"grievance period"

I happened to mention to a doctor friend that i was recently broken up with my boyfriend.

Being much more older than i was, out of concern she asked me "You aren't going to jump into another relationship so soon, are you?"

I was like "NO! I want to enjoy the fact that im single...im going to travel and do all the stuff i want to do."

She then said to me "You do know that when you get out of long relationships, it may take about a year to fully get over it."

I told her "Yeah, i figured that much..."

Slight pause, examines my facial expressions, and with a sincere smile:

"Well then," she said to me, "you can go and do all the things that you once thought you couldnt because of your commitment to your boyfriend!"

Exactly.

The point of this post...a while i ago...actually a very long while ago, (i cant even exactly remember whether a wrote about it in a single post, or if i alluded towards the idea in another post, or even when i wrote about it, but its somewhere in my archive...) i wrote about the "Grievance Period".

I call it the Grievance Period, only because that was the best way i could describe it at the time...and funny enough, i sort of neglected to acknowledge what i believed in and was only hit by it when M mentioned to me about my own philosophies...and now that the doctor friend had concurred what i have always believed, that it takes a long time to heal and get over the relationship, i feel better.

Its nice to have someone who is a doctor and tell you that what you believed, that your philosophy is accurate, its pretty neat! Especially, when they corroborate without your intervention. I didnt tell her that i thought it would take about a year for me to fully get over this breakup...she was the one who told me that it was most likely to be that way...confirming what i thought.

Since, it took me a good 7 months to get over a 11 month relationship. I spent the time looking inward, at myself. I wanted to fix myself. Make me whole, ensure my independance was still there. Feel complete & at one with myself. To be sure that i loved & respected me.

In this recent break up, it was a long relationship...not as long as you may assume, but it was passionate and very serious, to say the least. It will definitely take a year of looking in this time around, mending whats broken, building up on one's self.

I know as a person that i am complete. But i do feel a hollowness in the chest right now. And im not saying that im perfect, there is still a lot to do towards being a more full and robust me. There is still a lot of things to learn, that will take me until the day i die.

I just want to let you know or let myself know, really...that i have a direction to head and i am moving forward. I'm not taking steps back. The past is in the past, and i am leaving it there. I am going to challenge myself mentally, physically and emotionally. At the end of it, i am hoping that the hollowness will be gone. The time frame is 1 year.