his 15 y/o son thinks he is so boring that he isnt worth his time for a short visit. Francois is left with nothing but his job. And when he finds out that he is at risk of losing his job one day...he tells the cat he finds on his balcony that nite, that he should just commit suicide.
 
Basically, his neighbour who overhears his conversation with the cat, and then he suggest to Francois that he doesnt jump, but in fact tell the lie that he is in fact gay. And it works. The company even tries to promote him, since they are manufacturers of rubber and rubbery things...hahhahaha.
 
The guys life becomes interesting, people around him change due to his lie and some doctored foto of his face superimposed on another's body. His son who has been avoiding him goes and visits his father. His ex wife is interested in knowing why he is now "gay" and invites him to dinner.
 
From all the events that occur, he wakes up from his trance of forever pining for his ex wife at the dinner. He realises that he has the potential to be more...to offer more...no longer boring. And the main realisation is that his ex wife was a selfish, unloving, ungiving person that he just didnt need in his life anymore.
 
I laughed more than i anticipated...it was a funny movie.
 

Creamy pumpkin soup for a smile...

Helllloooo! *He smiles his smile*
Have here, or to go? (He remembers why i am there...)
 
I'll have it to go, thank you.
You look buggered today...been busy with the lunch time customers?
 
Yeah, one of the guys cut his finger...so its been flat chat.
 
Oh my...
 
*He serves some other customers*
 
(Notice that Ryan wasn't there today...)
 
*My soup comes out in a nice little container*
 
It wasn't Ryan was it? The one who cut his finger???
 
No, it was Troy...
 
Was it really bad?
 
Well, Troy is a trooper, it was quite bad, otherwise he would have soldiered on...
 
I hope he gets well soon!
Thanks for the soup.
 
*I smile at him*
 
*He returns with THAT smile, and a bonus wink*
 
What i realise, and this makes me swoon even more, is that he only winks at me...well as far as i could see while im there...
 
He served other girls...but i was the only one that he winked at!
 
*ahhhhh....*
 
^_^
 
And ermm...yes, the soup was delicious!  

Flynn. Fling?

That asian guy who tried out at the Australian Idol doing a rendition of Michael Jackson's "Beat It"...well he has successfully achieved the William Hung fame...(not to the same scale...but he might get there).
 
The guy has this snippet where he sings "Beat It" for 2dayFM's Beat the Bomb competition.
 
I just think its wrong that you would use a name that u can't even pronounce urself.
 
He tried to tell the judges his name, and it took him about 3 or 4 times of saying Flynn...which really did sound like Fling...before they got what he meant!
 
I doubt he will get a contract to do an album like William Hung...but u never know. 

Lunch today...Update for Riss...

Its not a matter of him saying my name when he says hello...altho, his voice is pleasant on the ears...

Its that smile.

A warm impish smile...not too broad, but full. With this touch of cheekiness.

I went to get my lunch and asked what was the soup of the day and his employee said it was chunky veg. I joked and said "but u guys had that yesterday"!

So, HE came up and asked me what i wanted to have? I told him that i would like creamy pumpkin. He told me "DONE! I'll have it ready for tomoro."

I then told him: "Wow, your allowing my request?"
Cute guy: "Only because your special!"

*heart melts*

Me: "Oh, so i'm special..."
Cute guy: "Yes, you are. And so is Ryan. He is a special kind of special..." (talking about his employee)

*Cute guy tells a joke to Ryan - i missed it*

Ryan: "His jokes are lame." (He was grabbing the freshest produce for me!)
Me: "Sorry, missed it!"
Cute guy: "I told Ryan that we get a Government Grant to keep him here."
Me: "Thats not very nice!"
Cute guy: "I'm not very nice..." (So, he says with that smile!)

So, I guess ill have to get lunch there tomoro. I mean, they are making the soup upon my request...(not that i was thinking of getting something else for lunch!)

;)

I'm really suspicious about her...

Out of the blue, she emails me.

I look at it and think "Should i reply?"

Out of courtesy, i reply with a simple hello. how are u? im fine, thanks for asking.

The second email she sends me, seems generic, asking me about my work.

Once again i reply to be polite and i ask if she was working.

Third email i receive, it gets personal! She asks me about my love life, what my status was?!

O_O

Shocked, stunned, & slightly offended, i curtly respond and inform her that i was single - by choice.

Fourth email and she springs it on me! She has a friend. Uber cute. Interesting. Fun. Apparently, he can handle "fiesty" girls, 'If i know what she means'.

I once again, politely inform her that im not interested in being set up (from an acquaintance, nonetheless). And if this guy is so crash hot, on every girls "I want you" list...then why is he single...or why wasnt she going out with him???

She replies to that email, telling me that he was a friend of hers and not her type. Considering what i knew about her "type" - the little i did know...i still felt highly suspicious of the whole situation.

She shoots another email asking if i am available next Friday nite.

Thankfully, i am an utterly busy girl next week! I inform her that i already have plans to go to dinner and drinks. So, im very sorry, but im busy!

She sends another email, trying to convince me to "just meet the guy"...whatever i decide after that wont matter.

I couldn't be bothered to respond to that email.

Then, she does the shifty and sms my mobile. I advise her that I AM HAVING DINNER AND DRINKS that nite that she suggested. She then sms me with another date.

I didnt bother replying to that.

She sms'd my mobile again, advising me of his whereabouts on that evening, the evening that i will be busy...she asks if i will be anywhere near there?

I am not about to go and see a person i dont want to meet.

I didnt reply to that sms either.

So, she calls my mobile. Thankfully, im at the gym and missed the call. She had left a voice message. I was rude this time, and i didnt call back.

I dont understand why she doesnt get the hint???

I dont want to be set up.

Im actually happy at the moment, where i am.

I dont appreciate that out of nowhere, she is now in my face trying to set me up with her friend - a supposed "fantastic" guy! Which im quite skeptical about, and this whole fiasco is leaving a really disgusting taste on my tongue.

Be afraid...be very afraid...

He is soo cute!

I asked him for his name after he winked at me while i was ordering my lunch yesterday. Since he learnt my name, he had always said hello to me (name included) without a fail...I was feeling bad that i didnt know his.

This guy has the ability to turn my day around.
I look forward to my lunch breaks because of him.
He makes me smile, flirt, and feel feminine.

He offered to buy me a coffee, he said it was on him. I politely informed him that i didnt drink coffee...so he offered to buy me a bottle of water. He was so cute, i said that i would grab one later.

Today, he looked more alert...(previously i learnt that he drinks 8 cups of coffee each day to stay awake and on his toes)...poor guy! So, i commented to him that he looked more perky today. He smiled his warm smile...i just smiled back. I asked if it was due to more coffee? He said no...he was trying to ween off the coffee, since it was "bad for him". (That was something i said to him when i learnt that he had 8 cups a day!)

*^_^*

I'm utterly smitten by this guy...im impressed by him because he turned his idea into a reality...and although its hard work, he is there doing it every day! And it doesnt hurt that he is cute too!
;)

ahahahahahaha

You look pale!

That's what my older brother said to me last nite when he actually looked at my face. (He rarely does so.) I dont think i look pale...(I asked M when i saw her, she didnt think so). Then he asked what i was doing being a vegetarian?

To be honest, i dont have a problem with eating meat, and im not making a statement either...i just feel uncomfortable digesting it now, especially after doing the detox properly.

My mother is getting worried. And because my brother said that, she is adamant that i need to eat meat. She is literally trying to force it down my throat. The only way i manage to escape, is by rushing off to the gym before she can ask if i will be having dinner!

I eat, and i eat frequently. My choice of snacks are all healthy. My choice in meals are also healthy. So, it may consist of vegetables more than any form of meat, if any...you'd think my mother would be happy, considering she use to harp on the fact that i didnt eat enough of it.

To make up for the lack of meat, i do take vitamin supplements, and i am eating mineral rich foods to make up for the lack of iron, calcium, etc.

I should try to smile more, so that there is more colour to my cheeks...
=P

A new version of a Swear Jar...

We are introducing a new kind of money jar...where we deposit a monetary denomination (TBA) for certain colloquial slangs that would be deemed a "westie" term. A coin for every term used.

Words or phrases we are not allowed to use, thus far:

* y'know or uno
* dunno
* serious???
* oh my gawd!
* nahhh...
* no wayyy!
* chicken shiet
* do you get what i mean?

This list will grow in time. I will be endeavouring to improve my professional and conversational skills by eliminating these slang terms from every day use.

I always thought that i spoke in a manner that was normal, straightforward, and concise. It seems i have been influenced by the people i associate myself with! It is time to separate the two.

This will be tough. Very tough, as i am surrounded by fobs at work, who did you think would be the engineers here?

What are the other slang terms that you have heard people from the West use???

Another why???

I had an almost perfect date on Saturday...

It was almost perfect, because it wasnt really a date.

Almost perfect, because everything else but that one glitch, was lovely, sweet and simple.

We went to pick up the movie tix for the Animation Fest, but since we were early, we went to the Markets to get a Turkish Gozlame...(as i woke up late and didnt have breakfast)...it was considerate of him...

It started to rain as i was ordering my Gozlame, so he ran to his car to get an umbrella for me...

Since it was raining, i ate in his car...and he wasnt bothered by it...

We headed back to pick up the Animation Fest tix because the cinemas were finally opened...after that, we head to Palace in Leichardt to watch "Dirty Pretty Things."

It was one intriguing and quaint movie. I really enjoyed it, but I am a tad biased...as im a fan of Audrey Tautou.

After the movie, we grabbed a bite, because he was hungry...i was just thirsty...i drank two bottles of water before i realised how dehydrated i was...

The whole day went by with ease, pity that nothing will amount from it.

Why???

Why do people, who are not Chinese or of an asian origin, enjoy appending an "a" to the end of my name?

If they were Chinese or of another asian ethnic background i would forgive them for adding an "a" or an "ah" to the end of my name, because they have a tendency to add an "a" or an "ah" to the end of any sentence.

For about 15 years, on my CBA statements, i was known as a Christina...even the computers were against me! I actually attempted to fix this name problem twice before...but gave up when they still had an "a" at the end of my name!

One day, i got fed up and stormed into a branch and got them to correct it in front of me, only to find that i had two profiles mirroring eachother...one as a Christine and another as a Christina.

Picture Portraits...

I dont wear make up to work. I dont like it all that much, & due to the nature of my work and the people i work with (30-somthing y/o engineers with wives and kids) i cant be buggered to get up an extra 10 minutes to "paint my face" in the morning.

But i would have liked a little warning that my face was going to be snapped and plastered on the work intranet! I mean, please, some sort of warning. I look like ive had a really bad nite & day, and im suffering from a cold/flu!

Its being loaded up, i guess because everyone wants to know what we (my department) look like...its going to be stuck with a profile of our job and resposibilities...like, what the?!

I dont want people to know what i am responsible for?! AND i dont want the people interstate to know what i look like! I hope it doesnt get distributed amongst the "greater" intranet, to all our sister and our parent company intranets! How sucky is that?! =(

It really made me feel like i was in school again, taking a personal portrait during School Photo Day. Or taking a passport photo before renewing my passport! And we all know how badly those photos can turn out! *bummer*

#

I had a hit of dejavu last nite. My dad was singing a song as he walked up the drive way to the back door. As a kid, although i didnt understand Manderin...i loved it when Dad would sing a Manderin song. It relaxed me...i think because it relaxed him...it was comforting to know that Dad was home from work and last nite, i felt like a kid again...

I havent felt so nostalgic as i did last nite. I complain that i am currently going through my quater-life crisis...but thats a load of bs...and im just complaining! But i sincerely believe that my father is going through his mid-life crisis.

For a long while, he didnt sing as he walked up the driveway...he didnt walk up the driveway while i was awake to hear, even if he was singing...My dad use to come home like clockwork because of what he did for a living...and then he decided to be his own boss, and became self employed. That was over 10 years ago, and for over 10 years...my dad just changed. I dont think he was happy with his choice...

So, for a decade...he has been feeling miserable...which is probably why he hadnt been singing for a long time. I think in his mind he has finally made some crucial decisions...which is why he can sing as he walks up the driveway these days...

Its quite sweet when i see my father carry Aimee and he rocks her to slumber. As he does so, he sings to her...and no matter how much she might be crying...she quietens down when she hears his voice and she falls asleep. I wonder if when i was a baby that he did the same thing? But according to Mum he never carried me. Maybe just as today, when i was baby...i must have heard him singing as he walked up the drive way...

Shocked, horrified & relieved...

I saw the guy at the gym again...hehehe...

M hatched a plan during the day and if i had the opportunity, i would have done something last nite that would have altered the course of my life (melodrama). But then again, my Chinese starsign is of a Chicken...and true to that, i acted like one!

Thankfully, i changed my mind from doing anything and just kept "scoping" the scene as i admired him from a far...because as the nite progressed...i saw him with a girl!

I pretended like i didnt notice, but i was shattered!

My crushing type of infatuation on the Gym Guy was actually just that, crushed!!!

It lasted no longer than a fortnight, how disappointing!?! But hey, it was fun while it lasted...AND while Gym Guy was with THAT girl, i noticed another guy on the Roman Chair...who happened to look very cute...and i caught him looking at me while i was doing my lower abdominals...hehehe...i think i found another crush.

;)

I shouldn't have to feel awkward...

But i think i will be...slowly 2 by 2, my friends are coupling up.

In retrospect, its quite funny...my mother always joked that "the girls" will one day pair up with "the boys". If my best friend wasn't as much a commitment phobe as myself, she would be one half of another "couple" in the group.

Last nite, i missed a call from one of the girls. She called and said "i have some news". I'm there thinking..."here we go again!"

She too asked me, "take a guess?"...why do they always ask me to do that?...i got it on my third guess.

I firstly asked if our other friends were "official" and have let the cat out of the bag, so to speak. My second guess was that she was going out with a person that was "rumoured" to have been interested in her...and of course i got it on my final guess.

She had been wishing, hoping, waiting, willing, even resorted to praying that one day they would be together...and then one day came.

She had a crush on him since high school...and thanks to my matching making Emma-style skills, i set them up to go to the formal together...and at that time, they were just friends. I guess a long term friendship goes a long way.

Over the years, us girls sorta parted way with the boys, as we all went to USYD and the boys went to UNSW. Then after uni, but more due to our 21st birthday parties...we happened to reconnect. Now that everyone has finished studying, i guess they are thinking about relationships more...which (maybe) explains why all the boys are acting weird and are hooking up with the girls! *LoL*

They play tennis with eachother on a regular basis now...the girls and boys...something i dont participate in as im not a good tennis player and they tend to play at odd hours when i have other commitments. And thankfully, i dont play with them...otherwise i think id feel weird seeing all the couples, and i would be thinking so who is next to pair up?!

Well, actually thats not hard to figure...since its only myself and my bestfriend who is left single...and since the guy who likes/liked her is one of the boys and it fell through, and everyone knew it...i dont think any of the other guys would go after her even if they liked her alot...(that whole secret boys code about not dating other friends love interest?!)

And, well, about myself...i've always been seen as one of the boys...heh...im the one they admire playing touch footy...so, ermm...i guess my best friend and i will have to settle with a girls nite out with just the two of us?! I'm not sure how my best friend will feel in the presence of the new couples...but i will certainly feel weird...

It took some time getting use to my other friends who are a couple and have been for the past 5 years...uno the couple i talk about where the guy chased my friend from Year 7 until the end of HSC and thats when they finally got together??? The update on them is that they recently bought a house together...thats what i call real love and commitment! But why did i feel weird, even knowing that he adored her...and that one day they would be together? Well, it was when they went out with us girls...he became a tag-along...and when there is a guy, u dont know how much u can say...even if he is ur friend too.

I dont care now because i talk about anything and everything in that friends presence...but that took a couple of years for that to happen...and ino he doesnt talk to the other boys like how those other boys DO talk amongst eachother...

I know im just being silly, and i need to adjust...i just hope their relationships last...because i will feel even more awkward if they dont work out and they dont ever talk to eachother again...

*smiles all around*

For a while (most of last week), i missed out on seeing that guy from the gym...and there he was last nite...haha!
#
I have never seen my friend with his shirt off until last nite...and *damn* when he hopped out of the pool, with the water glistening off his chest...he looked HOT! And then we tried to attempt to talk through the glass wall between the gym and the pools...*LoL*

#
He is a smooth operator...i need to remember that he is probably like that with all the girls...but at the moment its fun...its nice to receive compliments...and its nice to think that someone is thinking about you when you least expect it...

#
I will be going to the Sydney International Animation Festival! Its on during July 20-25, 2004. Shoot that week will be busy...

#
I cant wait until i go see Franz Ferdinand @ The Metro on the 22nd July...then i'm taking the next day off to be pampered...and then off to Kobe Jones for dinner...*mmm*...
^_^

Rise Rise Rise!

I have only been permanent for about 4 months...but the company is giving a review to every employee...im guaranteed a rise regardless, not much but something because they are changing the number of hours i work, but i won't actually have to do it.

Originally, i work 37.5 hours...if i get held back or don't have lunch, i don't get paid for it. So, i try my best to minimise that occurance. They now want to increase the hours to a standard 38 hours. Which is fine...i guess, it's a nice round number, but i don't really want to come in an extra 6 mins earlier than normal.

I start at 08:30hrs, and i finish at 17:00hrs. I asked my manager in jest, whether we could just round up the 0.5 and make it a whole 38 hrs. He said since it was just an extra 6 mins per day - "Forget about it!"

So, i get paid an extra 30 minutes worth of work, without doing any work!

Now...isn't that great news for a Friday?

I can't believe what i'm about to say...

When i was younger, i had chronic asthma, tonsilitis and hayfever.

I got my tonsils removed when i was about 8 y/o. But the asthma remained pretty bad and the hayfever...*ugh*...wasn't about to leave me be (i suffer 12 months of it). I was a regular in the local hospital for my asthma, like once a month i would be in there. The nurses were always nice to me...they new my name and my medical history. When i felt better whilst staying in the hospital, i would be allowed to sit with the nurses at the reception desk...isnt that weird??? hehehe...For one year i was away from school about half of the year.

Ironically, i received the best results in my reports that year...who understands how that works?

So, basically...due to my asthma, i have been afraid of any form of cardio/aerobic exercise, especially running. Anything that would get my lungs working overtime or get my heart rate racing, i'd be scared of it before even attempting it.

Thankfully, as i got older like in high school, i played team sports that didn't work me so hard and with the help of my ventolin inhaler...i think i learnt to live with it. When i finished high school i started going to the local leisure centre, because i wanted to do aqua aerobics since the doctor suggested that it would help me...and so i did.

Then Cleo or Cosmo had a promotion for 2 weeks free membership at the gym...and since my local gym was part of the promotion...i thought, "what the heck, lets just do it!!!"

It took me a good 2 years of going to the gym regularly doing anything and everything but run on the treadmill. Its been about 3.5 years and i now can say that i run on the treadmill at a sufficient pace. And although i do get tired, im nowhere near an asthma attack! *woohoo*

Surprisingly...its funny, im like this weird anomoly at the gym. All of my trainers including my recent one are all baffled with me and the results i produce.

My current trainer, he doesnt understand why i am unable to get the results that i want, because he watches me do my stuff whilst he walks around the gym checking that everything is running smoothly...and im literally working my butt off! My current heart rate at rest is like 49 beats per minute. Apparently, that is the definition of healthy and fit...and a marathon runner(?), i thought he was joking with me when he told me that! And since my heart rate is of a fit person...i need to get it up to about 175 beats per minute to gain any results from a cardio/aerobic workout. Apparently, the best way to get the heart rate up that high and keep it there for a while is by running.

So, here it is...and i really can't believe it is coming from my mouth...but i actually like running! All these years of being scared of running and avoiding it...all those times i said that i was asthmatic and therefore i shouldnt run in fear that it would trigger an attack...its all over now. I dont think i have asthma anymore. I dont use the inhaler, i havent for about 3 years, maybe even longer...i havent felt that tight squeeze on the chest for a very long time, actually i cant seem to remember how it felt.

The funny thing is that i enjoy running (still in awe about saying that)...or maybe i enjoy the sense of overcoming a physically overwhelming obstacle?

*What did you think i was going to say next?*

Oooh...Oooh...Oooh!

For one month i get to be trigger happy and take fotos with my mobile and then send them to whomever for FREE!

hahhahahaha

How can i get so excited over something so little?!?!?

The customer service guy, Kevin, was really nice to me and i made him laugh...i was a bit ditsy when he was sending me the proxy settings for my fone! I didnt think i pressed my off button for long, but apparently i did, because instead of just clearing the screen, it turned my fone off just as he asked if i received the settings...*blonde*...i had to explain myself and then something happened to the proxy settings.

He had to send it to me twice.

The guy chuckled so hard, i think he was almost on the floor...anyways...i cant believe i was so darn silly, even over the fone! *RofL*
=P

*Now...Smile, please!?*

Self Analysis...

I buy gifts for my little brother...he is turning 17 in October...but i've been buying him gifts since i had the money to. People think im a really good sister...which isnt really true. Now upon reflection, i gather now that i buy him gifts because for a very very long time i had blamed him for losing my childhood!

I was six when my brother was born. I was excited, i love babies...they are so innocent and beautiful! Although i was a very independent 6 y/o...i was still a child! Up until i was pre-teens and in my teens, like about 14 y/o...i blamed his existance as the cause of my lack of a childhood. I babysat him while my parents worked. So, i was unable to go out and play with the kids on the street like i use to.

I was homebound and it felt like i was living in jail (over dramatisation, but i was a kid).

I think i subconciously buy my little brother gifts to make up for all the times i wished that he would just disappear and give me back my childhood, all the times i missed being with my friends.



As a little girl, i actually wanted to be a mother and have 2 children. *gasp* Which really goes against everything i say today, doesnt it? I'm trying to find out as to when, at which point in my timeline did i decide not to get married or have kids. I believe all girls want to be a mother &/or have children at some stage of their life. Some just change their minds along the way. And i happen to be one of them.

My perception of kids now, if they are my niece or nephew...then i look at them with love but i still have little tolerance for their tantrums. To be their mothers, oh my gosh...i wouldnt survive!

I still recall wanting to be a mother when i was in primary school...my mind must have changed when i was in high school...is it just me being selfish? I keep telling myself that i'm actually being selfless. I'm giving up the opportunity to be a mother, because i forsee that i will be a bad mother. I dont think it would be right to be a mother and responsible for another's life, when i'm irresponsible with mine!

But what about marriage? My one greatest fear, as far as i can remember was to die lonely, this was when i was younger...Today, i quite enjoy my alone time...i no longer fear dying lonely...maybe that is why i dont actually care to be married.

I've taken some time to consider that maybe it is because i am a self-confessed-commitment-phobe. By choosing not to marry I actually eliminate the commitment! Problem solved...self preservation? I dont know what makes me a commitment-phobe though...my friends think im picky...some friends think that i choose to go out with guys who are "not good enough" for me, they think i deserve better. Maybe that is true, and if i go out with a guy "not good enough" for me - it will be unlikely that i will commit...once again, eliminating the commitment problem!

My fear of commitment, where does that come from??? I'm not sure...that i have yet to discover.



My love for mint-flavoured things...what does it mean? I love peppermint tea...im pretty sure i have mentioned this on my blog before. There is something about the smell of minty-fresh-goodness! That lingering freshness in your mouth after taking a sip of peppermint tea. It is an acquired taste, id admit...but gosh i lurve it!

I like minties too...i even do that thing where u tear up the wrapper and see how long you can get it. I actually won a school competition back in primary school for making it ultra ultra long! I think i got a voucher of some sort. hehehe

Maybe it reflects my liking of things "fresh". I like perfumes and colognes that are "fresh", like which girl doesnt love the smell of Armani's Acqua Di Gio? or Darvidoff's Coolwater? And if i wasnt allergic to freshly cut grass...id love that too! I lurve that fresh smell of the ocean in the early mornings..."Callala Beach, oh how i miss you!"



A part of self analysis, is that when you ask urself some questions, (maybe its just me) but i feel you can resist in telling urself the truth. Hold out from being deeply honest...trick urself from revealing what you dont want to admit.

So, this was just a bundle of my mumbo-jumbo!

Have a nice un-psychotic day!
^_^

Mean Girls - Mean Kids...

2Day FM Morning Crew were talking about the movie "Mean Girls" because Peter Hellier watched it and that inspired a lot of response from the general public in regards to mean kids/bullies when people were at school.

One of the callers was a girl named Julie from Liverpool. What makes Julie so interesting from my perspective was the story she told. In highschool she was always the one they called "fat", "Fatty-boomsticks"...she said that she was the girl that no one would want to go out with. So, to get her revenge, after high school she lost a lot of weight and is now one of those "hot" girls and when the boys from high school saw her and wanted to go out with her, she obviously said no to them!

She said she may have been fat, but she can always lose weight! They were ugly and always will be!
*ouch*

As i listened...she sounded familiar...its been 5 years since i last saw Julie. People from school have told me that she had lost a lot of weight and is now going out with a "hunky" guy. She went to the Mounties gym and perservered with the weightloss and now she has a great bod. Good on her!

It just made me think about the things i didnt notice in high school, and emphasised how much was going on but i was unaffected by it. Thankfully, im not emotionally scarred from any bad experience in high school...did u know that i never witnessed any fights at school?

*fudge!!!*

Im at work, we only have the dimmer lights on cos the engineer prefer's the dimmers to the fluros. It feels like its 9pm. My manager took leave today. So, im naturally surfing the web. Its been a really quiet day - which really equates to all our customer's networks being fine and dandy!

As im doing some browsing, i landed on the Good Medicine page and i decide to do read article about "Is your suburb making you fat?" It sounded like a whacky idea, but i had the time to indulge and read it. There is a link to a quiz from the DietClub...i regret taking it.

Why do i regret taking the quiz??? Well according to it, although i think im healthy...they think im over-FUDGIN'-weight! *pfft*

=P

Okay, i've sooked over it.

I'm heading off to watch a girlie DVD and have some chocolate fondue! *RofL*

Morally incorrect?

I often have "Tunnel-vision" switched on at the gym to avoid eye contact, so that i can focus on running for 20 minutes at the speed of between 10.5-12.5 kph. I also have a tendency to either close my eyes or stare at the tv in front of me with Channel V set on the screen.

But there is this guy at the gym.

Decent looking, a familiar face, taller than i am.

I noticed him as he probably noticed me in the same way. We both go to the gym frequently on weeknights and i sometimes see him on the weekends too.

We have never spoken to eachother, never even acknowledged eachother with a nod or smile, as u would do at the gym.

Now, after Wednesday nite I have been flirting with the idea of "getting to know him better".

*wink wink*

What is actually stopping me from doing anything though, is not the simple fact that i have no idea on how to pick up a guy at the gym...Like what would be the second thing to say after "Hi!" that wouldnt make me sound like a complete idiot???

No, the thing that is stopping me is a simple fact.

I'm bored.

Now, in my mind...i consciously recognise this.

I only started to fancy the idea of crushing on him as i was ritualistically doing my lower abs on the Roman Chair. He was right in front of me doing bicep curls. Honestly, it could have been any half decent guy there, at that time, in front of me doing whatever boys do at the gym. So, it could have been anyone.

Which is why im not going to do anything.

It feels wrong knowing that ur not really interested in a relationship with a person, and yet pursuing it. I think i would feel really sick if i found out that someone was only interested in me because they were "bored" at the time.

I told M this, and she doesnt seem to think there is anything wrong with it "just because ur bored". She gave Ella Fitzgerald's song "Let's Fall in Love" - as an example as to why i should. There is this line:

" Now is the time for it, while we are young
Let's fall in love "

She thinks that "that" is excuse enough. I just feel wrong in doing so, knowing that im just interested in having "fun" because im "bored". Its selfish. It could be hurtful. And im just not that crazy to do anything out of the ordinary as yet, to break my moral ground.

Get of your high horse petals!

Japanese Poetry...

I was sort of in between watching tennis, the news, and this Japanese movie on SBS last nite that was semi-doco, altho it was suppose to be based on a true story, or something like that...It is called "Sada" after the main character, and like Memoirs or any other novel about a girl becoming a geisha and soaring to fame in the era of the mid 1930s...Sada's story is similar. She was raped at 14 and so she decided that she might as well make money from her body after it was used in such a way...pretty sad really. She has a fetish for eating donuts, but i missed the beginning so i'm not 100% sure as to why.

I really enjoyed the way they filmed the movie. It didnt get a good rating from the reviews in the TV Guide, but i thought it was interesting. What i really enjoyed were the proverbs and the poetic things the men were saying to her, or she would be saying to them.

The one piece of poetry that i still recall was said by the Restaurant owner, that she became a mistress to shortly after she decided to stop prostituting herself and work at the restaurant.

He said to her, well he really sang it:

"If you have dreams of your lover, you're not really in love...
If you are genuinely in love, you won't be sleeping at all..."

Her father who was sick, which probably also propelled her to prostitution (so she could afford to pay for medicine and doctors for him) said to her after she asked if he could see people's soul?

"Can you still see other people's soul, father? Can you see mine?"

"Smile for me."

*Sada smiles an impish smile*

"Smile wider."

*Sada smiles widely*

"Yes, I can see your soul...The mountains, the trees, the sun and the rain can see your soul too. You see a person's soul through their smile."

Like a rose...

"As a presence in a room with its scent, color, and shape, a rose can take possession of the viewer's innermost thoughts and emotions, making everything else look absurdly small in comparison."
-Daphne Filiberti

Since i was a little one, my mother told me an analogy that i still recall to this day.

She compared a female to a rose, its longevity in terms of beauty, and how that translated to women and the amount of relationships they had or will have if they were young, like myself.

Basically, when a girl reaches the age of about 18 years...give or take a couple of years...(everybody is different) - this is the age in which the girl is like a rosebud, just starting to blossom mentally and physically. I guess it depends on what you prefer, but its one of the "prettier" looks of a rose. A girl is just starting to look "prettier" in her teens.

When the girl becomes a lady, her mid-20s, she is at that stage where the rosebud is opening up further more, you can see more character as the petals reveal themselves. Her individual personality shines, and according to my mother this is her peak.

When the lady matures reaching her 30s, she is still beautiful and if anything, in my opinion she is glorious. Roses in full bloom are fragrant, you can feel the texture of the rose petals, its nice and silky, although a little weathered. I think a rose in full bloom has the most personality and individuality, u just didnt notice until they unveiled themselves.

So, there are three stages of a rose and three corresponding stages of a woman's life in which to be adored, wanted, and shared.

When you are young, you are at the age where u can be frivilous! Pick and choose whomever you want to be with, but there will be one stand out person during this time. That was Person #1.

In between, there may be a couple to choose from. And to be honest, there is going to be one person that is "Mr Almost Right for You", if you haven't already decided that he is "Mr Right". This is the time to be wise in your choice, not to do anything irrational - just because. Mr Almost is Person #2.

The last leg of the beauty vs aging race. The rose is still beautiful, but we all know that the beauty on the outside wont last for all too long. Its quite disheartening to think that there will be less "men" at this age chasing after you, just because your said "beauty" is fading. But i think there is an element of truth to it. If you do encounter a "Mr Almost Right" at this phase of your life, I think you should really consider and re-evaluate what you want from a partner...maybe ur ideals are too far and wide...and you do know that they are ideals, right?

Mr Almost Right is Person #3, and he may be the last one that you will come across in a very long while. According to my mother's analogy, he is the final one.

Recap of the analogy: There seems to be only 3 possible Mr Rights in a girls life...
=(

*sigh*

I think the point of her story was to illustrate the fact that when you "grow up" your beauty grew too (inside and outside), but it fades like the way it began. I think the other poignant matter she wanted to bring to my attention was about the opportunities that life presented in various phases of your life, and to avoid taking it for granted! As one day you will wake up realising that you no longer have your looks. You have become old and lonely, because you allowed good opportunities slip right pass you.

Higher maintenance...

On our Blue Mts trip, a male friend told another friend of mine that she wasnt "high maintenance" but she was "higher maintenance" than someone else.

In a late night discussion in the Boy's Room, i asked that male friend...what was "high maintenance"? What did they all think made a girl a "High Maintenance"? I also asked whether he thought i was high maintenance?

Now according to another male friend, to simplify what he said...he summed it up as "a girl who says something and you have to do it her way"!

The friend who said my friend was "higher maintenance than another friend" told me that he thought that i was "higher than the higher maintenance friend", but i wasnt "high maintenance"?!?!?!

Does that make sense?
O_o

He said it all depended on how much a girl expected which made her high maintenance.

I admit, when i was younger...i had a lot of expectations...and it may have been due to the fact that i was waiting for my knight in shining armour to come and sweep me off my feet.

But since i have grown older...i accept the fact that the things i desire are just my idealistic views...parts of a dream...parts of a fantasy...more importantly i dont expect any of it from a guy anymore, not today, it wouldnt be real!

What really bugged me was when we started talking about something else...i think it was about romantic gestures. i said that i longed to receive a hand written love letter from any guy that i liked. The male friend who said i was "higher than higher maintenance" interjected and said "See, thats an expectation, which is why i said that u were higher maintenance!"

How the *fudge* is saying what i desire to receive from a guy i liked in terms of romantic gestures, a stupid expectation??? I dont expect that i will get it. I dont think i will receive one. It was just my sentiments on a romantic thing to do for a girl and since i am a girl, it was a valid opinion!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

So, tell me guys...What is a high maintenance girl?

Just call me Emma...

I secretly plot to get friends who like someone, with that person they desire...a novice matchmaker, if you will...I mean, all girls know that dropping hints to guys, dont actually work! Unless you throw urself at a guy, he wont notice that u are interested him - and most girls wont throw themselves at guys. Boys, need a little extra push. Or someone they trust to inform them that it is okay if they were interested in someone, to go for that someone! I mean what is the point of a network of friends if you cant use them to your advantage? Or help the friends in that network?

=P

Scenario: My girl friend will like a guy who i am also friends with, but obviously i am closer to my girl friend, which is why ino that they like him...i will speak to the guy they desire when i get a chance to do a one-on-one and i show him an opportunity if he was inclined to be interested.

When i actually put my heart into it, i succeed!

=)

My friend called me last nite to tell me some news...i was a bit aggitated because it was almost 9:30pm when Detective Goran was going to spring on Jason and Sam for killing their father, because their mother had put a lot of psychological abuse on them - to an extent that they thought their father was trying to kill them.

Anyways, so she calls me...and said "Guess what? I have some good news - i think!"

I'm their waiting...then i took a stab and said "You guys are going out?"
"No!"

"Then what?"

"He told me he liked me! It was like taking a tooth out..."

"But thats good, right...that he likes u?"

See, if a guy told me he liked me...and i liked him...i would be squealing at this point, out of happiness...but i guess that i am different from other girls.

She didnt tell me she liked him when i sort of put my hand into play with the forces that be - i intuitively knew...and he liked another girl, but was having problems deciding on what to do...that time we went canoeing, since it was just him and i in the canoe, i took the chance to "inquire" and suggestively mention my friend to him.

I think it was definitely what i had said to him that pushed him in the right direction.

I dont believe in telling people what to do - who am i to say what is right or wrong? i rather show them what options are available! The pros and cons of a situation...and if they ask me, i will tell them if i think something will lead to a dead end or if they should be hopeful.

I asked whether he would go out with one of "us" girls...say like "my friend"?

He said that it would have been an honor as "us" girls were really cool and friendly...and he would go out with "my friend" if she was interested...BUT obviously not then, cos he was interested in that other girl...

About a couple of weeks ago, i saw him at Karaoke and i asked about the girl he was interested in, and he said he no longer liked her. That it was over a long time ago, that he realised that she wasnt right for him (i had something to do with that (canoe trip)...i have met that girl a few times, she really wasnt for him, the one thing holding him back from going out with her, was a real issue for him! So, why pursue someone who does some things that you dont like? He wasnt going to change her either.)

From that nite at Karaoke he was actively dropping hints for my friend, who was actively dropping hints with him a few weeks before he started. But his hints were confusing her...and on our Blue Mts trip she was really pissy because of him. On the trip i advised her to sort of think to herself that nothing was going to happen between them, so that she could get some sleep - she was turning into an insomniac! And if he did later on, make a move, then it would be a sweet surprise and she could enjoy it more!

She remained quite peeved throughout the trip.

Its been a week since the trip, and i guess she can be less pissy and get some sleep now. I'm happy that my work has been done. I'm glad that the truth has come out! I'm so happy that my friend has finally found someone to be cheery about!

*^_^*

P.S: They dont know i had anything to do with it, they all think that they did it themselves. I would like to keep it that way!

Are u bored, Sis?

I went to Kmart after seeing my doctor, and it was 15% off everything in store. After last nite's concert, i was inspired to get some fabric paints and embellish my own tops.

I thought i remembered Kmart selling fabric paint, thats why i went there in the first place, but they didnt have any. I bought a tone of other things instead. I bought some acrylic paints, 2 DVDs, a bra and matching bottom (a gift to myself), plain white singlets, some cd cases, some CD-Rs. Since i bought the acrylics, i thought i should find some quality paint brushes. I also thought i should get some mounted canvas so i would have something to paint on.

I went to the Factory Outlet in Liverpool and bought a bundle of canvas, paper, brushes, pallettes, etc, cos the store was closing down in 5 days. I also bought an easel! Yes, i bought an easel. Its 1 metre long, very pretty, with 3 legs, and it has its own carry bag. So, if i really wanted to, i could bring it everywhere!

I then headed to Spotlight to get some fabric paints, i figured that they would have some! And yes they did. I bought some more paint brushes, these were specifically for fabric paints.

When i got back from doing all this shopping, took about 3 hours, i went inside the house and my brother asked what i had bought? So, i told him. He looked at me and asked if i was bored???

I thought for a moment.

Yes, i am bored. Far from being mentally stimulated. I need an outlet. Now that im no longer studying, i might as well pursue more creative hobbies.

Oh, and by the way...i spent up a storm!
-_-"

Fun filled weekend...

This entry is ultra long, please read this only if u have the time to do so. Don't say that i didnt warn u! =P

Saturday: I woke up at 7am and got ready by 7:55am and waited until my friends picked me up. They didnt arrive until 8:20am. We headed out to Krispy Kreme in Penrith to meet up with everyone else. We got there at 9am on the dot as per requested. We hung around there for an hour and half - some wanted to get breakfast and others went to Wooleys. We got some groceries and then headed for Blue Mts. We stopped at the Hydro and i told everyone that i would tell all that that was where we were staying, but i wont lie. I took a couple of fotos there though. I'm such a tourist! =P

We then left to go to our motel and got settled in. We all figured that we would go and eat before horsey riding. So, we went to a local pub just a walk away. The air was really crisp and clean...i had one of the best vege burgers ever at the pub. I really enjoyed pity i was on the last days of my detox and i couldnt appreciate the chips! =( My friends were more than happy to polish them off for me! *LoL*

After lunch, we went back to the motel...then headed to the farm where we were going to go horseback riding. It was a really nice location, although the dirt road would have better suited a rally car not a little hatch or any of the sedans my friends were driving. We had to sign a disclaimer, in case of falling off the horse which worried me a little...it was my first time. My horse's name was Dusty. She was a creamy coloured horse who really liked this other horse named Billy. Where ever Billy went, Dusty would be on his tail. I was on the third horse from the guide and it was fun the horse started walking along, but the first time she started trotting, i almost got thrown off. I didnt expect it and i wasnt sure what to do - ur suppose to sorta stand to lessen the impact of the bouncing.

I took some fotos when we walked through the valley. It was quite scary as we climbed a mountain side. The path was like 50 cms wide, and some of our horses loss their footing and slid a little. Freaked a few of us out, because we didnt really want to fall and tumble down the mountainside where there were heaps of sharp rocks. I felt sorry for Dusty...there came a time about 1.5 hours into the trip...Dusty was sort of limping...i kept apologising to her, telling her how sorry i was, this fat arse on her back.

It was a fun experience, but i dont think ill ever go again, i felt really bad for the horses. When i got off the horse my left knee felt really jarred. I dont think i was sitting on her properly. I finally decided to end my detox (although, 2 days early) because on the way back to the motel after dinner my best friend and i bought some Magnum - yes it was the Vice Cream, she really needed it, and i wanted it when i saw it! Then, we celebrated a friend's birthday with a blueberry cheesecake...like it was perfect timing...i couldnt resist! hahaha

Thankfully, when i got back to our room after all the desserts, i did some yoga stretches and when i woke up on Sunday, i didnt feel a single ache. Although, one of my friends, she was hurting really really badly because when she got back from horse riding - she set up Mahjong and 4 of them played until 2am. They didnt really want to give up because they had made a bet and the stakes were quite high. The three losers would have to buy breakfast, lunch and dinner for the person who won 5 games first. (They still havent finished off the bet yet, its to be continued!)

Sunday: We woke up at about 7:30am and bummed in bed still gossiping. One by one we got ready and everyone headed to Katoomba for a big breakfast before we all went to Echo Point to bushwalk. We decided to go and eat at this cafe called "Cafe Trehearne". I ordered a Hot Caramel drink, and a Full Breakfast: bacon, eggs, sausages, potato rotise, mushrooms & toast. Its funny when u go to a outer suburb or NSW and because there is very little asians living around there, the moment u do see asians, u notice them. When three of us girls went inside to claim a table (we had to split up because there was 13 of us and the largest table sat 6 people) there was this table of 4 asian guys...and its a bit daunting...because they followed our every move. In some ways it was flattering. They were continuously checking us out. My friends bf left to go to work that morning and would return for the Murder Mystery dinner that nite, so she was one of the single girls that day. I told her my observations and she noticed it too...we then told our other friend, who was oblivious to it. She decided to test it out by getting up and walking to the other table to speak to someone about something...and we watched their eyes follow her every move. We just cracked up every time one of the guys went to the Men's room...they would come back and before they sat down, they would stare and linger for a long time before they would actually sit down.

Can i just say, i was impress with the music the Cafe was playing...i was swaying in my seat...Michael Buble, all the way! *sigh*

We headed off to Kmart afterwards as some friends still needed some props for the Murder Mystery. We stood outside in the freezing cold and when they came out i saw this couple wearing shorts. The girl had a jumper on, while the guy was just wearing a t-shirt and shorts! Like, wtf? We all hopped into the car and went to Echo Point. Searching for parking was really bad...we circled a couple of blocks a few times.

When we all met up, we decided to go walk to down to the 3 sisters, and then did a walk that took 1.5 hours. Going down stairs is fine, although, technically it jarrs ur knees. Climbing the stairs on the way back was painful! With each step i took, the lactic acid in my thigh increased! *yuck* One of my friends were buddied up with one of the guys for the last leg...we charged up those stairs like we were training for combat, cos we realised that it was nearly due time for the parking meter! *doh!*

Since our breakfast was more like brunch...we didnt eat until it was like 10:45am...so we didnt have lunch. When we got back to our room, we just pigged out on junk food! *LoL* I had the spinach and fetta pull apart from Bakers Delight...the taste of bread...*oh how i miss u so much!* One by one, again, we got ready...but tonite we were dressing up for our Murder Mystery - The Great Chef.

I decided not to wear my short skirt and heels in the freezing cold and opted to wear my jeans first and change in the toilet once we got to Balmoral Guest House. The place was very 1940's, which suited the mood of the mystery. And the food was so delicious...or it could have been the simple fact that i hadnt had any meat for 20 days now that made it so yum...

Entree was a pumpkin soup that had a distinct lemon grass taste to it, which really spiced it up and warmed up my tummy! Main was a 1/4 roast chicken with gravy and steamed veges. Dessert was an apple and berry crumble with double cream on the side and a strawberry to garnish. I got a small scoop...pity...cos i was waiting for the dessert! *RoFL* =P

There was an eerie feel to the place which set the mood for the killing of the Chef - Alan Davies. Everyone got their champagne, while i got my apple juice...and then we all got our scripts...One by one we got up in front of the group and read or acted out our lines. Joe the Slasher ended up being a Kung fu fighting gangster that kept stabbing people between lines, and doing high kicks!
*it was so funny!*

George the Pot Cleaner had an infatuation with Paula the Singer...and he kept saying to her: "...isn't it *pause* Paula?" My friend played this character pretty funny...each time he would read out a line, he'd pause and scour his prop - a pot! It was like those "artistic" poetry readings that were sorta interactive...it sounded a bit like a rap in between also.

General Davies, the Chef's brother was the Best Dressed (in character) in my opinion...even with a safari hat! General Davies was lusting after his sister in law - Mary Davies who was interested in the General cos her hubby was a cheating bastard with many a mistress on the sidelines, who kept his wife hidden from the world! Paula the Singer was one of these mistresses, and her father Fred the Butcher (this was revealed towards the end) was not too happy about this. He also supplied the meat to the Chef and the Cooking Institution, but the Great Chef wanted to cut him off by using a different supplier...he didnt like this fact either.

To me, Fred had the most motive, all the clues supported what we thought except for one. I was picked to adjudicate the group when we tried to agree on the murderer. I said out of jest, but i also suspected that it was be the least expected suspect, that it may have been "Katie the Secretary to the Chef"...I said that my idea may sound bogus, but what if her husband (William, who was only briefly mentioned as not being present in their home when Katie left the Institute that Saturday) and Katie had something to do with it. That her husband went to war - to tie in with the story and she knew how to use the murder weapon...? The group went back to thinking it was Fred.

We ended the night with a little walk around the Guest House...but i decided to stay in the Sitting Room, so that i could make a quick bolt to the car. I couldnt be buggered to change back to my jeans cos everyone sorta up and left before i could...I had changed from my heels to my warm boots earlier on before dessert...and when my friend unlocked his car, i bolted from the front door of the Guest house to the car door. I gotta tell you, that was the most freezing 10 seconds of my life, cos as i ran, my short skirt flounced up, catching a lot of the icy breeze! *grrr*

When we got back to the motel, we had a very funny Charade episode, Boys Vs Girls! Bourne Identity is a laugh and a half...when u give it to a guy to do. They always do the standing version of a woman giving birth, and when all else fails, the boys always go on the backs and do the lying down version of a woman giving birth, in hope that their team will guess "born" and make a correlation with the movie title!

I must say that when i guessed Shrek in like a few moments...the guys were dumbfounded! The reason why i guessed it was because us girls had thought about giving that movie title to the boys to act out! We gave Anastacia to a boy and all he could do was stand their in silence, and periodically say "f***, i dunno how to do this?" ahahahahaha

One of the most ridiculous "objects" i had to show was a bloody G-String. The boys thought that it would be funny to see a girl "act" it out! They were going to give me "Bra", but that would have been way too easy! They gave one of my friends a "cucumber" to act out. The guys were giggling like little school girls, but my friend on our team guessed it in like 2 seconds flat.

And of course us girls were the first to reach the score of 15.

My eyes were buggered, i think its the prolong exposure to airconditioning at work mixed with the continual running of the heaters to counteract the freezing airconditioning (we are also situated next to the server room). But back to my point, so i decided to go back to the girl's family room and sleep, (we were playing in the boy's family room). But when i got back and brushed my teeth my friend already in bed wasnt sleeping and wanted to chat...and soon the other girls returned. One friend couldnt sleep. So, she calls one of the boys and asked what they were doing? He said that they were all in bed, but were still up "talking". So she asked if she could come over and listen as she was still wide awake at 2am.

She then threatened us, that if we didnt go over she would talk about us to the boys...i unwillingly grabbed my sleeping bag, popped my boots on and trudged over with another friend. We got in and the "talk" was good. Good for insight, understanding, and building our friendship. I think i understand the boys more. And i think they gained insight about us girls too. So, either way, it was a beneficial D&M (as one friend termed it during a game of Taboo). Mentioning "taboo"...when we were talking into the wee hours of the day we breached some "taboo" topics, and one friend was very frank and explicit. When we drove home, he asked if it was something that we felt uncomfortable about talking, to guys even? My friend and i in the same car said no it wasnt...i expressed that with my girl friends from high school may feel abit "funny" but i was fine with it!

We all went to bed at about 3:30-4:00am. Some boys were snorring half way through the convo.

Monday: We woke at about 8am, one by one got ready and packed our bags ready to leave. The grocery that we bought, we had decided to go to a picnic area and have as brunch. Then, drive home to have an early dinner somewhere local. We went to Wentworth Falls. Had the food and the group split up to play various things. Some boys set up cricket and played, whilst us girls and some boys were preparing to play some game, which i cant remember the name of, but it was sorta like Bullrush, but not really.

The first go was disqualified cos one girl ran before i said go. The second go was between 2 boys and one of the boys, when he was running to homebase, he dived & slid, doing an action like a touchdown. Only he skidded along some rocks and got injured on his hands and arms. Luckily, there were 3 pharmacists, 3 physiotherapists, and 2 lawyers present.

We decided to quit playing anything rough and chose to play Hot Streak. It was hilarious. One friend said to me Cleopatra and i said in answer to her clue "pharaoh?". I was right, i turned to the next player and said "think pyramid, sphinx is for...?" and then she turned to the next player and her clues were way off...she was talking about the Australian Anthem...? O_o My clue was a bit dodge, but she got the correct word. I think better clues should have been: "Another name for an Egyptian King, Tutenkhamun was a...?, Hatsheptsut was a female...?"

The boys who were playing cricket was playing on the slope of the hill...so it was bound to happen that the ball would be lost at some stage. When they lost the ball, they came over and we did a Boy Vs Girl challenge of Taboo in the Park. Guys tried to swindle a seafood dinner out of us as the prize for the winners. The boys won first round, then the girls won the second round, and then the boys won the final round. I never agreed to dinner, I voiced that from the start! =P

After the game of Taboo, we decided to go for a bushwalk to the Falls, since we were there. When we got down there, we saw this pretty rainbow where the waterfall was. It seemed like the water was being pushed into the atmosphere by the strong winds and the sun just illuminated the drops of water as they rose. Very pretty! =)

We decided to leave after we got back from the walk. We headed home but were going to stop for dinner. We thought since it was a Public Holiday, we were better off going to an asian restaurant. So, we did, and i quite enjoyed it. Let me recap the drive home...

We were listening to a cd M had quickly prepared before we left Sydney...Salt N Pepper's Push It was on and the driver of the car said "Lets do car dance moves for this song...something like this..." and he showed us some hand movements, M modified it to a more girly move. I gotta admit, the whole choreographing dance moves to songs like Usher's Yeah, and some other songs that i cant remember the title of, just made the ride home in traffic fun and quicker.

We had a bit more of the D&Ms...the funniest part was when i asked a friend about a comment he made about me, that he was shy about telling me to my face...fearful that i would be offended. He clarified with a comparison and his hand action, which happened to make M all cheery, claiming he was sweet for giving me such a compliment. I told him that his compliment would keep me happy for at least 3 months! Before i would need another compliment! ahahahhaa

We got back to familiar turf and the driver needed a quick toilet break, so we turned up at the restaurant after everyone else...We, at our table, decided to have a Seafood Steamboad and in the name of being Asian...i got a grass jelly drink too! *LoL* The boys said that they wanted to do Steamboat at someone's place...guess who needs to co-ordinate and organise it? >_<

It was all in all a very enjoyable weekend. I do claim that it was one of the best weekends i've had away in a while now, and it was the first time i went away with the boys from highschool too.

As we all parted to go home and rest, we all hugged and said goodbye. We dropped M off first, and then the boys were going to drop me off there after. The driver was going in the right direction but ended up at another friends house, because he turned left not right to go to my street! *LoL* he said it was a reflex when he got to our area. The last two people insisted that we get the newbies to buy the seafood for the steamboat once the organisation was underway! (I personally think its slack) According to them, there was no point in seniority if we didnt abuse it! Seafood for 12 or more people is expensive. So slack those guys...but it was funny! *LoL*

Hope...less

I walked thru the doors after the gym last nite and i saw the handcarry bag in the hallway.

I said to my father: "She's going to Vietnam, isnt she."

I walked into their bedroom. She looked flustered and frantic. She just got word...She wasnt well...in the hospital...my cousin in Melbourne was worried.

I went about to make my drinks in the kitchen, and she came in shortly, looking for the camera, film, medicines - just in case she felt sick overseas. She just...didnt know where everything was. Although, she was the one who put them in their places. So, everything she said she couldnt find - i got for her, even though it was right under her nose. She tried to hang this bag up, and got really frustrated when it wouldnt stay, so i took the bag off her, and hung it up for her.

I've seen her like this before...i felt sad in anticipation.

She said she felt empty this morning, like something was missing. I told her that she was just really worried, unable to sleep, which is why she felt funny.

She told me to call her during my lunch, to confirm if she got a ticket or not for an evening flight. So, i called her today at a quarter past 1. She said that she got a ticket to a flight that was stopping all over the place, but it was the earliest our travel agent could find to book. She asked if i could leave work early, i said i would ask my manager.

My manager was nice, he asked if i wanted to leave then...so i did.

I got home, and once again she was really frantic...trying to finish all of her work and trying to get the house in order before she left. I did the little chores, and asked her not to worry about the other odds and ends...that i would fix them up after. She said she couldnt, that it was right in front of her face. I think she was nervous and wanted to keep the momentum of doing something, instead of waiting aimlessly.

I got in the car with her when it was time to leave, she advised me to call my cousin after 8pm and ask my cousin to get her brother in Vietnam to pick Mum up at the airport. I said i would.

Right as she got out of the car when we got to the airport, she reminded me again to call my cousin. I said i would.

So, there Mum was...heading to Vietnam to see Her.

When i got home from the airport, it was 10 to 8. So, i decided to pack the rest of my gear for the long weekend.

My little brother called out to me that it was 8pm. So, i went and called my cousin in Melbourne. I told her what Mum asked me to tell her. She said that her brother couldnt. He rang earlier to say that it was really hectic back home. That she herself would have to take a taxi when she got to Vietnam tomoro. She said that she should be meeting Mum. I told her that Mum wasnt stopping in Melbourne before Bangkok anymore, that she was going straight from Sydney to Bangkok to Ho Chi Minh city.

My cousin told me again that her brother couldnt pick Mum up. The reason he couldnt was because She had past away.

She had been put in a casket.

They were all preparing for Her funeral.

So, here i am. Stuck. I cant call Mum, she is on a plane right now. I cant call her to say that my cousin in Vietnam wont be picking her up, so she needs to catch a taxi.

Even more stuck, because i cant tell her what she really needs to know. That we have lost Her. That she missed out on saying her good byes to Her. That she cant see Her face for the last time, because the casket is closed. That i should be there for her instead of here wishing that i was.

Cheeky Salad Flirt...

I have been eating lunch at this place for 3 working days in a row...
It all started with me meeting up with M for lunch at Macquarie Centre last Friday. I had a really yummy pumpkin soup that day, but i thought i should try a salad on Monday. And there must be something in the dressing because when i woke up today, i just felt like a salad again.

It may be also that its Day 15 of my detox, and im just fruit and vege crazy...but that honey and mustard dressing...makes me salivate.

The concept is that u pick ur salads, and they toss it for you with whatever dressing you want ($6 + $0.50 per extras like chicken, avocado, etc). Same thing goes for the pastas...u pick the pasta, ingredients and sauce...and they toss it for u. Cheeky Salads is owned by Harris Farms...well the owner of Harris Farms provided the funds for his son to open this store. The son runs and works at "Cheeky Salads".

Its funny, Mr Harris was there on Friday explaining to M and i the "concept" of cheeky Salads and who was the brains behind it...why it was called "Cheeky Salads" - apparently for cheeky girls like us! ahahaha

I went in today to fulfil my craving...and i gotta tell you, as a salad tossing person, ur in a prime position to pick up chicks (because they toss your salad while u wait to pay...they ask for your name to put on the white chinese take out boxes). As i got there after the lunch time rush, there wasnt much of a queue. I was paying before my salad was there to be paid for. So, my salad tossing friend didnt write my name on my box.

I chatted to the owner, the son, while i waited and he obviously recognised me from coming in 3 working days in a row...i explained that i had a craving for the salad this morning and that i thought they had spiked the dressing! He said he did lace it, with a very very little amount of cocaine! *giggle* Then he seriously asked which dressing, and i said the "Honey-mustard"...and he said that it was "the really good salad dressing"...hahahhaa

Then my salad came out and cos my name wasnt on the box, he took the marker and wrote "junkie" on it. I paid for my salad and he winked when he passed the box to me and i read what he wrote. *hehehe*

I'm such an easily smitten person...im not ga-ga over him...im just flattered, its nice when people notice you!
=)

petals the precious pedantic posey...

I feel ashamed of myself.

I'm in denial...thought i could fool everyone...especially u.

I've succeeded in fooling no one but u...

Perhaps ur as naive as i am?

I should let go, but ur still there.

And if i needed u, u would be here.

I should let go, but u want me to hold on.

And if i wanted u to, u would hold me tight.

Lets end the game.

Lets no longer fuss.

I'm at a forked road...

I'll go left, u go right.

Guilt...

I walk into the hallway at work and i smell some relly fabulous smelling pasta...it smelt like a homemade lasagne...

I actually felt guilty for inhaling the cheesy-herby smell...

Day 10 of detox...i need to hold on for another 11 days...

***

U know when ur an integral part of the company...when u have to train the trainee other people's responsibilities...and u also have to do a few other people's jobs whilst ur in the process of training the newbie.

My workmate says i will never be retrenched, they need me too much, i pick things up extremely fast, im malleable. I didnt think that i learnt much in the 6 months i have been with the company...but it seems like, to the company, that i know too much...know too many people...the clients like me - well the sound of my voice.

Since the company's ethos is based on the clients, client service & satisfaction...and since im pretty much the face of the company...they cant get rid of me.

heh...good-o for me...

=(

Gone missing...

Dont u just hate it when something of urs goes missing?

I mean i dont really mind if its an obscure thing...like a top i dont wear often...and then the day i want to wear it, it goes AWOL on me...but its my fault for not paying attention i guess...

But what really bugs me is when something that u often use, and u leave in the same place so that it doesnt go missing, does just that...go missing!

Its like, if you wear glasses and one day you wake up and its gone from the beside table, where u left it before u went to bed...uno what i mean? Then you scramble to find it and u feel handicapped because you need it...but dont have it, and u just dont know where else it can be...other than its usual spot.

My big brother bought me this keyring with my name spelt out in those beads, uno like from those asian cutesy stores. He bought it from HK before it was a craze here. It had a little bell on it too.

A year later it broke.

My bf at the time got me another to replace it. I added the bell from my bro's keyring on to the one my bf got me. Why? That bell sort of gives my mother a piece of mind. She can hear it a mile away...the moment i walk up the drive way to the house door, she knows its me. im home and im safe.

I'm sure i saw it when i got home from the gym last nite...and im sure i saw it this morning when i just got into work. So, between work and getting home - it went missing. When i got to work, i put the keys on my desk...and then i put it into my bag...i've searched my bag...i emptied it and tipped it upside down. nothing.

I noticed it missing right before going to the gym tonite. I checked my gym bag, just in case it came off the nite before...my gym bag was emptied and tipped upside down also. nothing. I went to the gym and as i walked up to the front desk, i searched the floor...when i got home from the gym i searched my car and my driveway...which is sorta hard in the dark. *derr petals*

I got in the house and searched my bag again. still nothing.

I'm upset because its a simple keyring, that i thought was firmly attached to the actual ring, but all i have now is that ring and no name, no bell.
=(

In some ways, the sense of security that it offers is lost too.

Fun Professions...

I was thinking about what i would like to do as an alternate career...i came up with a few ideas as i was driving home from work last nite...i would really like to do something fun and something in which i can feel passionate about. I would also like to see an end product or feel satisfied that what i did contributed to a greater good in some way.

So a short list of some really fun things that i would like to do (but may not be qualified for) are:

* Rally car driver...not a navigator...and its not because i cant read maps...that is something i can do, but i just wouldnt want to be the one responsible for stuffing up the driver! *LoL*
* Cartoonist...i think it would be fun, i would get to draw, follow through the production...all my blood sweat and tears, and then see the end product on the big screen!
* A car crash testing engineer...this would be like taking ur stress out every day at work! hehehehe...not that i really know what they do at work. I'm being quite imaginative with this one...im picturing a guy standing behind the testing area, pressing a button to launch the cars so that they can hit the wall, and then see how much damage was done. hahaha. And then repeating the process at varied speeds...
* Photographer...i wouldnt mind being a professional photographer...its cool when a good photographer takes nice pictures of you...i've had two professional photo sessions and the complimentary one i had done turned out way prettier than the one i paid for. It all comes down to the simple fact that it was the skills of the photographer...altho i paid less for one...that photographer was more skilled than the other. And btw...she was better than the guy! =P
* A cake decorator...I look at pretty wedding cakes with delight. Knowing that whoever had ordered it to be done would be so happy with such a pretty cake! I wouldnt mind being the cake decorator, if my creations made the bride happy...that would be my job done! (And yes its more important to the bride...which is why i focused on her...altho if the groom was happy too...then i would be doubly happy!)
* A personal shopper to some stars, or a stylist...I LURVE SHOPPING! Now what would be more better for a shopaholic, than to go shopping everyday, spending other peoples money and bringing back goodies to make them look gorgeous? I like buying things for other people as much as i like buying things for myself...and if i dont have to spend my money when buying something for the other person...thats like icing on the cake! ;)
* Owning a funky tea house...I like tea houses...I like herbal teas...I would like to spread my joy of tea to others...and then take over the world! *RofL*
* A Designer of shoes...another thing i lurve...*drools*...i lurve shoes as much as clothes, or maybe more...i own over 70 pairs...i stopped counting after 50...otherwise my mother would tell me off for having too many shoes...but being a designer of shoes would mean that i could have any shoe i designed or had ever desired...and i could make them comfortable! *all girls swoon*
* Jewellery maker...i make earrings/necklaces/bracelets right now...beaded stuf only...but what i would really like to learn is how to make jewellery out of gold and silver and using real gems! *wooo* ^_^

Lets see what happens after Europe next year...