Run Forrest Run...

When i was a kid and on a plane flying to HK on a holiday with my mother, i happened to be fortunate enough to catch Forrest Gump on the flight.

I really connected to Forrest in terms of the way he felt he was incapable of doing certain things. The day he got up and ran for his life and proved that he could run was the type of days i use to yearn for.

I hated having asthma as a kid.

I couldnt play as much as the kids on the streets or at school.

I always felt limited and above all, i was scared that i would have an attack if i did try to play and end up in the hospital.

I think dealing with asthma has come a long way in 26 years.

I dont think i really "grew out" of it. I think i exercised it out of my system and taught my lungs to breathe properly through aerobic exercising.

But when i was a kid, no one, not even the doctors really informed my parents that i should exercise and keep at it. To train my body to deal with it and that there would be light at the end of the tunnel, that there is hope, a huge hope that i will no longer have to be dependant on Ventolin.

The day i stopped using Ventolin before i started doing any aerobic exercising at the gym, was the day i felt as though i had conquered Everest. It felt as though i had ran a marathon...without the wheezing.

Even though i havent used Ventolin for over 7 years now, i had never actually attempted to run outside for a distance. Remember those Cross Country races at school? I always started the race, but had to pull out because i would have an asthma attack along the way.

I think that fear had gripped me until recently when i had prepared for the JP Morgan run (that race that never happened due to the weather). I started to actually try to run certain distances and found that i could do the distance with a few breaks powerwalking between.

I stopped trying to run the distance when the JP Morgan run got cancelled, but recently attempted to run again - just for fun.

From my house to the local city farm its 4km. So, the total distance there and back is 8km.

My friend and i went on the first attempt and i found that i was completely puffed. We attributed my lost breath to the the dairy i had 2 hours before the run. If i can do the run between my office to Mrs Mac's Chair and back...i should at least be able to do 4km without dying.

I tried the run again yesterday and found that i could do the first 4km easily...the trip home was another thing. But i still managed to finish the 8km under 50 minutes.

While running yesterday, it felt great. I realised that i was achieving something of immense magnitude. Well, for me anyway. I never could see myself run...and here i was...even after breaking my ankle last year.

I may not be Forrest Gump, but i think i have achieved a personal best - from never running and now being able to comfortably trot for 4km.

The trick now is to actually run the whole 8km...and its my challenge now. I want to improve my fitness to be able to do this without puffing out.


I've watched "So you think you can dance" since it started and i am completely hooked. And for some reason, when i watch the partners dance, i feel like dancing too. *LoL* My feet start tapping or i feel like wiggling my bottom and prance around the house.

Depending on how things work out over this holiday, i think i might start taking lessons. I had searched some schools that teach the Lindy Hop (Swing) because i absolutely love the music...but im now thinking that i want to Mambo, Samba and Cha Cha...ahahhahaa...

As for who i want to win the competition...in terms of couples i really like Natalie & Musa, and Ben & Doniella (?). Musa, being an untrained dancer seems to have a natural ability and Natalie really complements him with her technically trained abilities as a dancer. Ben and Doniella are both fabulous dancers and have a hoot every time they dance. Which i think is the only reason why you'd dance - to have fun, to enjoy yourself...its not meant to be a chore. Within these 2 teams, they are really supportive of each respective partner, and i think that shows when they dance.

I actually make my Sunday evenings free so that i can watch this show.

I cant wait until next week's episode!

Musicovery...

A workmate sent me to this link for an interactive web radio.

I have never heard of a RnB song - French style before.

But on this site i am currently listening to the rnb songs and amongst Mariah, En Vogue, TLC, Alicia, Destiny's Child, etc...there is a song listed as "Matt - Petite Fille".

I quite like it! Even though, it does sound a tad cheesy...but since i dont quite understand all the words...its good for now!!!

*LoL*

And it was only an hour ago when i told K that i wanted to go to a book store during lunch to pick up a "Learn French Conversation in 2 weeks" type of a book so that i could learn/refresh French 101 during my 2 week embargo at work during the Xmas/NY break.

***

I was like 27 minutes late waking up this morning. But i managed to still get into work only 15 minutes later than i normally would walk through the door.

Being only that little bit late means i see different people at the trainstation. I saw this couple sitting on the bench. The guy is uber cute. The ultimate type of guy i would be very interested in. The girl is a complete hottie. I can only assume that they are a couple.

The guy after a couple of moments, opens his backpack and presents the girl with a gift. It was something in a lush oriental inspired metallic-beige gift bag with some cherry blossom print on the outside.

I would have personally gushed about the gift bag alone before i realised there was a gift!!! *LoL* But when this girl received the gift bag, she looked as though she was yet given another token from someone in her fanclub...very bored...uninterested...i dont think she even muscled a smile of gratitude.

Yes, i stared...why wouldnt i? I finally found a guy i could perve on, in like yonks...who lives locally...and the gift bag was really nice and i wanted to see what the gift was...but the girl didnt even bother to take it out of the bag. She took a quick peek into the bag and just put the whole gift bag into another bigger bag she was carrying. She didnt smile, nor gush, she didnt give him a hug, nor did she bother to give him a quick peck on the cheek.

I'm shocked by the fact that she was so ungrateful...are you?

***

I have been having vivid weird dreams.

I would wake somewhere between 3-4AM after my body feels like its overheated. And when i try to go back to sleep after kicking all of my blanket off, thats when i dream. These dreams that occur now after going back to sleep, i happen to remember.

The last time i had this type of thing happen, i dreamt my brother and his ex broke up. And yes, it happened, but i didnt know and no one told me that they had broken up. It felt very deja vu-ish. It felt like i was psychic...but i'm not.

Thursday morning...4:30AM...i woke up with a start feeling overheated. Kicked off my blanket, as per usual. Then proceeded to go back to sleep. It was a bit of a struggle, but when i finally did, i started dreaming about a colleague and how she snapped at me.

I actually remember it down to the finer details. She told me to fix up a column in the billing, but that column is a "Comments" column and all the person who was using my spreadsheet had to do was expand the column width to see all the details. But she wanted me to wrap the text or change the whole spreadsheet. Which quite frankly, i think is a dumb thing to ask, but the spreadsheet has many lines of details, expanding it that way, would make it bigger than it is.

So, i calmly ask her what the "Comments" column was required for, to ascertain what the comments i put in there will be used for, as it really is only for my eyes and my managers. Not hers or the other person who is doing the work for her team.

She goes ballistic and very defensive, when i was only asking her a question.

So, i ask her to stop for a moment and take her into a meeting room to discuss this out of earshot of everyone on the floor.

She continues to rant and rave, and i let her. But when she is done i tell her very professionally what i was asking her was very simple. I only wanted to know what the comments were going to be used for. Thats it.

She obviously was embarrassed by the fact that she ranted and raved before she understood what i was even asking.

I then proceeded to advise her as a friend - because in real life we are "friendlier" workmates, that her reaction would not be taken lightly if she had spoken to someone more senior. Just because her current manager thinks that it is an "okay" sort of behaviour (manager is the Devil wears Prada woman - who was made redundant by the way) does not mean any other manager will tolerate it as it is very unprofessional and presents her as a defensive and difficult employee.

That was dream one.

Dream two was actually of my lil brother again. And same deal as in a break up between him and his gf...But this time he was upset because his current gf had broken up with him because her parents didnt want her to see him anymore. The reason why they dont like him is because my family is not as rich as hers. (Obviously she is from a wealthy family).

She is Vietnamese and Vietnamese parents who have money are VERY BIG SNOBS. There are exceptions, but majority are...my Mum is Viet and she believes this to be heavily true in Vietnam and even when those Vietnamese who come to Australia, they dont change and hold on to their snobbery.

I told him to get over it. If a girl really loved you, she wouldnt care what her parents thought. Because she would know you and she isnt a snob like them, she would accept you as you are.

But he was pretty cut up about her.

I havent had a chance to speak with him since the dream...like the last time. But i wouldnt be suprised if this dream was true. I forcast that sooner or later, they will break up. She isnt worth his time. I didnt like her the first time i met her. She just completely turned me off and i didnt even want to make a conversation with her, but then she didnt want to speak to me either...which is a stupid thing to do with your bf's sister who you just met and dont really know well.

Funny thing is, im easy to talk to...if you want to speak to me, i'll chat to you without reservations...but she just wasnt worth my time. Everything about her screamed "me! me! me!" and thats how it pretty much is about her.

Weird how when you get older you can read people so much better with ease. Well, its not weird, but im grateful that reading people is getting easier for me as i age.

My review...

I had my annual review today.

It went well - in terms of showing off my achievements, how much our clients love me, how much of an asset i am to our company, how much more i will be able to contribute next year.

What didnt go well was when i was asked whether our contractual payrise of 10% was enough?

It isnt for what i do and what i have achieved.

But i have been really relaxed about how much i get paid simply because i didnt have as much of a financial responsibility last year compared to this year. And the fact that my company has paid for all my certifications, the laptop, and mobile helped with my rationalisation of my remuneration last year.

Last year's review i told my manager what i wanted to achieve in 3 years time with the company and in terms of personal skills improvement and career progression.

I have basically fast tracked all items that were mentioned within a year.

I have basically surpassed my expectations as well as his.

Therefore, I believe i should be paid at least in the mid range of market value if not greater, but i will be happier if my base salary meets mid range. I currently sit on the lower echelon. Which means i am being paid below the average. And that was fine...but now that i am certified and have 3 years experience, i believe that i should be able to command more.

I have developed relationships with the clients that no monetary value can place. The clients dont want to lose me. They sort my schedule around amongst themselves so that whomever needs me can have a piece of my time. I dont have to raise a finger, it will all be done for me. I basically say yes or no to whether i want to work on which project.

In terms of revenue for our company, i basically have generated all of my own (worth) this year, soley due to my reputation at being the best and most well rounded in skills for what i do. (I am the only one in my team to know SAP).

And even though i have given my sales pitch in proving how invaluable an investment i am to the company, i feel iffy as to how much of a raise my company will offer. The 10% is guaranteed. Its contractual, and basically if you do your work and do it passable without hiccups - you get your 10%.

My manager said he would think about it.

I guess i will have to sit and wait to see what he comes back with.

Smart and Casual...

Since when did the attire "Smart Casual" refer to jeans and sneakers?

I have always been under the impression that "Smart Casual" really referred to what you would wear to work in a typical office environment. But for men who wore suits and ties daily, it really meant collared shirt, minus tie and jacket.

Our work function which is about to kick off in 1 hour time has been defined as "Smart Casual" and yet the whole floor that i work in has turned up in jeans and sneakers (jogger like, not designer like).

Only a few managers who had meetings with clients have worn shirts and dress pants. They have proceeded to take off their ties.

I'm not fazed about what i am wearing. I wore a wrap dress and i look like a person who actually had work to do.

What i am fazed about is how laxed the people i work with are. If they were invited to another event, like a birthday, or an engagement party, etc...would they have also worn scruffy jeans and sneakers thinking what would normally be defined as "casual" was "smart casual"???

What they are wearing today is normally reserved for "Casual Friday's"...its never been referred to as "Smart Casual Friday's" has it???

Is this occurrance just in Australia?

Am i wrong to think that "Smart Casual" should be more than jeans and sneakers?

Calm...cool...relaxed...

I am really surprised that everything has come together for me this year.

I am blessed.

I am very lucky, actually.

I am also uttery grateful for the events that have occurred this year as they have unfolded, when they have unfolded.

If he didnt break my heart when he did, i would not have decided definitively that i was going to explore Europe on my own.

Making the decision to go to Europe forced me to save more this year.

Then the opportunity to buy the house came up and with the help of the government, as a first home buyer, things just came together. It was a struggle at the time and being a single buyer it was somewhat tricky.

But since the home has been settled and the fact that i recently paid for my trip in full...things have gone quiet.

Not at all bad.

My finances are in order. I'm going to allow myself to splurge a little this month...it is Christmas after all...but i will start saving again next year...its always smarter to have a little tucked away for a rainy day...and i am thinking about taking mum to SG and KL for Christmas in 2007 after my Europe trip.

Life is good at the moment. I spend more time with "the girls" (my nieces), as well as the girls (friends)...and all the guys. I spend more time at home. I actually want to be at home - relaxing. And i do things on my own - who better to spend time with? I mean, i have to live in this body for the rest of my life.

I am happy. Actually content. I am at ease.

Life can always be improved...but i really dont have the right to complain at this point in time!

So, im just going to party, party, party.

*^_^*

Feeling like it was 2001...

I've just spent all this time reviewing a major Business Case and in it are descriptions of network designs, which applications are being migrated, what kind of solution will be implemented in the coding...

Thats only as far as i got.

I also spent 3/4 of the time doing searches online to review all the things i dont remember from the Networking course i did back in Uni. Especially the easy stuff like the 7 layers of the OSI model...quite frankly, i dont recall much of it...i remembered that there were 7 layers and thats about it.

But when i started reading it again, i felt like i was brought back to the lecture theatre listening to Tony "Something" who was this spaced out hippy-like lecturer, but who was way cool and a really understanding person.

Reading the Business Case further, going through the steps of these migrations it hits me!

I'm doing a project like the one i did for my 3rd year final major group project. Something of that scale. I started thinking about how i would code these functions in the program.

*hold up*

Like, wtf? Why am i thinking about programming?

The beauty of all of this...is that i dont have to touch the programming at all!

*phew*

I just need to make sure someone else who knows what they are doing, complete their tasks so that they next person can do their bit...and that the whole project flows as smoothly as possible!!!

*sigh*

My weekend...

*Updated at 11:30AM*

I chopped off 3 inches of my hair on Saturday. About time really. It was getting too long. The fact that i could feel it skimming my lower back while i was sitting down was an indication that it was getting too long. My hairdresser also "texturised" my locks and therefore culled half of its thickness, once again.

The wedding was less tacky than i was anticipating - simply because it was at an Asian seafood restaurant, not because of the couple. But since it is a new restaurant, the decor and the food was pretty fresh and interesting.

The bride's mother made her dress and it was gorgeous. She also made the bridesmaids dress and they looked good too.

I got sat at a table with M & D, whom i affectionately call "Mey-vid" now.

There were some of the brides workmates (3), all caucasians who must have been shell shocked by the food that was on offer, as they didnt try much of it. On our table there were 3 other people and an empty seat. The 3 other people were one of the bridesmaid's sister, her sister's boyfriend, and her fiance.

The fiance actually recognised me from uni. Small world. I later learned more specifically how i knew him from uni...i asked him what year he finished and figured (guessed) that he knew one of my close girlfriends from uni.

Since we had this connection through friends, and he was stuck at a wedding where he didnt know many people, you would think it was natural for him to make conversation with someone he sort of knew by association - moi.

But why is, that if a guy (who is taken) and is talking to a single girl at a wedding, that it is automatically assumed that the single girl is trying to crack on to him???

We are not all desperate women.

And why is it naturally assumed that I AM SINGLE??? Even though i am single, i am not a butt ugly person...i dont think i come off as desperate (i dont feel like i am) and i wasnt even flirting with him. There was a metre gap between us!!! It wasnt like we were sitting next to one another and we were rubbing shoulders!

Why cant they just assume that "my bf" wasnt invited because the bride/groom didnt know about him, or dont know him well enough, or he is away on a business trip...holiday...has another wedding to attend - i mean it is the season!!!

Instead of giving me the benefit of the doubt, his fiancee acted as though i was a predator trying to capture her man. So, she never said hello to me...never gave me a smile, or even a half smile...she didnt make eye contact or try to speak to me at all...quite frankly, even at the end of the night she was still acting like the ice queen from hell.

Meanwhile, all her fiance and i were talking about was her! Thats after the initial discussion around the table about everyone's occupation. We talked about how he met her, how he proposed to her, her favourite song that was being played by the band that night and therefore he should try and find her to dance with her, their current wedding plans: Western style or Traditional Asian style? We talked about how he proposed to her...one knee? M asked if it was a surprise?

And see, thats another thing. He was talking to M too. It wasnt just me all night - but if she was watching...she probably watched him while he spoke to me more often and anyway, since M was with D...M most probably wasnt seen as a threat.

If only she knew, she would feel like a fool for being a bitch to someone when it was all uncalled for. I dont need to say it, because i hope she wasnt worried about him being tempted by me, as there was no temptation to begin with and he absolutely loves her and cherishes her - she'd be a bigger pathetic fool for doubting him.

Overall, my evening was okay - but i was jipped of any wedding cake.

Out of the whole evening, their was a weird moment. Before the evening had progressed to the "Disco Phase" towards the end of the night, he told me that he hoped that i was successful in the future as a Project Manager and that i get everything i want in life - but then he knows that i will get to where i want to be and basically achieve everything i set out to achieve, because he sees it in me.

Now, normally i would just take this vote of confidence as something a close friend is saying to motivate me and make me feel better about myself. But coming from a person that i only just got re-acquainted with by 6 degrees...not quite friends...whom i spent the evening making polite enquiries about his future missus...is pretty odd.

And he said it with a sure amount of conviction. Which leaves me baffled. Its not like what he has said has been keeping me awake and sleepless at night. But when i think back to it, i wonder what he really means by it? Does he know something that i dont know??? Was he just being the nice guy that he is???

He didnt have to say anything nice to me though. I could see a long lost friend wishing me all the best after having a quick catch up conversation - because i would. But i would give a long lost friend a short "well, i should get back. I hope everything goes well with 'insert what they are trying to achieve here', but i know that you dont need it..." sort of sweet sentiment. And my friends are often high achievers...so i know that they dont need me wishing them luck...but just for good measure, i say it!

The ice queen was by his side when he said "bye" and she didnt even look at me, let alone utter a "bye" as a reflex, because her partner said bye to me. So, i just smiled at her and said bye to him and her.

I like moments like that. It confirms that i am a better person than most people out there...well it confirms that i at least have better manners.

And its a worry that she is a doctor. Imagine if she thought her patient was trying to hit on her fiance??? *gasp*

* UPDATE: In my meeting at 9:30AM, my manager sprung on me that i will be getting involved in a PROJECT so that i can MANAGE some in the coming year.

I usually get involved in projects during the implementation phases. So, now he is involving me right from the start, so that i can get my hands dirty.

Joy.

I'm a day late with this, but anyhoo...

I thought about it tonight, I’m lucky to be alive
I never thought these city lights would ever shine so bright
Floating on the surface, threatened to be dragged down
I thought I was lost forever, it turns out I’m alright


Sweetest November, winter wasn’t here forever

Time to rest your weary head in the sun
Sweetest November, the world’s renewed its colour
Only just in time to welcome summer

I thought about you tonight, I’m lucky that you’re alive
Even in these uncertain times, you’ll make it through the night
You were floating on the surface, threatened to be dragged down
I thought you were gone forever, it turns out you’ve been found

Sweetest November, winter wasn’t here forever
Time to rest your weary head in the sun
Sweetest November, the world’s renewed its splendour
Only just in time to welcome summer


Captured in this light, beauty will survive

Purified by fire you have made it to the sea

Sweetest November, winter wasn’t here forever
Time to rest your weary head in the sun
Sweetest November, the world’s renewed its colour
Only just in time to welcome summer

~Sarah Blasko

What do you believe in?

The protesters have come to the corner of Liverpool and George Street.

Its a sight to behold.

I am actually moved by the amount of people and the fact that they are standing up for what they believe in. I almost cried...but i stopped myself.

I have no right to cry. I'm not out there supporting them. I should be though, supporting all those who are opposed to the government reforms on Industrial Relations.

Thousands of people out there...its a statement.

Rapunzel is free...

I sat watching and listening to the bride and groom making their speeches and i had always known that the bride loved travelling, but then i realised that groom shared that love too.

He told everyone that he realised while in the jungle of the Amazon and the threat of some animal attacking or his boat capsizing, his life was complete because he was with her...so if he died, it wouldnt matter.

The bride has had many marriage proposals with guys im sure she loved.

Their wedding and that knowledge of the bride's past has made me realise that love is ageless.

It also made me realise that love comes to those with hearts that are open to it.

I have been walking around wounded for a very long time. My heart has been closed off and strapped with a clock, indicating that it will soon expire.

Tragic, i know.

With this moment of the light bulb going off in my head you would think that my perspective has changed. Not quite. But im getting there.

Was the wedding any fun? The bride and groom enjoyed themselves. I didnt. I was missing out on Kylie!!! The only thing that redeemed this wedding reception from bad to passable (from my perspective) was the fact that they had a cake done in the western way - thick white icing that you had to attack with a spoon a few times to break a piece off. I had two slices of cake!
^_^

Another wedding this weekend, but on Saturday instead. Yet, another seafood restaurant. I'm not quite a seafood fan. Oh well.

Oui, mon ami...

I paid for my tour this morning.
It is early, but thats how i managed over $700 in discounts and cheap airfares.

Everything is booked and ready, except the apartment in Paris...but that will be done shortly!

^_^



My friend will be working for my company next year after her holidays in Hong Kong and Thailand. Woohoo! Another friend joining to monopolise on the company!
;)


Party season is full steams ahead starting from Dec 6. Company (our client) relaunch...the Xmas party (client) on Dec 13 and then my own company's party on Dec 21.


I'm apparently too nice. The other day there was a man from a different company who went into the lift with all of our own staff. We were all getting off on either level 20-24. His company is on level 15. Everyone swiped there cards to let them up to their floors. His does not require a swipe card. I was the last person to swipe my card for my manager and another coordinator. He tried to press 15 for his floor but it didnt light up.

I swiped my card and pressed 24. Then i pressed 15 for him and asked him if that was where he wanted to go. He said yes and thank you. Level 15 is the first stop from the ground floor, so it was lucky that i managed to press it before we had passed it.

When everyone alighted out of the lift and there was only my manager and the other coordinator left. The manager said "I am such a b!tch. I would have left him to ride up the lift all the way to 24 and then let him make his way down to 15. You are too nice."

I dont think its overly nice. I think its just courteous to do so. hmm...


Today, as i was walking to meet with K, a little Korean boy walked up to me to ask if i was Korean? No. He then proceeded to ask me for $1. I sort of looked at him blankly, and then i asked him why he needed $1? He apparently lost his wallet or forgotten it. Its hard to understand a kid who doesnt speak fluent English and still has his accent. He needed it to catch the bus. Although he had a train ticket.

The thing is, he looked barely 12.

So, the sucker i am, i gave him the $1 and told him to go home...not in a harsh way, but in the big sister "you should go home before you can get into any trouble" sort of tone.

When i walked off, parting way with the kid, i wondered if i had done something wrong? It just all felt off. Not that parting with my $1 was such a big deal...I mean only less than 4 hours ago i had given up a big chunk of my savings for my trip to Europe.

But i was wondering if he looked sallow in the face because he had taken up smoking...or worse drugs...although he didnt look all that out of it...but i wondered if i was contributing to something bad, other than just helping a helpless kid?!

How weird is that? I try to do something good, only to find myself feeling as though i have committed a crime.
=(


Dinner and drinks with the girls tonight. Rest tomorrow. Wedding on Sunday...the day where i was suppose to go watch Kylie...*sigh*...

The things i wont tolerate...

From watching Dr Phil (or Oprah...cant remember now) on Friday when i was "working from home"...

There are a couple of things that i wont tolerate from a man:

(1) abuse &
(2) cheating

And that's that.


I watched The Prestige yesterday. Interesting. And i guessed the ending, but i wont praise the movie because it wasnt really fabulous. I'm getting a tad bored watching movies with more than a twist or two. It was just a good way to get out of the heat, although the cinemas we went to watch it in, their airconditioning was only intermittently working.

I also went to the Glebe Festival and i ate soo much...it was wonderful!!! I havent had a Gozleme in a very long while, so it was nice to get a spinach/fetta/mince one to chow down on. *YUM* Then i taste tested some olives and then we found an italian version of the Gozleme which was made with wholemeal spelt flat bread instead of white dough. We got one and shared that too. It was nice, but just not quite as good as the Gozleme. A healthy alternative, yes, but it didnt taste as great even though it was filled with proscuitto, rocket and boccocinni.

I proceeded to the cookie stand "Dragonfly Foods" and tried all their cookie flavours...i absolutely adored their chai and cinnamon heart cookie so i bought one and a chocolate one too. Its texture is not exactly firm and not exactly soft...i just really liked the fact that it was somewhere in the middle and to me it seems well balanced.

Prior to all this indulgence, my alterna-date and i went to the Travel Expo at the Convention Centre. It was held by Flight Centre and there were supposed to be good deals on the day. But i didnt find any for my tour. The discounts that they were offering were nothing special. My alterna-date didnt find anything special either, the deals they were offering him were the same price if he was purchasing the tickets online. So, we just roamed around grabbing freebie enviro bags. *LoL*

My travel agent already told me when i saw her on Saturday to go and get some quotes and bring her the cheapest i find and then she will reduce it by 7%. So, i went into Flight Centre today and asked the girl for a quote, showing her the cheap deal that i saw online advertising the Earlybird specials for land and air. They do price matching and try to offer the lowest prices...so i'll see what she emails me tomorrow morning as the final quote.

Its funny, she mentioned about the Travel Expo yesterday where they were offering 10% off travel insurance, and then proceeded to tell me that starting today they were offering 20% off the travel insurance...
O_o

I was feeling relieved that i didnt commit to any of the deals that were on offer yesterday, because it seems that if i just shop around at each travel agency that takes my fancy, i can score an even better deal compared to the expo. Its just a matter of shopping around. The expo was the lazy persons way out of having to shop around for the good deal.


My Europe trip is becoming a reality. I know which tour i will be attending, and which date it will actually commence on. I have also been looking at apartments in Paris, for the 4 additional days i will be spending there when i meet up with my alterna-date.

The place we are most keen on is situated in the 1st Arrdt. Its neighbourhood is described as: "In the prestigious district of Pyramides/Palais Royal with 2 steps of the Louvre and Opéra, between Place Vendôme and Grands Boulevards."

I'm soo excited!

We both figured that we would rather pay a bit more so we could be situated in a nice neighbourhood located within walking distances to the various places we want to visit, than live outside of the city and take public transport.

My mother thinks that i will fall in love and bring back a french man...i told her that i was going to be there with my alterna-date and therefore the opportunity wouldnt be there to actually meet someone. And i will only be in France for 6 days.

I think she has a fixation of having a eurasian grandchild.

My Real Age...

The run didnt happen last night.

And I was sooo psyched for it. I was buzzing in the morning. Loaded up with carbs for brekkie...by lunch i was raring to go.

But then i got an email from my friend who works at JP Morgan who is running the race too, and the email wasnt good news. They were proposing that the race be postponed, but they would update us at 3:30pm.

3:32pm and i checked the website.

The race has been postponed until Thursday 16 November, 2006. Due to the gusty wind and possibility of hail. It was decided with the Bureau and Centennial Park agreeing that it was not good condition for a run.

BUT look out the window today, and it is currently pouring down with rain.

I am no longer psyched. I am quite annoyed really. Very sleepy too.

If the rain stops, i might consider running...but i dont know...im also starting to get an itchy throat...the start of a cold/flu!
=P


On a higher note...

I watched ACA last night because it was after the news and there was something about "2 fat fellas" and how they decided to lose their beer guts after taking the test on realage.com.

So, i thought i would go on today and test it out.

The results have come in and im actually 17.1 today! 8.5 years younger than my birth age.

How cool is that?

I thought i would probably be about 24, maybe 23...you know, with all the exercise i do...I sooo did not expect to be 17.1 y/o.

Its pretty cool to be informed that you will be "really" 21y/o in three years time.

I wonder if this is why i feel as though i am not quite an adult yet? Because my "real" age isnt quite the same as my "birth" age?

hmm...

If you are bored, or if you ever wondered what your "real" age was...go to the website: www.realage.com and have a go. Its a free test and it may not be 100% accurate, but it gives you an indication at least.


So...lets see if the race will still be on this arvo and whether or not i will get psyched to run the race properly...

Winning a prize...

I rarely win anything...the last time i won something other than the Melbourne Cup was back in primary school where i entered a guessing competition, where you had to guess how many smarties were in a jar.

Which was really a fluke.

I have never won anything of significance since then...cos what i put into that guessing comp was only 20c and what i got out of it was like 300-400% profit.

Melbourne Cup...i usually break even.

My biggest win so far in my life has got to be the Kylie tickets.

I entered in a competition. I didnt expect anything to happen - as it usually doesnt. But then i got an email and was advised that i had won Kylie tickets.

I was really surprised. I was shocked. I dont win things!

The tickets are for Sunday 26th November, and i was going to take my mother as she was complaining that i have never taken her to anything like that...so i thought since she knew who Kylie was, she might enjoy it, in terms of concerts.

Ironic enough, we both cant go. She has to go to this wedding and i have to take her. Bloody.

So, i've asked around to see if my brother and sis-in-law want to go...and although my sis-in-law does, she has to wake up early on Monday, so she has said no. I've asked around and the people who do want to go said they would have gone with me. But since im not going, then what is the point in it? Some were just iffy about it as they werent big fans.

And then by sheer chance i mentioned it to my workmate, and she said yes before i could even ask if she wanted the tickets! And she offered to pay me for them!

So, i may not be going to Kylie, but i do have some cash for my tickets.

And since im paying for my Europe tour and airfares by the end of this month, i really do need the money! The tour price has been increased compared to this year by a few hundred dollars, which is why i am keen to pay for it during the early bird price slash. (Pay earlier, big discount).

My leave has been approved without a hassle. I just told my manager i wanted September 07 off. He jokingly asked me if i could bring a laptop and i said i would if i had internet access everywhere i went - so I can load up all my pictures while im over there! *LoL*

I will be meeting up with a friend in Paris and were going to stay in an apartment for a week. Looking online for an apartment has gotten me really excited. I dont particularly care about where, so long as it wont be a long trip to the airport when i leave, since my friend and i are parting in different directions. And there is a half-decent bathroom.

I feel nervous and yet really excited.

I hope my nerves calm down when i actually leave, like in 9 months from now.

Sheesh, sounds like im about to have a baby!
*LoL*

The run...

From the way i am getting excited about the JP Morgan Corporate Challenge, you would assume that i am about to run a marathon...

From the way my friend talks about how he is going to pass out at the end of the race, you would assume that it is in fact longer than 5.6km.

But it is only 5.6km on flat ground.

I emailed him today and posed the question: "Who would have thought that you and i would be running a race?"

And honestly, no one would have guessed in their wildest dreams that he and i would be running tomorrow afternoon.

I have workmates who will be walking the race, but i have decided to run the whole length, if my lungs can handle it.

I havent managed to run from my office to Mrs Mac's Chair and back without stopping to walk 100m or 2...so im not sure if i can run the whole length of the race. But im getting really excited regardless!

My office to Mrs Mac's is roughly the same distance of the race, but where i run there are hilly parts - while the race will be flat. So, it should be easier, im hoping.

I really want to finish the race in under 40 minutes...thats the goal.

But regardless, i think it should all be done by 60 minutes...even the walkers.

Then its food and drinks in the marquee!
;)

this book...

K gave me this book to borrow because she said it had a really really wonderful amazing romantic ending. (Basically, its something she wants me to read so that she can gush to someone and someone will understand her when she gushes.)

She thinks its sooo good, in fact, that she made her fiance read the ending. And her sister!

I got the book on Monday and finished it last night.

Maybe she hyped it too much, but i suspect its just the cynic in me that has me disliking the ending.

To me, the whole book seems unrealistic, and it swings from extremes. Its set in Sydney. Maybe i just dont know the scene in which the characters in the book hover in. But the romantic aspect, i saw it coming a mile away, for that particular one.

It seems odd that someone can fall in love with another when they only meet based on chance (well you find out later that its been orchestrated to appear that way), and the pair only have half conversations. They never have a full conversation.

How can you fall in love with someone if the longest time you spent with them was in the process of rescuing a friend from being gang-banged by a bunch of wanna-be cowboys at a bush shin-dig???

The ending, is basically this...

Since the main character is from London, she came to Sydney to get away from her fiance who cheated on her with a pro...after a year working in Sydney and because she didnt think it would work with the one she supposedly "love", her visa ends and so she packs to go home.

At the airport she cries while in line to check-in...
"Fortunately I was so early for my flight there was no one there to see me, except for a kind man who materialised next to me at the counter and handed me a clean white cotton hanky."

And the kind man was...? You guessed it, the man she loves.

*awwwwww*

*pfft*

As if!

He then proceeds to tell her that he is coming to London too.

To be with her.

She asks him why is he coming to London too?

"Because I love you." He tells her.

*bleh*

And thats the ending. Romantic? Mushy? Gushy? Yeah, its all of that...and if i really believed in, i dont know, say love at first sight...then maybe i would be the one thinking that it was the most romantic, gorgeous, lovey thing on earth. But i dont.

Cheater, cheater pumpkin eater...

Its 7:45am and this toddler is walking out of my building, looking all grumpy while holding his dad's hand, heading towards childcare...well i assume, cos dad is wearing a suit, he is probably an E&Y employee, looking all serious and getting ready for work...far too early and far from looking ready for a play-date with his toddler.

This kid looked so cute and grumpy, i couldnt help but smile and chuckle to myself, thinking he mustn't have had enough sleep last night.

*LoL* his demise made my day - Thanks kid!

***

I was backing Pop Rock and Maybe Better yesterday. And since im a chicken who only bets $2 each way on 5 different horses (win & place). I obviously spent more than what i actually won on the return! I didnt want to bet on Delta Blues, because im working on a project called "Delta" and it gives me the sh!ts...and i think that horse won simply to add salt to the wound. Meanwhile the PM on that project backed the horse with the same namesake as his project and profitted very well.

***

After the festivities of the day (we lunched)...2 co-workers and i went to a pub and one of them was asking for advice. It seems this 'person' still has feelings for 'someone' they were with for 6 months, about 2 years ago. The 'person' is thinking about going to China to see the 'someone'. BUT the 'person' isnt sure they should now because of the feelings they have for said 'someone'.

I asked: "Do you still feel for the person? Or is it because you havent been with anyone else since them and you just want a partner?"

The 'person' isnt sure. And then it was revealed that the 'someone' had cheated on said 'person'. I told the 'person' that i wouldnt go there. I would never forgive a cheater. I dont care that it was "only once"...cheating is the ultimate betrayal in my books.

The 'someone' had cheated on the 'person' with someone of another gender.

Now that put a spanner in the works with my not forgiving a cheater...as i have never faced such a situation where it concerned bisexuals.

I then asked: "So the 'someone' cheated on you with a guy or girl? Because if it was an experimental thing...then that really changes things...hmm..."

It was opposite gender to the 'person'.

My advice to the 'person' is that they dont go to China during the festive season to see this 'someone' as they would be staying with the 'someone' and it would just confuse them even more. I mean, would you really be able to differentiate your emotions of wanting the 'someone' or just wanting a someone, while you are with them???

***

Yesterday afternoon got me thinking about how strongly i felt against cheaters.

Its the ultimate betrayal a partner can commit.

I would much rather a bf breaking up with me to explore whatever he felt uncertain about, than just committing the crime and when caught, beg for forgiveness.

The thing is, its more about the broken trust, than the act that is the real problem. And since i firmly believe in monogamy, if a guy wants more than one girl...he should really look for another girl who is happy to share him around town. I'm not interested!

Fortunately, i have never been cheated on, and im sorry for making it sound so one-sided...i know girls cheat on their boyfriends too...but as im talking from my perspective, it sounding like im bagging men but i dont mean to.

I had to re-evaluate whether i would forgive a guy for cheating on me with another guy because he was unsure of his sexuality. Ideally, i would rather him breaking up with me first before he started exploring...but i think i would be more inclined to forgive him on this account than any other "cheating". This would be an exception.

I am not saying that i will definitely forgive him...but i would be more understanding if it was this particular situation. And i think its the only situation that i would be understanding about.

***

I read a headline of an article in the Daily Telegraph on Monday, it read something like: "Muslim girl accused of murdering her mother."

Now, why is it that when something like this happens, and the person accused is of some minority-type religion or group, that it gets branded that way?

I am not Muslim. I do not know the contents of the article. I dont know the person accused. I am in no way condoning murdering one's mother.

What i am bringing up is simply the choice of words in headlines. Yes, i know journalists are trying to keep their jobs and by doing so they must choose words that would get the public interested and buying the papers.

BUT, wouldnt the headline of "Girl accused of murdering her mother" generate the same amount of interest? Without the added "Muslim"???

I mean, if i, for example was in a headline, would they write:

"Asian, non-practicing Buddhist-by-default girl...blah blah blah"...?

I am pretty sure there are other people who have been accused of something horrible and have been in headlines, but if they were say, Christian, you surely wouldnt see that in the headline. So, why would you write that the girl is Muslim?

To incite more anger in the public, especially with all the things going on in the predominantly Muslim part of the world???

To generate more propaganda??? I wouldnt be surprised.

It actually got me upset. I dont think its right to single people out as such. The dramatic effect would have been all the same without singling the girl out as Muslim...well i think.

*hmph*

Settled...

I just got a call @ 2:28pm.

Its an anticlimax, if you ask me...

I mean, im getting married to the bank for 30 years of my life...and all i get is a short phonecall to say that "Its settled. Everything has been done." from the clerk at my solicitor's office.

Where is the "Congratulations!"???

Where is my, i dunno...happy happy joy joy celebratory cheer?

I have been stressed out for a while now because of this.

Finding the right mortgage, engaging the solicitor...trying to get things done before the next interest rate hike was a shocker. My broker was stressing me...i guess he was a bit worried about failing me, as he is my brother's friend...and it seems he is scared of me. I'm not going to be pushed over when it comes to my money! He had to find out the hard way...

Although, i am completely appreciative of his help. And i would have been lost without his guidance...but just dont get me feeling iffy or even give me a whiff of a possibility that i will be ripped off. I wont take it and i will hunt you down until you fix it and guarantee that everything is hunky dory.

So, i didnt get a ring of any sort...no rock on my finger...but i am officially tied to the bank (as of however minutes ago) from when i received that call to say that the banks have exchanged cheques.

I am a home owner. eh.

Something in the air...

He surprised her with a day out to the beach for her birthday.

He packed a picnic too.

All set? Yes.

They got to the beach, he unpacked everything...she just knew she was going to enjoy her birthday this year...how could she not? The weather was just perfect and her boyfriend had packed a picnic...it was just sweet.

After lunch, he brought out his laptop.

He wanted to show her something.

He opened a powerpoint slide and she started to wonder what he was going to show her?

To her surprise (yet another) it was a slide with various photos of the two of them together on various trips, outings, dinners, etc. A romantic song was the soundtrack.

As the presentation neared the end, his palms started to perspire in anticipation.

The last slide was "the question"...

She just stared at him in disbelief and yet believing his intentions whole heartedly.

He brought out a little box and suprised her for the 3rd time that day.

It was gorgeous, solitaire, & BIG.

She said yes and couldnt stop smiling.

Two weeks down the track when i saw her, she was still smiling non-stop...

Love is beautiful, it brings me to tears.

***

I just read on a friend's blog...her bf of yonks had recently popped the question too. The two of them are so cute...

Either there is something in the air or its something in the water...but it seems everyone i know is either getting engaged or married...my parents have been invited to 8 weddings and thats only over Oct/Nov/Dec.

I'm going to one early Dec. K&H just had their engagement party.

I am getting a tad paranoid that im going to turn around one day and everyone is just going to come at me and ask me to their engagement party or wedding!

It feels a bit like the frenzy when all your friends had their 21st Birthday celebrations...now we are older, the next thing is marriage...and we have finally hit the 'appropriate' age to get hitched. So, all the couples who have been together for a while are finally getting married.

hehhehee...how bizarre is it?

I wonder if i should stop breathing...?

Fair Game?

If a guy you know has:

(a) Been your friend for over 5 years,
(b) Actually kept in touch with you throughout those 5+ years, albeit sporadic,
(c) Written a variation of a joke you sent to him and it was written just for you, or
(d) All of the above

My answer is D.

Does that mean he sort of likes me?

My friend with the ex problem has been communicating with me via email for a while now, with a couple of phone calls here and there. Nothing spectacular happens in our conversations, but its neither boring nor am i in a rush to get off the phone with him when he does call.

We use to crush on each other way back when and only found out when we were with our respective girlfriend/boyfriend at the time while in uni.

I didnt think about any possibilities with him...but he is actually quite thoughtful towards me, even when he was with his ex. And now...he is writing jokes for me.

I told a work mate and she told me to actively be a distraction for him, so he doesnt have to think about the ex. But im not sure if i want to be there and hint along the way, because i dont know how i feel and quite frankly...i think i would just complicate things for him even more. He is confused now about the ex situation...another girl in the picture would just make his head spin further.

But she thinks its okay, and that its fair game...he is currently single...and she thinks by the sounds of things, that he is keen. So, therefore i should go and distract him!

O_o

Err...*cough*...

And yet, what do i want? I think as a friend, he is great! I'm not sure about a bf. I'm still not sure if i want a bf right now.

*ugh*

You know, i'm not really sure if he is even interested in me...gee im so up myself...just jumping to conclusions!!!

I should really have kept this to myself...

On a higher note some female work mates have commented about how much they love my black tulip skirt and have told me that i have to strut down the hallway if i am walking in that direction, as they can see me when i go that way.

Streamline.

I can't imagine how some people can live complicated lives filled with lies.

I think i would die from the weight of it all on my shoulders. And we all know how i feel about weight on my shoulders...absolutely hate it...with a vengeance.

And you know, if you ask your bf/ex to give you time to think about things...to you know, straighten things out in your head about the two of you...but then you decide that you want to dump him...and then after a few months, when he is finally moving along...why the hell would you harass the poor guy and ask him to take you back?!?!?!?

I mean, how rude is that? My friend has finally gotten his head sorted out. But then lately his ex has asked him to take her back. Yes, he probably was wishing that this would happen some time when they first broke up...but now he learnt to accept that it wasnt going to happen. Yet, it does, and the guy is all screwed up again.

I told him to push back. And by that i mean, he should tell her to give him time to think about it. He gave it to her when she asked for it initially...if she really wants him back, then she can wait just like he did for her. Its only fair. And if she doesnt, well then we know where her heart really is - and thats not with him.

He wrote back after i offered that little bit of advice, telling me that i was "upfront". "Upfront" sounds very controversial to me, like im looking for a fight. I prefer the simpler, more diplomatic words like honest and frank.

He told me that i was a good friend to tell him like it is. And im thinking, umm...isnt that what any friend would say?

And then im thinking, maybe i gave such advice simply because i want to keep everything simple now.

I dont want things messy. I dont want to confuse anyone. So, although i try not to be blunt, i still try to be as honest as possible without hurting people's feeling. But i have noticed that i still have too many words in my sentences...i should start culling all the words i put in it and try to express things as precisely and succinct as possible.

I think im going to start an overhaul on my life.

Starting with my calendar. While i was bored during Winter...i am so busy now in Spring and the coming Summer. I sort of prefer minimising my weekend to only one night out. That is either a Friday night or a Saturday night or a Sunday night. I cant manage 2 late nights. My body needs a bloody week to catch up and then it gets hit again the following weekend! Sunday for recovery is no longer enough.

I am not comparing my life to anyone else...im just saying that i cant deal with mine so im making the changes i need to make. Mean while, i dont know how L&E manage their lives. They have late nights during the week as well as the weekend and they are book solid until next year.

Next i need to get my money back in order. Once the house is settled, i can then pay off the bills i need to and then work out my new budget. Its currently a nightmare. And since its my money, i dont like the fact that things are not in order.

Then i will work on my sentences and how i express things. I am going to try and explain things in as little sentences i can. Once i get that down pat, i will start reducing the amount of words used in the sentence. And the trick is to not lose the meaning while doing so.

I guess that means my blog posts will be significantly shorter...

I will also try to prevent any repetition in the body of what i am writing. I tend to do that...paraphrase or reiterating something already mentioned.
=T

Hmm...i think i need to cut out the amount of sugar im having...my blood sugar level is peaking sporadically and i am currently feeling tired at 8:50am, while i was alert only 30 minutes ago. Another thing to streamline i guess...my bloody diet, yet again. Although, my tiredness today could simply be the fact that i went to bed at 10pm and then woke at 3am but couldnt get back to sleep until 4:30am and had to wake up at 5:30am...that explains today...but not the past 3 days where i have been schlepping my carcass around work.

I also need to file all my documents that are just sitting on my desk at work. They are stacked neatly, but in no particular order and its becoming a bad habit to just ditch my paperwork mixing different projects together like that!

Whats become of me???

Youth recaptured...?

*** A Very long post - read it at your own risk! ***

Going out on a Friday and Saturday night has been taking a toll on me...so imagine "my" last week where I celebrated my brother's birthday 3 times...dinner on Wednesday and Thursday night...clubbing on Saturday night. Went to watch "My best enemy" (Italian Film Fest) on Friday night. K&H's engagement party before clubbing on Saturday.

I have also been feeling as though i have been chasing down a million and one things just to complete one milestone. I do that for a day job, i shouldnt have to feel that way on the weekend!

Let me start my story by skipping the dinners...we started late, I ate, it disrupted my training for the JP Morgan run.

Allow me to begin from Friday. The day was restless, I had booked "Let's Do Lunch" for L and I at the Summit for 12:00 noon. Then i was having company drinks at EQ from 3:30pm. So, my arvo was pretty much a ride off.

I met up with my "Alterna-date" to catch "My best enemy" at 5:30pm. Everything was actually going well. The movie was hilarious as well as heartfelt and dramatic in all the right places. I highly recommend this movie to anyone who is interested in catching a flick during the Italian Film Fest, which is now on at Palace Theatres at either Oxford Street or Leichhardt.

After leaving the cinemas, the plan was to drive to Balmain for some pizza (keeping in tune with the whole Italian thing)...but as we walked along Oxford Street back to the CBD I tripped and ripped my thong/sandals rendering it unwearable. My favourite pewter coloured ones that goes with almost every outfit...that happens to jazz up anything casual and makes it slightly dressier...the pair that i bought on my SG/KL Christmas holiday last year.

I was devastated.

It was going to be my signature item this summer, because it has been copied left right and centre and is now sold across all shoe stores in Sydney, just not in pewter. It is the summer "IT" thongs...and i had purchased it a year ago and will not be able to find it here although there is a plethora of variations to choose from.

Fortunately for me, there was a bargain store still opened and i begged the guy who was going to close shop to allow me to buy another pair of thongs so i could at least walk to the car!

I ended up with a pair of fluro orange rubber thongs. Enough said.

My alterna-date, albeit was trying to make me feel better, instead had made me feel snipey and really really sour. He basically told me that my shoes were going to break anyway...any minute now...so i shouldnt be upset and be grateful that i could buy another pair of thongs when i did! I was flabbergasted! My shoes were not on the verge of falling apart. It was in good condition. The treads on the soles were still visible. And although i had wore it a bit during last summer, with the amount of shoes i have, common sense will have you know that i didnt wear it every day!!!

They werent even scratched!!! (Which i tend to do with every leather or faux leather thong/sandals/shoes I own)...

I am pmsing too, so added with his accusatory statement, i just didnt feel like dinner anymore. All i can say is that i was lucky to have had a packet of Twisties while watching the flick. While the alterna-date only had a choc top. Which serves him right!!!

The week had started to take its toll on me.

Thursday morning, I got told off twice (by the "Devil wears Prada" like manager) before it was even 9:30am and it wasnt even my fault. Wednesday and Tuesday things were pretty sh!t too...so throughout the week, i had accumulated a lot of angst.

The incident with my favourite thong/sandals was just pushing me over the edge.

Saturday was just crazy. I had to wake up early, drive my mother to her boss' place and deliver some dresses she had completed. Then we went grocery shopping as we always do, had yum cha while waiting for 9am to tick over. Went to the bank so we could cancel the home insurance and got told that i had to write a letter for them so that they could fax it to the insurer and cancel it for us. Dropped into an asian bargain store so that i could buy some of those disposable plastic shot glasses as i was making some champagne jelly shots and vodka jelly shots for K&H's engagement party that arvo.

After that, i took my mother to the local markets and bought 2 pots of carnations, 1 for K&H and 1 for mum. Left it with the stall owner, as we were going to roam around the markets a bit more. I bought a replacement pair of shoes for my gold open toed ballet flats. The ones i currently own have been really really...well, worn!

I then went to a stall that sold all these gorgeous dresses, they even had one of the dresses i bought in Melbourne where i paid $40 for, while here it was only $20. I was shocked that i could have saved some money had i only waited less than a month to buy some here in Sydney. So, what is a girl to do? I needed the retail therapy anyway!!! So, i bought 3 dresses, after deciding from 7. Fortunately they had my sizes too. They are all white. White with blue trimming. White with black trimming. White with floral prints! *LoL*

I decided that i would wear the white with blue trimmings to my brother's party...so, instead of going to the gym after all that shopping, I spent all of my afternoon trying to track down these white open toed Urban Soul heels i had bought a couple of years ago. As the dress was a touch retro, the shoes would have been perfect for the outfit.

But this was all after i rushed from the markets to the local Wooleys so i could get some sparkling wine and drinks for my fruit punch (also for K&H's party).

Cutting it really close as i had planned to get to K&H's by 3:00pm, I had finally located my shoes by 1:00pm. But i still had to pack everything and shower and get dressed. I also had to wash my hair...and its still long...i havent cut it like i had planned to. In between getting my dress ready, packing some make up, packing my shoes, remembering the caster sugar for the jelly, grabbing half the strawberries from punnet and putting it into a container so that it doesnt get smooshed...I managed to wash my hair and shower and get ready without forgetting a single thing before a friend arrived to pick me up! I even remembered to bring the pot plant for K&H.

See, I had to pack everything because D was driving me there, and my brother was going to pick my up and drive me to my lil brother's party at Roof Bar. K&H's party was a BBQ that was suppose to be a cocktail inspired thing...so i thought my dress would suffice if wore with sandals as i would be barefooted in the house most of the time anyway, and then for clubbing i trade the sandals for heels.

The BBQ was a blur. I remember making all the 50 jelly shots and then blending the drinks for the punch. While T had helped me chop the fruits to put in the punch. Then people started arriving and i think i had one too many cups of my own punch which was laced with passionfruit flavoured vodka along with the sparkling. I really need to stop drinking vodka!!!

Then a high school friend I havent seen in a long time arrived. We caught up over water! *LoL* I think he was preparing himself for a long night of drinking, but thanks to him i sobered up before my brother's arrived. The water also helped me for the long night ahead...

So, my friend and i caught up...he is currently finishing his PhD. And he was telling me about how much he isolates himself when he has a girlfriend and we also chatted about what makes a really good executive...i'll write another post about this later, as its pretty insightful in itself.

Basically, as we chatted it was nearing 9:00pm and i had told my brother to pick me up by then.

9:00pm comes around and just like Cinderella, i quickly say good bye to everyone and make a dash out of the house to the horse and carriage that awaits me at the end of the driveway.

We got to the CBD in record time. Problem was trying to find parking before 10:00pm on a Saturday night near the club, was not going to be a small feat.

After driving around and around for about 15-20 minutes, we located a spot on College Street. While walking to Roof Bar i told my brother that he will have to go back and get the car later and pick me up from the bar, cos being the princess i am, i wasnt going to walk back with him...and my sister in law agreed with me!

A little bit about my little brother's 19th birthday bash and why 1 x 25y/o and 2 x 30y/o were attending...

My older brother and i never get invited to any of my little brother's birthday soirees. Never. So, as this was the first time he has ever invited us, we thought we should go in support, or as chapperones, however he wanted to see it as. But i personally took it as a compliment, because i am finally "cool" enough to be part of his world. I also wanted to check out his new gf...and his ex was going to be there too! If not for support, i was going there for the potential b!tch fight and gossip.

Yes, i know, im the best sister in the world!
;p

His ex was there with all his friends when we arrived and they started to line up. And here i am, noticing that nothing has changed! The clubs still make people line up forever just to generate a crowd before they start letting people in, even though it is empty-as inside...

His new gf was running late. Hmm...im not impressed.

While we lined up we were joking about how these "kiddies" should respect their elders (us) and let us in first! My older brother and i were joking about whether we would be asked for our ID's. And to both our suprise, the bouncer asked for it. From all 3 of us. I hadnt bothered to get my license out...and in my shock i fumbled and tried to explain to the bouncer that i was too old for this!!!

He told me to take it as a compliment. And then he looked at my date of birth and told me that i wasnt old! *LoL*...was he flirting with me?!
O_o

I gotta say one of the uplifting things about being surrounded by so many young asians is that i felt mature and taller than almost 80% of the people there (boy or girl).

I also noticed the destructive behaviour of almost all that were there.

They drink like there is no tomorrow...not to enjoy the taste. But simply to put themselves out of misery from something they have been trying to get away from. The girls especially were out of control.

Although I talk about how crap drunk i feel, i was no where near as tipsy as those girls. Because (1) i actually eat food versus just gulping air and (2) i drink heaps of water, while they probably drink more fizzy drinks that the plain old H2O and (3) they dont know when to stop.

My older brother must have started to worry about his own girls...what will happen in future...because what he was seeing from these teens, he was soo not liking it!

But then we had some of my little brother's complimentary champagne, cos it was his birthday...and then we loaded up on alcohol!

Its funny, i have never seen any of my brother's dance, except at family weddings to dodgy asian band cover songs...so it was a shock to the system to see both of them dancing to hiphop. *LoL* Especially my older brother who doesnt do the "dancing" thing!

And then what was even weirder was watching my little brother and his gf kiss! Like oh my gosh...i needed to rinse my eyes out with dettol! I told my older brother while we were on the dance floor that they were kissing and i told him not to look unless he wanted to go blind...but does he listen? NO! He was staring at them like he was staring at the sun. He knew he had to look away, but couldnt help it!

*RoFL*

His ex gf was so tanked to a point where she was really talkative and was suffering headspins, and since i have gotten to know her better and she is my supplier of Veronica Mars episode, i have a soft spot for her. So, i kept her company when her friends were missing, and since the new gf has left a really bad impression with me, i was keen on showing the new gf where i stood.

To say the least, the new gf is the type of girl who opens her mouth and is extremely loud because she thinks really highly of herself. I personally believe that my lil brother is going out with her because he knows he is good looking and she is the girl that all his friends think is hot and she wanted to go out with him. So, why not...well why not is that this new gf made it clear her intentions while he was dating his ex. To me, thats low when you know someone is taken.

While i observed her i noticed how she is the centre of everyone's attention and she doesnt ever try to look around to see if my brother is with another chick or what. Not that my brother is that, like that, low! And its not because she trusts him...its because she is too busy talking to whomever to actually care. I dont think she cares about anyone but herself.

When i told my lil brother that the MC who i asked to say "Happy Birthday" to him had tried to chat me up, his new gf made this long and elaborate comment that transformed her from this asian girl to an asian girl with the fake version of the attitude of an African American woman! See, African American women can carry it off with their special kind of flair...small asian girls just can't cut it...and i make no apologies for saying so.

I felt like she was just fake. Her hair was dyed and straightened...completely fake. Her attitude and when she speaks to you, completely fake - nothing sincere at all.

But enough b!tching about my brother's current squeeze.

While i was organising my Saturday night, most people wondered if i was trying to recapture my youth...hanging out with my little brother and his friends.

I dont think i was...i knew what to expect. I have literally been there and done that...and quite frankly, i knew that i wouldnt enjoy it without some alcohol. I went prepared!
=P

My little brother's ex asked me if it made me feel younger while i was dancing with her, and no, it did not make me feel younger. It was cool that i got heaps of compliments for the dress i was wearing, and a lot of guys must have assumed that i was younger than i really am, cos they were checking me out. One of my brother's friend, without knowing that i was his sister started dedicating some of his dance moves to me...either he thought i was the token chick or he was extremely tanked...i think its the latter! *LoL*

What Saturday night...both the engagement party and the interlude at the club had confirmed for me was the fact that i am older. Give me a house party with a group of wonderful friends any day. I dont want to go to bars or night clubs...even though its non-smoking these days. I really would prefer to play cranium with a glass of wine and acting all silly in the comfort of someone's home.

I dont need heady nights out flirting incessantly with some stranger(s). I would much rather sit around and laugh about some of the stupid things we use to do when we tried to flirt with strangers.

I wasnt trying to recapture anything.
I was honestly there for my brother (+ the gossip factor).

I knew all along - I have matured.

My friend P, had noted while at K&H's party that he thought it was weird. He always believed that i was the life of a party...that i enjoyed being at the centre of it all...but he observed and noticed that i would go to the rooms where there were less people and would walk away from the crowds.

I have noticed that too.

When i was in my early 20's i would agree, that i was in the midst of it all...but now i prefer being outside of the square.

I prefer quiet, calm spaces...unless its the kitchen...then it should be noisy...and i believe that food brings people together. But at house parties...I prefer speaking to one or two people and really giving them my full attention.

I guess i'm preferring the "grown up" choices.

Saturday night was a turning point for me...especially because i was still awake for the change of Daylight saving. I was just dropped off home by my older brother. It was 2:30am and at that instant i had lost an hour.

For as long as i can remember, i have always slept through the change. And since i was awake this year, for the first time ever...its left me a bit dazed...maybe it was the emancipation...or it could have been the alcohol.

I really should stop drinking.

Nobody is born knowing...

I watched an episode of a new series on ABC last night called Family Footsteps.

"Family Footsteps is a four-part Australian documentary series, creating a "sliding door" experience for four young people by returning them to their migrant parents' homeland. Faced with challenges and surprises along the way, these intrepid explorers live as locals, experiencing how their lives could be today if fate had taken a different course.

The first in the series is Patty Veliz a 31-year-old Quechuan from Peru. Her family migrated to Australia when she was six-years-old. Today, Patty like her mother is a passionate and committed Seventh Day Adventist. The church is a key aspect in her social and spiritual life. Patty's father is a Shaman as was his mother before him..."

Thats the beginning of the blurb that you can continue to read from the link above.

I started watching it at about 8:45pm. I was intrigued by the fact that she was obviously someone indigenous from South America (I didnt know where at the time until she said so herself that she was "Indigenous Peruvian"), but she spoke fluent English with an Australia Accent. As i didnt read up about this show before hand, i didnt know what i was watching. But since i was intrigued i continued to watch it until the end.

The title of today's blog comes from the episode. It was something one of the older women (she got to know) in Peru had told her. I think its very insightful, which is also the way i felt while watching it.

But the funny thing is...while this show was about Patty and her wanting to discover more about the witchcraft her father practices - where it all began, the power of healing, what it all means to her, etc...i wasnt particularly floored by all the weird superstitious type of subject.

What i was floored by at the end of the show was actually something that i really didnt think i would be affected by so much!

I like to think that i am open minded. When it comes to other people's beliefs and their way of life, it doesnt often bother me...so long as they dont try to impose it on my beliefs and way of life.

Oddly enough, i was actually stunned when i saw Patty kiss her partner upon her return to Sydney.

Her partner was another female.

I dont think i have a problem with gays or lesbians. I have always wanted a gay friend, because i think they would provide the manly protection as much as the feminine emotional support i want and need - all in the one person without the sexual tension. I'm not sure about a lesbian friend, but i know wouldnt use that as an excuse not to be a person's friend.

I was disgusted by my reaction. Because i truly believe that i am, like i said, open minded. I was shocked and appalled that i reacted the way i did. They kissed and they were happy to see each other...am i just a prude?

I told a male co-worker and he just laughed at me and then called me a "prude"!

But then he noted that I was just reacting as most men do when they see gay men kiss. They dont really have problems with men being gay, well most men dont really have that problem because they try to be open minded too - but it still makes them feel funny! So, in actual fact, my reaction was quite "normal".

He also added that straight men would actually enjoy watching lesbians kiss.

Although, i get the feeling that most women would be like me and would not be turned on when seeing two gay men kiss.

If you are a girl, how would you feel when you see 2 girls kiss?

I am so envious...

You know that feeling you get when someone dangles right in front of your face, that something you have been dreaming about attaining for such a long time? And yet its there's, not yours...

Well lately its like everywhere i go, even while im having a meeting with a manager i get that tugging feeling. A reminder of what i don't have. What i wished i could have, but just havent seen it come to fruition...and probably never will...

Sometimes its pretty material and girly...

Like that ultra cute top...that really gorgeous handbag...that hair...that ability to apply make up on oh-so-well!...those shoes...

Other times i just wished i had the moments others have...

One of my project managers was rushing out yesterday and was running 5 minutes late to meet his wife to have lunch in the park...a mini picnic...the other apparently use to do that too, but his wife works outside the city now...i'm guessing that their wives are pretty happy with their husbands.

I'm jealous of girls who have wonderful boyfriends...who turn into fiancées...who do these fantastic proposals (you have all heard the stories)...who just absolutely adore them...

I dont deny it. Because its the truth. I am jealous.

I know...I really do...I have "the grass is greener" complex running around my thoughts.

The trainer who taught my group for my Project Management course told us a short story about the grass being greener on the other side. That its just the perception that you look at things.

The story goes...A man was working hard looking after his lawn. One day he was standing on his lawn and he looked across the road at his neighbours lawn and thought "why do i have dry brown patches and my neighbour has luscious green grass"? Some day later he walked across the road to have a quick chat with his neighbour and noticed that the neighbour had dry brown patches too.

Moral of the story is that from where you stand, the grass will always look greener on the other side.

The resounding truth is ringing loud and clear. Unfortunately, it doesnt stop me from suffering the Green Eyed Monster-itis.

Sydney Meat Market...

I caught up with a high school friend at a bar on Friday night.

I firstly met up with L and G at the same said bar. They later headed off to another bar for another friend's birthday. Our uni dinner thing got cancelled, so i hung around with the friend i was catching up with.

I met his workmates and we got to chatting. I was talking to a guy and a girl out of the group. The guy had just come back from Paris...so we talked a lot about the place and throughout the conversation, "dating" and "picking up" was intertwined.

The exclaimation of the night was basically: "Its really hard, the dating scene in Sydney!" Which came from my own friend.

And i concur. And everyone else solemnly nodded with agreement.

And then the girl i spoke to (the most that night) was saying that i was getting checked out every 5 seconds...and i was like "No...wayyyyy! I dont get checked out or picked up at bars, i dont even know how it happens!" But then she proceeded to point out every Tom/Dick/Harry who looked at me.

When i am at a bar, i dont usually drink...not until i started working at my current company. And only recently, have i been drinking more than 2 drinks. I'm usually just sitting around and talking to friends.

That Friday night, i was so tanked, i had to get something greasy to soak up the alcohol after leaving the bar!!! I actually had Hungry Jacks and a whole lot of fries. I dont like Vodka...and that was all i had that night.

Friends kept buying me drinks, even though i insisted that after the second drink i was really gone! The second drink i had was too much vodka and mixed with very little anything else.

But through this debauchery on Friday night I found the answers to my own questions.

There was like 5 guys to 1 girl. How does a girl get chatted up in such a scenario? Like i said, its never happened to me...not out of the 7 years i have been to clubs or bars or anywhere really!

(1) Don't just stay with your circle of friends. Which i always do, because thats what i am there for, to catch up and socialise with them! But the moment you arent sitting around with your own friends...the moment you branch out a little, you present the guys who are interested, an opportunity.

(2) Have a drink in your hand, even if you arent drinking it. I was transporting a drink that was given to me from another friend who was on the other side of the bar. Walking from Friend B back to Friend A, saying excuse me with a full tumbler of vodka in hand, guys parted way through the sea of people so i could get through. A lot of them checked me out and a lot of them stopped me to chat.

(3) Similar to above, point (2) - just without the alcohol in hand. Walking from a group of friends to another group of friends with a lot of space between them by yourself, is another opportunity opener. Guys will stop you and tell you silly things like they think you look Filo or Eurasian...which apparently means that you are hot to look at!

And here is the cincher...so that is how you can potentially get guys to approach you and chat you up, but the problem is that its all superficial! They dont really want to talk to me - like TALK to me. They are just sizing me up, doing a quick tick off on their checklist. But the only reason why im talking to them is because im bored. And i only want to TALK. I'm not trying to give them my number. I refused and laughed it off with the ones who asked me that night.

There was nothing substantial that kept me interested in holding an active conversation. I tried to ask questions that would help them open up...but it always went back to flirting, which bored me.

I think you can really tell when something is going to work and when it just doesnt have a hope. Picking up at bars, for me, i believe has a success rate of like 0.000000001%! And thats being generous. I would be luckier and simply more inclined to meeting someone through a friend who actually wants to get to know me, other than meeting someone at a bar. Not discounting the success stories that are out there...it has worked for others...i just doubt its worth my time to invest in such scenarios. Its just not for me.

PS: Please stop pitying those who are single! We are either single by choice or we just havent found that special someone yet.

For those who just havent found that special someone, we know it...were living it...we dont want you to ask us if we have found someone yet, and then give us "that" look. The look that says "you're running out of time"...like i said, we know it! Were living it everyday...we get enough of that look from our eager mothers, we dont need "the look" from our own friends!

Fortunately for me, i dont have that many friends who give me "the look"...this comment is on behalf of the friend i caught up with on Friday night. He is actively looking, he just hasnt found the right "her" yet.

The wicked humour that is Life...

She has gorgeous raven coloured hair that is shiny and healthy. Beautiful dark deep seated eyes, eyebrows immaculate and manicured, lips full and defined, nose narrow with just the right amount of bridge...the fairest of milky skin i have seen.

She also has a nice figure...much like the figure 8.

She has nice legs too, just the right size and shape, nice and slender and long.

But her legs are severely bowed legs. Severe to the point where she is unable to walk properly but is able to walk nonetheless. As she walked down the stairs inside the train's carriage, i was afraid that she would stumble and fall.

I couldnt stop looking at her, because she was absolutely beautiful, not because of her bowed legs. And while she spoke with her sister/cousin/friend, she sounded very intelligent and coherent. So, my assumption is that she is physically disabled, but everything else is working like clockwork. She is very much in tuned with everything.

It made me think about the irony of it all.

That here was such a gorgeous girl, but she would never know how it feels to run like the wind, because she physically can not. She will never be able to wear heels and strut with her head held high, because she is physically unable to. She is probably too self conscious to wear a skirt, because she might not like the way her legs look and for the fear that people would notice her bowed legs - just that bit more!

It also made me reflect on how i take for granted my ability to quickly rush to my train, down the stairs, so i dont miss it and have to wait 15 minutes or longer for the next one. While if she was ever running a couple minutes late and had to rush down some stairs, she probably wouldnt even bother. No point. She might do more harm to herself, then actually make the train.

Nature and Life, or is it Fate or Destiny? Its ironic how we are the way we are...

Is there really anyone out there who has it all?

Some girls look at Supermodels and think that they have it all. That they are beautiful and have money and all these men falling over themselves just to be with them. But what is it really like? You hear stories that they do drugs, most have plastic surgery because their agents think they should lose some of the fat around different parts of their body. People in the know, like the make up artists, would tell you that most Supermodels dont even like the way they look. That most are self critical and lead a tortured life.

People who are famous have lots of money, but the price they pay to be so famous...i dont think i would ever want to trade my privacy for such a lifestyle. I dont want the paparazzi in my face whenever i turn a corner. I dont want to be written about in the papers or magazine. And i dont want pictures of me looking like a slob circulating over the internet.

There is always a trade off. I think its what keeps the world balanced.

Unfortunately for the girl on the train today, her trade off seems pretty extreme. I hope that everything else in her life is peachy. You know, she really could have been a model, but i wont say its a shame that she has bowed legs. In my opinion, its better to have bowed legs than to be crumbling with extreme insecurity about the way you look, since its your day job!

This girl will go far - you can see the spirit she has in her eyes.
=)

Ageless Ambiguity...

When i was 12 and was over in Asia for a holiday, people thought i was 15 and they assumed that i was my mother's youngest sister. Back home people assumed i was 15 but they just accepted that i was my mother's daughter.

When i was 15 and was over in Asia for a holiday, people thought i was between 18-21 and they once again assumed that i was my mother's sister. Back home people assumed that i was somewhere between 18-21 and they thought i was my mother's sister.

When i was 18 and was over in Asia for a holiday, people thought i was about 21 and thought i was my mother's sister. Back home they thought i was around 21 and that i was my mother's sister.

When i hit 20, things all of a sudden had changed. People guessed the correct age, and they accepted that i was my mother's daughter, no matter where i was.

It would have been the combination that my mother caught up with her true age, while my age caught up with my looks.

My mtoher gets thrilled when people think she is younger than she is. And they often do. Fortunately, Asians age well.

Its been a while since i went into a bar or club and some bouncer had asked for my ID. But on Friday night while i was out with E and L, the bouncer did just that!

The thrill of the thought that someone thinks i am younger than i am. The last time someone asked me for my ID was when i was like 20.

To top things off, I dragged mum out with me to the shops on Sunday. I wanted her honest opinion about the cherry print babydoll dress i had been eyeing off since last Sunday. I wanted to know if it made my ass look fat! *LoL* And mum is so honest about how clothes look on me, her comments are brutal - which i need before i commit to purchasing something on a whim, simply because i like it!

While i was trying on the dress mum was chatting to the sales assistant that was serving us. She told the sales assistant my age, and the sales assistant had a spin out. I popped out to show them the dress, and it did look cute (if i do say so myself)!

The sales assistant then grilled me about my age, but only after trying to sell me the pvc faux leather inspired white belt.

She was like "No way...i would never have guessed you were 25!" and i was shaking my head "yes"...because i am 25...she shook her head "no", repeating "You're lying, you cant be 25!!! You look like your 21!!!" I then proceeded to tell her my mother's age...and that really spun her out. I looked her in the eye and told her that my mother is 52. She almost had a heart attack!

She pulled another sales assistant and asked her to guess my age and my mother's age. The girl guessed that i was 21 and that my mother was like 40. The girl serving me told her that i was 25 and that my mother was 52...the second girl was repeating "No way!!! You guys are lying!!!"

My mother and i just looked at each other and laughed.

I'm guessing my youthful (these days) look has been attributed to the 4L of water i drink a day or its because i have been prescribed with a variety of different coloured drugs for my coughing or its the Roaccutane for my acne. Either way, im loving the fact that people are starting to think that i am younger than i really am.

The realisation that i was "old" when i hit 25, had really compounded on my shoulders...the fact that the amount of responsiblities have piled up on my plate has really made me feel "old" too. So, with compliments where people assume that i am 4 years younger than i really am - its a hoot!

*^_^*

***

Ice cream making course at Serendipity was not what i expected. Nonetheless, i really really really enjoyed the Wattleseed and Grand Marnier (50% alcohol, not reduced) with orange zest ice cream i took home.

***

The Sugar Hit at InterContinental was a disappointment and im not a real foodie but i have been to the InterContinental for the last 3 years for the Sugar Hit, and it was never this bad.

The Cherry cheesecake tasted as though it was sitting outside on a table for a while and had that dry top layer. The Pistacchio & praline pyramid reminded me of bad cream on those birthday cakes from Asian cake stores that i just dont like! But the red currant Drambuie salad that came with it was tasty! The only dessert that turned out okay was the Chestnut & sago cone with malibu coulis.

Read this...

Bored at work like i am?

Then read Sam's Blog...in particular his experiment in being a woman for the long weekend.

I couldnt stop giggling at his ordeal in transforming...and at the same time i appreciate that he actually went through a brazilian to experience it all.

I also appreciate that he actually walked along George Street dressed as a woman and even had dinner in Leichhardt.

Its funny how the change in clothes, the waxed legs, the looks from other people had turned him into a demure, softer person, less confrontational, a person who avoided conflict where possible.



It seems that all the project managers around the office want a piece of my time. I told the program director that i should start a bidding war so i could get paid more!
=P

Should i be happy that the GM of our Dept is recommending me to the PMs? Smiling and saying hello to the right people works! Although, i feel like im being pimped out by the GM...
*RofL*



Aimee is soo cute. Her sister went overseas with her grandmother (sis in law's mum) and since Chloe's departure she has been over at our place a bit more...and i really love her presence. Although, im having difficulty understanding her when she speaks...she still has a bit of the baby-twang when she speaks. So, half the time i turn to my mother and ask "what did she say?"

*LoL*



Ice cream making course this Saturday...pity it will be 31 degrees out...i wonder if i get to take home the ice cream...and if so, i dont want it to melt on the drive home. Serendipity...here i come!

The Russian...

A new man started working for the team that sits next to me. I dont know if he is a contractor or a permanent employee, but i hope and pray that he is a contractor.

Reason i say this is because he makes me feel really uncomfortable.

He doesnt understand the concept of "personal" space. He puts things on my desk and makes my side look messy. I once came back from lunch and he had a stack of documents on my desk. I asked him if it was his? He said yes. But he never took it away and just left it there. So, i proceeded to lift it off my desk and handed it to him.

He just didnt get it!!!

When he talks on the phone, he speaks with a very loud and clear voice...louder than when he speaks to another person across the partition.

Its so weird.

Its like he feels the person on the phone is having a hard time hearing him, so he needs to speak up. But he really doesnt...well i dont think he does.

*grrrr*

***

I got invited to a wedding of a friend of a friend...i didnt anticipate it, and now im invited to the hen's party because im invited to the wedding. Which i only just found out.

I couldnt justify buying a hat for the races, since i should only be attending the Melbourne Cup soiree this year, but since im also going to the Girls Day Out event for the hen's day party...i think i should buy the hat i saw on the weekend. *LoL*

It will sooo go with that dress i have!
;)

***

I was asked to manage a project for The Bank. I'm such a chicken, i turned the offer down. I dont want to have a weekly meetings with them. And i dont think im ready to take the plunge, but as my PM said..."you will never be ready, so just do it"...

I still said no!

***

I'm registered for the JPMorgan Chase Corporate Challenge. Its a 5.6 km run around Centennial Park on November 15th. I have a month and a bit to train for it. I spoke with my Personal Trainer last night. He actually devised a program for me, as though i was going to run a marathon. It was so funny how seriously he was taking this run. I told him it was a "fun run"...i just wanted him to prep me so that i wouldnt injure myself on the day.

So, i have this program i am suppose to start today. It should be fine, but im still on antibiotics and have to start from square one again.

He measured me to follow up on my results from working out in the past two months. I have lost 6 cm off my chest...a very big drop...that made him panic. I lost 2.5 cm off my waist...4 cm off my hips...1.5 cm from my arm and only 1 cm off my thighs. Stupid-hard-to-lose-fat-from thighs!!!

Overall a drop of 2% in body fat in the past two months.

Slow and steady wins the race.