Unfold or Explode?

I apologise for being placid...looking and acting pretty much like a zombie...

I also apologise now to the poor person (or persons) that will suffer my wrath when all my emotions start pouring out due to something that you have said to me, that may have been significant, maybe not...might have been intentional...might be meaningless...but it triggered something in me and allowed me to let all my angst and heartache come out.

Truth of the matter is, after i lash out, i will appreciate what you have done for me, even if it was in an indirect way. Because right now, i feel like a bomb, encapsulated, slowly ticking away and i wont even know when i will go off, until i hear it - *KaBoom!*

But i thank you for helping me lift the weight and be completely emancipated.

I'm not sure what it is that is making me hold in all that i feel. Or maybe im just hollow on the inside and numb on the outside and therefore, im not quite a human being who is capable of expressing what she feels, when she isnt quite feeling?

I turn 25 tomorrow, it should be the beginning of something new...a new chapter in my life...I wanted it to be the beginning of a new chapter of my life together with him...but i guess that isn't happening now. The plan has changed on me so suddenly and caught me off-guard, unfortunately. And so, i don't have a contigency plan for this life project.

I hope its true, when people say that "time heals all wounds"...

I'll give myself time and see how things pan out.


Unfold
words & music by jason mraz

Hands in line
Arms close to my side
I'm fighting tides of an ocean's undertow
And I figure I might not make it
And I'm taking empty
But seldom keeping
And the words retreat breathing histories into stories untold
And I unfold.

My hands are high
And I'm holding out, holding up
Because I figure that I just might make it
And I'm waking empty but seldom sleeping
And the words repeat breathing histories into stories untold
And I unfold.

Quality is what you see now in the corner of your eye.
Don't be surprised if you hear the bells ring
They form from the sky and they sound bong, bong, bong
And I'm holding up because I figure that I just make it.

And I'm waking empty but seldom sleeping
And the words repeat breathing histories into stories untold
And I unfold.