The dog, the horse...

The dog asked the horse: "Big sister why did u leave me?"
The horse replied: "I never left you little sister, I just moved to live in another place."
The dog said: "But you did, you left me all alone and then there was no one to look out for me. My world got turned upside down..."
The horse replied: "I never left your side little sister."
The dog said: "Because you left me lonely my heart became weaker than ever before...my child was born just the same...and died just the same..."
The horse replied: "I know your heart broke, but I was always with you little sister."
The dog said: "It didn't feel like it and thats why I did what I did..."
The horse replied: "I know what you did, and why you did it little sister."
The dog said: "I thought it would make me feel better, and that it would bring me to you..."
The horse replied: "But I never left your side little sister..."
The dog said: "At least I am with my daughter now."
The horse replied: "Yes, at least your reunited with your daughter now."

My 8th Aunt on my mother's side died by an overdose of sleeping pills. For a very long time, I think my mother blamed herself for not "being there" for her little sister. But my mother was here in Australia, while my 8th Aunt was still in Vietnam. Sending money wasnt as easy as it is today, you had to do it through the banks and to actually claim the money in the other country, you had to show identification. Which is a pretty hard deal, since during the Vietnam war and even prior to that as well as after it, not many people had "birth certificates" or "passports" or "papers of citizenship" to prove who they were.

My 8th Aunt had a heart condition...she had a weak heart. My mother tells me of stories about how beautiful and delicate she was...she would walk by like a feather floating past you. You would not hear a step taken, nor would you even hear her breathe...probably because her breaths were shallow...due to the heart condition.

Her temperament was mild and cool...she had a patience that I only wished I had. I never got to meet my 8th Aunt. She died before I went back to visit my relatives.

She married a man without money...today he is quite well off as a hair dresser. Its weird, when I ment him, I didnt know that he was my uncle. And I thought my mother and he got along, but to my surprise my mother blamed him for my 8th Aunt's death. She shifted the blame from herself to him...it was more tangible that it would be his fault than hers...well in her eyes maybe...

She said that my 8th Aunt had just given birth to a beautiful baby girl, but that baby girl was also plagued by the same illness as her mother. Her breath was shallow, her eyes were as big as pools that later got covered by cataract which lead to blindness. When she cried all you heard was "em, em, em". And because the baby was weak in the heart, she was stayed in the hospital and so did her mother to recover from giving birth to the baby.

The father of the baby was apparently a complete prick! During a visit to the hospital...he didn't go and visit his wife...no...he went to visit the baby. Now, if you got this far into my blog, you're probably wondering what is so wrong with visiting the baby? Well, I dont know many who go and visit their baby while their wife is across the corridor and has complete view of the nursery, and yet you bring along a girlfriend and your wife catches you! Grrrr...

After the baby went blind...she grew weaker and weaker...i dont think my aunt would have provided the baby with enough milk, since she was so weak herself. Soon, the baby died.

I think my aunt's heart just contorted and distorted and did multiple spasms and she just got so angry with her husband that while she stayed in the hospital and the doctors provided sleeping pills for her, she saved every one of the pills until she had more than enough to OD on. But she didn't take them until her baby died...i think it was the last straw.

My mother says that my personality is like my 8th Aunt's. A perfectionist...quite a pompous arse actually...hehehe...quite methodological...but thankfully I wasnt born with heart complications. Even though she seemed cool, calm and collected, she wasnt a push over either...she was just fair.

I think thats the way my mother wants her to be remembered as.