-Richard Bach
I told my Will (as in my version of Will from Will and Grace) about my epiphany over the long weekend…about how he had set me free. And as my Will was listening intently, his brain was working over time. At the end of it he asked “okay, so what about the rest of the quote?”
I was baffled. What “rest of the quote”??? There is no quote.
Wait…there is, I just can’t remember what the quote was. And then my Will recites it to me.
“If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they never were.”
And so, he pursued – “So, what happens if he asks you back?”
Still a little baffled, since I wasn’t thinking about getting back with him…but if I was taking the quote for what it was worth…then doesn’t that mean that if he asked me back, then we were meant to be?!
“Doesn’t it???” I asked my Will.
“I don’t know…” he tells me.
Well what good are you?! What good, eh?
=P
Should I be worried that my cousin (21 y/o) has tried to console me by indicating that women in their 40’s are getting married today??? So, I really shouldn’t lose hope, because I still have a chance of marrying someone EVEN when I turn 40.
No, I don’t take any solace from such a notion.
I’m not rejecting the idea of meeting someone in my 40’s. That’s a great hope, that you can meet someone special even at a later stage in your life.
What I don’t like is the whole “marrying” and more so the “wedding” after 40.
I personally think its ridiculous when a 40-something woman decides to get married and wants to throw a princess wedding she never had when she was in her 20’s, tiara and all, just because she can with her new found love who happens to be a divorcee with 3 teenage kids.
I cringe every time I hear the women in the office who are planning their wedding, who happen to be in their 40’s, talking about the tiara they just bought to go with their big gown and shoes.
They are entitled to do their wedding the way they want to. But that doesn’t stop me from cringing.
If I was 40-ish and getting married for the first time, I’m not going to push things by wearing a white strapless ball gown that needs a big hoop. I’d feel like a silly fool trying to recapture my youth on a day that should be celebrated with style, not with cheap chic. I’d do it without the white and without the tiara, if I was to celebrate it at all.
I would most certainly not have a BIG lavish to do with over 200 guests…unless I was an heiress with the money to splurge, then things would be different. Because I would also have the money to do plastic and look younger than I really am…so I could get away with a big wedding at 40…cos I would look like I was 30.
Although, im 25 now. And I just found my first wrinkle – that’s not a laugh line!
So, you could say all this angst is from my newest discovery…
And after talking to my cousin, I have decided that if I was fortunate to find anyone by the time I was 40 and he asked me to marry him, I’d probably just go and get the papers signed. And if I was to celebrate in any way, I would only invite the people most dear to me in the whole wide world. My mum, dad, brothers, their wives and kids, my best friends and that’s it.
I will not wear white when I’m 40.
It will be simple yet stylish.
It will be very Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis.
Isabel Allende is a really brilliant storyteller.
I have read Daughter of Fortune, Portrait in Sepia, City of the Beasts, Kindgom of the Golden Dragon, Forest of the Pygmies, and recently Zorro - the novel.
What i like about her style is that she tells the story like you are sitting cross legged on the floor in front of an open fire listening to a really marvelous storyteller reveal the greatest legend to be told. Its filled with so many layers and everything is described so that you can almost reach out and touch it. When i open her book, i know that i wont be disappointed. I know that it will be engaging, that i will be captivated, and that i will finish the book sooner rather than later.
As you may have noticed, i have this lack of tolerance for things that take too long to reach fruition.
I no longer wait for books to develop, if after reading the first few chapters, and the book has failed to grab my attention - i drop it like a dead weight. So, thankfully, i can rely on the storytelling prowess of Isabel Allende to keep me captivated. She has written plenty of books that i have yet to read...its just a matter of time.
If you are interested in the legend of Zorro, the years of when he was a babe to a young man, the story of how he became a member of La Justicia, how he became Zorro and the defender of justice - then read her version. Its rich with action and excitement, it is so much fun!
6 comments:
Hmm...no, I don't think when/if he comes back after setting you free that you and him were meant to be. It may be that he's realised he was a stupid pr1ck and threw away the best thing of his life, it may be that he realised nobody loves him the way you do, it may be he realised that nobody else loves him, period. But that's HIM. What about you? Because he's ready to 'jump' doesn't mean that you're ready to say 'how high?', righttt?!
Looking around, it appears more often than not that by the time ppl like him try and grovel back for what once were, you have moved onwards and upwards to bigger and better pastures/men by then :)
Wow, and i thought i was cynical!
(Kidding, i know im a huge cynic. I'm cynical of everyone.)
Part of me totally agrees with you, but there is a part of me that i would like to keep hopeful.
I believe if two people are meant to be, then they end up together by divine intervention.
I'm not going to jump just because he asks me to, not even if he asks politely. I would ask him to tell me why i should jump, or why doesnt he jump?
But i'm not going to let my heart turn into a lump of coal in reaction to what he has done...and im not going to rule out that if we met sometime later when we have both changed, that the possibility of us being together again wont happen.
I'm a firm believer of people having the ability to change, when they want to. And if he does change later. If i change later. And if we meet up again later...
Not because he went in search for me. Not because i went in search for him. Not even because we were just searching. But if we came together again by only-the-heavens-know-what, i would definitely give it a go.
We both met by coincidence. I wore a diamond ring on my ring finger and had moments earlier told my male friend who drove me to the party that he had to pretend to be my fiance, cos i wasnt in the mood to meet guys. And yet my ex and i met and just clicked that night.
Stranger things have happened.
Let me correct myself...
"Defintely" is a strong affirmative.
I should really have termed it as "I would give it a good consideration".
Because you are right, my knight might just come and rescue me tomorrow!
=)
You have a good point, that people can change when they choose to and that you refuse to let your heart turn into a lump of coal because of what he did to you.
Perhaps I AM too cynical in that for myself, once trust is broken then it will never really be complete again. There's always a thorn, a bit of sand stuck in the eye. You can re-build love, but trust is another matter. From reading your earlier entries about the break-up, it seemed like the split came as a shock, over both the way it happened and that it happened at all?
Might as well not think about the 'what ifs' and focus on giving the hotties around you a chance, hee :)
Oh, and I also don't believe that two people who are meant to be together end up by divine intervention. That's the easy way out! It takes blood, sweat, tears and a hell of a lot of work. Nobody is ever born good at relationships and there is no perfect match.
Or maybe I just haven't met mine yet :)
Oh no, i dont mean "divine intervention" in the sense that *poof* you have a good, solid relationship. I agree with you 100% that it takes a lot of effort and dedication from both parties to make a relationship work.
What i meant was, that it would be of divine intervention if he and i met again over a period of time. The instance, that chance of seeing each other again. What we do with that instance is up to each of us individually, but that chance was provided by something that neither of us had done to make happen. Thats the part of divine intervention.
Making a relationship work and last is filled with blood, sweat and tears from each other.
PS: I was shocked with everything. I was taken so far back, that i have only recently stepped forward and seen what could potentially be in front of me. And its looking like roses! =)
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