Movie ticket for one...

Is it that sacrilegious to go to the cinemas and watch a movie on your own?

I don't think so.

And I went today on my own. I was hoping to catch Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but missed it by 15 minutes. So, I opted to watch The Other Boleyn Girl instead. And I got to admit that I really enjoyed the movies...on my own...its like watching a dvd at home...on your own...the only difference is the size of the screen.

What do I have to say about the movie itself? Well, I'm pretty sure that it isn't historically accurate or sound. But, since I can't remember much about Anne Boleyn, although I did study her in history back in high school, I really enjoyed it.

If I don't check my watch during the movie, then it wasn't boring.

If I don't continually munch on my lollies, then it was engaging.

If I don't think, "WTF?" at the end of the movie, then it satisfied my need to have a clear ending.

I can't say it was the best movie I had ever watched, but I enjoyed it and it served its purpose for a Sunday afternoon. I'm not sure if I would recommend this movie to everyone...i think its a movie only for some.

Ayurve Wellness Spa...

I booked M and me an hour long relaxation massage as a birthday present for M last night. There was a promotion which enabled me to purchase 2 sessions for the price of one. Which was fabulous, I needed one soo much. And M also really needed a massage.

What I didn't anticipate was that there would be two massage beds in the same room. I was expecting the both of us to be in separate rooms, but no...we had two beds in the one room! *LoL*

I never experienced a massage with another person in the room before. Not that it really made a difference, but it was odd all the same. The two massage therapists were matched to our different heights. The taller one massaged me, and the shorter therapist massaged M.

I told my massage therapist that I had a sore back from doing weights at the gym, so she concentrated on my back longer than the rest of me. But had I known better, I should have told her to concentrate on my traps and shoulders and my head. She only massaged my scalp and head 3 times quickly before the hour ended and it felt so good I didn't want her to stop.

M also wished that her massage therapist spent 30 minutes on her scalp and head and neck.

Next time...

I really needed the massage. This week has been stressful. I know, its my second last week...why am I stressing? Well, the company has just realised that I know all the finances for the program (over a 2 yr period), and nobody else has a clue whether their position is good or bad? Their client has no clue either. How ridiculous is that? I'm the only one...a contractor mind you...who knows where their financial position stands. So, I have been stuck doing more financial reports than I could ever recall, and I'm not even a finance person. I have a meeting with their client next week...grrr...to explain to a board of men how much money had flowed between the two companies.

I know its late and I should go to sleep...but I can't be bothered right now.

I actually need to do work over the long weekend.

*sigh*

Lars and the real girl...

I went to Dendy's Opera Quays last night...I've forgotten how much I enjoy going to the cinemas at Dendy's at CQ.

I had wanted to watch Lars and the real girl when I found out that Ryan Gosling was in it. I really enjoyed Half Nelson and no, it is not because of The Notebook...I still haven't watched it yet and probably never will!

If you are after a feel good, offbeat comedy that is done really well, this is the movie to watch. Might be a tad sappy for the blokes...but I loved it. I was actually moved to a point where I got teary eyes...M was moved too...she really needed a tissue while we were in the cinema, but her male friend was sitting between us and I didn't know she needed one until the movie ended and we got out.

Don't get the wrong impression...its not a cry-fest or anything like that. Its a feel good movie after all. Its just that there are moments that tug on the heart strings...there are moments where you feel what the characters feel...there are moments where you feel warm and fuzzy and it brings a tear to your eye...

AND there is a lot of laughs...I laughed quite a lot actually...to a point that I started getting self conscious about it.

Briefly, Lars likes keeping to himself and lives in the garage, while his brother and sis in law live in the house he grew up in. He is a really good hearted, genuinely nice guy...but he obviously has a problem. Whether the problem is big or small...or just an anti-social behaviour...well, you can watch and decide that.

One day he brings a girl home and asks his brother and sis in law if they can put her up in a spare room in the house, because she is religious and it wouldn't be appropriate for her to share the garage with him. He tells them that she is shy and doesn't speak much and that she is in a wheel chair. The girl is in fact an anatomically correct, life sized doll called Bianca.

I'm not going to tell you what else happens, because that would spoil the fun. But trust me...this is a gem of a movie. If you like movies like Napoleon Dynamite or Little Miss Sunshine, if you are a Ryan Gosling fan, if you are looking for something different to watch - I would highly recommend this movie.

*^_^*

Friend...no more.

You know, it really irritates me that since you found yourself someone that the only time you contact me is when you need my help!

You don't contact me via msn to just say "hi, how are you?" And you don't even remember my birthday to send a quick sms reading "Happy B'day"...or belated since you forgot!!! Heaven forbid that you actually email me or even forward a funny email to me...

I sent you a really nice and pleasant sms for your birthday. And I would have called if I was certain that you were by yourself, I mean, I wouldnt want to cause a rift between you and your new special someone. I sent you something along the lines of "Happy Birthday! I would wish that all your dreams come true, but it seems like all have come to fruition except the dream job...so I hope you get that soon!" I mean, how nice is that?!?!

What did i get from you??? Nothing.

Instead on the second day after my birthday I get a msn window popping up at work with a "Hi, how are you?"...sounding all pleasant and promising...BUT it was directly followed by a "I need some advice from you..."

There was no - "hey, sorry I missed your birthday - Happy belated B'day"...

All i got was "I need some advice..." Like WTF???

I'm not your f#$%ing "Go To Girl". And even when I was running around in between meetings and left a voicemail on your phone letting you know I was available to chat now and help you out, you would think that out of common decency, you would have sms'd or called me back to let me know that you have figured something out. Instead of waiting for me to give you a call back to offer my time to help you out...even though you.have.worked.it.out!

And you would think that after I did somersaults for you, you would be a little bit more pleasant with me, especially since you have been a bad friend and you also forgot my birthday...BUT NOoooooooo...you turn around and give me attitude!

How would you feel if you were in my shoes?

When someone you use to hang out with all the time, suddenly finds someone and so they disappear out of your life, and they only contact you out of the blue moon when they need you...how would you feel? A little bit used?

Literally, you have contacted me 2 times since you decided to go MIA. Once after my trip to KL/SG to ask for help about your intimate relationship with your partner (which by the way, made me feel really uncomfortable) and yesterday being the second time - asking me for advice about your career.

Would you feel crappola, knowing that this supposed friend only called or msged when they needed you for their benefit and their benefit alone.

I'm not a welcome mat...I'm most definitely not your's to use...so go F$#% your self!

Thank you to everyone...

Just a quick "Thank You" to everyone who celebrated with me last night!

I had a fabulous time and it is a shame that I had two drinks ending with "death" that really didn't do me any favours at the end of the night.

I swayed into the house and slept really well but woke up at 7:30am...and I was like a kid on Christmas Day in the living room. I opened the presents and read all the cards and was really moved by the fact that my friends had chosen presents that really were "me".

Its funny how each of you worry about what to get me, and you really shouldnt. I have the best friends and each of you know exactly what to get me - even though you aren't 100% sure at the time of purchase...but you go with your gut and i'm extremely surprised and overwhelmed that you know me so well.

Thank you for thinking of me and being there with me and keeping me company all night.

*mwah*

Sometimes, I even surprise myself...

I went into an interview with no expectations...but before I did, I actually went with a girlfriend for her first bridal dress fitting as moral support because of the disaster she had previously...so I was rushing left, right, and centre.

I thought I was running late for my interview at 2pm...in St Leonards...but I ended up being 10-15 minutes early. I decided with the wind, it would be best to hide in the foyer behind closed doors, rather than brave the strong gusts outside. I spoke to the receptionist, signed in, sat down and waited.

It was an interview for nothing specific. They were sent a resume, my resume and for some reason two Program Managers liked what they saw. They asked if I would meet them. So, here I was.

One came down, introduced himself and shook my hand and ushered me outside to a cafe, apologising for the other's delay and explaining why we were going to a cafe and not a meeting room. Apparently, meeting rooms are hard to come by in this office. I wonder to myself if this is a good sign?

We sit down, he orders a flat white, I order a hot chocolate...little bit of intro and the other manager appears. A little more of an intro and then I get grilled. Then comes the compliments..."you're so confident, where does that come from?" "Thats a good answer, but don't you think it could be this, or that?" etc...

I clarify with my "confident" answers...I'm confident because I'm not riding on this interview to get me a job. I had no expectations...which is always the best way to walk into an interview. After having a 3-way conversation, talking about the projects more in detail, I basically made them feel good about me and my skills and talent.

I'm asked about whether I am "technical", there is hesitation...I explain myself...they are extremely happy with my answer...I get asked what the difference between a URL and the IP Address? I think to myself...don't you know? How do I answer this??? *panic* Well, one is the web address in human terms - words; while the IP is the techie, computer version of the address, were talking numerics. My response sufficed...apparently their PMs wouldn't be able to answer that...and i'm thinking they are bs-ing with me.

I am asked what kind of manager I am? I tell them I focus on people. I always try to balance things for my engineers. Yes, I understand that deliverables need to be met by yesterday but there is no reason why I would have to make the people I work with miserable. It doesn't help with productivity and it doesn't help meeting the deliverables any sooner. Mind you, that doesn't mean I am incapable of being firm and assertive.

I think we chatted for 30 minutes and they offered me a role...we spent another 20 minutes or so sitting there, with the two of them trying to get out of me what they can do to make me say yes. And i drew a blank when they asked me "what can we say or do to make you choose us, other than the other company?"

I was upfront and told them that i was expecting a offer this week by another company. I would really like to work for this other company because I like the culture and what they have to offer me. Something that is unique that they don't offer at theirs. I told them that I would take a couple of days to think...they asked if the weekends were included??? They asked if this other company took too long, would i choose them? They really want me to work with them.

I did come up with something that I wanted to clarify straight up...I told them about my Aunt's wedding in NYC and my friend's wedding in Mauritius...would they let me take 2-3 weeks off over late August and early September?

They said that if I asked later, it would be No, but since I am asking now, the answer is Yes.

I have spoken to a few people and I have decided to take this role. But its not simply because everyone is telling me how good this company is...that it is internationally recognised...that the pay is good...that I will be properly recognised as a PM...it all comes down to my gut feeling.

I feel good about this move. I feel good that they want me so badly that they are drawing up the contract so that I can have it ASAP. They are basically under the impression that the other company still have their cards on the table, so they are trying their best to beat this company with a better hand.

Compared to the other companies I have been interviewing with, I actually "felt the love"...so why would I go anywhere but to a company that wants me?

3 Dresses...

You know that old saying "...always the bridesmaid, never the bride..." and the recent movie where Katherine Heigl plays a girl who was a bridesmaid 27 times?

I'm starting to feel that way.

My aunt just asked me to be one of her bridesmaids for her wedding in NYC.

This will be the 3rd time that I will be a bridesmaid, if I accept. And I haven't yet...is it horrible to say no? I love her and I really want to be at her wedding, but I don't know if I want to be at her wedding as a bridesmaid!!!

I know its completely stupid, but it feels as though if I was a bridesmaid for the 3rd time, I will forever be stuck as a bridesmaid. I will be committed to spinsterhood and will die a terribly lonely death. [melodramatic violins playing in the background over my plight]

Its sad that I can't just say yes and be honoured that she considered me.

Its not like every day that someone asks you to stand beside them on their special day. But then I have had my fair share of experience as a bridesmaid. The last time is still fresh in my memory. The bad side of the experience is still vivid, even though I have accepted what had happened and have moved on.

What do i do? What should i say? Is there any way of telling her "no" without hurting her feelings? Can I really say no???

Happy April Fools Day!!!

Its the first of April.

I'm so grateful that its over. My part of transitioning is over. The ugly bit is only starting to begin - but for other people. My clean up is stock standard, and i'm not under pressure to make things continually roll. But from my sources, things are not rolling all that much on the other end...*LoL*...so, its making me look really good!!!

I feel miserable that the team has disbanded. Really wished that the people werent moving on, because I miss them already. My pod is almost empty, except for 2 other people.

On the upside...there isn't anyone I directly report to over here...so technically, I get to be my own boss! hehehe...how great is that? The other colleague is a PM too...and I'll be on his program for 25% of my time, but he doesn't micro manage and sees me on the same level.

One of the financial accountants said something to me last Friday that has really stuck, and I never saw myself as so important...I'm the only one in the company to personally handle something that directly benefits them. Its a bit confusing to those who don't know what I am referring to, but for the company it means a lot.

I'm getting excited about this Saturday...last weekend has been crazy with the Easter Show and shopping with 4 squealing kids. This weekend will be a mish mash of different friends from different facets of my life, all coming together over Brazilian BBQ meat and live entertainment!

So, does anyone know if they will be serving sangria?

There's something about Cherry...

My world is spiralling and its going out of control. I'm surrounded by 4 extremely energetic kids 8 y.o and under.

Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are gonna get...and these kids, although I love them...save grace they are not mine.

I took two to the Easter Show yesterday...it was draining. The only exciting thing was leaving the showground and exiting the gate which was being manned by a cute asian guy. What made the day even better was the strawberry milkshake I had in the afternoon with some friends, and there was no kids around.

Today, I took 4 to the local Westfields to buy one of them a swimming costume. It was a nightmare and I actually sounded like one of those firm parents, chatising another kid who hopped onto the ride I paid for, for my 4 kids. The kid hopped on and was leaning out and whacked me each time he went by, so I spoke to him in a stern voice. I'm glad it shook him and he hopped off.

I'm probably pms-ing. Not a good time I guess to have 4 squealing kids around me. Makes me promise that I will never have kids to myself. Cross my heart...hope to...uno the rest of that statement!

So, 27 y/o soon. Looking forward to it? No, not really...but then again, i feel like im 20 y/o...so, it shouldnt make a difference.

I have been taken aback by someone, who has been incredibly up front with me. Basically declaring he likes me and would like to see how far it will go. I don't know what to do. We went through an interviewing process, where I asked 101 questions...a lot of it relationship based to ensure I felt comfortable with where it could potentially lead to. *sigh*

Everything is taking a toll on me. I'm drained from work. I'm drained from the kids. I'm drained from the every increasing social life (that I shouldnt be complaining about, but can't help it) and to add to everything... I get told by E that he has chosen Celine Dion over me! His justification is:

"Do you know how much those tickets cost me?"

Pub crawl...

It was meant to be a reunion...but what happened was we went, said hello, then left and strolled up the road to the Nelson Brasserie for a nice dinner and an environment much quieter than the Lowenbrau to actually talk and catch up with some friends.

My steak was great and the dark chocolate creme brulee was soo much better! The pinot noir was also lovely and smooth.

It was great to get together and have this time to just talk. Catch up with what everyone was up to in their life and what the plans were in the future. After the brasserie closed up shop we headed to the Waterloo for more drinks and more talking...we stayed there until they closed up shop...hehe...after which time, the couple went home and the singles headed to the next place close by. We bumped into another single friend and the 4 of us went into the Argyle.

There was soo much to cover, I mean it is 10 years worth of catching up. How crazy is that? I still feel as though i'm 20 and yet here I am celebrating 10 years out of high school.

Its really weird. The friend I headed to the city with also mentioned that when he was younger, he sort of saw himself in a particular light for when he was 27 y/o. He pictured that he would have achieved a certain amount of things...but he hasn't. Not sure if he is disappointed or not, but he did admit that he is happy with how things are now. So, thats a positive...i guess.

I think this has made everyone rethink their futures. It certainly has forced me to.

Happy Easter...

I hope everyone is having a Happy Easter...I'm enjoying myself, so it would be really good if everyone else is too.

Update on the poaching...lets just say I got screwed over. At the end of the day, its just business, but it doesn't change the fact that it was poorly taken care of from the start. Simple civility was ignored, or should I say non-existant. But it is over and I will move on.

I just found out something really interesting about Mum. When we were kids and wanted a puppy, she was adamantly against it. I always thought it was because she didn't like animals. That was the way she sold it to us. Yeah, there were the typical sentiments about who would look after the puppy, who would take it on walks, who would clean up the poop, etc? But I was never told the underlying reason.

It was only this morning that I learnt why she never wanted us to have a puppy.

The revelation was only because my Aunt's dog just gave birth to 3 cute pomeranians and my nieces wanted to visit their Great Aunt and see the new borns today. I asked Mum, what would happen if the girls insisted that they wanted a puppy after holding them in their hands??? Is my brother going to allow them to have a dog? Because i'll be tempted...

Mum then told me about how when she was young Grandfather had a dog and the dog obviously died. She told me about how the dog was part of the family and she was really sad when it passed on.

I guess what she was really revealing to me was the fact that she didnt want us to be traumatised by a pets death. I think this is a better reason, other than she simply hates animals and who would take care of it. And she had every right to protect us when we were kids, from the same trauma she felt when she lost her dog.

Mini high school reunion tomorrow night...how weird is that? 10 years after high school...I haven't seen most people since the last day of school.

When I was younger, especially when high school finished I wondered if anyone would ever organise a reunion and after watching movies like "Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion", I wondered what I would have achieved to share, when someone asked about my 10 years after school.

I had a list of things I wanted to achieve, to show that I was successful. But right now, I don't know if you can say what I have done so far equates to "success". Yeah, I finished uni. I have a mortgage. I'm a professional. I have business cards - 2 types to be exact. My expenses get paid by the company. I have a work mobile. I have a laptop and wireless broadband, also thanks to the company. But all of this doesn't quite amount to "success" for me.

I'm single, with no real hobbies. My profession takes up a lot of my time.

I have 2 gorgeous nieces, with another niece/nephew in the oven...but they aren't my kids...not that in the greater scheme of things, would I really want 2 kids at almost 27 y/o.

I guess I'm just in a contemplative mood now because I reconnected with a friend from high school via facebook. I think I could say that she was the dark horse who has come from the sidelines to win the race.

In an email she basically gave me the condensed version of her last 10 years.

Went to uni, studied design. Finished uni and married a pharmacist. Worked as a graphic designer for a year. Stopped to help her hubby open shop for a year. Had baby #1, became at home mum for a year. Went back to work, operating a company from home. And now has just had baby #2. Recently, she and hubby are building their dream home near Hornsby at the moment.

Compare my life to hers...I feel like I haven't achieved much.

Okay...this is a negative note to finish on...so forget about what I have said and just think about your 4 day long weekend...and enjoy.

Aggressive poaching...

This is a story about the aggressive head hunting that never happened.

I was about to make a farewell speech for a workmate on Friday afternoon. Why was I making the speech, I don't know. Its not like i'm in charge or anything. The person leaving was a manager of his own team, you would think one of them would have said something...pfft...engineers!

Well, before I could start the speech, I get a phonecall on my mobile and I am told by the person on the line that "so&so" will be contacting me over the weekend because the "poaching process" needs to be finalised by Monday.

I think to myself: "Who calls on the weekend for business?!" and I also think: "I hope when they call I am not sleeping off the night before, because I need to be alert to negotiate!"

But the call never came. I know for a fact that they do need to finalise things today...well, they really needed to finalise it by the last day of February, with me anyway. Its not a very good start. I'm disappointed and I'm sure the end person is disappointed too. On so many levels, it leaves me to be ruthless and business like for negotiations. Which is a plus.

I'm supposed to go to the dark side in a month's time...but there is no formal commitment at this point in time.

I gave my manager the heads up (the manager that pays me) that due to the circumstances, if I was offered an exceptional offer by "so&so" I would be moving on. I think he freaked out. He probably thinks that he can convince me to stay...funny that.

Lets see what will happen throughout today...

Just my luck...

I was on the guest list for The Ivy on Saturday...but trust me to have a bout of food poisoning Friday night!

I felt better Saturday lunch time, and messaged a girlfriend that I found going to the same birthday that I would meet her before the party. 30 minutes later, the symptoms I was suffering all night had hit me again and again and again...

So, I called back to cancel.

Late in the evening another girlfriend calls...pity i'm fast asleep exhausted from the food poisoning. I call her back in the morning on Sunday and she tells me she was on the guest list for The Ivy for a Chanel party and was looking for someone to go with her.

I tell her that I had plans to go too but for a birthday...but my stoopid food poisoning prevented me! We make plans for the next party that is held there...

Its unbelievable that I get hit with this now. I saw my doctor today and i still feel really bad...

I can take today off, but tomorrow and the rest of the week is vital to my project. I am supposed to have an important meeting tomorrow at 1pm too and there is a heap of financials that needs to be completed tomorrow!!!

On the up side, my aunt from NYC has selected a date for her wedding, so I will be heading off to visit her and attend the special occasion. And thankfully enough, its within a 10 days of my friends wedding in Mauritius...

I get to spend time before the wedding in NY and I get to spend time after the wedding in Mauritius.

Tickets arrived today...

My Cirque tickets arrived today...and once again im happy!
hehehe...

*^_^*

I'm also going to the Jason Mraz concert on March 25...thanks to M for buying the tickets for us.

I've got Michael Buble tickets, which i'm still waiting for, to arrive in the mail...

I've got Phantom tickets in my hot little hands too.

I sooo can't wait!

Dralion in Sydney!

I just scored 3 front row seats to Cirque du Soleil in Sydney for Mum's birthday!!!

Her birthday this year is on a Monday, so I bought tix for the Sunday at 1pm. We'll do a brunch and then go watch the show. Bought a tix for Dad too...I have a tendency to do an all girls thing, but as he has never seen it either, it will be a good experience!

I can't believe it, seats 1-3 in row AA.

Its made me all giddy and i'm smiling ear to ear...

Bluetooth...

My older bro just swapped my 6 cd stacker car stereo to a newer model 6 cd stacker car stereo that has handsfree Bluetooth connectivity.

Reason: So, I can pick up my mobile phone calls while i'm driving.

I didn't realise it was such a big deal.

I just don't pick up my mobile if it rings while i drive. I'll ring back after I get to my destination. But obviously, I have missed one too many of my brother's calls that he has taken drastic measures. *LoL*

In some ways, its good...in case I get work calls while im driving...since my mobile has a way of ringing at least once every 10 mins when we've made some changes in the change window on Monday mornings.

***

My Cuz' 21st at World Bar, Kings Cross...oh what can I say...

We managed to get out to Kings Cross and find parking by 11:30pm. Since we were on the guest list, we were in by 11:45pm. Our other cousins who were there from 10pm got kicked out by 11:20pm because one of them was drunk and vomitted...so they were walked out by security.

When we were inside, I was about to buy my Cuz a drink...but there was this Mother Hen instinct that washed over me...I just witnessed her blatantly flirting with an unknown guy who was trying to buy a pack of cigarette at a vending machine...and she has a boyfriend...so, she must have been wasted to be acting that way.

The thing is, I never went out with my cousins before...for a drink or clubbing...so, I didn't know if they drunk alot or not. I think it was just a shock to the system. I'm the oldest of all the girls in my family and obviously I would feel as though I would want to protect each and every one of them.

Its funny...the more I hang around my cousins and my younger brother and his friends for their birthdays or special occasions...I understand a mother's concern for her children. Its completely different to when I get drunk...

Its pretty controlled around me when I drink. Its not in a predatory environment like World Bar where all of my friends are completely pissed off their face either. I'm glad that my friends are reliable. I didn't want to leave my Cuz' 21st, but the cousin I went with and her bf were really tired and were my ride home...so, when they wanted to leave at 1:00am I followed suit.

Did I dance? I barely managed 1/2 of Kylie's latest - Wow, Wow, Wow! remixed in a horrible way...

***

Chloe and I bond over "So You Think You Can Dance"...she use to watch the American series with me when my lil bro's gf downloaded it for me...and now we watch the Australian TV series together. Its quite cute of her...

We also bond over Simpsons, Barbie cartoon movies, Futurama, and wildlife documentaries...oh, and cute Studio Ghibli cartoons.

21st Birthdays...

I remember my 21st birthday...it was pretty big with 100 guests...50 people were friends...50 were relatives...the restaurant gave me a 3-tier birthday cake and we shared the restaurant with a couple who were having their wedding, but I had more guests.

I made a short "Thank you" speech, but no one else spoke about me.

I guess there are some things I wish I could change, but overall, I had a fun time. Especially at the Karaoke after the dinner...

There are a number of people I know who are celebrating their 21st this year. I went to one of my cousin's 21st the other week. It was at Emperor's Garden and because her uncle on the other side of the family is a photographer, it looked as though she was having her wedding. *LoL*

She had a book for everyone to sign it, it was a photo album with professional shots when she went out with the family to Watsons Bay...very similar to a wedding book for signatures...there were name cards for the tables and to top it off, she had a birthday cake that had proper icing!!! (Which I happened to miss out on, because I had to leave early!) =(

I spoke to her the next day and she had an absolute blast...she didn't intend on going out after the dinner, but her friends coaxed her and they did something afterwards.

Tonight I'm going to a club in Kings Cross for another cousin's 21st birthday. Why is she having her party there? I'm not sure...but i'll be there tonight to help her celebrate it! I just hope the rain stays away for the night.

Meanwhile, I asked her what the dress code was and she told me to wear a dress....I asked her what music was going to be played and she said "ugly dance music"...???...I had a complete blonde moment and asked her "is that a new genre that I don't know about because I haven't been clubbing in years?" *crickets in the background*

Then something clicked and I was like "ohhh...ugly, dance music"...*LoL*

And then she warned me that it was Mardi Gras tonight...but I checked online and because of the rain during the day, the Launch party has been moved to 5pm indoors at the Supper Club...I was worried that there would be road blocks, etc...

My younger brother is also turning 21 this year, but in October. Everyone has asked what he would be doing for his birthday...but since my older brother and I had our birthday at the same restaurant, I doubt Mum will organise anything different. Its all about being fair and even with my Mum. The question is, does he want to celebrate like that?

So, back to tonight...I'll be donning my dancing shoes and hopefully the music won't be so "ugly".

Resolutions for the Year of the Rat...

Happy Chinese New Year to those who celebrate it! I wish you good health and immense joy for the new year.

I didn't make any resolutions for 2008 on the 1st of January, so I figured I would make some now.

Lately, I have been feeling as though my mind and heart are in a bitter battle. And I realise that I'm at a crossroad.

I have decided to push on with what I have...with the direction I have started with...and hope that it will all work out sooner or later. Its the same scenario with my degree. I struggled with it, and I battled with myself on whether I should change or just keep at it. And keeping at it ended up being the solution...because of it, I found my direction after all.

So, I'm hoping the same thing will happen here, again. I am hoping that if I continue with what I am doing now and continue to grow with it...then one day it will pan out and I will see something shine on the horizon and I will finally see that I have made the right choice...and realise that it has been the right choice all along.

Truth be told, as always...if I had to make another choice, I wouldn't know what else to choose.

But that bitter battle with myself, that I mentioned earlier, not sure if that one will pan out. And seeing that I am sticking to my guns, well the bitter battle will just have to struggle silently in the dark while I fight on - saving the world! Well, my world at least...

I have been slack with exercising since after being a bridesmaid. I think it took a toll on me. I still really enjoy running, but I just need to get my act together and actually put my running shoes on. So, I will ensure that I exercise at least 4 times a week.

I'm also going to learn how to be calm. I learnt patience while in Europe last year...its time to learn how to be calm in a stressful situation. Lately, I just vent...and venting isn't always healthy.

I'm also going to try and be 50% more of a "yes" person. I can't commit to being a 100% "yes" person...I know I will fail at that...so, I will try to say "yes" at least half of the time.

*^_^*

Paris je t'aime...part quatre...

Last full day in Paris before heading back to Sydney...

We were going to make the most of it. The weather was pleasant, so we walked around more and it was on this day when I realised that I was just seeing the true Paris...on my final full day.

=(

We started the day by visiting the Musee d'Orsay and then we walked through the Jardin des Tuileries. After the garden we went to see the Petite and Grand Palais and I fitted a spot of shoe shopping, before we headed back to the apartment to meet up with the owner to get our security bond back.

Musee d'Orsay was really big and it took up half of the day. We only left because we both got hungry. Its like one of the best galleries if you are interested in Renoir, Monet, Van Gogh, et al. I was in awe and was busy taking photos of the paintings (without flash) and statues...as you do...

The most stand out feature I noticed when we walked through the Tuileries was a large tree with gold/orange/brown leaves, all ready to drop off the branches if some strong wind whipped by. It was the true symbol signifying Autumn was in full swing in Paris. It was what I wanted to see. Yes, I saw similar trees at the Luxemburg garden, but this tree was on its lonesome against a backdrop of green grass.

We walked through the garden and exited to Place de la Concorde to see the Obélisque de Luxor. Before we took our happy snaps we had lunch. I got a hot dog and my friend bought waffles...sorta weird to be eating such things in Paris...but thats what we had. *LoL* After stuffing our faces, we became trigger happy and took multiple pictures of the Obélisque.

After taking the photos, we walked down the Champs-Elysées towards the 2 palaces.

The Grand Palais wasn't opened to visitors, so we went to look at the Petite Palais...and we were reluctant to walk around thinking that we had to pay an entry fee, but it was free. We just needed to get a ticket to give it to security guard. I don't quite understand this, but it was free after all, so who am I to complain about their weird procedure?

After walking around the palace and admired in awe the beauty of simple things like the ceilings...we headed off back to the apartment to collect our bond...it was getting late.

We me up with Christophe and asked about places to go for dinner that was moderately priced and opened late on a Sunday night? He suggested Cafe Marley at the Lourve. So, we called and made a reservation and after scoring a table for two, we started to madly pack. We'll more "madly" for me, since I was the one who bought heaps of things.

After packing most things, we headed out to go to the Lourve for dinner. Since it was a clear night, we decided to walk to the Lourve. In total, it took us about 15-20 minutes to walk there. But you don't feel the time, you're too busy absorbing the beauty of the locality.

It was at this point that I noticed the cool stores that were in the area that I didn't get a chance to visit...thats what you miss by catching the Metro to get around. Mental note, have to shop in the stores in the area - next visit!

When we got to the Lourve and found the restaurant, we realised that we didn't even notice the restaurant on the night we came to take pictures of the pyramids. It was right along the courtyard beside the pyramids. We were given a seat facing the pyramids, which made both of us regret the fact that (1) I didn't bring my camera & (2) my friend didn't bring his DSLR.

Can I just recommend, if you ever get the chance to eat at Cafe Marley and feel like something delicious and utterly comforting, please order the risotto with prawns. You know how Americans feel about cheese and macaroni...? Well, this risotto was the best risotto I have tasted in a long time. Mind you I spent a week in Italy and I didn't taste a risotto this good, over there. The risotto was perfect. The right consistency of creaminess, chew and cheesiness. OMG! Really to die for!!! And they didnt scrimp on the prawns either. They were big and fresh and really sweet!

I think i cleaned the plate. The risotto really hit the spot and i was soo full after dinner, but every bite was worth it!

We walked back to the apartment after admiring the pyramids all night and catching the Eiffel glittering once in a while.

Last night in the apartment was pretty sad. Sad in the sense of my own grief...grief that my magnificent holiday was coming to an end. Its a real downer knowing that the next time you wake up from dreaming, you will have to rush to go to the airport.

The holiday was overall travelling at a good pace, but Paris was jam packed and went by in a blur...yet i remember it as decadent and colour...

Struggle...

You see, I have this thing with climbing the ladder. I don't mind working hard. In some ways I don't even mind the stress with dealing with incompetent people, even though I do complain about it very often...but at the end of the day, I have to accept that I will forever be dealing with incompetent people...so I had better suck it up sooner rather than later.

What I don't like about climbing the ladder is when you are put in a challenging position and realise that maybe this isn't what you want to do with the rest of your life...is it really worth it? It will only be tougher...

Yes, I need the money...thats the whole point for me...the money. If it wasn't for the money, I wouldn't be working so hard to further myself. There is that little incentive to further myself personally. But for me, at the end of the day, I need to make more money to pay off the mortgage and have the sense of financial freedom that I crave.

I have had moments recently where I have caught myself wondering if it is all worth it? Is my hardwork now going to get me to that happy place that I want to reach later?

I have been thrown in to take over a project that is of highest priority to the client. It was meant to be easy, but I'm working with ever changing requirements, and therefore the scope is so skewed I don't even recognise the tasks at hand in comparison to the Scope of Work. I'm also dealing with people who want this implemented yesterday, but they are not delivering sufficient information for me to do my job today.

Lately, while my Program Manager has been on leave, I have been doing a lot of things that were his responsibility. I was sitting in a whole heap of meetings. I have also been managing this project...What this ultimately meant, was that my own work was jeopardised and to compensate I was leaving work way later than usual. I have been driving to work because it would save me 1 hour of travel time, but saving an hour to only spend 2-3 hours more isn't a good way to save time.

I don't want to be a single woman for the rest of my life. Drained by work with no social life. Only ever wanting to go home after a hard days work to rest up, so I can face the challenges of the next day.

Right before catching up with M&D to head off to Jervis last Friday, I found myself having difficulty switching off from thinking about work. I don't want my life to be like this for the next 35-40 years. I don't want to consciously tell myself "Now its time to think about something other than the implementation that is supposed to go through tonight..."

I'm struggling. I don't know if I have made the right decision. Maybe I just need to be managing other projects...anything other than network security...*sigh*...