Existing for Existance's sake...

I thought about this for a short period last nite while i was writing in my cousin's "Congratulations - It's a Girl!" card...

She is younger than i am, happily married and is about to pop out her first baby.

She will be 22 in 3 weeks.

Dont jump to the wrong conclusion. She is educated and has career aspirations and the baby was planned. And she was so fed up with the bad rep of "young mums" that she actually went to a forum for young mothers who were all having their babies by choice. A lot of them are uni educated or are career oriented. They are not dead beat mothers who got pregnant by accident. She also wrote into a popular baby magazine telling them that they should write more articles that included young mums. So, the magazine called her up and did an article about her. Which will be published in this month's magazine.

It makes me realise how different i am to a lot of people. I use to think that i was a "do-er" but i'm not.

I'm not much really.

I dont do anything proactive.

I dont feel passionate about much.

I think the only time i will go out of my way to do anything is for my family and friends...and thats about it.

I was told that people my age who are single, its often by choice because they are focused on their career. This is the time where their job is numero uno on their list of priorities.

Its not for me.

My career is chugging along only because my manager wants me to go from Point B to Point T by the end of this year. And im only doing the things im doing, because of him. At the end of the day, its not because i really want to.

I wonder if this is just a phase and whether i will wake up from it one day. Like when i turn 28 and realise that im almost 30 and question what i have to show for the 28 years of my life?

At 25, i cant say that there is much to show for the 25 years thus far.

I have a piece of paper from a known university.

I've had a number of jobs and have found one that i am comfortable in staying in for a few more years and dont actually see myself leaving it in any time soon.

I've been to asia...but still havent gone to europe yet...

I have a lot of clothes and shoes and bags and accessories.

Errmmm...i think thats basically the summary.

-_-"

As you can see...im not really achieving much. But it doesnt really bother me.

Do i feel like im missing out on something, anything, or everything? I acknowledge that there are things out there that i could be achieving. But i'm not disappointed that i havent. And im not setting out to do it either.

I'm just going to sit around and exist like i have been for the past few years.

And if it starts to bother me...then i might consider doing something.