The worst thing about being single...

Personally, the worst thing for me about being single use to be the loneliness.

You know those moments when you thought you were going to spend all afternoon reading/shopping/drawing/whatever and for some reason or other you end up with 4 hours and nothing to do.

But on Australia Day i took Mum out to lunch. On the ride to the restaurant she was telling me something about someone and she briefly made a point that i dont think she realised the impact it would have on me...nor do i believe she even knew that she was revealing a lot of depth in her words.

For me, the most horrible thing about being single right now, is the fact that it makes my mother feel shit about herself. Like she has failed me in some way.

You may think its the typical mother thing, where she wants all her daughters to be married at a decent age, lest her only daughter. But there was so much pain in what she said that i know for a fact it wasnt so simple. I was sooo going to cry.

Its a shame that my single status has to affect her too. I've learnt to accept it, but she shouldnt have to learn to accept anything on my behalf. I am after all an adult who can look after herself.

Instead of a true celebration during Chinese New Year, honestly, its when all my family gets together and compare. They compare their status - in every which way...they compare their kids and how well or bad their kids are doing...its all done under the guise of being interested in our lives, but the truth is, they are just fishing for ammo.

So, unfortunately, my mother will be dealt with a number of queries about my status and im sure they will manage to make her feel hopeless about my being single.

Great. Something to look forward to in 17 days.