Je suis perdue...

(Pronounciation: Zher swee pair.dew...)

I don't think i can really call myself a good samaritan.

I've always had a soft spot in protecting children or the older more frail.

But of late, i've noticed the helpless more often and i find myself wanting to reach out and help.

During my lunch break on Thursday, i was walking with a gf to Pitt Street to check out some pens at the Mont Blanc store (sis-in-law wants to buy a pen for my brother, who got promoted on Tuesday to a head position). Along the way, from the corner of my eye i saw a women slumped on a bench. She was semi upright with her head slightly leaning on her shoulder...slightly leaning on her chest.

My gf was oblivious to her and only turned to look when i said aloud "i wonder if she is okay?"
I wasnt sure if she was homeless...although she didnt quite look like it. She dressed neatly and had a handbag tucked under the crook of her arm and looked like an old lady who just got really tired and dozed off.

My second thought was "i wonder if she is dead?" and i really should have taken a closer look, or at least taken a moment to notice whether or not her chest was inflating and then deflating to know whether she was breathing.

But i didnt and had continued to walk away.

I wrote that i wanted to reach out and help, but i havent.

I cant really say what fear grips me and prevents me from being a "good samaritan"...because the intention to protect and help is there...its just that no action amounts from the intentions.

I wonder if that makes me a bad person. The fact that i dont act. I just wonder.

(lit: I'm lost...)