Waking up to an orchestral thunderstorm...

I woke up, as per usual, with my alarm going off at 5:30am.

It seemed pretty dark...i could hear rain coming down heavily...and then the natural orchestra started playing - loudly.

I dont like driving in thunderstorms or heavy rain.

I stayed in bed and seriously considered calling in to work and telling them that i would be working from home.

Then i rationalised...

I have end of month billing to complete before this week ends and im short 1 day because of Australia Day...I have an important conference call to make and have to push a project forward so that we can complete it by Monday...ridiculous, i know!

Sooo...I told myself that i will give it 30 minutes...if the rain eases, i'll go to work...get my lil bro to drop me off at the trainstation and hope that i dont get caught in a heavy down pour while walking from the trainstation to the office.

And so, im in the office.

Symphony at the Domain...

What a wonderful night...

The food was exceptional, even if i do say so myself...

We had walnut cheese, camembert, duck with sherry and peppercorn pate, quince paste, thin wafer crackers, water crackers, salami, proscuitto, rockmelon and grapes, an array of char grilled veges, olives stuffed with anchovies, chilli cashew dip, chocolate ganache and apples, chocolate ganache and raspberry sandwiches, champagne and my favourite Ernest Hill Silver Moon dessert wine on ice! (I brought an esky filled with a jumbo bag of ice this week!)

+ HUGE drumsticks L baked with crusty bread and salad which we didnt touch!

*LoL* No room for salad with all that gourmet food!

This was all for 3 people. Look, L and i are Asian - so we always over cater!!!

But to be honest, by the end of the night, most of the cheese and pate was consumed. For pictures and an even more comprehensive description with photos click here.

Now, funny thing...it was very hot during the day, by the time the music started...i was freezing my bottom off! What a turn in the weather. Since we were close to L's office, we went to get a jacket and i got to wrap her shawl over my 3/4 sleeve cardi.

When we got back to the Symphony, it was dark and actually breathtaking.

L cracked open the glow sticks...*LoL*...yes you read correctly, glowsticks at the symphony!

What i enjoyed the most was lying down on the 2 rugs we combined (yes we are space hogs, 2 rugs for 3 people) and staring up at the stars. It was exquisite. It was peaceful and serene...the music was pleasant and i swear for a moment i thought i could rough it some time in the future and go camping!!!

*RofL*

I told L this, and she reminded me that i think this now, but then some insect will crawl onto me and i will change my mind again. And she was right. But it was fun and i really liked lying down on the rug in the dark...i was actually comfortable and i didnt have a pillow either.

Later on in the evening towards the end, a lot of the audience had sparklers and were waving them around...it was like someone had released 100's of votive candles loose on to a dark sea and it lit up...and then there was a firework display.

What a spectacular night!!!

Until i realised that i had a variety of weird sms' from former bf's...this was while i was driving home...


Sunday...well everyone should remember how hot it was, but i managed to drag my sorry butt to the gym and slogged it out for 3 hours. How did i manage? A mixture of guilt and vanity kept me motivated...I had too much cheese and chocolate and ice cream (i bought from the Streets Ice Cream guy)...not to mention all that wine...

The thought that i will be eating heaps this weekend also helps.

I'll be having a buffet lunch on this Friday and an extended family banquet on Sunday. And in a couple of weeks we'll be celebrating Chinese New Year...more sweets, cakes, and heaps of rich fatty food, except for that one day where Mum cooks vegetarian dishes.

Speaking of Chinese New Year, I found out last night that my Dad's cousin is getting married on Chinese New Year Eve. The whole family is chucking a fit because "we all have to pray" and go to the temple on the Eve of the New Year and cook family dinners, etc. What irks the family even more is that the reception will be held in the city somewhere and it will be a Western style reception. So, everyone is saying that they wont be going...talking about picking dates for your wedding!


Congrats to my cousin, Jess!!! I also found out last night that she will be studying Medicine at Uni this year...What a smart cookie!
*^_^*

Flirting is fun...

Its actually a really great way to start the day when you flirt.

And i dont mean the kind of flirting where you are throwing your self at someone. I wouldnt know how to do that, come to think of it.

I have never been a flirty type of person. What i do is talk to someone and when i get to know them i tease them, in a kind, cheeky sort of way. I'm really more cheeky in what i say (with good humour) than i am flirty - but i guess people will interpret what i say and do as flirting with the opposite sex.

I am prone to flirting with Loose Lips at the cafe, as well as Mr Hot Stuff sometimes - who is now off limits because it is confirmed that he has a gf.

But either or, its great to be able to go and get my super juice (carrot, celery, green apple, lemon) from them, bright and early and just start the day with a BIG chuckle by saying silly flirtatious things.

Like, Loose Lips said that not everyone can be born good looking like Mr Hot Stuff and i mouthed behind Mr Hot Stuff's back (he was making my juice at the time) to Loose Lips that he was in fact better looking, with a wink of course.

;)

After a string of compliments i asked Loose Lips if that filled up his quota of compliments for the day? He said he would be beaming for a while...

And thats another thing, flirting makes the recipient feel gooooood about themselves. And im all for that. Its nice to make other people happy with such a simple gesture.

^_^

Sacrifice...

He prepped me:

"Its all about sacrifice. You need to give something to get what you want. Its the way of life. It applies to this as well. For instance, when i wanted to become a pro body builder, I had to spend more time at the gym to workout...what i had to give in order to reach my achievement was to give up my time with family and friends so i could be at the gym. You have to decide to do the same..."

I moaned:

"I know...i know! I've been doing this for years and i havent achieved my goals."

He continues:

"Its not the exercise thats working against you. You're doing that fine. Its all about calories in and calories out now! And this is what i want you to do..."

And so i am on a mission. This isnt about my concern for something to feel passionate about, but being the best i can be. Its about reaching something i have always felt unobtainable but have been working fruitlessly towards. It will no longer be fruitless. Just like work, this year is about giving more to get more.

Strategy! That has been my favourite word in the past few months.

But this is a long term strategy.

Actually, its a life long strategy.

Changing one's habit is a life long change...but it will be for the better and there is no turning back.

I've committed and so i must deliver the results i set out to achieve.

Passion or lack there of...

I watched "So you think you can dance" and "Centerstage" last night and i realised that what i lack in my life is passion.

I dont have a hobby or anything that i love with said "passion"!

I like a lot of things but i dont love anything.

And i think its pretty sad that i dont feel passionate about anything in particular.

The dancers on the show and in the movie, they all want to dance. Dancing is their life, the air that they breathe, the blood through their veins. Its the same with athletes, they must love the sport they play to excel in it.

I dont excel.

How scary is it to be confronted by this fact?

I paint, but lets face the fact...i'm no Da Vinci, Van Gogh, or Renoir. I will not be remembered for the paintings i have done.

The things that i am good at, i dont feel passionate about. And i dont think they really count as something you would boast when asked what you are passionate about. Like..."i'm organised"...hello, who would say that they are passionate about that? And PS, i'm not passionate about it.

I'm dont play any sport. I'm good at the gym. But thats not something to boast about either. I'm just a gym junkie without the precise results she wants...which doesnt really indicate success...

I like travelling, but even that is not with a passion...and who doesnt like to travel???

I'm not even passionate about work! I just do it because i have to have something to do. Dont i? Its driven by the fact that i need money, but if you ask me what i would do otherwise??? I have no clue. If you ask other people, they would tell you that they would do something else that they love, if it would pay well...and its something that they plan on doing after they make enough...or in their early retirement, etc. My answer is a blatant "i dont know".

When i was a kid, i didnt want to be a rock star, or a musician, or anything spectacular to strive for. The things i wanted to do were achievable and practical. Interior designer or architect...scientist, doctor, psychologist...the only thing i can think of that is slightly out there was a fashion designer...and i still love clothes. Am i passionate about it? I dont know. Could i make a career out of my love for clothes? I dont know...

One more i dont know and i think i will burst out of frustration with myself.

When asked what my resolutions were for this year, i told everyone that there wasnt one. But one has developed in the last week.

I will try to find out what i am passionate about this year and do something in order to achieve it!!!

Jazz in the Domain 07...

It was a plan to action based on the Bureau's weather report.

Forcast said it was going to rain, throughout the weekend. The morning was cloudy, but then it became sunny on my end and it was slowly moving towards the city.

We made a call about 4pm in the afternoon. We'd bite the bullet and pack for a picnic. If it rained on us then we'd sit at Broadway and eat the food we had. Because of the possible rain, we didnt bring the wine and cheese.

We got a roast chicken, bread roll, creamy pasta salad, spring lettuce salad, and for dessert our master chef L had made friands and a special fruit salad - this was based on the fact that she "didnt have time"! *LoL* if she did have time i could only imaging that she would have whipped, baked, grilled a whole heap more!

When we got to the Domain and saw the cheese and wine that was flowing, we decided it was our mission to out do everyone next week, for Symphony in the Domain.

We are going to bring more mats. We will have wine. We will have yummy cheeses. We shall have gourmet sandwiches made. A scrummy antipasto platter. And above all, we will have delicious desserts. There are other things were considering...we saw a guy with a mini bbq last night with smoke billowing towards the St Johns Ambulance guys...we were considering bringing a fondue set after seeing that...*LoL*...

Although we didnt have the wine or cheese, the food was great. I couldnt get enough of L's friands (which werent really friands and has less sugar and butter than most, cos L is always making healthier alternatives - but the flavour and texture to me, was perfect)!

The music on the other hand...i preferred 04, 05, 06 way more than this year...

I think there were only 2 or 3 songs in which i enjoyed...the rest was so passable. It was much better to just lie back and watch the bats, but hope and pray that the bats didnt poop or pee on my face. L and i went to the ladies and when we got back there was poop all over the place. G and A didnt do much, they didnt even notice it...not that they could do much to prevent it! *LoL*

While all 4 of us were lying back...i got peed on and it landed on my top...same with G. I think A was the only one who got away without any misfortunate mishaps.

When the concert was finishing up...we packed and left while the rest of the 80,000 people were seated or dancing around. We walked through Sydney Hospital...A was in awe of the people in the main section who were all up and dancing and partying as though they were on something *winkwink*...we then walked along Martin Place and noticed the line at Hotel Chambers...obviously some dance party...L and i shuddered at the thought of when we use to do that...back in our uni days...the pathetic decorum of lining up for an hour before being let it - just do they could generate a crowd!!! But not only that...we felt OLD.

A night out for us began at 6pm with 2 picnic rugs, soft drink and water, and dinner all packed in enviro/thermo bags. Our night ended at 10:30pm. Enough said...

I'm looking forward to next week. Cheese and wine...walnut cheese...sweet shiraz...proscuitto...duck pate...gosh im salivating!

Hope the weather will be as lovely as last night.

The Academy of Brain Gymnastics...

I went to a meeting in the morning and was introduced to the client as "The Project Manager" for the projects coming up.

I was then away from my desk for 4 hours.

I then realised and panicked that i dont have time to be the manager of these projects and be the coordinator for the other two, especially when i'll be the Quality Assurance Manager for one of them.

I started stressing and my neck was cramping up.

I havent used my brain for anything important in a while...a very long while. I follow processes and procedures and get the work that i need to do done. I didnt have to think for myself really or decide on things for other people...

And now i have to put into practice what i have learnt in my 4 day PM course last year. But i'm dealing with the worse clients you can ever think of...but i have to learn to do this some day. I guess.

And some day turned out to be today.

Writing up plans and drawing up schedules, writing diplomatic emails that slant to a positive feel, preparing design docs...its a blur.

On top of that i need to write out the workflow for the other PM's in which i have been doing end-to-end finances for, so that they can take it off my hands, so that i can manage these projects.

I have a headache. My brain is overworked.

And P.S. Mr Hot Stuff does in fact have a girlfriend. His friend, Loose Lips, was taking a jab at him while he was on the phone...telling us that he must be talking to his girlfriend because he was acting all coy while talking on the phone.

Still a slither of hope...

I told E again, that Mr Hot Stuff is taken. Why the reiteration? Because E was in Tassie and didnt hear me the first time i called to sook about it. He will probably ask me a third time, but i will deal with it then.

He advised me that when Mr Hot Stuff returned to work this week, i should ask from the horse's mouth who he went with?

I was flabbergasted. I thought it was too forward to ask that, "who did you go with?" I had to find a way of making it sound casual. The whole point is to find out if he mentions the gf. E is thinking Mamma might be a bit slow on the grapevine and that he may have broken up with the gf and she doesnt know it yet.

I told my workmate, M, who thinks Mr Hot Stuff is hot stuff too, that Mamma told me that he was taken. She was bummed for me. And then i told her about E's advice. She agreed and guess what i did after i ordered my drink? I asked him how was his break...and asked him who he went with...and what did they collectively get up to???

The break was good...he went with "just mates"...they just drank alot and relaxed.

Who is "just mates"?

Workmate M and i left the cafe and as we walked to the lifts i asked her "what does just mates mean"? Does that include the girlfriend? She was like "i dont know"! If i was him and my gf was there and i would say "my mates and gf", or "my gf and some mates".

But my workmate, M, also thinks that he might not have a gf and if he does, he doesnt want to reveal her...

So what does that mean for me???

=T

That was the morning break...did i mention Mamma gave us hugs and Mr Hot Stuff made a comment...Mamma says that he is just jealous! *LoL*

In the afternoon break, i ordered my drink, had a quick chat with Mr Hot Stuff and then went to sit down with Mamma and my workmate, M. Its funny, i dont think Mamma knows our names but the things we talk about is definitely not PG rated. And its a lot about her family.

She was telling us about her husband and her...what they did over the holidays...what X-rated stuff that didnt happen...where they live, when they had bought the land and when they had built their house on that land. How old she is...the age of her children...we were talking about menopause...people dying of cancer...smoking and quitting...Mr Hot Stuff and how close he was to his grandfather and that when his grandfather passed away, he was a different man and has never been the same again...i know more details, but it isnt right for me to write it up. That last bit explains why he is so silent but deadly - but its so ultra sexy!!!

See, some of these things she tells us are pretty intimate. I'm glad she feels comfortable sitting down and chatting to us about these things. She is a lovely woman. Its easy to open up to her because she is so open about herself.

30 minutes passed so effortlessly and M and i learnt so much more about Mr Hot Stuff and family.

There may not be an excellent chance for me...but there is a thread-like slither of hope.

Well, a girl can keep on dreaming...
;)

A ring is round and has no end...

...and thats how long i'll be your friend.

We became friends in kindergarten. The best of friends really. There were two of them and one of me. Two of them because they were twins. Twins who were born on Christmas Day, which made them extra special friends to me.

After primary school, we all parted ways. They went to the local high school closer to their home and i did the same. I felt gutted to be separated from my best friends. It was a horrible experience. As Asian kids, the only place you got to see your friends was at school. Asian parents didnt believe in sleep overs and rarely allowed their children to participate in birthday parties of children their parents they didnt know well. Our parents heard, saw, or read one too many news stories on kids being kidnapped to scar them for life.

We promised to write like pen friends and it lasted for a few years and it sporadically phased out. No blame to either party, we were taking school seriously by Year 9 and obviously made new friends who were just as close if not closer. But in those written letters we spilled secrets about our latest crush, secrets about people all parties knew from primary school, and secrets about secrets...

By Year 10 the letters stopped but i still thought of them and would especially remember them on Christmas Day.

It seems funny when fate intervenes. After those years past of not writting to one another, we happened on a fairly miserable day, bump into one another between Redfern station and USYD. And throughout uni we would bump into one another and perhaps caught up over lunch a couple of times over the next 3-4 years.

Then once again, things sort of phased out. Its not that we ever stopped being friends, we just werent active as most friends.

My first full time job as a Network Admin with a Telco company, one of my team members knew their brothers. And so i got their email off him and we caught up again. Via email they filled me in on their lives, their plans to go to Europe, current bfs, etc. We made a plan to meet up on a Saturday night for drinks and some dancing.

Once again when we met, it was like we hadnt been apart. What makes our friendship work and transcend from kindergarten to adulthood is the fact that when we catch up and talk to one another we are open and honest. We pretty much reveal everything to one another and thats how we can make each other feel like our friendship meant something and that the trust is still there.

Since that one catch up on that Saturday night we hadnt seen each other for a while. Still emailing, sometimes regularly, sometimes not for a few months. Mostly the emails are forwards of funny jokes. But on those rare occasions after a while, we would touch base by replying to one of those forwards.

Like after the World Cup in 06, they had gone to Germany to catch a game. (They are football fanatics.) We met up for lunch as it was long overdue...and we chatted like there was no tomorrow. I think it was a touch weird, as it would have been one of the most "adult" things we have done together. *LoL* We had a proper sit down lunch at a cafe. Its not like i have never caught up with friends at a cafe for lunch, but as they were my kindy friends, it was territory we had not endeavoured previously.

But it was a great feeling to know we had finally brought our friendship to a different level.

We bumped into each other at bars as well, which was a quick hello and how are you? As i would normally be at the bar for another friend's thing, as would they be. But these impromptu hello's would spark another round of "touch base" style of emails.

Recently before Christmas, i had dinner with my family at the local Thai/Lao restaurant and they were there with their family for dinner too. We sat at the table next to them. They were surprised to see that i had 2 cutie nieces and they thought my little brother was my very young bf...like i was a complete craddle snatcher...*LoL*...cos they think he is uber HOT! But after a double take they realised that it was my little brother by 6 years.

Before i left the restaurant i did the "Happy Birthday & Merry Christmas & Happy New Year" wish to them both and told them we should catch up. As they were back to work this week, they sent emails to friends for their birthday drinks, which was on last night at the Opera Bar.

It was lucky that i had gone to work on Thursday and checked my email. I emailed and advised them that i was technically still on leave and wasnt sure if i was going to head out to the city on Friday night. So it was a 50-50 decision right now. They understood as they still live locally too, and knew the pains of driving to the city when you're already at home.

I contemplated about whether i should go...

And then i thought why not? I have been hibernating for almost a year, repairing myself after the break up. I'm not going to meet anyone by hiding at home. And i think i am ready to meet new people. And since i havent actually celebrated a birthday with them EVER...it was long overdue. There were no more excuses or exceptions like the previous years.

The previous years i was overseas during Christmas, actually spending it with family (very bizarre)...or i was too young to be out driving on my own, think in my late teens early 20's (my parents still have issues with me driving on my own late at night).

So, i caught up with them at Opera Bar last night and i did have a back up plan, i brought my alterna-date...but i told him that it was a good opportunity to meet new people, as i didnt know half of the friends that were on the mailing list. A lot of peole were from work and he actually met a cute girl...who after a couple of sms' to the twins after drinks, i found out that she is single and she likes Asian guys...so the chance is there!!! (We can be match makers soon!!!) *hehehe*

In terms of me, did i meet anyone? No, but i got to catch up with them again. I met one of their boyfriends and as the other is currently single, i chatted to her for most of the night. At one point, we went to get some water and this American man came from the side and stood between us as his friend took a photo of the 3 of us. She asked him what the photo was for? He said it was because he was leaving Sydney today. But that didnt seem like a response to me, so i said "I hope that photo was taken because you think we are hot!"

The things that come out of my mouth after some champagne...and once again, i only had half a glass! >_<

I've started to wear our friendship like a badge of honor now. To all the people i had met last night i was introduced to them as "...this is one of my best friends. I've known her since kindergarten." And everyone she says that too, they are surprised but in a good way. And i like that reaction.

*^_^*

We counted the difference between now and the year we became friends and realised that it is now 20+ years.

So, we are planning an outing to celebrate.

And then we thought about celebrating 21 years too...as you do with birthdays! *LoL*

I'm thinking we should hang out more...but we'll see how things go. Irrespective of what will happen next, they will always be my friends.

Destination...disappointment!

E and i had a plan.

I had to interrogate "Mamma" and find out if Mr Hot Stuff was available.

I told E that i would go into work and pop by the coffee shop and do the interrogation now in early January, because i knew Mr Hot Stuff was still on holidays. His bestfriend Mr S (who also works at the coffee shop) had blabbed to E and i (on their last day opened before Christmas) that Mr Hot Stuff was going to Byron Bay for 2 weeks.

On Tuesday when i went into work to do a couple of things and a report, i went to the coffee shop and said hello to Mamma, but she quickly went into the kitchen after that, so i only had Mr S to interrogate...and although he is a blabber, there wasnt anything i could get out of him without being suspicious.

I had to pop into work again today. And i had the best opportunity to speak with Mamma. So, i did the obligatory and asked her about her Christmas...and then she mentioned about Mr Hot Stuff being away in Byron and so he wasnt here to celebrate Christmas with her.

Being the clever one i can be sometimes, i asked if he was the only child??? She said no, but he is the baby. He has an older sister and she has moved out. I asked if Mr Hot Stuff was still living at home and she said yes, but dont tell him she told me that! *LoL* She also told me his age and that he should move out. She had told him recently that since his sister has moved out, he should too...whether he is single or not, its time he moved out of the house.

Here was my queue - i asked whether he was single or not?

She said no, he had a girlfriend...and being quick to think...and not to reveal my true intentions, i told her that he should move out then with his girlfriend...

She agreed with me but said he liked the good life of being at home. I told her it was her cooking!!!

She then took my order and i proceeded to call E and tell him that our plans have been foiled!

=(

No Mr Hot Stuff for me. No free coffee for E.

News, news, news...

Those two 15 y/o convicted of murder for the 17 y/o boy in Griffith is shocking and atrocious. I can not believe that it happened to the boy on New Years day waiting for a taxi to take him and his friend home.


The girl who was stripped search doing a late shift at Mc Donalds in the US...

How stupid was the manager? Taking a call from a man who said that he was a police man and making her employee strip to nothing...then calling her fiance to come in and continue the search because the Mc Donald's was getting busy and she needed to get back to work...the fiance physically abused the girl and then when he was told to get her to perform oral sex by the supposed "Cop" on the phone, he just sat there and thought nothing of it. The girl actually performed it.

I cant believe this horror didnt end at the point in which the manager (female) was asked to strip search the girl, after the girl had emptied her pockets...because she had "stolen" something. It really should not have started to begin with.

How dumb are some people??? The manager was (is) pathetically stupid.

The girl was young and naive, but if i was in her position, i would have said no.

Some specialists interviewed by reporters have said that the employees of Mc Donalds are trained to follow procedures, and when put in a position outside of their comfort zone, like this, they dont know what to do and how to react...so the girl followed what her manager had told her to do...

But, what about the manager? She just follow a voice on the phone that may not be who they say they are???

Funny thing is, if she was to follow her procedures, then why didnt she follow the section in their manuals that says something along the lines of '...you are not to strip search your employee under any circumstance. No law enforcement will ask you to do such a thing...'


What is your opinion of the Matthew Newton fiasco on the "Big Night In" on Channel 10? Shown on New Years Eve as part of the celebrations after the 9pm fireworks, before the midnite display...apparently a lot of conservative parents and grandparents have rung up radio stations and written to the other tv channels to vent their views about how crass and disgusting and just how wrong it was for kiddies and the adults alike.

Others argue that if you didnt like it, then you should have turned it off or changed the channel at the least.

I was watching a movie i think on another channel (Chicago actually)...so i pretty much missed it. But watching the news the next day and then ACA on 9, and TT on 7 on subsequent following days still ranting and raving about it, i caught a glimpse of what he did to John Foreman while he was suppose to be singing a song.

My opinion? It was pretty gross. It was plain dirty. I'm hoping that he was on something...like he drank too much before he went on stage, because nothing else could really explain that sort of behaviour if he was sober.

Welcome 2007...

I'm currently sitting at home watching Chicago and its funny, i dont remember it being that interesting when i watched it in the cinemas.

Was it because i didnt understand the satire?

It was only 4 years ago...

And yet, i have changed and grown and matured in the last year.

Well, i hope i have...i feel like i have...

On the side of contradiction, i feel quite immature too. I feel quite young and still like a teen in some ways. People tell me that its good to feel young, but i feel old and act young...go figure. I'm tired but still try to stay up. No, thats wrong, i have given up on staying up late.

For instance, im suppose to be at a party right now, but i went at 5:30pm...ate dinner and then left to go home to catch Michael Buble in concert in LA on the ABC. I didnt even have a drink...even though i made punch again...

2006 pushed me to face the fact that he no longer loved me and that it was over. I put my efforts towards work, my family, my friends and planning for my trip.

I then got a mortgage.

And paid for my trip.

I found a crush...he's cute...and mysterious...not sure if i will do anything about it...but who knows what 2007 will bring???

I also had to realise that my company didnt value me as much as i believed, and face up to the fact that they were looking out for themselves.

My attitude has changed...I'm impatient and still temperamental...but i am actively trying to brush insignificant issues aside. I'm still working on being happier with myself...its a tough one.

So, tomorrow...the first day of 2007...i will wake up and go for a run...take in some fresh air...and think about the plan of attack for the new year.

From me to you...I hope that the new year brings you joy, love, and laughter.

Movie Reviews...

Volver:

E and i went in to the cinema not knowing much about this movie...well E only knew that Penelope Cruz was in it...while i knew only a smidge more. That it is a movie about 3 women in the same family, a secret from the past that Penelope's character was trying to run away from but catches up with her...and that was pretty much it on my side of the fence.

I wanted to watch it because i was given a discount voucher by Palace and the movie had rave reviews.

The various synopsis I read about the movie did not do it justice.

Almodovar is a genious. I dont even know Spanish, but the movie translates so well, even to me a simple minded girl from the Sydney burbs. Its intense and sincere. There is an intelligent sense of mystery and discovery and when all is revealed, it is obvious when you think about it...but it was subtle throughout the movie...and the intrigue kept you captivated all the way through the 150 or so minutes of screen time.

It has its moments where you laugh and cry. Its quite heart warming, actually. And i appreciate that Almodovar made the movie with the intention of focusing on women and their strength. Men do not play any major roles in this flick.

If you want to go watch a foreign movie, i highly recommend Volver. If you dont know what Volver means in Spanish, i can tell you now that its better not to know before you watch it...I think it helped with the suprises that i forgot what Volver meant in Spanish.


Happy Feet:

I went to watch Happy Feet yesterday at Greater Union Gold Class, because my alterna-date and i really wanted to watch this cartoon without the interruption of a cinema filled with a dozen too many little kiddies.

It was brilliant that i was sent some free upgrade passes for this, so that we could try out the new Gold Class seats and the service they are suppose to provide.

The plush reclining chairs are soo comfy, i didnt really want to leave it when the movie finished...the food that you order while you wait in their bar/waiting area is served to you when you tell them to, for when you are in the cinema watching the movie.

I highly recommend this for a special date...its really impressive, but advise the girl you are with to avoid wearing a mini skirt like i did...exposed legs get really cold after like 20 minutes sitting in the cinemas.

Happy Feet is one of the most joyest cartoons i have seen in a while...which will be surpassed shortly with Shrek 3 and Happily Never After (from the makers of Shrek and Shrek 2)...but never mind that for now.

I felt like tap dancing throughout this movie as much as Mumble. Baby Mumble is sooo cute!!! Tap dancing for him is an expression of joy, love, and happiness. I wish every problem could be solved through song and dance. There is so much singing, so much music, so much joy!

I initially thought that there wasnt a really point to this cartoon and then i saw the making of it and i knew i had to watch it. There is a point, i dont like the way it sort of wraps up at the end as quickly as it does...because it makes you feel as though they just tacked it at the end to make a point for the sake of it. But its a valid point, the delivery was just not as poignant as it could have been.

Now that aside, i was boogeying throughout the flick in my very own comfy recliner, especially to "boogey-wonderland" when Gloria (Brittany Murphy) was belting the song out. It is another "heart felt" cartoon...and so it should be...i mean it is directed at kids afterall, with some adult humour thrown in so that the parents who take their children dont get completely bored! Thats the sophistication of cartoon movies today.

Its a really beautiful, cute flick that as an adult, i really enjoyed. I have mentioned the word JOY a number of times about this movie, because if i had to sum it up in a word, i would say JOY fits perfectly.

***

I have a DVD copy of The Black Dahlia and Babel...so i will be watching both shortly...I asked my alterna-date to find The pursuit of happyness...I really need a BIG crying session and this movie moved me so much when i caught the preview...i was already reduced to tears.

I finished the "Full House" series in 2 days. I love the way the Koreans tie up their movies or their soap operas, so that there are no empty gaps. I mean, those movies or soap operas which leave you hanging are so cruel. You've been following for so long and then the series ends. You're left wondering wtf? What happens to so&so now? But Full House finished with no important questions about the main characters unanswered.

There has been a lot of watching...next week i think i should start working...
=(

Christmas 2006

I'm not really into Christmas anymore...

I buy gifts for the girls and thats about it. I dont go and see people or visit relatives. I stopped giving out cards to my friends a few years ago. I've sort of grown out from it. And since im not religious, its not a religious occasion to me.

If it wasnt for the fact that the people at work were more into the celebrations, i wouldnt even bother with the Chris Kringle i get included in. And i think that is the only way i really celebrate it in any shape or form.

So its actually funny that i have received a variety of gifts from people around me.

For Chris Kringle i got a box of choccies, from a workmate i got a bottle of red from Chile, a friend brought back a box of truffles straight from San Churros in Melbourne. My sister in law has given me a t-shirt, and i know this because my niece came running in with the presents and told me what her mother wrapped up for me! *LoL* I also received a pj set from a girlfriend as a thank you/christmas present. Work gave me a Myer voucher.

All i really look forward to during this holiday season, is the holiday - my break from work!

Funny how this year i had to bring work home!
=P

Guess the plan to wipe it all from my memory isnt going to work.

Its only been 1 day and i have learnt how to ask in French what occupation a person does and i can respond that i am an architect...shame that im not an architect! hehe...i know how to ask if a person is married, and i know how to respond that i am single...good question if you are looking for a spunkhy French hubby, non? "Vous etes marie? Non, je suis celibataire."

I also know how to interrupt people while they are speaking, excuse myself and tell them that i am running late. I think this is a good one to remember..."Excusez-moi, je suis en retard!"

My sister in law gave me her "Full House" box set of dvds to borrow...because she wants everyone to be as hooked as she is. I started yesterday from 10:30am and i didnt stop except to eat dinner at 6pm. And when i got home i continued to watch it. Its Korean and the funny thing is that if you watch it a while, you start thinking that you understand what they are saying...i watched an episode without the english subtitles...and i felt that i comprehended...I know i didnt really...but it didnt even occur to me that the subtitles were missing until much later on.

So, im learning French, watching a Korean soap opera, catching a Spanish flick today with E, its surprising what other language i can integrate into my brain?

I think i am babbling...i need to hit the gym before E picks me up to go watch Volver.

The point of this blog was actually to wish everyone well...

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, EVEN THOSE WHO DO NOT CELEBRATE THIS OCCASION!

Drinking a glass of Non Vintage - Sparkling Rose...

at 9:30am is not a good way to start the day when you have an empty stomach!

We had a team breakfast and Chris Kringle this morning...

I had two sips of the rose and it went straight to my head. I turned left to talk to my workmate and my head spun. I can still feel it now. Luckily it was warm, i mean if it was chilled then i would have drank all of it and i would be feeling worse for wear.

The thing is, thats only the start of my day. I have a HUGE company Christmas party starting from 1pm today and ending...well it doesnt end!

The alcohol will be free flowing and 2 managers (client side - who are leaving) couldnt recruit enough people to attend their going away shindig, and asked whether they could combine with our Christmas party...because all the people they invited declined their invite saying they were coming to the said company Christmas party!!!

It is going to be at Bodhi Restaurant and Bar on College Street...vegetarian yum cha and an open bar doesnt seem safe to me...hopefully there will be enough carbs to keep most people sober until they ride the bucking bull. And yes, you heard my correctly...the person who organised our party has arranged for a bucking bull to be one of the activities we do for this afternoon.

There will also be a magician on hand, a caricature artist, and of course Karaoke for the drunken who will be hanging around late into the evening.

The company will actually meet at 1pm, while guests were invited to arrive at 2pm. The reason why we are all meeting at 1pm is so that we can have our team overview for the year and what is in for us in 2007. The boss tends to give the spill about how fabulous we performed in the year and he goes around and sing praises about each individual. And at the end of the speech I am hoping that we get an envelope with a gift voucher tucked inside. Thats what we got last year, but since the company doubled in size this year...i dont know if they will be kind enough to give Xmas pressies...or just give us a pat on the back...(considering how they rewarded me when i asked for a raise).
=P

Anyhoo...there is a lot of things that i will need to tidy up. Only 1.5 hours and i head off to more drinking and basically ride off today.

*RofL*

I am thankful for these small favours.

Things to do, things to see...

I have 2 weeks of embargo time (forced leave).

So, what do i plan to do, since i wont be going away this year?

I will be learning the f0llowing:

* Revise the PMBOK to finish my assignment.
* Read the Corporate Finance books my line manager, ever so kindly (insert sarcasm) left on my desk for me to borrow.
* Learn French for Conversation via CD and booklet i had bought the other day.

I want to see the following:

* Marie Antoinette
* Happy Feet
* Volver
* The Black Dahlia
* Goddess: Divine Energy @ AGNSW

I will be doing the following:

* Running every morning, at least 5 days of the week for the next two weeks.
* Staying at home and not go shopping! Need. To. Save. Money.
* Find a frame for the painting i had purchased at Art on the Rocks, earlier this year.
* Sleep 8 hours a night, avoid late nights where possible.
* Stay at home on NYE. I want to feel as low as i did those years where i sat at home watching the fireworks on tv all by myself. It may sound really sad to you, and it is, but i need this to feel grounded. It makes me realise and decide on what i should do the year ahead in order to love and appreciate myself.

P-plater again...

I'm driving a different car now, inherited from my older brother because he is getting a company car.

Its a compact hatchback 1.5 y/o, but its bigger than ol' bluey (my echo)...well it feels bigger...i sit down behind the wheel and it feels like it has swallowed me whole...which isnt a bad thing if you want to feel petite like a size 6 when you are really bigger.

I've had a license to drive since i was 16...so i have been driving for 10 years almost, and yet place me in a different car and i feel like im a teen, fresh walking out from RTA with my newly printed license in hand. I'm not saying that i am the best driver. Obviously i'm not, since im freaking out about driving another "just as" compact car. But im not horrible at driving either. I'm somewhere in the middle, on the better side of the scale.

My echo was 6 years old...actually almost 7 years old. The engine started to sound funny even though it was serviced on a regular basis. It was my car, so i could handle it with all its kinks, but if another driver went behind the wheel, they would think that its quirks were huge faults.

It was time to get a new car...but at the same time, i didnt really want to let go. I thought about it...i've bought a house, why not buy a car too. Everyone is financing these days, and i could put the money i got from selling the blue one back into a much needed newer model. Or maybe i could find a 2nd hand car that is in good condition for the price of my bluey...

Then my brother gave me an option. Keep on paying the finance of his car and keep it as mine. Put the money from bluey into this one and lower the interest repayments as well as the duration of the financing.

So, thats what i did.

Driving to the trainstation got me freaking out. I started panicking about whether i would be able to reverse park in this car. I'm sooo stupid sometimes. I mean the car is just another small car, it isnt big like the merc i had to drive on my brother's wedding night...that was a horrible evening...

I had been awake since 5am on his wedding day, because i was also a bridesmaid and had to get my make up and hair done. I was in heels all day and by the time the wedding reception had ended after midnight, we realised that my brother and father were both sh!tfaced and couldnt drive. I was the only one who could drive the bloody merc E-class his boss let him borrow straight from the showroom floor. I was so scared i think i was driving like at 40kph...fortunately it was late at night?

So, im at the parking lot by the trainstation and i park the car and everything is fine. I think to myself, "why was i freaking out for?"

I dont know why. I'm just pathetic like that sometimes. But it made me realise that at least there are some things in this world that still gives me a rush. Whether it is an anxiety attack or a stress attack...they arent the best feelings in the world, but at least i am still feeling something.

I have been stressed about the car, whether i would be able to sell it at a reasonable price or not...or perhaps a trade-in would be better...bluey's registration and insurance would be up early in January 07, so i had to act quick...then i had my review at work and my asking for a raise didnt work out the way i wanted it to...it has been a stressful week and a half. More stressful than buying a house.

And so i realised another thing...work related...loyalty means nothing no matter how big or small a company is. At the end of the day, the company will look at what is best for them, not you. Most dont care about staff retention even though they do a song and dance about it. I've seen it in a big company, in a medium sized company and now, even in a small company - which i didnt think i would ever witness.

I always had this idealism that with smaller companies, because they got to know their employees better than bigger companies, that it would be like a family...its that way for K. There is only 10 people in her company and they support eachother as a family does, but they work for the government...i dont know if that makes a difference.

I believed that my company was in touch with their staff and really wanted to retain us. We started with about 10 people when i first began 1.5 years ago...i felt valued, i felt like a member of their team/family, i felt like they acknowledged that i was doing my part and i was doing it well...i felt like they didnt want to lose me, not now, not ever.

But after their final offer (which didnt move a millimeter from their first, by the way), i realise where i stand with them.

They initially gave the impression that i was going to be offered alot. As i was informed that there was a delay in offering me my package as they were considering the tax benefits for both parties. Then i was given the offer and the impression that they could not afford to give me so much - i was actually asking for below but close to market value btw. They took what i asked for and then came back to me 2 days later and advised me that what they were offering was more than enough for my 1.5 years of experience. Meanwhile i have 3 years experience...so they managed to make me feel de-valued and de-skilled and that my loyalty meant nothing to them, in a matter of like 3 days. But they kept harping on about staff retention.

You know, at the end of the day...even if they offered me $500 more on my package - i would have felt better about the way things turned out. I would have felt as though my line manager had fought my argument for me to my MD and that they considered that i was unhappy and they tried to make things better so that they could retain me...as they constantly remind me that they really believe in staff retention, and especially retaining me!

Lesson learnt.

Cracks...

If you break a vase...
Then glue it back together...
The cracks will still be visible.


If you tell me that you agree that i am an asset. That i am the only one in the team who has multiple skills across all the programs and applications. That "my reputation proceeds me"...that good employees dont have to look for work, work looks for them and you think that i epitomise this adage.

If you tell me that I have received glowing reports from all of the PMs i have worked with. That from what you can see, i have represented the company in a brilliant light. That I am well regarded by our clients and that I have given the company a large dose of goodwill - the type of goodwill money cant buy but is developed by an employee's relationship with the client.

If you tell me that you think i will be successful...that i will reach the goal of being a Snr PM or Programme Mgr within 3 years - and that you believe i will do this with success...

Then why insult me by offering me less than someone who started just 3 months ago?

I'm not saying that this someone doesnt deserve what they were offered, but i should be offered at worse, the same as what you have offered them and preferrably more, as i deserve it. And you agreed that i deserved more.

But you offered me much less than what you had offered them.

All this does is indicate to me that you do not value me as i had thought you did, as you have tried to have me believe.

You are treating me as a liability. Not as an asset, as you proclaim.

One of the most horrible things you can do to an employee is make them feel under appreciated, under valued, and that they gave you their all for no reason but to get ripped off.

I know for a fact that you are lying to me.

I am really disappointed.

No matter what your counter offer is now, you can not erase the insult you have already inflicted. There is no way of making the cracks disappear.

Marie Antoinette by Sofia Coppola

I saw the preview of this movie when i went to watch another at Palace Cinemas about 6 months ago (i think it was at Palace...and i think it was 6 months ago).

It was colourful...it was vivid...it was extraordinary and filled with so much texture. And the music was so vibrant...i felt like rocking to it.

I tend to like movies that are off the beaten track. Movies that are different. Which is probably why i would rather go watch a movie that has come back with controversial reviews stating that the movie is violent and offensive, or that the movie portrays things "realistically". Movies that are black.

It was quite disgusting, but i liked watching Irreversible.

But on the flip side, i am a romantic comedy junkie and my silly favs are: She's all that, Ever After, Head over heels, 10 things i hate about you, and the like.

Marie Antoinette will be different. To me, i think it will appear like a burst of colour. It will be enticing. I quite like Kirsten Dunst too. I dont know why, but i do.

I watched the Virgin Suicides on SBS, Saturday night. I didnt have anything to do and it was on after Iron Chef (America) and RockWiz by Request. Kirsten Dunst was in that one too. This is also a movie that i enjoyed. Its a story of 5 sisters of one family all committing suicide.

Virgin Suicides is also a Coppola movie. I think it was her first. Which probably explains why i enjoyed it so. I also liked watching Lost in Translation, another Coppola flick. So, i expect that i will love Marie Antoinette.

I guess i will have to wait until it comes out on Boxing Day to watch it. I realised that i missed out on the premiere this Thursday at Palace. *bugger*

Run Forrest Run...

When i was a kid and on a plane flying to HK on a holiday with my mother, i happened to be fortunate enough to catch Forrest Gump on the flight.

I really connected to Forrest in terms of the way he felt he was incapable of doing certain things. The day he got up and ran for his life and proved that he could run was the type of days i use to yearn for.

I hated having asthma as a kid.

I couldnt play as much as the kids on the streets or at school.

I always felt limited and above all, i was scared that i would have an attack if i did try to play and end up in the hospital.

I think dealing with asthma has come a long way in 26 years.

I dont think i really "grew out" of it. I think i exercised it out of my system and taught my lungs to breathe properly through aerobic exercising.

But when i was a kid, no one, not even the doctors really informed my parents that i should exercise and keep at it. To train my body to deal with it and that there would be light at the end of the tunnel, that there is hope, a huge hope that i will no longer have to be dependant on Ventolin.

The day i stopped using Ventolin before i started doing any aerobic exercising at the gym, was the day i felt as though i had conquered Everest. It felt as though i had ran a marathon...without the wheezing.

Even though i havent used Ventolin for over 7 years now, i had never actually attempted to run outside for a distance. Remember those Cross Country races at school? I always started the race, but had to pull out because i would have an asthma attack along the way.

I think that fear had gripped me until recently when i had prepared for the JP Morgan run (that race that never happened due to the weather). I started to actually try to run certain distances and found that i could do the distance with a few breaks powerwalking between.

I stopped trying to run the distance when the JP Morgan run got cancelled, but recently attempted to run again - just for fun.

From my house to the local city farm its 4km. So, the total distance there and back is 8km.

My friend and i went on the first attempt and i found that i was completely puffed. We attributed my lost breath to the the dairy i had 2 hours before the run. If i can do the run between my office to Mrs Mac's Chair and back...i should at least be able to do 4km without dying.

I tried the run again yesterday and found that i could do the first 4km easily...the trip home was another thing. But i still managed to finish the 8km under 50 minutes.

While running yesterday, it felt great. I realised that i was achieving something of immense magnitude. Well, for me anyway. I never could see myself run...and here i was...even after breaking my ankle last year.

I may not be Forrest Gump, but i think i have achieved a personal best - from never running and now being able to comfortably trot for 4km.

The trick now is to actually run the whole 8km...and its my challenge now. I want to improve my fitness to be able to do this without puffing out.


I've watched "So you think you can dance" since it started and i am completely hooked. And for some reason, when i watch the partners dance, i feel like dancing too. *LoL* My feet start tapping or i feel like wiggling my bottom and prance around the house.

Depending on how things work out over this holiday, i think i might start taking lessons. I had searched some schools that teach the Lindy Hop (Swing) because i absolutely love the music...but im now thinking that i want to Mambo, Samba and Cha Cha...ahahhahaa...

As for who i want to win the competition...in terms of couples i really like Natalie & Musa, and Ben & Doniella (?). Musa, being an untrained dancer seems to have a natural ability and Natalie really complements him with her technically trained abilities as a dancer. Ben and Doniella are both fabulous dancers and have a hoot every time they dance. Which i think is the only reason why you'd dance - to have fun, to enjoy yourself...its not meant to be a chore. Within these 2 teams, they are really supportive of each respective partner, and i think that shows when they dance.

I actually make my Sunday evenings free so that i can watch this show.

I cant wait until next week's episode!