I have a lot of opinions on controversial topics, but i usually dont voice them because i know that my opinions are based on very limited information...and therefore i shut up and prevent myself from being a fool in public.
Because i graduated from USYD i get their quarterly "Sydney Alumni" magazine and when i have the time i try to read it. This Winter edition has an article about Stem cell research which i found quite interesting.
Not like we all havent heard a lot about it in the news. So, its not like its all new. There has been so much debate about it all over the world. But there was something written in the article that presented an idea that i had never considered until now. Which i basically found thought provoking...
"Enchantment with our own uniqueness remains central to the Western imagination of the self. Therapeutic cloning not only shakes that idea; it also confronts our notion of ourselves as circumscribed individuals both spatially and temporally.
...
'Stem cell technologies involve a reorganisation of boundaries and elements of the human body. Bodies become materially implicated in each other,' says Prof Waldby. Through an indefinite fusing of bodies, what disappears are the safe, certain lines where our body stops and another begins." --Immortal lines, written by Dr Kate Rossmanith
I didn't think about it that way...the fusing of another's cells in one's body. I saw it more from the idea of using "babies" and "cloning"...in some ways my concerns were fears of Frankenstein-esque monsters being created and man becoming power hungry and wanting to play God...like i said, i dont know much about stem cell research, so i usually keep my mouth shut on the topic.
I have been against the idea, because i didnt and still dont know enough about it. And thats the thing I have learnt by reading the article. That most of the scientists dont know enough about it either, that all research done so far is only scratching the surface and that more needs to be done. They can not definitively advise that it can be used therapeutically in a clinical environment. It looks promising, but the truth is that there are years of research left to be done to know for sure.
I guess i should wait and read more before i can really say that im for or against it...i wonder if a decade is enough?
(lit: controversial)
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Je ne suis pas asthmatique.
I hopped on the train and chose my seat.
Next stop.
A girl hopped on and sat down next to me. She was coughing a lot and i thought to myself "uh-oh...i'm going to come down with yet another thing"...
As the train ride progressed, she pulled out her inhaler. I had forgotten that she was asthmatic. You see, i had often seen her on this train and she has on a number of occasions taken a puff from her inhaler, especially in the colder months.
How could i be so unsympathetic? I know how bad it is to be sick and not wanting to go to work, but having to go because you are sick, but not that sick. Sounds like torture when you put it down in writing, but some people are unable to work from home or they just can't afford not to work even if they are sick.
I use to have really bad asthma. I've taken it for granted that I have overcome it and that I am no longer a slave to my Ventolin.
But it wasnt like it was easy to overcome. Often it felt like I was running an uphill battle and the funny thing is - that is exactly how i overcame it.
I ran.
I exercised. I exerted my lungs and my heart to a point where my organs got use to the exertion. They started to switch on and function as per normal without the drugs. And then, I stopped coughing and wheezing and feeling as though my lungs were going to explode.
It was a slow process in reducing the amount of Ventolin I was taking, as I was increasing my cardio exercise. I started out taking a puff before, during and after exercising. Then I slowly dropped it down to a puff before and during (if needed). As my cardio increased, then just a puff before my exercising. And one day...I just decided to forgo the single puff before starting.
It was tricky to deal with at this stage. And I think if I was ever wheezing, it was happening out of anxiety and the fear of having an attack, when in fact I was really fine.
I stopped using my Ventolin when I was about 19-20, there abouts. I carried it around in my handbag where ever I went, but I didn't have to use it for about a year or so. And then I stopped carrying it and it has been a good number of years now.
I have also stopped ticking the box which says "Asthma"? on the various forms I fill out.
Sometimes, when I do my interval training on the treadmill, or when I run outside and the air is really crisp, I still wheeze a little. But its nothing unbearable and I can jog it off. I think its more from being unfit than an onset of adult asthma.
Well, I hope.
(lit: I do not have asthma)
Next stop.
A girl hopped on and sat down next to me. She was coughing a lot and i thought to myself "uh-oh...i'm going to come down with yet another thing"...
As the train ride progressed, she pulled out her inhaler. I had forgotten that she was asthmatic. You see, i had often seen her on this train and she has on a number of occasions taken a puff from her inhaler, especially in the colder months.
How could i be so unsympathetic? I know how bad it is to be sick and not wanting to go to work, but having to go because you are sick, but not that sick. Sounds like torture when you put it down in writing, but some people are unable to work from home or they just can't afford not to work even if they are sick.
I use to have really bad asthma. I've taken it for granted that I have overcome it and that I am no longer a slave to my Ventolin.
But it wasnt like it was easy to overcome. Often it felt like I was running an uphill battle and the funny thing is - that is exactly how i overcame it.
I ran.
I exercised. I exerted my lungs and my heart to a point where my organs got use to the exertion. They started to switch on and function as per normal without the drugs. And then, I stopped coughing and wheezing and feeling as though my lungs were going to explode.
It was a slow process in reducing the amount of Ventolin I was taking, as I was increasing my cardio exercise. I started out taking a puff before, during and after exercising. Then I slowly dropped it down to a puff before and during (if needed). As my cardio increased, then just a puff before my exercising. And one day...I just decided to forgo the single puff before starting.
It was tricky to deal with at this stage. And I think if I was ever wheezing, it was happening out of anxiety and the fear of having an attack, when in fact I was really fine.
I stopped using my Ventolin when I was about 19-20, there abouts. I carried it around in my handbag where ever I went, but I didn't have to use it for about a year or so. And then I stopped carrying it and it has been a good number of years now.
I have also stopped ticking the box which says "Asthma"? on the various forms I fill out.
Sometimes, when I do my interval training on the treadmill, or when I run outside and the air is really crisp, I still wheeze a little. But its nothing unbearable and I can jog it off. I think its more from being unfit than an onset of adult asthma.
Well, I hope.
(lit: I do not have asthma)
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Se faire aimer Napoleon Dynamite...
When Napoleon Dynamite was released in the cinemas in 2004, i had really wanted to watch it. I don't know what got in the way, but i didn't end up catching it in the cinemas...and i didn't even get to watch it on dvd...that was until this weekend.
It is soooo geeky, the movie, as much as Napoleon is, which makes this movie so endearing!
I had chuckled throughout the movie, and my friends were right. I was totally missing out!
Recently, i had borrowed a selection of dvds from G and this was one of them. I'm so glad that he had let me borrow this gem of a movie. My alterna-date was telling me that this was one of his favourite movies and he was surprised that i hadnt watched it until now.
I have to agree...this is now one of my favourite movies.
Highlights of the movie:
* Vote for Pedro - I now get it!
* Kip changing into a homie with the help of his "soulmate" LaFawnduh...hehehe...
* Jamiroquai's - Canned Heat (Synkronized 1999)
(trans: The endearing Napoleon Dynamite)
It is soooo geeky, the movie, as much as Napoleon is, which makes this movie so endearing!
I had chuckled throughout the movie, and my friends were right. I was totally missing out!
Recently, i had borrowed a selection of dvds from G and this was one of them. I'm so glad that he had let me borrow this gem of a movie. My alterna-date was telling me that this was one of his favourite movies and he was surprised that i hadnt watched it until now.
I have to agree...this is now one of my favourite movies.
Highlights of the movie:
* Vote for Pedro - I now get it!
* Kip changing into a homie with the help of his "soulmate" LaFawnduh...hehehe...
* Jamiroquai's - Canned Heat (Synkronized 1999)
(trans: The endearing Napoleon Dynamite)
Monday, June 11, 2007
Mon meilleur ami...
My alterna date and i were talking about how many people we would consider to be our best friends...the type of friend that you could call at 3am or in an emergency, knowing that they would come to your rescue - guaranteed...and also, that they lived in a 5Km radius.
We had eachother. I could add D...but i actually feel funny if i imposed on him with an emergency call at 3am.
If M still lived in the area, i would put her down. If E was closer by 5Km...then i would put him down...and that is the same for K, L, G and V.
We spoke about this on Saturday, prior to watching "Mon meilleur ami - My best friend" on Sunday at the Palace Twin Cinemas.
And it was funny that our topic of conversation was the exact premise of the movie.
I was hoping that the movie would be more funny...but I found it dramatic and serious...perhaps, it is because it touches on the topic of alone & loneliness, and I obviously have an affinity with being alone.
Irrespective of the serious underlying tone of the movie, i still enjoyed it. After all it is a story about being a true best friend.
But if you had to watch one French flick this year, I would suggest vehemently, that you go watch "Prête-moi ta main - I do". It was part of the French Film Fest 2007, but I missed it by watching Priceless and OSS-117.
I think it speaks for itself that it was part of the Fest and now its actually showing in cinemas as general release.
G got a free double pass to the advanced screening of "I do" and asked me to go with him - as I obviously have this thing with foreign movies, lest to say French flicks.
And it was the BEST French film I had seen for the year. It was FUNNY!!! If anyone said that the French don't know how to do comedy, they should really see "I do". I couldnt stop laughing and i thoroughly enjoyed it.
***
Over the long weekend, i slept in and i went shopping - lots of shopping!!!
I didnt buy anything really expensive, but i bought a lot of inexpensive things...which in the end broke my budget for this month anyway.
Shame on me.
>_<"
We had eachother. I could add D...but i actually feel funny if i imposed on him with an emergency call at 3am.
If M still lived in the area, i would put her down. If E was closer by 5Km...then i would put him down...and that is the same for K, L, G and V.
We spoke about this on Saturday, prior to watching "Mon meilleur ami - My best friend" on Sunday at the Palace Twin Cinemas.
And it was funny that our topic of conversation was the exact premise of the movie.
I was hoping that the movie would be more funny...but I found it dramatic and serious...perhaps, it is because it touches on the topic of alone & loneliness, and I obviously have an affinity with being alone.
Irrespective of the serious underlying tone of the movie, i still enjoyed it. After all it is a story about being a true best friend.
But if you had to watch one French flick this year, I would suggest vehemently, that you go watch "Prête-moi ta main - I do". It was part of the French Film Fest 2007, but I missed it by watching Priceless and OSS-117.
I think it speaks for itself that it was part of the Fest and now its actually showing in cinemas as general release.
G got a free double pass to the advanced screening of "I do" and asked me to go with him - as I obviously have this thing with foreign movies, lest to say French flicks.
And it was the BEST French film I had seen for the year. It was FUNNY!!! If anyone said that the French don't know how to do comedy, they should really see "I do". I couldnt stop laughing and i thoroughly enjoyed it.
Over the long weekend, i slept in and i went shopping - lots of shopping!!!
I didnt buy anything really expensive, but i bought a lot of inexpensive things...which in the end broke my budget for this month anyway.
Shame on me.
>_<"
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Je suis ici de passage.
(Pronounciation: zher swee zee.see der pa.sazh)
The audit is almost over...and i wasnt one of the lucky people to be selected...
^_^
But all the hard work in catching up took its toll. And then all of a sudden it turned into an anti-climax...because today...in anticipation of the auditor arriving there was a buzz in the office and then he left. He didn't question my team. Didn't enquire what we did all day...just pretty much walked past us.
It was good and bad.
I closed a project today! *woohoo* I also saved the company a couple of grand...except, i think it was by accident...not because i managed the budget well. Ha!
I think im over the panic attack...and just going with the flow. Finally.
Plans for the weekend...I'm going to work from home on Friday...catching another french flick "My best friend" and was going to walk the markets and go for a bike ride...but i believe the weather will be working against me.
(lit: I'm in transit)
The audit is almost over...and i wasnt one of the lucky people to be selected...
^_^
But all the hard work in catching up took its toll. And then all of a sudden it turned into an anti-climax...because today...in anticipation of the auditor arriving there was a buzz in the office and then he left. He didn't question my team. Didn't enquire what we did all day...just pretty much walked past us.
It was good and bad.
I closed a project today! *woohoo* I also saved the company a couple of grand...except, i think it was by accident...not because i managed the budget well. Ha!
I think im over the panic attack...and just going with the flow. Finally.
Plans for the weekend...I'm going to work from home on Friday...catching another french flick "My best friend" and was going to walk the markets and go for a bike ride...but i believe the weather will be working against me.
(lit: I'm in transit)
Saturday, June 02, 2007
travailler à vivre...
Work has been crazy lately. Stress levels have been really high. Energy levels have been waning. A workmate and i had to stay back on Thursday night and it wasn't fun...even though i have started to laugh hysterically - it isnt actually funny.
I have noticed that since moving to the Glebe office, i barely have time to think about anything except work. I don't respond to emails, unless its from the customers or something urgent from a manager. Everything else is low priority.
My workmates have noticed that it is Glebe. We have other things that could potentially make us feel "fast & furious", but essentially we would not have been so hard hit if we were still in the CBD.
I have started to pick up bad habits like taking 10 minute lunches at my desk...mind you the unhealthy part is that i sit on a level (in the building) that is enclosed by 4 walls and only 2 smaill windows that are tinted so that you cant look to the outside. So, its really just blank walls. (Highly secured area).
I've also started to continue working, even though i have left for the day, even while on my train ride home. I'm following up with workmates on requests, phone calls to customers, managers, et al. I'm like "this" close to carrying my laptop and wireless around to work on the train...how sad is that?
I've always said that "I work to live, NOT live to work", but it seems to me that work is starting to take over my life...and its what i wanted to prevent. 95% of the managers i know have a balance of about 75-85% work, 25-15% life ratio. They aren't 'failing' from the lack of trying to create a 50-50 ratio...its just the nature of working in the project environment.
But to their credit, they are either in a long term relationship, married, &/or with kids...and their better halves are understanding. So, they are obviously getting some things right.
My workmate and i, who are both single females, and are developing our careers in this industry have realised that we are basically screwed (apologies for the lack of finding any other word that would define it more eloquently). We both have been trying to avoid this impending moment...and now we have to look straight into the eye of the monster.
I had a panic attack last night. I called 3 friends in Sydney, who didn't pick up their phones, so that i could panic with a rational voice on the other line to talk some sense into me...but as that was lacking, i sent an sms to E, who is currently in Istanbul.
He responded in a couple of minutes, and that calmed me down a little. Funny how the person who is miles away across some oceans can respond in a couple of beats.
It was my father's birthday yesterday, so i was actually panicking while sitting in my car waiting for my family to arrive at the restaurant. And since it was Dad's birthday, i didnt want to alarm the family, so i abstained from talking to Mum about the fear that was in me.
So instead, after dinner i drove to A's place to catch up with some friends and watch Shrek 3 on A's new big ass plasma, in his new pretty, pretty apartment.
I barely took my boots off when i broke down in front of the girls in the hallway.
Its shameful, but they understood my concerns...at least that means im not over reacting too much.
I think i alluded in my last post about wanting to pay off my mortgage, building my nest egg, and potentially that now is the time to start planning if not acting.
So, im sort of stuck with a connundrum...my catch 22...
At 26, work my way to become a fully fledged project manager, my registration is 6 months (tops) from being awarded. Get flogged with work and have no social life for the next 4 years...reach 30 and have another panic attack realising that the last 4 years i should have been socialising instead of working my butt off...at this point in time have no friends, because i haven't had the time to make the effort to keep in touch, and therefore everything spirals out of control and i die lonely!!!
Have i ever told you that one of my biggest fears is dying lonely?
Its not like i can avoid work. And its seems natural to get promoted to project manager and the promotion means i get paid more...which helps me pay off my mortgage faster, and on a projet manager's rate i will have money to start building my nest egg.
So, do i choose the pending career which would free me financially or the life i currently dont even have but would like?
(lit: to work to live)
I have noticed that since moving to the Glebe office, i barely have time to think about anything except work. I don't respond to emails, unless its from the customers or something urgent from a manager. Everything else is low priority.
My workmates have noticed that it is Glebe. We have other things that could potentially make us feel "fast & furious", but essentially we would not have been so hard hit if we were still in the CBD.
I have started to pick up bad habits like taking 10 minute lunches at my desk...mind you the unhealthy part is that i sit on a level (in the building) that is enclosed by 4 walls and only 2 smaill windows that are tinted so that you cant look to the outside. So, its really just blank walls. (Highly secured area).
I've also started to continue working, even though i have left for the day, even while on my train ride home. I'm following up with workmates on requests, phone calls to customers, managers, et al. I'm like "this" close to carrying my laptop and wireless around to work on the train...how sad is that?
I've always said that "I work to live, NOT live to work", but it seems to me that work is starting to take over my life...and its what i wanted to prevent. 95% of the managers i know have a balance of about 75-85% work, 25-15% life ratio. They aren't 'failing' from the lack of trying to create a 50-50 ratio...its just the nature of working in the project environment.
But to their credit, they are either in a long term relationship, married, &/or with kids...and their better halves are understanding. So, they are obviously getting some things right.
My workmate and i, who are both single females, and are developing our careers in this industry have realised that we are basically screwed (apologies for the lack of finding any other word that would define it more eloquently). We both have been trying to avoid this impending moment...and now we have to look straight into the eye of the monster.
I had a panic attack last night. I called 3 friends in Sydney, who didn't pick up their phones, so that i could panic with a rational voice on the other line to talk some sense into me...but as that was lacking, i sent an sms to E, who is currently in Istanbul.
He responded in a couple of minutes, and that calmed me down a little. Funny how the person who is miles away across some oceans can respond in a couple of beats.
It was my father's birthday yesterday, so i was actually panicking while sitting in my car waiting for my family to arrive at the restaurant. And since it was Dad's birthday, i didnt want to alarm the family, so i abstained from talking to Mum about the fear that was in me.
So instead, after dinner i drove to A's place to catch up with some friends and watch Shrek 3 on A's new big ass plasma, in his new pretty, pretty apartment.
I barely took my boots off when i broke down in front of the girls in the hallway.
Its shameful, but they understood my concerns...at least that means im not over reacting too much.
I think i alluded in my last post about wanting to pay off my mortgage, building my nest egg, and potentially that now is the time to start planning if not acting.
So, im sort of stuck with a connundrum...my catch 22...
At 26, work my way to become a fully fledged project manager, my registration is 6 months (tops) from being awarded. Get flogged with work and have no social life for the next 4 years...reach 30 and have another panic attack realising that the last 4 years i should have been socialising instead of working my butt off...at this point in time have no friends, because i haven't had the time to make the effort to keep in touch, and therefore everything spirals out of control and i die lonely!!!
Have i ever told you that one of my biggest fears is dying lonely?
Its not like i can avoid work. And its seems natural to get promoted to project manager and the promotion means i get paid more...which helps me pay off my mortgage faster, and on a projet manager's rate i will have money to start building my nest egg.
So, do i choose the pending career which would free me financially or the life i currently dont even have but would like?
(lit: to work to live)
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
progrès...?
Its been a while since i last wrote...i think i was sick...and then i got sick but in a different way and during that time i was thinking and considering my next career move.
The possibilities out there are abundant right now. And i am getting heaps of positive feedback. Quite frankly, i'm being offered interviews on a weekly basis...
I'm just being awfully selective. I'm comfy where i am right now. I'm going to Europe in about 3 months time...some companies dont want to deal with that right now...I fully understand...which is why im turning down interviews more than attending them.
I went to an interview...only 1 of about 6 I actually even considered...but it really got me thinking.
The opportunity is actually fantastic. The money and perks being offered is ideal. He was willing to consider bringing in a temp to fill up my 5 weeks of leave - if the Programme Mgr's Manager was cool with the idea. I was offered a second round interview right after the first interview...
When i went home, i started to really think about my career...where do i really want to go with it? How am i going to do it? Am i going to take the shortest but surest route to get there? Or can i prolong it by 6 - 12 more months and achieve it in a bit of a roundabout way, and still get there in the end? Should i take the one offering more money...? I mean, reality check...I have a mortgage to my name that i would like to pay off ASAP.
I spoke to Mum about it. I spoke with a couple of friends. E really put things into perspective for me. It was short and simple. Go with the place that pays for the highest accreditation you can get...as soon as you can get it! In the end, after the accreditation...i will be able to ask for more anyway...and i was leaning towards this all along...but the change...the money!
So, i decided to stay with my current employer.
The interview was a good experience none the less. I now know that i am perfectly comfortable in selling myself as a PM. I know that i can impress the people worth impressing under such circumstances. Which at the end of the day, is a good skill to have - who knows when you will be made redundant or decide to leave and look for something new?
My managers (client side) know about the interviews...well the ones i have asked to be my referees.
They are all wishing me bad luck or that i fail...or that the company that im interviewing for, fails in my eyes. They dont want to lose me, but they know the reality of having a mortgage...most have their own...and the fact that theirs is with their wives and mine is on my lonesome...they understand the need for me to make more money.
And its not that money is everything. If i didnt have the mortgage...i wouldnt be too fussed, because i would be comfortable. With the mortgage...its not as comfortable as you would imagine.
Like, come on...i have to start thinking about my future. Who else will do it for me?
I'm not in a position to marry someone in the near future or the luxury to think of a different path to where i am headed.
I'm single. I'm independent. I need to grow my own wealth for my own future. How else will i retire comfortably? If i continue the way i am now, its not like i will have kids to rely on in my old age. And i wouldnt want to rely on my children. Even when i am old and grey, i would like to retain my independence.
So, right now...i have to look at things strategically and objectively. I want to maximise the opportunities that are presented to me and use them to my advantage. The choices i have to make from now on, must be of a benefit - otherwise its not worth making.
I received a long overdue email from a manager who was made redundant at the client side in January this year. It came on a Monday...(about a week ago)...and i replied before 8:30am that day. He called me back...we arranged for a coffee at 11am...I sat down with him and he basically advised me that at the new company he currently resides with...they are restructuring the company and he will be able to build his own team in a couple months time. He was advising me this because he basically wants me to join him when the time comes.
I have never worked with this manager - ever. We spoke to each other on a personal level on a day to day basis. He would make fun of me, really, and i would take the p!ss out of him. He didnt say to me "I want you to be part of my team in a couple months time"...but he asked me where i was at in this point in time...i told him about the interview i just had...he asked me where i wanted to be in 2 years...what i would like to earn in 5 years...and basically advised me what he could offer if i joined "their" company.
This colleague has been a deep well of knowledge and advice. I'm in debted to him for a lot of defining moments (career wise). We are both USYD Alumni and we joke about it too. I asked him why me? We have never worked with one another. He said he could tell that i was very good at what i do. He had heard me on teleconferences at my desk...on phone calls with clients...basically it was the way i held myself...im bright...ambitious, but willing to work for what i want to achieve...he said that he didnt have to work with me to know that he wanted me on his team.
You know, a couple months time is a good schedule for me to follow...Europe will be over by then...i should be a fully accredited RPM by then too.
So, i wont be making any swifts move for now. But there are a couple of plans that may come to fruition by the end of this year.
(lit: progress...?)
The possibilities out there are abundant right now. And i am getting heaps of positive feedback. Quite frankly, i'm being offered interviews on a weekly basis...
I'm just being awfully selective. I'm comfy where i am right now. I'm going to Europe in about 3 months time...some companies dont want to deal with that right now...I fully understand...which is why im turning down interviews more than attending them.
I went to an interview...only 1 of about 6 I actually even considered...but it really got me thinking.
The opportunity is actually fantastic. The money and perks being offered is ideal. He was willing to consider bringing in a temp to fill up my 5 weeks of leave - if the Programme Mgr's Manager was cool with the idea. I was offered a second round interview right after the first interview...
When i went home, i started to really think about my career...where do i really want to go with it? How am i going to do it? Am i going to take the shortest but surest route to get there? Or can i prolong it by 6 - 12 more months and achieve it in a bit of a roundabout way, and still get there in the end? Should i take the one offering more money...? I mean, reality check...I have a mortgage to my name that i would like to pay off ASAP.
I spoke to Mum about it. I spoke with a couple of friends. E really put things into perspective for me. It was short and simple. Go with the place that pays for the highest accreditation you can get...as soon as you can get it! In the end, after the accreditation...i will be able to ask for more anyway...and i was leaning towards this all along...but the change...the money!
So, i decided to stay with my current employer.
The interview was a good experience none the less. I now know that i am perfectly comfortable in selling myself as a PM. I know that i can impress the people worth impressing under such circumstances. Which at the end of the day, is a good skill to have - who knows when you will be made redundant or decide to leave and look for something new?
My managers (client side) know about the interviews...well the ones i have asked to be my referees.
They are all wishing me bad luck or that i fail...or that the company that im interviewing for, fails in my eyes. They dont want to lose me, but they know the reality of having a mortgage...most have their own...and the fact that theirs is with their wives and mine is on my lonesome...they understand the need for me to make more money.
And its not that money is everything. If i didnt have the mortgage...i wouldnt be too fussed, because i would be comfortable. With the mortgage...its not as comfortable as you would imagine.
Like, come on...i have to start thinking about my future. Who else will do it for me?
I'm not in a position to marry someone in the near future or the luxury to think of a different path to where i am headed.
I'm single. I'm independent. I need to grow my own wealth for my own future. How else will i retire comfortably? If i continue the way i am now, its not like i will have kids to rely on in my old age. And i wouldnt want to rely on my children. Even when i am old and grey, i would like to retain my independence.
So, right now...i have to look at things strategically and objectively. I want to maximise the opportunities that are presented to me and use them to my advantage. The choices i have to make from now on, must be of a benefit - otherwise its not worth making.
I received a long overdue email from a manager who was made redundant at the client side in January this year. It came on a Monday...(about a week ago)...and i replied before 8:30am that day. He called me back...we arranged for a coffee at 11am...I sat down with him and he basically advised me that at the new company he currently resides with...they are restructuring the company and he will be able to build his own team in a couple months time. He was advising me this because he basically wants me to join him when the time comes.
I have never worked with this manager - ever. We spoke to each other on a personal level on a day to day basis. He would make fun of me, really, and i would take the p!ss out of him. He didnt say to me "I want you to be part of my team in a couple months time"...but he asked me where i was at in this point in time...i told him about the interview i just had...he asked me where i wanted to be in 2 years...what i would like to earn in 5 years...and basically advised me what he could offer if i joined "their" company.
This colleague has been a deep well of knowledge and advice. I'm in debted to him for a lot of defining moments (career wise). We are both USYD Alumni and we joke about it too. I asked him why me? We have never worked with one another. He said he could tell that i was very good at what i do. He had heard me on teleconferences at my desk...on phone calls with clients...basically it was the way i held myself...im bright...ambitious, but willing to work for what i want to achieve...he said that he didnt have to work with me to know that he wanted me on his team.
You know, a couple months time is a good schedule for me to follow...Europe will be over by then...i should be a fully accredited RPM by then too.
So, i wont be making any swifts move for now. But there are a couple of plans that may come to fruition by the end of this year.
(lit: progress...?)
Monday, May 14, 2007
Je veux essayer...
A while ago, i wrote about wanting to find my passion, but i didnt know where to find it.
This year is jam packed and im limited in my budget to try something new because of all the travelling i want to do...ie, all the money i need to save so that i can spend while im travelling abroad.
But while thinking about what i love, as opposed to things i just want to try for the heck of it, i discovered some things that might make me feel passionate about something - dare i say, anything...
I love the sound of a trumpet. I get goosebumps listening to the opening of My Funny Valentine - live by Michael Buble at some concert hall in South Africa. The trumpet being played is sensual and provocative.
I've watched doco's about Miles Davies. I swoon over Miles Davies - the music, not Miles Davies - the man. BUT, I have to appreciate that there would be no music, if it wasnt for the man's talent.
So, i have decided that i want to try and learn to play the trumpet.
This could be another hare brained idea of mine...but who knows...unless i try it out.
I also want to, and this i will definitely try out, is learn various dances. I want to learn the flamenco, tango, mambo, samba, and especially the lindy hop - so i can swing.
I want to take up some art classes too. One for drawing and one for painting.
I think i figured myself out a bit more. If you look at the list above, its pretty obvious that im actually a creatively minded individual.
I've always loved music...always loved dancing...and always loved art.
(lit: I want to test /try)
This year is jam packed and im limited in my budget to try something new because of all the travelling i want to do...ie, all the money i need to save so that i can spend while im travelling abroad.
But while thinking about what i love, as opposed to things i just want to try for the heck of it, i discovered some things that might make me feel passionate about something - dare i say, anything...
I love the sound of a trumpet. I get goosebumps listening to the opening of My Funny Valentine - live by Michael Buble at some concert hall in South Africa. The trumpet being played is sensual and provocative.
I've watched doco's about Miles Davies. I swoon over Miles Davies - the music, not Miles Davies - the man. BUT, I have to appreciate that there would be no music, if it wasnt for the man's talent.
So, i have decided that i want to try and learn to play the trumpet.
This could be another hare brained idea of mine...but who knows...unless i try it out.
I also want to, and this i will definitely try out, is learn various dances. I want to learn the flamenco, tango, mambo, samba, and especially the lindy hop - so i can swing.
I want to take up some art classes too. One for drawing and one for painting.
I think i figured myself out a bit more. If you look at the list above, its pretty obvious that im actually a creatively minded individual.
I've always loved music...always loved dancing...and always loved art.
(lit: I want to test /try)
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Aliéné...
I'm under the weather to say the least...i felt it coming on on Friday with the sore throat and cloudy head...so i went home to rest and did so for the weekend.
I went in to work on Monday morning, left at lunch...took Tuesday off and rolled back into work feeling crappola on Wednesday. Luckily i was in the office...the projects im looking after evolved into nasty and my manager needed me back on board.
I should really have stayed at home again today...head is still cloudy and the acid reflux in the back of my throat is hovering around. I haven't eaten much and it is still there...even now as i type. How disgusting is that?
Another manager sitting beside me, informed me that the amount of flows has more than doubled for one of the projects. I am wayyy out of my depth on this one. The delivery date is insane!!! The schedule is soo tight - its touch and go...im not even sure we should bother with one.
*ugh*
(lit: Insane...)
I went in to work on Monday morning, left at lunch...took Tuesday off and rolled back into work feeling crappola on Wednesday. Luckily i was in the office...the projects im looking after evolved into nasty and my manager needed me back on board.
I should really have stayed at home again today...head is still cloudy and the acid reflux in the back of my throat is hovering around. I haven't eaten much and it is still there...even now as i type. How disgusting is that?
Another manager sitting beside me, informed me that the amount of flows has more than doubled for one of the projects. I am wayyy out of my depth on this one. The delivery date is insane!!! The schedule is soo tight - its touch and go...im not even sure we should bother with one.
*ugh*
(lit: Insane...)
Friday, May 04, 2007
Je suis perdue...
(Pronounciation: Zher swee pair.dew...)
I don't think i can really call myself a good samaritan.
I've always had a soft spot in protecting children or the older more frail.
But of late, i've noticed the helpless more often and i find myself wanting to reach out and help.
During my lunch break on Thursday, i was walking with a gf to Pitt Street to check out some pens at the Mont Blanc store (sis-in-law wants to buy a pen for my brother, who got promoted on Tuesday to a head position). Along the way, from the corner of my eye i saw a women slumped on a bench. She was semi upright with her head slightly leaning on her shoulder...slightly leaning on her chest.
My gf was oblivious to her and only turned to look when i said aloud "i wonder if she is okay?"
I wasnt sure if she was homeless...although she didnt quite look like it. She dressed neatly and had a handbag tucked under the crook of her arm and looked like an old lady who just got really tired and dozed off.
My second thought was "i wonder if she is dead?" and i really should have taken a closer look, or at least taken a moment to notice whether or not her chest was inflating and then deflating to know whether she was breathing.
But i didnt and had continued to walk away.
I wrote that i wanted to reach out and help, but i havent.
I cant really say what fear grips me and prevents me from being a "good samaritan"...because the intention to protect and help is there...its just that no action amounts from the intentions.
I wonder if that makes me a bad person. The fact that i dont act. I just wonder.
(lit: I'm lost...)
I don't think i can really call myself a good samaritan.
I've always had a soft spot in protecting children or the older more frail.
But of late, i've noticed the helpless more often and i find myself wanting to reach out and help.
During my lunch break on Thursday, i was walking with a gf to Pitt Street to check out some pens at the Mont Blanc store (sis-in-law wants to buy a pen for my brother, who got promoted on Tuesday to a head position). Along the way, from the corner of my eye i saw a women slumped on a bench. She was semi upright with her head slightly leaning on her shoulder...slightly leaning on her chest.
My gf was oblivious to her and only turned to look when i said aloud "i wonder if she is okay?"
I wasnt sure if she was homeless...although she didnt quite look like it. She dressed neatly and had a handbag tucked under the crook of her arm and looked like an old lady who just got really tired and dozed off.
My second thought was "i wonder if she is dead?" and i really should have taken a closer look, or at least taken a moment to notice whether or not her chest was inflating and then deflating to know whether she was breathing.
But i didnt and had continued to walk away.
I wrote that i wanted to reach out and help, but i havent.
I cant really say what fear grips me and prevents me from being a "good samaritan"...because the intention to protect and help is there...its just that no action amounts from the intentions.
I wonder if that makes me a bad person. The fact that i dont act. I just wonder.
(lit: I'm lost...)
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Singe effronté...
I came home on Sunday after going to a house warming in the afternoon and Chloe was at the table having dinner.
She said to me:
"Aunty, i have another party to go to. Its for my friend Isabelle and its far away AND I WANT YOU to take me. If you want a lolly from my lolly bag...you.will.have.to.deal.with.ME!"
(1) Her mother was shocked, because she is free to take Chloe on this occasion, but Chloe had never asked her mother to take her to the party.
(2) Chloe and i did a pinky swear before the first birthday party i chapperoned. If i took her to these parties, i would get to pick 1 lolly from her lolly bag before she demolished it. That was the pact, which is why she said what she had said.
(3) I'm shocked that she is "re-negotiating" the terms and conditions with me. What a cheeky bugger...and she is only 5 y/o!!!
(lit: monkey cheeky)
She said to me:
"Aunty, i have another party to go to. Its for my friend Isabelle and its far away AND I WANT YOU to take me. If you want a lolly from my lolly bag...you.will.have.to.deal.with.ME!"
(1) Her mother was shocked, because she is free to take Chloe on this occasion, but Chloe had never asked her mother to take her to the party.
(2) Chloe and i did a pinky swear before the first birthday party i chapperoned. If i took her to these parties, i would get to pick 1 lolly from her lolly bag before she demolished it. That was the pact, which is why she said what she had said.
(3) I'm shocked that she is "re-negotiating" the terms and conditions with me. What a cheeky bugger...and she is only 5 y/o!!!
(lit: monkey cheeky)
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Beyonce - L'expérience...
On Saturday night, E & L & I went to the Beyonce Concert at Acer Arena.
Chris Brown was the support act and i was thrilled when he sung "Just Fine". The mother and daughter duo sitting beside L were going bananas over him...well i should say that the mother was bananas, the daughter only had half the enthusiasm as the mother.
But lets get straight to it.
Beyonce is HOT! She is really fit, can dance and sing at the same time all night long, she wore some really pretty stuff and some of it was really racey, but the guys really loved it, and all her band members are women!
I loved it. I loved her singing...I loved her dancing...I loved the fact that it was only women on the stage...two drummers, 3 sax players, 2 on the guitars (maybe one was bass, but i couldnt tell from where i was sitting) and 2 on the keyboards, 3 back up singers and i think there were 6 dancers. There were some male dancers, but they were only there for partnering and looks.
Those boys were there to make up for all the oestrogen on stage. They had really nice bods...one would have been to drool for, except im not into tats.
And its funny how there was like 1-2 token white girls. I love it! Usually, its like a token yellow/black chick to make up for all the white girls. But its like the reverse on her stage extravaganza.
She sang songs from her new album, her old album, songs from when she was with Destiny's Child and it was all sung for 1.5 hours straight. The only time she stopped singing and dancing was when she walked off stage to change her outfit. Which was a matter of minutes. I was breathless from the screaming, i dont know how she manages to sing, dance, and jump around in sky high heels!
We had hoped for an encore, but alas, there was to be none.
We got ushered out even though we wanted to sit around and wait until most of the cars had left the carpark. But instead, we raced back to the car and tried to get out as soon as possible so i could have my first HeyHey Kebab experience.
As we left the carpark, some words were exchanged between the driver of a beemer and L. It was a very "sormuijai" experience and i wont bother explaining it here, because i doubt i would do the incident justice. Just check her website for her update. Its funny when i reflect on it, but my jaw dropped when i heard the words utter from L's mouth. Not from the words, but from the amount of aggression that backed the word. I was scared for my life, to say the least.
(lit: Beyonce - the experience...)
Chris Brown was the support act and i was thrilled when he sung "Just Fine". The mother and daughter duo sitting beside L were going bananas over him...well i should say that the mother was bananas, the daughter only had half the enthusiasm as the mother.
But lets get straight to it.
Beyonce is HOT! She is really fit, can dance and sing at the same time all night long, she wore some really pretty stuff and some of it was really racey, but the guys really loved it, and all her band members are women!
I loved it. I loved her singing...I loved her dancing...I loved the fact that it was only women on the stage...two drummers, 3 sax players, 2 on the guitars (maybe one was bass, but i couldnt tell from where i was sitting) and 2 on the keyboards, 3 back up singers and i think there were 6 dancers. There were some male dancers, but they were only there for partnering and looks.
Those boys were there to make up for all the oestrogen on stage. They had really nice bods...one would have been to drool for, except im not into tats.
And its funny how there was like 1-2 token white girls. I love it! Usually, its like a token yellow/black chick to make up for all the white girls. But its like the reverse on her stage extravaganza.
She sang songs from her new album, her old album, songs from when she was with Destiny's Child and it was all sung for 1.5 hours straight. The only time she stopped singing and dancing was when she walked off stage to change her outfit. Which was a matter of minutes. I was breathless from the screaming, i dont know how she manages to sing, dance, and jump around in sky high heels!
We had hoped for an encore, but alas, there was to be none.
We got ushered out even though we wanted to sit around and wait until most of the cars had left the carpark. But instead, we raced back to the car and tried to get out as soon as possible so i could have my first HeyHey Kebab experience.
As we left the carpark, some words were exchanged between the driver of a beemer and L. It was a very "sormuijai" experience and i wont bother explaining it here, because i doubt i would do the incident justice. Just check her website for her update. Its funny when i reflect on it, but my jaw dropped when i heard the words utter from L's mouth. Not from the words, but from the amount of aggression that backed the word. I was scared for my life, to say the least.
(lit: Beyonce - the experience...)
Monday, April 23, 2007
Mères...
On Saturday I went a bit beserk over knitted tunic tops/smocks/dresses that were only $15 each. I grabbed about 15 and settled on 5. In the process of elimination i put back a top that was very in vogue this season, but Mum dutifully warned me that i would look up-the-duff, no matter which belt i used around the middle.
So, i put that top back. From my peripheral vision i saw a girl with her mum, eyeing me and that top out. When i put it back she took it off the rack right away. She then asked her mum the same question, whether or not it would make her look preggers? Her mum said it would. But like i said, the top is very this season...she just wouldnt take no for an answer. She was trying so hard to convince her mother she could make a dress out of it. But the top barely skimmed the top of my hips, even if she tugged it down, it would only extend 1 more inch of its length.
My mother, being the queen of nosey, turned around and said to the girl:
"My daughter asked if that would make her look pregnant and i told her yes, but its okay for you because you are round."
What Mum left out in her sometimes broken English is that the girl had a really round face (and that it would suit her in a cute way). How round you might ask? It was really rounder than mine, and for the record i do have a round face.
The girl was flabbergasted!
She was talking to her mum insisting that her face wasnt round and that she didnt have a round body. But fact of the matter is, she was round. Not in an obese way, she was just really curvy in all the places that mattered and she reminded me of Betty Boop.
She then proceeded to state to her mother, more as a fact than a question that she couldnt be rounder than me! I was surprised that she was comparing herself to me. But her mother answer her thinking it was a question or maybe she just wanted to set things straight...and instead of being "nice" to her daughter, she just stated matter of fact that her girl was rounder than i am.
Her daughter then proceeded to say with great melodrama that she wanted to just go home and die.
I was still stunned that my mother said the girl was round and i my head was hazy with all the choices of knitted stuff i could buy.
I was telling Mum that even if it was the truth about that girl, she shouldnt have said it out loud to the girl's face like that...it was just so wrong on so many levels!!! I mean, i would be mortified if someone said that to me.
But as you can see, as mothers age, they just say what they want - cos its the truth! To their own daughters, as well as others.
(lit: Mothers...)
So, i put that top back. From my peripheral vision i saw a girl with her mum, eyeing me and that top out. When i put it back she took it off the rack right away. She then asked her mum the same question, whether or not it would make her look preggers? Her mum said it would. But like i said, the top is very this season...she just wouldnt take no for an answer. She was trying so hard to convince her mother she could make a dress out of it. But the top barely skimmed the top of my hips, even if she tugged it down, it would only extend 1 more inch of its length.
My mother, being the queen of nosey, turned around and said to the girl:
"My daughter asked if that would make her look pregnant and i told her yes, but its okay for you because you are round."
What Mum left out in her sometimes broken English is that the girl had a really round face (and that it would suit her in a cute way). How round you might ask? It was really rounder than mine, and for the record i do have a round face.
The girl was flabbergasted!
She was talking to her mum insisting that her face wasnt round and that she didnt have a round body. But fact of the matter is, she was round. Not in an obese way, she was just really curvy in all the places that mattered and she reminded me of Betty Boop.
She then proceeded to state to her mother, more as a fact than a question that she couldnt be rounder than me! I was surprised that she was comparing herself to me. But her mother answer her thinking it was a question or maybe she just wanted to set things straight...and instead of being "nice" to her daughter, she just stated matter of fact that her girl was rounder than i am.
Her daughter then proceeded to say with great melodrama that she wanted to just go home and die.
I was still stunned that my mother said the girl was round and i my head was hazy with all the choices of knitted stuff i could buy.
I was telling Mum that even if it was the truth about that girl, she shouldnt have said it out loud to the girl's face like that...it was just so wrong on so many levels!!! I mean, i would be mortified if someone said that to me.
But as you can see, as mothers age, they just say what they want - cos its the truth! To their own daughters, as well as others.
(lit: Mothers...)
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Est-ce que je vous connais?
There is always more to learn about my friends. And im relishing it. I think its really great that as a person they are always ever growing and learning, and have developed into really interesting people.
Whats bad is that it makes me look at myself and i wonder if im interesting to be around. I wonder if i am still growing???
But i dont want to look at myself today...
On Sunday i went out to lunch with G, because he couldnt make it to my birthday dinner and drinks. We tried to catch up for lunch during the week, but he was committed to his workout regime with his work colleagues and i was busy with interviews and various meetings. So, i went ahead and asked him to venture where he had never ventured before...
G is a really shy guy and i have known him since 2nd year uni. We have stayed friends ever since and i am starting to see him come out of his shell. I would say that he is one of my close friends and yet i still dont know a lot about him. He likes to keep to himself...and he is always mysterious, of course in a good way, as much in the way that irritates me because im nosey!
*LoL*
I asked him if he was free on Sunday. No point in trying to fit each other in our respective work day calendars if our Sundays are free. So we locked ourselves in for Midday on Sunday.
We went to Majors Bay Road in Concord and popped into an Italian cafe/restaurant because it looked like it was busy...you should always go where the locals go! And it was here where i learnt that G was also into foreign films.
O_O
He had a stash at home...and according to him, i havent even seen the popular ones he had. I asked if he was interested in going to the film fests with me and E. And he was. If only we had known this earlier! I wouldnt be such a loner trying to find someone to go with me to watch a flick at the film fests!!!
After lunch, we had gelato and then we went back to his home where i had left my car...and for the first time ever i saw the inside of his home. I went in because G was lending me the foreign flicks he had that i hadnt seen yet.
The house is really cool in temperature and really neat...and its so wonderful that his father (a painter) has played around with different colours for different rooms in the house. And his backyard...very good for entertaining and bbq's...gotta convince him to do so next time!!! Although, when i asked him about it, he was quite dismissive.
=P
When we went into his "office" to look at his foreign DVD collection i noticed some photos of his mother. She is wayyy gorgeous and its easy to see now, where G gets his good looks! From his mother and her father...and yes, we have been friends for years but we have never met each others parents.
G has many layers. But i dont think i have really scratched the surface yet. I always thought he was simplistic in his way with life, and therefore he led a simple life. Not to say it wasnt interesting (this was always a mystery), but i always thought it was very family centric. And not to say that it isnt family centric now, but there is sooo much to him that i have yet to get to know.
I'm glad to have a good friend like him and its fun to have these one-on-one lunches with him, to get to know him better. If I had asked him 2 years ago...i doubt that he'd feel comfortable in having lunch with just me, a friend. Its good to see that he has overcome that.
So, G, when is the next time we're catching up for lunch??? I know you'd be reading this...
;p
(lit: Do I know you?)
Whats bad is that it makes me look at myself and i wonder if im interesting to be around. I wonder if i am still growing???
But i dont want to look at myself today...
On Sunday i went out to lunch with G, because he couldnt make it to my birthday dinner and drinks. We tried to catch up for lunch during the week, but he was committed to his workout regime with his work colleagues and i was busy with interviews and various meetings. So, i went ahead and asked him to venture where he had never ventured before...
G is a really shy guy and i have known him since 2nd year uni. We have stayed friends ever since and i am starting to see him come out of his shell. I would say that he is one of my close friends and yet i still dont know a lot about him. He likes to keep to himself...and he is always mysterious, of course in a good way, as much in the way that irritates me because im nosey!
*LoL*
I asked him if he was free on Sunday. No point in trying to fit each other in our respective work day calendars if our Sundays are free. So we locked ourselves in for Midday on Sunday.
We went to Majors Bay Road in Concord and popped into an Italian cafe/restaurant because it looked like it was busy...you should always go where the locals go! And it was here where i learnt that G was also into foreign films.
O_O
He had a stash at home...and according to him, i havent even seen the popular ones he had. I asked if he was interested in going to the film fests with me and E. And he was. If only we had known this earlier! I wouldnt be such a loner trying to find someone to go with me to watch a flick at the film fests!!!
After lunch, we had gelato and then we went back to his home where i had left my car...and for the first time ever i saw the inside of his home. I went in because G was lending me the foreign flicks he had that i hadnt seen yet.
The house is really cool in temperature and really neat...and its so wonderful that his father (a painter) has played around with different colours for different rooms in the house. And his backyard...very good for entertaining and bbq's...gotta convince him to do so next time!!! Although, when i asked him about it, he was quite dismissive.
=P
When we went into his "office" to look at his foreign DVD collection i noticed some photos of his mother. She is wayyy gorgeous and its easy to see now, where G gets his good looks! From his mother and her father...and yes, we have been friends for years but we have never met each others parents.
G has many layers. But i dont think i have really scratched the surface yet. I always thought he was simplistic in his way with life, and therefore he led a simple life. Not to say it wasnt interesting (this was always a mystery), but i always thought it was very family centric. And not to say that it isnt family centric now, but there is sooo much to him that i have yet to get to know.
I'm glad to have a good friend like him and its fun to have these one-on-one lunches with him, to get to know him better. If I had asked him 2 years ago...i doubt that he'd feel comfortable in having lunch with just me, a friend. Its good to see that he has overcome that.
So, G, when is the next time we're catching up for lunch??? I know you'd be reading this...
;p
(lit: Do I know you?)
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Voici ma un frere fille...
(Pronounciation: vwa.see ma un frair fee.yer)
I took Chloe to her best friend's birthday party at Hungry Jacks on Easter Saturday.
It was pretty intimidating...all these screaming kids who didnt even have their soft drink yet. They were just excited. I understand that. But OMG...i was spinning out and fearful about whether or not my head was going to explode.
I mean the kids are cute, but all the squealing...for like 25 kiddies in one enclosed space...it was getting too much.
Why was i the chapperone that fine Saturday? Well, my brother had to go to work...my sister in law had to go to her cousin's wedding and had to be present during the tea ceremony and so was the rest of her family. My little brother was at work...Dad wasn't about to take Chloe and Mum doesnt drive.
So, i was cornered. I want to be a good aunt and it sounded like an easy job to fulfil.
And low and behold...i was suckered!
It was very quick; the whole 1.5 hours...and yet it felt like it went on for everrrrr.
The following Saturday, I took her to another birthday party but at McDonalds this time. And the party was longer...a whole 2 hours.
But unlike the last time, where i juat sat around and watched Chloe interact with her friends, i sat and talked to one of her friend's mother. She asked "so, which one is your's?"
WHAT?!
I explained that none were mine. That i was there with Chloe...as chapperone.
I guess, if we spoke in technical terms...I could be a mother...Chloe could be mistaken as mine...we look so much a like...and she is really affectionate with me. And she doesnt call me "Aunty" in English...she calls me "Aunty" in Chinese...so, unless you spoke my dialect of Chinese, you wouldn't really know what she was calling me...and could mistaken her for calling me by an affectionate name meaning mum.
*shudder*
How scary is that?
(lit: This is my brother's daughter...)
I took Chloe to her best friend's birthday party at Hungry Jacks on Easter Saturday.
It was pretty intimidating...all these screaming kids who didnt even have their soft drink yet. They were just excited. I understand that. But OMG...i was spinning out and fearful about whether or not my head was going to explode.
I mean the kids are cute, but all the squealing...for like 25 kiddies in one enclosed space...it was getting too much.
Why was i the chapperone that fine Saturday? Well, my brother had to go to work...my sister in law had to go to her cousin's wedding and had to be present during the tea ceremony and so was the rest of her family. My little brother was at work...Dad wasn't about to take Chloe and Mum doesnt drive.
So, i was cornered. I want to be a good aunt and it sounded like an easy job to fulfil.
And low and behold...i was suckered!
It was very quick; the whole 1.5 hours...and yet it felt like it went on for everrrrr.
The following Saturday, I took her to another birthday party but at McDonalds this time. And the party was longer...a whole 2 hours.
But unlike the last time, where i juat sat around and watched Chloe interact with her friends, i sat and talked to one of her friend's mother. She asked "so, which one is your's?"
WHAT?!
I explained that none were mine. That i was there with Chloe...as chapperone.
I guess, if we spoke in technical terms...I could be a mother...Chloe could be mistaken as mine...we look so much a like...and she is really affectionate with me. And she doesnt call me "Aunty" in English...she calls me "Aunty" in Chinese...so, unless you spoke my dialect of Chinese, you wouldn't really know what she was calling me...and could mistaken her for calling me by an affectionate name meaning mum.
*shudder*
How scary is that?
(lit: This is my brother's daughter...)
Friday, April 13, 2007
Vendredi Noir...
I have sort of been out of it lately...
My motivation at work has declined and it feels like the work i do is not recognised for what it is. That my contribution means nothing.
I think i have been on the same programme far too long. Its been over 1 year doing the same thing (for the majority of it) and it doesnt seem like the programme will end. I just spoke with my Programme Manager and he has noticed the lack of interest, the fact that i am getting bored. But he said he will throw more projects my way to at least keep me busy.
I've started looking...and the market is really good.
Did you know i could easily make twice as much doing the same role by just changing to contracting? And if i went for a Jr PM role, i would be paid three times as much as I am now?!
The money is alluring...especially when im thinking about my mortgage.
*sigh*
What to do...?
(lit: Friday Black = Black Friday)
My motivation at work has declined and it feels like the work i do is not recognised for what it is. That my contribution means nothing.
I think i have been on the same programme far too long. Its been over 1 year doing the same thing (for the majority of it) and it doesnt seem like the programme will end. I just spoke with my Programme Manager and he has noticed the lack of interest, the fact that i am getting bored. But he said he will throw more projects my way to at least keep me busy.
I've started looking...and the market is really good.
Did you know i could easily make twice as much doing the same role by just changing to contracting? And if i went for a Jr PM role, i would be paid three times as much as I am now?!
The money is alluring...especially when im thinking about my mortgage.
*sigh*
What to do...?
(lit: Friday Black = Black Friday)
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Joyeux anniversaire! Joyeuses Pâques!
First and foremost, THANK YOU!!! to everyone who turned up for my birthday drinks and dinner and then more drinks!!! You guys are fabulous!!! Except, next time - please stop me from acting like a fool!
=P
I celebrated BIG for my birthday. I get a throbbing headache when i think about how drunk i had gotten. So bad, that i got sick while my friend drove me home...so bad that i got sick again when i was inside my house.
BUT, it was all good. I wanted to experience it. Its like a rite of passage. I turned 26 and i had never gotten drunk. I just felt like it was something to that i should do...cos it wouldnt be right to get that drunk when i turned 30 without it being an act of depression. I wanted to let go of my inhabitions and get plastered...like something i should have done on my 21st.
I mean, it was all well planned. My friend (who lives like a street away) was going to take care of me, in terms of getting me home. And i knew he would look after me, through and through. I had my drinking buddies with me, who i knew would keep me company until i wanted to leave...but it appears they stayed long after i had left...and i knew i would have a fun night.
I wasnt expecting it to be THAT fun...and it seems some had more fun than others *cough*...
But it was fun, all the same.
There are some pretty crazy photos out there...(i believe some people are obsessed with my chest)...
In my defence, i was completely plastered. I deny everything because i dont remember anything from that night and i woke up severely hung over! My room wouldnt stop spinning and i had to sms my brother and ask him to get me a happy meal.
He brought the happy meal over with my niece in tow and she asked me why i was having a happy meal at 10:30 am with a towel tied in turban style on my head...and why my head was propped on my hand under my chin...and why did i drink so much...???
I basically told her i did something really stypid and that i would never do it again. And i really dont plan to. I like my glass of wine here and there, like after work on a Friday night, a glass of white is perfect to wind down the week in preparation for the weekend. But drinking in excess like i did on Thursday night...sorry, no repeats for this girl!
The count down of what i had, and this is the most i have ever had in my life:
(1) 2L of water before lunch
(2) Sangria during lunch
(3) 2L before i left work
(4) Midori with lemonade at EQ after work
At Lord Roberts before and during dinner...
(5) Vodka and cranberry
(6) 1 glass of Verdelho
(7) 1 glass of Chardonnay
After dinner, still at Lord Roberts...
(8) 1 shot of something really nasty
(9) 1 shot of "slippery n!pple"
(10) 1 shot of "wet pu55y"
(11) 1 shot of Agwa
(12) 1 shot of "wet pu55y"
(13) 1 shot of "wet pu55y"
(14) 1 shot of "slippery n!pple"
(15) I lost count around here...i dont know if i had more "wet pu55y" or "slippery n!pple"...
(18) I know i ended with 1 shot of tequila.
Now all those shots were in a span of 1.5 hours and by the end of it, i felt like dancing and was suppose to head to Scary Canary because some friends headed off over there, but i didnt quite make it because i started to feel sick. My friend and i were driving towards it, but i did the smart thing and told him that i doubt if i stood in line that i doubt i would get in, so we should head home...well, I definitely should head home!
All in all, if it wasnt for the up-chucking, the night was a blast - but i still wouldnt want a repeat.
The hard work i have put in to make my body healthy was undone in a matter of 1.5 hours of shots. So not worth it!!!
*A round of applause* for the bartender Cam at Lord Roberts Hotel...next time we go there, we need to bring our own cinnamon so he can make our beloved "flaming shot"...they didnt have any on Thursday night...what a shame!
I spent my real birthday nursing my hangover for the greater half of the day, and watching Season 1 of Fresh Prince of Belair, and then having dinner with my family and i ended the night with both my niece at home watching "Happily N'ever After". It was a really enjoyable way to celebrate being 26.
(lit: Happy Birthday! Happy Easter!)
=P
I celebrated BIG for my birthday. I get a throbbing headache when i think about how drunk i had gotten. So bad, that i got sick while my friend drove me home...so bad that i got sick again when i was inside my house.
BUT, it was all good. I wanted to experience it. Its like a rite of passage. I turned 26 and i had never gotten drunk. I just felt like it was something to that i should do...cos it wouldnt be right to get that drunk when i turned 30 without it being an act of depression. I wanted to let go of my inhabitions and get plastered...like something i should have done on my 21st.
I mean, it was all well planned. My friend (who lives like a street away) was going to take care of me, in terms of getting me home. And i knew he would look after me, through and through. I had my drinking buddies with me, who i knew would keep me company until i wanted to leave...but it appears they stayed long after i had left...and i knew i would have a fun night.
I wasnt expecting it to be THAT fun...and it seems some had more fun than others *cough*...
But it was fun, all the same.
There are some pretty crazy photos out there...(i believe some people are obsessed with my chest)...
In my defence, i was completely plastered. I deny everything because i dont remember anything from that night and i woke up severely hung over! My room wouldnt stop spinning and i had to sms my brother and ask him to get me a happy meal.
He brought the happy meal over with my niece in tow and she asked me why i was having a happy meal at 10:30 am with a towel tied in turban style on my head...and why my head was propped on my hand under my chin...and why did i drink so much...???
I basically told her i did something really stypid and that i would never do it again. And i really dont plan to. I like my glass of wine here and there, like after work on a Friday night, a glass of white is perfect to wind down the week in preparation for the weekend. But drinking in excess like i did on Thursday night...sorry, no repeats for this girl!
The count down of what i had, and this is the most i have ever had in my life:
(1) 2L of water before lunch
(2) Sangria during lunch
(3) 2L before i left work
(4) Midori with lemonade at EQ after work
At Lord Roberts before and during dinner...
(5) Vodka and cranberry
(6) 1 glass of Verdelho
(7) 1 glass of Chardonnay
After dinner, still at Lord Roberts...
(8) 1 shot of something really nasty
(9) 1 shot of "slippery n!pple"
(10) 1 shot of "wet pu55y"
(11) 1 shot of Agwa
(12) 1 shot of "wet pu55y"
(13) 1 shot of "wet pu55y"
(14) 1 shot of "slippery n!pple"
(15) I lost count around here...i dont know if i had more "wet pu55y" or "slippery n!pple"...
(18) I know i ended with 1 shot of tequila.
Now all those shots were in a span of 1.5 hours and by the end of it, i felt like dancing and was suppose to head to Scary Canary because some friends headed off over there, but i didnt quite make it because i started to feel sick. My friend and i were driving towards it, but i did the smart thing and told him that i doubt if i stood in line that i doubt i would get in, so we should head home...well, I definitely should head home!
All in all, if it wasnt for the up-chucking, the night was a blast - but i still wouldnt want a repeat.
The hard work i have put in to make my body healthy was undone in a matter of 1.5 hours of shots. So not worth it!!!
*A round of applause* for the bartender Cam at Lord Roberts Hotel...next time we go there, we need to bring our own cinnamon so he can make our beloved "flaming shot"...they didnt have any on Thursday night...what a shame!
I spent my real birthday nursing my hangover for the greater half of the day, and watching Season 1 of Fresh Prince of Belair, and then having dinner with my family and i ended the night with both my niece at home watching "Happily N'ever After". It was a really enjoyable way to celebrate being 26.
(lit: Happy Birthday! Happy Easter!)
Thursday, April 05, 2007
enfants, gosses...
My personal long standing belief is:
(1) If you don't like kids, you shouldn't have kids;
(2) If you don't want kids, you shouldn't have kids;
(3) If you can't be responsible for your own self, you shouldn't have kids;
(4) If you can't afford to pay for one mouth, what makes you think you can afford for a family???
(5) If you are not ready to have kids, you shouldn't have kids;
(6) There are a countless number of parentless children out there - think about that before you consider bringing another into this world.
(7) I don't think the world is as beautiful a place to live as i did 15 years ago...it has changed and with the rate that we are killing natures resources, i wonder how long it will be before these resources run out and we implode on ourselves. Why would you want to bring a child into such a world? I know a lot of people will disagree with my perspective on this one, but that is how i feel about it.
When i read this post by Sam de Brito (Mr "All Men Are Liars") yesterday, titled Childfree not childless: why kids are a luxury it really got me fired up about those particular people who want/have kids and their stance on another person's choice not to be parents, as a self-absorbed.
I also read this comment someone had left on his previous post, and wondered what bomb would drop...which i guess led to Sam's post on why kids are a luxury.
The comment from the former post is as follows:
"Parenting is all about self-sacrifice and the joys outweigh the negatives but this is something that you self-absorbed childless hedonists will never understand."
I don't deny that parenting is a self-sacrifice, which is why i believe so strongly in the listed points, from 1-7, about whether a person should bring an innocent child into this world or not. Having a child in this day and age, is as Sam describes, a luxury.
I don't believe that a person who chooses not to have children, for whatever their reason, should be called "self-absorbed childless hedonists". I think they are the people you should be patting on the back for avoiding the mistake of becoming resentful, bad parents who raise resentful, bad children that become resentful, bad adults. I mean, they don't want kids. If they had kids, even though they didn't want them, they wouldn't be good parents.
I know this is an extreme point of view, but you and i both know and see a lot of this happening out there. Some people just shouldn't be parents.
And yet they are.
I could copy and paste so much from the "kids are a luxury" post that serves as a "take that" approach of rebuttal to all those people who keep harping on about how its their right to have children and that somehow something is wrong with you if you don't have children, but i should just leave you to read it if you are honestly interested.
J and i were briefly talking about this at work (and i later sent her the link) and while we were discussing kids or no kids, she crossed over to the abortion topic...but i don't want to get into that right now...thats an ugly debate and i don't know exactly where i stand on that one.
(lit: children, kids)
(1) If you don't like kids, you shouldn't have kids;
(2) If you don't want kids, you shouldn't have kids;
(3) If you can't be responsible for your own self, you shouldn't have kids;
(4) If you can't afford to pay for one mouth, what makes you think you can afford for a family???
(5) If you are not ready to have kids, you shouldn't have kids;
(6) There are a countless number of parentless children out there - think about that before you consider bringing another into this world.
(7) I don't think the world is as beautiful a place to live as i did 15 years ago...it has changed and with the rate that we are killing natures resources, i wonder how long it will be before these resources run out and we implode on ourselves. Why would you want to bring a child into such a world? I know a lot of people will disagree with my perspective on this one, but that is how i feel about it.
When i read this post by Sam de Brito (Mr "All Men Are Liars") yesterday, titled Childfree not childless: why kids are a luxury it really got me fired up about those particular people who want/have kids and their stance on another person's choice not to be parents, as a self-absorbed.
I also read this comment someone had left on his previous post, and wondered what bomb would drop...which i guess led to Sam's post on why kids are a luxury.
The comment from the former post is as follows:
"Parenting is all about self-sacrifice and the joys outweigh the negatives but this is something that you self-absorbed childless hedonists will never understand."
I don't deny that parenting is a self-sacrifice, which is why i believe so strongly in the listed points, from 1-7, about whether a person should bring an innocent child into this world or not. Having a child in this day and age, is as Sam describes, a luxury.
I don't believe that a person who chooses not to have children, for whatever their reason, should be called "self-absorbed childless hedonists". I think they are the people you should be patting on the back for avoiding the mistake of becoming resentful, bad parents who raise resentful, bad children that become resentful, bad adults. I mean, they don't want kids. If they had kids, even though they didn't want them, they wouldn't be good parents.
I know this is an extreme point of view, but you and i both know and see a lot of this happening out there. Some people just shouldn't be parents.
And yet they are.
I could copy and paste so much from the "kids are a luxury" post that serves as a "take that" approach of rebuttal to all those people who keep harping on about how its their right to have children and that somehow something is wrong with you if you don't have children, but i should just leave you to read it if you are honestly interested.
J and i were briefly talking about this at work (and i later sent her the link) and while we were discussing kids or no kids, she crossed over to the abortion topic...but i don't want to get into that right now...thats an ugly debate and i don't know exactly where i stand on that one.
(lit: children, kids)
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
mes cheveux...
On Saturday afternoon, i visited my hairdresser and asked him to cut my hair. Obviously.
But i asked him to reduce the length by 4-5 inches.
He said 4, but it looks more like 5 inches were removed.
Its funny how secure my hair had been making me feel. I have kept it long, in terms of length, it has always sat about 3-5 cms above my waist. I'd trim about 3 inches off, a couple of months down the track it grows back to about 3-5 cms above my waist...
It was basically long enough to wrap twice around my neck on a cold night, when i find my self needing a scarf...now its noticeably shorter in length. I feel a tad naked. Its much more blunter at the ends around the back...no more wispy bits around the whole head...just around the face to make the style look softer...he reduced the "texturising" to just the layers at the front and so the rest of my head should be even steven and should look healthier.
Its funny...i asked him if he was proud that i had come back to see him for a trim in 3 months versus the 6-9 months it usually is...he told me of course, and he commented that all that he had removed in December has grown back and then some. He asked what was i eating so he could pass on to his other customers?!?!??! Because not only did my hair grow so fast, its really healthy.
I dont think most people really attribute good, healthy hair (or good, healthy anything for that matter) with what they eat. Yes, they know about it...Yes, people can read alot about it...BUT, people are still looking for quick fixes...i mean, it does explain why there are so many different "hair care" products or equipment out there claiming to help one thing or another. And i do use leave in conditioner (when i remember to) to give my long hair a helping hand...
I dont know...in some ways im a "naturalist" when it comes to my hair and skin. I dont like using too many products. To this day, i still dont wear make up to work. I put on moisturising sunscreen (SPF 30+) and lipbalm (SPF 30+) in the morning and reapply my lipbalm like 50 million times a day, but nothing else.
I actually wash my face with a cleanser that "will not strip the skin of natural protective oils or emollients, or disturb the skin’s natural pH balance. It is fragrance-free and non-comedogenic"...same with my body wash...
The only thing that goes onto my scalp and hair follicles is shampoo, conditioner and the leave in conditioner when i remember to.
I have never dyed my hair.
Sometimes, i say that and it has the same impact as me saying out loud "I have never taken a puff from a cigarette. NEVER!" And yes, it is true. I have never tried to smoke, never even lighted up a cigarette...never actually held one between my fingers...I've held a packet for my friends once...but thats as far as i have ever gotten.
Weird coming from a 25 y/o (im still not 26, btw)...? Yes...Has it really affected me in a negative way in any shape or form because i havent tried to smoke...? No.
I'm not much of a sun person...which is another reason why i think my hair is healthy. I put on sunscreen when i go out, but i dont like sunscreen staining my clothes...so i rather not go out to somewhere where it would be a requisite to slather on heaps of sunscreen...
If you are still wondering what my diet is like, because you want to grow your hair faster, here it is:
I have 1/2 a cup of muesli for breakfast with skim milk, 1 regular soy chai latte.
1L of water between breakfast and lunch.
I usually try to have a salad with tuna, 1 small whole grain bread roll, 500mL of water.
In the afternoon...at this point i can be really bad or try my best to be really good. Bad = something sweet. Good = dry roasted nuts (i got bored of raw nuts) or a small yogurt, 500mL of water.
Dinner is whatever my mother cooks, which is usually rice with something...250mL of water.
At the gym and after working out, 1L(+) of water would have been consumed.
Thats another thing...i drink heaps of water. If you could change one thing for yourself which would guarantee better skin and hair...it would be to increase the amount of water you drink...if you dont already do so.
If you already drink heaps of water, i would recommend increasing the amount of vegetables you eat...im talking dark green leafy veges and other colourful ones...like beetroot, carrots, tomato, squash, onion, capsicum, etc...AND legumes!!!
Okay, enough about healthy hair...
I'm getting excited about tomorrow being the day before our long weekend...which also happens to be the day before my birthday and all the celebrating i will do all day with my workmates (for lunch) and friends (for dinner).
Its going to be a great day...I've already received a present this morning! Its a road map of France and its HUGE!!!
(lit: my hair)
But i asked him to reduce the length by 4-5 inches.
He said 4, but it looks more like 5 inches were removed.
Its funny how secure my hair had been making me feel. I have kept it long, in terms of length, it has always sat about 3-5 cms above my waist. I'd trim about 3 inches off, a couple of months down the track it grows back to about 3-5 cms above my waist...
It was basically long enough to wrap twice around my neck on a cold night, when i find my self needing a scarf...now its noticeably shorter in length. I feel a tad naked. Its much more blunter at the ends around the back...no more wispy bits around the whole head...just around the face to make the style look softer...he reduced the "texturising" to just the layers at the front and so the rest of my head should be even steven and should look healthier.
Its funny...i asked him if he was proud that i had come back to see him for a trim in 3 months versus the 6-9 months it usually is...he told me of course, and he commented that all that he had removed in December has grown back and then some. He asked what was i eating so he could pass on to his other customers?!?!??! Because not only did my hair grow so fast, its really healthy.
I dont think most people really attribute good, healthy hair (or good, healthy anything for that matter) with what they eat. Yes, they know about it...Yes, people can read alot about it...BUT, people are still looking for quick fixes...i mean, it does explain why there are so many different "hair care" products or equipment out there claiming to help one thing or another. And i do use leave in conditioner (when i remember to) to give my long hair a helping hand...
I dont know...in some ways im a "naturalist" when it comes to my hair and skin. I dont like using too many products. To this day, i still dont wear make up to work. I put on moisturising sunscreen (SPF 30+) and lipbalm (SPF 30+) in the morning and reapply my lipbalm like 50 million times a day, but nothing else.
I actually wash my face with a cleanser that "will not strip the skin of natural protective oils or emollients, or disturb the skin’s natural pH balance. It is fragrance-free and non-comedogenic"...same with my body wash...
The only thing that goes onto my scalp and hair follicles is shampoo, conditioner and the leave in conditioner when i remember to.
I have never dyed my hair.
Sometimes, i say that and it has the same impact as me saying out loud "I have never taken a puff from a cigarette. NEVER!" And yes, it is true. I have never tried to smoke, never even lighted up a cigarette...never actually held one between my fingers...I've held a packet for my friends once...but thats as far as i have ever gotten.
Weird coming from a 25 y/o (im still not 26, btw)...? Yes...Has it really affected me in a negative way in any shape or form because i havent tried to smoke...? No.
I'm not much of a sun person...which is another reason why i think my hair is healthy. I put on sunscreen when i go out, but i dont like sunscreen staining my clothes...so i rather not go out to somewhere where it would be a requisite to slather on heaps of sunscreen...
If you are still wondering what my diet is like, because you want to grow your hair faster, here it is:
I have 1/2 a cup of muesli for breakfast with skim milk, 1 regular soy chai latte.
1L of water between breakfast and lunch.
I usually try to have a salad with tuna, 1 small whole grain bread roll, 500mL of water.
In the afternoon...at this point i can be really bad or try my best to be really good. Bad = something sweet. Good = dry roasted nuts (i got bored of raw nuts) or a small yogurt, 500mL of water.
Dinner is whatever my mother cooks, which is usually rice with something...250mL of water.
At the gym and after working out, 1L(+) of water would have been consumed.
Thats another thing...i drink heaps of water. If you could change one thing for yourself which would guarantee better skin and hair...it would be to increase the amount of water you drink...if you dont already do so.
If you already drink heaps of water, i would recommend increasing the amount of vegetables you eat...im talking dark green leafy veges and other colourful ones...like beetroot, carrots, tomato, squash, onion, capsicum, etc...AND legumes!!!
Okay, enough about healthy hair...
I'm getting excited about tomorrow being the day before our long weekend...which also happens to be the day before my birthday and all the celebrating i will do all day with my workmates (for lunch) and friends (for dinner).
Its going to be a great day...I've already received a present this morning! Its a road map of France and its HUGE!!!
(lit: my hair)
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Dimanche, premiere Avril...
(Pronounciation: dee.monsh, prer.myair a.vreel)
Its been exactly a year to date.
I went in to hibernation, i guess as a conservation/preservation mechanism.
I wanted to heal what was wounded and then move on...healing was easy...im pretty good at bouncing back...moving on is another story.
I cant say that i have "moved on"...i've just kept on moving...and moving anywhere is better than just remaining static, right?
A lot of things have been happening around me, involving me in part of the decision process. I have also made huge decisions which have impacted on my life in a positive way.
If my life did not turn the way it did one year ago i would not have accomplished all that i have and will accomplish by the end of this year.
So, in a way i am grateful for the events that took place this time last year. I am grateful that it had spurn so much change...pushed me in the right direction...forced me to take charge and get my act together...because finally, i can tick off a variety of things off my list.
(lit: Sunday, 1st April)
Its been exactly a year to date.
I went in to hibernation, i guess as a conservation/preservation mechanism.
I wanted to heal what was wounded and then move on...healing was easy...im pretty good at bouncing back...moving on is another story.
I cant say that i have "moved on"...i've just kept on moving...and moving anywhere is better than just remaining static, right?
A lot of things have been happening around me, involving me in part of the decision process. I have also made huge decisions which have impacted on my life in a positive way.
If my life did not turn the way it did one year ago i would not have accomplished all that i have and will accomplish by the end of this year.
So, in a way i am grateful for the events that took place this time last year. I am grateful that it had spurn so much change...pushed me in the right direction...forced me to take charge and get my act together...because finally, i can tick off a variety of things off my list.
(lit: Sunday, 1st April)
