Hope

"Good luck tonight c.... hope she tells u the truth"

23/08/04, 16:56:35


I had hoped she would too...and in my face, she blatantly lied.

I have kept that message that came from a very good friend who was looking out for me, as much as i was looking out for him and the rest of the group.

Its 2006 and i only just deleted it off my mobile.

Since my best friend and i parted ways over her less than tactful actions, I haven't tried to contact her, nor, has she ever tried to contact me.

In my eyes, I was and still am a better person. I wasn't going to lower my standards to accomodate her and accept the hurt she had caused.

Its funny, I had bumped into her sister late last year...and im sure she knows what had happened...Even their parents would have noticed that I stopped being an addition to their family! I didnt think her sister would talk to me, since blood is thicker than water, uno...but she did, we just had a quick chat...about me, about her, about work...we didnt speak of her sister...and im glad we didnt have to get into messy details.

Later, K told me that the sister had always been on my side...telling her sister: "what do you expect when you lie to your best friend?"

I thought i had let go of things a long while ago, I obviously had not full heartedly done so, since I kept that message until today.

Best friends come and go...lesson learned.

After that incident, the number of true friends dwindled. It doesnt really bother me, cos at heart I like being on my own just as much as I like to spend it with others, which really means that I can spread myself around evenly these days.

I was thinking lately, well really just last night...

If I was to get married, I know who i would ask to be my bridesmaids. They know who they are, cos i've told them already.

I thought about my Hen's night...I'd love for L, V, M, K, LN, A, and all my cousins to be there, so thats about 10-15 girls really. But I would not be able to have a party without E attending. So, there is a dilemma here. E isnt gay...and Hen's nights are just for girls, right...would E have to pretend to be gay for the night?

Dont think he would be too happy with that! *LoL*

When my hairdresser was cutting my hair, we were chatting about his kids, while i was chatting about my neices. He said he wished he was younger when he had his boys, like how my brother is 30 this year and Chloe is turning 5. While he is 40 this year and his oldest son will only be 3. Thats his only regret...he wont be able to play with his sons as much as my brother will be able to be active in Chloe's and Aimee's life.

He said his wife also regrets not having the boys earlier too...she will be 30 this year and that shocked me a little. At 30, she is feeling tired and weathered from the boys. She thinks that she would be more well equipped if she was in her mid 20's now and chasing after the 3 year old, while nursing the baby.

Driving to work, on 2dayFM...they were discussing the right age for women to have children. One lady called and she had her first when she was 20-something, another in late 20's and another at 36. She said it was easier when she was younger - MUCH easier.

If you ask mothers that, I think that is something they would agree on. My mother keeps talking about how stars bounce right back from having babies...but she always notes that thats only their first baby...or its only #2...when they have #3...thats when it goes down hill...your body doesnt snap back after that!

Something to think about.

I can't believe im fudging thinking about my biological clock.

There is hope on the horizon for my mother after all...