Religion

Rules and Etiquette of conversation says to avoid 3 topics when u are at a social gathering.

(1) Politics
(2) Sex
(3) Religion

I dont follow politics.
My friends are as prudish as i am, hence sex is never part of our conversations...its pretty much taboo!
As for religion...i guess from the topic on this entry, u can tell that that is what im interested in speaking about.

My aunt who is fairly young, about 28 y/o, is my father's cousin from my grandmother's side. She was the one who shared some of her artistic culture with me. I should have done Visual Arts as she did for her HSC. It is because of her, im interested in experiencing the Operas, musicals, plays at theatres, museums and exhibitions...etc... She was the one who introduced me to King St - Newtown, Glebe Markets - Glebe Point Rd, Norton St - Leichardt & the Italian forum all in a Sunday afternoon.

And it was because of her, that i am interested in travelling Europe. I dare to venture and explore local places of interest. My finances are in steady growth order, ready and waiting for my holiday to arrive.

My aunt is a petite sometimes vegetarian, who eats fish on occasion, and rarely touches meat. She embraces various cultures from various countries. She is interested in marrying a tall scottish man(think Ewan Mc Gregor), who is a primary school teacher. No Chinese IT guys, she has had enough of them! Prior to this weekend, she wanted to have a church wedding and i thought that was odd, as she wasnt of any religion...well a non practicing buddhist by default as most asians i know are.

On Saturday 26th July, 2003 at her nephew's 1st birthday party she told me she just got baptised. She was baptised Josephine Maria after the Saint Josemaria Escriva, whom she says opened her eyes and helped her find her way back to God.

Its weird. My friend and i on friday nite, were driving home and we touched on the topic of Religion. I feel odd at this moment. Not because i was talking about religion, but because i didnt want to talk about it. I am an aetheist born into Buddhism by default. I dont know.

I agree when people say that there is a need for hope and that is what religion provides. I disagree and what turns me off religion is when people preach different things saying one is more correct than the other. Is the bible open for interpretation or is it meant to be taken literally? What makes one religion "better" than another??? I dont know, i am quite skeptical when my friends and i talk about this.

My best friend from high school was a non-practicing buddhist who was later baptised a Jehovahs Witness. I didnt mind the fact that she didnt celebrate birthday's or occasions like Easter, Christmas, Anniversaries, etc. But all the bible studies just over took her life. She was either studying or at bible studies. We are still close friends, cos that kind of friendship never fades. But i hardly see her anymore. I dont blame her religion, because in all honesty it has given her hope and she is now very happy.

My aunt said to me that in the beginning of faith, the first saint that God named was Saint Peter. Peter meaning rock, strong, foundation. That is what religion is. It gives u something solid to hold onto. When times are tough, it is always there, it never changes - its constant.

Another analogy my aunt said to me was in regards to God. She said he is always there and is exactly like ur father. Humans were created with will. God let us roam freely and it is our choice to come back to him, and that is when he is there waiting with open arms for u. Like a child who runs away from their family, when the child comes back home his father is there ready waiting with open arms to welcome him back. Its that undivided love and devotion that God has waiting for each and everyone of us.

She handed me a book, titled "The way" by St Josemaria.

I read one passage and was reduced to tears.

She told me to take the book if i wanted to read on, but she wasnt going to force it upon me...so i took the book.

On my drive home, i told my mother about my aunts Baptism. My mother was crying out "oh my god" - which i think is soo contradictory to her beliefs! "What do her parents think?" she asked me...i told my mother that my aunt was an adult and that it was making my aunt happier, so who cares what her parents think. My mother's views on religion is like viewing cults. She thinks that my aunt will sell all her belongings and give up her life to follow the church and then die a death from mass suicide!

Which we all know sounds more like joining a cult not a religion.

My mother thinks God is a figmant of ones mind, not true or real because God is not tangible. My aunt believes in God because of exactly that reason. In her opinion and even the Pope's...God is too great to be physical. He is our creator and therefore he cant be like one of us humans. He is, to me a greater entity that i cant even describe.

Religion to me, is giving people hope, something that has a foundation for you to hold onto when u are in need of hope. When all is lost and failed, its something you can turn to. I dont find anything wrong with it if it makes you happy. I am my mother's daughter when i say this, i do find something wrong if your religion is "telling" you what to do. Like selling your home and belongings to fund the church, or something, i know im sounding so backwards. But im referring to those religions that are fake, that arent really based on anything, that is - CULTS.

I told my friend that i really had too much to consider right now...that i know that i will have to consider religion one day but most definately not now. I know that it is something for me to consider because there is something that feels incomplete inside of me, and maybe religion is the thing that will fill my void(i use this term loosely). Although, for now it would be too much time dedicated to finding the right one. I do feel that it is something i need, i mean, otherwise, would i have cried after reading that one passage from St Josemaria's book???

The simplicity of his writings. It was simple but it had depth that touched my soul. My aunt said it seemed to all fit for her when she found her faith after reading those books by St Josemaria. It was like every piece of the puzzle found its place. She felt complete...which is why, for now, she sees no need to be looking for a partner.

I dont really know what im doing religion wise...the principles of Buddha are quite good to learn and i think it is necessary for me to know so that i can be a good person...so i really should learn about being patient...humble...strong...compassionate... As for filling up a void...i dont think Buddhism is the key to it all.

But like i told my friend...i really need to focus on my degree...not on religion, cos if i fail...i wouldnt care what religion i was...no amount of praying would work...or would it???

I'm one subject away from graduating...and it scares me. Considering that i will be going to Uni this week on Thursday and Friday, i am in constant denial. The start of a supposed end. Do i believe i can graduate? I dont know...and that is exactly the thing that is really scaring me. The uncertainty in the extent of my knowledge. The stupidity that I feel. The fact that i cant guarantee that i will graduate! It has taken me 5 years to do a 3 year degree. That fact alone makes me sound dumb! Knowing so, makes me feel dumber.

-_-!