Youth recaptured...?

*** A Very long post - read it at your own risk! ***

Going out on a Friday and Saturday night has been taking a toll on me...so imagine "my" last week where I celebrated my brother's birthday 3 times...dinner on Wednesday and Thursday night...clubbing on Saturday night. Went to watch "My best enemy" (Italian Film Fest) on Friday night. K&H's engagement party before clubbing on Saturday.

I have also been feeling as though i have been chasing down a million and one things just to complete one milestone. I do that for a day job, i shouldnt have to feel that way on the weekend!

Let me start my story by skipping the dinners...we started late, I ate, it disrupted my training for the JP Morgan run.

Allow me to begin from Friday. The day was restless, I had booked "Let's Do Lunch" for L and I at the Summit for 12:00 noon. Then i was having company drinks at EQ from 3:30pm. So, my arvo was pretty much a ride off.

I met up with my "Alterna-date" to catch "My best enemy" at 5:30pm. Everything was actually going well. The movie was hilarious as well as heartfelt and dramatic in all the right places. I highly recommend this movie to anyone who is interested in catching a flick during the Italian Film Fest, which is now on at Palace Theatres at either Oxford Street or Leichhardt.

After leaving the cinemas, the plan was to drive to Balmain for some pizza (keeping in tune with the whole Italian thing)...but as we walked along Oxford Street back to the CBD I tripped and ripped my thong/sandals rendering it unwearable. My favourite pewter coloured ones that goes with almost every outfit...that happens to jazz up anything casual and makes it slightly dressier...the pair that i bought on my SG/KL Christmas holiday last year.

I was devastated.

It was going to be my signature item this summer, because it has been copied left right and centre and is now sold across all shoe stores in Sydney, just not in pewter. It is the summer "IT" thongs...and i had purchased it a year ago and will not be able to find it here although there is a plethora of variations to choose from.

Fortunately for me, there was a bargain store still opened and i begged the guy who was going to close shop to allow me to buy another pair of thongs so i could at least walk to the car!

I ended up with a pair of fluro orange rubber thongs. Enough said.

My alterna-date, albeit was trying to make me feel better, instead had made me feel snipey and really really sour. He basically told me that my shoes were going to break anyway...any minute now...so i shouldnt be upset and be grateful that i could buy another pair of thongs when i did! I was flabbergasted! My shoes were not on the verge of falling apart. It was in good condition. The treads on the soles were still visible. And although i had wore it a bit during last summer, with the amount of shoes i have, common sense will have you know that i didnt wear it every day!!!

They werent even scratched!!! (Which i tend to do with every leather or faux leather thong/sandals/shoes I own)...

I am pmsing too, so added with his accusatory statement, i just didnt feel like dinner anymore. All i can say is that i was lucky to have had a packet of Twisties while watching the flick. While the alterna-date only had a choc top. Which serves him right!!!

The week had started to take its toll on me.

Thursday morning, I got told off twice (by the "Devil wears Prada" like manager) before it was even 9:30am and it wasnt even my fault. Wednesday and Tuesday things were pretty sh!t too...so throughout the week, i had accumulated a lot of angst.

The incident with my favourite thong/sandals was just pushing me over the edge.

Saturday was just crazy. I had to wake up early, drive my mother to her boss' place and deliver some dresses she had completed. Then we went grocery shopping as we always do, had yum cha while waiting for 9am to tick over. Went to the bank so we could cancel the home insurance and got told that i had to write a letter for them so that they could fax it to the insurer and cancel it for us. Dropped into an asian bargain store so that i could buy some of those disposable plastic shot glasses as i was making some champagne jelly shots and vodka jelly shots for K&H's engagement party that arvo.

After that, i took my mother to the local markets and bought 2 pots of carnations, 1 for K&H and 1 for mum. Left it with the stall owner, as we were going to roam around the markets a bit more. I bought a replacement pair of shoes for my gold open toed ballet flats. The ones i currently own have been really really...well, worn!

I then went to a stall that sold all these gorgeous dresses, they even had one of the dresses i bought in Melbourne where i paid $40 for, while here it was only $20. I was shocked that i could have saved some money had i only waited less than a month to buy some here in Sydney. So, what is a girl to do? I needed the retail therapy anyway!!! So, i bought 3 dresses, after deciding from 7. Fortunately they had my sizes too. They are all white. White with blue trimming. White with black trimming. White with floral prints! *LoL*

I decided that i would wear the white with blue trimmings to my brother's party...so, instead of going to the gym after all that shopping, I spent all of my afternoon trying to track down these white open toed Urban Soul heels i had bought a couple of years ago. As the dress was a touch retro, the shoes would have been perfect for the outfit.

But this was all after i rushed from the markets to the local Wooleys so i could get some sparkling wine and drinks for my fruit punch (also for K&H's party).

Cutting it really close as i had planned to get to K&H's by 3:00pm, I had finally located my shoes by 1:00pm. But i still had to pack everything and shower and get dressed. I also had to wash my hair...and its still long...i havent cut it like i had planned to. In between getting my dress ready, packing some make up, packing my shoes, remembering the caster sugar for the jelly, grabbing half the strawberries from punnet and putting it into a container so that it doesnt get smooshed...I managed to wash my hair and shower and get ready without forgetting a single thing before a friend arrived to pick me up! I even remembered to bring the pot plant for K&H.

See, I had to pack everything because D was driving me there, and my brother was going to pick my up and drive me to my lil brother's party at Roof Bar. K&H's party was a BBQ that was suppose to be a cocktail inspired thing...so i thought my dress would suffice if wore with sandals as i would be barefooted in the house most of the time anyway, and then for clubbing i trade the sandals for heels.

The BBQ was a blur. I remember making all the 50 jelly shots and then blending the drinks for the punch. While T had helped me chop the fruits to put in the punch. Then people started arriving and i think i had one too many cups of my own punch which was laced with passionfruit flavoured vodka along with the sparkling. I really need to stop drinking vodka!!!

Then a high school friend I havent seen in a long time arrived. We caught up over water! *LoL* I think he was preparing himself for a long night of drinking, but thanks to him i sobered up before my brother's arrived. The water also helped me for the long night ahead...

So, my friend and i caught up...he is currently finishing his PhD. And he was telling me about how much he isolates himself when he has a girlfriend and we also chatted about what makes a really good executive...i'll write another post about this later, as its pretty insightful in itself.

Basically, as we chatted it was nearing 9:00pm and i had told my brother to pick me up by then.

9:00pm comes around and just like Cinderella, i quickly say good bye to everyone and make a dash out of the house to the horse and carriage that awaits me at the end of the driveway.

We got to the CBD in record time. Problem was trying to find parking before 10:00pm on a Saturday night near the club, was not going to be a small feat.

After driving around and around for about 15-20 minutes, we located a spot on College Street. While walking to Roof Bar i told my brother that he will have to go back and get the car later and pick me up from the bar, cos being the princess i am, i wasnt going to walk back with him...and my sister in law agreed with me!

A little bit about my little brother's 19th birthday bash and why 1 x 25y/o and 2 x 30y/o were attending...

My older brother and i never get invited to any of my little brother's birthday soirees. Never. So, as this was the first time he has ever invited us, we thought we should go in support, or as chapperones, however he wanted to see it as. But i personally took it as a compliment, because i am finally "cool" enough to be part of his world. I also wanted to check out his new gf...and his ex was going to be there too! If not for support, i was going there for the potential b!tch fight and gossip.

Yes, i know, im the best sister in the world!
;p

His ex was there with all his friends when we arrived and they started to line up. And here i am, noticing that nothing has changed! The clubs still make people line up forever just to generate a crowd before they start letting people in, even though it is empty-as inside...

His new gf was running late. Hmm...im not impressed.

While we lined up we were joking about how these "kiddies" should respect their elders (us) and let us in first! My older brother and i were joking about whether we would be asked for our ID's. And to both our suprise, the bouncer asked for it. From all 3 of us. I hadnt bothered to get my license out...and in my shock i fumbled and tried to explain to the bouncer that i was too old for this!!!

He told me to take it as a compliment. And then he looked at my date of birth and told me that i wasnt old! *LoL*...was he flirting with me?!
O_o

I gotta say one of the uplifting things about being surrounded by so many young asians is that i felt mature and taller than almost 80% of the people there (boy or girl).

I also noticed the destructive behaviour of almost all that were there.

They drink like there is no tomorrow...not to enjoy the taste. But simply to put themselves out of misery from something they have been trying to get away from. The girls especially were out of control.

Although I talk about how crap drunk i feel, i was no where near as tipsy as those girls. Because (1) i actually eat food versus just gulping air and (2) i drink heaps of water, while they probably drink more fizzy drinks that the plain old H2O and (3) they dont know when to stop.

My older brother must have started to worry about his own girls...what will happen in future...because what he was seeing from these teens, he was soo not liking it!

But then we had some of my little brother's complimentary champagne, cos it was his birthday...and then we loaded up on alcohol!

Its funny, i have never seen any of my brother's dance, except at family weddings to dodgy asian band cover songs...so it was a shock to the system to see both of them dancing to hiphop. *LoL* Especially my older brother who doesnt do the "dancing" thing!

And then what was even weirder was watching my little brother and his gf kiss! Like oh my gosh...i needed to rinse my eyes out with dettol! I told my older brother while we were on the dance floor that they were kissing and i told him not to look unless he wanted to go blind...but does he listen? NO! He was staring at them like he was staring at the sun. He knew he had to look away, but couldnt help it!

*RoFL*

His ex gf was so tanked to a point where she was really talkative and was suffering headspins, and since i have gotten to know her better and she is my supplier of Veronica Mars episode, i have a soft spot for her. So, i kept her company when her friends were missing, and since the new gf has left a really bad impression with me, i was keen on showing the new gf where i stood.

To say the least, the new gf is the type of girl who opens her mouth and is extremely loud because she thinks really highly of herself. I personally believe that my lil brother is going out with her because he knows he is good looking and she is the girl that all his friends think is hot and she wanted to go out with him. So, why not...well why not is that this new gf made it clear her intentions while he was dating his ex. To me, thats low when you know someone is taken.

While i observed her i noticed how she is the centre of everyone's attention and she doesnt ever try to look around to see if my brother is with another chick or what. Not that my brother is that, like that, low! And its not because she trusts him...its because she is too busy talking to whomever to actually care. I dont think she cares about anyone but herself.

When i told my lil brother that the MC who i asked to say "Happy Birthday" to him had tried to chat me up, his new gf made this long and elaborate comment that transformed her from this asian girl to an asian girl with the fake version of the attitude of an African American woman! See, African American women can carry it off with their special kind of flair...small asian girls just can't cut it...and i make no apologies for saying so.

I felt like she was just fake. Her hair was dyed and straightened...completely fake. Her attitude and when she speaks to you, completely fake - nothing sincere at all.

But enough b!tching about my brother's current squeeze.

While i was organising my Saturday night, most people wondered if i was trying to recapture my youth...hanging out with my little brother and his friends.

I dont think i was...i knew what to expect. I have literally been there and done that...and quite frankly, i knew that i wouldnt enjoy it without some alcohol. I went prepared!
=P

My little brother's ex asked me if it made me feel younger while i was dancing with her, and no, it did not make me feel younger. It was cool that i got heaps of compliments for the dress i was wearing, and a lot of guys must have assumed that i was younger than i really am, cos they were checking me out. One of my brother's friend, without knowing that i was his sister started dedicating some of his dance moves to me...either he thought i was the token chick or he was extremely tanked...i think its the latter! *LoL*

What Saturday night...both the engagement party and the interlude at the club had confirmed for me was the fact that i am older. Give me a house party with a group of wonderful friends any day. I dont want to go to bars or night clubs...even though its non-smoking these days. I really would prefer to play cranium with a glass of wine and acting all silly in the comfort of someone's home.

I dont need heady nights out flirting incessantly with some stranger(s). I would much rather sit around and laugh about some of the stupid things we use to do when we tried to flirt with strangers.

I wasnt trying to recapture anything.
I was honestly there for my brother (+ the gossip factor).

I knew all along - I have matured.

My friend P, had noted while at K&H's party that he thought it was weird. He always believed that i was the life of a party...that i enjoyed being at the centre of it all...but he observed and noticed that i would go to the rooms where there were less people and would walk away from the crowds.

I have noticed that too.

When i was in my early 20's i would agree, that i was in the midst of it all...but now i prefer being outside of the square.

I prefer quiet, calm spaces...unless its the kitchen...then it should be noisy...and i believe that food brings people together. But at house parties...I prefer speaking to one or two people and really giving them my full attention.

I guess i'm preferring the "grown up" choices.

Saturday night was a turning point for me...especially because i was still awake for the change of Daylight saving. I was just dropped off home by my older brother. It was 2:30am and at that instant i had lost an hour.

For as long as i can remember, i have always slept through the change. And since i was awake this year, for the first time ever...its left me a bit dazed...maybe it was the emancipation...or it could have been the alcohol.

I really should stop drinking.

Nobody is born knowing...

I watched an episode of a new series on ABC last night called Family Footsteps.

"Family Footsteps is a four-part Australian documentary series, creating a "sliding door" experience for four young people by returning them to their migrant parents' homeland. Faced with challenges and surprises along the way, these intrepid explorers live as locals, experiencing how their lives could be today if fate had taken a different course.

The first in the series is Patty Veliz a 31-year-old Quechuan from Peru. Her family migrated to Australia when she was six-years-old. Today, Patty like her mother is a passionate and committed Seventh Day Adventist. The church is a key aspect in her social and spiritual life. Patty's father is a Shaman as was his mother before him..."

Thats the beginning of the blurb that you can continue to read from the link above.

I started watching it at about 8:45pm. I was intrigued by the fact that she was obviously someone indigenous from South America (I didnt know where at the time until she said so herself that she was "Indigenous Peruvian"), but she spoke fluent English with an Australia Accent. As i didnt read up about this show before hand, i didnt know what i was watching. But since i was intrigued i continued to watch it until the end.

The title of today's blog comes from the episode. It was something one of the older women (she got to know) in Peru had told her. I think its very insightful, which is also the way i felt while watching it.

But the funny thing is...while this show was about Patty and her wanting to discover more about the witchcraft her father practices - where it all began, the power of healing, what it all means to her, etc...i wasnt particularly floored by all the weird superstitious type of subject.

What i was floored by at the end of the show was actually something that i really didnt think i would be affected by so much!

I like to think that i am open minded. When it comes to other people's beliefs and their way of life, it doesnt often bother me...so long as they dont try to impose it on my beliefs and way of life.

Oddly enough, i was actually stunned when i saw Patty kiss her partner upon her return to Sydney.

Her partner was another female.

I dont think i have a problem with gays or lesbians. I have always wanted a gay friend, because i think they would provide the manly protection as much as the feminine emotional support i want and need - all in the one person without the sexual tension. I'm not sure about a lesbian friend, but i know wouldnt use that as an excuse not to be a person's friend.

I was disgusted by my reaction. Because i truly believe that i am, like i said, open minded. I was shocked and appalled that i reacted the way i did. They kissed and they were happy to see each other...am i just a prude?

I told a male co-worker and he just laughed at me and then called me a "prude"!

But then he noted that I was just reacting as most men do when they see gay men kiss. They dont really have problems with men being gay, well most men dont really have that problem because they try to be open minded too - but it still makes them feel funny! So, in actual fact, my reaction was quite "normal".

He also added that straight men would actually enjoy watching lesbians kiss.

Although, i get the feeling that most women would be like me and would not be turned on when seeing two gay men kiss.

If you are a girl, how would you feel when you see 2 girls kiss?

I am so envious...

You know that feeling you get when someone dangles right in front of your face, that something you have been dreaming about attaining for such a long time? And yet its there's, not yours...

Well lately its like everywhere i go, even while im having a meeting with a manager i get that tugging feeling. A reminder of what i don't have. What i wished i could have, but just havent seen it come to fruition...and probably never will...

Sometimes its pretty material and girly...

Like that ultra cute top...that really gorgeous handbag...that hair...that ability to apply make up on oh-so-well!...those shoes...

Other times i just wished i had the moments others have...

One of my project managers was rushing out yesterday and was running 5 minutes late to meet his wife to have lunch in the park...a mini picnic...the other apparently use to do that too, but his wife works outside the city now...i'm guessing that their wives are pretty happy with their husbands.

I'm jealous of girls who have wonderful boyfriends...who turn into fiancées...who do these fantastic proposals (you have all heard the stories)...who just absolutely adore them...

I dont deny it. Because its the truth. I am jealous.

I know...I really do...I have "the grass is greener" complex running around my thoughts.

The trainer who taught my group for my Project Management course told us a short story about the grass being greener on the other side. That its just the perception that you look at things.

The story goes...A man was working hard looking after his lawn. One day he was standing on his lawn and he looked across the road at his neighbours lawn and thought "why do i have dry brown patches and my neighbour has luscious green grass"? Some day later he walked across the road to have a quick chat with his neighbour and noticed that the neighbour had dry brown patches too.

Moral of the story is that from where you stand, the grass will always look greener on the other side.

The resounding truth is ringing loud and clear. Unfortunately, it doesnt stop me from suffering the Green Eyed Monster-itis.

Sydney Meat Market...

I caught up with a high school friend at a bar on Friday night.

I firstly met up with L and G at the same said bar. They later headed off to another bar for another friend's birthday. Our uni dinner thing got cancelled, so i hung around with the friend i was catching up with.

I met his workmates and we got to chatting. I was talking to a guy and a girl out of the group. The guy had just come back from Paris...so we talked a lot about the place and throughout the conversation, "dating" and "picking up" was intertwined.

The exclaimation of the night was basically: "Its really hard, the dating scene in Sydney!" Which came from my own friend.

And i concur. And everyone else solemnly nodded with agreement.

And then the girl i spoke to (the most that night) was saying that i was getting checked out every 5 seconds...and i was like "No...wayyyyy! I dont get checked out or picked up at bars, i dont even know how it happens!" But then she proceeded to point out every Tom/Dick/Harry who looked at me.

When i am at a bar, i dont usually drink...not until i started working at my current company. And only recently, have i been drinking more than 2 drinks. I'm usually just sitting around and talking to friends.

That Friday night, i was so tanked, i had to get something greasy to soak up the alcohol after leaving the bar!!! I actually had Hungry Jacks and a whole lot of fries. I dont like Vodka...and that was all i had that night.

Friends kept buying me drinks, even though i insisted that after the second drink i was really gone! The second drink i had was too much vodka and mixed with very little anything else.

But through this debauchery on Friday night I found the answers to my own questions.

There was like 5 guys to 1 girl. How does a girl get chatted up in such a scenario? Like i said, its never happened to me...not out of the 7 years i have been to clubs or bars or anywhere really!

(1) Don't just stay with your circle of friends. Which i always do, because thats what i am there for, to catch up and socialise with them! But the moment you arent sitting around with your own friends...the moment you branch out a little, you present the guys who are interested, an opportunity.

(2) Have a drink in your hand, even if you arent drinking it. I was transporting a drink that was given to me from another friend who was on the other side of the bar. Walking from Friend B back to Friend A, saying excuse me with a full tumbler of vodka in hand, guys parted way through the sea of people so i could get through. A lot of them checked me out and a lot of them stopped me to chat.

(3) Similar to above, point (2) - just without the alcohol in hand. Walking from a group of friends to another group of friends with a lot of space between them by yourself, is another opportunity opener. Guys will stop you and tell you silly things like they think you look Filo or Eurasian...which apparently means that you are hot to look at!

And here is the cincher...so that is how you can potentially get guys to approach you and chat you up, but the problem is that its all superficial! They dont really want to talk to me - like TALK to me. They are just sizing me up, doing a quick tick off on their checklist. But the only reason why im talking to them is because im bored. And i only want to TALK. I'm not trying to give them my number. I refused and laughed it off with the ones who asked me that night.

There was nothing substantial that kept me interested in holding an active conversation. I tried to ask questions that would help them open up...but it always went back to flirting, which bored me.

I think you can really tell when something is going to work and when it just doesnt have a hope. Picking up at bars, for me, i believe has a success rate of like 0.000000001%! And thats being generous. I would be luckier and simply more inclined to meeting someone through a friend who actually wants to get to know me, other than meeting someone at a bar. Not discounting the success stories that are out there...it has worked for others...i just doubt its worth my time to invest in such scenarios. Its just not for me.

PS: Please stop pitying those who are single! We are either single by choice or we just havent found that special someone yet.

For those who just havent found that special someone, we know it...were living it...we dont want you to ask us if we have found someone yet, and then give us "that" look. The look that says "you're running out of time"...like i said, we know it! Were living it everyday...we get enough of that look from our eager mothers, we dont need "the look" from our own friends!

Fortunately for me, i dont have that many friends who give me "the look"...this comment is on behalf of the friend i caught up with on Friday night. He is actively looking, he just hasnt found the right "her" yet.

The wicked humour that is Life...

She has gorgeous raven coloured hair that is shiny and healthy. Beautiful dark deep seated eyes, eyebrows immaculate and manicured, lips full and defined, nose narrow with just the right amount of bridge...the fairest of milky skin i have seen.

She also has a nice figure...much like the figure 8.

She has nice legs too, just the right size and shape, nice and slender and long.

But her legs are severely bowed legs. Severe to the point where she is unable to walk properly but is able to walk nonetheless. As she walked down the stairs inside the train's carriage, i was afraid that she would stumble and fall.

I couldnt stop looking at her, because she was absolutely beautiful, not because of her bowed legs. And while she spoke with her sister/cousin/friend, she sounded very intelligent and coherent. So, my assumption is that she is physically disabled, but everything else is working like clockwork. She is very much in tuned with everything.

It made me think about the irony of it all.

That here was such a gorgeous girl, but she would never know how it feels to run like the wind, because she physically can not. She will never be able to wear heels and strut with her head held high, because she is physically unable to. She is probably too self conscious to wear a skirt, because she might not like the way her legs look and for the fear that people would notice her bowed legs - just that bit more!

It also made me reflect on how i take for granted my ability to quickly rush to my train, down the stairs, so i dont miss it and have to wait 15 minutes or longer for the next one. While if she was ever running a couple minutes late and had to rush down some stairs, she probably wouldnt even bother. No point. She might do more harm to herself, then actually make the train.

Nature and Life, or is it Fate or Destiny? Its ironic how we are the way we are...

Is there really anyone out there who has it all?

Some girls look at Supermodels and think that they have it all. That they are beautiful and have money and all these men falling over themselves just to be with them. But what is it really like? You hear stories that they do drugs, most have plastic surgery because their agents think they should lose some of the fat around different parts of their body. People in the know, like the make up artists, would tell you that most Supermodels dont even like the way they look. That most are self critical and lead a tortured life.

People who are famous have lots of money, but the price they pay to be so famous...i dont think i would ever want to trade my privacy for such a lifestyle. I dont want the paparazzi in my face whenever i turn a corner. I dont want to be written about in the papers or magazine. And i dont want pictures of me looking like a slob circulating over the internet.

There is always a trade off. I think its what keeps the world balanced.

Unfortunately for the girl on the train today, her trade off seems pretty extreme. I hope that everything else in her life is peachy. You know, she really could have been a model, but i wont say its a shame that she has bowed legs. In my opinion, its better to have bowed legs than to be crumbling with extreme insecurity about the way you look, since its your day job!

This girl will go far - you can see the spirit she has in her eyes.
=)

Ageless Ambiguity...

When i was 12 and was over in Asia for a holiday, people thought i was 15 and they assumed that i was my mother's youngest sister. Back home people assumed i was 15 but they just accepted that i was my mother's daughter.

When i was 15 and was over in Asia for a holiday, people thought i was between 18-21 and they once again assumed that i was my mother's sister. Back home people assumed that i was somewhere between 18-21 and they thought i was my mother's sister.

When i was 18 and was over in Asia for a holiday, people thought i was about 21 and thought i was my mother's sister. Back home they thought i was around 21 and that i was my mother's sister.

When i hit 20, things all of a sudden had changed. People guessed the correct age, and they accepted that i was my mother's daughter, no matter where i was.

It would have been the combination that my mother caught up with her true age, while my age caught up with my looks.

My mtoher gets thrilled when people think she is younger than she is. And they often do. Fortunately, Asians age well.

Its been a while since i went into a bar or club and some bouncer had asked for my ID. But on Friday night while i was out with E and L, the bouncer did just that!

The thrill of the thought that someone thinks i am younger than i am. The last time someone asked me for my ID was when i was like 20.

To top things off, I dragged mum out with me to the shops on Sunday. I wanted her honest opinion about the cherry print babydoll dress i had been eyeing off since last Sunday. I wanted to know if it made my ass look fat! *LoL* And mum is so honest about how clothes look on me, her comments are brutal - which i need before i commit to purchasing something on a whim, simply because i like it!

While i was trying on the dress mum was chatting to the sales assistant that was serving us. She told the sales assistant my age, and the sales assistant had a spin out. I popped out to show them the dress, and it did look cute (if i do say so myself)!

The sales assistant then grilled me about my age, but only after trying to sell me the pvc faux leather inspired white belt.

She was like "No way...i would never have guessed you were 25!" and i was shaking my head "yes"...because i am 25...she shook her head "no", repeating "You're lying, you cant be 25!!! You look like your 21!!!" I then proceeded to tell her my mother's age...and that really spun her out. I looked her in the eye and told her that my mother is 52. She almost had a heart attack!

She pulled another sales assistant and asked her to guess my age and my mother's age. The girl guessed that i was 21 and that my mother was like 40. The girl serving me told her that i was 25 and that my mother was 52...the second girl was repeating "No way!!! You guys are lying!!!"

My mother and i just looked at each other and laughed.

I'm guessing my youthful (these days) look has been attributed to the 4L of water i drink a day or its because i have been prescribed with a variety of different coloured drugs for my coughing or its the Roaccutane for my acne. Either way, im loving the fact that people are starting to think that i am younger than i really am.

The realisation that i was "old" when i hit 25, had really compounded on my shoulders...the fact that the amount of responsiblities have piled up on my plate has really made me feel "old" too. So, with compliments where people assume that i am 4 years younger than i really am - its a hoot!

*^_^*

***

Ice cream making course at Serendipity was not what i expected. Nonetheless, i really really really enjoyed the Wattleseed and Grand Marnier (50% alcohol, not reduced) with orange zest ice cream i took home.

***

The Sugar Hit at InterContinental was a disappointment and im not a real foodie but i have been to the InterContinental for the last 3 years for the Sugar Hit, and it was never this bad.

The Cherry cheesecake tasted as though it was sitting outside on a table for a while and had that dry top layer. The Pistacchio & praline pyramid reminded me of bad cream on those birthday cakes from Asian cake stores that i just dont like! But the red currant Drambuie salad that came with it was tasty! The only dessert that turned out okay was the Chestnut & sago cone with malibu coulis.

Read this...

Bored at work like i am?

Then read Sam's Blog...in particular his experiment in being a woman for the long weekend.

I couldnt stop giggling at his ordeal in transforming...and at the same time i appreciate that he actually went through a brazilian to experience it all.

I also appreciate that he actually walked along George Street dressed as a woman and even had dinner in Leichhardt.

Its funny how the change in clothes, the waxed legs, the looks from other people had turned him into a demure, softer person, less confrontational, a person who avoided conflict where possible.



It seems that all the project managers around the office want a piece of my time. I told the program director that i should start a bidding war so i could get paid more!
=P

Should i be happy that the GM of our Dept is recommending me to the PMs? Smiling and saying hello to the right people works! Although, i feel like im being pimped out by the GM...
*RofL*



Aimee is soo cute. Her sister went overseas with her grandmother (sis in law's mum) and since Chloe's departure she has been over at our place a bit more...and i really love her presence. Although, im having difficulty understanding her when she speaks...she still has a bit of the baby-twang when she speaks. So, half the time i turn to my mother and ask "what did she say?"

*LoL*



Ice cream making course this Saturday...pity it will be 31 degrees out...i wonder if i get to take home the ice cream...and if so, i dont want it to melt on the drive home. Serendipity...here i come!

The Russian...

A new man started working for the team that sits next to me. I dont know if he is a contractor or a permanent employee, but i hope and pray that he is a contractor.

Reason i say this is because he makes me feel really uncomfortable.

He doesnt understand the concept of "personal" space. He puts things on my desk and makes my side look messy. I once came back from lunch and he had a stack of documents on my desk. I asked him if it was his? He said yes. But he never took it away and just left it there. So, i proceeded to lift it off my desk and handed it to him.

He just didnt get it!!!

When he talks on the phone, he speaks with a very loud and clear voice...louder than when he speaks to another person across the partition.

Its so weird.

Its like he feels the person on the phone is having a hard time hearing him, so he needs to speak up. But he really doesnt...well i dont think he does.

*grrrr*

***

I got invited to a wedding of a friend of a friend...i didnt anticipate it, and now im invited to the hen's party because im invited to the wedding. Which i only just found out.

I couldnt justify buying a hat for the races, since i should only be attending the Melbourne Cup soiree this year, but since im also going to the Girls Day Out event for the hen's day party...i think i should buy the hat i saw on the weekend. *LoL*

It will sooo go with that dress i have!
;)

***

I was asked to manage a project for The Bank. I'm such a chicken, i turned the offer down. I dont want to have a weekly meetings with them. And i dont think im ready to take the plunge, but as my PM said..."you will never be ready, so just do it"...

I still said no!

***

I'm registered for the JPMorgan Chase Corporate Challenge. Its a 5.6 km run around Centennial Park on November 15th. I have a month and a bit to train for it. I spoke with my Personal Trainer last night. He actually devised a program for me, as though i was going to run a marathon. It was so funny how seriously he was taking this run. I told him it was a "fun run"...i just wanted him to prep me so that i wouldnt injure myself on the day.

So, i have this program i am suppose to start today. It should be fine, but im still on antibiotics and have to start from square one again.

He measured me to follow up on my results from working out in the past two months. I have lost 6 cm off my chest...a very big drop...that made him panic. I lost 2.5 cm off my waist...4 cm off my hips...1.5 cm from my arm and only 1 cm off my thighs. Stupid-hard-to-lose-fat-from thighs!!!

Overall a drop of 2% in body fat in the past two months.

Slow and steady wins the race.

Eye see...

There is dressing like a professional and there is dressing like a "professional"...the former is what you would wear to an office environment during office hours...the latter i would assume is the attire one would wear late at nite, but then i really dont know, as im not 100% sure what a "professional" professional really dresses up like these days except of what hollywood has brainwashed me to think.

What i do know is that if you are a professional at 1/4 to 8 in the morning striding into work, you should refrain from wearing a white business shirt that looks like it was painted on you and refrain from wearing a black skirt where the split at the back is almost as high as your crack. Because in all honesty, that aint professional office attire. At least her shoes were dynamite!!!

=P

***

It might just be me, but Sydneysiders must like shutting the world out or something...the number of people i spot with their ipod or some mp3 playing gadget attached to them is far greater than the number of people i saw in Melbourne. It could have been that i caught the trams at a funny time, not during peak hour, and therefore missed all the school kids who'd have their ipods on. But its like 5 in 6 passengers on my train are listening to something, while in Melbourne i was the only one listening to my ipod.

Weird...

***

My coughing is still lingering and my voice is slowly coming back...*ugh*...its getting tiring coughing and having people worry that im suffering from SARS or something, when im not. And no, my abs are not getting a workout, if only...instead all im getting is a dry aching throat.

*bugger*

***

My alterna-date is doing a trip around Australia again for work over December and January. I knew about his trip to Melbourne but not the rest of Australia. I told him about how i had told my mother that he was going to Melbourne in December and how i wanted to go back at the same time with him. My mother was peachy keen and didnt seem phased in suggesting that he and i share a room...i thought it was odd since were not together and i can always stay at my cousin's place (which was what i was thinking of). And so I relayed this back to him about her suggestion of us sharing a room.

As we were chatting via email he told me about this new development, of him doing the rest of Australia for work too and that if i wanted to, I was more than welcome to join him. I started thinking "how cool" free accomodation and i get to see Uluru (formerly known as Ayers Rock)...but then i started thinking *ugh* MONEY!!! I'm saving to do Europe later in 2007...I cant afford to fly all over Australia, even if accomodation is taken care of.

=(

But the funny thing is, he offered to pay for some of the airfare.

That really took me back.

Not that i would ever accept his offer, but it was very thoughtful and considerate of him none the less for suggesting it. And for a split second...well, maybe a bit longer...i seriously thought about giving him a real chance and marrying this guy who seems to be utterly infatuated with me.

A guy who seems to want and enjoys my company...A guy who adores me...A guy who wants to share really wonderful experiences with someone and that someone seems to be me...A guy who is thoughtful towards me in every way...A guy who thinks im beautiful just as i am...A guy who always calls back...A guy whom i know intimate details about and knows intimate details about me...

A guy who is actually significantly taller than i am, for crying out loud!!!

So whats stopping me? Been there, done that...I dont think he will change in the way i need him to change so that i could actually live with him for the rest of my life. I wont ask him to change...thats just wrong! And when something is embedded in a person for all their life thus far, its a pretty hard task to change a singular part of their personality. Even if they wanted to...

Dresses...

K and i went shopping around Myers because of their mid-season sale.

While i was looking for black trousers for work, K was browsing for summer dresses.

There are soooo many around. And while we chatted i was talking about my obsession and she agreed that she all of a sudden loves the idea of wearing dresses.

I think we have reached an age where dressing in an adrogenous tone no longer seems appealing. Even my jeans have a more girly slant to it and i tend to wear cute tees or nice strappy tops with them. And to add to the girly flair, it is usually paired with heels and a nice bag.

But dresses are the epitome of femininity, are they not? Especially all those short floaty pink kinds. And if we dont wear it now, while were in our mid-20's, when will we wear short dresses to show off what legs we currently have before we give birth and our legs get ravaged by varicose veins???
*LoL*

Mum is making me a baby fuchsia with black polka dots dress, which i plan to wear to the races this year...so i will be needing a black fascinator or hat.

I have always had a variety of dresses for evening wear...but not many for casual dinner or day wear. Which is why i was pleased with my score of 2 dresses from Melb.

Unfortunately, i spotted a girl with a white version of one of the dresses i got!

*sigh*

Oh well, if you cant beat them...join them!

I think i have enough dresses for this summer, but unfortunately, if my bag and shoe collection is to go by as a benchmark, i will be buying more dresses...I need to get paid more!!!

Enough of the girl talk about dresses...back to work, i should go.

PS: My manager asked if i wanted to manage a small project. I dont know if im ready to deal with The Bank. My commitments have been narrowed down to 4 days. So, technically i do have a day free to take it on...but its a whole project...

I think im freaking for no good reason.

I should be okay to jump into the deep end, right?

Labour Day long weekend 2006...

I got home from work on Friday feeling really feverish and basically like i wanted to die.

Not a good sign for my Melbourne bound flight on Saturday. I proceeded to drink heaps of water and went to bed early.

I woke up on Saturday feeling even worse wondering if i should cancel my bloody trip, but i decided to pop as many legal pills as possible and grin and bear the flight. Worse comes to worse, i would be in Melbourne with my cousin and not stuck in a foreign country with no one i know.

I landed and was picked up and driven home safely without a hitch. I gave my niece and nephew their presents and ended up playing spiderman and barbie all night. My nephew who is 6 showed me how he gets on the internet and plays online games. Without my help he connects to the internet and then proceeds to go to his favourite links. For a moment, i actually felt dumb compared to him and his net savvy ways. *LoL* Gosh they grow fast...

I went to bed and woke pretty early on Sunday morning. The kids and i watched the various episodes on the Cartoon Network all morning. After a few various cartoons i realised i should make a move on things as Z and Em were going to meet me at 12:30pm at The Art Centre in the Melb CBD.

So i got ready and left my cousin's place at 11am. Walked along Smith Street and things felt a little strange to me. It was all oddly familiar, but at the same time some stores were different and i felt a bit spaced out. But after 10 minutes of strolling, i felt like i had lived in Melb for a year or 2 and it was like going home.

I hopped on a tram that was city bound and got off on Bourke Street. I made my way to Kinki Gerlinki to see what was in store and found a couple of items that i was keen on, but not 100% sure if i should get then and there...and the Picasso Love & War exhibition was looming in the back of my mind...i kept thinking i could fit it in before meeting with Z & Em.

So, instead of making a rash decision, i walked out of Kinki Gerlinki and walked to Fed Square. When i got to Fed Square there was an outdoor exhibition - Earth from Above...photographs taken from...der...above. I walked around that and wondered if 30 minutes was enough for Picasso. If i didnt see Picasso today, i might shop too long and not get to see it on Monday before i leave Melb. I was only in Melb for 2 days. I knew that Sunday was going to be jam packed, because Z told me his plans.

I decided to leave Fed Square and rush to NGV, next to The Art Centre. I confirmed with Z that he was running a little late and therefore i had 45 minutes to see the Love & War collection. See, i thought the range of photographs and artworks would be limited, like how it often is in Sydney (which means you see everything within 30 minutes). But this Picasso collection was HUGE. I mean HUGE!!!

I really needed to take at least 1.5 hours, but i fit it all into the 45 minutes I had. But even that 45 minutes was worth it. It will be embedded in my mind forever. There was a main room, and then there was a sign that said that there was more of the collection "this way"...i followed the sign and found another room...thinking it was a small atrium, i followed along one of the walls and found myself in an even bigger room which had another room attached (i think...there was just so much to see at this point).

I rushed out when i noticed my watch and the time...

Just in time to meet up with Z and Em.

Hopped into Em's car and we headed out to St Kilda. We found a parking spot effortlessly and walked towards the Pier and the beach...omg the beach. It was beautiful...unbelievably gorgeous...the water was so nice and inviting. I didnt get into the water, but omg...i wish i did.

After walking down the Pier and back towards the market, we all headed towards Aclan Street. Walked past Luna Park and down the street to find a restaurant that was not so busy and we could get a seat. We ended up at this place starting with a V, but i cant remember its name for the life of me. We went inside and it was quite empty...the busy bit was the outdoor/sidewalk seats.

This place had okay food and okay service, but the interesting thing was their toilets. One door had a girl dressed as a man with a moustache and hat and braces with her man trousers. The other door had a cross dressing man wearing a tight short pink corset dress and was heavily made up. Em didnt know which to use...so she went for the man dressed in the pink dress. Unfortunately for Em, that was the Men's. And she only noticed when she was washing her hands and saw a urinal in the reflection of the mirror.

She came back to the table and told Z and i about the "toilets"...i told her that i would use the other toilet and confirm if that was the girls or the guys. After our lunch i walked towards them feeling a bit dubious...fortunately for me, i asked one of the waitresses. She confirmed that the girl dressed as a guy was in fact the women's toilets.

And when you push the door, look on the floor and there is the typical pink girl cut out confirming that it was the girls toilets.

With the guys, there is a blue boy cut out on the floor. I took a photo of the pictures on the front of the doors to the toilets...but i havent transferred anything to my pc.

After lunch we stopped at the various cake stores along Aclan Street. Like OMG...the cakes!!! And OMG...the ice cream/gelato stores along the street. The lines were so long...and it was only 26 degrees, but i was informed by the Melbournians...that that was hot for them.
*LoL*

After St Kilda, we headed to Port Melbourne...I had driven past Port Melbourne previously on another trip before, so we did a quick drive and squizz. Z & Em then took me to see the Mansions around Toorak and South Yarra (i think). I have never seen houses this BIG and this BEAUTIFUL!!! The house that Z pointed out as his favourite was the most beautiful mansion i had ever ever seen. If i could, i would love to own it! The streets we drove along were tree lined and were absolutely lush.
*sigh*

After checking out the mansions, we headed to Williamstown for dinner, one of Z's favourite places.

We decided to have Jap and stopped at a place called Hokkaido. Unfortunately, the place had changed management and the food wasnt really good. Either that, or by this stage my tastebuds had all gone due to the amount of lozenges i was popping for my sore throat. But my noodles really did taste funny, and according to Z, it smelt like they had just poured a bottle of vinegar over it for the sauce. I couldnt place the weird taste (because i was sick) and when Z told me it smelt of vinegar, that was it! I could make the vinegar out as the sauce the noodles were fried in!!!
=P

We decided wash the bad Jap and get ice cream at The Ice Cream Shoppe - which claimed to be the store with the most variety of ice creams in Australia...and it actually didnt have that many on display. I had also noticed that on the big sign on the wall, it was written 3 times that there was no taste testing...which i thought was odd. I mean if you are an ice cream shop, who claims to have that many flavours, shouldnt you allow people to at least try the more exotic flavours that they have never heard before???

Anyhoo, after Williamstown we headed to the Jam factory on Chapel Street to catch a movie. We wanted to watch The Devil Wears Prada and got tickets for the 9:20pm session. Since it was 8:40pm we had some time to kill and went to Virgin to peruse at the CDs and DVDs on sale. It was 9pm and we left the store as they were closing up and headed over to Boarders as they were still opened. We sat down and perused through their magazines...hehehe...

Then we headed over to our cinema to catch the movie.

I was a bit surprised that there were significant changes in the movie from the book...but the movie was enjoyable none the less. I wont bother getting into the movie now...there is no point really.

After the movie, Z & Em drove me back to my cousin's place. It was the first time in all of my Melbourne trips had i gone home so late, midnite...how weird is that? It was fun, but i think the jam packed day had run me down, because when i woke up on Monday, i felt even more crap than before.

But i was on a mission. I have started obsessing over summer dresses. I wanted to leave Melb with a dress that i could wear during the day and at night for a reasonable price, that is different and i wouldnt be able to find in Sydney, or at least wear it for a month or two before i see it in stores around Sydney.

So, i dragged my cousin and my niece around Smith Street and then we headed to the CBD...i didnt have much time because i was leaving in the early afternoon.

But i found them...2 dresses and for a bargain price...i got the 2 for $110. I was so chuffed. I also got two mini skirts for $10 each...and a range of basic singlets in white and black.

I didnt manage to purchase anything else and i didnt get to go back to Kinki Gerlinki as i had planned, but it was okay. I didnt want this trip to be a shopping trip. And i am broke anyways...so i shouldnt have really bought the dresses, but for that price, could you blame me???

*LoL*

During the nights i was in Melbourne i got the weird calls from L & E who were up at the Gold Coast, pretending to be in Fiji or something...but they were so hammered they kept calling and either i pick up or they would leave messages where they are just calling my name and saying how much they missed me! *ROfL* E was wondering if i would lick his nipples...apparently they were taking shots every 30 minutes at any time of the day and drinking as much as they could afford.

I hope they come back to Sydney in one piece!

I had a good weekend, except for what i thought was the flu.

I found out yesterday after i called my managers and told them that i was sick and wouldnt be coming in, and saw my doctor, that i have some throat virus.

I was coughing so much and trying to talk so much yesterday, that i have lost my voice.

Oh well, things will get better by next week.

The Devil Wears Prada...

K had leant me the book, she bought it due to the hype of the movie. I thought i should read it and then watch the movie...

I'm about 2/3 of the way through the book and it dawned on me that there is a manager at work who is very much like Miranda Priestly - The Devil in the book.

Two out of the four people who are her subordinates have jumped ship, and have landed themselves positions in another department within the company. I am sure they told the interviewer that they wanted to move due to the challenge of the new role, etc. Not because their manager is a horrible b!tch who makes their lives a living hell!

The two who will be leaving shortly are the two girls. Two guys remain. One is the next in charge, so he wont be leaving any time soon. The other is the lackey that gets the blame for most things and is deemed a "troublemaker" by The Devil, but he isnt really.

The "troublemaker" was pointing out some very obvious "Devil" traits...One such trait is:

"Its like she went to the 'Obedience Training Management School'. When she doesnt understand what you are telling her, she will say one word statements/commands. Have you noticed how she especially likes using the words 'Stop!' and 'No!'...its like she doesnt realise that you are a person and not an actual dog."

And you know what, i have noticed.

The first time i ever had to deal with her, she spoke to me like that over the phone. This was when she did a manual bill for The Bank for our projects. I sent her the spreadsheet she requested that i fill out with all the details she required. I did it. I balanced it. I sent it back to her. She did whatever she had to do. Then she called me. She asked me to balance what she had done, because she didnt get my total. She then sent me her spreadsheet.

I basically went ahead and did her job for her. I reconciled her spreadsheet. I called her and pointed out all the mistakes she had made not actually blaming her but thinking it. Never once did she admit that she did anything wrong. It had to be my mistake. She did the "Stop!" and the "No!"...i wondered why she didnt just say to me "Petals, i dont see where you got that figure? Could you please show me which column you are adding to get that total?"

It was just a bunch of "Stop!" and a bunch of "No!"

I wished and prayed that i never had to deal with her in person.

Mind you, i dont have to report to her. I am only polite to her, simply because she is a "manager" and i have to deal with her to get some of my project billing done...its rare, because she gets all her subordinates to do the work while she disappears from the office for 5 hours of the working day...but i still have to deal with her that little bit, so its wiser to at least stay neutral with her.

I, unfortunately sit in the set of cubicles right next to her and her team. I hear the way she speaks to them. Its condescending and very demoralising and loud. And because i am sitting right next to her and her team...its like, she thinks she can order me around like she does her own team.

I will be on the phone with my project manager and just because she happens to be doing something for the projects im working on, she will immediately call out "Petals!" Which is followed by a "Can you come over here!" Not a question, but a demand for me to go to HER desk, to bloody answer something that she JUST doesnt understand.

At first i ignored her, my project manager is who i report to and i was on the phone with him. Mr Troublemaker informed her that i was on the phone, as he could see over the partition that i was holding the receiver to my ear. But she didnt relent. She just called out again. "Petals!"..."Petals!"...Why dont you bloody shut the f@#$ up!!!

I had to tell my manager that she was calling me and it sounded urgent...he understands that she is one sick b!tch...and told me to call him back after i dealt with her.

I went over and for some bloody reason I apologised to her for keeping her waiting. Although, i made a point that i was on the phone with my project manager.

She proceeded to ask me "What is this?"

I was a bit dumbfounded because it was another manual bill filled out to her specifications. It was balanced. It was perfect. I had even attached to the email all the required documentation for proof of work completed, so she wouldnt have to ask me for it. And yet, here she was asking me what i had sent her???

I told her it was the information she required to do a manual bill for our project that month.

She said "Yes! But shouldnt you be able to put this into the system yourself?"

I told her "No, I am unable to. The purchase order is not in the system, so I am unable to put it through. But we do have the purchase order and therefore I gave it to you to be billed manually."

Her response was "Oh."

I replied to that with "Was there anything else?" in a cheery sing song voice...thinking "you are a dumb b!tch and you have just wasted my time with something so obvious".

I have a few more encounters as such...but i wont bore you with them.

A war story from one of the girls who are moving on, was about their monthly reviews with The Devil. Instead of having just the plain old half yearly reviews, it seems their team gets reviewed on a monthly basis. They sit down with her and get reviewed on their performance. The girl sat down with The Devil one afternoon and was told that The Devil had found that she has been cocky lately.

Now let me tell you first hand. This girl is lovely. She is soft spoken and really pleasant. She sits opposite me in the cluster of cubicles. All i hear each and every day The Devil is present, is The Devil reprimanding her or telling her to do something, or asking her why something hasnt been done yet, whats taking her so long...and she doesnt give much details to the poor girl for her to do her tasks. She is pretty much like Miranda Priestly on the way she treats this poor girl...just not to the nth degree. And this girl manages to take alot of the flack without being rude, while i would have told her to shove it a long time ago. The girl is in NO WAY COCKY.

Because the girl is really polite, she proceeded to apologise if she gave the impression that she was cocky and that she didnt mean for it to come out that way.

The Devil just turned around and said "You see! THAT! You are being cocky again!"

I always wondered why the girl was upset that afternoon...i wasnt informed of this right away and it was Mr Troublemaker who told me afterwards.

The girls are going to watch the movie tonight, because it reminds them of their own Devil.

I am very grateful that my own managers are decent human beings. And that they dont treat me like sh!t...I just need to find a way of taming this Devil who bullies me when she feels like it. She really has no reason to...and i absolutely hate it when she feigns interest in me or when she feigns interest in anyone else...we all know it to be fake.

Grrr...

Its that time of the month...

Some people at work have asked me "how are you?" or "hey, why do you look peeved?" or "are you okay?"...

My typical response is: "its that time of the month..."

As though that one line will explain it all to them, but it really doesnt. And when i say "its that time of the month" i am actually referring to "that time of the month where i have to do the billing and all the financial reports and have to deal with the finance team upstairs who dont seem to understand columns and want to see everything redone in rows, etc..."

Not "that" time of the month, but "that time of the month".

And i just realised today, after almost a whole week of saying that line, that it just doesnt sound right. It sounds like im telling everyone that im in PMS mode...cos its "that" time of the month!

hmm...


I have also noticed recently, that i just dont listen to my gut feelings and havent in a long while. Since when did i stop paying attention to my own intuition??? I hear it, i just dont listen to it!!! I had feelings of reservations about many things...and i had noticed at the time that alarm bells were ringing...or my stomach was feeling restless...or something just didnt feel quite right. So, why did i white noise the ringing from my ears...pretend that the feeling in my tummy were butterflies when they werent...and that something just not right was stress from work?

Do we, as we "grow up" just lose the ability to listen to ourselves? We hear, we just dont do anything?

I once was channel surfing and stopped at a Kylie Minogue interview. She was asked by the interviewer what advice (lessons learnt) would she tell a young Kylie who was 18 and hopping on to a plane bound for the UK? Kylie said that she would tell the young Kylie to know that her opinions and thoughts were valid and to never think that they weren't and to always listen to your instincts. Because they are usually right.

Why do instincts win in the battle and rational thinking gets trampled on and left for dead in the fight? As a rational person, it doesnt make sense to me! grrr...


I caught the train Tuesday morning with that friend i mentioned before. The one whose relationship ended, although i thought it would last forever...Well, he saw me on the platform and walked up right next to me but didnt say hi. I had my tunnel vision switched on while i was on the platform, but also noticed there was a person beside me. So, i turned towards him and shoved him when i recognised it was him! *LoL*

The funny thing is, were not really friends to begin with in highschool, he was a friend of a friend's cousin...and somehow at uni, because we are both talkative and kept bumping into each other, we just seemed to form a bond. And although we stopped seeing each other due to the separate paths in our lives...whenever we talk, its like nothing has changed. Its that type of relationship thats not much different to how best friends operate, although were not best friends. One may go far away and yet when they return, its like the two of you have never been apart.

I'm always guaranteed to laugh A LOT...sometimes i have tears in my eyes from laughing that much.

It was great to catch up with him...and it was so coinky-dink that we bumped into each other like that...it was sweet too, that he got off at Town Hall with me, although he usually gets off at Central.


At the gym last night, the final combat class was delayed by 15 minutes due to a change in instructor...i was planning on skipping the class if she didnt turn up by 9:05pm. But there she was on the dot at 9:05.

So, i paid attention and did the class...then after the class i walked outside to the bench so i could drop my bag, wipe my brow, search for my keys and put on my jacket. I was soaked with sweat and just as i was slipping my jacket on, the cutest guy i have seen in a very long time, stops to speak to his cousins just to the right of me. And he was looking at me...and thankfully not with a look of disgust. But i was still mortified that he was looking at me with my really flushed face with perspiration dripping from my forehead to my brow...*yuk*...

I wonder if i will see him again, and hopefully next time, im not dripping with sweat!

Reverie Sound Revue (ii)

I couldnt really describe why i love their album so much...and then i put my rose tinted sunnies on one day, and *b!nGo*, i get it.

The music, the lyrics, that voice...it puts me in a state similar to when i put my rose tinted sunnies on, on a sunny clear day, roaming around with someone i love.

I feel nostalgic. I feel happy. I feel grateful. I feel loved. I feel like just taking off and going somewhere - anywhere. The song that really puts me in that jet setting mood is aptly called "passes & passports".



To the woman i saw at World Square today: If you ever decide to wear a clingy jersey dress again, please wear a bra. Especially on a day where the wind is blowing and its chilly. Men may find it a turn on, but at the same time im sure it would make everybody at work feel uncomfortable, especially when their eyes are getting poked out!


Its amazing, K was reluctant to jog with me at lunch. She just didnt want to and we had always power walked. But now she has decided to try it and although we are jogging at intervals, at least the intervals are getting longer each day.

Because of my asthma as a child, i had been a reluctant jogger. I have changed over the years, drastically. And now i love it when i go for a run during my lunch break these days. The wind, the focus, going by the AGNSW and then to Mrs Macquarie's Chair, the stairs, looping back. I also feel great that im not huffing or puffing as much as K...because all throughout highschool...she was fitter than i was. In terms of cardio, its obvious that im the healthier of the two, today.
=)


I totally forgot...Melbourne this weekend...and this time i will have some friends to take me around to the places i wouldnt be able to get to without a car.

I'm going to enjoy this trip, albeit, it will be a really really short one.


Good Food Month is just around the corner..."Let's Do Lunch" and "Sugar Hits" are high priority this year...I cant wait!!!


I think other than doing some of the stuff for Good Food Month, i will need to hibernate at home, especially in November. I'm going to be sooo broke after Melbourne and eating out so much.

Biological clock in Men...

When i was a child, I was told that it was the woman's fault if she did not give birth to a son as a first child. I saw it in Chinese movies, I saw it in most other movies...I was told by older relatives who did not know better.

If a child was born with a deformity, it was usually pinned on the mother as well.

It was not until i got to highschool and while i studied Science, did i learn that the gender of a child is determined by the father, its his sperm that carries either a X or a Y chromosome and races to the egg. If a mother fails to conceive a boy, its the father's "fault" really. (And i dont mean "fault" as in he "chose" what to happen...i just mean its his sperm that made the difference).

Learning this fact made me feel as though there was a great injustice. That women had to suffer the blame for not having a son when a son was wanted by the father and his family. But it is really the father who didnt make a son "happen". As i am older now, i see a great injustice in women having to suffer the blame for having difficulty falling pregnant and when they do fall pregnant they suffer the blame for either having complicated pregnancies and/or for having babies with some sort of deformity.

No one ever asks for a deformed child or a child sick from the moment they were born. No one. A mother, of all people, hopes and prays that she gives birth to a healthy baby with all their 10 fingers and toes, healthy heart, lungs and every other organ...you get the drift...

And it takes two people to make a baby, why does the blame have to reside with the mother? Its always the "mother" who was "too old", has anybody considered that the father was "too old"???

Which leads me to what i actually wanted to write about...

I read the paper yesterday and there was a small article in the back of the Telegraph and it spoke of "Biological Clocks". I thought "here we go again, someone telling me I'M running out of time...I wonder if they have something new for me to learn other than i'm screwed!"

As i really had nothing better to do, i read it, and i'm glad I did. It wasnt about women's biological clocks, it was about men and their biological clocks.

Studies have been done over the years and the findings indicate that men who have children in their later years, from 35 y/o onwards, are at a higher risk of fathering a child with autism or down syndrome compared to their 25 y/o counterparts.

In the past until this research was done, men were always seen as having "until the day they die" to father a child. They had an unlimited supply of sperm, while the women have only a finite amount of eggs.

Yes, there are some of those super mums who managed to fall pregnant at 50 or older. But the amount of mothers at that age is highly rare and is almost a freak of nature. Yet, seeing a father at 50 these days is seemingly acceptable. I mean, the men out there must be sighing with relief every time a bloke over 50 fathers a child. Think Donald Trump, Paul McCartney, Michael Douglas, et al. The men of our society probably see this as validation that they have at least 10-15 years left to father some children.

Fortunately for those wealthy men, their children have been born healthy.

But how many families out there are struggling with looking after a child with autism, because the father was 45 when the child was conceived?

I'm not writing this as an "I told you so" or to shove the blame on all the father's out there.

But if it takes two people to make a baby, shouldnt it be two people who share the responsibility of having a child with a disability and share the blame that they both left it a little too late?

I mean if the mother left it until she was happy with her career to then decide she wants a child, now at 35. And her hubby who is 45, is also quite happy now to be a father. Now when they fall pregnant, probably through IVF, find out that their one shot of having a baby is marred by a strong possibility of a child with severe down syndrome.

Who is to blame for leaving it too late?

My pretty heels, against the world.

I'm starting to believe that it all began when a gorgeous gal who loved her shoes all too much broke the heart of some charming man, making him lose his charm and he became utterly disgruntled and vengeful.

Men would turn nasty if women chose Manolo's or Choo's over them.

And so, this disenchanted man went ahead and weaved havoc on all women who loved high heels.

I bet he was the first of the men out there, who designed and paved our walkways, leaving those nut sized gaps or holes between the pavement so that we get caught or we scratch our heels from stepping into them.

Notorious locations in the Sydney CBD that have these dreaded walkways with gapping holes are:

(1) Martin Place - Every girls nightmare...I cant remember how many times i have gotten my new shoes stuck walking along heading to one of the bars. The tip of my heels were once broken along here, i stopped into a shoe repair and the shoe repair man asked if i "got stuck walking along Martin Place" - see, even he knows it!!!

(2) Opera House - Don't let those big slabs fool you, the gaps between them are deadly. My poor Urban Soul white stiletto was left with a long ugly mark. It was also the first time i wore them. *sigh*

(3) The plank walk from King Street Wharf to Cockle Bay Wharf (around the Aquarium) - You will find most girls tip toe across this, because it is well known that if your stiletto gets stuck between the wooden planks here, you are most likely going to get down on your knees to yank it out.

(4) The plank walk that goes around the Park Hyatt, The Rocks - As above, number(3).

(5) Along Pitt Street, just outside The Arthouse & The Hilton Hotel - I got my shoe stuck in one of the gaps between the pavement here recently. Although there are not many gaps...i think some man decided it would be funny to place a couple here and there so that it would be inconspicuous and the women who walk along with their heads held up, will just walk right into it.

(6) The Entertainment Quarter, the location formerly known as Fox Studios - Holes EVERYWHERE!!! The pavement has been layed in a way so that it looks like a honeycomb sort of shape. There are gaps between every flower-like blooming shape. These gaps should be filled with something, but it isnt, and so when you walk along be very wary. But since the gaps are larger than the heel, you might walk along, get that slightly sinking feeling and walk away without a major scratch. But then you proceed to take the next step with extreme caution and perhaps decide to tip toe to the restaurant or to the cinemas.

These men really hit us where it hurts, didnt they?

Its beginning to peeve me sooo much. I'm tired of wearing the newest addition to my family of shoes, and then it gets a dent/scratch or cuts, into the leather on the heels. Fortunately for me, i dont spend hundreds and hundreds on one pair of heels. And although it does hurt me gravely when my new shoes get scratched, scarring it for the rest of my life...it would hurt more for that woman who is wearing the latest Jimmy Choo's and some of the leather was ripped off from the heel when she yanked it out from between the pavement.

Men, please understand, these pretty shoes are an investment. We paid for them. They are ours and will always be around. If you are a partner to a woman who loves her shoes, dont complain when her shoes get ruined and she needs to buy another pair because the shoe repair man cant fix it. Blame it on the men who designed our walkways leaving gaps for us to get stuck in and wrecking our glorious heels!

Age of Man vs Emotional Availability...

I was going to start by saying that this was my theory...but after thinking about it a little bit more, i would say it was more just my own personal opinion and its highly generalised.

I was thinking about this on my train ride into work today. So, if its sounding sketchy, thats because i only just thought about it.

I think that younger men, men younger than my age, are more emotionally available than every other age group. I'm not sure if its because they were born into a world that started embracing emotions...they were born in a time where SNAGs were the newest thing to describe men. Maybe their fathers taught them that it was okay to cry and that it was more than okay to feel love, show love, and be in love?

They all seem to want to be in a long term loving sort of relationship...once they get out of one, they want to be in another. Hmm...maybe they are just too co-dependent? Maybe they are just cant handle being alone?

Well, for whatever reason, they are the most available for relationships.

Guys around my age, the mid to late 20's, I believe are the least emotionally available sort of guys. Simply because they are in the midst of a career change or are working towards climbing the ladder. Money does make the world go round and I think the guys feel the pressures of making a lot so that their future family can live comfortably...i mean, lets not mention the increase in interest rates, shall we?

In a chauvinistic/machismo sort of way, they need to be a "success" in their eyes. And if that is at the expense of not dating or not being in a relationship, or not finding "the one" - so be it! (Thats what i think their attitude is like).

So much time is spent in furthering their education (certificates/diplomas/postgrad), socialising with the managers after work so that they can get to know you personally, playing some sport on a weekly basis or going to the gym to stay in shape, then hanging out with their mates on the weekend, because thats the only spare time they all have to get together...

Like come off it, thats a hectic schedule - where does the girlfriend fit into the picture??? And she doesnt fit into the picture.

These guys will probably try to have a girlfriend, but it probably wont last, not until their priorities get rearranged.

Which leads me to my next age group. The 30-something y/o man.

Men in their 30's i believe are emotionally available, but are highly pedantic. They have the great career, they are a success in their eyes, things cant get any better, except the "perfect wife"...and then the "perfect family" with the 2.5 kids living in the double storey house with white picket fences...wait, i think thats the dream of American women, circa the 80's...the 2.5 kids and the house with the white picket fences.
=P

I say these guys are highly pedantic, simply because they know what they want. They are ready to settle down and commit - but only to the right woman. And i can hear the men in the background piping "but at least he is available", right?

So, based upon my thoughts, the best bet for a girl is to go out with one of these younger guys or one of these older guys. Because they are the most emotionally available. BUT, younger guys are a risk, because when they reach their mid 20's they may change...to become one of those career oriented mid 20-something.

Therefore, the 30-something may be the best choice, but only if you are the right woman for them!
=P

*LoL*

And yes, there are exceptions out there...just like every software program written. And in the programs, a line of code can be added to catch these exception. (Geeky programmer pun intended!) In reality, those exceptions get "caught" by some girl before anybody else has a chance...because she knew he was one of those exceptions!

So...30-something men...

Me + Dag = Other good catch...

I popped over to the Glebe office today, to visit my monkey. I knew it would be like a 1 minute meeting, but the project manager insists that i waste 1.5 hours by travelling from our CBD office to Glebe and then back...just to see the monkey.

So, i went. But i had my really quick meeting with him and then spent the rest of the time catching up with other teams that i use to have lunch with when i worked at Glebe.

The manager, who offered me 6 figures for the contract role he really wanted to fill, was telling me about his newest addition. He use to be a monogamist, but since his divorce he has adopted polygamy. He likes to have 4 or 5 girlfriends, one for each day of the working week, while the weekends is exclusively for his kids.

In a very mocking way, i told him that his life was wild and exciting and in reflection to my own, my life was boring as...now stupid me, i also said, "if only i had that many boyfriends"...

Either he took me seriously, or i must be looking lonely and/or desperate these days...which is a worry in itself.

He suggested, since "from his experience" that i take a photo with our mutual friend and colleague (who he thinks is a dag) and pretend that he was an ex. Then, he can use that photo and pimp me to some eligible bachelors.

According to this manager, if you are in a photo with someone who is a bit of a "dag" it will then:

(a) Make you look more attractive, comparatively, standing next to said "dag".
(b) Make the person you are being pimped to, think that you must be a really special and nice sort of person to have given said "dag" a chance.
(c) And at the crux of it all, IF you did go out with said "dag" then the person you are being pimped to will feel as though they have a good chance in getting to know you. The fear of rejection is greatly minimised.

So, for most of the afternoon, i was dodging this manager, trying to avoid being snapped by his mobile camera...bloody 2M...

Now speaking of this manager and his polygamous relationships...

Listening to him talk about how much fun he is having is intriguing to me, as i have never met anyone who managed to have 4 or 5 girlfriends at any one time. Having said that, I am also quite turned off by it.

I am a person who believes in monogamy.

What i dont get is why these young asian women are comfortable with being only a girlfriend on either Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday? And I dont get why they are so comfortable with the knowledge that their boyfriend is being shared with 3 or 4 other women.

This manager is up front. All the women he sees know that they will only be getting one day of the week. They know that their boyfriend is seeing other women. They know that the intimacy will be shared amongst all of them.

I think that's the thing that would kill me the most, if i was in that situation.

I dont want to share the intimacy i have with someone with 3 or 4 other women. I only want the intimacy to be shared between him and i, thats it, no one else.

So, the question on my lips is "How are they so comfortable with sharing him?"

These women are intelligent, attractive and fun to be with...I wonder why they havent snared a man and gotten married already. But that kind of wondering opens a can of ugly worms...so lets not go there.

The turnover rate of these women arent that high...every couple of months, only one gets swapped with another...so i guess there is some form of retention.
=P

hehehe...

I cant wait until the next time i visit Glebe...i'm pretty sure there will be more news of his 4 or 5 girlfriends...until then, i guess.

How delightful...

It was 1pm today...

I drove past a bus stop that didnt have seats or any covering.

There was an elderly man and an elderly woman, both asian.

If i had to predict their age, i would have to say that they were in their late 50's or early 60's.

The man was wearing a hat and leaning against his cane. The woman was crouching beside him, hiding under his shadow while he stood blocking the sun for her.

I was amazed and felt all warm and fuzzy.

Its not often that you catch a sight like that, where asians in their generation publicly display their affection for one another. Heck, most asians in the "older" generation (and i mean anything older than me) abstain from ever showing their affection for one another at home in front of the kids, let alone in public.

It has instilled a bit more faith in me, that love like their's can last through the ages.

I also love watching elderly couples holding hands while they walk along the street. Its like sooo cute!

I think that kind of love is sooo hard to find these days.

But one can hope.

Mum Inc.

I now understand why some women in their late 20's start panicking about their biological clock.

Did you know that the moment a woman turns 27, their ability to fall pregnant drops. Give or take a few years because everybody is different...and after 35...ur pretty much screwed.

I only recently found out this info. And its put things into perspective. I mean, if i was keen to have a baby naturally, and not through IVF, I would have to meet someone ASAP, and marry him and start bonking away like there was no tomorrow.

Ha!

Luckily, im not too fussed, but i now understand the pressures a girl might feel if she was really interested in having a family of her own and becoming a mum.

Its hard enough to find a partner who has the same interests as you to spend time with, let alone a partner you want to marry and spend the rest of your life with - to be the father of your child.

So, from now on...i promise not to laugh at any girl who is freaking out about her chances of becoming a mum.

My experience at being a house sitter for the past week and a half has also made me wake up and realise a few things.

I have always appreciated mothers world wide...for their hard work, no pay, lack of recognition and sometimes ungrateful families.

I can honestly say that i have not done things as well as my mother. I have most probably done 50% of the work my mother would normally do...keeping in mind i was trying to balance 8hrs of doing "work" work with all the house chores. But then again, my mother "works" full time as well as being the homemaker - which is a full time job in itself.

I dont know how in the world mothers out there balance being full time mothers as well as keeping a position in the work force.

I cant do it.

With the rain, it put all the washing out of whack over the weekend...and then finally some sun broke through the clouds yesterday, so i was doing loads and loads of washing. (And dont even ask me how my father and brother manage to wear that many items of clothing!) I didnt manage to do any work at all, because by the time the washing was done, i had to start cooking dinner.

I had a conference call at 9:30am and i think i answered a couple of emails, like 2...and then that was it, my day was over.

By 5pm I was buggered, grumpy, and i felt like i hadnt achieved anything significant at all.

Not only that, my father complained about the beef. That it must have been cut incorrectly because it was tough and not tender...ugh, talk about the lack of appreciation. I dont know how my mother deals with it. I dont know how other mothers/wives deal with the criticism...

Like hello?! I'm not just sitting at home twiddling my thumbs.

=P

Being a homemaker is a full time job. A full time job i'd rather not have...

I'm not cut out to be a stay at home anything.

No offence to those who can do it, its just not for me.

I realise it. I accept it. And kudos to those mothers, wives, partners who manage and do it well.