Is something wrong with me?

I'm not sure how to explain how im feeling lately...

Is it simply because i'm so busy that i dont feel lonely or have i accepted the fact that im single? I know i dont want a bf...but is that my true feelings. I dont know what i want really, about anything in my life...but i think i want to be single...wait - i know i want to be single! But the confusing thing is, i have known the inner Petals tricking the Petals on the outside...so right now, im not sure if i "really" want to be alone, or i just think that is what i want, and have convinced myself so...

I actually want to be at home...and go into hibernation like a bear...that would be my ultimate dream come true...but im so busy - im just out there doing something somewhere sometime - well nearly all the time.

When i was playing touch footy at Bulli Beach on the grassy area...i took my thongs(flip flops) off so i could run...i havent walked barefooted on grass for years...i found myself walking in a weird way...like the skin on the bottom of my feet was ultra delicate and would break upon contact with the grass...my inhibitions were gone when the game started...but i miss the simple things...

I miss family traditions...like our beach days...which was usually a public holiday...cos that was when dad was free to take us to the National Park or to Wollongong, or Newcastle, etc...

I miss having my own picnics in the yard...and just lying on the ground and staring at the clouds...and when feeling like a challenge, doing some somersaults...

I woke up this morning and flicked on the tv...im torn between being clued in with the news and watching cartoons! Dragonball had morphed into something else, im like 3 generations behind in the story! =( Apparently, Astroboy is making a come back on ABC...its suppose to be on soon. I've asked my friend to find out the time and date cos he works with ABC...but i have a feeling, because its a "new generation" Astroboy...its gonna be shiet like how Transformers came back all ultra slick looking, but the stories lacked depth! *pooh*

I'm not even looking forward to going to Michael Buble @ Opera House anymore...I heard him croon to Sway on the radio as i was getting my lunch today...it didnt make me sway like it normally would...[i must be sick!]

I was resolved at one moment...now im just tired + irritable...im not even looking forward to my own party, let alone organise my best friends shindig...my mother said to me "I dont know what to wear on the 30th April." I stared at her blankly, thinking it was another wedding...and when she failed to reply to my deadpan expression i asked her "What is on the 30th?" Which in reply, she alternatively gave me a deadpan expression. It took me a good 5 mins to realise she was referring to my Graduation Ceremony. I dont think i care anymore...its more of a hassle, cos now i have to look for something to wear under the black gown. *hmph*

One moment ago, i was embracing my full life. But now, i think i just want to get back to the simple things in life...streamline my life...or move to Melbourne - where it is quieter, but i can still shop crazily - whatever option is quickest to achieve!

I dont think that im currently lacking in challenges, as im currently been thrown a whole heap of projects to do at work on top of my daily tasks. I've started a heavier regime at the gym, so my energy levels should be perking up...i hope im not getting sick!

*bleh*