Just tired...

I feel like i have been working overtime for the past month and a half...and although im getting into the swing of things, its wearing me sickingly thin.

Pity i cant say that im actually losing weight over this.

I'm the opposite to almost everyone.

I put on weight for almost every reason under the sun, even when im sick! The only exception is when i am happy.

So, i guess its a clear indicator that my life sucks when i put on weight. When i lose weight, you will know that my life is on track and everything is hunky-dory!

The funny thing is that i havent worked overtime. I dont ever work overtime. I get pushed out the door at the hint that i might stay back an extra hour that no one is expected to pay. Basically, no one wants me to stay back for anything. Fine by me - really.

Why am i tired?

I think its all the crap that i have been going through in the past month. A non stop ride on the emotional rollercoaster to last a lifetime!

Its not just the potential stalker that i am referring to. Its EVERYTHING that i have yet to mention (and maybe never will), but have had to deal with on my own.

This month has been disturbingly intense, to put it extremely mildly.

My mind is running at 110kph and yet im trying to hold it still. I think everyone knows that that is just suicide. Who would ever consider standing in front of a car driving at that speed, thinking that they will be able to stop it? No one. And yet here i am trying to stop my mind racing at that speed.

I think its partially due to the fact that im sick, and grasping things is like 5 times more difficult if you are inducing really strong antibiotics into your system. If you are trying to make decisions while the drugs are inhibiting your ability to - it just doesnt work!

I need a break. I need to take time off. But i want to save my leave for next year so that i can spend more time in Europe.

It will be a relief when i can work from home. I can sleep an extra 2 hours. I can go to the gym during lunch...and it can be for 2 hours!

Work will provide me with a laptop and wireless broadband for me to use.

Hopefully i will be less tired. Hopefully i will lose some of the weight i have put on. Because, hopefully, i will actually be a bit happier.